Emma by Jane Austen {para} VOLUME I {para} CHAPTER I {para} Emma Woodhouse handsome clever and rich with a comfortable home and happy disposition seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence and had lived nearly twenty one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her {para} She was the youngest of the two daughters of a most affectionate indulgent father and had in consequence of her sister 's marriage been mistress of his house from a very early period Her mother had died too long ago for her to have more than an indistinct remembrance of her caresses and her place had been supplied by an excellent woman as governess who had fallen little short of a mother in affection {para} Sixteen years had Miss Taylor been in Mr Woodhouse 's family less as a governess than a friend very fond of both daughters but particularly of Emma Between them it was more the intimacy of sisters Even before Miss Taylor had ceased to hold the nominal office of governess the mildness of her temper had hardly allowed her to impose any restraint and the shadow of authority being now long passed away they had been living together as friend and friend very mutually attached and Emma doing just what she liked highly esteeming Miss Taylor 's judgment but directed chiefly by her own {para} The real evils indeed of Emma 's situation were the power of having rather too much her own way and a disposition to think a little too well of herself these were the disadvantages which threatened alloy to her many enjoyments The danger however was at present so unperceived that they did not by any means rank as misfortunes with her {para} Sorrow came a gentle sorrow but not at all in the shape of any disagreeable consciousness Miss Taylor married It was Miss Taylor 's loss which first brought grief It was on the wedding day of this beloved friend that Emma first sat in mournful thought of any continuance The wedding over and the bride people gone her father and herself were left to dine together with no prospect of a third to cheer a long evening Her father composed himself to sleep after dinner as usual and she had then only to sit and think of what she had lost {para} The event had every promise of happiness for her friend Mr Weston was a man of unexceptionable character easy fortune suitable age and pleasant manners and there was some satisfaction in considering with what self denying generous friendship she had always wished and promoted the match but it was a black morning 's work for her The want of Miss Taylor would be felt every hour of every day She recalled her past kindness the kindness the affection of sixteen years how she had taught and how she had played with her from five years old how she had devoted all her powers to attach and amuse her in health and how nursed her through the various illnesses of childhood A large debt of gratitude was owing here but the intercourse of the last seven years the equal footing and perfect unreserve which had soon followed Isabella 's marriage on their being left to each other was yet a dearer tenderer recollection She had been a friend and companion such as few possessed intelligent well informed useful gentle knowing all the ways of the family interested in all its concerns and peculiarly interested in herself in every pleasure every scheme of hers one to whom she could speak every thought as it arose and who had such an affection for her as could never find fault {para} How was she to bear the change It was true that her friend was going only half a mile from them but Emma was aware that great must be the difference between a Mrs Weston only half a mile from them and a Miss Taylor in the house and with all her advantages natural and domestic she was now in great danger of suffering from intellectual solitude She dearly loved her father but he was no companion for her He could not meet her in conversation rational or playful {para} The evil of the actual disparity in their ages and Mr Woodhouse had not married early was much increased by his constitution and habits for having been a valetudinarian all his life without activity of mind or body he was a much older man in ways than in years and though everywhere beloved for the friendliness of his heart and his amiable temper his talents could not have recommended him at any time {para} Her sister though comparatively but little removed by matrimony being settled in London only sixteen miles off was much beyond her daily reach and many a long October and November evening must be struggled through at Hartfield before Christmas brought the next visit from Isabella and her husband and their little children to fill the house and give her pleasant society again {para} Highbury the large and populous village almost amounting to a town to which Hartfield in spite of its separate lawn and shrubberies and name did really belong afforded her no equals The Woodhouses were first in consequence there All looked up to them She had many acquaintance in the place for her father was universally civil but not one among them who could be accepted in lieu of Miss Taylor for even half a day It was a melancholy change and Emma could not but sigh over it and wish for impossible things till her father awoke and made it necessary to be cheerful His spirits required support He was a nervous man easily depressed fond of every body that he was used to and hating to part with them hating change of every kind Matrimony as the origin of change was always disagreeable and he was by no means yet reconciled to his own daughter 's marrying nor could ever speak of her but with compassion though it had been entirely a match of affection when he was now obliged to part with Miss Taylor too and from his habits of gentle selfishness and of being never able to suppose that other people could feel differently from himself he was very much disposed to think Miss Taylor had done as sad a thing for herself as for them and would have been a great deal happier if she had spent all the rest of her life at Hartfield Emma smiled and chatted as cheerfully as she could to keep him from such thoughts but when tea came it was impossible for him not to say exactly as he had said at dinner {para} Poor Miss Taylor I wish she were here again What a pity it is that Mr Weston ever thought of her {para} I cannot agree with you papa you know I cannot Mr Weston is such a good humoured pleasant excellent man that he thoroughly deserves a good wife and you would not have had Miss Taylor live with us for ever and bear all my odd humours when she might have a house of her own {para} A house of her own But where is the advantage of a house of her own This is three times as large And you have never any odd humours my dear {para} How often we shall be going to see them and they coming to see us We shall be always meeting We must begin we must go and pay wedding visit very soon {para} My dear how am I to get so far Randalls is such a distance I could not walk half so far {para} No papa nobody thought of your walking We must go in the carriage to be sure {para} The carriage But James will not like to put the horses to for such a little way and where are the poor horses to be while we are paying our visit {para} They are to be put into Mr Weston 's stable papa You know we have settled all that already We talked it all over with Mr Weston last night And as for James you may be very sure he will always like going to Randalls because of his daughter 's being housemaid there I only doubt whether he will ever take us anywhere else That was your doing papa You got Hannah that good place Nobody thought of Hannah till you mentioned her James is so obliged to you {para} I am very glad I did think of her It was very lucky for I would not have had poor James think himself slighted upon any account and I am sure she will make a very good servant she is a civil pretty spoken girl I have a great opinion of her Whenever I see her she always curtseys and asks me how I do in a very pretty manner and when you have had her here to do needlework I observe she always turns the lock of the door the right way and never bangs it I am sure she will be an excellent servant and it will be a great comfort to poor Miss Taylor to have somebody about her that she is used to see Whenever James goes over to see his daughter you know she will be hearing of us He will be able to tell her how we all are {para} Emma spared no exertions to maintain this happier flow of ideas and hoped by the help of backgammon to get her father tolerably through the evening and be attacked by no regrets but her own The backgammon table was placed but a visitor immediately afterwards walked in and made it unnecessary {para} Mr Knightley a sensible man about seven or eight and thirty was not only a very old and intimate friend of the family but particularly connected with it as the elder brother of Isabella 's husband He lived about a mile from Highbury was a frequent visitor and always welcome and at this time more welcome than usual as coming directly from their mutual connexions in London He had returned to a late dinner after some days absence and now walked up to Hartfield to say that all were well in Brunswick Square It was a happy circumstance and animated Mr Woodhouse for some time Mr Knightley had a cheerful manner which always did him good and his many inquiries after poor Isabella and her children were answered most satisfactorily When this was over Mr Woodhouse gratefully observed It is very kind of you Mr Knightley to come out at this late hour to call upon us I am afraid you must have had a shocking walk {para} Not at all sir It is a beautiful moonlight night and so mild that I must draw back from your great fire {para} But you must have found it very damp and dirty I wish you may not catch cold {para} Dirty sir Look at my shoes Not a speck on them {para} Well that is quite surprising for we have had a vast deal of rain here It rained dreadfully hard for half an hour while we were at breakfast I wanted them to put off the wedding {para} By the bye I have not wished you joy Being pretty well aware of what sort of joy you must both be feeling I have been in no hurry with my congratulations but I hope it all went off tolerably well How did you all behave Who cried most {para} Ah poor Miss Taylor Tis a sad business {para} Poor Mr and Miss Woodhouse if you please but I cannot possibly say poor Miss Taylor I have a great regard for you and Emma but when it comes to the question of dependence or independence At any rate it must be better to have only one to please than two {para} Especially when one of those two is such a fanciful troublesome creature said Emma playfully That is what you have in your head I know and what you would certainly say if my father were not by {para} I believe it is very true my dear indeed said Mr Woodhouse with a sigh I am afraid I am sometimes very fanciful and troublesome {para} My dearest papa You do not think I could mean you or suppose Mr Knightley to mean you What a horrible idea Oh no I meant only myself Mr Knightley loves to find fault with me you know in a joke it is all a joke We always say what we like to one another {para} Mr Knightley in fact was one of the few people who could see faults in Emma Woodhouse and the only one who ever told her of them and though this was not particularly agreeable to Emma herself she knew it would be so much less so to her father that she would not have him really suspect such a circumstance as her not being thought perfect by every body {para} Emma knows I never flatter her said Mr Knightley but I meant no reflection on any body Miss Taylor has been used to have two persons to please she will now have but one The chances are that she must be a gainer {para} Well said Emma willing to let it pass you want to hear about the wedding and I shall be happy to tell you for we all behaved charmingly Every body was punctual every body in their best looks not a tear and hardly a long face to be seen Oh no we all felt that we were going to be only half a mile apart and were sure of meeting every day {para} Dear Emma bears every thing so well said her father But Mr Knightley she is really very sorry to lose poor Miss Taylor and I am sure she will miss her more than she thinks for {para} Emma turned away her head divided between tears and smiles It is impossible that Emma should not miss such a companion said Mr Knightley We should not like her so well as we do sir if we could suppose it but she knows how much the marriage is to Miss Taylor 's advantage she knows how very acceptable it must be at Miss Taylor 's time of life to be settled in a home of her own and how important to her to be secure of a comfortable provision and therefore cannot allow herself to feel so much pain as pleasure Every friend of Miss Taylor must be glad to have her so happily married {para} And you have forgotten one matter of joy to me said Emma and a very considerable one that I made the match myself I made the match you know four years ago and to have it take place and be proved in the right when so many people said Mr Weston would never marry again may comfort me for any thing {para} Mr Knightley shook his head at her Her father fondly replied Ah my dear I wish you would not make matches and foretell things for whatever you say always comes to pass Pray do not make any more matches {para} I promise you to make none for myself papa but I must indeed for other people It is the greatest amusement in the world And after such success you know Every body said that Mr Weston would never marry again Oh dear no Mr Weston who had been a widower so long and who seemed so perfectly comfortable without a wife so constantly occupied either in his business in town or among his friends here always acceptable wherever he went always cheerful Mr Weston need not spend a single evening in the year alone if he did not like it Oh no Mr Weston certainly would never marry again Some people even talked of a promise to his wife on her deathbed and others of the son and the uncle not letting him All manner of solemn nonsense was talked on the subject but I believed none of it {para} Ever since the day about four years ago that Miss Taylor and I met with him in Broadway Lane when because it began to drizzle he darted away with so much gallantry and borrowed two umbrellas for us from Farmer Mitchell 's I made up my mind on the subject I planned the match from that hour and when such success has blessed me in this instance dear papa you cannot think that I shall leave off match making {para} I do not understand what you mean by success said Mr Knightley Success supposes endeavour Your time has been properly and delicately spent if you have been endeavouring for the last four years to bring about this marriage A worthy employment for a young lady 's mind But if which I rather imagine your making the match as you call it means only your planning it your saying to yourself one idle day I think it would be a very good thing for Miss Taylor if Mr Weston were to marry her and saying it again to yourself every now and then afterwards why do you talk of success Where is your merit What are you proud of You made a lucky guess and that is all that can be said {para} And have you never known the pleasure and triumph of a lucky guess I pity you I thought you cleverer for depend upon it a lucky guess is never merely luck There is always some talent in it And as to my poor word success which you quarrel with I do not know that I am so entirely without any claim to it You have drawn two pretty pictures but I think there may be a third a something between the do nothing and the do all If I had not promoted Mr Weston 's visits here and given many little encouragements and smoothed many little matters it might not have come to any thing after all I think you must know Hartfield enough to comprehend that {para} A straightforward open hearted man like Weston and a rational unaffected woman like Miss Taylor may be safely left to manage their own concerns You are more likely to have done harm to yourself than good to them by interference {para} Emma never thinks of herself if she can do good to others rejoined Mr Woodhouse understanding but in part But my dear pray do not make any more matches they are silly things and break up one 's family circle grievously {para} Only one more papa only for Mr Elton Poor Mr Elton You like Mr Elton papa I must look about for a wife for him There is nobody in Highbury who deserves him and he has been here a whole year and has fitted up his house so comfortably that it would be a shame to have him single any longer and I thought when he was joining their hands to day he looked so very much as if he would like to have the same kind office done for him I think very well of Mr Elton and this is the only way I have of doing him a service {para} Mr Elton is a very pretty young man to be sure and a very good young man and I have a great regard for him But if you want to shew him any attention my dear ask him to come and dine with us some day That will be a much better thing I dare say Mr Knightley will be so kind as to meet him {para} With a great deal of pleasure sir at any time said Mr Knightley laughing and I agree with you entirely that it will be a much better thing Invite him to dinner Emma and help him to the best of the fish and the chicken but leave him to chuse his own wife Depend upon it a man of six or seven and twenty can take care of himself {para} CHAPTER II {para} Mr Weston was a native of Highbury and born of a respectable family which for the last two or three generations had been rising into gentility and property He had received a good education but on succeeding early in life to a small independence had become indisposed for any of the more homely pursuits in which his brothers were engaged and had satisfied an active cheerful mind and social temper by entering into the militia of his county then embodied {para} Captain Weston was a general favourite and when the chances of his military life had introduced him to Miss Churchill of a great Yorkshire family and Miss Churchill fell in love with him nobody was surprized except her brother and his wife who had never seen him and who were full of pride and importance which the connexion would offend {para} Miss Churchill however being of age and with the full command of her fortune though her fortune bore no proportion to the family estate was not to be dissuaded from the marriage and it took place to the infinite mortification of Mr and Mrs Churchill who threw her off with due decorum It was an unsuitable connexion and did not produce much happiness Mrs Weston ought to have found more in it for she had a husband whose warm heart and sweet temper made him think every thing due to her in return for the great goodness of being in love with him but though she had one sort of spirit she had not the best She had resolution enough to pursue her own will in spite of her brother but not enough to refrain from unreasonable regrets at that brother 's unreasonable anger nor from missing the luxuries of her former home They lived beyond their income but still it was nothing in comparison of Enscombe she did not cease to love her husband but she wanted at once to be the wife of Captain Weston and Miss Churchill of Enscombe {para} Captain Weston who had been considered especially by the Churchills as making such an amazing match was proved to have much the worst of the bargain for when his wife died after a three years marriage he was rather a poorer man than at first and with a child to maintain From the expense of the child however he was soon relieved The boy had with the additional softening claim of a lingering illness of his mother 's been the means of a sort of reconciliation and Mr and Mrs Churchill having no children of their own nor any other young creature of equal kindred to care for offered to take the whole charge of the little Frank soon after her decease Some scruples and some reluctance the widower father may be supposed to have felt but as they were overcome by other considerations the child was given up to the care and the wealth of the Churchills and he had only his own comfort to seek and his own situation to improve as he could {para} A complete change of life became desirable He quitted the militia and engaged in trade having brothers already established in a good way in London which afforded him a favourable opening It was a concern which brought just employment enough He had still a small house in Highbury where most of his leisure days were spent and between useful occupation and the pleasures of society the next eighteen or twenty years of his life passed cheerfully away He had by that time realised an easy competence enough to secure the purchase of a little estate adjoining Highbury which he had always longed for enough to marry a woman as portionless even as Miss Taylor and to live according to the wishes of his own friendly and social disposition {para} It was now some time since Miss Taylor had begun to influence his schemes but as it was not the tyrannic influence of youth on youth it had not shaken his determination of never settling till he could purchase Randalls and the sale of Randalls was long looked forward to but he had gone steadily on with these objects in view till they were accomplished He had made his fortune bought his house and obtained his wife and was beginning a new period of existence with every probability of greater happiness than in any yet passed through He had never been an unhappy man his own temper had secured him from that even in his first marriage but his second must shew him how delightful a well judging and truly amiable woman could be and must give him the pleasantest proof of its being a great deal better to choose than to be chosen to excite gratitude than to feel it {para} He had only himself to please in his choice his fortune was his own for as to Frank it was more than being tacitly brought up as his uncle 's heir it had become so avowed an adoption as to have him assume the name of Churchill on coming of age It was most unlikely therefore that he should ever want his father 's assistance His father had no apprehension of it The aunt was a capricious woman and governed her husband entirely but it was not in Mr Weston 's nature to imagine that any caprice could be strong enough to affect one so dear and as he believed so deservedly dear He saw his son every year in London and was proud of him and his fond report of him as a very fine young man had made Highbury feel a sort of pride in him too He was looked on as sufficiently belonging to the place to make his merits and prospects a kind of common concern {para} Mr Frank Churchill was one of the boasts of Highbury and a lively curiosity to see him prevailed though the compliment was so little returned that he had never been there in his life His coming to visit his father had been often talked of but never achieved {para} Now upon his father 's marriage it was very generally proposed as a most proper attention that the visit should take place There was not a dissentient voice on the subject either when Mrs Perry drank tea with Mrs and Miss Bates or when Mrs and Miss Bates returned the visit Now was the time for Mr Frank Churchill to come among them and the hope strengthened when it was understood that he had written to his new mother on the occasion For a few days every morning visit in Highbury included some mention of the handsome letter Mrs Weston had received I suppose you have heard of the handsome letter Mr Frank Churchill has written to Mrs Weston I understand it was a very handsome letter indeed Mr Woodhouse told me of it Mr Woodhouse saw the letter and he says he never saw such a handsome letter in his life {para} It was indeed a highly prized letter Mrs Weston had of course formed a very favourable idea of the young man and such a pleasing attention was an irresistible proof of his great good sense and a most welcome addition to every source and every expression of congratulation which her marriage had already secured She felt herself a most fortunate woman and she had lived long enough to know how fortunate she might well be thought where the only regret was for a partial separation from friends whose friendship for her had never cooled and who could ill bear to part with her {para} She knew that at times she must be missed and could not think without pain of Emma 's losing a single pleasure or suffering an hour 's ennui from the want of her companionableness but dear Emma was of no feeble character she was more equal to her situation than most girls would have been and had sense and energy and spirits that might be hoped would bear her well and happily through its little difficulties and privations And then there was such comfort in the very easy distance of Randalls from Hartfield so convenient for even solitary female walking and in Mr Weston 's disposition and circumstances which would make the approaching season no hindrance to their spending half the evenings in the week together {para} Her situation was altogether the subject of hours of gratitude to Mrs Weston and of moments only of regret and her satisfaction her more than satisfaction her cheerful enjoyment was so just and so apparent that Emma well as she knew her father was sometimes taken by surprize at his being still able to pity poor Miss Taylor when they left her at Randalls in the centre of every domestic comfort or saw her go away in the evening attended by her pleasant husband to a carriage of her own But never did she go without Mr Woodhouse 's giving a gentle sigh and saying Ah poor Miss Taylor She would be very glad to stay {para} There was no recovering Miss Taylor nor much likelihood of ceasing to pity her but a few weeks brought some alleviation to Mr Woodhouse The compliments of his neighbours were over he was no longer teased by being wished joy of so sorrowful an event and the wedding cake which had been a great distress to him was all eat up His own stomach could bear nothing rich and he could never believe other people to be different from himself What was unwholesome to him he regarded as unfit for any body and he had therefore earnestly tried to dissuade them from having any wedding cake at all and when that proved vain as earnestly tried to prevent any body 's eating it He had been at the pains of consulting Mr Perry the apothecary on the subject Mr Perry was an intelligent gentlemanlike man whose frequent visits were one of the comforts of Mr Woodhouse 's life and upon being applied to he could not but acknowledge though it seemed rather against the bias of inclination that wedding cake might certainly disagree with many perhaps with most people unless taken moderately With such an opinion in confirmation of his own Mr Woodhouse hoped to influence every visitor of the newly married pair but still the cake was eaten and there was no rest for his benevolent nerves till it was all gone {para} There was a strange rumour in Highbury of all the little Perrys being seen with a slice of Mrs Weston 's wedding cake in their hands but Mr Woodhouse would never believe it {para} CHAPTER III {para} Mr Woodhouse was fond of society in his own way He liked very much to have his friends come and see him and from various united causes from his long residence at Hartfield and his good nature from his fortune his house and his daughter he could command the visits of his own little circle in a great measure as he liked He had not much intercourse with any families beyond that circle his horror of late hours and large dinner parties made him unfit for any acquaintance but such as would visit him on his own terms Fortunately for him Highbury including Randalls in the same parish and Donwell Abbey in the parish adjoining the seat of Mr Knightley comprehended many such Not unfrequently through Emma 's persuasion he had some of the chosen and the best to dine with him but evening parties were what he preferred and unless he fancied himself at any time unequal to company there was scarcely an evening in the week in which Emma could not make up a card table for him {para} Real long standing regard brought the Westons and Mr Knightley and by Mr Elton a young man living alone without liking it the privilege of exchanging any vacant evening of his own blank solitude for the elegancies and society of Mr Woodhouse 's drawing room and the smiles of his lovely daughter was in no danger of being thrown away {para} After these came a second set among the most come at able of whom were Mrs and Miss Bates and Mrs Goddard three ladies almost always at the service of an invitation from Hartfield and who were fetched and carried home so often that Mr Woodhouse thought it no hardship for either James or the horses Had it taken place only once a year it would have been a grievance {para} Mrs Bates the widow of a former vicar of Highbury was a very old lady almost past every thing but tea and quadrille She lived with her single daughter in a very small way and was considered with all the regard and respect which a harmless old lady under such untoward circumstances can excite Her daughter enjoyed a most uncommon degree of popularity for a woman neither young handsome rich nor married Miss Bates stood in the very worst predicament in the world for having much of the public favour and she had no intellectual superiority to make atonement to herself or frighten those who might hate her into outward respect She had never boasted either beauty or cleverness Her youth had passed without distinction and her middle of life was devoted to the care of a failing mother and the endeavour to make a small income go as far as possible And yet she was a happy woman and a woman whom no one named without good will It was her own universal good will and contented temper which worked such wonders She loved every body was interested in every body 's happiness quicksighted to every body 's merits thought herself a most fortunate creature and surrounded with blessings in such an excellent mother and so many good neighbours and friends and a home that wanted for nothing The simplicity and cheerfulness of her nature her contented and grateful spirit were a recommendation to every body and a mine of felicity to herself She was a great talker upon little matters which exactly suited Mr Woodhouse full of trivial communications and harmless gossip {para} Mrs Goddard was the mistress of a School not of a seminary or an establishment or any thing which professed in long sentences of refined nonsense to combine liberal acquirements with elegant morality upon new principles and new systems and where young ladies for enormous pay might be screwed out of health and into vanity but a real honest old fashioned Boarding school where a reasonable quantity of accomplishments were sold at a reasonable price and where girls might be sent to be out of the way and scramble themselves into a little education without any danger of coming back prodigies Mrs Goddard 's school was in high repute and very deservedly for Highbury was reckoned a particularly healthy spot she had an ample house and garden gave the children plenty of wholesome food let them run about a great deal in the summer and in winter dressed their chilblains with her own hands It was no wonder that a train of twenty young couple now walked after her to church She was a plain motherly kind of woman who had worked hard in her youth and now thought herself entitled to the occasional holiday of a tea visit and having formerly owed much to Mr Woodhouse 's kindness felt his particular claim on her to leave her neat parlour hung round with fancy work whenever she could and win or lose a few sixpences by his fireside {para} These were the ladies whom Emma found herself very frequently able to collect and happy was she for her father 's sake in the power though as far as she was herself concerned it was no remedy for the absence of Mrs Weston She was delighted to see her father look comfortable and very much pleased with herself for contriving things so well but the quiet prosings of three such women made her feel that every evening so spent was indeed one of the long evenings she had fearfully anticipated {para} As she sat one morning looking forward to exactly such a close of the present day a note was brought from Mrs Goddard requesting in most respectful terms to be allowed to bring Miss Smith with her a most welcome request for Miss Smith was a girl of seventeen whom Emma knew very well by sight and had long felt an interest in on account of her beauty A very gracious invitation was returned and the evening no longer dreaded by the fair mistress of the mansion {para} Harriet Smith was the natural daughter of somebody Somebody had placed her several years back at Mrs Goddard 's school and somebody had lately raised her from the condition of scholar to that of parlour boarder This was all that was generally known of her history She had no visible friends but what had been acquired at Highbury and was now just returned from a long visit in the country to some young ladies who had been at school there with her {para} She was a very pretty girl and her beauty happened to be of a sort which Emma particularly admired She was short plump and fair with a fine bloom blue eyes light hair regular features and a look of great sweetness and before the end of the evening Emma was as much pleased with her manners as her person and quite determined to continue the acquaintance {para} She was not struck by any thing remarkably clever in Miss Smith 's conversation but she found her altogether very engaging not inconveniently shy not unwilling to talk and yet so far from pushing shewing so proper and becoming a deference seeming so pleasantly grateful for being admitted to Hartfield and so artlessly impressed by the appearance of every thing in so superior a style to what she had been used to that she must have good sense and deserve encouragement Encouragement should be given Those soft blue eyes and all those natural graces should not be wasted on the inferior society of Highbury and its connexions The acquaintance she had already formed were unworthy of her The friends from whom she had just parted though very good sort of people must be doing her harm They were a family of the name of Martin whom Emma well knew by character as renting a large farm of Mr Knightley and residing in the parish of Donwell very creditably she believed she knew Mr Knightley thought highly of them but they must be coarse and unpolished and very unfit to be the intimates of a girl who wanted only a little more knowledge and elegance to be quite perfect She would notice her she would improve her she would detach her from her bad acquaintance and introduce her into good society she would form her opinions and her manners It would be an interesting and certainly a very kind undertaking highly becoming her own situation in life her leisure and powers {para} She was so busy in admiring those soft blue eyes in talking and listening and forming all these schemes in the in betweens that the evening flew away at a very unusual rate and the supper table which always closed such parties and for which she had been used to sit and watch the due time was all set out and ready and moved forwards to the fire before she was aware With an alacrity beyond the common impulse of a spirit which yet was never indifferent to the credit of doing every thing well and attentively with the real good will of a mind delighted with its own ideas did she then do all the honours of the meal and help and recommend the minced chicken and scalloped oysters with an urgency which she knew would be acceptable to the early hours and civil scruples of their guests {para} Upon such occasions poor Mr Woodhouses feelings were in sad warfare He loved to have the cloth laid because it had been the fashion of his youth but his conviction of suppers being very unwholesome made him rather sorry to see any thing put on it and while his hospitality would have welcomed his visitors to every thing his care for their health made him grieve that they would eat {para} Such another small basin of thin gruel as his own was all that he could with thorough self approbation recommend though he might constrain himself while the ladies were comfortably clearing the nicer things to say {para} Mrs Bates let me propose your venturing on one of these eggs An egg boiled very soft is not unwholesome Serle understands boiling an egg better than any body I would not recommend an egg boiled by any body else but you need not be afraid they are very small you see one of our small eggs will not hurt you Miss Bates let Emma help you to a little bit of tart a very little bit Ours are all apple tarts You need not be afraid of unwholesome preserves here I do not advise the custard Mrs Goddard what say you to half a glass of wine A small half glass put into a tumbler of water I do not think it could disagree with you {para} Emma allowed her father to talk but supplied her visitors in a much more satisfactory style and on the present evening had particular pleasure in sending them away happy The happiness of Miss Smith was quite equal to her intentions Miss Woodhouse was so great a personage in Highbury that the prospect of the introduction had given as much panic as pleasure but the humble grateful little girl went off with highly gratified feelings delighted with the affability with which Miss Woodhouse had treated her all the evening and actually shaken hands with her at last {para} CHAPTER IV {para} Harriet Smith 's intimacy at Hartfield was soon a settled thing Quick and decided in her ways Emma lost no time in inviting encouraging and telling her to come very often and as their acquaintance increased so did their satisfaction in each other As a walking companion Emma had very early foreseen how useful she might find her In that respect Mrs Weston 's loss had been important Her father never went beyond the shrubbery where two divisions of the ground sufficed him for his long walk or his short as the year varied and since Mrs Weston 's marriage her exercise had been too much confined She had ventured once alone to Randalls but it was not pleasant and a Harriet Smith therefore one whom she could summon at any time to a walk would be a valuable addition to her privileges But in every respect as she saw more of her she approved her and was confirmed in all her kind designs {para} Harriet certainly was not clever but she had a sweet docile grateful disposition was totally free from conceit and only desiring to be guided by any one she looked up to Her early attachment to herself was very amiable and her inclination for good company and power of appreciating what was elegant and clever shewed that there was no want of taste though strength of understanding must not be expected Altogether she was quite convinced of Harriet Smith 's being exactly the young friend she wanted exactly the something which her home required Such a friend as Mrs Weston was out of the question Two such could never be granted Two such she did not want It was quite a different sort of thing a sentiment distinct and independent Mrs Weston was the object of a regard which had its basis in gratitude and esteem Harriet would be loved as one to whom she could be useful For Mrs Weston there was nothing to be done for Harriet every thing {para} Her first attempts at usefulness were in an endeavour to find out who were the parents but Harriet could not tell She was ready to tell every thing in her power but on this subject questions were vain Emma was obliged to fancy what she liked but she could never believe that in the same situation she should not have discovered the truth Harriet had no penetration She had been satisfied to hear and believe just what Mrs Goddard chose to tell her and looked no farther {para} Mrs Goddard and the teachers and the girls and the affairs of the school in general formed naturally a great part of the conversation and but for her acquaintance with the Martins of Abbey Mill Farm it must have been the whole But the Martins occupied her thoughts a good deal she had spent two very happy months with them and now loved to talk of the pleasures of her visit and describe the many comforts and wonders of the place Emma encouraged her talkativeness amused by such a picture of another set of beings and enjoying the youthful simplicity which could speak with so much exultation of Mrs Martin 's having two parlours two very good parlours indeed one of them quite as large as Mrs Goddard 's drawing room and of her having an upper maid who had lived five and twenty years with her and of their having eight cows two of them Alderneys and one a little Welch cow a very pretty little Welch cow indeed and of Mrs Martin 's saying as she was so fond of it it should be called her cow and of their having a very handsome summer house in their garden where some day next year they were all to drink tea a very handsome summer house large enough to hold a dozen people {para} For some time she was amused without thinking beyond the immediate cause but as she came to understand the family better other feelings arose She had taken up a wrong idea fancying it was a mother and daughter a son and son 's wife who all lived together but when it appeared that the Mr Martin who bore a part in the narrative and was always mentioned with approbation for his great good nature in doing something or other was a single man that there was no young Mrs Martin no wife in the case she did suspect danger to her poor little friend from all this hospitality and kindness and that if she were not taken care of she might be required to sink herself forever {para} With this inspiriting notion her questions increased in number and meaning and she particularly led Harriet to talk more of Mr Martin and there was evidently no dislike to it Harriet was very ready to speak of the share he had had in their moonlight walks and merry evening games and dwelt a good deal upon his being so very good humoured and obliging He had gone three miles round one day in order to bring her some walnuts because she had said how fond she was of them and in every thing else he was so very obliging He had his shepherd 's son into the parlour one night on purpose to sing to her She was very fond of singing He could sing a little himself She believed he was very clever and understood every thing He had a very fine flock and while she was with them he had been bid more for his wool than any body in the country She believed every body spoke well of him His mother and sisters were very fond of him Mrs Martin had told her one day and there was a blush as she said it that it was impossible for any body to be a better son and therefore she was sure whenever he married he would make a good husband Not that she wanted him to marry She was in no hurry at all {para} Well done Mrs Martin thought Emma You know what you are about {para} And when she had come away Mrs Martin was so very kind as to send Mrs Goddard a beautiful goose the finest goose Mrs Goddard had ever seen Mrs Goddard had dressed it on a Sunday and asked all the three teachers Miss Nash and Miss Prince and Miss Richardson to sup with her {para} Mr Martin I suppose is not a man of information beyond the line of his own business He does not read {para} Oh yes that is no I do not know but I believe he has read a good deal but not what you would think any thing of He reads the Agricultural Reports and some other books that lay in one of the window seats but he reads all them to himself But sometimes of an evening before we went to cards he would read something aloud out of the Elegant Extracts very entertaining And I know he has read the Vicar of Wakefield He never read the Romance of the Forest nor The Children of the Abbey He had never heard of such books before I mentioned them but he is determined to get them now as soon as ever he can {para} The next question was {para} What sort of looking man is Mr Martin {para} Oh not handsome not at all handsome I thought him very plain at first but I do not think him so plain now One does not you know after a time But did you never see him He is in Highbury every now and then and he is sure to ride through every week in his way to Kingston He has passed you very often {para} That may be and I may have seen him fifty times but without having any idea of his name A young farmer whether on horseback or on foot is the very last sort of person to raise my curiosity The yeomanry are precisely the order of people with whom I feel I can have nothing to do A degree or two lower and a creditable appearance might interest me I might hope to be useful to their families in some way or other But a farmer can need none of my help and is therefore in one sense as much above my notice as in every other he is below it {para} To be sure Oh yes It is not likely you should ever have observed him but he knows you very well indeed I mean by sight {para} I have no doubt of his being a very respectable young man I know indeed that he is so and as such wish him well What do you imagine his age to be {para} He was four and twenty the 8th of last June and my birthday is the 23rd just a fortnight and a day 's difference which is very odd {para} Only four and twenty That is too young to settle His mother is perfectly right not to be in a hurry They seem very comfortable as they are and if she were to take any pains to marry him she would probably repent it Six years hence if he could meet with a good sort of young woman in the same rank as his own with a little money it might be very desirable {para} Six years hence Dear Miss Woodhouse he would be thirty years old {para} Well and that is as early as most men can afford to marry who are not born to an independence Mr Martin I imagine has his fortune entirely to make cannot be at all beforehand with the world Whatever money he might come into when his father died whatever his share of the family property it is I dare say all afloat all employed in his stock and so forth and though with diligence and good luck he may be rich in time it is next to impossible that he should have realised any thing yet {para} To be sure so it is But they live very comfortably They have no indoors man else they do not want for any thing and Mrs Martin talks of taking a boy another year {para} I wish you may not get into a scrape Harriet whenever he does marry I mean as to being acquainted with his wife for though his sisters from a superior education are not to be altogether objected to it does not follow that he might marry any body at all fit for you to notice The misfortune of your birth ought to make you particularly careful as to your associates There can be no doubt of your being a gentleman 's daughter and you must support your claim to that station by every thing within your own power or there will be plenty of people who would take pleasure in degrading you {para} Yes to be sure I suppose there are But while I visit at Hartfield and you are so kind to me Miss Woodhouse I am not afraid of what any body can do {para} You understand the force of influence pretty well Harriet but I would have you so firmly established in good society as to be independent even of Hartfield and Miss Woodhouse I want to see you permanently well connected and to that end it will be advisable to have as few odd acquaintance as may be and therefore I say that if you should still be in this country when Mr Martin marries I wish you may not be drawn in by your intimacy with the sisters to be acquainted with the wife who will probably be some mere farmer 's daughter without education {para} To be sure Yes Not that I think Mr Martin would ever marry any body but what had had some education and been very well brought up However I do not mean to set up my opinion against your 's and I am sure I shall not wish for the acquaintance of his wife I shall always have a great regard for the Miss Martins especially Elizabeth and should be very sorry to give them up for they are quite as well educated as me But if he marries a very ignorant vulgar woman certainly I had better not visit her if I can help it {para} Emma watched her through the fluctuations of this speech and saw no alarming symptoms of love The young man had been the first admirer but she trusted there was no other hold and that there would be no serious difficulty on Harriet 's side to oppose any friendly arrangement of her own {para} They met Mr Martin the very next day as they were walking on the Donwell road He was on foot and after looking very respectfully at her looked with most unfeigned satisfaction at her companion Emma was not sorry to have such an opportunity of survey and walking a few yards forward while they talked together soon made her quick eye sufficiently acquainted with Mr Robert Martin His appearance was very neat and he looked like a sensible young man but his person had no other advantage and when he came to be contrasted with gentlemen she thought he must lose all the ground he had gained in Harriet 's inclination Harriet was not insensible of manner she had voluntarily noticed her father 's gentleness with admiration as well as wonder Mr Martin looked as if he did not know what manner was {para} They remained but a few minutes together as Miss Woodhouse must not be kept waiting and Harriet then came running to her with a smiling face and in a flutter of spirits which Miss Woodhouse hoped very soon to compose {para} Only think of our happening to meet him How very odd It was quite a chance he said that he had not gone round by Randalls He did not think we ever walked this road He thought we walked towards Randalls most days He has not been able to get the Romance of the Forest yet He was so busy the last time he was at Kingston that he quite forgot it but he goes again to morrow So very odd we should happen to meet Well Miss Woodhouse is he like what you expected What do you think of him Do you think him so very plain {para} He is very plain undoubtedly remarkably plain but that is nothing compared with his entire want of gentility I had no right to expect much and I did not expect much but I had no idea that he could be so very clownish so totally without air I had imagined him I confess a degree or two nearer gentility {para} To be sure said Harriet in a mortified voice he is not so genteel as real gentlemen {para} I think Harriet since your acquaintance with us you have been repeatedly in the company of some such very real gentlemen that you must yourself be struck with the difference in Mr Martin At Hartfield you have had very good specimens of well educated well bred men I should be surprized if after seeing them you could be in company with Mr Martin again without perceiving him to be a very inferior creature and rather wondering at yourself for having ever thought him at all agreeable before Do not you begin to feel that now Were not you struck I am sure you must have been struck by his awkward look and abrupt manner and the uncouthness of a voice which I heard to be wholly unmodulated as I stood here {para} Certainly he is not like Mr Knightley He has not such a fine air and way of walking as Mr Knightley I see the difference plain enough But Mr Knightley is so very fine a man {para} Mr Knightley 's air is so remarkably good that it is not fair to compare Mr Martin with him You might not see one in a hundred with gentleman so plainly written as in Mr Knightley But he is not the only gentleman you have been lately used to What say you to Mr Weston and Mr Elton Compare Mr Martin with either of them Compare their manner of carrying themselves of walking of speaking of being silent You must see the difference {para} Oh yes there is a great difference But Mr Weston is almost an old man Mr Weston must be between forty and fifty {para} Which makes his good manners the more valuable The older a person grows Harriet the more important it is that their manners should not be bad the more glaring and disgusting any loudness or coarseness or awkwardness becomes What is passable in youth is detestable in later age Mr Martin is now awkward and abrupt what will he be at Mr Weston 's time of life {para} There is no saying indeed replied Harriet rather solemnly {para} But there may be pretty good guessing He will be a completely gross vulgar farmer totally inattentive to appearances and thinking of nothing but profit and loss {para} Will he indeed That will be very bad {para} How much his business engrosses him already is very plain from the circumstance of his forgetting to inquire for the book you recommended He was a great deal too full of the market to think of any thing else which is just as it should be for a thriving man What has he to do with books And I have no doubt that he will thrive and be a very rich man in time and his being illiterate and coarse need not disturb us {para} I wonder he did not remember the book was all Harriet 's answer and spoken with a degree of grave displeasure which Emma thought might be safely left to itself She therefore said no more for some time Her next beginning was {para} In one respect perhaps Mr Elton 's manners are superior to Mr Knightley 's or Mr Weston 's They have more gentleness They might be more safely held up as a pattern There is an openness a quickness almost a bluntness in Mr Weston which every body likes in him because there is so much good humour with it but that would not do to be copied Neither would Mr Knightley 's downright decided commanding sort of manner though it suits him very well his figure and look and situation in life seem to allow it but if any young man were to set about copying him he would not be sufferable On the contrary I think a young man might be very safely recommended to take Mr Elton as a model Mr Elton is good humoured cheerful obliging and gentle He seems to me to be grown particularly gentle of late I do not know whether he has any design of ingratiating himself with either of us Harriet by additional softness but it strikes me that his manners are softer than they used to be If he means any thing it must be to please you Did not I tell you what he said of you the other day {para} She then repeated some warm personal praise which she had drawn from Mr Elton and now did full justice to and Harriet blushed and smiled and said she had always thought Mr Elton very agreeable {para} Mr Elton was the very person fixed on by Emma for driving the young farmer out of Harriet 's head She thought it would be an excellent match and only too palpably desirable natural and probable for her to have much merit in planning it She feared it was what every body else must think of and predict It was not likely however that any body should have equalled her in the date of the plan as it had entered her brain during the very first evening of Harriet 's coming to Hartfield The longer she considered it the greater was her sense of its expediency Mr Elton 's situation was most suitable quite the gentleman himself and without low connexions at the same time not of any family that could fairly object to the doubtful birth of Harriet He had a comfortable home for her and Emma imagined a very sufficient income for though the vicarage of Highbury was not large he was known to have some independent property and she thought very highly of him as a good humoured well meaning respectable young man without any deficiency of useful understanding or knowledge of the world {para} She had already satisfied herself that he thought Harriet a beautiful girl which she trusted with such frequent meetings at Hartfield was foundation enough on his side and on Harriet 's there could be little doubt that the idea of being preferred by him would have all the usual weight and efficacy And he was really a very pleasing young man a young man whom any woman not fastidious might like He was reckoned very handsome his person much admired in general though not by her there being a want of elegance of feature which she could not dispense with but the girl who could be gratified by a Robert Martin 's riding about the country to get walnuts for her might very well be conquered by Mr Elton 's admiration {para} CHAPTER V {para} I do not know what your opinion may be Mrs Weston said Mr Knightley of this great intimacy between Emma and Harriet Smith but I think it a bad thing {para} A bad thing Do you really think it a bad thing why so {para} I think they will neither of them do the other any good {para} You surprize me Emma must do Harriet good and by supplying her with a new object of interest Harriet may be said to do Emma good I have been seeing their intimacy with the greatest pleasure How very differently we feel Not think they will do each other any good This will certainly be the beginning of one of our quarrels about Emma Mr Knightley {para} Perhaps you think I am come on purpose to quarrel with you knowing Weston to be out and that you must still fight your own battle {para} Mr Weston would undoubtedly support me if he were here for he thinks exactly as I do on the subject We were speaking of it only yesterday and agreeing how fortunate it was for Emma that there should be such a girl in Highbury for her to associate with Mr Knightley I shall not allow you to be a fair judge in this case You are so much used to live alone that you do not know the value of a companion and perhaps no man can be a good judge of the comfort a woman feels in the society of one of her own sex after being used to it all her life I can imagine your objection to Harriet Smith She is not the superior young woman which Emma 's friend ought to be But on the other hand as Emma wants to see her better informed it will be an inducement to her to read more herself They will read together She means it I know {para} Emma has been meaning to read more ever since she was twelve years old I have seen a great many lists of her drawing up at various times of books that she meant to read regularly through and very good lists they were very well chosen and very neatly arranged sometimes alphabetically and sometimes by some other rule The list she drew up when only fourteen I remember thinking it did her judgment so much credit that I preserved it some time and I dare say she may have made out a very good list now But I have done with expecting any course of steady reading from Emma She will never submit to any thing requiring industry and patience and a subjection of the fancy to the understanding Where Miss Taylor failed to stimulate I may safely affirm that Harriet Smith will do nothing You never could persuade her to read half so much as you wished You know you could not {para} I dare say replied Mrs Weston smiling that I thought so then but since we have parted I can never remember Emma 's omitting to do any thing I wished {para} There is hardly any desiring to refresh such a memory as that said Mr Knightley feelingly and for a moment or two he had done But I he soon added who have had no such charm thrown over my senses must still see hear and remember Emma is spoiled by being the cleverest of her family At ten years old she had the misfortune of being able to answer questions which puzzled her sister at seventeen She was always quick and assured Isabella slow and diffident And ever since she was twelve Emma has been mistress of the house and of you all In her mother she lost the only person able to cope with her She inherits her mother 's talents and must have been under subjection to her {para} I should have been sorry Mr Knightley to be dependent on your recommendation had I quitted Mr Woodhouse 's family and wanted another situation I do not think you would have spoken a good word for me to any body I am sure you always thought me unfit for the office I held {para} Yes said he smiling You are better placed here very fit for a wife but not at all for a governess But you were preparing yourself to be an excellent wife all the time you were at Hartfield You might not give Emma such a complete education as your powers would seem to promise but you were receiving a very good education from her on the very material matrimonial point of submitting your own will and doing as you were bid and if Weston had asked me to recommend him a wife I should certainly have named Miss Taylor {para} Thank you There will be very little merit in making a good wife to such a man as Mr Weston {para} Why to own the truth I am afraid you are rather thrown away and that with every disposition to bear there will be nothing to be borne We will not despair however Weston may grow cross from the wantonness of comfort or his son may plague him {para} I hope not that It is not likely No Mr Knightley do not foretell vexation from that quarter {para} Not I indeed I only name possibilities I do not pretend to Emma 's genius for foretelling and guessing I hope with all my heart the young man may be a Weston in merit and a Churchill in fortune But Harriet Smith I have not half done about Harriet Smith I think her the very worst sort of companion that Emma could possibly have She knows nothing herself and looks upon Emma as knowing every thing She is a flatterer in all her ways and so much the worse because undesigned Her ignorance is hourly flattery How can Emma imagine she has any thing to learn herself while Harriet is presenting such a delightful inferiority And as for Harriet I will venture to say that she cannot gain by the acquaintance Hartfield will only put her out of conceit with all the other places she belongs to She will grow just refined enough to be uncomfortable with those among whom birth and circumstances have placed her home I am much mistaken if Emma 's doctrines give any strength of mind or tend at all to make a girl adapt herself rationally to the varieties of her situation in life They only give a little polish {para} I either depend more upon Emma 's good sense than you do or am more anxious for her present comfort for I cannot lament the acquaintance How well she looked last night {para} Oh you would rather talk of her person than her mind would you Very well I shall not attempt to deny Emma 's being pretty {para} Pretty say beautiful rather Can you imagine any thing nearer perfect beauty than Emma altogether face and figure {para} I do not know what I could imagine but I confess that I have seldom seen a face or figure more pleasing to me than hers But I am a partial old friend {para} Such an eye the true hazle eye and so brilliant regular features open countenance with a complexion oh what a bloom of full health and such a pretty height and size such a firm and upright figure There is health not merely in her bloom but in her air her head her glance One hears sometimes of a child being the picture of health now Emma always gives me the idea of being the complete picture of grown up health She is loveliness itself Mr Knightley is not she {para} I have not a fault to find with her person he replied I think her all you describe I love to look at her and I will add this praise that I do not think her personally vain Considering how very handsome she is she appears to be little occupied with it her vanity lies another way Mrs Weston I am not to be talked out of my dislike of Harriet Smith or my dread of its doing them both harm {para} And I Mr Knightley am equally stout in my confidence of its not doing them any harm With all dear Emma 's little faults she is an excellent creature Where shall we see a better daughter or a kinder sister or a truer friend No no she has qualities which may be trusted she will never lead any one really wrong she will make no lasting blunder where Emma errs once she is in the right a hundred times {para} Very well I will not plague you any more Emma shall be an angel and I will keep my spleen to myself till Christmas brings John and Isabella John loves Emma with a reasonable and therefore not a blind affection and Isabella always thinks as he does except when he is not quite frightened enough about the children I am sure of having their opinions with me {para} I know that you all love her really too well to be unjust or unkind but excuse me Mr Knightley if I take the liberty I consider myself you know as having somewhat of the privilege of speech that Emma 's mother might have had the liberty of hinting that I do not think any possible good can arise from Harriet Smith 's intimacy being made a matter of much discussion among you Pray excuse me but supposing any little inconvenience may be apprehended from the intimacy it cannot be expected that Emma accountable to nobody but her father who perfectly approves the acquaintance should put an end to it so long as it is a source of pleasure to herself It has been so many years my province to give advice that you cannot be surprized Mr Knightley at this little remains of office {para} Not at all cried he I am much obliged to you for it It is very good advice and it shall have a better fate than your advice has often found for it shall be attended to {para} Mrs John Knightley is easily alarmed and might be made unhappy about her sister {para} Be satisfied said he I will not raise any outcry I will keep my ill humour to myself I have a very sincere interest in Emma Isabella does not seem more my sister has never excited a greater interest perhaps hardly so great There is an anxiety a curiosity in what one feels for Emma I wonder what will become of her {para} So do I said Mrs Weston gently very much {para} She always declares she will never marry which of course means just nothing at all But I have no idea that she has yet ever seen a man she cared for It would not be a bad thing for her to be very much in love with a proper object I should like to see Emma in love and in some doubt of a return it would do her good But there is nobody hereabouts to attach her and she goes so seldom from home {para} There does indeed seem as little to tempt her to break her resolution at present said Mrs Weston as can well be and while she is so happy at Hartfield I cannot wish her to be forming any attachment which would be creating such difficulties on poor Mr Woodhouse 's account I do not recommend matrimony at present to Emma though I mean no slight to the state I assure you {para} Part of her meaning was to conceal some favourite thoughts of her own and Mr Weston 's on the subject as much as possible There were wishes at Randalls respecting Emma 's destiny but it was not desirable to have them suspected and the quiet transition which Mr Knightley soon afterwards made to What does Weston think of the weather shall we have rain convinced her that he had nothing more to say or surmise about Hartfield {para} CHAPTER VI {para} Emma could not feel a doubt of having given Harriet 's fancy a proper direction and raised the gratitude of her young vanity to a very good purpose for she found her decidedly more sensible than before of Mr Elton 's being a remarkably handsome man with most agreeable manners and as she had no hesitation in following up the assurance of his admiration by agreeable hints she was soon pretty confident of creating as much liking on Harriet 's side as there could be any occasion for She was quite convinced of Mr Elton 's being in the fairest way of falling in love if not in love already She had no scruple with regard to him He talked of Harriet and praised her so warmly that she could not suppose any thing wanting which a little time would not add His perception of the striking improvement of Harriet 's manner since her introduction at Hartfield was not one of the least agreeable proofs of his growing attachment {para} You have given Miss Smith all that she required said he you have made her graceful and easy She was a beautiful creature when she came to you but in my opinion the attractions you have added are infinitely superior to what she received from nature {para} I am glad you think I have been useful to her but Harriet only wanted drawing out and receiving a few very few hints She had all the natural grace of sweetness of temper and artlessness in herself I have done very little {para} If it were admissible to contradict a lady said the gallant Mr Elton {para} I have perhaps given her a little more decision of character have taught her to think on points which had not fallen in her way before {para} Exactly so that is what principally strikes me So much superadded decision of character Skilful has been the hand {para} Great has been the pleasure I am sure I never met with a disposition more truly amiable {para} I have no doubt of it And it was spoken with a sort of sighing animation which had a vast deal of the lover She was not less pleased another day with the manner in which he seconded a sudden wish of hers to have Harriet 's picture {para} Did you ever have your likeness taken Harriet said she did you ever sit for your picture {para} Harriet was on the point of leaving the room and only stopt to say with a very interesting naivete {para} Oh dear no never {para} No sooner was she out of sight than Emma exclaimed {para} What an exquisite possession a good picture of her would be I would give any money for it I almost long to attempt her likeness myself You do not know it I dare say but two or three years ago I had a great passion for taking likenesses and attempted several of my friends and was thought to have a tolerable eye in general But from one cause or another I gave it up in disgust But really I could almost venture if Harriet would sit to me It would be such a delight to have her picture {para} Let me entreat you cried Mr Elton it would indeed be a delight Let me entreat you Miss Woodhouse to exercise so charming a talent in favour of your friend I know what your drawings are How could you suppose me ignorant Is not this room rich in specimens of your landscapes and flowers and has not Mrs Weston some inimitable figure pieces in her drawing room at Randalls {para} Yes good man thought Emma but what has all that to do with taking likenesses You know nothing of drawing Don't pretend to be in raptures about mine Keep your raptures for Harriet 's face Well if you give me such kind encouragement Mr Elton I believe I shall try what I can do Harriet 's features are very delicate which makes a likeness difficult and yet there is a peculiarity in the shape of the eye and the lines about the mouth which one ought to catch {para} Exactly so The shape of the eye and the lines about the mouth I have not a doubt of your success Pray pray attempt it As you will do it it will indeed to use your own words be an exquisite possession {para} But I am afraid Mr Elton Harriet will not like to sit She thinks so little of her own beauty Did not you observe her manner of answering me How completely it meant why should my picture be drawn {para} Oh yes I observed it I assure you It was not lost on me But still I cannot imagine she would not be persuaded {para} Harriet was soon back again and the proposal almost immediately made and she had no scruples which could stand many minutes against the earnest pressing of both the others Emma wished to go to work directly and therefore produced the portfolio containing her various attempts at portraits for not one of them had ever been finished that they might decide together on the best size for Harriet Her many beginnings were displayed Miniatures half lengths whole lengths pencil crayon and water colours had been all tried in turn She had always wanted to do every thing and had made more progress both in drawing and music than many might have done with so little labour as she would ever submit to She played and sang and drew in almost every style but steadiness had always been wanting and in nothing had she approached the degree of excellence which she would have been glad to command and ought not to have failed of She was not much deceived as to her own skill either as an artist or a musician but she was not unwilling to have others deceived or sorry to know her reputation for accomplishment often higher than it deserved {para} There was merit in every drawing in the least finished perhaps the most her style was spirited but had there been much less or had there been ten times more the delight and admiration of her two companions would have been the same They were both in ecstasies A likeness pleases every body and Miss Woodhouse 's performances must be capital {para} No great variety of faces for you said Emma I had only my own family to study from There is my father another of my father but the idea of sitting for his picture made him so nervous that I could only take him by stealth neither of them very like therefore Mrs Weston again and again and again you see Dear Mrs Weston always my kindest friend on every occasion She would sit whenever I asked her There is my sister and really quite her own little elegant figure and the face not unlike I should have made a good likeness of her if she would have sat longer but she was in such a hurry to have me draw her four children that she would not be quiet Then here come all my attempts at three of those four children there they are Henry and John and Bella from one end of the sheet to the other and any one of them might do for any one of the rest She was so eager to have them drawn that I could not refuse but there is no making children of three or four years old stand still you know nor can it be very easy to take any likeness of them beyond the air and complexion unless they are coarser featured than any of mama 's children ever were Here is my sketch of the fourth who was a baby I took him as he was sleeping on the sofa and it is as strong a likeness of his cockade as you would wish to see He had nestled down his head most conveniently That 's very like I am rather proud of little George The corner of the sofa is very good Then here is my last unclosing a pretty sketch of a gentleman in small size whole length my last and my best my brother Mr John Knightley This did not want much of being finished when I put it away in a pet and vowed I would never take another likeness I could not help being provoked for after all my pains and when I had really made a very good likeness of it Mrs Weston and I were quite agreed in thinking it very like only too handsome too flattering but that was a fault on the right side after all this came poor dear Isabella 's cold approbation of Yes it was a little like but to be sure it did not do him justice We had had a great deal of trouble in persuading him to sit at all It was made a great favour of and altogether it was more than I could bear and so I never would finish it to have it apologised over as an unfavourable likeness to every morning visitor in Brunswick Square and as I said I did then forswear ever drawing any body again But for Harriet 's sake or rather for my own and as there are no husbands and wives in the case at present I will break my resolution now {para} Mr Elton seemed very properly struck and delighted by the idea and was repeating No husbands and wives in the case at present indeed as you observe Exactly so No husbands and wives with so interesting a consciousness that Emma began to consider whether she had not better leave them together at once But as she wanted to be drawing the declaration must wait a little longer {para} She had soon fixed on the size and sort of portrait It was to be a whole length in water colours like Mr John Knightley 's and was destined if she could please herself to hold a very honourable station over the mantelpiece {para} The sitting began and Harriet smiling and blushing and afraid of not keeping her attitude and countenance presented a very sweet mixture of youthful expression to the steady eyes of the artist But there was no doing any thing with Mr Elton fidgeting behind her and watching every touch She gave him credit for stationing himself where he might gaze and gaze again without offence but was really obliged to put an end to it and request him to place himself elsewhere It then occurred to her to employ him in reading {para} If he would be so good as to read to them it would be a kindness indeed It would amuse away the difficulties of her part and lessen the irksomeness of Miss Smith 's {para} Mr Elton was only too happy Harriet listened and Emma drew in peace She must allow him to be still frequently coming to look any thing less would certainly have been too little in a lover and he was ready at the smallest intermission of the pencil to jump up and see the progress and be charmed There was no being displeased with such an encourager for his admiration made him discern a likeness almost before it was possible She could not respect his eye but his love and his complaisance were unexceptionable {para} The sitting was altogether very satisfactory she was quite enough pleased with the first day 's sketch to wish to go on There was no want of likeness she had been fortunate in the attitude and as she meant to throw in a little improvement to the figure to give a little more height and considerably more elegance she had great confidence of its being in every way a pretty drawing at last and of its filling its destined place with credit to them both a standing memorial of the beauty of one the skill of the other and the friendship of both with as many other agreeable associations as Mr Elton 's very promising attachment was likely to add {para} Harriet was to sit again the next day and Mr Elton just as he ought entreated for the permission of attending and reading to them again {para} By all means We shall be most happy to consider you as one of the party {para} The same civilities and courtesies the same success and satisfaction took place on the morrow and accompanied the whole progress of the picture which was rapid and happy Every body who saw it was pleased but Mr Elton was in continual raptures and defended it through every criticism {para} Miss Woodhouse has given her friend the only beauty she wanted observed Mrs Weston to him not in the least suspecting that she was addressing a lover The expression of the eye is most correct but Miss Smith has not those eyebrows and eyelashes It is the fault of her face that she has them not {para} Do you think so replied he I cannot agree with you It appears to me a most perfect resemblance in every feature I never saw such a likeness in my life We must allow for the effect of shade you know {para} You have made her too tall Emma said Mr Knightley {para} Emma knew that she had but would not own it and Mr Elton warmly added {para} Oh no certainly not too tall not in the least too tall Consider she is sitting down which naturally presents a different which in short gives exactly the idea and the proportions must be preserved you know Proportions fore shortening Oh no it gives one exactly the idea of such a height as Miss Smith 's Exactly so indeed {para} It is very pretty said Mr Woodhouse So prettily done Just as your drawings always are my dear I do not know any body who draws so well as you do The only thing I do not thoroughly like is that she seems to be sitting out of doors with only a little shawl over her shoulders and it makes one think she must catch cold {para} But my dear papa it is supposed to be summer a warm day in summer Look at the tree {para} But it is never safe to sit out of doors my dear {para} You sir may say any thing cried Mr Elton but I must confess that I regard it as a most happy thought the placing of Miss Smith out of doors and the tree is touched with such inimitable spirit Any other situation would have been much less in character The naivete of Miss Smith 's manners and altogether Oh it is most admirable I cannot keep my eyes from it I never saw such a likeness {para} The next thing wanted was to get the picture framed and here were a few difficulties It must be done directly it must be done in London the order must go through the hands of some intelligent person whose taste could be depended on and Isabella the usual doer of all commissions must not be applied to because it was December and Mr Woodhouse could not bear the idea of her stirring out of her house in the fogs of December But no sooner was the distress known to Mr Elton than it was removed His gallantry was always on the alert Might he be trusted with the commission what infinite pleasure should he have in executing it he could ride to London at any time It was impossible to say how much he should be gratified by being employed on such an errand {para} He was too good she could not endure the thought she would not give him such a troublesome office for the world brought on the desired repetition of entreaties and assurances and a very few minutes settled the business {para} Mr Elton was to take the drawing to London chuse the frame and give the directions and Emma thought she could so pack it as to ensure its safety without much incommoding him while he seemed mostly fearful of not being incommoded enough {para} What a precious deposit said he with a tender sigh as he received it {para} This man is almost too gallant to be in love thought Emma I should say so but that I suppose there may be a hundred different ways of being in love He is an excellent young man and will suit Harriet exactly it will be an Exactly so as he says himself but he does sigh and languish and study for compliments rather more than I could endure as a principal I come in for a pretty good share as a second But it is his gratitude on Harriet 's account {para} CHAPTER VII {para} The very day of Mr Elton 's going to London produced a fresh occasion for Emma 's services towards her friend Harriet had been at Hartfield as usual soon after breakfast and after a time had gone home to return again to dinner she returned and sooner than had been talked of and with an agitated hurried look announcing something extraordinary to have happened which she was longing to tell Half a minute brought it all out She had heard as soon as she got back to Mrs Goddard 's that Mr Martin had been there an hour before and finding she was not at home nor particularly expected had left a little parcel for her from one of his sisters and gone away and on opening this parcel she had actually found besides the two songs which she had lent Elizabeth to copy a letter to herself and this letter was from him from Mr Martin and contained a direct proposal of marriage Who could have thought it She was so surprized she did not know what to do Yes quite a proposal of marriage and a very good letter at least she thought so And he wrote as if he really loved her very much but she did not know and so she was come as fast as she could to ask Miss Woodhouse what she should do Emma was half ashamed of her friend for seeming so pleased and so doubtful {para} Upon my word she cried the young man is determined not to lose any thing for want of asking He will connect himself well if he can {para} Will you read the letter cried Harriet Pray do I 'd rather you would {para} Emma was not sorry to be pressed She read and was surprized The style of the letter was much above her expectation There were not merely no grammatical errors but as a composition it would not have disgraced a gentleman the language though plain was strong and unaffected and the sentiments it conveyed very much to the credit of the writer It was short but expressed good sense warm attachment liberality propriety even delicacy of feeling She paused over it while Harriet stood anxiously watching for her opinion with a Well well and was at last forced to add Is it a good letter or is it too short {para} Yes indeed a very good letter replied Emma rather slowly so good a letter Harriet that every thing considered I think one of his sisters must have helped him I can hardly imagine the young man whom I saw talking with you the other day could express himself so well if left quite to his own powers and yet it is not the style of a woman no certainly it is too strong and concise not diffuse enough for a woman No doubt he is a sensible man and I suppose may have a natural talent for thinks strongly and clearly and when he takes a pen in hand his thoughts naturally find proper words It is so with some men Yes I understand the sort of mind Vigorous decided with sentiments to a certain point not coarse A better written letter Harriet returning it than I had expected {para} Well said the still waiting Harriet well and and what shall I do {para} What shall you do In what respect Do you mean with regard to this letter {para} Yes {para} But what are you in doubt of You must answer it of course and speedily {para} Yes But what shall I say Dear Miss Woodhouse do advise me {para} Oh no no the letter had much better be all your own You will express yourself very properly I am sure There is no danger of your not being intelligible which is the first thing Your meaning must be unequivocal no doubts or demurs and such expressions of gratitude and concern for the pain you are inflicting as propriety requires will present themselves unbidden to your mind I am persuaded You need not be prompted to write with the appearance of sorrow for his disappointment {para} You think I ought to refuse him then said Harriet looking down {para} Ought to refuse him My dear Harriet what do you mean Are you in any doubt as to that I thought but I beg your pardon perhaps I have been under a mistake I certainly have been misunderstanding you if you feel in doubt as to the purport of your answer I had imagined you were consulting me only as to the wording of it {para} Harriet was silent With a little reserve of manner Emma continued {para} You mean to return a favourable answer I collect {para} No I do not that is I do not mean What shall I do What would you advise me to do Pray dear Miss Woodhouse tell me what I ought to do {para} I shall not give you any advice Harriet I will have nothing to do with it This is a point which you must settle with your feelings {para} I had no notion that he liked me so very much said Harriet contemplating the letter For a little while Emma persevered in her silence but beginning to apprehend the bewitching flattery of that letter might be too powerful she thought it best to say {para} I lay it down as a general rule Harriet that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not she certainly ought to refuse him If she can hesitate as to Yes she ought to say No directly It is not a state to be safely entered into with doubtful feelings with half a heart I thought it my duty as a friend and older than yourself to say thus much to you But do not imagine that I want to influence you {para} Oh no I am sure you are a great deal too kind to but if you would just advise me what I had best do No no I do not mean that As you say one 's mind ought to be quite made up One should not be hesitating It is a very serious thing It will be safer to say No perhaps Do you think I had better say No {para} Not for the world said Emma smiling graciously would I advise you either way You must be the best judge of your own happiness If you prefer Mr Martin to every other person if you think him the most agreeable man you have ever been in company with why should you hesitate You blush Harriet Does any body else occur to you at this moment under such a definition Harriet Harriet do not deceive yourself do not be run away with by gratitude and compassion At this moment whom are you thinking of {para} The symptoms were favourable Instead of answering Harriet turned away confused and stood thoughtfully by the fire and though the letter was still in her hand it was now mechanically twisted about without regard Emma waited the result with impatience but not without strong hopes At last with some hesitation Harriet said {para} Miss Woodhouse as you will not give me your opinion I must do as well as I can by myself and I have now quite determined and really almost made up my mind to refuse Mr Martin Do you think I am right {para} Perfectly perfectly right my dearest Harriet you are doing just what you ought While you were at all in suspense I kept my feelings to myself but now that you are so completely decided I have no hesitation in approving Dear Harriet I give myself joy of this It would have grieved me to lose your acquaintance which must have been the consequence of your marrying Mr Martin While you were in the smallest degree wavering I said nothing about it because I would not influence but it would have been the loss of a friend to me I could not have visited Mrs Robert Martin of Abbey Mill Farm Now I am secure of you for ever {para} Harriet had not surmised her own danger but the idea of it struck her forcibly {para} You could not have visited me she cried looking aghast No to be sure you could not but I never thought of that before That would have been too dreadful What an escape Dear Miss Woodhouse I would not give up the pleasure and honour of being intimate with you for any thing in the world {para} Indeed Harriet it would have been a severe pang to lose you but it must have been You would have thrown yourself out of all good society I must have given you up {para} Dear me How should I ever have borne it It would have killed me never to come to Hartfield any more {para} Dear affectionate creature You banished to Abbey Mill Farm You confined to the society of the illiterate and vulgar all your life I wonder how the young man could have the assurance to ask it He must have a pretty good opinion of himself {para} I do not think he is conceited either in general said Harriet her conscience opposing such censure at least he is very good natured and I shall always feel much obliged to him and have a great regard for but that is quite a different thing from and you know though he may like me it does not follow that I should and certainly I must confess that since my visiting here I have seen people and if one comes to compare them person and manners there is no comparison at all one is so very handsome and agreeable However I do really think Mr Martin a very amiable young man and have a great opinion of him and his being so much attached to me and his writing such a letter but as to leaving you it is what I would not do upon any consideration {para} Thank you thank you my own sweet little friend We will not be parted A woman is not to marry a man merely because she is asked or because he is attached to her and can write a tolerable letter {para} Oh no and it is but a short letter too {para} Emma felt the bad taste of her friend but let it pass with a very true and it would be a small consolation to her for the clownish manner which might be offending her every hour of the day to know that her husband could write a good letter {para} Oh yes very Nobody cares for a letter the thing is to be always happy with pleasant companions I am quite determined to refuse him But how shall I do That shall I say {para} Emma assured her there would be no difficulty in the answer and advised its being written directly which was agreed to in the hope of her assistance and though Emma continued to protest against any assistance being wanted it was in fact given in the formation of every sentence The looking over his letter again in replying to it had such a softening tendency that it was particularly necessary to brace her up with a few decisive expressions and she was so very much concerned at the idea of making him unhappy and thought so much of what his mother and sisters would think and say and was so anxious that they should not fancy her ungrateful that Emma believed if the young man had come in her way at that moment he would have been accepted after all {para} This letter however was written and sealed and sent The business was finished and Harriet safe She was rather low all the evening but Emma could allow for her amiable regrets and sometimes relieved them by speaking of her own affection sometimes by bringing forward the idea of Mr Elton {para} I shall never be invited to Abbey Mill again was said in rather a sorrowful tone {para} Nor if you were could I ever bear to part with you my Harriet You are a great deal too necessary at Hartfield to be spared to Abbey Mill {para} And I am sure I should never want to go there for I am never happy but at Hartfield {para} Some time afterwards it was I think Mrs Goddard would be very much surprized if she knew what had happened I am sure Miss Nash would for Miss Nash thinks her own sister very well married and it is only a linen draper {para} One should be sorry to see greater pride or refinement in the teacher of a school Harriet I dare say Miss Nash would envy you such an opportunity as this of being married Even this conquest would appear valuable in her eyes As to any thing superior for you I suppose she is quite in the dark The attentions of a certain person can hardly be among the tittle tattle of Highbury yet Hitherto I fancy you and I are the only people to whom his looks and manners have explained themselves {para} Harriet blushed and smiled and said something about wondering that people should like her so much The idea of Mr Elton was certainly cheering but still after a time she was tender hearted again towards the rejected Mr Martin {para} Now he has got my letter said she softly I wonder what they are all doing whether his sisters know if he is unhappy they will be unhappy too I hope he will not mind it so very much {para} Let us think of those among our absent friends who are more cheerfully employed cried Emma At this moment perhaps Mr Elton is shewing your picture to his mother and sisters telling how much more beautiful is the original and after being asked for it five or six times allowing them to hear your name your own dear name {para} My picture But he has left my picture in Bond street {para} Has he so Then I know nothing of Mr Elton No my dear little modest Harriet depend upon it the picture will not be in Bond street till just before he mounts his horse to morrow It is his companion all this evening his solace his delight It opens his designs to his family it introduces you among them it diffuses through the party those pleasantest feelings of our nature eager curiosity and warm prepossession How cheerful how animated how suspicious how busy their imaginations all are {para} Harriet smiled again and her smiles grew stronger {para} CHAPTER VIII {para} Harriet slept at Hartfield that night For some weeks past she had been spending more than half her time there and gradually getting to have a bed room appropriated to herself and Emma judged it best in every respect safest and kindest to keep her with them as much as possible just at present She was obliged to go the next morning for an hour or two to Mrs Goddard 's but it was then to be settled that she should return to Hartfield to make a regular visit of some days {para} While she was gone Mr Knightley called and sat some time with Mr Woodhouse and Emma till Mr Woodhouse who had previously made up his mind to walk out was persuaded by his daughter not to defer it and was induced by the entreaties of both though against the scruples of his own civility to leave Mr Knightley for that purpose Mr Knightley who had nothing of ceremony about him was offering by his short decided answers an amusing contrast to the protracted apologies and civil hesitations of the other {para} Well I believe if you will excuse me Mr Knightley if you will not consider me as doing a very rude thing I shall take Emma 's advice and go out for a quarter of an hour As the sun is out I believe I had better take my three turns while I can I treat you without ceremony Mr Knightley We invalids think we are privileged people {para} My dear sir do not make a stranger of me {para} I leave an excellent substitute in my daughter Emma will be happy to entertain you And therefore I think I will beg your excuse and take my three turns my winter walk {para} You cannot do better sir {para} I would ask for the pleasure of your company Mr Knightley but I am a very slow walker and my pace would be tedious to you and besides you have another long walk before you to Donwell Abbey {para} Thank you sir thank you I am going this moment myself and I think the sooner you go the better I will fetch your greatcoat and open the garden door for you {para} Mr Woodhouse at last was off but Mr Knightley instead of being immediately off likewise sat down again seemingly inclined for more chat He began speaking of Harriet and speaking of her with more voluntary praise than Emma had ever heard before {para} I cannot rate her beauty as you do said he but she is a pretty little creature and I am inclined to think very well of her disposition Her character depends upon those she is with but in good hands she will turn out a valuable woman {para} I am glad you think so and the good hands I hope may not be wanting {para} Come said he you are anxious for a compliment so I will tell you that you have improved her You have cured her of her school girl 's giggle she really does you credit {para} Thank you I should be mortified indeed if I did not believe I had been of some use but it is not every body who will bestow praise where they may You do not often overpower me with it {para} You are expecting her again you say this morning {para} Almost every moment She has been gone longer already than she intended {para} Something has happened to delay her some visitors perhaps {para} Highbury gossips Tiresome wretches {para} Harriet may not consider every body tiresome that you would {para} Emma knew this was too true for contradiction and therefore said nothing He presently added with a smile {para} I do not pretend to fix on times or places but I must tell you that I have good reason to believe your little friend will soon hear of something to her advantage {para} Indeed how so of what sort {para} A very serious sort I assure you still smiling {para} Very serious I can think of but one thing Who is in love with her Who makes you their confidant {para} Emma was more than half in hopes of Mr Elton 's having dropt a hint Mr Knightley was a sort of general friend and adviser and she knew Mr Elton looked up to him {para} I have reason to think he replied that Harriet Smith will soon have an offer of marriage and from a most unexceptionable quarter Robert Martin is the man Her visit to Abbey Mill this summer seems to have done his business He is desperately in love and means to marry her {para} He is very obliging said Emma but is he sure that Harriet means to marry him {para} Well well means to make her an offer then Will that do He came to the Abbey two evenings ago on purpose to consult me about it He knows I have a thorough regard for him and all his family and I believe considers me as one of his best friends He came to ask me whether I thought it would be imprudent in him to settle so early whether I thought her too young in short whether I approved his choice altogether having some apprehension perhaps of her being considered especially since your making so much of her as in a line of society above him I was very much pleased with all that he said I never hear better sense from any one than Robert Martin He always speaks to the purpose open straightforward and very well judging He told me every thing his circumstances and plans and what they all proposed doing in the event of his marriage He is an excellent young man both as son and brother I had no hesitation in advising him to marry He proved to me that he could afford it and that being the case I was convinced he could not do better I praised the fair lady too and altogether sent him away very happy If he had never esteemed my opinion before he would have thought highly of me then and I dare say left the house thinking me the best friend and counsellor man ever had This happened the night before last Now as we may fairly suppose he would not allow much time to pass before he spoke to the lady and as he does not appear to have spoken yesterday it is not unlikely that he should be at Mrs Goddard 's to day and she may be detained by a visitor without thinking him at all a tiresome wretch {para} Pray Mr Knightley said Emma who had been smiling to herself through a great part of this speech how do you know that Mr Martin did not speak yesterday {para} Certainly replied he surprized I do not absolutely know it but it may be inferred Was not she the whole day with you {para} Come said she I will tell you something in return for what you have told me He did speak yesterday that is he wrote and was refused {para} This was obliged to be repeated before it could be believed and Mr Knightley actually looked red with surprize and displeasure as he stood up in tall indignation and said {para} Then she is a greater simpleton than I ever believed her What is the foolish girl about {para} Oh to be sure cried Emma it is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage A man always imagines a woman to be ready for any body who asks her {para} Nonsense a man does not imagine any such thing But what is the meaning of this Harriet Smith refuse Robert Martin madness if it is so but I hope you are mistaken {para} I saw her answer nothing could be clearer {para} You saw her answer you wrote her answer too Emma this is your doing You persuaded her to refuse him {para} And if I did which however I am far from allowing I should not feel that I had done wrong Mr Martin is a very respectable young man but I cannot admit him to be Harriet 's equal and am rather surprized indeed that he should have ventured to address her By your account he does seem to have had some scruples It is a pity that they were ever got over {para} Not Harriet 's equal exclaimed Mr Knightley loudly and warmly and with calmer asperity added a few moments afterwards No he is not her equal indeed for he is as much her superior in sense as in situation Emma your infatuation about that girl blinds you What are Harriet Smith 's claims either of birth nature or education to any connexion higher than Robert Martin She is the natural daughter of nobody knows whom with probably no settled provision at all and certainly no respectable relations She is known only as parlour boarder at a common school She is not a sensible girl nor a girl of any information She has been taught nothing useful and is too young and too simple to have acquired any thing herself At her age she can have no experience and with her little wit is not very likely ever to have any that can avail her She is pretty and she is good tempered and that is all My only scruple in advising the match was on his account as being beneath his deserts and a bad connexion for him I felt that as to fortune in all probability he might do much better and that as to a rational companion or useful helpmate he could not do worse But I could not reason so to a man in love and was willing to trust to there being no harm in her to her having that sort of disposition which in good hands like his might be easily led aright and turn out very well The advantage of the match I felt to be all on her side and had not the smallest doubt nor have I now that there would be a general cry out upon her extreme good luck Even your satisfaction I made sure of It crossed my mind immediately that you would not regret your friend 's leaving Highbury for the sake of her being settled so well I remember saying to myself Even Emma with all her partiality for Harriet will think this a good match {para} I cannot help wondering at your knowing so little of Emma as to say any such thing What think a farmer and with all his sense and all his merit Mr Martin is nothing more a good match for my intimate friend Not regret her leaving Highbury for the sake of marrying a man whom I could never admit as an acquaintance of my own I wonder you should think it possible for me to have such feelings I assure you mine are very different I must think your statement by no means fair You are not just to Harriet 's claims They would be estimated very differently by others as well as myself Mr Martin may be the richest of the two but he is undoubtedly her inferior as to rank in society The sphere in which she moves is much above his It would be a degradation {para} A degradation to illegitimacy and ignorance to be married to a respectable intelligent gentleman farmer {para} As to the circumstances of her birth though in a legal sense she may be called Nobody it will not hold in common sense She is not to pay for the offence of others by being held below the level of those with whom she is brought up There can scarcely be a doubt that her father is a gentleman and a gentleman of fortune Her allowance is very liberal nothing has ever been grudged for her improvement or comfort That she is a gentleman 's daughter is indubitable to me that she associates with gentlemen 's daughters no one I apprehend will deny She is superior to Mr Robert Martin {para} Whoever might be her parents said Mr Knightley whoever may have had the charge of her it does not appear to have been any part of their plan to introduce her into what you would call good society After receiving a very indifferent education she is left in Mrs Goddard 's hands to shift as she can to move in short in Mrs Goddard 's line to have Mrs Goddard 's acquaintance Her friends evidently thought this good enough for her and it was good enough She desired nothing better herself Till you chose to turn her into a friend her mind had no distaste for her own set nor any ambition beyond it She was as happy as possible with the Martins in the summer She had no sense of superiority then If she has it now you have given it You have been no friend to Harriet Smith Emma Robert Martin would never have proceeded so far if he had not felt persuaded of her not being disinclined to him I know him well He has too much real feeling to address any woman on the haphazard of selfish passion And as to conceit he is the farthest from it of any man I know Depend upon it he had encouragement {para} It was most convenient to Emma not to make a direct reply to this assertion she chose rather to take up her own line of the subject again {para} You are a very warm friend to Mr Martin but as I said before are unjust to Harriet Harriet 's claims to marry well are not so contemptible as you represent them She is not a clever girl but she has better sense than you are aware of and does not deserve to have her understanding spoken of so slightingly Waiving that point however and supposing her to be as you describe her only pretty and good natured let me tell you that in the degree she possesses them they are not trivial recommendations to the world in general for she is in fact a beautiful girl and must be thought so by ninety nine people out of an hundred and till it appears that men are much more philosophic on the subject of beauty than they are generally supposed till they do fall in love with well informed minds instead of handsome faces a girl with such loveliness as Harriet has a certainty of being admired and sought after of having the power of chusing from among many consequently a claim to be nice Her good nature too is not so very slight a claim comprehending as it does real thorough sweetness of temper and manner a very humble opinion of herself and a great readiness to be pleased with other people I am very much mistaken if your sex in general would not think such beauty and such temper the highest claims a woman could possess {para} Upon my word Emma to hear you abusing the reason you have is almost enough to make me think so too Better be without sense than misapply it as you do {para} To be sure cried she playfully I know that is the feeling of you all I know that such a girl as Harriet is exactly what every man delights in what at once bewitches his senses and satisfies his judgment Oh Harriet may pick and chuse Were you yourself ever to marry she is the very woman for you And is she at seventeen just entering into life just beginning to be known to be wondered at because she does not accept the first offer she receives No pray let her have time to look about her {para} I have always thought it a very foolish intimacy said Mr Knightley presently though I have kept my thoughts to myself but I now perceive that it will be a very unfortunate one for Harriet You will puff her up with such ideas of her own beauty and of what she has a claim to that in a little while nobody within her reach will be good enough for her Vanity working on a weak head produces every sort of mischief Nothing so easy as for a young lady to raise her expectations too high Miss Harriet Smith may not find offers of marriage flow in so fast though she is a very pretty girl Men of sense whatever you may chuse to say do not want silly wives Men of family would not be very fond of connecting themselves with a girl of such obscurity and most prudent men would be afraid of the inconvenience and disgrace they might be involved in when the mystery of her parentage came to be revealed Let her marry Robert Martin and she is safe respectable and happy for ever but if you encourage her to expect to marry greatly and teach her to be satisfied with nothing less than a man of consequence and large fortune she may be a parlour boarder at Mrs Goddard 's all the rest of her life or at least for Harriet Smith is a girl who will marry somebody or other till she grow desperate and is glad to catch at the old writing master 's son {para} We think so very differently on this point Mr Knightley that there can be no use in canvassing it We shall only be making each other more angry But as to my letting her marry Robert Martin it is impossible she has refused him and so decidedly I think as must prevent any second application She must abide by the evil of having refused him whatever it may be and as to the refusal itself I will not pretend to say that I might not influence her a little but I assure you there was very little for me or for any body to do His appearance is so much against him and his manner so bad that if she ever were disposed to favour him she is not now I can imagine that before she had seen any body superior she might tolerate him He was the brother of her friends and he took pains to please her and altogether having seen nobody better that must have been his great assistant she might not while she was at Abbey Mill find him disagreeable But the case is altered now She knows now what gentlemen are and nothing but a gentleman in education and manner has any chance with Harriet {para} Nonsense errant nonsense as ever was talked cried Mr Knightley Robert Martin 's manners have sense sincerity and good humour to recommend them and his mind has more true gentility than Harriet Smith could understand {para} Emma made no answer and tried to look cheerfully unconcerned but was really feeling uncomfortable and wanting him very much to be gone She did not repent what she had done she still thought herself a better judge of such a point of female right and refinement than he could be but yet she had a sort of habitual respect for his judgment in general which made her dislike having it so loudly against her and to have him sitting just opposite to her in angry state was very disagreeable Some minutes passed in this unpleasant silence with only one attempt on Emma 's side to talk of the weather but he made no answer He was thinking The result of his thoughts appeared at last in these words {para} Robert Martin has no great loss if he can but think so and I hope it will not be long before he does Your views for Harriet are best known to yourself but as you make no secret of your love of match making it is fair to suppose that views and plans and projects you have and as a friend I shall just hint to you that if Elton is the man I think it will be all labour in vain {para} Emma laughed and disclaimed He continued {para} Depend upon it Elton will not do Elton is a very good sort of man and a very respectable vicar of Highbury but not at all likely to make an imprudent match He knows the value of a good income as well as any body Elton may talk sentimentally but he will act rationally He is as well acquainted with his own claims as you can be with Harriet 's He knows that he is a very handsome young man and a great favourite wherever he goes and from his general way of talking in unreserved moments when there are only men present I am convinced that he does not mean to throw himself away I have heard him speak with great animation of a large family of young ladies that his sisters are intimate with who have all twenty thousand pounds apiece {para} I am very much obliged to you said Emma laughing again If I had set my heart on Mr Elton 's marrying Harriet it would have been very kind to open my eyes but at present I only want to keep Harriet to myself I have done with match making indeed I could never hope to equal my own doings at Randalls I shall leave off while I am well {para} Good morning to you said he rising and walking off abruptly He was very much vexed He felt the disappointment of the young man and was mortified to have been the means of promoting it by the sanction he had given and the part which he was persuaded Emma had taken in the affair was provoking him exceedingly {para} Emma remained in a state of vexation too but there was more indistinctness in the causes of her 's than in his She did not always feel so absolutely satisfied with herself so entirely convinced that her opinions were right and her adversary 's wrong as Mr Knightley He walked off in more complete self approbation than he left for her She was not so materially cast down however but that a little time and the return of Harriet were very adequate restoratives Harriet 's staying away so long was beginning to make her uneasy The possibility of the young man 's coming to Mrs Goddard 's that morning and meeting with Harriet and pleading his own cause gave alarming ideas The dread of such a failure after all became the prominent uneasiness and when Harriet appeared and in very good spirits and without having any such reason to give for her long absence she felt a satisfaction which settled her with her own mind and convinced her that let Mr Knightley think or say what he would she had done nothing which woman 's friendship and woman 's feelings would not justify {para} He had frightened her a little about Mr Elton but when she considered that Mr Knightley could not have observed him as she had done neither with the interest nor she must be allowed to tell herself in spite of Mr Knightley 's pretensions with the skill of such an observer on such a question as herself that he had spoken it hastily and in anger she was able to believe that he had rather said what he wished resentfully to be true than what he knew any thing about He certainly might have heard Mr Elton speak with more unreserve than she had ever done and Mr Elton might not be of an imprudent inconsiderate disposition as to money matters he might naturally be rather attentive than otherwise to them but then Mr Knightley did not make due allowance for the influence of a strong passion at war with all interested motives Mr Knightley saw no such passion and of course thought nothing of its effects but she saw too much of it to feel a doubt of its overcoming any hesitations that a reasonable prudence might originally suggest and more than a reasonable becoming degree of prudence she was very sure did not belong to Mr Elton {para} Harriet 's cheerful look and manner established hers she came back not to think of Mr Martin but to talk of Mr Elton Miss Nash had been telling her something which she repeated immediately with great delight Mr Perry had been to Mrs Goddard 's to attend a sick child and Miss Nash had seen him and he had told Miss Nash that as he was coming back yesterday from Clayton Park he had met Mr Elton and found to his great surprize that Mr Elton was actually on his road to London and not meaning to return till the morrow though it was the whist club night which he had been never known to miss before and Mr Perry had remonstrated with him about it and told him how shabby it was in him their best player to absent himself and tried very much to persuade him to put off his journey only one day but it would not do Mr Elton had been determined to go on and had said in a very particular way indeed that he was going on business which he would not put off for any inducement in the world and something about a very enviable commission and being the bearer of something exceedingly precious Mr Perry could not quite understand him but he was very sure there must be a lady in the case and he told him so and Mr Elton only looked very conscious and smiling and rode off in great spirits Miss Nash had told her all this and had talked a great deal more about Mr Elton and said looking so very significantly at her that she did not pretend to understand what his business might be but she only knew that any woman whom Mr Elton could prefer she should think the luckiest woman in the world for beyond a doubt Mr Elton had not his equal for beauty or agreeableness {para} CHAPTER IX {para} Mr Knightley might quarrel with her but Emma could not quarrel with herself He was so much displeased that it was longer than usual before he came to Hartfield again and when they did meet his grave looks shewed that she was not forgiven She was sorry but could not repent On the contrary her plans and proceedings were more and more justified and endeared to her by the general appearances of the next few days {para} The Picture elegantly framed came safely to hand soon after Mr Elton 's return and being hung over the mantelpiece of the common sitting room he got up to look at it and sighed out his half sentences of admiration just as he ought and as for Harriet 's feelings they were visibly forming themselves into as strong and steady an attachment as her youth and sort of mind admitted Emma was soon perfectly satisfied of Mr Martin 's being no otherwise remembered than as he furnished a contrast with Mr Elton of the utmost advantage to the latter {para} Her views of improving her little friend 's mind by a great deal of useful reading and conversation had never yet led to more than a few first chapters and the intention of going on to morrow It was much easier to chat than to study much pleasanter to let her imagination range and work at Harriet 's fortune than to be labouring to enlarge her comprehension or exercise it on sober facts and the only literary pursuit which engaged Harriet at present the only mental provision she was making for the evening of life was the collecting and transcribing all the riddles of every sort that she could meet with into a thin quarto of hot pressed paper made up by her friend and ornamented with ciphers and trophies {para} In this age of literature such collections on a very grand scale are not uncommon Miss Nash head teacher at Mrs Goddard 's had written out at least three hundred and Harriet who had taken the first hint of it from her hoped with Miss Woodhouse 's help to get a great many more Emma assisted with her invention memory and taste and as Harriet wrote a very pretty hand it was likely to be an arrangement of the first order in form as well as quantity {para} Mr Woodhouse was almost as much interested in the business as the girls and tried very often to recollect something worth their putting in So many clever riddles as there used to be when he was young he wondered he could not remember them but he hoped he should in time And it always ended in Kitty a fair but frozen maid {para} His good friend Perry too whom he had spoken to on the subject did not at present recollect any thing of the riddle kind but he had desired Perry to be upon the watch and as he went about so much something he thought might come from that quarter {para} It was by no means his daughter 's wish that the intellects of Highbury in general should be put under requisition Mr Elton was the only one whose assistance she asked He was invited to contribute any really good enigmas charades or conundrums that he might recollect and she had the pleasure of seeing him most intently at work with his recollections and at the same time as she could perceive most earnestly careful that nothing ungallant nothing that did not breathe a compliment to the sex should pass his lips They owed to him their two or three politest puzzles and the joy and exultation with which at last he recalled and rather sentimentally recited that well known charade {para} My first doth affliction denote Which my second is destin 'd to feel And my whole is the best antidote That affliction to soften and heal {para} made her quite sorry to acknowledge that they had transcribed it some pages ago already {para} Why will not you write one yourself for us Mr Elton said she that is the only security for its freshness and nothing could be easier to you {para} Oh no he had never written hardly ever any thing of the kind in his life The stupidest fellow He was afraid not even Miss Woodhouse he stopt a moment or Miss Smith could inspire him {para} The very next day however produced some proof of inspiration He called for a few moments just to leave a piece of paper on the table containing as he said a charade which a friend of his had addressed to a young lady the object of his admiration but which from his manner Emma was immediately convinced must be his own {para} I do not offer it for Miss Smith 's collection said he Being my friend 's I have no right to expose it in any degree to the public eye but perhaps you may not dislike looking at it {para} The speech was more to Emma than to Harriet which Emma could understand There was deep consciousness about him and he found it easier to meet her eye than her friend 's He was gone the next moment after another moment 's pause {para} Take it said Emma smiling and pushing the paper towards Harriet it is for you Take your own {para} But Harriet was in a tremor and could not touch it and Emma never loth to be first was obliged to examine it herself {para} To Miss {para} CHARADE {para} My first displays the wealth and pomp of kings Lords of the earth their luxury and ease Another view of man my second brings Behold him there the monarch of the seas {para} But ah united what reverse we have Man 's boasted power and freedom all are flown Lord of the earth and sea he bends a slave And woman lovely woman reigns alone {para} Thy ready wit the word will soon supply May its approval beam in that soft eye {para} She cast her eye over it pondered caught the meaning read it through again to be quite certain and quite mistress of the lines and then passing it to Harriet sat happily smiling and saying to herself while Harriet was puzzling over the paper in all the confusion of hope and dulness Very well Mr Elton very well indeed I have read worse charades Courtship a very good hint I give you credit for it This is feeling your way This is saying very plainly Pray Miss Smith give me leave to pay my addresses to you Approve my charade and my intentions in the same glance {para} May its approval beam in that soft eye {para} Harriet exactly Soft is the very word for her eye of all epithets the justest that could be given {para} Thy ready wit the word will soon supply {para} Humph Harriet 's ready wit All the better A man must be very much in love indeed to describe her so Ah Mr Knightley I wish you had the benefit of this I think this would convince you For once in your life you would be obliged to own yourself mistaken An excellent charade indeed and very much to the purpose Things must come to a crisis soon now {para} She was obliged to break off from these very pleasant observations which were otherwise of a sort to run into great length by the eagerness of Harriet 's wondering questions {para} What can it be Miss Woodhouse what can it be I have not an idea I cannot guess it in the least What can it possibly be Do try to find it out Miss Woodhouse Do help me I never saw any thing so hard Is it kingdom I wonder who the friend was and who could be the young lady Do you think it is a good one Can it be woman {para} And woman lovely woman reigns alone {para} Can it be Neptune {para} Behold him there the monarch of the seas {para} Or a trident or a mermaid or a shark Oh no shark is only one syllable It must be very clever or he would not have brought it Oh Miss Woodhouse do you think we shall ever find it out {para} Mermaids and sharks Nonsense My dear Harriet what are you thinking of Where would be the use of his bringing us a charade made by a friend upon a mermaid or a shark Give me the paper and listen {para} For Miss read Miss Smith {para} My first displays the wealth and pomp of kings Lords of the earth their luxury and ease {para} That is court {para} Another view of man my second brings Behold him there the monarch of the seas {para} That is ship plain as it can be Now for the cream {para} But ah united courtship you know what reverse we have Man 's boasted power and freedom all are flown Lord of the earth and sea he bends a slave And woman lovely woman reigns alone {para} A very proper compliment and then follows the application which I think my dear Harriet you cannot find much difficulty in comprehending Read it in comfort to yourself There can be no doubt of its being written for you and to you {para} Harriet could not long resist so delightful a persuasion She read the concluding lines and was all flutter and happiness She could not speak But she was not wanted to speak It was enough for her to feel Emma spoke for her {para} There is so pointed and so particular a meaning in this compliment said she that I cannot have a doubt as to Mr Elton 's intentions You are his object and you will soon receive the completest proof of it I thought it must be so I thought I could not be so deceived but now it is clear the state of his mind is as clear and decided as my wishes on the subject have been ever since I knew you Yes Harriet just so long have I been wanting the very circumstance to happen what has happened I could never tell whether an attachment between you and Mr Elton were most desirable or most natural Its probability and its eligibility have really so equalled each other I am very happy I congratulate you my dear Harriet with all my heart This is an attachment which a woman may well feel pride in creating This is a connexion which offers nothing but good It will give you every thing that you want consideration independence a proper home it will fix you in the centre of all your real friends close to Hartfield and to me and confirm our intimacy for ever This Harriet is an alliance which can never raise a blush in either of us {para} Dear Miss Woodhouse and Dear Miss Woodhouse was all that Harriet with many tender embraces could articulate at first but when they did arrive at something more like conversation it was sufficiently clear to her friend that she saw felt anticipated and remembered just as she ought Mr Elton 's superiority had very ample acknowledgment {para} Whatever you say is always right cried Harriet and therefore I suppose and believe and hope it must be so but otherwise I could not have imagined it It is so much beyond any thing I deserve Mr Elton who might marry any body There cannot be two opinions about him He is so very superior Only think of those sweet verses To Miss Dear me how clever Could it really be meant for me {para} I cannot make a question or listen to a question about that It is a certainty Receive it on my judgment It is a sort of prologue to the play a motto to the chapter and will be soon followed by matter of fact prose {para} It is a sort of thing which nobody could have expected I am sure a month ago I had no more idea myself The strangest things do take place {para} When Miss Smiths and Mr Eltons get acquainted they do indeed and really it is strange it is out of the common course that what is so evidently so palpably desirable what courts the pre arrangement of other people should so immediately shape itself into the proper form You and Mr Elton are by situation called together you belong to one another by every circumstance of your respective homes Your marrying will be equal to the match at Randalls There does seem to be a something in the air of Hartfield which gives love exactly the right direction and sends it into the very channel where it ought to flow {para} The course of true love never did run smooth {para} A Hartfield edition of Shakespeare would have a long note on that passage {para} That Mr Elton should really be in love with me me of all people who did not know him to speak to him at Michaelmas And he the very handsomest man that ever was and a man that every body looks up to quite like Mr Knightley His company so sought after that every body says he need not eat a single meal by himself if he does not chuse it that he has more invitations than there are days in the week And so excellent in the Church Miss Nash has put down all the texts he has ever preached from since he came to Highbury Dear me When I look back to the first time I saw him How little did I think The two Abbots and I ran into the front room and peeped through the blind when we heard he was going by and Miss Nash came and scolded us away and staid to look through herself however she called me back presently and let me look too which was very good natured And how beautiful we thought he looked He was arm in arm with Mr Cole {para} This is an alliance which whoever whatever your friends may be must be agreeable to them provided at least they have common sense and we are not to be addressing our conduct to fools If they are anxious to see you happily married here is a man whose amiable character gives every assurance of it if they wish to have you settled in the same country and circle which they have chosen to place you in here it will be accomplished and if their only object is that you should in the common phrase be well married here is the comfortable fortune the respectable establishment the rise in the world which must satisfy them {para} Yes very true How nicely you talk I love to hear you You understand every thing You and Mr Elton are one as clever as the other This charade If I had studied a twelvemonth I could never have made any thing like it {para} I thought he meant to try his skill by his manner of declining it yesterday {para} I do think it is without exception the best charade I ever read {para} I never read one more to the purpose certainly {para} It is as long again as almost all we have had before {para} I do not consider its length as particularly in its favour Such things in general cannot be too short {para} Harriet was too intent on the lines to hear The most satisfactory comparisons were rising in her mind {para} It is one thing said she presently her cheeks in a glow to have very good sense in a common way like every body else and if there is any thing to say to sit down and write a letter and say just what you must in a short way and another to write verses and charades like this {para} Emma could not have desired a more spirited rejection of Mr Martin 's prose {para} Such sweet lines continued Harriet these two last But how shall I ever be able to return the paper or say I have found it out Oh Miss Woodhouse what can we do about that {para} Leave it to me You do nothing He will be here this evening I dare say and then I will give it him back and some nonsense or other will pass between us and you shall not be committed Your soft eyes shall chuse their own time for beaming Trust to me {para} Oh Miss Woodhouse what a pity that I must not write this beautiful charade into my book I am sure I have not got one half so good {para} Leave out the two last lines and there is no reason why you should not write it into your book {para} Oh but those two lines are {para} The best of all Granted for private enjoyment and for private enjoyment keep them They are not at all the less written you know because you divide them The couplet does not cease to be nor does its meaning change But take it away and all appropriation ceases and a very pretty gallant charade remains fit for any collection Depend upon it he would not like to have his charade slighted much better than his passion A poet in love must be encouraged in both capacities or neither Give me the book I will write it down and then there can be no possible reflection on you {para} Harriet submitted though her mind could hardly separate the parts so as to feel quite sure that her friend were not writing down a declaration of love It seemed too precious an offering for any degree of publicity {para} I shall never let that book go out of my own hands said she {para} Very well replied Emma a most natural feeling and the longer it lasts the better I shall be pleased But here is my father coming you will not object to my reading the charade to him It will be giving him so much pleasure He loves any thing of the sort and especially any thing that pays woman a compliment He has the tenderest spirit of gallantry towards us all You must let me read it to him {para} Harriet looked grave {para} My dear Harriet you must not refine too much upon this charade You will betray your feelings improperly if you are too conscious and too quick and appear to affix more meaning or even quite all the meaning which may be affixed to it Do not be overpowered by such a little tribute of admiration If he had been anxious for secrecy he would not have left the paper while I was by but he rather pushed it towards me than towards you Do not let us be too solemn on the business He has encouragement enough to proceed without our sighing out our souls over this charade {para} Oh no I hope I shall not be ridiculous about it Do as you please {para} Mr Woodhouse came in and very soon led to the subject again by the recurrence of his very frequent inquiry of Well my dears how does your book go on Have you got any thing fresh {para} Yes papa we have something to read you something quite fresh A piece of paper was found on the table this morning dropt we suppose by a fairy containing a very pretty charade and we have just copied it in {para} She read it to him just as he liked to have any thing read slowly and distinctly and two or three times over with explanations of every part as she proceeded and he was very much pleased and as she had foreseen especially struck with the complimentary conclusion {para} Aye that 's very just indeed that 's very properly said Very true Woman lovely woman It is such a pretty charade my dear that I can easily guess what fairy brought it Nobody could have written so prettily but you Emma {para} Emma only nodded and smiled After a little thinking and a very tender sigh he added {para} Ah it is no difficulty to see who you take after Your dear mother was so clever at all those things If I had but her memory But I can remember nothing not even that particular riddle which you have heard me mention I can only recollect the first stanza and there are several {para} Kitty a fair but frozen maid Kindled a flame I yet deplore The hood wink 'd boy I called to aid Though of his near approach afraid So fatal to my suit before {para} And that is all that I can recollect of it but it is very clever all the way through But I think my dear you said you had got it {para} Yes papa it is written out in our second page We copied it from the Elegant Extracts It was Garrick 's you know {para} Aye very true I wish I could recollect more of it {para} Kitty a fair but frozen maid {para} The name makes me think of poor Isabella for she was very near being christened Catherine after her grandmama I hope we shall have her here next week Have you thought my dear where you shall put her and what room there will be for the children {para} Oh yes she will have her own room of course the room she always has and there is the nursery for the children just as usual you know Why should there be any change {para} I do not know my dear but it is so long since she was here not since last Easter and then only for a few days Mr John Knightley 's being a lawyer is very inconvenient Poor Isabella she is sadly taken away from us all and how sorry she will be when she comes not to see Miss Taylor here {para} She will not be surprized papa at least {para} I do not know my dear I am sure I was very much surprized when I first heard she was going to be married {para} We must ask Mr and Mrs Weston to dine with us while Isabella is here {para} Yes my dear if there is time But in a very depressed tone she is coming for only one week There will not be time for any thing {para} It is unfortunate that they cannot stay longer but it seems a case of necessity Mr John Knightley must be in town again on the 28th and we ought to be thankful papa that we are to have the whole of the time they can give to the country that two or three days are not to be taken out for the Abbey Mr Knightley promises to give up his claim this Christmas though you know it is longer since they were with him than with us {para} It would be very hard indeed my dear if poor Isabella were to be anywhere but at Hartfield {para} Mr Woodhouse could never allow for Mr Knightley 's claims on his brother or any body 's claims on Isabella except his own He sat musing a little while and then said {para} But I do not see why poor Isabella should be obliged to go back so soon though he does I think Emma I shall try and persuade her to stay longer with us She and the children might stay very well {para} Ah papa that is what you never have been able to accomplish and I do not think you ever will Isabella cannot bear to stay behind her husband {para} This was too true for contradiction Unwelcome as it was Mr Woodhouse could only give a submissive sigh and as Emma saw his spirits affected by the idea of his daughter 's attachment to her husband she immediately led to such a branch of the subject as must raise them {para} Harriet must give us as much of her company as she can while my brother and sister are here I am sure she will be pleased with the children We are very proud of the children are not we papa I wonder which she will think the handsomest Henry or John {para} Aye I wonder which she will Poor little dears how glad they will be to come They are very fond of being at Hartfield Harriet {para} I dare say they are sir I am sure I do not know who is not {para} Henry is a fine boy but John is very like his mama Henry is the eldest he was named after me not after his father John the second is named after his father Some people are surprized I believe that the eldest was not but Isabella would have him called Henry which I thought very pretty of her And he is a very clever boy indeed They are all remarkably clever and they have so many pretty ways They will come and stand by my chair and say Grandpapa can you give me a bit of string and once Henry asked me for a knife but I told him knives were only made for grandpapas I think their father is too rough with them very often {para} He appears rough to you said Emma because you are so very gentle yourself but if you could compare him with other papas you would not think him rough He wishes his boys to be active and hardy and if they misbehave can give them a sharp word now and then but he is an affectionate father certainly Mr John Knightley is an affectionate father The children are all fond of him {para} And then their uncle comes in and tosses them up to the ceiling in a very frightful way {para} But they like it papa there is nothing they like so much It is such enjoyment to them that if their uncle did not lay down the rule of their taking turns whichever began would never give way to the other {para} Well I cannot understand it {para} That is the case with us all papa One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other {para} Later in the morning and just as the girls were going to separate in preparation for the regular four o'clock dinner the hero of this inimitable charade walked in again Harriet turned away but Emma could receive him with the usual smile and her quick eye soon discerned in his the consciousness of having made a push of having thrown a die and she imagined he was come to see how it might turn up His ostensible reason however was to ask whether Mr Woodhouse 's party could be made up in the evening without him or whether he should be in the smallest degree necessary at Hartfield If he were every thing else must give way but otherwise his friend Cole had been saying so much about his dining with him had made such a point of it that he had promised him conditionally to come {para} Emma thanked him but could not allow of his disappointing his friend on their account her father was sure of his rubber He re urged she re declined and he seemed then about to make his bow when taking the paper from the table she returned it {para} Oh here is the charade you were so obliging as to leave with us thank you for the sight of it We admired it so much that I have ventured to write it into Miss Smith 's collection Your friend will not take it amiss I hope Of course I have not transcribed beyond the first eight lines {para} Mr Elton certainly did not very well know what to say He looked rather doubtingly rather confused said something about honour glanced at Emma and at Harriet and then seeing the book open on the table took it up and examined it very attentively With the view of passing off an awkward moment Emma smilingly said {para} You must make my apologies to your friend but so good a charade must not be confined to one or two He may be sure of every woman 's approbation while he writes with such gallantry {para} I have no hesitation in saying replied Mr Elton though hesitating a good deal while he spoke I have no hesitation in saying at least if my friend feels at all as I do I have not the smallest doubt that could he see his little effusion honoured as I see it looking at the book again and replacing it on the table he would consider it as the proudest moment of his life {para} After this speech he was gone as soon as possible Emma could not think it too soon for with all his good and agreeable qualities there was a sort of parade in his speeches which was very apt to incline her to laugh She ran away to indulge the inclination leaving the tender and the sublime of pleasure to Harriet 's share {para} CHAPTER X {para} Though now the middle of December there had yet been no weather to prevent the young ladies from tolerably regular exercise and on the morrow Emma had a charitable visit to pay to a poor sick family who lived a little way out of Highbury {para} Their road to this detached cottage was down Vicarage Lane a lane leading at right angles from the broad though irregular main street of the place and as may be inferred containing the blessed abode of Mr Elton A few inferior dwellings were first to be passed and then about a quarter of a mile down the lane rose the Vicarage an old and not very good house almost as close to the road as it could be It had no advantage of situation but had been very much smartened up by the present proprietor and such as it was there could be no possibility of the two friends passing it without a slackened pace and observing eyes Emma 's remark was {para} There it is There go you and your riddle book one of these days Harriet 's was {para} Oh what a sweet house How very beautiful There are the yellow curtains that Miss Nash admires so much {para} I do not often walk this way now said Emma as they proceeded but then there will be an inducement and I shall gradually get intimately acquainted with all the hedges gates pools and pollards of this part of Highbury {para} Harriet she found had never in her life been within side the Vicarage and her curiosity to see it was so extreme that considering exteriors and probabilities Emma could only class it as a proof of love with Mr Elton 's seeing ready wit in her {para} I wish we could contrive it said she but I cannot think of any tolerable pretence for going in no servant that I want to inquire about of his housekeeper no message from my father {para} She pondered but could think of nothing After a mutual silence of some minutes Harriet thus began again {para} I do so wonder Miss Woodhouse that you should not be married or going to be married so charming as you are {para} Emma laughed and replied {para} My being charming Harriet is not quite enough to induce me to marry I must find other people charming one other person at least And I am not only not going to be married at present but have very little intention of ever marrying at all {para} Ah so you say but I cannot believe it {para} I must see somebody very superior to any one I have seen yet to be tempted Mr Elton you know recollecting herself is out of the question and I do not wish to see any such person I would rather not be tempted I cannot really change for the better If I were to marry I must expect to repent it {para} Dear me it is so odd to hear a woman talk so {para} I have none of the usual inducements of women to marry Were I to fall in love indeed it would be a different thing but I never have been in love it is not my way or my nature and I do not think I ever shall And without love I am sure I should be a fool to change such a situation as mine Fortune I do not want employment I do not want consequence I do not want I believe few married women are half as much mistress of their husband 's house as I am of Hartfield and never never could I expect to be so truly beloved and important so always first and always right in any man 's eyes as I am in my father 's {para} But then to be an old maid at last like Miss Bates {para} That is as formidable an image as you could present Harriet and if I thought I should ever be like Miss Bates so silly so satisfied so smiling so prosing so undistinguishing and unfastidious and so apt to tell every thing relative to every body about me I would marry to morrow But between us I am convinced there never can be any likeness except in being unmarried {para} But still you will be an old maid and that 's so dreadful {para} Never mind Harriet I shall not be a poor old maid and it is poverty only which makes celibacy contemptible to a generous public A single woman with a very narrow income must be a ridiculous disagreeable old maid the proper sport of boys and girls but a single woman of good fortune is always respectable and may be as sensible and pleasant as any body else And the distinction is not quite so much against the candour and common sense of the world as appears at first for a very narrow income has a tendency to contract the mind and sour the temper Those who can barely live and who live perforce in a very small and generally very inferior society may well be illiberal and cross This does not apply however to Miss Bates she is only too good natured and too silly to suit me but in general she is very much to the taste of every body though single and though poor Poverty certainly has not contracted her mind I really believe if she had only a shilling in the world she would be very likely to give away sixpence of it and nobody is afraid of her that is a great charm {para} Dear me but what shall you do how shall you employ yourself when you grow old {para} If I know myself Harriet mine is an active busy mind with a great many independent resources and I do not perceive why I should be more in want of employment at forty or fifty than one and twenty Woman 's usual occupations of hand and mind will be as open to me then as they are now or with no important variation If I draw less I shall read more if I give up music I shall take to carpet work And as for objects of interest objects for the affections which is in truth the great point of inferiority the want of which is really the great evil to be avoided in not marrying I shall be very well off with all the children of a sister I love so much to care about There will be enough of them in all probability to supply every sort of sensation that declining life can need There will be enough for every hope and every fear and though my attachment to none can equal that of a parent it suits my ideas of comfort better than what is warmer and blinder My nephews and nieces I shall often have a niece with me {para} Do you know Miss Bates 's niece That is I know you must have seen her a hundred times but are you acquainted {para} Oh yes we are always forced to be acquainted whenever she comes to Highbury By the bye that is almost enough to put one out of conceit with a niece Heaven forbid at least that I should ever bore people half so much about all the Knightleys together as she does about Jane Fairfax One is sick of the very name of Jane Fairfax Every letter from her is read forty times over her compliments to all friends go round and round again and if she does but send her aunt the pattern of a stomacher or knit a pair of garters for her grandmother one hears of nothing else for a month I wish Jane Fairfax very well but she tires me to death {para} They were now approaching the cottage and all idle topics were superseded Emma was very compassionate and the distresses of the poor were as sure of relief from her personal attention and kindness her counsel and her patience as from her purse She understood their ways could allow for their ignorance and their temptations had no romantic expectations of extraordinary virtue from those for whom education had done so little entered into their troubles with ready sympathy and always gave her assistance with as much intelligence as good will In the present instance it was sickness and poverty together which she came to visit and after remaining there as long as she could give comfort or advice she quitted the cottage with such an impression of the scene as made her say to Harriet as they walked away {para} These are the sights Harriet to do one good How trifling they make every thing else appear I feel now as if I could think of nothing but these poor creatures all the rest of the day and yet who can say how soon it may all vanish from my mind {para} Very true said Harriet Poor creatures one can think of nothing else {para} And really I do not think the impression will soon be over said Emma as she crossed the low hedge and tottering footstep which ended the narrow slippery path through the cottage garden and brought them into the lane again I do not think it will stopping to look once more at all the outward wretchedness of the place and recall the still greater within {para} Oh dear no said her companion {para} They walked on The lane made a slight bend and when that bend was passed Mr Elton was immediately in sight and so near as to give Emma time only to say farther {para} Ah Harriet here comes a very sudden trial of our stability in good thoughts Well smiling I hope it may be allowed that if compassion has produced exertion and relief to the sufferers it has done all that is truly important If we feel for the wretched enough to do all we can for them the rest is empty sympathy only distressing to ourselves {para} Harriet could just answer Oh dear yes before the gentleman joined them The wants and sufferings of the poor family however were the first subject on meeting He had been going to call on them His visit he would now defer but they had a very interesting parley about what could be done and should be done Mr Elton then turned back to accompany them {para} To fall in with each other on such an errand as this thought Emma to meet in a charitable scheme this will bring a great increase of love on each side I should not wonder if it were to bring on the declaration It must if I were not here I wish I were anywhere else {para} Anxious to separate herself from them as far as she could she soon afterwards took possession of a narrow footpath a little raised on one side of the lane leaving them together in the main road But she had not been there two minutes when she found that Harriet 's habits of dependence and imitation were bringing her up too and that in short they would both be soon after her This would not do she immediately stopped under pretence of having some alteration to make in the lacing of her half boot and stooping down in complete occupation of the footpath begged them to have the goodness to walk on and she would follow in half a minute They did as they were desired and by the time she judged it reasonable to have done with her boot she had the comfort of farther delay in her power being overtaken by a child from the cottage setting out according to orders with her pitcher to fetch broth from Hartfield To walk by the side of this child and talk to and question her was the most natural thing in the world or would have been the most natural had she been acting just then without design and by this means the others were still able to keep ahead without any obligation of waiting for her She gained on them however involuntarily the child 's pace was quick and theirs rather slow and she was the more concerned at it from their being evidently in a conversation which interested them Mr Elton was speaking with animation Harriet listening with a very pleased attention and Emma having sent the child on was beginning to think how she might draw back a little more when they both looked around and she was obliged to join them {para} Mr Elton was still talking still engaged in some interesting detail and Emma experienced some disappointment when she found that he was only giving his fair companion an account of the yesterday 's party at his friend Cole 's and that she was come in herself for the Stilton cheese the north Wiltshire the butter the cellery the beet root and all the dessert {para} This would soon have led to something better of course was her consoling reflection any thing interests between those who love and any thing will serve as introduction to what is near the heart If I could but have kept longer away {para} They now walked on together quietly till within view of the vicarage pales when a sudden resolution of at least getting Harriet into the house made her again find something very much amiss about her boot and fall behind to arrange it once more She then broke the lace off short and dexterously throwing it into a ditch was presently obliged to entreat them to stop and acknowledged her inability to put herself to rights so as to be able to walk home in tolerable comfort {para} Part of my lace is gone said she and I do not know how I am to contrive I really am a most troublesome companion to you both but I hope I am not often so ill equipped Mr Elton I must beg leave to stop at your house and ask your housekeeper for a bit of ribband or string or any thing just to keep my boot on {para} Mr Elton looked all happiness at this proposition and nothing could exceed his alertness and attention in conducting them into his house and endeavouring to make every thing appear to advantage The room they were taken into was the one he chiefly occupied and looking forwards behind it was another with which it immediately communicated the door between them was open and Emma passed into it with the housekeeper to receive her assistance in the most comfortable manner She was obliged to leave the door ajar as she found it but she fully intended that Mr Elton should close it It was not closed however it still remained ajar but by engaging the housekeeper in incessant conversation she hoped to make it practicable for him to chuse his own subject in the adjoining room For ten minutes she could hear nothing but herself It could be protracted no longer She was then obliged to be finished and make her appearance {para} The lovers were standing together at one of the windows It had a most favourable aspect and for half a minute Emma felt the glory of having schemed successfully But it would not do he had not come to the point He had been most agreeable most delightful he had told Harriet that he had seen them go by and had purposely followed them other little gallantries and allusions had been dropt but nothing serious {para} Cautious very cautious thought Emma he advances inch by inch and will hazard nothing till he believes himself secure {para} Still however though every thing had not been accomplished by her ingenious device she could not but flatter herself that it had been the occasion of much present enjoyment to both and must be leading them forward to the great event {para} CHAPTER XI {para} Mr Elton must now be left to himself It was no longer in Emma 's power to superintend his happiness or quicken his measures The coming of her sister 's family was so very near at hand that first in anticipation and then in reality it became henceforth her prime object of interest and during the ten days of their stay at Hartfield it was not to be expected she did not herself expect that any thing beyond occasional fortuitous assistance could be afforded by her to the lovers They might advance rapidly if they would however they must advance somehow or other whether they would or no She hardly wished to have more leisure for them There are people who the more you do for them the less they will do for themselves {para} Mr and Mrs John Knightley from having been longer than usual absent from Surry were exciting of course rather more than the usual interest Till this year every long vacation since their marriage had been divided between Hartfield and Donwell Abbey but all the holidays of this autumn had been given to sea bathing for the children and it was therefore many months since they had been seen in a regular way by their Surry connexions or seen at all by Mr Woodhouse who could not be induced to get so far as London even for poor Isabella 's sake and who consequently was now most nervously and apprehensively happy in forestalling this too short visit {para} He thought much of the evils of the journey for her and not a little of the fatigues of his own horses and coachman who were to bring some of the party the last half of the way but his alarms were needless the sixteen miles being happily accomplished and Mr and Mrs John Knightley their five children and a competent number of nursery maids all reaching Hartfield in safety The bustle and joy of such an arrival the many to be talked to welcomed encouraged and variously dispersed and disposed of produced a noise and confusion which his nerves could not have borne under any other cause nor have endured much longer even for this but the ways of Hartfield and the feelings of her father were so respected by Mrs John Knightley that in spite of maternal solicitude for the immediate enjoyment of her little ones and for their having instantly all the liberty and attendance all the eating and drinking and sleeping and playing which they could possibly wish for without the smallest delay the children were never allowed to be long a disturbance to him either in themselves or in any restless attendance on them {para} Mrs John Knightley was a pretty elegant little woman of gentle quiet manners and a disposition remarkably amiable and affectionate wrapt up in her family a devoted wife a doating mother and so tenderly attached to her father and sister that but for these higher ties a warmer love might have seemed impossible She could never see a fault in any of them She was not a woman of strong understanding or any quickness and with this resemblance of her father she inherited also much of his constitution was delicate in her own health over careful of that of her children had many fears and many nerves and was as fond of her own Mr Wingfield in town as her father could be of Mr Perry They were alike too in a general benevolence of temper and a strong habit of regard for every old acquaintance {para} Mr John Knightley was a tall gentleman like and very clever man rising in his profession domestic and respectable in his private character but with reserved manners which prevented his being generally pleasing and capable of being sometimes out of humour He was not an ill tempered man not so often unreasonably cross as to deserve such a reproach but his temper was not his great perfection and indeed with such a worshipping wife it was hardly possible that any natural defects in it should not be increased The extreme sweetness of her temper must hurt his He had all the clearness and quickness of mind which she wanted and he could sometimes act an ungracious or say a severe thing {para} He was not a great favourite with his fair sister in law Nothing wrong in him escaped her She was quick in feeling the little injuries to Isabella which Isabella never felt herself Perhaps she might have passed over more had his manners been flattering to Isabella 's sister but they were only those of a calmly kind brother and friend without praise and without blindness but hardly any degree of personal compliment could have made her regardless of that greatest fault of all in her eyes which he sometimes fell into the want of respectful forbearance towards her father There he had not always the patience that could have been wished Mr Woodhouse 's peculiarities and fidgetiness were sometimes provoking him to a rational remonstrance or sharp retort equally ill bestowed It did not often happen for Mr John Knightley had really a great regard for his father in law and generally a strong sense of what was due to him but it was too often for Emma 's charity especially as there was all the pain of apprehension frequently to be endured though the offence came not The beginning however of every visit displayed none but the properest feelings and this being of necessity so short might be hoped to pass away in unsullied cordiality They had not been long seated and composed when Mr Woodhouse with a melancholy shake of the head and a sigh called his daughter 's attention to the sad change at Hartfield since she had been there last {para} Ah my dear said he poor Miss Taylor It is a grievous business {para} Oh yes sir cried she with ready sympathy how you must miss her And dear Emma too What a dreadful loss to you both I have been so grieved for you I could not imagine how you could possibly do without her It is a sad change indeed But I hope she is pretty well sir {para} Pretty well my dear I hope pretty well I do not know but that the place agrees with her tolerably {para} Mr John Knightley here asked Emma quietly whether there were any doubts of the air of Randalls {para} Oh no none in the least I never saw Mrs Weston better in my life never looking so well Papa is only speaking his own regret {para} Very much to the honour of both was the handsome reply {para} And do you see her sir tolerably often asked Isabella in the plaintive tone which just suited her father {para} Mr Woodhouse hesitated Not near so often my dear as I could wish {para} Oh papa we have missed seeing them but one entire day since they married Either in the morning or evening of every day excepting one have we seen either Mr Weston or Mrs Weston and generally both either at Randalls or here and as you may suppose Isabella most frequently here They are very very kind in their visits Mr Weston is really as kind as herself Papa if you speak in that melancholy way you will be giving Isabella a false idea of us all Every body must be aware that Miss Taylor must be missed but every body ought also to be assured that Mr and Mrs Weston do really prevent our missing her by any means to the extent we ourselves anticipated which is the exact truth {para} Just as it should be said Mr John Knightley and just as I hoped it was from your letters Her wish of shewing you attention could not be doubted and his being a disengaged and social man makes it all easy I have been always telling you my love that I had no idea of the change being so very material to Hartfield as you apprehended and now you have Emma 's account I hope you will be satisfied {para} Why to be sure said Mr Woodhouse yes certainly I cannot deny that Mrs Weston poor Mrs Weston does come and see us pretty often but then she is always obliged to go away again {para} It would be very hard upon Mr Weston if she did not papa You quite forget poor Mr Weston {para} I think indeed said John Knightley pleasantly that Mr Weston has some little claim You and I Emma will venture to take the part of the poor husband I being a husband and you not being a wife the claims of the man may very likely strike us with equal force As for Isabella she has been married long enough to see the convenience of putting all the Mr Westons aside as much as she can {para} Me my love cried his wife hearing and understanding only in part Are you talking about me I am sure nobody ought to be or can be a greater advocate for matrimony than I am and if it had not been for the misery of her leaving Hartfield I should never have thought of Miss Taylor but as the most fortunate woman in the world and as to slighting Mr Weston that excellent Mr Weston I think there is nothing he does not deserve I believe he is one of the very best tempered men that ever existed Excepting yourself and your brother I do not know his equal for temper I shall never forget his flying Henry 's kite for him that very windy day last Easter and ever since his particular kindness last September twelvemonth in writing that note at twelve o'clock at night on purpose to assure me that there was no scarlet fever at Cobham I have been convinced there could not be a more feeling heart nor a better man in existence If any body can deserve him it must be Miss Taylor {para} Where is the young man said John Knightley Has he been here on this occasion or has he not {para} He has not been here yet replied Emma There was a strong expectation of his coming soon after the marriage but it ended in nothing and I have not heard him mentioned lately {para} But you should tell them of the letter my dear said her father He wrote a letter to poor Mrs Weston to congratulate her and a very proper handsome letter it was She shewed it to me I thought it very well done of him indeed Whether it was his own idea you know one cannot tell He is but young and his uncle perhaps {para} My dear papa he is three and twenty You forget how time passes {para} Three and twenty is he indeed Well I could not have thought it and he was but two years old when he lost his poor mother Well time does fly indeed and my memory is very bad However it was an exceeding good pretty letter and gave Mr and Mrs Weston a great deal of pleasure I remember it was written from Weymouth and dated Sept 28th and began My dear Madam but I forget how it went on and it was signed F C Weston Churchill I remember that perfectly {para} How very pleasing and proper of him cried the good hearted Mrs John Knightley I have no doubt of his being a most amiable young man But how sad it is that he should not live at home with his father There is something so shocking in a child 's being taken away from his parents and natural home I never could comprehend how Mr Weston could part with him To give up one 's child I really never could think well of any body who proposed such a thing to any body else {para} Nobody ever did think well of the Churchills I fancy observed Mr John Knightley coolly But you need not imagine Mr Weston to have felt what you would feel in giving up Henry or John Mr Weston is rather an easy cheerful tempered man than a man of strong feelings he takes things as he finds them and makes enjoyment of them somehow or other depending I suspect much more upon what is called society for his comforts that is upon the power of eating and drinking and playing whist with his neighbours five times a week than upon family affection or any thing that home affords {para} Emma could not like what bordered on a reflection on Mr Weston and had half a mind to take it up but she struggled and let it pass She would keep the peace if possible and there was something honourable and valuable in the strong domestic habits the all sufficiency of home to himself whence resulted her brother 's disposition to look down on the common rate of social intercourse and those to whom it was important It had a high claim to forbearance {para} CHAPTER XII {para} Mr Knightley was to dine with them rather against the inclination of Mr Woodhouse who did not like that any one should share with him in Isabella 's first day Emma 's sense of right however had decided it and besides the consideration of what was due to each brother she had particular pleasure from the circumstance of the late disagreement between Mr Knightley and herself in procuring him the proper invitation {para} She hoped they might now become friends again She thought it was time to make up Making up indeed would not do She certainly had not been in the wrong and he would never own that he had Concession must be out of the question but it was time to appear to forget that they had ever quarrelled and she hoped it might rather assist the restoration of friendship that when he came into the room she had one of the children with her the youngest a nice little girl about eight months old who was now making her first visit to Hartfield and very happy to be danced about in her aunt 's arms It did assist for though he began with grave looks and short questions he was soon led on to talk of them all in the usual way and to take the child out of her arms with all the unceremoniousness of perfect amity Emma felt they were friends again and the conviction giving her at first great satisfaction and then a little sauciness she could not help saying as he was admiring the baby {para} What a comfort it is that we think alike about our nephews and nieces As to men and women our opinions are sometimes very different but with regard to these children I observe we never disagree {para} If you were as much guided by nature in your estimate of men and women and as little under the power of fancy and whim in your dealings with them as you are where these children are concerned we might always think alike {para} To be sure our discordancies must always arise from my being in the wrong {para} Yes said he smiling and reason good I was sixteen years old when you were born {para} A material difference then she replied and no doubt you were much my superior in judgment at that period of our lives but does not the lapse of one and twenty years bring our understandings a good deal nearer {para} Yes a good deal nearer {para} But still not near enough to give me a chance of being right if we think differently {para} I have still the advantage of you by sixteen years experience and by not being a pretty young woman and a spoiled child Come my dear Emma let us be friends and say no more about it Tell your aunt little Emma that she ought to set you a better example than to be renewing old grievances and that if she were not wrong before she is now {para} That 's true she cried very true Little Emma grow up a better woman than your aunt Be infinitely cleverer and not half so conceited Now Mr Knightley a word or two more and I have done As far as good intentions went we were both right and I must say that no effects on my side of the argument have yet proved wrong I only want to know that Mr Martin is not very very bitterly disappointed {para} A man cannot be more so was his short full answer {para} Ah Indeed I am very sorry Come shake hands with me {para} This had just taken place and with great cordiality when John Knightley made his appearance and How d'ye do George and John how are you succeeded in the true English style burying under a calmness that seemed all but indifference the real attachment which would have led either of them if requisite to do every thing for the good of the other {para} The evening was quiet and conversable as Mr Woodhouse declined cards entirely for the sake of comfortable talk with his dear Isabella and the little party made two natural divisions on one side he and his daughter on the other the two Mr Knightleys their subjects totally distinct or very rarely mixing and Emma only occasionally joining in one or the other {para} The brothers talked of their own concerns and pursuits but principally of those of the elder whose temper was by much the most communicative and who was always the greater talker As a magistrate he had generally some point of law to consult John about or at least some curious anecdote to give and as a farmer as keeping in hand the home farm at Donwell he had to tell what every field was to bear next year and to give all such local information as could not fail of being interesting to a brother whose home it had equally been the longest part of his life and whose attachments were strong The plan of a drain the change of a fence the felling of a tree and the destination of every acre for wheat turnips or spring corn was entered into with as much equality of interest by John as his cooler manners rendered possible and if his willing brother ever left him any thing to inquire about his inquiries even approached a tone of eagerness {para} While they were thus comfortably occupied Mr Woodhouse was enjoying a full flow of happy regrets and fearful affection with his daughter {para} My poor dear Isabella said he fondly taking her hand and interrupting for a few moments her busy labours for some one of her five children How long it is how terribly long since you were here And how tired you must be after your journey You must go to bed early my dear and I recommend a little gruel to you before you go You and I will have a nice basin of gruel together My dear Emma suppose we all have a little gruel {para} Emma could not suppose any such thing knowing as she did that both the Mr Knightleys were as unpersuadable on that article as herself and two basins only were ordered After a little more discourse in praise of gruel with some wondering at its not being taken every evening by every body he proceeded to say with an air of grave reflection {para} It was an awkward business my dear your spending the autumn at South End instead of coming here I never had much opinion of the sea air {para} Mr Wingfield most strenuously recommended it sir or we should not have gone He recommended it for all the children but particularly for the weakness in little Bella 's throat both sea air and bathing {para} Ah my dear but Perry had many doubts about the sea doing her any good and as to myself I have been long perfectly convinced though perhaps I never told you so before that the sea is very rarely of use to any body I am sure it almost killed me once {para} Come come cried Emma feeling this to be an unsafe subject I must beg you not to talk of the sea It makes me envious and miserable I who have never seen it South End is prohibited if you please My dear Isabella I have not heard you make one inquiry about Mr Perry yet and he never forgets you {para} Oh good Mr Perry how is he sir {para} Why pretty well but not quite well Poor Perry is bilious and he has not time to take care of himself he tells me he has not time to take care of himself which is very sad but he is always wanted all round the country I suppose there is not a man in such practice anywhere But then there is not so clever a man any where {para} And Mrs Perry and the children how are they do the children grow I have a great regard for Mr Perry I hope he will be calling soon He will be so pleased to see my little ones {para} I hope he will be here to morrow for I have a question or two to ask him about myself of some consequence And my dear whenever he comes you had better let him look at little Bella 's throat {para} Oh my dear sir her throat is so much better that I have hardly any uneasiness about it Either bathing has been of the greatest service to her or else it is to be attributed to an excellent embrocation of Mr Wingfield 's which we have been applying at times ever since August {para} It is not very likely my dear that bathing should have been of use to her and if I had known you were wanting an embrocation I would have spoken to {para} You seem to me to have forgotten Mrs and Miss Bates said Emma I have not heard one inquiry after them {para} Oh the good Bateses I am quite ashamed of myself but you mention them in most of your letters I hope they are quite well Good old Mrs Bates I will call upon her to morrow and take my children They are always so pleased to see my children And that excellent Miss Bates such thorough worthy people How are they sir {para} Why pretty well my dear upon the whole But poor Mrs Bates had a bad cold about a month ago {para} How sorry I am But colds were never so prevalent as they have been this autumn Mr Wingfield told me that he has never known them more general or heavy except when it has been quite an influenza {para} That has been a good deal the case my dear but not to the degree you mention Perry says that colds have been very general but not so heavy as he has very often known them in November Perry does not call it altogether a sickly season {para} No I do not know that Mr Wingfield considers it very sickly except {para} Ah my poor dear child the truth is that in London it is always a sickly season Nobody is healthy in London nobody can be It is a dreadful thing to have you forced to live there so far off and the air so bad {para} No indeed we are not at all in a bad air Our part of London is very superior to most others You must not confound us with London in general my dear sir The neighbourhood of Brunswick Square is very different from almost all the rest We are so very airy I should be unwilling I own to live in any other part of the town there is hardly any other that I could be satisfied to have my children in but we are so remarkably airy Mr Wingfield thinks the vicinity of Brunswick Square decidedly the most favourable as to air {para} Ah my dear it is not like Hartfield You make the best of it but after you have been a week at Hartfield you are all of you different creatures you do not look like the same Now I cannot say that I think you are any of you looking well at present {para} I am sorry to hear you say so sir but I assure you excepting those little nervous head aches and palpitations which I am never entirely free from anywhere I am quite well myself and if the children were rather pale before they went to bed it was only because they were a little more tired than usual from their journey and the happiness of coming I hope you will think better of their looks to morrow for I assure you Mr Wingfield told me that he did not believe he had ever sent us off altogether in such good case I trust at least that you do not think Mr Knightley looking ill turning her eyes with affectionate anxiety towards her husband {para} Middling my dear I cannot compliment you I think Mr John Knightley very far from looking well {para} What is the matter sir Did you speak to me cried Mr John Knightley hearing his own name {para} I am sorry to find my love that my father does not think you looking well but I hope it is only from being a little fatigued I could have wished however as you know that you had seen Mr Wingfield before you left home {para} My dear Isabella exclaimed he hastily pray do not concern yourself about my looks Be satisfied with doctoring and coddling yourself and the children and let me look as I chuse {para} I did not thoroughly understand what you were telling your brother cried Emma about your friend Mr Graham 's intending to have a bailiff from Scotland to look after his new estate What will it answer Will not the old prejudice be too strong {para} And she talked in this way so long and successfully that when forced to give her attention again to her father and sister she had nothing worse to hear than Isabella 's kind inquiry after Jane Fairfax and Jane Fairfax though no great favourite with her in general she was at that moment very happy to assist in praising {para} That sweet amiable Jane Fairfax said Mrs John Knightley It is so long since I have seen her except now and then for a moment accidentally in town What happiness it must be to her good old grandmother and excellent aunt when she comes to visit them I always regret excessively on dear Emma 's account that she cannot be more at Highbury but now their daughter is married I suppose Colonel and Mrs Campbell will not be able to part with her at all She would be such a delightful companion for Emma {para} Mr Woodhouse agreed to it all but added {para} Our little friend Harriet Smith however is just such another pretty kind of young person You will like Harriet Emma could not have a better companion than Harriet {para} I am most happy to hear it but only Jane Fairfax one knows to be so very accomplished and superior and exactly Emma 's age {para} This topic was discussed very happily and others succeeded of similar moment and passed away with similar harmony but the evening did not close without a little return of agitation The gruel came and supplied a great deal to be said much praise and many comments undoubting decision of its wholesomeness for every constitution and pretty severe Philippics upon the many houses where it was never met with tolerable but unfortunately among the failures which the daughter had to instance the most recent and therefore most prominent was in her own cook at South End a young woman hired for the time who never had been able to understand what she meant by a basin of nice smooth gruel thin but not too thin Often as she had wished for and ordered it she had never been able to get any thing tolerable Here was a dangerous opening {para} Ah said Mr Woodhouse shaking his head and fixing his eyes on her with tender concern The ejaculation in Emma 's ear expressed Ah there is no end of the sad consequences of your going to South End It does not bear talking of And for a little while she hoped he would not talk of it and that a silent rumination might suffice to restore him to the relish of his own smooth gruel After an interval of some minutes however he began with {para} I shall always be very sorry that you went to the sea this autumn instead of coming here {para} But why should you be sorry sir I assure you it did the children a great deal of good {para} And moreover if you must go to the sea it had better not have been to South End South End is an unhealthy place Perry was surprized to hear you had fixed upon South End {para} I know there is such an idea with many people but indeed it is quite a mistake sir We all had our health perfectly well there never found the least inconvenience from the mud and Mr Wingfield says it is entirely a mistake to suppose the place unhealthy and I am sure he may be depended on for he thoroughly understands the nature of the air and his own brother and family have been there repeatedly {para} You should have gone to Cromer my dear if you went anywhere Perry was a week at Cromer once and he holds it to be the best of all the sea bathing places A fine open sea he says and very pure air And by what I understand you might have had lodgings there quite away from the sea a quarter of a mile off very comfortable You should have consulted Perry {para} But my dear sir the difference of the journey only consider how great it would have been An hundred miles perhaps instead of forty {para} Ah my dear as Perry says where health is at stake nothing else should be considered and if one is to travel there is not much to chuse between forty miles and an hundred Better not move at all better stay in London altogether than travel forty miles to get into a worse air This is just what Perry said It seemed to him a very ill judged measure {para} Emma 's attempts to stop her father had been vain and when he had reached such a point as this she could not wonder at her brother in law 's breaking out {para} Mr Perry said he in a voice of very strong displeasure would do as well to keep his opinion till it is asked for Why does he make it any business of his to wonder at what I do at my taking my family to one part of the coast or another I may be allowed I hope the use of my judgment as well as Mr Perry I want his directions no more than his drugs He paused and growing cooler in a moment added with only sarcastic dryness If Mr Perry can tell me how to convey a wife and five children a distance of an hundred and thirty miles with no greater expense or inconvenience than a distance of forty I should be as willing to prefer Cromer to South End as he could himself {para} True true cried Mr Knightley with most ready interposition very true That 's a consideration indeed But John as to what I was telling you of my idea of moving the path to Langham of turning it more to the right that it may not cut through the home meadows I cannot conceive any difficulty I should not attempt it if it were to be the means of inconvenience to the Highbury people but if you call to mind exactly the present line of the path The only way of proving it however will be to turn to our maps I shall see you at the Abbey to morrow morning I hope and then we will look them over and you shall give me your opinion {para} Mr Woodhouse was rather agitated by such harsh reflections on his friend Perry to whom he had in fact though unconsciously been attributing many of his own feelings and expressions but the soothing attentions of his daughters gradually removed the present evil and the immediate alertness of one brother and better recollections of the other prevented any renewal of it {para} CHAPTER XIII {para} There could hardly be a happier creature in the world than Mrs John Knightley in this short visit to Hartfield going about every morning among her old acquaintance with her five children and talking over what she had done every evening with her father and sister She had nothing to wish otherwise but that the days did not pass so swiftly It was a delightful visit perfect in being much too short {para} In general their evenings were less engaged with friends than their mornings but one complete dinner engagement and out of the house too there was no avoiding though at Christmas Mr Weston would take no denial they must all dine at Randalls one day even Mr Woodhouse was persuaded to think it a possible thing in preference to a division of the party {para} How they were all to be conveyed he would have made a difficulty if he could but as his son and daughter 's carriage and horses were actually at Hartfield he was not able to make more than a simple question on that head it hardly amounted to a doubt nor did it occupy Emma long to convince him that they might in one of the carriages find room for Harriet also {para} Harriet Mr Elton and Mr Knightley their own especial set were the only persons invited to meet them the hours were to be early as well as the numbers few Mr Woodhouse 's habits and inclination being consulted in every thing {para} The evening before this great event for it was a very great event that Mr Woodhouse should dine out on the 24th of December had been spent by Harriet at Hartfield and she had gone home so much indisposed with a cold that but for her own earnest wish of being nursed by Mrs Goddard Emma could not have allowed her to leave the house Emma called on her the next day and found her doom already signed with regard to Randalls She was very feverish and had a bad sore throat Mrs Goddard was full of care and affection Mr Perry was talked of and Harriet herself was too ill and low to resist the authority which excluded her from this delightful engagement though she could not speak of her loss without many tears {para} Emma sat with her as long as she could to attend her in Mrs Goddard 's unavoidable absences and raise her spirits by representing how much Mr Elton 's would be depressed when he knew her state and left her at last tolerably comfortable in the sweet dependence of his having a most comfortless visit and of their all missing her very much She had not advanced many yards from Mrs Goddard 's door when she was met by Mr Elton himself evidently coming towards it and as they walked on slowly together in conversation about the invalid of whom he on the rumour of considerable illness had been going to inquire that he might carry some report of her to Hartfield they were overtaken by Mr John Knightley returning from the daily visit to Donwell with his two eldest boys whose healthy glowing faces shewed all the benefit of a country run and seemed to ensure a quick despatch of the roast mutton and rice pudding they were hastening home for They joined company and proceeded together Emma was just describing the nature of her friend 's complaint a throat very much inflamed with a great deal of heat about her a quick low pulse &c and she was sorry to find from Mrs Goddard that Harriet was liable to very bad sore throats and had often alarmed her with them Mr Elton looked all alarm on the occasion as he exclaimed {para} A sore throat I hope not infectious I hope not of a putrid infectious sort Has Perry seen her Indeed you should take care of yourself as well as of your friend Let me entreat you to run no risks Why does not Perry see her {para} Emma who was not really at all frightened herself tranquillised this excess of apprehension by assurances of Mrs Goddard 's experience and care but as there must still remain a degree of uneasiness which she could not wish to reason away which she would rather feed and assist than not she added soon afterwards as if quite another subject {para} It is so cold so very cold and looks and feels so very much like snow that if it were to any other place or with any other party I should really try not to go out to day and dissuade my father from venturing but as he has made up his mind and does not seem to feel the cold himself I do not like to interfere as I know it would be so great a disappointment to Mr and Mrs Weston But upon my word Mr Elton in your case I should certainly excuse myself You appear to me a little hoarse already and when you consider what demand of voice and what fatigues to morrow will bring I think it would be no more than common prudence to stay at home and take care of yourself to night {para} Mr Elton looked as if he did not very well know what answer to make which was exactly the case for though very much gratified by the kind care of such a fair lady and not liking to resist any advice of her 's he had not really the least inclination to give up the visit but Emma too eager and busy in her own previous conceptions and views to hear him impartially or see him with clear vision was very well satisfied with his muttering acknowledgment of its being very cold certainly very cold and walked on rejoicing in having extricated him from Randalls and secured him the power of sending to inquire after Harriet every hour of the evening {para} You do quite right said she we will make your apologies to Mr and Mrs Weston {para} But hardly had she so spoken when she found her brother was civilly offering a seat in his carriage if the weather were Mr Elton 's only objection and Mr Elton actually accepting the offer with much prompt satisfaction It was a done thing Mr Elton was to go and never had his broad handsome face expressed more pleasure than at this moment never had his smile been stronger nor his eyes more exulting than when he next looked at her {para} Well said she to herself this is most strange After I had got him off so well to chuse to go into company and leave Harriet ill behind Most strange indeed But there is I believe in many men especially single men such an inclination such a passion for dining out a dinner engagement is so high in the class of their pleasures their employments their dignities almost their duties that any thing gives way to it and this must be the case with Mr Elton a most valuable amiable pleasing young man undoubtedly and very much in love with Harriet but still he cannot refuse an invitation he must dine out wherever he is asked What a strange thing love is he can see ready wit in Harriet but will not dine alone for her {para} Soon afterwards Mr Elton quitted them and she could not but do him the justice of feeling that there was a great deal of sentiment in his manner of naming Harriet at parting in the tone of his voice while assuring her that he should call at Mrs Goddard 's for news of her fair friend the last thing before he prepared for the happiness of meeting her again when he hoped to be able to give a better report and he sighed and smiled himself off in a way that left the balance of approbation much in his favour {para} After a few minutes of entire silence between them John Knightley began with {para} I never in my life saw a man more intent on being agreeable than Mr Elton It is downright labour to him where ladies are concerned With men he can be rational and unaffected but when he has ladies to please every feature works {para} Mr Elton 's manners are not perfect replied Emma but where there is a wish to please one ought to overlook and one does overlook a great deal Where a man does his best with only moderate powers he will have the advantage over negligent superiority There is such perfect good temper and good will in Mr Elton as one cannot but value {para} Yes said Mr John Knightley presently with some slyness he seems to have a great deal of good will towards you {para} Me she replied with a smile of astonishment are you imagining me to be Mr Elton 's object {para} Such an imagination has crossed me I own Emma and if it never occurred to you before you may as well take it into consideration now {para} Mr Elton in love with me What an idea {para} I do not say it is so but you will do well to consider whether it is so or not and to regulate your behaviour accordingly I think your manners to him encouraging I speak as a friend Emma You had better look about you and ascertain what you do and what you mean to do {para} I thank you but I assure you you are quite mistaken Mr Elton and I are very good friends and nothing more and she walked on amusing herself in the consideration of the blunders which often arise from a partial knowledge of circumstances of the mistakes which people of high pretensions to judgment are for ever falling into and not very well pleased with her brother for imagining her blind and ignorant and in want of counsel He said no more {para} Mr Woodhouse had so completely made up his mind to the visit that in spite of the increasing coldness he seemed to have no idea of shrinking from it and set forward at last most punctually with his eldest daughter in his own carriage with less apparent consciousness of the weather than either of the others too full of the wonder of his own going and the pleasure it was to afford at Randalls to see that it was cold and too well wrapt up to feel it The cold however was severe and by the time the second carriage was in motion a few flakes of snow were finding their way down and the sky had the appearance of being so overcharged as to want only a milder air to produce a very white world in a very short time {para} Emma soon saw that her companion was not in the happiest humour The preparing and the going abroad in such weather with the sacrifice of his children after dinner were evils were disagreeables at least which Mr John Knightley did not by any means like he anticipated nothing in the visit that could be at all worth the purchase and the whole of their drive to the vicarage was spent by him in expressing his discontent {para} A man said he must have a very good opinion of himself when he asks people to leave their own fireside and encounter such a day as this for the sake of coming to see him He must think himself a most agreeable fellow I could not do such a thing It is the greatest absurdity Actually snowing at this moment The folly of not allowing people to be comfortable at home and the folly of people 's not staying comfortably at home when they can If we were obliged to go out such an evening as this by any call of duty or business what a hardship we should deem it and here are we probably with rather thinner clothing than usual setting forward voluntarily without excuse in defiance of the voice of nature which tells man in every thing given to his view or his feelings to stay at home himself and keep all under shelter that he can here are we setting forward to spend five dull hours in another man 's house with nothing to say or to hear that was not said and heard yesterday and may not be said and heard again to morrow Going in dismal weather to return probably in worse four horses and four servants taken out for nothing but to convey five idle shivering creatures into colder rooms and worse company than they might have had at home {para} Emma did not find herself equal to give the pleased assent which no doubt he was in the habit of receiving to emulate the Very true my love which must have been usually administered by his travelling companion but she had resolution enough to refrain from making any answer at all She could not be complying she dreaded being quarrelsome her heroism reached only to silence She allowed him to talk and arranged the glasses and wrapped herself up without opening her lips {para} They arrived the carriage turned the step was let down and Mr Elton spruce black and smiling was with them instantly Emma thought with pleasure of some change of subject Mr Elton was all obligation and cheerfulness he was so very cheerful in his civilities indeed that she began to think he must have received a different account of Harriet from what had reached her She had sent while dressing and the answer had been Much the same not better {para} My report from Mrs Goddard 's said she presently was not so pleasant as I had hoped Not better was my answer {para} His face lengthened immediately and his voice was the voice of sentiment as he answered {para} Oh no I am grieved to find I was on the point of telling you that when I called at Mrs Goddard 's door which I did the very last thing before I returned to dress I was told that Miss Smith was not better by no means better rather worse Very much grieved and concerned I had flattered myself that she must be better after such a cordial as I knew had been given her in the morning {para} Emma smiled and answered My visit was of use to the nervous part of her complaint I hope but not even I can charm away a sore throat it is a most severe cold indeed Mr Perry has been with her as you probably heard {para} Yes I imagined that is I did not {para} He has been used to her in these complaints and I hope to morrow morning will bring us both a more comfortable report But it is impossible not to feel uneasiness Such a sad loss to our party to day {para} Dreadful Exactly so indeed She will be missed every moment {para} This was very proper the sigh which accompanied it was really estimable but it should have lasted longer Emma was rather in dismay when only half a minute afterwards he began to speak of other things and in a voice of the greatest alacrity and enjoyment {para} What an excellent device said he the use of a sheepskin for carriages How very comfortable they make it impossible to feel cold with such precautions The contrivances of modern days indeed have rendered a gentleman 's carriage perfectly complete One is so fenced and guarded from the weather that not a breath of air can find its way unpermitted Weather becomes absolutely of no consequence It is a very cold afternoon but in this carriage we know nothing of the matter Ha snows a little I see {para} Yes said John Knightley and I think we shall have a good deal of it {para} Christmas weather observed Mr Elton Quite seasonable and extremely fortunate we may think ourselves that it did not begin yesterday and prevent this day 's party which it might very possibly have done for Mr Woodhouse would hardly have ventured had there been much snow on the ground but now it is of no consequence This is quite the season indeed for friendly meetings At Christmas every body invites their friends about them and people think little of even the worst weather I was snowed up at a friend 's house once for a week Nothing could be pleasanter I went for only one night and could not get away till that very day se'nnight {para} Mr John Knightley looked as if he did not comprehend the pleasure but said only coolly {para} I cannot wish to be snowed up a week at Randalls {para} At another time Emma might have been amused but she was too much astonished now at Mr Elton 's spirits for other feelings Harriet seemed quite forgotten in the expectation of a pleasant party {para} We are sure of excellent fires continued he and every thing in the greatest comfort Charming people Mr and Mrs Weston Mrs Weston indeed is much beyond praise and he is exactly what one values so hospitable and so fond of society it will be a small party but where small parties are select they are perhaps the most agreeable of any Mr Weston 's dining room does not accommodate more than ten comfortably and for my part I would rather under such circumstances fall short by two than exceed by two I think you will agree with me turning with a soft air to Emma I think I shall certainly have your approbation though Mr Knightley perhaps from being used to the large parties of London may not quite enter into our feelings {para} I know nothing of the large parties of London sir I never dine with any body {para} Indeed in a tone of wonder and pity I had no idea that the law had been so great a slavery Well sir the time must come when you will be paid for all this when you will have little labour and great enjoyment {para} My first enjoyment replied John Knightley as they passed through the sweep gate will be to find myself safe at Hartfield again {para} CHAPTER XIV {para} Some change of countenance was necessary for each gentleman as they walked into Mrs Weston 's drawing room Mr Elton must compose his joyous looks and Mr John Knightley disperse his ill humour Mr Elton must smile less and Mr John Knightley more to fit them for the place Emma only might be as nature prompted and shew herself just as happy as she was To her it was real enjoyment to be with the Westons Mr Weston was a great favourite and there was not a creature in the world to whom she spoke with such unreserve as to his wife not any one to whom she related with such conviction of being listened to and understood of being always interesting and always intelligible the little affairs arrangements perplexities and pleasures of her father and herself She could tell nothing of Hartfield in which Mrs Weston had not a lively concern and half an hour 's uninterrupted communication of all those little matters on which the daily happiness of private life depends was one of the first gratifications of each {para} This was a pleasure which perhaps the whole day 's visit might not afford which certainly did not belong to the present half hour but the very sight of Mrs Weston her smile her touch her voice was grateful to Emma and she determined to think as little as possible of Mr Elton 's oddities or of any thing else unpleasant and enjoy all that was enjoyable to the utmost {para} The misfortune of Harriet 's cold had been pretty well gone through before her arrival Mr Woodhouse had been safely seated long enough to give the history of it besides all the history of his own and Isabella 's coming and of Emma 's being to follow and had indeed just got to the end of his satisfaction that James should come and see his daughter when the others appeared and Mrs Weston who had been almost wholly engrossed by her attentions to him was able to turn away and welcome her dear Emma {para} Emma 's project of forgetting Mr Elton for a while made her rather sorry to find when they had all taken their places that he was close to her The difficulty was great of driving his strange insensibility towards Harriet from her mind while he not only sat at her elbow but was continually obtruding his happy countenance on her notice and solicitously addressing her upon every occasion Instead of forgetting him his behaviour was such that she could not avoid the internal suggestion of Can it really be as my brother imagined can it be possible for this man to be beginning to transfer his affections from Harriet to me Absurd and insufferable Yet he would be so anxious for her being perfectly warm would be so interested about her father and so delighted with Mrs Weston and at last would begin admiring her drawings with so much zeal and so little knowledge as seemed terribly like a would be lover and made it some effort with her to preserve her good manners For her own sake she could not be rude and for Harriet 's in the hope that all would yet turn out right she was even positively civil but it was an effort especially as something was going on amongst the others in the most overpowering period of Mr Elton 's nonsense which she particularly wished to listen to She heard enough to know that Mr Weston was giving some information about his son she heard the words my son and Frank and my son repeated several times over and from a few other half syllables very much suspected that he was announcing an early visit from his son but before she could quiet Mr Elton the subject was so completely past that any reviving question from her would have been awkward {para} Now it so happened that in spite of Emma 's resolution of never marrying there was something in the name in the idea of Mr Frank Churchill which always interested her She had frequently thought especially since his father 's marriage with Miss Taylor that if she were to marry he was the very person to suit her in age character and condition He seemed by this connexion between the families quite to belong to her She could not but suppose it to be a match that every body who knew them must think of That Mr and Mrs Weston did think of it she was very strongly persuaded and though not meaning to be induced by him or by any body else to give up a situation which she believed more replete with good than any she could change it for she had a great curiosity to see him a decided intention of finding him pleasant of being liked by him to a certain degree and a sort of pleasure in the idea of their being coupled in their friends imaginations {para} With such sensations Mr Elton 's civilities were dreadfully ill timed but she had the comfort of appearing very polite while feeling very cross and of thinking that the rest of the visit could not possibly pass without bringing forward the same information again or the substance of it from the open hearted Mr Weston So it proved for when happily released from Mr Elton and seated by Mr Weston at dinner he made use of the very first interval in the cares of hospitality the very first leisure from the saddle of mutton to say to her {para} We want only two more to be just the right number I should like to see two more here your pretty little friend Miss Smith and my son and then I should say we were quite complete I believe you did not hear me telling the others in the drawing room that we are expecting Frank I had a letter from him this morning and he will be with us within a fortnight {para} Emma spoke with a very proper degree of pleasure and fully assented to his proposition of Mr Frank Churchill and Miss Smith making their party quite complete {para} He has been wanting to come to us continued Mr Weston ever since September every letter has been full of it but he cannot command his own time He has those to please who must be pleased and who between ourselves are sometimes to be pleased only by a good many sacrifices But now I have no doubt of seeing him here about the second week in January {para} What a very great pleasure it will be to you and Mrs Weston is so anxious to be acquainted with him that she must be almost as happy as yourself {para} Yes she would be but that she thinks there will be another put off She does not depend upon his coming so much as I do but she does not know the parties so well as I do The case you see is but this is quite between ourselves I did not mention a syllable of it in the other room There are secrets in all families you know The case is that a party of friends are invited to pay a visit at Enscombe in January and that Frank 's coming depends upon their being put off If they are not put off he cannot stir But I know they will because it is a family that a certain lady of some consequence at Enscombe has a particular dislike to and though it is thought necessary to invite them once in two or three years they always are put off when it comes to the point I have not the smallest doubt of the issue I am as confident of seeing Frank here before the middle of January as I am of being here myself but your good friend there nodding towards the upper end of the table has so few vagaries herself and has been so little used to them at Hartfield that she cannot calculate on their effects as I have been long in the practice of doing {para} I am sorry there should be any thing like doubt in the case replied Emma but am disposed to side with you Mr Weston If you think he will come I shall think so too for you know Enscombe {para} Yes I have some right to that knowledge though I have never been at the place in my life She is an odd woman But I never allow myself to speak ill of her on Frank 's account for I do believe her to be very fond of him I used to think she was not capable of being fond of any body except herself but she has always been kind to him in her way allowing for little whims and caprices and expecting every thing to be as she likes And it is no small credit in my opinion to him that he should excite such an affection for though I would not say it to any body else she has no more heart than a stone to people in general and the devil of a temper {para} Emma liked the subject so well that she began upon it to Mrs Weston very soon after their moving into the drawing room wishing her joy yet observing that she knew the first meeting must be rather alarming Mrs Weston agreed to it but added that she should be very glad to be secure of undergoing the anxiety of a first meeting at the time talked of for I cannot depend upon his coming I cannot be so sanguine as Mr Weston I am very much afraid that it will all end in nothing Mr Weston I dare say has been telling you exactly how the matter stands {para} Yes it seems to depend upon nothing but the ill humour of Mrs Churchill which I imagine to be the most certain thing in the world {para} My Emma replied Mrs Weston smiling what is the certainty of caprice Then turning to Isabella who had not been attending before You must know my dear Mrs Knightley that we are by no means so sure of seeing Mr Frank Churchill in my opinion as his father thinks It depends entirely upon his aunt 's spirits and pleasure in short upon her temper To you to my two daughters I may venture on the truth Mrs Churchill rules at Enscombe and is a very odd tempered woman and his coming now depends upon her being willing to spare him {para} Oh Mrs Churchill every body knows Mrs Churchill replied Isabella and I am sure I never think of that poor young man without the greatest compassion To be constantly living with an ill tempered person must be dreadful It is what we happily have never known any thing of but it must be a life of misery What a blessing that she never had any children Poor little creatures how unhappy she would have made them {para} Emma wished she had been alone with Mrs Weston She should then have heard more Mrs Weston would speak to her with a degree of unreserve which she would not hazard with Isabella and she really believed would scarcely try to conceal any thing relative to the Churchills from her excepting those views on the young man of which her own imagination had already given her such instinctive knowledge But at present there was nothing more to be said Mr Woodhouse very soon followed them into the drawing room To be sitting long after dinner was a confinement that he could not endure Neither wine nor conversation was any thing to him and gladly did he move to those with whom he was always comfortable {para} While he talked to Isabella however Emma found an opportunity of saying {para} And so you do not consider this visit from your son as by any means certain I am sorry for it The introduction must be unpleasant whenever it takes place and the sooner it could be over the better {para} Yes and every delay makes one more apprehensive of other delays Even if this family the Braithwaites are put off I am still afraid that some excuse may be found for disappointing us I cannot bear to imagine any reluctance on his side but I am sure there is a great wish on the Churchills to keep him to themselves There is jealousy They are jealous even of his regard for his father In short I can feel no dependence on his coming and I wish Mr Weston were less sanguine {para} He ought to come said Emma If he could stay only a couple of days he ought to come and one can hardly conceive a young man 's not having it in his power to do as much as that A young woman if she fall into bad hands may be teazed and kept at a distance from those she wants to be with but one cannot comprehend a young man 's being under such restraint as not to be able to spend a week with his father if he likes it {para} One ought to be at Enscombe and know the ways of the family before one decides upon what he can do replied Mrs Weston One ought to use the same caution perhaps in judging of the conduct of any one individual of any one family but Enscombe I believe certainly must not be judged by general rules she is so very unreasonable and every thing gives way to her {para} But she is so fond of the nephew he is so very great a favourite Now according to my idea of Mrs Churchill it would be most natural that while she makes no sacrifice for the comfort of the husband to whom she owes every thing while she exercises incessant caprice towards him she should frequently be governed by the nephew to whom she owes nothing at all {para} My dearest Emma do not pretend with your sweet temper to understand a bad one or to lay down rules for it you must let it go its own way I have no doubt of his having at times considerable influence but it may be perfectly impossible for him to know beforehand when it will be {para} Emma listened and then coolly said I shall not be satisfied unless he comes {para} He may have a great deal of influence on some points continued Mrs Weston and on others very little and among those on which she is beyond his reach it is but too likely may be this very circumstance of his coming away from them to visit us {para} CHAPTER XV {para} Mr Woodhouse was soon ready for his tea and when he had drank his tea he was quite ready to go home and it was as much as his three companions could do to entertain away his notice of the lateness of the hour before the other gentlemen appeared Mr Weston was chatty and convivial and no friend to early separations of any sort but at last the drawing room party did receive an augmentation Mr Elton in very good spirits was one of the first to walk in Mrs Weston and Emma were sitting together on a sofa He joined them immediately and with scarcely an invitation seated himself between them {para} Emma in good spirits too from the amusement afforded her mind by the expectation of Mr Frank Churchill was willing to forget his late improprieties and be as well satisfied with him as before and on his making Harriet his very first subject was ready to listen with most friendly smiles {para} He professed himself extremely anxious about her fair friend her fair lovely amiable friend Did she know had she heard any thing about her since their being at Randalls he felt much anxiety he must confess that the nature of her complaint alarmed him considerably And in this style he talked on for some time very properly not much attending to any answer but altogether sufficiently awake to the terror of a bad sore throat and Emma was quite in charity with him {para} But at last there seemed a perverse turn it seemed all at once as if he were more afraid of its being a bad sore throat on her account than on Harriet 's more anxious that she should escape the infection than that there should be no infection in the complaint He began with great earnestness to entreat her to refrain from visiting the sick chamber again for the present to entreat her to promise him not to venture into such hazard till he had seen Mr Perry and learnt his opinion and though she tried to laugh it off and bring the subject back into its proper course there was no putting an end to his extreme solicitude about her She was vexed It did appear there was no concealing it exactly like the pretence of being in love with her instead of Harriet an inconstancy if real the most contemptible and abominable and she had difficulty in behaving with temper He turned to Mrs Weston to implore her assistance Would not she give him her support would not she add her persuasions to his to induce Miss Woodhouse not to go to Mrs Goddard 's till it were certain that Miss Smith 's disorder had no infection He could not be satisfied without a promise would not she give him her influence in procuring it {para} So scrupulous for others he continued and yet so careless for herself She wanted me to nurse my cold by staying at home to day and yet will not promise to avoid the danger of catching an ulcerated sore throat herself Is this fair Mrs Weston Judge between us Have not I some right to complain I am sure of your kind support and aid {para} Emma saw Mrs Weston 's surprize and felt that it must be great at an address which in words and manner was assuming to himself the right of first interest in her and as for herself she was too much provoked and offended to have the power of directly saying any thing to the purpose She could only give him a look but it was such a look as she thought must restore him to his senses and then left the sofa removing to a seat by her sister and giving her all her attention {para} She had not time to know how Mr Elton took the reproof so rapidly did another subject succeed for Mr John Knightley now came into the room from examining the weather and opened on them all with the information of the ground being covered with snow and of its still snowing fast with a strong drifting wind concluding with these words to Mr Woodhouse {para} This will prove a spirited beginning of your winter engagements sir Something new for your coachman and horses to be making their way through a storm of snow {para} Poor Mr Woodhouse was silent from consternation but every body else had something to say every body was either surprized or not surprized and had some question to ask or some comfort to offer Mrs Weston and Emma tried earnestly to cheer him and turn his attention from his son in law who was pursuing his triumph rather unfeelingly {para} I admired your resolution very much sir said he in venturing out in such weather for of course you saw there would be snow very soon Every body must have seen the snow coming on I admired your spirit and I dare say we shall get home very well Another hour or two 's snow can hardly make the road impassable and we are two carriages if one is blown over in the bleak part of the common field there will be the other at hand I dare say we shall be all safe at Hartfield before midnight {para} Mr Weston with triumph of a different sort was confessing that he had known it to be snowing some time but had not said a word lest it should make Mr Woodhouse uncomfortable and be an excuse for his hurrying away As to there being any quantity of snow fallen or likely to fall to impede their return that was a mere joke he was afraid they would find no difficulty He wished the road might be impassable that he might be able to keep them all at Randalls and with the utmost good will was sure that accommodation might be found for every body calling on his wife to agree with him that with a little contrivance every body might be lodged which she hardly knew how to do from the consciousness of there being but two spare rooms in the house {para} What is to be done my dear Emma what is to be done was Mr Woodhouse 's first exclamation and all that he could say for some time To her he looked for comfort and her assurances of safety her representation of the excellence of the horses and of James and of their having so many friends about them revived him a little {para} His eldest daughter 's alarm was equal to his own The horror of being blocked up at Randalls while her children were at Hartfield was full in her imagination and fancying the road to be now just passable for adventurous people but in a state that admitted no delay she was eager to have it settled that her father and Emma should remain at Randalls while she and her husband set forward instantly through all the possible accumulations of drifted snow that might impede them {para} You had better order the carriage directly my love said she I dare say we shall be able to get along if we set off directly and if we do come to any thing very bad I can get out and walk I am not at all afraid I should not mind walking half the way I could change my shoes you know the moment I got home and it is not the sort of thing that gives me cold {para} Indeed replied he Then my dear Isabella it is the most extraordinary sort of thing in the world for in general every thing does give you cold Walk home you are prettily shod for walking home I dare say It will be bad enough for the horses {para} Isabella turned to Mrs Weston for her approbation of the plan Mrs Weston could only approve Isabella then went to Emma but Emma could not so entirely give up the hope of their being all able to get away and they were still discussing the point when Mr Knightley who had left the room immediately after his brother 's first report of the snow came back again and told them that he had been out of doors to examine and could answer for there not being the smallest difficulty in their getting home whenever they liked it either now or an hour hence He had gone beyond the sweep some way along the Highbury road the snow was nowhere above half an inch deep in many places hardly enough to whiten the ground a very few flakes were falling at present but the clouds were parting and there was every appearance of its being soon over He had seen the coachmen and they both agreed with him in there being nothing to apprehend {para} To Isabella the relief of such tidings was very great and they were scarcely less acceptable to Emma on her father 's account who was immediately set as much at ease on the subject as his nervous constitution allowed but the alarm that had been raised could not be appeased so as to admit of any comfort for him while he continued at Randalls He was satisfied of there being no present danger in returning home but no assurances could convince him that it was safe to stay and while the others were variously urging and recommending Mr Knightley and Emma settled it in a few brief sentences thus {para} Your father will not be easy why do not you go {para} I am ready if the others are {para} Shall I ring the bell {para} Yes do {para} And the bell was rung and the carriages spoken for A few minutes more and Emma hoped to see one troublesome companion deposited in his own house to get sober and cool and the other recover his temper and happiness when this visit of hardship were over {para} The carriage came and Mr Woodhouse always the first object on such occasions was carefully attended to his own by Mr Knightley and Mr Weston but not all that either could say could prevent some renewal of alarm at the sight of the snow which had actually fallen and the discovery of a much darker night than he had been prepared for He was afraid they should have a very bad drive He was afraid poor Isabella would not like it And there would be poor Emma in the carriage behind He did not know what they had best do They must keep as much together as they could and James was talked to and given a charge to go very slow and wait for the other carriage {para} Isabella stept in after her father John Knightley forgetting that he did not belong to their party stept in after his wife very naturally so that Emma found on being escorted and followed into the second carriage by Mr Elton that the door was to be lawfully shut on them and that they were to have a tete a tete drive It would not have been the awkwardness of a moment it would have been rather a pleasure previous to the suspicions of this very day she could have talked to him of Harriet and the three quarters of a mile would have seemed but one But now she would rather it had not happened She believed he had been drinking too much of Mr Weston 's good wine and felt sure that he would want to be talking nonsense {para} To restrain him as much as might be by her own manners she was immediately preparing to speak with exquisite calmness and gravity of the weather and the night but scarcely had she begun scarcely had they passed the sweep gate and joined the other carriage than she found her subject cut up her hand seized her attention demanded and Mr Elton actually making violent love to her availing himself of the precious opportunity declaring sentiments which must be already well known hoping fearing adoring ready to die if she refused him but flattering himself that his ardent attachment and unequalled love and unexampled passion could not fail of having some effect and in short very much resolved on being seriously accepted as soon as possible It really was so Without scruple without apology without much apparent diffidence Mr Elton the lover of Harriet was professing himself her lover She tried to stop him but vainly he would go on and say it all Angry as she was the thought of the moment made her resolve to restrain herself when she did speak She felt that half this folly must be drunkenness and therefore could hope that it might belong only to the passing hour Accordingly with a mixture of the serious and the playful which she hoped would best suit his half and half state she replied {para} I am very much astonished Mr Elton This to me you forget yourself you take me for my friend any message to Miss Smith I shall be happy to deliver but no more of this to me if you please {para} Miss Smith message to Miss Smith What could she possibly mean And he repeated her words with such assurance of accent such boastful pretence of amazement that she could not help replying with quickness {para} Mr Elton this is the most extraordinary conduct and I can account for it only in one way you are not yourself or you could not speak either to me or of Harriet in such a manner Command yourself enough to say no more and I will endeavour to forget it {para} But Mr Elton had only drunk wine enough to elevate his spirits not at all to confuse his intellects He perfectly knew his own meaning and having warmly protested against her suspicion as most injurious and slightly touched upon his respect for Miss Smith as her friend but acknowledging his wonder that Miss Smith should be mentioned at all he resumed the subject of his own passion and was very urgent for a favourable answer {para} As she thought less of his inebriety she thought more of his inconstancy and presumption and with fewer struggles for politeness replied {para} It is impossible for me to doubt any longer You have made yourself too clear Mr Elton my astonishment is much beyond any thing I can express After such behaviour as I have witnessed during the last month to Miss Smith such attentions as I have been in the daily habit of observing to be addressing me in this manner this is an unsteadiness of character indeed which I had not supposed possible Believe me sir I am far very far from gratified in being the object of such professions {para} Good Heaven cried Mr Elton what can be the meaning of this Miss Smith I never thought of Miss Smith in the whole course of my existence never paid her any attentions but as your friend never cared whether she were dead or alive but as your friend If she has fancied otherwise her own wishes have misled her and I am very sorry extremely sorry But Miss Smith indeed Oh Miss Woodhouse who can think of Miss Smith when Miss Woodhouse is near No upon my honour there is no unsteadiness of character I have thought only of you I protest against having paid the smallest attention to any one else Every thing that I have said or done for many weeks past has been with the sole view of marking my adoration of yourself You cannot really seriously doubt it No in an accent meant to be insinuating I am sure you have seen and understood me {para} It would be impossible to say what Emma felt on hearing this which of all her unpleasant sensations was uppermost She was too completely overpowered to be immediately able to reply and two moments of silence being ample encouragement for Mr Elton 's sanguine state of mind he tried to take her hand again as he joyously exclaimed {para} Charming Miss Woodhouse allow me to interpret this interesting silence It confesses that you have long understood me {para} No sir cried Emma it confesses no such thing So far from having long understood you I have been in a most complete error with respect to your views till this moment As to myself I am very sorry that you should have been giving way to any feelings Nothing could be farther from my wishes your attachment to my friend Harriet your pursuit of her pursuit it appeared gave me great pleasure and I have been very earnestly wishing you success but had I supposed that she were not your attraction to Hartfield I should certainly have thought you judged ill in making your visits so frequent Am I to believe that you have never sought to recommend yourself particularly to Miss Smith that you have never thought seriously of her {para} Never madam cried he affronted in his turn never I assure you I think seriously of Miss Smith Miss Smith is a very good sort of girl and I should be happy to see her respectably settled I wish her extremely well and no doubt there are men who might not object to Every body has their level but as for myself I am not I think quite so much at a loss I need not so totally despair of an equal alliance as to be addressing myself to Miss Smith No madam my visits to Hartfield have been for yourself only and the encouragement I received {para} Encouragement I give you encouragement Sir you have been entirely mistaken in supposing it I have seen you only as the admirer of my friend In no other light could you have been more to me than a common acquaintance I am exceedingly sorry but it is well that the mistake ends where it does Had the same behaviour continued Miss Smith might have been led into a misconception of your views not being aware probably any more than myself of the very great inequality which you are so sensible of But as it is the disappointment is single and I trust will not be lasting I have no thoughts of matrimony at present {para} He was too angry to say another word her manner too decided to invite supplication and in this state of swelling resentment and mutually deep mortification they had to continue together a few minutes longer for the fears of Mr Woodhouse had confined them to a foot pace If there had not been so much anger there would have been desperate awkwardness but their straightforward emotions left no room for the little zigzags of embarrassment Without knowing when the carriage turned into Vicarage Lane or when it stopped they found themselves all at once at the door of his house and he was out before another syllable passed Emma then felt it indispensable to wish him a good night The compliment was just returned coldly and proudly and under indescribable irritation of spirits she was then conveyed to Hartfield {para} There she was welcomed with the utmost delight by her father who had been trembling for the dangers of a solitary drive from Vicarage Lane turning a corner which he could never bear to think of and in strange hands a mere common coachman no James and there it seemed as if her return only were wanted to make every thing go well for Mr John Knightley ashamed of his ill humour was now all kindness and attention and so particularly solicitous for the comfort of her father as to seem if not quite ready to join him in a basin of gruel perfectly sensible of its being exceedingly wholesome and the day was concluding in peace and comfort to all their little party except herself But her mind had never been in such perturbation and it needed a very strong effort to appear attentive and cheerful till the usual hour of separating allowed her the relief of quiet reflection {para} CHAPTER XVI {para} The hair was curled and the maid sent away and Emma sat down to think and be miserable It was a wretched business indeed Such an overthrow of every thing she had been wishing for Such a development of every thing most unwelcome Such a blow for Harriet that was the worst of all Every part of it brought pain and humiliation of some sort or other but compared with the evil to Harriet all was light and she would gladly have submitted to feel yet more mistaken more in error more disgraced by mis judgment than she actually was could the effects of her blunders have been confined to herself {para} If I had not persuaded Harriet into liking the man I could have borne any thing He might have doubled his presumption to me but poor Harriet {para} How she could have been so deceived He protested that he had never thought seriously of Harriet never She looked back as well as she could but it was all confusion She had taken up the idea she supposed and made every thing bend to it His manners however must have been unmarked wavering dubious or she could not have been so misled {para} The picture How eager he had been about the picture and the charade and an hundred other circumstances how clearly they had seemed to point at Harriet To be sure the charade with its ready wit but then the soft eyes in fact it suited neither it was a jumble without taste or truth Who could have seen through such thick headed nonsense {para} Certainly she had often especially of late thought his manners to herself unnecessarily gallant but it had passed as his way as a mere error of judgment of knowledge of taste as one proof among others that he had not always lived in the best society that with all the gentleness of his address true elegance was sometimes wanting but till this very day she had never for an instant suspected it to mean any thing but grateful respect to her as Harriet 's friend {para} To Mr John Knightley was she indebted for her first idea on the subject for the first start of its possibility There was no denying that those brothers had penetration She remembered what Mr Knightley had once said to her about Mr Elton the caution he had given the conviction he had professed that Mr Elton would never marry indiscreetly and blushed to think how much truer a knowledge of his character had been there shewn than any she had reached herself It was dreadfully mortifying but Mr Elton was proving himself in many respects the very reverse of what she had meant and believed him proud assuming conceited very full of his own claims and little concerned about the feelings of others {para} Contrary to the usual course of things Mr Elton 's wanting to pay his addresses to her had sunk him in her opinion His professions and his proposals did him no service She thought nothing of his attachment and was insulted by his hopes He wanted to marry well and having the arrogance to raise his eyes to her pretended to be in love but she was perfectly easy as to his not suffering any disappointment that need be cared for There had been no real affection either in his language or manners Sighs and fine words had been given in abundance but she could hardly devise any set of expressions or fancy any tone of voice less allied with real love She need not trouble herself to pity him He only wanted to aggrandise and enrich himself and if Miss Woodhouse of Hartfield the heiress of thirty thousand pounds were not quite so easily obtained as he had fancied he would soon try for Miss Somebody else with twenty or with ten {para} But that he should talk of encouragement should consider her as aware of his views accepting his attentions meaning in short to marry him should suppose himself her equal in connexion or mind look down upon her friend so well understanding the gradations of rank below him and be so blind to what rose above as to fancy himself shewing no presumption in addressing her It was most provoking {para} Perhaps it was not fair to expect him to feel how very much he was her inferior in talent and all the elegancies of mind The very want of such equality might prevent his perception of it but he must know that in fortune and consequence she was greatly his superior He must know that the Woodhouses had been settled for several generations at Hartfield the younger branch of a very ancient family and that the Eltons were nobody The landed property of Hartfield certainly was inconsiderable being but a sort of notch in the Donwell Abbey estate to which all the rest of Highbury belonged but their fortune from other sources was such as to make them scarcely secondary to Donwell Abbey itself in every other kind of consequence and the Woodhouses had long held a high place in the consideration of the neighbourhood which Mr Elton had first entered not two years ago to make his way as he could without any alliances but in trade or any thing to recommend him to notice but his situation and his civility But he had fancied her in love with him that evidently must have been his dependence and after raving a little about the seeming incongruity of gentle manners and a conceited head Emma was obliged in common honesty to stop and admit that her own behaviour to him had been so complaisant and obliging so full of courtesy and attention as supposing her real motive unperceived might warrant a man of ordinary observation and delicacy like Mr Elton in fancying himself a very decided favourite If she had so misinterpreted his feelings she had little right to wonder that he with self interest to blind him should have mistaken hers {para} The first error and the worst lay at her door It was foolish it was wrong to take so active a part in bringing any two people together It was adventuring too far assuming too much making light of what ought to be serious a trick of what ought to be simple She was quite concerned and ashamed and resolved to do such things no more {para} Here have I said she actually talked poor Harriet into being very much attached to this man She might never have thought of him but for me and certainly never would have thought of him with hope if I had not assured her of his attachment for she is as modest and humble as I used to think him Oh that I had been satisfied with persuading her not to accept young Martin There I was quite right That was well done of me but there I should have stopped and left the rest to time and chance I was introducing her into good company and giving her the opportunity of pleasing some one worth having I ought not to have attempted more But now poor girl her peace is cut up for some time I have been but half a friend to her and if she were not to feel this disappointment so very much I am sure I have not an idea of any body else who would be at all desirable for her William Coxe Oh no I could not endure William Coxe a pert young lawyer {para} She stopt to blush and laugh at her own relapse and then resumed a more serious more dispiriting cogitation upon what had been and might be and must be The distressing explanation she had to make to Harriet and all that poor Harriet would be suffering with the awkwardness of future meetings the difficulties of continuing or discontinuing the acquaintance of subduing feelings concealing resentment and avoiding eclat were enough to occupy her in most unmirthful reflections some time longer and she went to bed at last with nothing settled but the conviction of her having blundered most dreadfully {para} To youth and natural cheerfulness like Emma 's though under temporary gloom at night the return of day will hardly fail to bring return of spirits The youth and cheerfulness of morning are in happy analogy and of powerful operation and if the distress be not poignant enough to keep the eyes unclosed they will be sure to open to sensations of softened pain and brighter hope {para} Emma got up on the morrow more disposed for comfort than she had gone to bed more ready to see alleviations of the evil before her and to depend on getting tolerably out of it {para} It was a great consolation that Mr Elton should not be really in love with her or so particularly amiable as to make it shocking to disappoint him that Harriet 's nature should not be of that superior sort in which the feelings are most acute and retentive and that there could be no necessity for any body 's knowing what had passed except the three principals and especially for her father 's being given a moment 's uneasiness about it {para} These were very cheering thoughts and the sight of a great deal of snow on the ground did her further service for any thing was welcome that might justify their all three being quite asunder at present {para} The weather was most favourable for her though Christmas Day she could not go to church Mr Woodhouse would have been miserable had his daughter attempted it and she was therefore safe from either exciting or receiving unpleasant and most unsuitable ideas The ground covered with snow and the atmosphere in that unsettled state between frost and thaw which is of all others the most unfriendly for exercise every morning beginning in rain or snow and every evening setting in to freeze she was for many days a most honourable prisoner No intercourse with Harriet possible but by note no church for her on Sunday any more than on Christmas Day and no need to find excuses for Mr Elton 's absenting himself {para} It was weather which might fairly confine every body at home and though she hoped and believed him to be really taking comfort in some society or other it was very pleasant to have her father so well satisfied with his being all alone in his own house too wise to stir out and to hear him say to Mr Knightley whom no weather could keep entirely from them {para} Ah Mr Knightley why do not you stay at home like poor Mr Elton {para} These days of confinement would have been but for her private perplexities remarkably comfortable as such seclusion exactly suited her brother whose feelings must always be of great importance to his companions and he had besides so thoroughly cleared off his ill humour at Randalls that his amiableness never failed him during the rest of his stay at Hartfield He was always agreeable and obliging and speaking pleasantly of every body But with all the hopes of cheerfulness and all the present comfort of delay there was still such an evil hanging over her in the hour of explanation with Harriet as made it impossible for Emma to be ever perfectly at ease {para} CHAPTER XVII {para} Mr and Mrs John Knightley were not detained long at Hartfield The weather soon improved enough for those to move who must move and Mr Woodhouse having as usual tried to persuade his daughter to stay behind with all her children was obliged to see the whole party set off and return to his lamentations over the destiny of poor Isabella which poor Isabella passing her life with those she doated on full of their merits blind to their faults and always innocently busy might have been a model of right feminine happiness {para} The evening of the very day on which they went brought a note from Mr Elton to Mr Woodhouse a long civil ceremonious note to say with Mr Elton 's best compliments that he was proposing to leave Highbury the following morning in his way to Bath where in compliance with the pressing entreaties of some friends he had engaged to spend a few weeks and very much regretted the impossibility he was under from various circumstances of weather and business of taking a personal leave of Mr Woodhouse of whose friendly civilities he should ever retain a grateful sense and had Mr Woodhouse any commands should be happy to attend to them {para} Emma was most agreeably surprized Mr Elton 's absence just at this time was the very thing to be desired She admired him for contriving it though not able to give him much credit for the manner in which it was announced Resentment could not have been more plainly spoken than in a civility to her father from which she was so pointedly excluded She had not even a share in his opening compliments Her name was not mentioned and there was so striking a change in all this and such an ill judged solemnity of leave taking in his graceful acknowledgments as she thought at first could not escape her father 's suspicion {para} It did however Her father was quite taken up with the surprize of so sudden a journey and his fears that Mr Elton might never get safely to the end of it and saw nothing extraordinary in his language It was a very useful note for it supplied them with fresh matter for thought and conversation during the rest of their lonely evening Mr Woodhouse talked over his alarms and Emma was in spirits to persuade them away with all her usual promptitude {para} She now resolved to keep Harriet no longer in the dark She had reason to believe her nearly recovered from her cold and it was desirable that she should have as much time as possible for getting the better of her other complaint before the gentleman 's return She went to Mrs Goddard 's accordingly the very next day to undergo the necessary penance of communication and a severe one it was She had to destroy all the hopes which she had been so industriously feeding to appear in the ungracious character of the one preferred and acknowledge herself grossly mistaken and mis judging in all her ideas on one subject all her observations all her convictions all her prophecies for the last six weeks {para} The confession completely renewed her first shame and the sight of Harriet 's tears made her think that she should never be in charity with herself again {para} Harriet bore the intelligence very well blaming nobody and in every thing testifying such an ingenuousness of disposition and lowly opinion of herself as must appear with particular advantage at that moment to her friend {para} Emma was in the humour to value simplicity and modesty to the utmost and all that was amiable all that ought to be attaching seemed on Harriet 's side not her own Harriet did not consider herself as having any thing to complain of The affection of such a man as Mr Elton would have been too great a distinction She never could have deserved him and nobody but so partial and kind a friend as Miss Woodhouse would have thought it possible {para} Her tears fell abundantly but her grief was so truly artless that no dignity could have made it more respectable in Emma 's eyes and she listened to her and tried to console her with all her heart and understanding really for the time convinced that Harriet was the superior creature of the two and that to resemble her would be more for her own welfare and happiness than all that genius or intelligence could do {para} It was rather too late in the day to set about being simple minded and ignorant but she left her with every previous resolution confirmed of being humble and discreet and repressing imagination all the rest of her life Her second duty now inferior only to her father 's claims was to promote Harriet 's comfort and endeavour to prove her own affection in some better method than by match making She got her to Hartfield and shewed her the most unvarying kindness striving to occupy and amuse her and by books and conversation to drive Mr Elton from her thoughts {para} Time she knew must be allowed for this being thoroughly done and she could suppose herself but an indifferent judge of such matters in general and very inadequate to sympathise in an attachment to Mr Elton in particular but it seemed to her reasonable that at Harriet 's age and with the entire extinction of all hope such a progress might be made towards a state of composure by the time of Mr Elton 's return as to allow them all to meet again in the common routine of acquaintance without any danger of betraying sentiments or increasing them {para} Harriet did think him all perfection and maintained the non existence of any body equal to him in person or goodness and did in truth prove herself more resolutely in love than Emma had foreseen but yet it appeared to her so natural so inevitable to strive against an inclination of that sort unrequited that she could not comprehend its continuing very long in equal force {para} If Mr Elton on his return made his own indifference as evident and indubitable as she could not doubt he would anxiously do she could not imagine Harriet 's persisting to place her happiness in the sight or the recollection of him {para} Their being fixed so absolutely fixed in the same place was bad for each for all three Not one of them had the power of removal or of effecting any material change of society They must encounter each other and make the best of it {para} Harriet was farther unfortunate in the tone of her companions at Mrs Goddard 's Mr Elton being the adoration of all the teachers and great girls in the school and it must be at Hartfield only that she could have any chance of hearing him spoken of with cooling moderation or repellent truth Where the wound had been given there must the cure be found if anywhere and Emma felt that till she saw her in the way of cure there could be no true peace for herself {para} CHAPTER XVIII {para} Mr Frank Churchill did not come When the time proposed drew near Mrs Weston 's fears were justified in the arrival of a letter of excuse For the present he could not be spared to his very great mortification and regret but still he looked forward with the hope of coming to Randalls at no distant period {para} Mrs Weston was exceedingly disappointed much more disappointed in fact than her husband though her dependence on seeing the young man had been so much more sober but a sanguine temper though for ever expecting more good than occurs does not always pay for its hopes by any proportionate depression It soon flies over the present failure and begins to hope again For half an hour Mr Weston was surprized and sorry but then he began to perceive that Frank 's coming two or three months later would be a much better plan better time of year better weather and that he would be able without any doubt to stay considerably longer with them than if he had come sooner {para} These feelings rapidly restored his comfort while Mrs Weston of a more apprehensive disposition foresaw nothing but a repetition of excuses and delays and after all her concern for what her husband was to suffer suffered a great deal more herself {para} Emma was not at this time in a state of spirits to care really about Mr Frank Churchill 's not coming except as a disappointment at Randalls The acquaintance at present had no charm for her She wanted rather to be quiet and out of temptation but still as it was desirable that she should appear in general like her usual self she took care to express as much interest in the circumstance and enter as warmly into Mr and Mrs Weston 's disappointment as might naturally belong to their friendship {para} She was the first to announce it to Mr Knightley and exclaimed quite as much as was necessary or being acting a part perhaps rather more at the conduct of the Churchills in keeping him away She then proceeded to say a good deal more than she felt of the advantage of such an addition to their confined society in Surry the pleasure of looking at somebody new the gala day to Highbury entire which the sight of him would have made and ending with reflections on the Churchills again found herself directly involved in a disagreement with Mr Knightley and to her great amusement perceived that she was taking the other side of the question from her real opinion and making use of Mrs Weston 's arguments against herself {para} The Churchills are very likely in fault said Mr Knightley coolly but I dare say he might come if he would {para} I do not know why you should say so He wishes exceedingly to come but his uncle and aunt will not spare him {para} I cannot believe that he has not the power of coming if he made a point of it It is too unlikely for me to believe it without proof {para} How odd you are What has Mr Frank Churchill done to make you suppose him such an unnatural creature {para} I am not supposing him at all an unnatural creature in suspecting that he may have learnt to be above his connexions and to care very little for any thing but his own pleasure from living with those who have always set him the example of it It is a great deal more natural than one could wish that a young man brought up by those who are proud luxurious and selfish should be proud luxurious and selfish too If Frank Churchill had wanted to see his father he would have contrived it between September and January A man at his age what is he three or four and twenty cannot be without the means of doing as much as that It is impossible {para} That 's easily said and easily felt by you who have always been your own master You are the worst judge in the world Mr Knightley of the difficulties of dependence You do not know what it is to have tempers to manage {para} It is not to be conceived that a man of three or four and twenty should not have liberty of mind or limb to that amount He cannot want money he cannot want leisure We know on the contrary that he has so much of both that he is glad to get rid of them at the idlest haunts in the kingdom We hear of him for ever at some watering place or other A little while ago he was at Weymouth This proves that he can leave the Churchills {para} Yes sometimes he can {para} And those times are whenever he thinks it worth his while whenever there is any temptation of pleasure {para} It is very unfair to judge of any body 's conduct without an intimate knowledge of their situation Nobody who has not been in the interior of a family can say what the difficulties of any individual of that family may be We ought to be acquainted with Enscombe and with Mrs Churchill 's temper before we pretend to decide upon what her nephew can do He may at times be able to do a great deal more than he can at others {para} There is one thing Emma which a man can always do if he chuses and that is his duty not by manoeuvring and finessing but by vigour and resolution It is Frank Churchill 's duty to pay this attention to his father He knows it to be so by his promises and messages but if he wished to do it it might be done A man who felt rightly would say at once simply and resolutely to Mrs Churchill Every sacrifice of mere pleasure you will always find me ready to make to your convenience but I must go and see my father immediately I know he would be hurt by my failing in such a mark of respect to him on the present occasion I shall therefore set off to morrow If he would say so to her at once in the tone of decision becoming a man there would be no opposition made to his going {para} No said Emma laughing but perhaps there might be some made to his coming back again Such language for a young man entirely dependent to use Nobody but you Mr Knightley would imagine it possible But you have not an idea of what is requisite in situations directly opposite to your own Mr Frank Churchill to be making such a speech as that to the uncle and aunt who have brought him up and are to provide for him Standing up in the middle of the room I suppose and speaking as loud as he could How can you imagine such conduct practicable {para} Depend upon it Emma a sensible man would find no difficulty in it He would feel himself in the right and the declaration made of course as a man of sense would make it in a proper manner would do him more good raise him higher fix his interest stronger with the people he depended on than all that a line of shifts and expedients can ever do Respect would be added to affection They would feel that they could trust him that the nephew who had done rightly by his father would do rightly by them for they know as well as he does as well as all the world must know that he ought to pay this visit to his father and while meanly exerting their power to delay it are in their hearts not thinking the better of him for submitting to their whims Respect for right conduct is felt by every body If he would act in this sort of manner on principle consistently regularly their little minds would bend to his {para} I rather doubt that You are very fond of bending little minds but where little minds belong to rich people in authority I think they have a knack of swelling out till they are quite as unmanageable as great ones I can imagine that if you as you are Mr Knightley were to be transported and placed all at once in Mr Frank Churchill 's situation you would be able to say and do just what you have been recommending for him and it might have a very good effect The Churchills might not have a word to say in return but then you would have no habits of early obedience and long observance to break through To him who has it might not be so easy to burst forth at once into perfect independence and set all their claims on his gratitude and regard at nought He may have as strong a sense of what would be right as you can have without being so equal under particular circumstances to act up to it {para} Then it would not be so strong a sense If it failed to produce equal exertion it could not be an equal conviction {para} Oh the difference of situation and habit I wish you would try to understand what an amiable young man may be likely to feel in directly opposing those whom as child and boy he has been looking up to all his life {para} Our amiable young man is a very weak young man if this be the first occasion of his carrying through a resolution to do right against the will of others It ought to have been a habit with him by this time of following his duty instead of consulting expediency I can allow for the fears of the child but not of the man As he became rational he ought to have roused himself and shaken off all that was unworthy in their authority He ought to have opposed the first attempt on their side to make him slight his father Had he begun as he ought there would have been no difficulty now {para} We shall never agree about him cried Emma but that is nothing extraordinary I have not the least idea of his being a weak young man I feel sure that he is not Mr Weston would not be blind to folly though in his own son but he is very likely to have a more yielding complying mild disposition than would suit your notions of man 's perfection I dare say he has and though it may cut him off from some advantages it will secure him many others {para} Yes all the advantages of sitting still when he ought to move and of leading a life of mere idle pleasure and fancying himself extremely expert in finding excuses for it He can sit down and write a fine flourishing letter full of professions and falsehoods and persuade himself that he has hit upon the very best method in the world of preserving peace at home and preventing his father 's having any right to complain His letters disgust me {para} Your feelings are singular They seem to satisfy every body else {para} I suspect they do not satisfy Mrs Weston They hardly can satisfy a woman of her good sense and quick feelings standing in a mother 's place but without a mother 's affection to blind her It is on her account that attention to Randalls is doubly due and she must doubly feel the omission Had she been a person of consequence herself he would have come I dare say and it would not have signified whether he did or no Can you think your friend behindhand in these sort of considerations Do you suppose she does not often say all this to herself No Emma your amiable young man can be amiable only in French not in English He may be very aimable have very good manners and be very agreeable but he can have no English delicacy towards the feelings of other people nothing really amiable about him {para} You seem determined to think ill of him {para} Me not at all replied Mr Knightley rather displeased I do not want to think ill of him I should be as ready to acknowledge his merits as any other man but I hear of none except what are merely personal that he is well grown and good looking with smooth plausible manners {para} Well if he have nothing else to recommend him he will be a treasure at Highbury We do not often look upon fine young men well bred and agreeable We must not be nice and ask for all the virtues into the bargain Cannot you imagine Mr Knightley what a sensation his coming will produce There will be but one subject throughout the parishes of Donwell and Highbury but one interest one object of curiosity it will be all Mr Frank Churchill we shall think and speak of nobody else {para} You will excuse my being so much over powered If I find him conversable I shall be glad of his acquaintance but if he is only a chattering coxcomb he will not occupy much of my time or thoughts {para} My idea of him is that he can adapt his conversation to the taste of every body and has the power as well as the wish of being universally agreeable To you he will talk of farming to me of drawing or music and so on to every body having that general information on all subjects which will enable him to follow the lead or take the lead just as propriety may require and to speak extremely well on each that is my idea of him {para} And mine said Mr Knightley warmly is that if he turn out any thing like it he will be the most insufferable fellow breathing What at three and twenty to be the king of his company the great man the practised politician who is to read every body 's character and make every body 's talents conduce to the display of his own superiority to be dispensing his flatteries around that he may make all appear like fools compared with himself My dear Emma your own good sense could not endure such a puppy when it came to the point {para} I will say no more about him cried Emma you turn every thing to evil We are both prejudiced you against I for him and we have no chance of agreeing till he is really here {para} Prejudiced I am not prejudiced {para} But I am very much and without being at all ashamed of it My love for Mr and Mrs Weston gives me a decided prejudice in his favour {para} He is a person I never think of from one month 's end to another said Mr Knightley with a degree of vexation which made Emma immediately talk of something else though she could not comprehend why he should be angry {para} To take a dislike to a young man only because he appeared to be of a different disposition from himself was unworthy the real liberality of mind which she was always used to acknowledge in him for with all the high opinion of himself which she had often laid to his charge she had never before for a moment supposed it could make him unjust to the merit of another {para} VOLUME II {para} CHAPTER I {para} Emma and Harriet had been walking together one morning and in Emma 's opinion had been talking enough of Mr Elton for that day She could not think that Harriet 's solace or her own sins required more and she was therefore industriously getting rid of the subject as they returned but it burst out again when she thought she had succeeded and after speaking some time of what the poor must suffer in winter and receiving no other answer than a very plaintive Mr Elton is so good to the poor she found something else must be done {para} They were just approaching the house where lived Mrs and Miss Bates She determined to call upon them and seek safety in numbers There was always sufficient reason for such an attention Mrs and Miss Bates loved to be called on and she knew she was considered by the very few who presumed ever to see imperfection in her as rather negligent in that respect and as not contributing what she ought to the stock of their scanty comforts {para} She had had many a hint from Mr Knightley and some from her own heart as to her deficiency but none were equal to counteract the persuasion of its being very disagreeable a waste of time tiresome women and all the horror of being in danger of falling in with the second rate and third rate of Highbury who were calling on them for ever and therefore she seldom went near them But now she made the sudden resolution of not passing their door without going in observing as she proposed it to Harriet that as well as she could calculate they were just now quite safe from any letter from Jane Fairfax {para} The house belonged to people in business Mrs and Miss Bates occupied the drawing room floor and there in the very moderate sized apartment which was every thing to them the visitors were most cordially and even gratefully welcomed the quiet neat old lady who with her knitting was seated in the warmest corner wanting even to give up her place to Miss Woodhouse and her more active talking daughter almost ready to overpower them with care and kindness thanks for their visit solicitude for their shoes anxious inquiries after Mr Woodhouse 's health cheerful communications about her mother 's and sweet cake from the beaufet Mrs Cole had just been there just called in for ten minutes and had been so good as to sit an hour with them and she had taken a piece of cake and been so kind as to say she liked it very much and therefore she hoped Miss Woodhouse and Miss Smith would do them the favour to eat a piece too {para} The mention of the Coles was sure to be followed by that of Mr Elton There was intimacy between them and Mr Cole had heard from Mr Elton since his going away Emma knew what was coming they must have the letter over again and settle how long he had been gone and how much he was engaged in company and what a favourite he was wherever he went and how full the Master of the Ceremonies ball had been and she went through it very well with all the interest and all the commendation that could be requisite and always putting forward to prevent Harriet 's being obliged to say a word {para} This she had been prepared for when she entered the house but meant having once talked him handsomely over to be no farther incommoded by any troublesome topic and to wander at large amongst all the Mistresses and Misses of Highbury and their card parties She had not been prepared to have Jane Fairfax succeed Mr Elton but he was actually hurried off by Miss Bates she jumped away from him at last abruptly to the Coles to usher in a letter from her niece {para} Oh yes Mr Elton I understand certainly as to dancing Mrs Cole was telling me that dancing at the rooms at Bath was Mrs Cole was so kind as to sit some time with us talking of Jane for as soon as she came in she began inquiring after her Jane is so very great a favourite there Whenever she is with us Mrs Cole does not know how to shew her kindness enough and I must say that Jane deserves it as much as any body can And so she began inquiring after her directly saying I know you cannot have heard from Jane lately because it is not her time for writing and when I immediately said But indeed we have we had a letter this very morning I do not know that I ever saw any body more surprized Have you upon your honour said she well that is quite unexpected Do let me hear what she says {para} Emma 's politeness was at hand directly to say with smiling interest {para} Have you heard from Miss Fairfax so lately I am extremely happy I hope she is well {para} Thank you You are so kind replied the happily deceived aunt while eagerly hunting for the letter Oh here it is I was sure it could not be far off but I had put my huswife upon it you see without being aware and so it was quite hid but I had it in my hand so very lately that I was almost sure it must be on the table I was reading it to Mrs Cole and since she went away I was reading it again to my mother for it is such a pleasure to her a letter from Jane that she can never hear it often enough so I knew it could not be far off and here it is only just under my huswife and since you are so kind as to wish to hear what she says but first of all I really must in justice to Jane apologise for her writing so short a letter only two pages you see hardly two and in general she fills the whole paper and crosses half My mother often wonders that I can make it out so well She often says when the letter is first opened Well Hetty now I think you will be put to it to make out all that checker work don't you ma'am And then I tell her I am sure she would contrive to make it out herself if she had nobody to do it for her every word of it I am sure she would pore over it till she had made out every word And indeed though my mother 's eyes are not so good as they were she can see amazingly well still thank God with the help of spectacles It is such a blessing My mother 's are really very good indeed Jane often says when she is here I am sure grandmama you must have had very strong eyes to see as you do and so much fine work as you have done too I only wish my eyes may last me as well {para} All this spoken extremely fast obliged Miss Bates to stop for breath and Emma said something very civil about the excellence of Miss Fairfax 's handwriting {para} You are extremely kind replied Miss Bates highly gratified you who are such a judge and write so beautifully yourself I am sure there is nobody 's praise that could give us so much pleasure as Miss Woodhouse 's My mother does not hear she is a little deaf you know Ma'am addressing her do you hear what Miss Woodhouse is so obliging to say about Jane 's handwriting {para} And Emma had the advantage of hearing her own silly compliment repeated twice over before the good old lady could comprehend it She was pondering in the meanwhile upon the possibility without seeming very rude of making her escape from Jane Fairfax 's letter and had almost resolved on hurrying away directly under some slight excuse when Miss Bates turned to her again and seized her attention {para} My mother 's deafness is very trifling you see just nothing at all By only raising my voice and saying any thing two or three times over she is sure to hear but then she is used to my voice But it is very remarkable that she should always hear Jane better than she does me Jane speaks so distinct However she will not find her grandmama at all deafer than she was two years ago which is saying a great deal at my mother 's time of life and it really is full two years you know since she was here We never were so long without seeing her before and as I was telling Mrs Cole we shall hardly know how to make enough of her now {para} Are you expecting Miss Fairfax here soon {para} Oh yes next week {para} Indeed that must be a very great pleasure {para} Thank you You are very kind Yes next week Every body is so surprized and every body says the same obliging things I am sure she will be as happy to see her friends at Highbury as they can be to see her Yes Friday or Saturday she cannot say which because Colonel Campbell will be wanting the carriage himself one of those days So very good of them to send her the whole way But they always do you know Oh yes Friday or Saturday next That is what she writes about That is the reason of her writing out of rule as we call it for in the common course we should not have heard from her before next Tuesday or Wednesday {para} Yes so I imagined I was afraid there could be little chance of my hearing any thing of Miss Fairfax to day {para} So obliging of you No we should not have heard if it had not been for this particular circumstance of her being to come here so soon My mother is so delighted for she is to be three months with us at least Three months she says so positively as I am going to have the pleasure of reading to you The case is you see that the Campbells are going to Ireland Mrs Dixon has persuaded her father and mother to come over and see her directly They had not intended to go over till the summer but she is so impatient to see them again for till she married last October she was never away from them so much as a week which must make it very strange to be in different kingdoms I was going to say but however different countries and so she wrote a very urgent letter to her mother or her father I declare I do not know which it was but we shall see presently in Jane 's letter wrote in Mr Dixon 's name as well as her own to press their coming over directly and they would give them the meeting in Dublin and take them back to their country seat Baly craig a beautiful place I fancy Jane has heard a great deal of its beauty from Mr Dixon I mean I do not know that she ever heard about it from any body else but it was very natural you know that he should like to speak of his own place while he was paying his addresses and as Jane used to be very often walking out with them for Colonel and Mrs Campbell were very particular about their daughter 's not walking out often with only Mr Dixon for which I do not at all blame them of course she heard every thing he might be telling Miss Campbell about his own home in Ireland and I think she wrote us word that he had shewn them some drawings of the place views that he had taken himself He is a most amiable charming young man I believe Jane was quite longing to go to Ireland from his account of things {para} At this moment an ingenious and animating suspicion entering Emma 's brain with regard to Jane Fairfax this charming Mr Dixon and the not going to Ireland she said with the insidious design of farther discovery {para} You must feel it very fortunate that Miss Fairfax should be allowed to come to you at such a time Considering the very particular friendship between her and Mrs Dixon you could hardly have expected her to be excused from accompanying Colonel and Mrs Campbell {para} Very true very true indeed The very thing that we have always been rather afraid of for we should not have liked to have her at such a distance from us for months together not able to come if any thing was to happen But you see every thing turns out for the best They want her Mr and Mrs Dixon excessively to come over with Colonel and Mrs Campbell quite depend upon it nothing can be more kind or pressing than their joint invitation Jane says as you will hear presently Mr Dixon does not seem in the least backward in any attention He is a most charming young man Ever since the service he rendered Jane at Weymouth when they were out in that party on the water and she by the sudden whirling round of something or other among the sails would have been dashed into the sea at once and actually was all but gone if he had not with the greatest presence of mind caught hold of her habit I can never think of it without trembling But ever since we had the history of that day I have been so fond of Mr Dixon {para} But in spite of all her friends urgency and her own wish of seeing Ireland Miss Fairfax prefers devoting the time to you and Mrs Bates {para} Yes entirely her own doing entirely her own choice and Colonel and Mrs Campbell think she does quite right just what they should recommend and indeed they particularly wish her to try her native air as she has not been quite so well as usual lately {para} I am concerned to hear of it I think they judge wisely But Mrs Dixon must be very much disappointed Mrs Dixon I understand has no remarkable degree of personal beauty is not by any means to be compared with Miss Fairfax {para} Oh no You are very obliging to say such things but certainly not There is no comparison between them Miss Campbell always was absolutely plain but extremely elegant and amiable {para} Yes that of course {para} Jane caught a bad cold poor thing so long ago as the 7th of November as I am going to read to you and has never been well since A long time is not it for a cold to hang upon her She never mentioned it before because she would not alarm us Just like her so considerate But however she is so far from well that her kind friends the Campbells think she had better come home and try an air that always agrees with her and they have no doubt that three or four months at Highbury will entirely cure her and it is certainly a great deal better that she should come here than go to Ireland if she is unwell Nobody could nurse her as we should do {para} It appears to me the most desirable arrangement in the world {para} And so she is to come to us next Friday or Saturday and the Campbells leave town in their way to Holyhead the Monday following as you will find from Jane 's letter So sudden You may guess dear Miss Woodhouse what a flurry it has thrown me in If it was not for the drawback of her illness but I am afraid we must expect to see her grown thin and looking very poorly I must tell you what an unlucky thing happened to me as to that I always make a point of reading Jane 's letters through to myself first before I read them aloud to my mother you know for fear of there being any thing in them to distress her Jane desired me to do it so I always do and so I began to day with my usual caution but no sooner did I come to the mention of her being unwell than I burst out quite frightened with Bless me poor Jane is ill which my mother being on the watch heard distinctly and was sadly alarmed at However when I read on I found it was not near so bad as I had fancied at first and I make so light of it now to her that she does not think much about it But I cannot imagine how I could be so off my guard If Jane does not get well soon we will call in Mr Perry The expense shall not be thought of and though he is so liberal and so fond of Jane that I dare say he would not mean to charge any thing for attendance we could not suffer it to be so you know He has a wife and family to maintain and is not to be giving away his time Well now I have just given you a hint of what Jane writes about we will turn to her letter and I am sure she tells her own story a great deal better than I can tell it for her {para} I am afraid we must be running away said Emma glancing at Harriet and beginning to rise My father will be expecting us I had no intention I thought I had no power of staying more than five minutes when I first entered the house I merely called because I would not pass the door without inquiring after Mrs Bates but I have been so pleasantly detained Now however we must wish you and Mrs Bates good morning {para} And not all that could be urged to detain her succeeded She regained the street happy in this that though much had been forced on her against her will though she had in fact heard the whole substance of Jane Fairfax 's letter she had been able to escape the letter itself {para} CHAPTER II {para} Jane Fairfax was an orphan the only child of Mrs Bates 's youngest daughter {para} The marriage of Lieut Fairfax of the regiment of infantry and Miss Jane Bates had had its day of fame and pleasure hope and interest but nothing now remained of it save the melancholy remembrance of him dying in action abroad of his widow sinking under consumption and grief soon afterwards and this girl {para} By birth she belonged to Highbury and when at three years old on losing her mother she became the property the charge the consolation the fondling of her grandmother and aunt there had seemed every probability of her being permanently fixed there of her being taught only what very limited means could command and growing up with no advantages of connexion or improvement to be engrafted on what nature had given her in a pleasing person good understanding and warm hearted well meaning relations {para} But the compassionate feelings of a friend of her father gave a change to her destiny This was Colonel Campbell who had very highly regarded Fairfax as an excellent officer and most deserving young man and farther had been indebted to him for such attentions during a severe camp fever as he believed had saved his life These were claims which he did not learn to overlook though some years passed away from the death of poor Fairfax before his own return to England put any thing in his power When he did return he sought out the child and took notice of her He was a married man with only one living child a girl about Jane 's age and Jane became their guest paying them long visits and growing a favourite with all and before she was nine years old his daughter 's great fondness for her and his own wish of being a real friend united to produce an offer from Colonel Campbell of undertaking the whole charge of her education It was accepted and from that period Jane had belonged to Colonel Campbell 's family and had lived with them entirely only visiting her grandmother from time to time {para} The plan was that she should be brought up for educating others the very few hundred pounds which she inherited from her father making independence impossible To provide for her otherwise was out of Colonel Campbell 's power for though his income by pay and appointments was handsome his fortune was moderate and must be all his daughter 's but by giving her an education he hoped to be supplying the means of respectable subsistence hereafter {para} Such was Jane Fairfax 's history She had fallen into good hands known nothing but kindness from the Campbells and been given an excellent education Living constantly with right minded and well informed people her heart and understanding had received every advantage of discipline and culture and Colonel Campbell 's residence being in London every lighter talent had been done full justice to by the attendance of first rate masters Her disposition and abilities were equally worthy of all that friendship could do and at eighteen or nineteen she was as far as such an early age can be qualified for the care of children fully competent to the office of instruction herself but she was too much beloved to be parted with Neither father nor mother could promote and the daughter could not endure it The evil day was put off It was easy to decide that she was still too young and Jane remained with them sharing as another daughter in all the rational pleasures of an elegant society and a judicious mixture of home and amusement with only the drawback of the future the sobering suggestions of her own good understanding to remind her that all this might soon be over {para} The affection of the whole family the warm attachment of Miss Campbell in particular was the more honourable to each party from the circumstance of Jane 's decided superiority both in beauty and acquirements That nature had given it in feature could not be unseen by the young woman nor could her higher powers of mind be unfelt by the parents They continued together with unabated regard however till the marriage of Miss Campbell who by that chance that luck which so often defies anticipation in matrimonial affairs giving attraction to what is moderate rather than to what is superior engaged the affections of Mr Dixon a young man rich and agreeable almost as soon as they were acquainted and was eligibly and happily settled while Jane Fairfax had yet her bread to earn {para} This event had very lately taken place too lately for any thing to be yet attempted by her less fortunate friend towards entering on her path of duty though she had now reached the age which her own judgment had fixed on for beginning She had long resolved that one and twenty should be the period With the fortitude of a devoted novitiate she had resolved at one and twenty to complete the sacrifice and retire from all the pleasures of life of rational intercourse equal society peace and hope to penance and mortification for ever {para} The good sense of Colonel and Mrs Campbell could not oppose such a resolution though their feelings did As long as they lived no exertions would be necessary their home might be hers for ever and for their own comfort they would have retained her wholly but this would be selfishness what must be at last had better be soon Perhaps they began to feel it might have been kinder and wiser to have resisted the temptation of any delay and spared her from a taste of such enjoyments of ease and leisure as must now be relinquished Still however affection was glad to catch at any reasonable excuse for not hurrying on the wretched moment She had never been quite well since the time of their daughter 's marriage and till she should have completely recovered her usual strength they must forbid her engaging in duties which so far from being compatible with a weakened frame and varying spirits seemed under the most favourable circumstances to require something more than human perfection of body and mind to be discharged with tolerable comfort {para} With regard to her not accompanying them to Ireland her account to her aunt contained nothing but truth though there might be some truths not told It was her own choice to give the time of their absence to Highbury to spend perhaps her last months of perfect liberty with those kind relations to whom she was so very dear and the Campbells whatever might be their motive or motives whether single or double or treble gave the arrangement their ready sanction and said that they depended more on a few months spent in her native air for the recovery of her health than on any thing else Certain it was that she was to come and that Highbury instead of welcoming that perfect novelty which had been so long promised it Mr Frank Churchill must put up for the present with Jane Fairfax who could bring only the freshness of a two years absence {para} Emma was sorry to have to pay civilities to a person she did not like through three long months to be always doing more than she wished and less than she ought Why she did not like Jane Fairfax might be a difficult question to answer Mr Knightley had once told her it was because she saw in her the really accomplished young woman which she wanted to be thought herself and though the accusation had been eagerly refuted at the time there were moments of self examination in which her conscience could not quite acquit her But she could never get acquainted with her she did not know how it was but there was such coldness and reserve such apparent indifference whether she pleased or not and then her aunt was such an eternal talker and she was made such a fuss with by every body and it had been always imagined that they were to be so intimate because their ages were the same every body had supposed they must be so fond of each other These were her reasons she had no better {para} It was a dislike so little just every imputed fault was so magnified by fancy that she never saw Jane Fairfax the first time after any considerable absence without feeling that she had injured her and now when the due visit was paid on her arrival after a two years interval she was particularly struck with the very appearance and manners which for those two whole years she had been depreciating Jane Fairfax was very elegant remarkably elegant and she had herself the highest value for elegance Her height was pretty just such as almost every body would think tall and nobody could think very tall her figure particularly graceful her size a most becoming medium between fat and thin though a slight appearance of ill health seemed to point out the likeliest evil of the two Emma could not but feel all this and then her face her features there was more beauty in them altogether than she had remembered it was not regular but it was very pleasing beauty Her eyes a deep grey with dark eye lashes and eyebrows had never been denied their praise but the skin which she had been used to cavil at as wanting colour had a clearness and delicacy which really needed no fuller bloom It was a style of beauty of which elegance was the reigning character and as such she must in honour by all her principles admire it elegance which whether of person or of mind she saw so little in Highbury There not to be vulgar was distinction and merit {para} In short she sat during the first visit looking at Jane Fairfax with twofold complacency the sense of pleasure and the sense of rendering justice and was determining that she would dislike her no longer When she took in her history indeed her situation as well as her beauty when she considered what all this elegance was destined to what she was going to sink from how she was going to live it seemed impossible to feel any thing but compassion and respect especially if to every well known particular entitling her to interest were added the highly probable circumstance of an attachment to Mr Dixon which she had so naturally started to herself In that case nothing could be more pitiable or more honourable than the sacrifices she had resolved on Emma was very willing now to acquit her of having seduced Mr Dixon 's actions from his wife or of any thing mischievous which her imagination had suggested at first If it were love it might be simple single successless love on her side alone She might have been unconsciously sucking in the sad poison while a sharer of his conversation with her friend and from the best the purest of motives might now be denying herself this visit to Ireland and resolving to divide herself effectually from him and his connexions by soon beginning her career of laborious duty {para} Upon the whole Emma left her with such softened charitable feelings as made her look around in walking home and lament that Highbury afforded no young man worthy of giving her independence nobody that she could wish to scheme about for her {para} These were charming feelings but not lasting Before she had committed herself by any public profession of eternal friendship for Jane Fairfax or done more towards a recantation of past prejudices and errors than saying to Mr Knightley She certainly is handsome she is better than handsome Jane had spent an evening at Hartfield with her grandmother and aunt and every thing was relapsing much into its usual state Former provocations reappeared The aunt was as tiresome as ever more tiresome because anxiety for her health was now added to admiration of her powers and they had to listen to the description of exactly how little bread and butter she ate for breakfast and how small a slice of mutton for dinner as well as to see exhibitions of new caps and new workbags for her mother and herself and Jane 's offences rose again They had music Emma was obliged to play and the thanks and praise which necessarily followed appeared to her an affectation of candour an air of greatness meaning only to shew off in higher style her own very superior performance She was besides which was the worst of all so cold so cautious There was no getting at her real opinion Wrapt up in a cloak of politeness she seemed determined to hazard nothing She was disgustingly was suspiciously reserved {para} If any thing could be more where all was most she was more reserved on the subject of Weymouth and the Dixons than any thing She seemed bent on giving no real insight into Mr Dixon 's character or her own value for his company or opinion of the suitableness of the match It was all general approbation and smoothness nothing delineated or distinguished It did her no service however Her caution was thrown away Emma saw its artifice and returned to her first surmises There probably was something more to conceal than her own preference Mr Dixon perhaps had been very near changing one friend for the other or been fixed only to Miss Campbell for the sake of the future twelve thousand pounds {para} The like reserve prevailed on other topics She and Mr Frank Churchill had been at Weymouth at the same time It was known that they were a little acquainted but not a syllable of real information could Emma procure as to what he truly was Was he handsome She believed he was reckoned a very fine young man Was he agreeable He was generally thought so Did he appear a sensible young man a young man of information At a watering place or in a common London acquaintance it was difficult to decide on such points Manners were all that could be safely judged of under a much longer knowledge than they had yet had of Mr Churchill She believed every body found his manners pleasing Emma could not forgive her {para} CHAPTER III {para} Emma could not forgive her but as neither provocation nor resentment were discerned by Mr Knightley who had been of the party and had seen only proper attention and pleasing behaviour on each side he was expressing the next morning being at Hartfield again on business with Mr Woodhouse his approbation of the whole not so openly as he might have done had her father been out of the room but speaking plain enough to be very intelligible to Emma He had been used to think her unjust to Jane and had now great pleasure in marking an improvement {para} A very pleasant evening he began as soon as Mr Woodhouse had been talked into what was necessary told that he understood and the papers swept away particularly pleasant You and Miss Fairfax gave us some very good music I do not know a more luxurious state sir than sitting at one 's ease to be entertained a whole evening by two such young women sometimes with music and sometimes with conversation I am sure Miss Fairfax must have found the evening pleasant Emma You left nothing undone I was glad you made her play so much for having no instrument at her grandmother 's it must have been a real indulgence {para} I am happy you approved said Emma smiling but I hope I am not often deficient in what is due to guests at Hartfield {para} No my dear said her father instantly that I am sure you are not There is nobody half so attentive and civil as you are If any thing you are too attentive The muffin last night if it had been handed round once I think it would have been enough {para} No said Mr Knightley nearly at the same time you are not often deficient not often deficient either in manner or comprehension I think you understand me therefore {para} An arch look expressed I understand you well enough but she said only Miss Fairfax is reserved {para} I always told you she was a little but you will soon overcome all that part of her reserve which ought to be overcome all that has its foundation in diffidence What arises from discretion must be honoured {para} You think her diffident I do not see it {para} My dear Emma said he moving from his chair into one close by her you are not going to tell me I hope that you had not a pleasant evening {para} Oh no I was pleased with my own perseverance in asking questions and amused to think how little information I obtained {para} I am disappointed was his only answer {para} I hope every body had a pleasant evening said Mr Woodhouse in his quiet way I had Once I felt the fire rather too much but then I moved back my chair a little a very little and it did not disturb me Miss Bates was very chatty and good humoured as she always is though she speaks rather too quick However she is very agreeable and Mrs Bates too in a different way I like old friends and Miss Jane Fairfax is a very pretty sort of young lady a very pretty and a very well behaved young lady indeed She must have found the evening agreeable Mr Knightley because she had Emma {para} True sir and Emma because she had Miss Fairfax {para} Emma saw his anxiety and wishing to appease it at least for the present said and with a sincerity which no one could question {para} She is a sort of elegant creature that one cannot keep one 's eyes from I am always watching her to admire and I do pity her from my heart {para} Mr Knightley looked as if he were more gratified than he cared to express and before he could make any reply Mr Woodhouse whose thoughts were on the Bates 's said {para} It is a great pity that their circumstances should be so confined a great pity indeed and I have often wished but it is so little one can venture to do small trifling presents of any thing uncommon Now we have killed a porker and Emma thinks of sending them a loin or a leg it is very small and delicate Hartfield pork is not like any other pork but still it is pork and my dear Emma unless one could be sure of their making it into steaks nicely fried as ours are fried without the smallest grease and not roast it for no stomach can bear roast pork I think we had better send the leg do not you think so my dear {para} My dear papa I sent the whole hind quarter I knew you would wish it There will be the leg to be salted you know which is so very nice and the loin to be dressed directly in any manner they like {para} That 's right my dear very right I had not thought of it before but that is the best way They must not over salt the leg and then if it is not over salted and if it is very thoroughly boiled just as Serle boils ours and eaten very moderately of with a boiled turnip and a little carrot or parsnip I do not consider it unwholesome {para} Emma said Mr Knightley presently I have a piece of news for you You like news and I heard an article in my way hither that I think will interest you {para} News Oh yes I always like news What is it why do you smile so where did you hear it at Randalls {para} He had time only to say {para} No not at Randalls I have not been near Randalls when the door was thrown open and Miss Bates and Miss Fairfax walked into the room Full of thanks and full of news Miss Bates knew not which to give quickest Mr Knightley soon saw that he had lost his moment and that not another syllable of communication could rest with him {para} Oh my dear sir how are you this morning My dear Miss Woodhouse I come quite over powered Such a beautiful hind quarter of pork You are too bountiful Have you heard the news Mr Elton is going to be married {para} Emma had not had time even to think of Mr Elton and she was so completely surprized that she could not avoid a little start and a little blush at the sound {para} There is my news I thought it would interest you said Mr Knightley with a smile which implied a conviction of some part of what had passed between them {para} But where could you hear it cried Miss Bates Where could you possibly hear it Mr Knightley For it is not five minutes since I received Mrs Cole 's note no it cannot be more than five or at least ten for I had got my bonnet and spencer on just ready to come out I was only gone down to speak to Patty again about the pork Jane was standing in the passage were not you Jane for my mother was so afraid that we had not any salting pan large enough So I said I would go down and see and Jane said Shall I go down instead for I think you have a little cold and Patty has been washing the kitchen Oh my dear said I well and just then came the note A Miss Hawkins that 's all I know A Miss Hawkins of Bath But Mr Knightley how could you possibly have heard it for the very moment Mr Cole told Mrs Cole of it she sat down and wrote to me A Miss Hawkins {para} I was with Mr Cole on business an hour and a half ago He had just read Elton 's letter as I was shewn in and handed it to me directly {para} Well that is quite I suppose there never was a piece of news more generally interesting My dear sir you really are too bountiful My mother desires her very best compliments and regards and a thousand thanks and says you really quite oppress her {para} We consider our Hartfield pork replied Mr Woodhouse indeed it certainly is so very superior to all other pork that Emma and I cannot have a greater pleasure than {para} Oh my dear sir as my mother says our friends are only too good to us If ever there were people who without having great wealth themselves had every thing they could wish for I am sure it is us We may well say that our lot is cast in a goodly heritage Well Mr Knightley and so you actually saw the letter well {para} It was short merely to announce but cheerful exulting of course Here was a sly glance at Emma He had been so fortunate as to I forget the precise words one has no business to remember them The information was as you state that he was going to be married to a Miss Hawkins By his style I should imagine it just settled {para} Mr Elton going to be married said Emma as soon as she could speak He will have every body 's wishes for his happiness {para} He is very young to settle was Mr Woodhouse 's observation He had better not be in a hurry He seemed to me very well off as he was We were always glad to see him at Hartfield {para} A new neighbour for us all Miss Woodhouse said Miss Bates joyfully my mother is so pleased she says she cannot bear to have the poor old Vicarage without a mistress This is great news indeed Jane you have never seen Mr Elton no wonder that you have such a curiosity to see him {para} Jane 's curiosity did not appear of that absorbing nature as wholly to occupy her {para} No I have never seen Mr Elton she replied starting on this appeal is he is he a tall man {para} Who shall answer that question cried Emma My father would say yes Mr Knightley no and Miss Bates and I that he is just the happy medium When you have been here a little longer Miss Fairfax you will understand that Mr Elton is the standard of perfection in Highbury both in person and mind {para} Very true Miss Woodhouse so she will He is the very best young man But my dear Jane if you remember I told you yesterday he was precisely the height of Mr Perry Miss Hawkins I dare say an excellent young woman His extreme attention to my mother wanting her to sit in the vicarage pew that she might hear the better for my mother is a little deaf you know it is not much but she does not hear quite quick Jane says that Colonel Campbell is a little deaf He fancied bathing might be good for it the warm bath but she says it did him no lasting benefit Colonel Campbell you know is quite our angel And Mr Dixon seems a very charming young man quite worthy of him It is such a happiness when good people get together and they always do Now here will be Mr Elton and Miss Hawkins and there are the Coles such very good people and the Perrys I suppose there never was a happier or a better couple than Mr and Mrs Perry I say sir turning to Mr Woodhouse I think there are few places with such society as Highbury I always say we are quite blessed in our neighbours My dear sir if there is one thing my mother loves better than another it is pork a roast loin of pork {para} As to who or what Miss Hawkins is or how long he has been acquainted with her said Emma nothing I suppose can be known One feels that it cannot be a very long acquaintance He has been gone only four weeks {para} Nobody had any information to give and after a few more wonderings Emma said {para} You are silent Miss Fairfax but I hope you mean to take an interest in this news You who have been hearing and seeing so much of late on these subjects who must have been so deep in the business on Miss Campbell 's account we shall not excuse your being indifferent about Mr Elton and Miss Hawkins {para} When I have seen Mr Elton replied Jane I dare say I shall be interested but I believe it requires that with me And as it is some months since Miss Campbell married the impression may be a little worn off {para} Yes he has been gone just four weeks as you observe Miss Woodhouse said Miss Bates four weeks yesterday A Miss Hawkins Well I had always rather fancied it would be some young lady hereabouts not that I ever Mrs Cole once whispered to me but I immediately said No Mr Elton is a most worthy young man but In short I do not think I am particularly quick at those sort of discoveries I do not pretend to it What is before me I see At the same time nobody could wonder if Mr Elton should have aspired Miss Woodhouse lets me chatter on so good humouredly She knows I would not offend for the world How does Miss Smith do She seems quite recovered now Have you heard from Mrs John Knightley lately Oh those dear little children Jane do you know I always fancy Mr Dixon like Mr John Knightley I mean in person tall and with that sort of look and not very talkative {para} Quite wrong my dear aunt there is no likeness at all {para} Very odd but one never does form a just idea of any body beforehand One takes up a notion and runs away with it Mr Dixon you say is not strictly speaking handsome {para} Handsome Oh no far from it certainly plain I told you he was plain {para} My dear you said that Miss Campbell would not allow him to be plain and that you yourself {para} Oh as for me my judgment is worth nothing Where I have a regard I always think a person well looking But I gave what I believed the general opinion when I called him plain {para} Well my dear Jane I believe we must be running away The weather does not look well and grandmama will be uneasy You are too obliging my dear Miss Woodhouse but we really must take leave This has been a most agreeable piece of news indeed I shall just go round by Mrs Cole 's but I shall not stop three minutes and Jane you had better go home directly I would not have you out in a shower We think she is the better for Highbury already Thank you we do indeed I shall not attempt calling on Mrs Goddard for I really do not think she cares for any thing but boiled pork when we dress the leg it will be another thing Good morning to you my dear sir Oh Mr Knightley is coming too Well that is so very I am sure if Jane is tired you will be so kind as to give her your arm Mr Elton and Miss Hawkins Good morning to you {para} Emma alone with her father had half her attention wanted by him while he lamented that young people would be in such a hurry to marry and to marry strangers too and the other half she could give to her own view of the subject It was to herself an amusing and a very welcome piece of news as proving that Mr Elton could not have suffered long but she was sorry for Harriet Harriet must feel it and all that she could hope was by giving the first information herself to save her from hearing it abruptly from others It was now about the time that she was likely to call If she were to meet Miss Bates in her way and upon its beginning to rain Emma was obliged to expect that the weather would be detaining her at Mrs Goddard 's and that the intelligence would undoubtedly rush upon her without preparation {para} The shower was heavy but short and it had not been over five minutes when in came Harriet with just the heated agitated look which hurrying thither with a full heart was likely to give and the Oh Miss Woodhouse what do you think has happened which instantly burst forth had all the evidence of corresponding perturbation As the blow was given Emma felt that she could not now shew greater kindness than in listening and Harriet unchecked ran eagerly through what she had to tell She had set out from Mrs Goddard 's half an hour ago she had been afraid it would rain she had been afraid it would pour down every moment but she thought she might get to Hartfield first she had hurried on as fast as possible but then as she was passing by the house where a young woman was making up a gown for her she thought she would just step in and see how it went on and though she did not seem to stay half a moment there soon after she came out it began to rain and she did not know what to do so she ran on directly as fast as she could and took shelter at Ford 's Ford 's was the principal woollen draper linen draper and haberdasher 's shop united the shop first in size and fashion in the place And so there she had set without an idea of any thing in the world full ten minutes perhaps when all of a sudden who should come in to be sure it was so very odd but they always dealt at Ford 's who should come in but Elizabeth Martin and her brother Dear Miss Woodhouse only think I thought I should have fainted I did not know what to do I was sitting near the door Elizabeth saw me directly but he did not he was busy with the umbrella I am sure she saw me but she looked away directly and took no notice and they both went to quite the farther end of the shop and I kept sitting near the door Oh dear I was so miserable I am sure I must have been as white as my gown I could not go away you know because of the rain but I did so wish myself anywhere in the world but there Oh dear Miss Woodhouse well at last I fancy he looked round and saw me for instead of going on with her buyings they began whispering to one another I am sure they were talking of me and I could not help thinking that he was persuading her to speak to me do you think he was Miss Woodhouse for presently she came forward came quite up to me and asked me how I did and seemed ready to shake hands if I would She did not do any of it in the same way that she used I could see she was altered but however she seemed to try to be very friendly and we shook hands and stood talking some time but I know no more what I said I was in such a tremble I remember she said she was sorry we never met now which I thought almost too kind Dear Miss Woodhouse I was absolutely miserable By that time it was beginning to hold up and I was determined that nothing should stop me from getting away and then only think I found he was coming up towards me too slowly you know and as if he did not quite know what to do and so he came and spoke and I answered and I stood for a minute feeling dreadfully you know one can't tell how and then I took courage and said it did not rain and I must go and so off I set and I had not got three yards from the door when he came after me only to say if I was going to Hartfield he thought I had much better go round by Mr Cole 's stables for I should find the near way quite floated by this rain Oh dear I thought it would have been the death of me So I said I was very much obliged to him you know I could not do less and then he went back to Elizabeth and I came round by the stables I believe I did but I hardly knew where I was or any thing about it Oh Miss Woodhouse I would rather done any thing than have it happen and yet you know there was a sort of satisfaction in seeing him behave so pleasantly and so kindly And Elizabeth too Oh Miss Woodhouse do talk to me and make me comfortable again {para} Very sincerely did Emma wish to do so but it was not immediately in her power She was obliged to stop and think She was not thoroughly comfortable herself The young man 's conduct and his sister 's seemed the result of real feeling and she could not but pity them As Harriet described it there had been an interesting mixture of wounded affection and genuine delicacy in their behaviour But she had believed them to be well meaning worthy people before and what difference did this make in the evils of the connexion It was folly to be disturbed by it Of course he must be sorry to lose her they must be all sorry Ambition as well as love had probably been mortified They might all have hoped to rise by Harriet 's acquaintance and besides what was the value of Harriet 's description So easily pleased so little discerning what signified her praise {para} She exerted herself and did try to make her comfortable by considering all that had passed as a mere trifle and quite unworthy of being dwelt on {para} It might be distressing for the moment said she but you seem to have behaved extremely well and it is over and may never can never as a first meeting occur again and therefore you need not think about it {para} Harriet said very true and she would not think about it but still she talked of it still she could talk of nothing else and Emma at last in order to put the Martins out of her head was obliged to hurry on the news which she had meant to give with so much tender caution hardly knowing herself whether to rejoice or be angry ashamed or only amused at such a state of mind in poor Harriet such a conclusion of Mr Elton 's importance with her {para} Mr Elton 's rights however gradually revived Though she did not feel the first intelligence as she might have done the day before or an hour before its interest soon increased and before their first conversation was over she had talked herself into all the sensations of curiosity wonder and regret pain and pleasure as to this fortunate Miss Hawkins which could conduce to place the Martins under proper subordination in her fancy {para} Emma learned to be rather glad that there had been such a meeting It had been serviceable in deadening the first shock without retaining any influence to alarm As Harriet now lived the Martins could not get at her without seeking her where hitherto they had wanted either the courage or the condescension to seek her for since her refusal of the brother the sisters never had been at Mrs Goddard 's and a twelvemonth might pass without their being thrown together again with any necessity or even any power of speech {para} CHAPTER IV {para} Human nature is so well disposed towards those who are in interesting situations that a young person who either marries or dies is sure of being kindly spoken of {para} A week had not passed since Miss Hawkins 's name was first mentioned in Highbury before she was by some means or other discovered to have every recommendation of person and mind to be handsome elegant highly accomplished and perfectly amiable and when Mr Elton himself arrived to triumph in his happy prospects and circulate the fame of her merits there was very little more for him to do than to tell her Christian name and say whose music she principally played {para} Mr Elton returned a very happy man He had gone away rejected and mortified disappointed in a very sanguine hope after a series of what appeared to him strong encouragement and not only losing the right lady but finding himself debased to the level of a very wrong one He had gone away deeply offended he came back engaged to another and to another as superior of course to the first as under such circumstances what is gained always is to what is lost He came back gay and self satisfied eager and busy caring nothing for Miss Woodhouse and defying Miss Smith {para} The charming Augusta Hawkins in addition to all the usual advantages of perfect beauty and merit was in possession of an independent fortune of so many thousands as would always be called ten a point of some dignity as well as some convenience the story told well he had not thrown himself away he had gained a woman of 10000 l or thereabouts and he had gained her with such delightful rapidity the first hour of introduction had been so very soon followed by distinguishing notice the history which he had to give Mrs Cole of the rise and progress of the affair was so glorious the steps so quick from the accidental rencontre to the dinner at Mr Green 's and the party at Mrs Brown 's smiles and blushes rising in importance with consciousness and agitation richly scattered the lady had been so easily impressed so sweetly disposed had in short to use a most intelligible phrase been so very ready to have him that vanity and prudence were equally contented {para} He had caught both substance and shadow both fortune and affection and was just the happy man he ought to be talking only of himself and his own concerns expecting to be congratulated ready to be laughed at and with cordial fearless smiles now addressing all the young ladies of the place to whom a few weeks ago he would have been more cautiously gallant {para} The wedding was no distant event as the parties had only themselves to please and nothing but the necessary preparations to wait for and when he set out for Bath again there was a general expectation which a certain glance of Mrs Cole 's did not seem to contradict that when he next entered Highbury he would bring his bride {para} During his present short stay Emma had barely seen him but just enough to feel that the first meeting was over and to give her the impression of his not being improved by the mixture of pique and pretension now spread over his air She was in fact beginning very much to wonder that she had ever thought him pleasing at all and his sight was so inseparably connected with some very disagreeable feelings that except in a moral light as a penance a lesson a source of profitable humiliation to her own mind she would have been thankful to be assured of never seeing him again She wished him very well but he gave her pain and his welfare twenty miles off would administer most satisfaction {para} The pain of his continued residence in Highbury however must certainly be lessened by his marriage Many vain solicitudes would be prevented many awkwardnesses smoothed by it A Mrs Elton would be an excuse for any change of intercourse former intimacy might sink without remark It would be almost beginning their life of civility again {para} Of the lady individually Emma thought very little She was good enough for Mr Elton no doubt accomplished enough for Highbury handsome enough to look plain probably by Harriet 's side As to connexion there Emma was perfectly easy persuaded that after all his own vaunted claims and disdain of Harriet he had done nothing On that article truth seemed attainable What she was must be uncertain but who she was might be found out and setting aside the 10000 l it did not appear that she was at all Harriet 's superior She brought no name no blood no alliance Miss Hawkins was the youngest of the two daughters of a Bristol merchant of course he must be called but as the whole of the profits of his mercantile life appeared so very moderate it was not unfair to guess the dignity of his line of trade had been very moderate also Part of every winter she had been used to spend in Bath but Bristol was her home the very heart of Bristol for though the father and mother had died some years ago an uncle remained in the law line nothing more distinctly honourable was hazarded of him than that he was in the law line and with him the daughter had lived Emma guessed him to be the drudge of some attorney and too stupid to rise And all the grandeur of the connexion seemed dependent on the elder sister who was very well married to a gentleman in a great way near Bristol who kept two carriages That was the wind up of the history that was the glory of Miss Hawkins {para} Could she but have given Harriet her feelings about it all She had talked her into love but alas she was not so easily to be talked out of it The charm of an object to occupy the many vacancies of Harriet 's mind was not to be talked away He might be superseded by another he certainly would indeed nothing could be clearer even a Robert Martin would have been sufficient but nothing else she feared would cure her Harriet was one of those who having once begun would be always in love And now poor girl she was considerably worse from this reappearance of Mr Elton She was always having a glimpse of him somewhere or other Emma saw him only once but two or three times every day Harriet was sure just to meet with him or just to miss him just to hear his voice or see his shoulder just to have something occur to preserve him in her fancy in all the favouring warmth of surprize and conjecture She was moreover perpetually hearing about him for excepting when at Hartfield she was always among those who saw no fault in Mr Elton and found nothing so interesting as the discussion of his concerns and every report therefore every guess all that had already occurred all that might occur in the arrangement of his affairs comprehending income servants and furniture was continually in agitation around her Her regard was receiving strength by invariable praise of him and her regrets kept alive and feelings irritated by ceaseless repetitions of Miss Hawkins 's happiness and continual observation of how much he seemed attached his air as he walked by the house the very sitting of his hat being all in proof of how much he was in love {para} Had it been allowable entertainment had there been no pain to her friend or reproach to herself in the waverings of Harriet 's mind Emma would have been amused by its variations Sometimes Mr Elton predominated sometimes the Martins and each was occasionally useful as a check to the other Mr Elton 's engagement had been the cure of the agitation of meeting Mr Martin The unhappiness produced by the knowledge of that engagement had been a little put aside by Elizabeth Martin 's calling at Mrs Goddard 's a few days afterwards Harriet had not been at home but a note had been prepared and left for her written in the very style to touch a small mixture of reproach with a great deal of kindness and till Mr Elton himself appeared she had been much occupied by it continually pondering over what could be done in return and wishing to do more than she dared to confess But Mr Elton in person had driven away all such cares While he staid the Martins were forgotten and on the very morning of his setting off for Bath again Emma to dissipate some of the distress it occasioned judged it best for her to return Elizabeth Martin 's visit {para} How that visit was to be acknowledged what would be necessary and what might be safest had been a point of some doubtful consideration Absolute neglect of the mother and sisters when invited to come would be ingratitude It must not be and yet the danger of a renewal of the acquaintance {para} After much thinking she could determine on nothing better than Harriet 's returning the visit but in a way that if they had understanding should convince them that it was to be only a formal acquaintance She meant to take her in the carriage leave her at the Abbey Mill while she drove a little farther and call for her again so soon as to allow no time for insidious applications or dangerous recurrences to the past and give the most decided proof of what degree of intimacy was chosen for the future {para} She could think of nothing better and though there was something in it which her own heart could not approve something of ingratitude merely glossed over it must be done or what would become of Harriet {para} CHAPTER V {para} Small heart had Harriet for visiting Only half an hour before her friend called for her at Mrs Goddard 's her evil stars had led her to the very spot where at that moment a trunk directed to The Rev Philip Elton White Hart Bath was to be seen under the operation of being lifted into the butcher 's cart which was to convey it to where the coaches past and every thing in this world excepting that trunk and the direction was consequently a blank {para} She went however and when they reached the farm and she was to be put down at the end of the broad neat gravel walk which led between espalier apple trees to the front door the sight of every thing which had given her so much pleasure the autumn before was beginning to revive a little local agitation and when they parted Emma observed her to be looking around with a sort of fearful curiosity which determined her not to allow the visit to exceed the proposed quarter of an hour She went on herself to give that portion of time to an old servant who was married and settled in Donwell {para} The quarter of an hour brought her punctually to the white gate again and Miss Smith receiving her summons was with her without delay and unattended by any alarming young man She came solitarily down the gravel walk a Miss Martin just appearing at the door and parting with her seemingly with ceremonious civility {para} Harriet could not very soon give an intelligible account She was feeling too much but at last Emma collected from her enough to understand the sort of meeting and the sort of pain it was creating She had seen only Mrs Martin and the two girls They had received her doubtingly if not coolly and nothing beyond the merest commonplace had been talked almost all the time till just at last when Mrs Martin 's saying all of a sudden that she thought Miss Smith was grown had brought on a more interesting subject and a warmer manner In that very room she had been measured last September with her two friends There were the pencilled marks and memorandums on the wainscot by the window He had done it They all seemed to remember the day the hour the party the occasion to feel the same consciousness the same regrets to be ready to return to the same good understanding and they were just growing again like themselves Harriet as Emma must suspect as ready as the best of them to be cordial and happy when the carriage reappeared and all was over The style of the visit and the shortness of it were then felt to be decisive Fourteen minutes to be given to those with whom she had thankfully passed six weeks not six months ago Emma could not but picture it all and feel how justly they might resent how naturally Harriet must suffer It was a bad business She would have given a great deal or endured a great deal to have had the Martins in a higher rank of life They were so deserving that a little higher should have been enough but as it was how could she have done otherwise Impossible She could not repent They must be separated but there was a great deal of pain in the process so much to herself at this time that she soon felt the necessity of a little consolation and resolved on going home by way of Randalls to procure it Her mind was quite sick of Mr Elton and the Martins The refreshment of Randalls was absolutely necessary {para} It was a good scheme but on driving to the door they heard that neither master nor mistress was at home they had both been out some time the man believed they were gone to Hartfield {para} This is too bad cried Emma as they turned away And now we shall just miss them too provoking I do not know when I have been so disappointed And she leaned back in the corner to indulge her murmurs or to reason them away probably a little of both such being the commonest process of a not ill disposed mind Presently the carriage stopt she looked up it was stopt by Mr and Mrs Weston who were standing to speak to her There was instant pleasure in the sight of them and still greater pleasure was conveyed in sound for Mr Weston immediately accosted her with {para} How d'ye do how d'ye do We have been sitting with your father glad to see him so well Frank comes to morrow I had a letter this morning we see him to morrow by dinner time to a certainty he is at Oxford to day and he comes for a whole fortnight I knew it would be so If he had come at Christmas he could not have staid three days I was always glad he did not come at Christmas now we are going to have just the right weather for him fine dry settled weather We shall enjoy him completely every thing has turned out exactly as we could wish {para} There was no resisting such news no possibility of avoiding the influence of such a happy face as Mr Weston 's confirmed as it all was by the words and the countenance of his wife fewer and quieter but not less to the purpose To know that she thought his coming certain was enough to make Emma consider it so and sincerely did she rejoice in their joy It was a most delightful reanimation of exhausted spirits The worn out past was sunk in the freshness of what was coming and in the rapidity of half a moment 's thought she hoped Mr Elton would now be talked of no more {para} Mr Weston gave her the history of the engagements at Enscombe which allowed his son to answer for having an entire fortnight at his command as well as the route and the method of his journey and she listened and smiled and congratulated {para} I shall soon bring him over to Hartfield said he at the conclusion {para} Emma could imagine she saw a touch of the arm at this speech from his wife {para} We had better move on Mr Weston said she we are detaining the girls {para} Well well I am ready and turning again to Emma but you must not be expecting such a very fine young man you have only had my account you know I dare say he is really nothing extraordinary though his own sparkling eyes at the moment were speaking a very different conviction {para} Emma could look perfectly unconscious and innocent and answer in a manner that appropriated nothing {para} Think of me to morrow my dear Emma about four o'clock was Mrs Weston 's parting injunction spoken with some anxiety and meant only for her {para} Four o'clock depend upon it he will be here by three was Mr Weston 's quick amendment and so ended a most satisfactory meeting Emma 's spirits were mounted quite up to happiness every thing wore a different air James and his horses seemed not half so sluggish as before When she looked at the hedges she thought the elder at least must soon be coming out and when she turned round to Harriet she saw something like a look of spring a tender smile even there {para} Will Mr Frank Churchill pass through Bath as well as Oxford was a question however which did not augur much {para} But neither geography nor tranquillity could come all at once and Emma was now in a humour to resolve that they should both come in time {para} The morning of the interesting day arrived and Mrs Weston 's faithful pupil did not forget either at ten or eleven or twelve o'clock that she was to think of her at four {para} My dear dear anxious friend said she in mental soliloquy while walking downstairs from her own room always overcareful for every body 's comfort but your own I see you now in all your little fidgets going again and again into his room to be sure that all is right The clock struck twelve as she passed through the hall Tis twelve I shall not forget to think of you four hours hence and by this time to morrow perhaps or a little later I may be thinking of the possibility of their all calling here I am sure they will bring him soon {para} She opened the parlour door and saw two gentlemen sitting with her father Mr Weston and his son They had been arrived only a few minutes and Mr Weston had scarcely finished his explanation of Frank 's being a day before his time and her father was yet in the midst of his very civil welcome and congratulations when she appeared to have her share of surprize introduction and pleasure {para} The Frank Churchill so long talked of so high in interest was actually before her he was presented to her and she did not think too much had been said in his praise he was a very good looking young man height air address all were unexceptionable and his countenance had a great deal of the spirit and liveliness of his father 's he looked quick and sensible She felt immediately that she should like him and there was a well bred ease of manner and a readiness to talk which convinced her that he came intending to be acquainted with her and that acquainted they soon must be {para} He had reached Randalls the evening before She was pleased with the eagerness to arrive which had made him alter his plan and travel earlier later and quicker that he might gain half a day {para} I told you yesterday cried Mr Weston with exultation I told you all that he would be here before the time named I remembered what I used to do myself One cannot creep upon a journey one cannot help getting on faster than one has planned and the pleasure of coming in upon one 's friends before the look out begins is worth a great deal more than any little exertion it needs {para} It is a great pleasure where one can indulge in it said the young man though there are not many houses that I should presume on so far but in coming home I felt I might do any thing {para} The word home made his father look on him with fresh complacency Emma was directly sure that he knew how to make himself agreeable the conviction was strengthened by what followed He was very much pleased with Randalls thought it a most admirably arranged house would hardly allow it even to be very small admired the situation the walk to Highbury Highbury itself Hartfield still more and professed himself to have always felt the sort of interest in the country which none but one 's own country gives and the greatest curiosity to visit it That he should never have been able to indulge so amiable a feeling before passed suspiciously through Emma 's brain but still if it were a falsehood it was a pleasant one and pleasantly handled His manner had no air of study or exaggeration He did really look and speak as if in a state of no common enjoyment {para} Their subjects in general were such as belong to an opening acquaintance On his side were the inquiries Was she a horsewoman Pleasant rides Pleasant walks Had they a large neighbourhood Highbury perhaps afforded society enough There were several very pretty houses in and about it Balls had they balls Was it a musical society {para} But when satisfied on all these points and their acquaintance proportionably advanced he contrived to find an opportunity while their two fathers were engaged with each other of introducing his mother in law and speaking of her with so much handsome praise so much warm admiration so much gratitude for the happiness she secured to his father and her very kind reception of himself as was an additional proof of his knowing how to please and of his certainly thinking it worth while to try to please her He did not advance a word of praise beyond what she knew to be thoroughly deserved by Mrs Weston but undoubtedly he could know very little of the matter He understood what would be welcome he could be sure of little else His father 's marriage he said had been the wisest measure every friend must rejoice in it and the family from whom he had received such a blessing must be ever considered as having conferred the highest obligation on him {para} He got as near as he could to thanking her for Miss Taylor 's merits without seeming quite to forget that in the common course of things it was to be rather supposed that Miss Taylor had formed Miss Woodhouse 's character than Miss Woodhouse Miss Taylor 's And at last as if resolved to qualify his opinion completely for travelling round to its object he wound it all up with astonishment at the youth and beauty of her person {para} Elegant agreeable manners I was prepared for said he but I confess that considering every thing I had not expected more than a very tolerably well looking woman of a certain age I did not know that I was to find a pretty young woman in Mrs Weston {para} You cannot see too much perfection in Mrs Weston for my feelings said Emma were you to guess her to be eighteen I should listen with pleasure but she would be ready to quarrel with you for using such words Don't let her imagine that you have spoken of her as a pretty young woman {para} I hope I should know better he replied no depend upon it with a gallant bow that in addressing Mrs Weston I should understand whom I might praise without any danger of being thought extravagant in my terms {para} Emma wondered whether the same suspicion of what might be expected from their knowing each other which had taken strong possession of her mind had ever crossed his and whether his compliments were to be considered as marks of acquiescence or proofs of defiance She must see more of him to understand his ways at present she only felt they were agreeable {para} She had no doubt of what Mr Weston was often thinking about His quick eye she detected again and again glancing towards them with a happy expression and even when he might have determined not to look she was confident that he was often listening {para} Her own father 's perfect exemption from any thought of the kind the entire deficiency in him of all such sort of penetration or suspicion was a most comfortable circumstance Happily he was not farther from approving matrimony than from foreseeing it Though always objecting to every marriage that was arranged he never suffered beforehand from the apprehension of any it seemed as if he could not think so ill of any two persons understanding as to suppose they meant to marry till it were proved against them She blessed the favouring blindness He could now without the drawback of a single unpleasant surmise without a glance forward at any possible treachery in his guest give way to all his natural kind hearted civility in solicitous inquiries after Mr Frank Churchill 's accommodation on his journey through the sad evils of sleeping two nights on the road and express very genuine unmixed anxiety to know that he had certainly escaped catching cold which however he could not allow him to feel quite assured of himself till after another night {para} A reasonable visit paid Mr Weston began to move He must be going He had business at the Crown about his hay and a great many errands for Mrs Weston at Ford 's but he need not hurry any body else His son too well bred to hear the hint rose immediately also saying {para} As you are going farther on business sir I will take the opportunity of paying a visit which must be paid some day or other and therefore may as well be paid now I have the honour of being acquainted with a neighbour of yours turning to Emma a lady residing in or near Highbury a family of the name of Fairfax I shall have no difficulty I suppose in finding the house though Fairfax I believe is not the proper name I should rather say Barnes or Bates Do you know any family of that name {para} To be sure we do cried his father Mrs Bates we passed her house I saw Miss Bates at the window True true you are acquainted with Miss Fairfax I remember you knew her at Weymouth and a fine girl she is Call upon her by all means {para} There is no necessity for my calling this morning said the young man another day would do as well but there was that degree of acquaintance at Weymouth which {para} Oh go to day go to day Do not defer it What is right to be done cannot be done too soon And besides I must give you a hint Frank any want of attention to her here should be carefully avoided You saw her with the Campbells when she was the equal of every body she mixed with but here she is with a poor old grandmother who has barely enough to live on If you do not call early it will be a slight {para} The son looked convinced {para} I have heard her speak of the acquaintance said Emma she is a very elegant young woman {para} He agreed to it but with so quiet a Yes as inclined her almost to doubt his real concurrence and yet there must be a very distinct sort of elegance for the fashionable world if Jane Fairfax could be thought only ordinarily gifted with it {para} If you were never particularly struck by her manners before said she I think you will to day You will see her to advantage see her and hear her no I am afraid you will not hear her at all for she has an aunt who never holds her tongue {para} You are acquainted with Miss Jane Fairfax sir are you said Mr Woodhouse always the last to make his way in conversation then give me leave to assure you that you will find her a very agreeable young lady She is staying here on a visit to her grandmama and aunt very worthy people I have known them all my life They will be extremely glad to see you I am sure and one of my servants shall go with you to shew you the way {para} My dear sir upon no account in the world my father can direct me {para} But your father is not going so far he is only going to the Crown quite on the other side of the street and there are a great many houses you might be very much at a loss and it is a very dirty walk unless you keep on the footpath but my coachman can tell you where you had best cross the street {para} Mr Frank Churchill still declined it looking as serious as he could and his father gave his hearty support by calling out My good friend this is quite unnecessary Frank knows a puddle of water when he sees it and as to Mrs Bates 's he may get there from the Crown in a hop step and jump {para} They were permitted to go alone and with a cordial nod from one and a graceful bow from the other the two gentlemen took leave Emma remained very well pleased with this beginning of the acquaintance and could now engage to think of them all at Randalls any hour of the day with full confidence in their comfort {para} CHAPTER VI {para} The next morning brought Mr Frank Churchill again He came with Mrs Weston to whom and to Highbury he seemed to take very cordially He had been sitting with her it appeared most companionably at home till her usual hour of exercise and on being desired to chuse their walk immediately fixed on Highbury He did not doubt there being very pleasant walks in every direction but if left to him he should always chuse the same Highbury that airy cheerful happy looking Highbury would be his constant attraction Highbury with Mrs Weston stood for Hartfield and she trusted to its bearing the same construction with him They walked thither directly {para} Emma had hardly expected them for Mr Weston who had called in for half a minute in order to hear that his son was very handsome knew nothing of their plans and it was an agreeable surprize to her therefore to perceive them walking up to the house together arm in arm She was wanting to see him again and especially to see him in company with Mrs Weston upon his behaviour to whom her opinion of him was to depend If he were deficient there nothing should make amends for it But on seeing them together she became perfectly satisfied It was not merely in fine words or hyperbolical compliment that he paid his duty nothing could be more proper or pleasing than his whole manner to her nothing could more agreeably denote his wish of considering her as a friend and securing her affection And there was time enough for Emma to form a reasonable judgment as their visit included all the rest of the morning They were all three walking about together for an hour or two first round the shrubberies of Hartfield and afterwards in Highbury He was delighted with every thing admired Hartfield sufficiently for Mr Woodhouse 's ear and when their going farther was resolved on confessed his wish to be made acquainted with the whole village and found matter of commendation and interest much oftener than Emma could have supposed {para} Some of the objects of his curiosity spoke very amiable feelings He begged to be shewn the house which his father had lived in so long and which had been the home of his father 's father and on recollecting that an old woman who had nursed him was still living walked in quest of her cottage from one end of the street to the other and though in some points of pursuit or observation there was no positive merit they shewed altogether a good will towards Highbury in general which must be very like a merit to those he was with {para} Emma watched and decided that with such feelings as were now shewn it could not be fairly supposed that he had been ever voluntarily absenting himself that he had not been acting a part or making a parade of insincere professions and that Mr Knightley certainly had not done him justice {para} Their first pause was at the Crown Inn an inconsiderable house though the principal one of the sort where a couple of pair of post horses were kept more for the convenience of the neighbourhood than from any run on the road and his companions had not expected to be detained by any interest excited there but in passing it they gave the history of the large room visibly added it had been built many years ago for a ball room and while the neighbourhood had been in a particularly populous dancing state had been occasionally used as such but such brilliant days had long passed away and now the highest purpose for which it was ever wanted was to accommodate a whist club established among the gentlemen and half gentlemen of the place He was immediately interested Its character as a ball room caught him and instead of passing on he stopt for several minutes at the two superior sashed windows which were open to look in and contemplate its capabilities and lament that its original purpose should have ceased He saw no fault in the room he would acknowledge none which they suggested No it was long enough broad enough handsome enough It would hold the very number for comfort They ought to have balls there at least every fortnight through the winter Why had not Miss Woodhouse revived the former good old days of the room She who could do any thing in Highbury The want of proper families in the place and the conviction that none beyond the place and its immediate environs could be tempted to attend were mentioned but he was not satisfied He could not be persuaded that so many good looking houses as he saw around him could not furnish numbers enough for such a meeting and even when particulars were given and families described he was still unwilling to admit that the inconvenience of such a mixture would be any thing or that there would be the smallest difficulty in every body 's returning into their proper place the next morning He argued like a young man very much bent on dancing and Emma was rather surprized to see the constitution of the Weston prevail so decidedly against the habits of the Churchills He seemed to have all the life and spirit cheerful feelings and social inclinations of his father and nothing of the pride or reserve of Enscombe Of pride indeed there was perhaps scarcely enough his indifference to a confusion of rank bordered too much on inelegance of mind He could be no judge however of the evil he was holding cheap It was but an effusion of lively spirits {para} At last he was persuaded to move on from the front of the Crown and being now almost facing the house where the Bateses lodged Emma recollected his intended visit the day before and asked him if he had paid it {para} Yes oh yes he replied I was just going to mention it A very successful visit I saw all the three ladies and felt very much obliged to you for your preparatory hint If the talking aunt had taken me quite by surprize it must have been the death of me As it was I was only betrayed into paying a most unreasonable visit Ten minutes would have been all that was necessary perhaps all that was proper and I had told my father I should certainly be at home before him but there was no getting away no pause and to my utter astonishment I found when he finding me nowhere else joined me there at last that I had been actually sitting with them very nearly three quarters of an hour The good lady had not given me the possibility of escape before {para} And how did you think Miss Fairfax looking {para} Ill very ill that is if a young lady can ever be allowed to look ill But the expression is hardly admissible Mrs Weston is it Ladies can never look ill And seriously Miss Fairfax is naturally so pale as almost always to give the appearance of ill health A most deplorable want of complexion {para} Emma would not agree to this and began a warm defence of Miss Fairfax 's complexion It was certainly never brilliant but she would not allow it to have a sickly hue in general and there was a softness and delicacy in her skin which gave peculiar elegance to the character of her face He listened with all due deference acknowledged that he had heard many people say the same but yet he must confess that to him nothing could make amends for the want of the fine glow of health Where features were indifferent a fine complexion gave beauty to them all and where they were good the effect was fortunately he need not attempt to describe what the effect was {para} Well said Emma there is no disputing about taste At least you admire her except her complexion {para} He shook his head and laughed I cannot separate Miss Fairfax and her complexion {para} Did you see her often at Weymouth Were you often in the same society {para} At this moment they were approaching Ford 's and he hastily exclaimed Ha this must be the very shop that every body attends every day of their lives as my father informs me He comes to Highbury himself he says six days out of the seven and has always business at Ford 's If it be not inconvenient to you pray let us go in that I may prove myself to belong to the place to be a true citizen of Highbury I must buy something at Ford 's It will be taking out my freedom I dare say they sell gloves {para} Oh yes gloves and every thing I do admire your patriotism You will be adored in Highbury You were very popular before you came because you were Mr Weston 's son but lay out half a guinea at Ford 's and your popularity will stand upon your own virtues {para} They went in and while the sleek well tied parcels of Men 's Beavers and York Tan were bringing down and displaying on the counter he said But I beg your pardon Miss Woodhouse you were speaking to me you were saying something at the very moment of this burst of my amor patriae Do not let me lose it I assure you the utmost stretch of public fame would not make me amends for the loss of any happiness in private life {para} I merely asked whether you had known much of Miss Fairfax and her party at Weymouth {para} And now that I understand your question I must pronounce it to be a very unfair one It is always the lady 's right to decide on the degree of acquaintance Miss Fairfax must already have given her account I shall not commit myself by claiming more than she may chuse to allow {para} Upon my word you answer as discreetly as she could do herself But her account of every thing leaves so much to be guessed she is so very reserved so very unwilling to give the least information about any body that I really think you may say what you like of your acquaintance with her {para} May I indeed Then I will speak the truth and nothing suits me so well I met her frequently at Weymouth I had known the Campbells a little in town and at Weymouth we were very much in the same set Colonel Campbell is a very agreeable man and Mrs Campbell a friendly warm hearted woman I like them all {para} You know Miss Fairfax 's situation in life I conclude what she is destined to be {para} Yes rather hesitatingly I believe I do {para} You get upon delicate subjects Emma said Mrs Weston smiling remember that I am here Mr Frank Churchill hardly knows what to say when you speak of Miss Fairfax 's situation in life I will move a little farther off {para} I certainly do forget to think of her said Emma as having ever been any thing but my friend and my dearest friend {para} He looked as if he fully understood and honoured such a sentiment {para} When the gloves were bought and they had quitted the shop again Did you ever hear the young lady we were speaking of play said Frank Churchill {para} Ever hear her repeated Emma You forget how much she belongs to Highbury I have heard her every year of our lives since we both began She plays charmingly {para} You think so do you I wanted the opinion of some one who could really judge She appeared to me to play well that is with considerable taste but I know nothing of the matter myself I am excessively fond of music but without the smallest skill or right of judging of any body 's performance I have been used to hear her 's admired and I remember one proof of her being thought to play well a man a very musical man and in love with another woman engaged to her on the point of marriage would yet never ask that other woman to sit down to the instrument if the lady in question could sit down instead never seemed to like to hear one if he could hear the other That I thought in a man of known musical talent was some proof {para} Proof indeed said Emma highly amused Mr Dixon is very musical is he We shall know more about them all in half an hour from you than Miss Fairfax would have vouchsafed in half a year {para} Yes Mr Dixon and Miss Campbell were the persons and I thought it a very strong proof {para} Certainly very strong it was to own the truth a great deal stronger than if I had been Miss Campbell would have been at all agreeable to me I could not excuse a man 's having more music than love more ear than eye a more acute sensibility to fine sounds than to my feelings How did Miss Campbell appear to like it {para} It was her very particular friend you know {para} Poor comfort said Emma laughing One would rather have a stranger preferred than one 's very particular friend with a stranger it might not recur again but the misery of having a very particular friend always at hand to do every thing better than one does oneself Poor Mrs Dixon Well I am glad she is gone to settle in Ireland {para} You are right It was not very flattering to Miss Campbell but she really did not seem to feel it {para} So much the better or so much the worse I do not know which But be it sweetness or be it stupidity in her quickness of friendship or dulness of feeling there was one person I think who must have felt it Miss Fairfax herself She must have felt the improper and dangerous distinction {para} As to that I do not {para} Oh do not imagine that I expect an account of Miss Fairfax 's sensations from you or from any body else They are known to no human being I guess but herself But if she continued to play whenever she was asked by Mr Dixon one may guess what one chuses {para} There appeared such a perfectly good understanding among them all he began rather quickly but checking himself added however it is impossible for me to say on what terms they really were how it might all be behind the scenes I can only say that there was smoothness outwardly But you who have known Miss Fairfax from a child must be a better judge of her character and of how she is likely to conduct herself in critical situations than I can be {para} I have known her from a child undoubtedly we have been children and women together and it is natural to suppose that we should be intimate that we should have taken to each other whenever she visited her friends But we never did I hardly know how it has happened a little perhaps from that wickedness on my side which was prone to take disgust towards a girl so idolized and so cried up as she always was by her aunt and grandmother and all their set And then her reserve I never could attach myself to any one so completely reserved {para} It is a most repulsive quality indeed said he Oftentimes very convenient no doubt but never pleasing There is safety in reserve but no attraction One cannot love a reserved person {para} Not till the reserve ceases towards oneself and then the attraction may be the greater But I must be more in want of a friend or an agreeable companion than I have yet been to take the trouble of conquering any body 's reserve to procure one Intimacy between Miss Fairfax and me is quite out of the question I have no reason to think ill of her not the least except that such extreme and perpetual cautiousness of word and manner such a dread of giving a distinct idea about any body is apt to suggest suspicions of there being something to conceal {para} He perfectly agreed with her and after walking together so long and thinking so much alike Emma felt herself so well acquainted with him that she could hardly believe it to be only their second meeting He was not exactly what she had expected less of the man of the world in some of his notions less of the spoiled child of fortune therefore better than she had expected His ideas seemed more moderate his feelings warmer She was particularly struck by his manner of considering Mr Elton 's house which as well as the church he would go and look at and would not join them in finding much fault with No he could not believe it a bad house not such a house as a man was to be pitied for having If it were to be shared with the woman he loved he could not think any man to be pitied for having that house There must be ample room in it for every real comfort The man must be a blockhead who wanted more {para} Mrs Weston laughed and said he did not know what he was talking about Used only to a large house himself and without ever thinking how many advantages and accommodations were attached to its size he could be no judge of the privations inevitably belonging to a small one But Emma in her own mind determined that he did know what he was talking about and that he shewed a very amiable inclination to settle early in life and to marry from worthy motives He might not be aware of the inroads on domestic peace to be occasioned by no housekeeper 's room or a bad butler 's pantry but no doubt he did perfectly feel that Enscombe could not make him happy and that whenever he were attached he would willingly give up much of wealth to be allowed an early establishment {para} CHAPTER VII {para} Emma 's very good opinion of Frank Churchill was a little shaken the following day by hearing that he was gone off to London merely to have his hair cut A sudden freak seemed to have seized him at breakfast and he had sent for a chaise and set off intending to return to dinner but with no more important view that appeared than having his hair cut There was certainly no harm in his travelling sixteen miles twice over on such an errand but there was an air of foppery and nonsense in it which she could not approve It did not accord with the rationality of plan the moderation in expense or even the unselfish warmth of heart which she had believed herself to discern in him yesterday Vanity extravagance love of change restlessness of temper which must be doing something good or bad heedlessness as to the pleasure of his father and Mrs Weston indifferent as to how his conduct might appear in general he became liable to all these charges His father only called him a coxcomb and thought it a very good story but that Mrs Weston did not like it was clear enough by her passing it over as quickly as possible and making no other comment than that all young people would have their little whims {para} With the exception of this little blot Emma found that his visit hitherto had given her friend only good ideas of him Mrs Weston was very ready to say how attentive and pleasant a companion he made himself how much she saw to like in his disposition altogether He appeared to have a very open temper certainly a very cheerful and lively one she could observe nothing wrong in his notions a great deal decidedly right he spoke of his uncle with warm regard was fond of talking of him said he would be the best man in the world if he were left to himself and though there was no being attached to the aunt he acknowledged her kindness with gratitude and seemed to mean always to speak of her with respect This was all very promising and but for such an unfortunate fancy for having his hair cut there was nothing to denote him unworthy of the distinguished honour which her imagination had given him the honour if not of being really in love with her of being at least very near it and saved only by her own indifference for still her resolution held of never marrying the honour in short of being marked out for her by all their joint acquaintance {para} Mr Weston on his side added a virtue to the account which must have some weight He gave her to understand that Frank admired her extremely thought her very beautiful and very charming and with so much to be said for him altogether she found she must not judge him harshly As Mrs Weston observed all young people would have their little whims {para} There was one person among his new acquaintance in Surry not so leniently disposed In general he was judged throughout the parishes of Donwell and Highbury with great candour liberal allowances were made for the little excesses of such a handsome young man one who smiled so often and bowed so well but there was one spirit among them not to be softened from its power of censure by bows or smiles Mr Knightley The circumstance was told him at Hartfield for the moment he was silent but Emma heard him almost immediately afterwards say to himself over a newspaper he held in his hand Hum just the trifling silly fellow I took him for She had half a mind to resent but an instant 's observation convinced her that it was really said only to relieve his own feelings and not meant to provoke and therefore she let it pass {para} Although in one instance the bearers of not good tidings Mr and Mrs Weston 's visit this morning was in another respect particularly opportune Something occurred while they were at Hartfield to make Emma want their advice and which was still more lucky she wanted exactly the advice they gave {para} This was the occurrence The Coles had been settled some years in Highbury and were very good sort of people friendly liberal and unpretending but on the other hand they were of low origin in trade and only moderately genteel On their first coming into the country they had lived in proportion to their income quietly keeping little company and that little unexpensively but the last year or two had brought them a considerable increase of means the house in town had yielded greater profits and fortune in general had smiled on them With their wealth their views increased their want of a larger house their inclination for more company They added to their house to their number of servants to their expenses of every sort and by this time were in fortune and style of living second only to the family at Hartfield Their love of society and their new dining room prepared every body for their keeping dinner company and a few parties chiefly among the single men had already taken place The regular and best families Emma could hardly suppose they would presume to invite neither Donwell nor Hartfield nor Randalls Nothing should tempt her to go if they did and she regretted that her father 's known habits would be giving her refusal less meaning than she could wish The Coles were very respectable in their way but they ought to be taught that it was not for them to arrange the terms on which the superior families would visit them This lesson she very much feared they would receive only from herself she had little hope of Mr Knightley none of Mr Weston {para} But she had made up her mind how to meet this presumption so many weeks before it appeared that when the insult came at last it found her very differently affected Donwell and Randalls had received their invitation and none had come for her father and herself and Mrs Weston 's accounting for it with I suppose they will not take the liberty with you they know you do not dine out was not quite sufficient She felt that she should like to have had the power of refusal and afterwards as the idea of the party to be assembled there consisting precisely of those whose society was dearest to her occurred again and again she did not know that she might not have been tempted to accept Harriet was to be there in the evening and the Bateses They had been speaking of it as they walked about Highbury the day before and Frank Churchill had most earnestly lamented her absence Might not the evening end in a dance had been a question of his The bare possibility of it acted as a farther irritation on her spirits and her being left in solitary grandeur even supposing the omission to be intended as a compliment was but poor comfort {para} It was the arrival of this very invitation while the Westons were at Hartfield which made their presence so acceptable for though her first remark on reading it was that of course it must be declined she so very soon proceeded to ask them what they advised her to do that their advice for her going was most prompt and successful {para} She owned that considering every thing she was not absolutely without inclination for the party The Coles expressed themselves so properly there was so much real attention in the manner of it so much consideration for her father They would have solicited the honour earlier but had been waiting the arrival of a folding screen from London which they hoped might keep Mr Woodhouse from any draught of air and therefore induce him the more readily to give them the honour of his company Upon the whole she was very persuadable and it being briefly settled among themselves how it might be done without neglecting his comfort how certainly Mrs Goddard if not Mrs Bates might be depended on for bearing him company Mr Woodhouse was to be talked into an acquiescence of his daughter 's going out to dinner on a day now near at hand and spending the whole evening away from him As for his going Emma did not wish him to think it possible the hours would be too late and the party too numerous He was soon pretty well resigned {para} I am not fond of dinner visiting said he I never was No more is Emma Late hours do not agree with us I am sorry Mr and Mrs Cole should have done it I think it would be much better if they would come in one afternoon next summer and take their tea with us take us in their afternoon walk which they might do as our hours are so reasonable and yet get home without being out in the damp of the evening The dews of a summer evening are what I would not expose any body to However as they are so very desirous to have dear Emma dine with them and as you will both be there and Mr Knightley too to take care of her I cannot wish to prevent it provided the weather be what it ought neither damp nor cold nor windy Then turning to Mrs Weston with a look of gentle reproach Ah Miss Taylor if you had not married you would have staid at home with me {para} Well sir cried Mr Weston as I took Miss Taylor away it is incumbent on me to supply her place if I can and I will step to Mrs Goddard in a moment if you wish it {para} But the idea of any thing to be done in a moment was increasing not lessening Mr Woodhouse 's agitation The ladies knew better how to allay it Mr Weston must be quiet and every thing deliberately arranged {para} With this treatment Mr Woodhouse was soon composed enough for talking as usual He should be happy to see Mrs Goddard He had a great regard for Mrs Goddard and Emma should write a line and invite her James could take the note But first of all there must be an answer written to Mrs Cole {para} You will make my excuses my dear as civilly as possible You will say that I am quite an invalid and go no where and therefore must decline their obliging invitation beginning with my compliments of course But you will do every thing right I need not tell you what is to be done We must remember to let James know that the carriage will be wanted on Tuesday I shall have no fears for you with him We have never been there above once since the new approach was made but still I have no doubt that James will take you very safely And when you get there you must tell him at what time you would have him come for you again and you had better name an early hour You will not like staying late You will get very tired when tea is over {para} But you would not wish me to come away before I am tired papa {para} Oh no my love but you will soon be tired There will be a great many people talking at once You will not like the noise {para} But my dear sir cried Mr Weston if Emma comes away early it will be breaking up the party {para} And no great harm if it does said Mr Woodhouse The sooner every party breaks up the better {para} But you do not consider how it may appear to the Coles Emma 's going away directly after tea might be giving offence They are good natured people and think little of their own claims but still they must feel that any body 's hurrying away is no great compliment and Miss Woodhouse 's doing it would be more thought of than any other person 's in the room You would not wish to disappoint and mortify the Coles I am sure sir friendly good sort of people as ever lived and who have been your neighbours these ten years {para} No upon no account in the world Mr Weston I am much obliged to you for reminding me I should be extremely sorry to be giving them any pain I know what worthy people they are Perry tells me that Mr Cole never touches malt liquor You would not think it to look at him but he is bilious Mr Cole is very bilious No I would not be the means of giving them any pain My dear Emma we must consider this I am sure rather than run the risk of hurting Mr and Mrs Cole you would stay a little longer than you might wish You will not regard being tired You will be perfectly safe you know among your friends {para} Oh yes papa I have no fears at all for myself and I should have no scruples of staying as late as Mrs Weston but on your account I am only afraid of your sitting up for me I am not afraid of your not being exceedingly comfortable with Mrs Goddard She loves piquet you know but when she is gone home I am afraid you will be sitting up by yourself instead of going to bed at your usual time and the idea of that would entirely destroy my comfort You must promise me not to sit up {para} He did on the condition of some promises on her side such as that if she came home cold she would be sure to warm herself thoroughly if hungry that she would take something to eat that her own maid should sit up for her and that Serle and the butler should see that every thing were safe in the house as usual {para} CHAPTER VIII {para} Frank Churchill came back again and if he kept his father 's dinner waiting it was not known at Hartfield for Mrs Weston was too anxious for his being a favourite with Mr Woodhouse to betray any imperfection which could be concealed {para} He came back had had his hair cut and laughed at himself with a very good grace but without seeming really at all ashamed of what he had done He had no reason to wish his hair longer to conceal any confusion of face no reason to wish the money unspent to improve his spirits He was quite as undaunted and as lively as ever and after seeing him Emma thus moralised to herself {para} I do not know whether it ought to be so but certainly silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way Wickedness is always wickedness but folly is not always folly It depends upon the character of those who handle it Mr Knightley he is not a trifling silly young man If he were he would have done this differently He would either have gloried in the achievement or been ashamed of it There would have been either the ostentation of a coxcomb or the evasions of a mind too weak to defend its own vanities No I am perfectly sure that he is not trifling or silly {para} With Tuesday came the agreeable prospect of seeing him again and for a longer time than hitherto of judging of his general manners and by inference of the meaning of his manners towards herself of guessing how soon it might be necessary for her to throw coldness into her air and of fancying what the observations of all those might be who were now seeing them together for the first time {para} She meant to be very happy in spite of the scene being laid at Mr Cole 's and without being able to forget that among the failings of Mr Elton even in the days of his favour none had disturbed her more than his propensity to dine with Mr Cole {para} Her father 's comfort was amply secured Mrs Bates as well as Mrs Goddard being able to come and her last pleasing duty before she left the house was to pay her respects to them as they sat together after dinner and while her father was fondly noticing the beauty of her dress to make the two ladies all the amends in her power by helping them to large slices of cake and full glasses of wine for whatever unwilling self denial his care of their constitution might have obliged them to practise during the meal She had provided a plentiful dinner for them she wished she could know that they had been allowed to eat it {para} She followed another carriage to Mr Cole 's door and was pleased to see that it was Mr Knightley 's for Mr Knightley keeping no horses having little spare money and a great deal of health activity and independence was too apt in Emma 's opinion to get about as he could and not use his carriage so often as became the owner of Donwell Abbey She had an opportunity now of speaking her approbation while warm from her heart for he stopped to hand her out {para} This is coming as you should do said she like a gentleman I am quite glad to see you {para} He thanked her observing How lucky that we should arrive at the same moment for if we had met first in the drawing room I doubt whether you would have discerned me to be more of a gentleman than usual You might not have distinguished how I came by my look or manner {para} Yes I should I am sure I should There is always a look of consciousness or bustle when people come in a way which they know to be beneath them You think you carry it off very well I dare say but with you it is a sort of bravado an air of affected unconcern I always observe it whenever I meet you under those circumstances Now you have nothing to try for You are not afraid of being supposed ashamed You are not striving to look taller than any body else Now I shall really be very happy to walk into the same room with you {para} Nonsensical girl was his reply but not at all in anger {para} Emma had as much reason to be satisfied with the rest of the party as with Mr Knightley She was received with a cordial respect which could not but please and given all the consequence she could wish for When the Westons arrived the kindest looks of love the strongest of admiration were for her from both husband and wife the son approached her with a cheerful eagerness which marked her as his peculiar object and at dinner she found him seated by her and as she firmly believed not without some dexterity on his side {para} The party was rather large as it included one other family a proper unobjectionable country family whom the Coles had the advantage of naming among their acquaintance and the male part of Mr Cox 's family the lawyer of Highbury The less worthy females were to come in the evening with Miss Bates Miss Fairfax and Miss Smith but already at dinner they were too numerous for any subject of conversation to be general and while politics and Mr Elton were talked over Emma could fairly surrender all her attention to the pleasantness of her neighbour The first remote sound to which she felt herself obliged to attend was the name of Jane Fairfax Mrs Cole seemed to be relating something of her that was expected to be very interesting She listened and found it well worth listening to That very dear part of Emma her fancy received an amusing supply Mrs Cole was telling that she had been calling on Miss Bates and as soon as she entered the room had been struck by the sight of a pianoforte a very elegant looking instrument not a grand but a large sized square pianoforte and the substance of the story the end of all the dialogue which ensued of surprize and inquiry and congratulations on her side and explanations on Miss Bates 's was that this pianoforte had arrived from Broadwood 's the day before to the great astonishment of both aunt and niece entirely unexpected that at first by Miss Bates 's account Jane herself was quite at a loss quite bewildered to think who could possibly have ordered it but now they were both perfectly satisfied that it could be from only one quarter of course it must be from Colonel Campbell {para} One can suppose nothing else added Mrs Cole and I was only surprized that there could ever have been a doubt But Jane it seems had a letter from them very lately and not a word was said about it She knows their ways best but I should not consider their silence as any reason for their not meaning to make the present They might chuse to surprize her {para} Mrs Cole had many to agree with her every body who spoke on the subject was equally convinced that it must come from Colonel Campbell and equally rejoiced that such a present had been made and there were enough ready to speak to allow Emma to think her own way and still listen to Mrs Cole {para} I declare I do not know when I have heard any thing that has given me more satisfaction It always has quite hurt me that Jane Fairfax who plays so delightfully should not have an instrument It seemed quite a shame especially considering how many houses there are where fine instruments are absolutely thrown away This is like giving ourselves a slap to be sure and it was but yesterday I was telling Mr Cole I really was ashamed to look at our new grand pianoforte in the drawing room while I do not know one note from another and our little girls who are but just beginning perhaps may never make any thing of it and there is poor Jane Fairfax who is mistress of music has not any thing of the nature of an instrument not even the pitifullest old spinet in the world to amuse herself with I was saying this to Mr Cole but yesterday and he quite agreed with me only he is so particularly fond of music that he could not help indulging himself in the purchase hoping that some of our good neighbours might be so obliging occasionally to put it to a better use than we can and that really is the reason why the instrument was bought or else I am sure we ought to be ashamed of it We are in great hopes that Miss Woodhouse may be prevailed with to try it this evening {para} Miss Woodhouse made the proper acquiescence and finding that nothing more was to be entrapped from any communication of Mrs Cole 's turned to Frank Churchill {para} Why do you smile said she {para} Nay why do you {para} Me I suppose I smile for pleasure at Colonel Campbell 's being so rich and so liberal It is a handsome present {para} Very {para} I rather wonder that it was never made before {para} Perhaps Miss Fairfax has never been staying here so long before {para} Or that he did not give her the use of their own instrument which must now be shut up in London untouched by any body {para} That is a grand pianoforte and he might think it too large for Mrs Bates 's house {para} You may say what you chuse but your countenance testifies that your thoughts on this subject are very much like mine {para} I do not know I rather believe you are giving me more credit for acuteness than I deserve I smile because you smile and shall probably suspect whatever I find you suspect but at present I do not see what there is to question If Colonel Campbell is not the person who can be {para} What do you say to Mrs Dixon {para} Mrs Dixon very true indeed I had not thought of Mrs Dixon She must know as well as her father how acceptable an instrument would be and perhaps the mode of it the mystery the surprize is more like a young woman 's scheme than an elderly man 's It is Mrs Dixon I dare say I told you that your suspicions would guide mine {para} If so you must extend your suspicions and comprehend Mr Dixon in them {para} Mr Dixon Very well Yes I immediately perceive that it must be the joint present of Mr and Mrs Dixon We were speaking the other day you know of his being so warm an admirer of her performance {para} Yes and what you told me on that head confirmed an idea which I had entertained before I do not mean to reflect upon the good intentions of either Mr Dixon or Miss Fairfax but I cannot help suspecting either that after making his proposals to her friend he had the misfortune to fall in love with her or that he became conscious of a little attachment on her side One might guess twenty things without guessing exactly the right but I am sure there must be a particular cause for her chusing to come to Highbury instead of going with the Campbells to Ireland Here she must be leading a life of privation and penance there it would have been all enjoyment As to the pretence of trying her native air I look upon that as a mere excuse In the summer it might have passed but what can any body 's native air do for them in the months of January February and March Good fires and carriages would be much more to the purpose in most cases of delicate health and I dare say in her 's I do not require you to adopt all my suspicions though you make so noble a profession of doing it but I honestly tell you what they are {para} And upon my word they have an air of great probability Mr Dixon 's preference of her music to her friend 's I can answer for being very decided {para} And then he saved her life Did you ever hear of that A water party and by some accident she was falling overboard He caught her {para} He did I was there one of the party {para} Were you really Well But you observed nothing of course for it seems to be a new idea to you If I had been there I think I should have made some discoveries {para} I dare say you would but I simple I saw nothing but the fact that Miss Fairfax was nearly dashed from the vessel and that Mr Dixon caught her It was the work of a moment And though the consequent shock and alarm was very great and much more durable indeed I believe it was half an hour before any of us were comfortable again yet that was too general a sensation for any thing of peculiar anxiety to be observable I do not mean to say however that you might not have made discoveries {para} The conversation was here interrupted They were called on to share in the awkwardness of a rather long interval between the courses and obliged to be as formal and as orderly as the others but when the table was again safely covered when every corner dish was placed exactly right and occupation and ease were generally restored Emma said {para} The arrival of this pianoforte is decisive with me I wanted to know a little more and this tells me quite enough Depend upon it we shall soon hear that it is a present from Mr and Mrs Dixon {para} And if the Dixons should absolutely deny all knowledge of it we must conclude it to come from the Campbells {para} No I am sure it is not from the Campbells Miss Fairfax knows it is not from the Campbells or they would have been guessed at first She would not have been puzzled had she dared fix on them I may not have convinced you perhaps but I am perfectly convinced myself that Mr Dixon is a principal in the business {para} Indeed you injure me if you suppose me unconvinced Your reasonings carry my judgment along with them entirely At first while I supposed you satisfied that Colonel Campbell was the giver I saw it only as paternal kindness and thought it the most natural thing in the world But when you mentioned Mrs Dixon I felt how much more probable that it should be the tribute of warm female friendship And now I can see it in no other light than as an offering of love {para} There was no occasion to press the matter farther The conviction seemed real he looked as if he felt it She said no more other subjects took their turn and the rest of the dinner passed away the dessert succeeded the children came in and were talked to and admired amid the usual rate of conversation a few clever things said a few downright silly but by much the larger proportion neither the one nor the other nothing worse than everyday remarks dull repetitions old news and heavy jokes {para} The ladies had not been long in the drawing room before the other ladies in their different divisions arrived Emma watched the entree of her own particular little friend and if she could not exult in her dignity and grace she could not only love the blooming sweetness and the artless manner but could most heartily rejoice in that light cheerful unsentimental disposition which allowed her so many alleviations of pleasure in the midst of the pangs of disappointed affection There she sat and who would have guessed how many tears she had been lately shedding To be in company nicely dressed herself and seeing others nicely dressed to sit and smile and look pretty and say nothing was enough for the happiness of the present hour Jane Fairfax did look and move superior but Emma suspected she might have been glad to change feelings with Harriet very glad to have purchased the mortification of having loved yes of having loved even Mr Elton in vain by the surrender of all the dangerous pleasure of knowing herself beloved by the husband of her friend {para} In so large a party it was not necessary that Emma should approach her She did not wish to speak of the pianoforte she felt too much in the secret herself to think the appearance of curiosity or interest fair and therefore purposely kept at a distance but by the others the subject was almost immediately introduced and she saw the blush of consciousness with which congratulations were received the blush of guilt which accompanied the name of my excellent friend Colonel Campbell {para} Mrs Weston kind hearted and musical was particularly interested by the circumstance and Emma could not help being amused at her perseverance in dwelling on the subject and having so much to ask and to say as to tone touch and pedal totally unsuspicious of that wish of saying as little about it as possible which she plainly read in the fair heroine 's countenance {para} They were soon joined by some of the gentlemen and the very first of the early was Frank Churchill In he walked the first and the handsomest and after paying his compliments en passant to Miss Bates and her niece made his way directly to the opposite side of the circle where sat Miss Woodhouse and till he could find a seat by her would not sit at all Emma divined what every body present must be thinking She was his object and every body must perceive it She introduced him to her friend Miss Smith and at convenient moments afterwards heard what each thought of the other He had never seen so lovely a face and was delighted with her naivete And she Only to be sure it was paying him too great a compliment but she did think there were some looks a little like Mr Elton Emma restrained her indignation and only turned from her in silence {para} Smiles of intelligence passed between her and the gentleman on first glancing towards Miss Fairfax but it was most prudent to avoid speech He told her that he had been impatient to leave the dining room hated sitting long was always the first to move when he could that his father Mr Knightley Mr Cox and Mr Cole were left very busy over parish business that as long as he had staid however it had been pleasant enough as he had found them in general a set of gentlemanlike sensible men and spoke so handsomely of Highbury altogether thought it so abundant in agreeable families that Emma began to feel she had been used to despise the place rather too much She questioned him as to the society in Yorkshire the extent of the neighbourhood about Enscombe and the sort and could make out from his answers that as far as Enscombe was concerned there was very little going on that their visitings were among a range of great families none very near and that even when days were fixed and invitations accepted it was an even chance that Mrs Churchill were not in health and spirits for going that they made a point of visiting no fresh person and that though he had his separate engagements it was not without difficulty without considerable address at times that he could get away or introduce an acquaintance for a night {para} She saw that Enscombe could not satisfy and that Highbury taken at its best might reasonably please a young man who had more retirement at home than he liked His importance at Enscombe was very evident He did not boast but it naturally betrayed itself that he had persuaded his aunt where his uncle could do nothing and on her laughing and noticing it he owned that he believed excepting one or two points he could with time persuade her to any thing One of those points on which his influence failed he then mentioned He had wanted very much to go abroad had been very eager indeed to be allowed to travel but she would not hear of it This had happened the year before Now he said he was beginning to have no longer the same wish {para} The unpersuadable point which he did not mention Emma guessed to be good behaviour to his father {para} I have made a most wretched discovery said he after a short pause I have been here a week to morrow half my time I never knew days fly so fast A week to morrow And I have hardly begun to enjoy myself But just got acquainted with Mrs Weston and others I hate the recollection {para} Perhaps you may now begin to regret that you spent one whole day out of so few in having your hair cut {para} No said he smiling that is no subject of regret at all I have no pleasure in seeing my friends unless I can believe myself fit to be seen {para} The rest of the gentlemen being now in the room Emma found herself obliged to turn from him for a few minutes and listen to Mr Cole When Mr Cole had moved away and her attention could be restored as before she saw Frank Churchill looking intently across the room at Miss Fairfax who was sitting exactly opposite {para} What is the matter said she {para} He started Thank you for rousing me he replied I believe I have been very rude but really Miss Fairfax has done her hair in so odd a way so very odd a way that I cannot keep my eyes from her I never saw any thing so outree Those curls This must be a fancy of her own I see nobody else looking like her I must go and ask her whether it is an Irish fashion Shall I Yes I will I declare I will and you shall see how she takes it whether she colours {para} He was gone immediately and Emma soon saw him standing before Miss Fairfax and talking to her but as to its effect on the young lady as he had improvidently placed himself exactly between them exactly in front of Miss Fairfax she could absolutely distinguish nothing {para} Before he could return to his chair it was taken by Mrs Weston {para} This is the luxury of a large party said she one can get near every body and say every thing My dear Emma I am longing to talk to you I have been making discoveries and forming plans just like yourself and I must tell them while the idea is fresh Do you know how Miss Bates and her niece came here {para} How They were invited were not they {para} Oh yes but how they were conveyed hither the manner of their coming {para} They walked I conclude How else could they come {para} Very true Well a little while ago it occurred to me how very sad it would be to have Jane Fairfax walking home again late at night and cold as the nights are now And as I looked at her though I never saw her appear to more advantage it struck me that she was heated and would therefore be particularly liable to take cold Poor girl I could not bear the idea of it so as soon as Mr Weston came into the room and I could get at him I spoke to him about the carriage You may guess how readily he came into my wishes and having his approbation I made my way directly to Miss Bates to assure her that the carriage would be at her service before it took us home for I thought it would be making her comfortable at once Good soul she was as grateful as possible you may be sure Nobody was ever so fortunate as herself but with many many thanks there was no occasion to trouble us for Mr Knightley 's carriage had brought and was to take them home again I was quite surprized very glad I am sure but really quite surprized Such a very kind attention and so thoughtful an attention the sort of thing that so few men would think of And in short from knowing his usual ways I am very much inclined to think that it was for their accommodation the carriage was used at all I do suspect he would not have had a pair of horses for himself and that it was only as an excuse for assisting them {para} Very likely said Emma nothing more likely I know no man more likely than Mr Knightley to do the sort of thing to do any thing really good natured useful considerate or benevolent He is not a gallant man but he is a very humane one and this considering Jane Fairfax 's ill health would appear a case of humanity to him and for an act of unostentatious kindness there is nobody whom I would fix on more than on Mr Knightley I know he had horses to day for we arrived together and I laughed at him about it but he said not a word that could betray {para} Well said Mrs Weston smiling you give him credit for more simple disinterested benevolence in this instance than I do for while Miss Bates was speaking a suspicion darted into my head and I have never been able to get it out again The more I think of it the more probable it appears In short I have made a match between Mr Knightley and Jane Fairfax See the consequence of keeping you company What do you say to it {para} Mr Knightley and Jane Fairfax exclaimed Emma Dear Mrs Weston how could you think of such a thing Mr Knightley Mr Knightley must not marry You would not have little Henry cut out from Donwell Oh no no Henry must have Donwell I cannot at all consent to Mr Knightley 's marrying and I am sure it is not at all likely I am amazed that you should think of such a thing {para} My dear Emma I have told you what led me to think of it I do not want the match I do not want to injure dear little Henry but the idea has been given me by circumstances and if Mr Knightley really wished to marry you would not have him refrain on Henry 's account a boy of six years old who knows nothing of the matter {para} Yes I would I could not bear to have Henry supplanted Mr Knightley marry No I have never had such an idea and I cannot adopt it now And Jane Fairfax too of all women {para} Nay she has always been a first favourite with him as you very well know {para} But the imprudence of such a match {para} I am not speaking of its prudence merely its probability {para} I see no probability in it unless you have any better foundation than what you mention His good nature his humanity as I tell you would be quite enough to account for the horses He has a great regard for the Bateses you know independent of Jane Fairfax and is always glad to shew them attention My dear Mrs Weston do not take to match making You do it very ill Jane Fairfax mistress of the Abbey Oh no no every feeling revolts For his own sake I would not have him do so mad a thing {para} Imprudent if you please but not mad Excepting inequality of fortune and perhaps a little disparity of age I can see nothing unsuitable {para} But Mr Knightley does not want to marry I am sure he has not the least idea of it Do not put it into his head Why should he marry He is as happy as possible by himself with his farm and his sheep and his library and all the parish to manage and he is extremely fond of his brother 's children He has no occasion to marry either to fill up his time or his heart {para} My dear Emma as long as he thinks so it is so but if he really loves Jane Fairfax {para} Nonsense He does not care about Jane Fairfax In the way of love I am sure he does not He would do any good to her or her family but {para} Well said Mrs Weston laughing perhaps the greatest good he could do them would be to give Jane such a respectable home {para} If it would be good to her I am sure it would be evil to himself a very shameful and degrading connexion How would he bear to have Miss Bates belonging to him To have her haunting the Abbey and thanking him all day long for his great kindness in marrying Jane So very kind and obliging But he always had been such a very kind neighbour And then fly off through half a sentence to her mother 's old petticoat Not that it was such a very old petticoat either for still it would last a great while and indeed she must thankfully say that their petticoats were all very strong {para} For shame Emma Do not mimic her You divert me against my conscience And upon my word I do not think Mr Knightley would be much disturbed by Miss Bates Little things do not irritate him She might talk on and if he wanted to say any thing himself he would only talk louder and drown her voice But the question is not whether it would be a bad connexion for him but whether he wishes it and I think he does I have heard him speak and so must you so very highly of Jane Fairfax The interest he takes in her his anxiety about her health his concern that she should have no happier prospect I have heard him express himself so warmly on those points Such an admirer of her performance on the pianoforte and of her voice I have heard him say that he could listen to her for ever Oh and I had almost forgotten one idea that occurred to me this pianoforte that has been sent here by somebody though we have all been so well satisfied to consider it a present from the Campbells may it not be from Mr Knightley I cannot help suspecting him I think he is just the person to do it even without being in love {para} Then it can be no argument to prove that he is in love But I do not think it is at all a likely thing for him to do Mr Knightley does nothing mysteriously {para} I have heard him lamenting her having no instrument repeatedly oftener than I should suppose such a circumstance would in the common course of things occur to him {para} Very well and if he had intended to give her one he would have told her so {para} There might be scruples of delicacy my dear Emma I have a very strong notion that it comes from him I am sure he was particularly silent when Mrs Cole told us of it at dinner {para} You take up an idea Mrs Weston and run away with it as you have many a time reproached me with doing I see no sign of attachment I believe nothing of the pianoforte and proof only shall convince me that Mr Knightley has any thought of marrying Jane Fairfax {para} They combated the point some time longer in the same way Emma rather gaining ground over the mind of her friend for Mrs Weston was the most used of the two to yield till a little bustle in the room shewed them that tea was over and the instrument in preparation and at the same moment Mr Cole approaching to entreat Miss Woodhouse would do them the honour of trying it Frank Churchill of whom in the eagerness of her conversation with Mrs Weston she had been seeing nothing except that he had found a seat by Miss Fairfax followed Mr Cole to add his very pressing entreaties and as in every respect it suited Emma best to lead she gave a very proper compliance {para} She knew the limitations of her own powers too well to attempt more than she could perform with credit she wanted neither taste nor spirit in the little things which are generally acceptable and could accompany her own voice well One accompaniment to her song took her agreeably by surprize a second slightly but correctly taken by Frank Churchill Her pardon was duly begged at the close of the song and every thing usual followed He was accused of having a delightful voice and a perfect knowledge of music which was properly denied and that he knew nothing of the matter and had no voice at all roundly asserted They sang together once more and Emma would then resign her place to Miss Fairfax whose performance both vocal and instrumental she never could attempt to conceal from herself was infinitely superior to her own {para} With mixed feelings she seated herself at a little distance from the numbers round the instrument to listen Frank Churchill sang again They had sung together once or twice it appeared at Weymouth But the sight of Mr Knightley among the most attentive soon drew away half Emma 's mind and she fell into a train of thinking on the subject of Mrs Weston 's suspicions to which the sweet sounds of the united voices gave only momentary interruptions Her objections to Mr Knightley 's marrying did not in the least subside She could see nothing but evil in it It would be a great disappointment to Mr John Knightley consequently to Isabella A real injury to the children a most mortifying change and material loss to them all a very great deduction from her father 's daily comfort and as to herself she could not at all endure the idea of Jane Fairfax at Donwell Abbey A Mrs Knightley for them all to give way to No Mr Knightley must never marry Little Henry must remain the heir of Donwell {para} Presently Mr Knightley looked back and came and sat down by her They talked at first only of the performance His admiration was certainly very warm yet she thought but for Mrs Weston it would not have struck her As a sort of touchstone however she began to speak of his kindness in conveying the aunt and niece and though his answer was in the spirit of cutting the matter short she believed it to indicate only his disinclination to dwell on any kindness of his own {para} I often feel concern said she that I dare not make our carriage more useful on such occasions It is not that I am without the wish but you know how impossible my father would deem it that James should put to for such a purpose {para} Quite out of the question quite out of the question he replied but you must often wish it I am sure And he smiled with such seeming pleasure at the conviction that she must proceed another step {para} This present from the Campbells said she this pianoforte is very kindly given {para} Yes he replied and without the smallest apparent embarrassment But they would have done better had they given her notice of it Surprizes are foolish things The pleasure is not enhanced and the inconvenience is often considerable I should have expected better judgment in Colonel Campbell {para} From that moment Emma could have taken her oath that Mr Knightley had had no concern in giving the instrument But whether he were entirely free from peculiar attachment whether there were no actual preference remained a little longer doubtful Towards the end of Jane 's second song her voice grew thick {para} That will do said he when it was finished thinking aloud you have sung quite enough for one evening now be quiet {para} Another song however was soon begged for One more they would not fatigue Miss Fairfax on any account and would only ask for one more And Frank Churchill was heard to say I think you could manage this without effort the first part is so very trifling The strength of the song falls on the second {para} Mr Knightley grew angry {para} That fellow said he indignantly thinks of nothing but shewing off his own voice This must not be And touching Miss Bates who at that moment passed near Miss Bates are you mad to let your niece sing herself hoarse in this manner Go and interfere They have no mercy on her {para} Miss Bates in her real anxiety for Jane could hardly stay even to be grateful before she stept forward and put an end to all farther singing Here ceased the concert part of the evening for Miss Woodhouse and Miss Fairfax were the only young lady performers but soon within five minutes the proposal of dancing originating nobody exactly knew where was so effectually promoted by Mr and Mrs Cole that every thing was rapidly clearing away to give proper space Mrs Weston capital in her country dances was seated and beginning an irresistible waltz and Frank Churchill coming up with most becoming gallantry to Emma had secured her hand and led her up to the top {para} While waiting till the other young people could pair themselves off Emma found time in spite of the compliments she was receiving on her voice and her taste to look about and see what became of Mr Knightley This would be a trial He was no dancer in general If he were to be very alert in engaging Jane Fairfax now it might augur something There was no immediate appearance No he was talking to Mrs Cole he was looking on unconcerned Jane was asked by somebody else and he was still talking to Mrs Cole {para} Emma had no longer an alarm for Henry his interest was yet safe and she led off the dance with genuine spirit and enjoyment Not more than five couple could be mustered but the rarity and the suddenness of it made it very delightful and she found herself well matched in a partner They were a couple worth looking at {para} Two dances unfortunately were all that could be allowed It was growing late and Miss Bates became anxious to get home on her mother 's account After some attempts therefore to be permitted to begin again they were obliged to thank Mrs Weston look sorrowful and have done {para} Perhaps it is as well said Frank Churchill as he attended Emma to her carriage I must have asked Miss Fairfax and her languid dancing would not have agreed with me after your 's {para} CHAPTER IX {para} Emma did not repent her condescension in going to the Coles The visit afforded her many pleasant recollections the next day and all that she might be supposed to have lost on the side of dignified seclusion must be amply repaid in the splendour of popularity She must have delighted the Coles worthy people who deserved to be made happy And left a name behind her that would not soon die away {para} Perfect happiness even in memory is not common and there were two points on which she was not quite easy She doubted whether she had not transgressed the duty of woman by woman in betraying her suspicions of Jane Fairfax 's feelings to Frank Churchill It was hardly right but it had been so strong an idea that it would escape her and his submission to all that she told was a compliment to her penetration which made it difficult for her to be quite certain that she ought to have held her tongue {para} The other circumstance of regret related also to Jane Fairfax and there she had no doubt She did unfeignedly and unequivocally regret the inferiority of her own playing and singing She did most heartily grieve over the idleness of her childhood and sat down and practised vigorously an hour and a half {para} She was then interrupted by Harriet 's coming in and if Harriet 's praise could have satisfied her she might soon have been comforted {para} Oh if I could but play as well as you and Miss Fairfax {para} Don't class us together Harriet My playing is no more like her 's than a lamp is like sunshine {para} Oh dear I think you play the best of the two I think you play quite as well as she does I am sure I had much rather hear you Every body last night said how well you played {para} Those who knew any thing about it must have felt the difference The truth is Harriet that my playing is just good enough to be praised but Jane Fairfax 's is much beyond it {para} Well I always shall think that you play quite as well as she does or that if there is any difference nobody would ever find it out Mr Cole said how much taste you had and Mr Frank Churchill talked a great deal about your taste and that he valued taste much more than execution {para} Ah but Jane Fairfax has them both Harriet {para} Are you sure I saw she had execution but I did not know she had any taste Nobody talked about it And I hate Italian singing There is no understanding a word of it Besides if she does play so very well you know it is no more than she is obliged to do because she will have to teach The Coxes were wondering last night whether she would get into any great family How did you think the Coxes looked {para} Just as they always do very vulgar {para} They told me something said Harriet rather hesitatingly but it is nothing of any consequence {para} Emma was obliged to ask what they had told her though fearful of its producing Mr Elton {para} They told me that Mr Martin dined with them last Saturday {para} Oh {para} He came to their father upon some business and he asked him to stay to dinner {para} Oh {para} They talked a great deal about him especially Anne Cox I do not know what she meant but she asked me if I thought I should go and stay there again next summer {para} She meant to be impertinently curious just as such an Anne Cox should be {para} She said he was very agreeable the day he dined there He sat by her at dinner Miss Nash thinks either of the Coxes would be very glad to marry him {para} Very likely I think they are without exception the most vulgar girls in Highbury {para} Harriet had business at Ford 's Emma thought it most prudent to go with her Another accidental meeting with the Martins was possible and in her present state would be dangerous {para} Harriet tempted by every thing and swayed by half a word was always very long at a purchase and while she was still hanging over muslins and changing her mind Emma went to the door for amusement Much could not be hoped from the traffic of even the busiest part of Highbury Mr Perry walking hastily by Mr William Cox letting himself in at the office door Mr Cole 's carriage horses returning from exercise or a stray letter boy on an obstinate mule were the liveliest objects she could presume to expect and when her eyes fell only on the butcher with his tray a tidy old woman travelling homewards from shop with her full basket two curs quarrelling over a dirty bone and a string of dawdling children round the baker 's little bow window eyeing the gingerbread she knew she had no reason to complain and was amused enough quite enough still to stand at the door A mind lively and at ease can do with seeing nothing and can see nothing that does not answer {para} She looked down the Randalls road The scene enlarged two persons appeared Mrs Weston and her son in law they were walking into Highbury to Hartfield of course They were stopping however in the first place at Mrs Bates 's whose house was a little nearer Randalls than Ford 's and had all but knocked when Emma caught their eye Immediately they crossed the road and came forward to her and the agreeableness of yesterday 's engagement seemed to give fresh pleasure to the present meeting Mrs Weston informed her that she was going to call on the Bateses in order to hear the new instrument {para} For my companion tells me said she that I absolutely promised Miss Bates last night that I would come this morning I was not aware of it myself I did not know that I had fixed a day but as he says I did I am going now {para} And while Mrs Weston pays her visit I may be allowed I hope said Frank Churchill to join your party and wait for her at Hartfield if you are going home {para} Mrs Weston was disappointed {para} I thought you meant to go with me They would be very much pleased {para} Me I should be quite in the way But perhaps I may be equally in the way here Miss Woodhouse looks as if she did not want me My aunt always sends me off when she is shopping She says I fidget her to death and Miss Woodhouse looks as if she could almost say the same What am I to do {para} I am here on no business of my own said Emma I am only waiting for my friend She will probably have soon done and then we shall go home But you had better go with Mrs Weston and hear the instrument {para} Well if you advise it But with a smile if Colonel Campbell should have employed a careless friend and if it should prove to have an indifferent tone what shall I say I shall be no support to Mrs Weston She might do very well by herself A disagreeable truth would be palatable through her lips but I am the wretchedest being in the world at a civil falsehood {para} I do not believe any such thing replied Emma I am persuaded that you can be as insincere as your neighbours when it is necessary but there is no reason to suppose the instrument is indifferent Quite otherwise indeed if I understood Miss Fairfax 's opinion last night {para} Do come with me said Mrs Weston if it be not very disagreeable to you It need not detain us long We will go to Hartfield afterwards We will follow them to Hartfield I really wish you to call with me It will be felt so great an attention and I always thought you meant it {para} He could say no more and with the hope of Hartfield to reward him returned with Mrs Weston to Mrs Bates 's door Emma watched them in and then joined Harriet at the interesting counter trying with all the force of her own mind to convince her that if she wanted plain muslin it was of no use to look at figured and that a blue ribbon be it ever so beautiful would still never match her yellow pattern At last it was all settled even to the destination of the parcel {para} Should I send it to Mrs Goddard 's ma'am asked Mrs Ford Yes no yes to Mrs Goddard 's Only my pattern gown is at Hartfield No you shall send it to Hartfield if you please But then Mrs Goddard will want to see it And I could take the pattern gown home any day But I shall want the ribbon directly so it had better go to Hartfield at least the ribbon You could make it into two parcels Mrs Ford could not you {para} It is not worth while Harriet to give Mrs Ford the trouble of two parcels {para} No more it is {para} No trouble in the world ma'am said the obliging Mrs Ford {para} Oh but indeed I would much rather have it only in one Then if you please you shall send it all to Mrs Goddard 's I do not know No I think Miss Woodhouse I may just as well have it sent to Hartfield and take it home with me at night What do you advise {para} That you do not give another half second to the subject To Hartfield if you please Mrs Ford {para} Aye that will be much best said Harriet quite satisfied I should not at all like to have it sent to Mrs Goddard 's {para} Voices approached the shop or rather one voice and two ladies Mrs Weston and Miss Bates met them at the door {para} My dear Miss Woodhouse said the latter I am just run across to entreat the favour of you to come and sit down with us a little while and give us your opinion of our new instrument you and Miss Smith How do you do Miss Smith Very well I thank you And I begged Mrs Weston to come with me that I might be sure of succeeding {para} I hope Mrs Bates and Miss Fairfax are {para} Very well I am much obliged to you My mother is delightfully well and Jane caught no cold last night How is Mr Woodhouse I am so glad to hear such a good account Mrs Weston told me you were here Oh then said I I must run across I am sure Miss Woodhouse will allow me just to run across and entreat her to come in my mother will be so very happy to see her and now we are such a nice party she cannot refuse Aye pray do said Mr Frank Churchill Miss Woodhouse 's opinion of the instrument will be worth having But said I I shall be more sure of succeeding if one of you will go with me Oh said he wait half a minute till I have finished my job For would you believe it Miss Woodhouse there he is in the most obliging manner in the world fastening in the rivet of my mother 's spectacles The rivet came out you know this morning So very obliging For my mother had no use of her spectacles could not put them on And by the bye every body ought to have two pair of spectacles they should indeed Jane said so I meant to take them over to John Saunders the first thing I did but something or other hindered me all the morning first one thing then another there is no saying what you know At one time Patty came to say she thought the kitchen chimney wanted sweeping Oh said I Patty do not come with your bad news to me Here is the rivet of your mistress 's spectacles out Then the baked apples came home Mrs Wallis sent them by her boy they are extremely civil and obliging to us the Wallises always I have heard some people say that Mrs Wallis can be uncivil and give a very rude answer but we have never known any thing but the greatest attention from them And it cannot be for the value of our custom now for what is our consumption of bread you know Only three of us besides dear Jane at present and she really eats nothing makes such a shocking breakfast you would be quite frightened if you saw it I dare not let my mother know how little she eats so I say one thing and then I say another and it passes off But about the middle of the day she gets hungry and there is nothing she likes so well as these baked apples and they are extremely wholesome for I took the opportunity the other day of asking Mr Perry I happened to meet him in the street Not that I had any doubt before I have so often heard Mr Woodhouse recommend a baked apple I believe it is the only way that Mr Woodhouse thinks the fruit thoroughly wholesome We have apple dumplings however very often Patty makes an excellent apple dumpling Well Mrs Weston you have prevailed I hope and these ladies will oblige us {para} Emma would be very happy to wait on Mrs Bates &c and they did at last move out of the shop with no farther delay from Miss Bates than {para} How do you do Mrs Ford I beg your pardon I did not see you before I hear you have a charming collection of new ribbons from town Jane came back delighted yesterday Thank ye the gloves do very well only a little too large about the wrist but Jane is taking them in {para} What was I talking of said she beginning again when they were all in the street {para} Emma wondered on what of all the medley she would fix {para} I declare I cannot recollect what I was talking of Oh my mother 's spectacles So very obliging of Mr Frank Churchill Oh said he I do think I can fasten the rivet I like a job of this kind excessively Which you know shewed him to be so very Indeed I must say that much as I had heard of him before and much as I had expected he very far exceeds any thing I do congratulate you Mrs Weston most warmly He seems every thing the fondest parent could Oh said he I can fasten the rivet I like a job of that sort excessively I never shall forget his manner And when I brought out the baked apples from the closet and hoped our friends would be so very obliging as to take some Oh said he directly there is nothing in the way of fruit half so good and these are the finest looking home baked apples I ever saw in my life That you know was so very And I am sure by his manner it was no compliment Indeed they are very delightful apples and Mrs Wallis does them full justice only we do not have them baked more than twice and Mr Woodhouse made us promise to have them done three times but Miss Woodhouse will be so good as not to mention it The apples themselves are the very finest sort for baking beyond a doubt all from Donwell some of Mr Knightley 's most liberal supply He sends us a sack every year and certainly there never was such a keeping apple anywhere as one of his trees I believe there is two of them My mother says the orchard was always famous in her younger days But I was really quite shocked the other day for Mr Knightley called one morning and Jane was eating these apples and we talked about them and said how much she enjoyed them and he asked whether we were not got to the end of our stock I am sure you must be said he and I will send you another supply for I have a great many more than I can ever use William Larkins let me keep a larger quantity than usual this year I will send you some more before they get good for nothing So I begged he would not for really as to ours being gone I could not absolutely say that we had a great many left it was but half a dozen indeed but they should be all kept for Jane and I could not at all bear that he should be sending us more so liberal as he had been already and Jane said the same And when he was gone she almost quarrelled with me No I should not say quarrelled for we never had a quarrel in our lives but she was quite distressed that I had owned the apples were so nearly gone she wished I had made him believe we had a great many left Oh said I my dear I did say as much as I could However the very same evening William Larkins came over with a large basket of apples the same sort of apples a bushel at least and I was very much obliged and went down and spoke to William Larkins and said every thing as you may suppose William Larkins is such an old acquaintance I am always glad to see him But however I found afterwards from Patty that William said it was all the apples of that sort his master had he had brought them all and now his master had not one left to bake or boil William did not seem to mind it himself he was so pleased to think his master had sold so many for William you know thinks more of his master 's profit than any thing but Mrs Hodges he said was quite displeased at their being all sent away She could not bear that her master should not be able to have another apple tart this spring He told Patty this but bid her not mind it and be sure not to say any thing to us about it for Mrs Hodges would be cross sometimes and as long as so many sacks were sold it did not signify who ate the remainder And so Patty told me and I was excessively shocked indeed I would not have Mr Knightley know any thing about it for the world He would be so very I wanted to keep it from Jane 's knowledge but unluckily I had mentioned it before I was aware {para} Miss Bates had just done as Patty opened the door and her visitors walked upstairs without having any regular narration to attend to pursued only by the sounds of her desultory good will {para} Pray take care Mrs Weston there is a step at the turning Pray take care Miss Woodhouse ours is rather a dark staircase rather darker and narrower than one could wish Miss Smith pray take care Miss Woodhouse I am quite concerned I am sure you hit your foot Miss Smith the step at the turning {para} CHAPTER X {para} The appearance of the little sitting room as they entered was tranquillity itself Mrs Bates deprived of her usual employment slumbering on one side of the fire Frank Churchill at a table near her most deedily occupied about her spectacles and Jane Fairfax standing with her back to them intent on her pianoforte {para} Busy as he was however the young man was yet able to shew a most happy countenance on seeing Emma again {para} This is a pleasure said he in rather a low voice coming at least ten minutes earlier than I had calculated You find me trying to be useful tell me if you think I shall succeed {para} What said Mrs Weston have not you finished it yet you would not earn a very good livelihood as a working silversmith at this rate {para} I have not been working uninterruptedly he replied I have been assisting Miss Fairfax in trying to make her instrument stand steadily it was not quite firm an unevenness in the floor I believe You see we have been wedging one leg with paper This was very kind of you to be persuaded to come I was almost afraid you would be hurrying home {para} He contrived that she should be seated by him and was sufficiently employed in looking out the best baked apple for her and trying to make her help or advise him in his work till Jane Fairfax was quite ready to sit down to the pianoforte again That she was not immediately ready Emma did suspect to arise from the state of her nerves she had not yet possessed the instrument long enough to touch it without emotion she must reason herself into the power of performance and Emma could not but pity such feelings whatever their origin and could not but resolve never to expose them to her neighbour again {para} At last Jane began and though the first bars were feebly given the powers of the instrument were gradually done full justice to Mrs Weston had been delighted before and was delighted again Emma joined her in all her praise and the pianoforte with every proper discrimination was pronounced to be altogether of the highest promise {para} Whoever Colonel Campbell might employ said Frank Churchill with a smile at Emma the person has not chosen ill I heard a good deal of Colonel Campbell 's taste at Weymouth and the softness of the upper notes I am sure is exactly what he and all that party would particularly prize I dare say Miss Fairfax that he either gave his friend very minute directions or wrote to Broadwood himself Do not you think so {para} Jane did not look round She was not obliged to hear Mrs Weston had been speaking to her at the same moment {para} It is not fair said Emma in a whisper mine was a random guess Do not distress her {para} He shook his head with a smile and looked as if he had very little doubt and very little mercy Soon afterwards he began again {para} How much your friends in Ireland must be enjoying your pleasure on this occasion Miss Fairfax I dare say they often think of you and wonder which will be the day the precise day of the instrument 's coming to hand Do you imagine Colonel Campbell knows the business to be going forward just at this time Do you imagine it to be the consequence of an immediate commission from him or that he may have sent only a general direction an order indefinite as to time to depend upon contingencies and conveniences {para} He paused She could not but hear she could not avoid answering {para} Till I have a letter from Colonel Campbell said she in a voice of forced calmness I can imagine nothing with any confidence It must be all conjecture {para} Conjecture aye sometimes one conjectures right and sometimes one conjectures wrong I wish I could conjecture how soon I shall make this rivet quite firm What nonsense one talks Miss Woodhouse when hard at work if one talks at all your real workmen I suppose hold their tongues but we gentlemen labourers if we get hold of a word Miss Fairfax said something about conjecturing There it is done I have the pleasure madam to Mrs Bates of restoring your spectacles healed for the present {para} He was very warmly thanked both by mother and daughter to escape a little from the latter he went to the pianoforte and begged Miss Fairfax who was still sitting at it to play something more {para} If you are very kind said he it will be one of the waltzes we danced last night let me live them over again You did not enjoy them as I did you appeared tired the whole time I believe you were glad we danced no longer but I would have given worlds all the worlds one ever has to give for another half hour {para} She played {para} What felicity it is to hear a tune again which has made one happy If I mistake not that was danced at Weymouth {para} She looked up at him for a moment coloured deeply and played something else He took some music from a chair near the pianoforte and turning to Emma said {para} Here is something quite new to me Do you know it Cramer And here are a new set of Irish melodies That from such a quarter one might expect This was all sent with the instrument Very thoughtful of Colonel Campbell was not it He knew Miss Fairfax could have no music here I honour that part of the attention particularly it shews it to have been so thoroughly from the heart Nothing hastily done nothing incomplete True affection only could have prompted it {para} Emma wished he would be less pointed yet could not help being amused and when on glancing her eye towards Jane Fairfax she caught the remains of a smile when she saw that with all the deep blush of consciousness there had been a smile of secret delight she had less scruple in the amusement and much less compunction with respect to her This amiable upright perfect Jane Fairfax was apparently cherishing very reprehensible feelings {para} He brought all the music to her and they looked it over together Emma took the opportunity of whispering {para} You speak too plain She must understand you {para} I hope she does I would have her understand me I am not in the least ashamed of my meaning {para} But really I am half ashamed and wish I had never taken up the idea {para} I am very glad you did and that you communicated it to me I have now a key to all her odd looks and ways Leave shame to her If she does wrong she ought to feel it {para} She is not entirely without it I think {para} I do not see much sign of it She is playing Robin Adair at this moment his favourite {para} Shortly afterwards Miss Bates passing near the window descried Mr Knightley on horse back not far off {para} Mr Knightley I declare I must speak to him if possible just to thank him I will not open the window here it would give you all cold but I can go into my mother 's room you know I dare say he will come in when he knows who is here Quite delightful to have you all meet so Our little room so honoured {para} She was in the adjoining chamber while she still spoke and opening the casement there immediately called Mr Knightley 's attention and every syllable of their conversation was as distinctly heard by the others as if it had passed within the same apartment {para} How d ye do how d'ye do Very well I thank you So obliged to you for the carriage last night We were just in time my mother just ready for us Pray come in do come in You will find some friends here {para} So began Miss Bates and Mr Knightley seemed determined to be heard in his turn for most resolutely and commandingly did he say {para} How is your niece Miss Bates I want to inquire after you all but particularly your niece How is Miss Fairfax I hope she caught no cold last night How is she to day Tell me how Miss Fairfax is {para} And Miss Bates was obliged to give a direct answer before he would hear her in any thing else The listeners were amused and Mrs Weston gave Emma a look of particular meaning But Emma still shook her head in steady scepticism {para} So obliged to you so very much obliged to you for the carriage resumed Miss Bates {para} He cut her short with {para} I am going to Kingston Can I do anything for you {para} Oh dear Kingston are you Mrs Cole was saying the other day she wanted something from Kingston {para} Mrs Cole has servants to send Can I do any thing for you {para} No I thank you But do come in Who do you think is here Miss Woodhouse and Miss Smith so kind as to call to hear the new pianoforte Do put up your horse at the Crown and come in {para} Well said he in a deliberating manner for five minutes perhaps {para} And here is Mrs Weston and Mr Frank Churchill too Quite delightful so many friends {para} No not now I thank you I could not stay two minutes I must get on to Kingston as fast as I can {para} Oh do come in They will be so very happy to see you {para} No no your room is full enough I will call another day and hear the pianoforte {para} Well I am so sorry Oh Mr Knightley what a delightful party last night how extremely pleasant Did you ever see such dancing Was not it delightful Miss Woodhouse and Mr Frank Churchill I never saw any thing equal to it {para} Oh very delightful indeed I can say nothing less for I suppose Miss Woodhouse and Mr Frank Churchill are hearing every thing that passes And raising his voice still more I do not see why Miss Fairfax should not be mentioned too I think Miss Fairfax dances very well and Mrs Weston is the very best country dance player without exception in England Now if your friends have any gratitude they will say something pretty loud about you and me in return but I cannot stay to hear it {para} Oh Mr Knightley one moment more something of consequence so shocked Jane and I are both so shocked about the apples {para} What is the matter now {para} To think of your sending us all your store apples You said you had a great many and now you have not one left We really are so shocked Mrs Hodges may well be angry William Larkins mentioned it here You should not have done it indeed you should not Ah he is off He never can bear to be thanked But I thought he would have staid now and it would have been a pity not to have mentioned Well returning to the room I have not been able to succeed Mr Knightley cannot stop He is going to Kingston He asked me if he could do any thing {para} Yes said Jane we heard his kind offers we heard every thing {para} Oh yes my dear I dare say you might because you know the door was open and the window was open and Mr Knightley spoke loud You must have heard every thing to be sure Can I do any thing for you at Kingston said he so I just mentioned Oh Miss Woodhouse must you be going You seem but just come so very obliging of you {para} Emma found it really time to be at home the visit had already lasted long and on examining watches so much of the morning was perceived to be gone that Mrs Weston and her companion taking leave also could allow themselves only to walk with the two young ladies to Hartfield gates before they set off for Randalls {para} CHAPTER XI {para} It may be possible to do without dancing entirely Instances have been known of young people passing many many months successively without being at any ball of any description and no material injury accrue either to body or mind but when a beginning is made when the felicities of rapid motion have once been though slightly felt it must be a very heavy set that does not ask for more {para} Frank Churchill had danced once at Highbury and longed to dance again and the last half hour of an evening which Mr Woodhouse was persuaded to spend with his daughter at Randalls was passed by the two young people in schemes on the subject Frank 's was the first idea and his the greatest zeal in pursuing it for the lady was the best judge of the difficulties and the most solicitous for accommodation and appearance But still she had inclination enough for shewing people again how delightfully Mr Frank Churchill and Miss Woodhouse danced for doing that in which she need not blush to compare herself with Jane Fairfax and even for simple dancing itself without any of the wicked aids of vanity to assist him first in pacing out the room they were in to see what it could be made to hold and then in taking the dimensions of the other parlour in the hope of discovering in spite of all that Mr Weston could say of their exactly equal size that it was a little the largest {para} His first proposition and request that the dance begun at Mr Cole 's should be finished there that the same party should be collected and the same musician engaged met with the readiest acquiescence Mr Weston entered into the idea with thorough enjoyment and Mrs Weston most willingly undertook to play as long as they could wish to dance and the interesting employment had followed of reckoning up exactly who there would be and portioning out the indispensable division of space to every couple {para} You and Miss Smith and Miss Fairfax will be three and the two Miss Coxes five had been repeated many times over And there will be the two Gilberts young Cox my father and myself besides Mr Knightley Yes that will be quite enough for pleasure You and Miss Smith and Miss Fairfax will be three and the two Miss Coxes five and for five couple there will be plenty of room {para} But soon it came to be on one side {para} But will there be good room for five couple I really do not think there will {para} On another {para} And after all five couple are not enough to make it worth while to stand up Five couple are nothing when one thinks seriously about it It will not do to invite five couple It can be allowable only as the thought of the moment {para} Somebody said that Miss Gilbert was expected at her brother 's and must be invited with the rest Somebody else believed Mrs Gilbert would have danced the other evening if she had been asked A word was put in for a second young Cox and at last Mr Weston naming one family of cousins who must be included and another of very old acquaintance who could not be left out it became a certainty that the five couple would be at least ten and a very interesting speculation in what possible manner they could be disposed of {para} The doors of the two rooms were just opposite each other Might not they use both rooms and dance across the passage It seemed the best scheme and yet it was not so good but that many of them wanted a better Emma said it would be awkward Mrs Weston was in distress about the supper and Mr Woodhouse opposed it earnestly on the score of health It made him so very unhappy indeed that it could not be persevered in {para} Oh no said he it would be the extreme of imprudence I could not bear it for Emma Emma is not strong She would catch a dreadful cold So would poor little Harriet So you would all Mrs Weston you would be quite laid up do not let them talk of such a wild thing Pray do not let them talk of it That young man speaking lower is very thoughtless Do not tell his father but that young man is not quite the thing He has been opening the doors very often this evening and keeping them open very inconsiderately He does not think of the draught I do not mean to set you against him but indeed he is not quite the thing {para} Mrs Weston was sorry for such a charge She knew the importance of it and said every thing in her power to do it away Every door was now closed the passage plan given up and the first scheme of dancing only in the room they were in resorted to again and with such good will on Frank Churchill 's part that the space which a quarter of an hour before had been deemed barely sufficient for five couple was now endeavoured to be made out quite enough for ten {para} We were too magnificent said he We allowed unnecessary room Ten couple may stand here very well {para} Emma demurred It would be a crowd a sad crowd and what could be worse than dancing without space to turn in {para} Very true he gravely replied it was very bad But still he went on measuring and still he ended with {para} I think there will be very tolerable room for ten couple {para} No no said she you are quite unreasonable It would be dreadful to be standing so close Nothing can be farther from pleasure than to be dancing in a crowd and a crowd in a little room {para} There is no denying it he replied I agree with you exactly A crowd in a little room Miss Woodhouse you have the art of giving pictures in a few words Exquisite quite exquisite Still however having proceeded so far one is unwilling to give the matter up It would be a disappointment to my father and altogether I do not know that I am rather of opinion that ten couple might stand here very well {para} Emma perceived that the nature of his gallantry was a little self willed and that he would rather oppose than lose the pleasure of dancing with her but she took the compliment and forgave the rest Had she intended ever to marry him it might have been worth while to pause and consider and try to understand the value of his preference and the character of his temper but for all the purposes of their acquaintance he was quite amiable enough {para} Before the middle of the next day he was at Hartfield and he entered the room with such an agreeable smile as certified the continuance of the scheme It soon appeared that he came to announce an improvement {para} Well Miss Woodhouse he almost immediately began your inclination for dancing has not been quite frightened away I hope by the terrors of my father 's little rooms I bring a new proposal on the subject a thought of my father 's which waits only your approbation to be acted upon May I hope for the honour of your hand for the two first dances of this little projected ball to be given not at Randalls but at the Crown Inn {para} The Crown {para} Yes if you and Mr Woodhouse see no objection and I trust you cannot my father hopes his friends will be so kind as to visit him there Better accommodations he can promise them and not a less grateful welcome than at Randalls It is his own idea Mrs Weston sees no objection to it provided you are satisfied This is what we all feel Oh you were perfectly right Ten couple in either of the Randalls rooms would have been insufferable Dreadful I felt how right you were the whole time but was too anxious for securing any thing to like to yield Is not it a good exchange You consent I hope you consent {para} It appears to me a plan that nobody can object to if Mr and Mrs Weston do not I think it admirable and as far as I can answer for myself shall be most happy It seems the only improvement that could be Papa do you not think it an excellent improvement {para} She was obliged to repeat and explain it before it was fully comprehended and then being quite new farther representations were necessary to make it acceptable {para} No he thought it very far from an improvement a very bad plan much worse than the other A room at an inn was always damp and dangerous never properly aired or fit to be inhabited If they must dance they had better dance at Randalls He had never been in the room at the Crown in his life did not know the people who kept it by sight Oh no a very bad plan They would catch worse colds at the Crown than anywhere {para} I was going to observe sir said Frank Churchill that one of the great recommendations of this change would be the very little danger of any body 's catching cold so much less danger at the Crown than at Randalls Mr Perry might have reason to regret the alteration but nobody else could {para} Sir said Mr Woodhouse rather warmly you are very much mistaken if you suppose Mr Perry to be that sort of character Mr Perry is extremely concerned when any of us are ill But I do not understand how the room at the Crown can be safer for you than your father 's house {para} From the very circumstance of its being larger sir We shall have no occasion to open the windows at all not once the whole evening and it is that dreadful habit of opening the windows letting in cold air upon heated bodies which as you well know sir does the mischief {para} Open the windows but surely Mr Churchill nobody would think of opening the windows at Randalls Nobody could be so imprudent I never heard of such a thing Dancing with open windows I am sure neither your father nor Mrs Weston poor Miss Taylor that was would suffer it {para} Ah sir but a thoughtless young person will sometimes step behind a window curtain and throw up a sash without its being suspected I have often known it done myself {para} Have you indeed sir Bless me I never could have supposed it But I live out of the world and am often astonished at what I hear However this does make a difference and perhaps when we come to talk it over but these sort of things require a good deal of consideration One cannot resolve upon them in a hurry If Mr and Mrs Weston will be so obliging as to call here one morning we may talk it over and see what can be done {para} But unfortunately sir my time is so limited {para} Oh interrupted Emma there will be plenty of time for talking every thing over There is no hurry at all If it can be contrived to be at the Crown papa it will be very convenient for the horses They will be so near their own stable {para} So they will my dear That is a great thing Not that James ever complains but it is right to spare our horses when we can If I could be sure of the rooms being thoroughly aired but is Mrs Stokes to be trusted I doubt it I do not know her even by sight {para} I can answer for every thing of that nature sir because it will be under Mrs Weston 's care Mrs Weston undertakes to direct the whole {para} There papa Now you must be satisfied Our own dear Mrs Weston who is carefulness itself Do not you remember what Mr Perry said so many years ago when I had the measles If Miss Taylor undertakes to wrap Miss Emma up you need not have any fears sir How often have I heard you speak of it as such a compliment to her {para} Aye very true Mr Perry did say so I shall never forget it Poor little Emma You were very bad with the measles that is you would have been very bad but for Perry 's great attention He came four times a day for a week He said from the first it was a very good sort which was our great comfort but the measles are a dreadful complaint I hope whenever poor Isabella 's little ones have the measles she will send for Perry {para} My father and Mrs Weston are at the Crown at this moment said Frank Churchill examining the capabilities of the house I left them there and came on to Hartfield impatient for your opinion and hoping you might be persuaded to join them and give your advice on the spot I was desired to say so from both It would be the greatest pleasure to them if you could allow me to attend you there They can do nothing satisfactorily without you {para} Emma was most happy to be called to such a council and her father engaging to think it all over while she was gone the two young people set off together without delay for the Crown There were Mr and Mrs Weston delighted to see her and receive her approbation very busy and very happy in their different way she in some little distress and he finding every thing perfect {para} Emma said she this paper is worse than I expected Look in places you see it is dreadfully dirty and the wainscot is more yellow and forlorn than any thing I could have imagined {para} My dear you are too particular said her husband What does all that signify You will see nothing of it by candlelight It will be as clean as Randalls by candlelight We never see any thing of it on our club nights {para} The ladies here probably exchanged looks which meant Men never know when things are dirty or not and the gentlemen perhaps thought each to himself Women will have their little nonsenses and needless cares {para} One perplexity however arose which the gentlemen did not disdain It regarded a supper room At the time of the ballroom 's being built suppers had not been in question and a small card room adjoining was the only addition What was to be done This card room would be wanted as a card room now or if cards were conveniently voted unnecessary by their four selves still was it not too small for any comfortable supper Another room of much better size might be secured for the purpose but it was at the other end of the house and a long awkward passage must be gone through to get at it This made a difficulty Mrs Weston was afraid of draughts for the young people in that passage and neither Emma nor the gentlemen could tolerate the prospect of being miserably crowded at supper {para} Mrs Weston proposed having no regular supper merely sandwiches &c set out in the little room but that was scouted as a wretched suggestion A private dance without sitting down to supper was pronounced an infamous fraud upon the rights of men and women and Mrs Weston must not speak of it again She then took another line of expediency and looking into the doubtful room observed {para} I do not think it is so very small We shall not be many you know {para} And Mr Weston at the same time walking briskly with long steps through the passage was calling out {para} You talk a great deal of the length of this passage my dear It is a mere nothing after all and not the least draught from the stairs {para} I wish said Mrs Weston one could know which arrangement our guests in general would like best To do what would be most generally pleasing must be our object if one could but tell what that would be {para} Yes very true cried Frank very true You want your neighbours opinions I do not wonder at you If one could ascertain what the chief of them the Coles for instance They are not far off Shall I call upon them Or Miss Bates She is still nearer And I do not know whether Miss Bates is not as likely to understand the inclinations of the rest of the people as any body I think we do want a larger council Suppose I go and invite Miss Bates to join us {para} Well if you please said Mrs Weston rather hesitating if you think she will be of any use {para} You will get nothing to the purpose from Miss Bates said Emma She will be all delight and gratitude but she will tell you nothing She will not even listen to your questions I see no advantage in consulting Miss Bates {para} But she is so amusing so extremely amusing I am very fond of hearing Miss Bates talk And I need not bring the whole family you know {para} Here Mr Weston joined them and on hearing what was proposed gave it his decided approbation {para} Aye do Frank Go and fetch Miss Bates and let us end the matter at once She will enjoy the scheme I am sure and I do not know a properer person for shewing us how to do away difficulties Fetch Miss Bates We are growing a little too nice She is a standing lesson of how to be happy But fetch them both Invite them both {para} Both sir Can the old lady {para} The old lady No the young lady to be sure I shall think you a great blockhead Frank if you bring the aunt without the niece {para} Oh I beg your pardon sir I did not immediately recollect Undoubtedly if you wish it I will endeavour to persuade them both And away he ran {para} Long before he reappeared attending the short neat brisk moving aunt and her elegant niece Mrs Weston like a sweet tempered woman and a good wife had examined the passage again and found the evils of it much less than she had supposed before indeed very trifling and here ended the difficulties of decision All the rest in speculation at least was perfectly smooth All the minor arrangements of table and chair lights and music tea and supper made themselves or were left as mere trifles to be settled at any time between Mrs Weston and Mrs Stokes Every body invited was certainly to come Frank had already written to Enscombe to propose staying a few days beyond his fortnight which could not possibly be refused And a delightful dance it was to be {para} Most cordially when Miss Bates arrived did she agree that it must As a counsellor she was not wanted but as an approver a much safer character she was truly welcome Her approbation at once general and minute warm and incessant could not but please and for another half hour they were all walking to and fro between the different rooms some suggesting some attending and all in happy enjoyment of the future The party did not break up without Emma 's being positively secured for the two first dances by the hero of the evening nor without her overhearing Mr Weston whisper to his wife He has asked her my dear That 's right I knew he would {para} CHAPTER XII {para} One thing only was wanting to make the prospect of the ball completely satisfactory to Emma its being fixed for a day within the granted term of Frank Churchill 's stay in Surry for in spite of Mr Weston 's confidence she could not think it so very impossible that the Churchills might not allow their nephew to remain a day beyond his fortnight But this was not judged feasible The preparations must take their time nothing could be properly ready till the third week were entered on and for a few days they must be planning proceeding and hoping in uncertainty at the risk in her opinion the great risk of its being all in vain {para} Enscombe however was gracious gracious in fact if not in word His wish of staying longer evidently did not please but it was not opposed All was safe and prosperous and as the removal of one solicitude generally makes way for another Emma being now certain of her ball began to adopt as the next vexation Mr Knightley 's provoking indifference about it Either because he did not dance himself or because the plan had been formed without his being consulted he seemed resolved that it should not interest him determined against its exciting any present curiosity or affording him any future amusement To her voluntary communications Emma could get no more approving reply than {para} Very well If the Westons think it worth while to be at all this trouble for a few hours of noisy entertainment I have nothing to say against it but that they shall not chuse pleasures for me Oh yes I must be there I could not refuse and I will keep as much awake as I can but I would rather be at home looking over William Larkins 's week 's account much rather I confess Pleasure in seeing dancing not I indeed I never look at it I do not know who does Fine dancing I believe like virtue must be its own reward Those who are standing by are usually thinking of something very different {para} This Emma felt was aimed at her and it made her quite angry It was not in compliment to Jane Fairfax however that he was so indifferent or so indignant he was not guided by her feelings in reprobating the ball for she enjoyed the thought of it to an extraordinary degree It made her animated open hearted she voluntarily said {para} Oh Miss Woodhouse I hope nothing may happen to prevent the ball What a disappointment it would be I do look forward to it I own with very great pleasure {para} It was not to oblige Jane Fairfax therefore that he would have preferred the society of William Larkins No she was more and more convinced that Mrs Weston was quite mistaken in that surmise There was a great deal of friendly and of compassionate attachment on his side but no love {para} Alas there was soon no leisure for quarrelling with Mr Knightley Two days of joyful security were immediately followed by the over throw of every thing A letter arrived from Mr Churchill to urge his nephew 's instant return Mrs Churchill was unwell far too unwell to do without him she had been in a very suffering state so said her husband when writing to her nephew two days before though from her usual unwillingness to give pain and constant habit of never thinking of herself she had not mentioned it but now she was too ill to trifle and must entreat him to set off for Enscombe without delay {para} The substance of this letter was forwarded to Emma in a note from Mrs Weston instantly As to his going it was inevitable He must be gone within a few hours though without feeling any real alarm for his aunt to lessen his repugnance He knew her illnesses they never occurred but for her own convenience {para} Mrs Weston added that he could only allow himself time to hurry to Highbury after breakfast and take leave of the few friends there whom he could suppose to feel any interest in him and that he might be expected at Hartfield very soon {para} This wretched note was the finale of Emma 's breakfast When once it had been read there was no doing any thing but lament and exclaim The loss of the ball the loss of the young man and all that the young man might be feeling It was too wretched Such a delightful evening as it would have been Every body so happy and she and her partner the happiest I said it would be so was the only consolation {para} Her father 's feelings were quite distinct He thought principally of Mrs Churchill 's illness and wanted to know how she was treated and as for the ball it was shocking to have dear Emma disappointed but they would all be safer at home {para} Emma was ready for her visitor some time before he appeared but if this reflected at all upon his impatience his sorrowful look and total want of spirits when he did come might redeem him He felt the going away almost too much to speak of it His dejection was most evident He sat really lost in thought for the first few minutes and when rousing himself it was only to say {para} Of all horrid things leave taking is the worst {para} But you will come again said Emma This will not be your only visit to Randalls {para} Ah shaking his head the uncertainty of when I may be able to return I shall try for it with a zeal It will be the object of all my thoughts and cares and if my uncle and aunt go to town this spring but I am afraid they did not stir last spring I am afraid it is a custom gone for ever {para} Our poor ball must be quite given up {para} Ah that ball why did we wait for any thing why not seize the pleasure at once How often is happiness destroyed by preparation foolish preparation You told us it would be so Oh Miss Woodhouse why are you always so right {para} Indeed I am very sorry to be right in this instance I would much rather have been merry than wise {para} If I can come again we are still to have our ball My father depends on it Do not forget your engagement {para} Emma looked graciously {para} Such a fortnight as it has been he continued every day more precious and more delightful than the day before every day making me less fit to bear any other place Happy those who can remain at Highbury {para} As you do us such ample justice now said Emma laughing I will venture to ask whether you did not come a little doubtfully at first Do not we rather surpass your expectations I am sure we do I am sure you did not much expect to like us You would not have been so long in coming if you had had a pleasant idea of Highbury {para} He laughed rather consciously and though denying the sentiment Emma was convinced that it had been so {para} And you must be off this very morning {para} Yes my father is to join me here we shall walk back together and I must be off immediately I am almost afraid that every moment will bring him {para} Not five minutes to spare even for your friends Miss Fairfax and Miss Bates How unlucky Miss Bates 's powerful argumentative mind might have strengthened yours {para} Yes I have called there passing the door I thought it better It was a right thing to do I went in for three minutes and was detained by Miss Bates 's being absent She was out and I felt it impossible not to wait till she came in She is a woman that one may that one must laugh at but that one would not wish to slight It was better to pay my visit then {para} He hesitated got up walked to a window {para} In short said he perhaps Miss Woodhouse I think you can hardly be quite without suspicion {para} He looked at her as if wanting to read her thoughts She hardly knew what to say It seemed like the forerunner of something absolutely serious which she did not wish Forcing herself to speak therefore in the hope of putting it by she calmly said {para} You are quite in the right it was most natural to pay your visit then {para} He was silent She believed he was looking at her probably reflecting on what she had said and trying to understand the manner She heard him sigh It was natural for him to feel that he had cause to sigh He could not believe her to be encouraging him A few awkward moments passed and he sat down again and in a more determined manner said {para} It was something to feel that all the rest of my time might be given to Hartfield My regard for Hartfield is most warm {para} He stopt again rose again and seemed quite embarrassed He was more in love with her than Emma had supposed and who can say how it might have ended if his father had not made his appearance Mr Woodhouse soon followed and the necessity of exertion made him composed {para} A very few minutes more however completed the present trial Mr Weston always alert when business was to be done and as incapable of procrastinating any evil that was inevitable as of foreseeing any that was doubtful said It was time to go and the young man though he might and did sigh could not but agree to take leave {para} I shall hear about you all said he that is my chief consolation I shall hear of every thing that is going on among you I have engaged Mrs Weston to correspond with me She has been so kind as to promise it Oh the blessing of a female correspondent when one is really interested in the absent she will tell me every thing In her letters I shall be at dear Highbury again {para} A very friendly shake of the hand a very earnest Good bye closed the speech and the door had soon shut out Frank Churchill Short had been the notice short their meeting he was gone and Emma felt so sorry to part and foresaw so great a loss to their little society from his absence as to begin to be afraid of being too sorry and feeling it too much {para} It was a sad change They had been meeting almost every day since his arrival Certainly his being at Randalls had given great spirit to the last two weeks indescribable spirit the idea the expectation of seeing him which every morning had brought the assurance of his attentions his liveliness his manners It had been a very happy fortnight and forlorn must be the sinking from it into the common course of Hartfield days To complete every other recommendation he had almost told her that he loved her What strength or what constancy of affection he might be subject to was another point but at present she could not doubt his having a decidedly warm admiration a conscious preference of herself and this persuasion joined to all the rest made her think that she must be a little in love with him in spite of every previous determination against it {para} I certainly must said she This sensation of listlessness weariness stupidity this disinclination to sit down and employ myself this feeling of every thing 's being dull and insipid about the house I must be in love I should be the oddest creature in the world if I were not for a few weeks at least Well evil to some is always good to others I shall have many fellow mourners for the ball if not for Frank Churchill but Mr Knightley will be happy He may spend the evening with his dear William Larkins now if he likes {para} Mr Knightley however shewed no triumphant happiness He could not say that he was sorry on his own account his very cheerful look would have contradicted him if he had but he said and very steadily that he was sorry for the disappointment of the others and with considerable kindness added {para} You Emma who have so few opportunities of dancing you are really out of luck you are very much out of luck {para} It was some days before she saw Jane Fairfax to judge of her honest regret in this woeful change but when they did meet her composure was odious She had been particularly unwell however suffering from headache to a degree which made her aunt declare that had the ball taken place she did not think Jane could have attended it and it was charity to impute some of her unbecoming indifference to the languor of ill health {para} CHAPTER XIII {para} Emma continued to entertain no doubt of her being in love Her ideas only varied as to the how much At first she thought it was a good deal and afterwards but little She had great pleasure in hearing Frank Churchill talked of and for his sake greater pleasure than ever in seeing Mr and Mrs Weston she was very often thinking of him and quite impatient for a letter that she might know how he was how were his spirits how was his aunt and what was the chance of his coming to Randalls again this spring But on the other hand she could not admit herself to be unhappy nor after the first morning to be less disposed for employment than usual she was still busy and cheerful and pleasing as he was she could yet imagine him to have faults and farther though thinking of him so much and as she sat drawing or working forming a thousand amusing schemes for the progress and close of their attachment fancying interesting dialogues and inventing elegant letters the conclusion of every imaginary declaration on his side was that she refused him Their affection was always to subside into friendship Every thing tender and charming was to mark their parting but still they were to part When she became sensible of this it struck her that she could not be very much in love for in spite of her previous and fixed determination never to quit her father never to marry a strong attachment certainly must produce more of a struggle than she could foresee in her own feelings {para} I do not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice said she In not one of all my clever replies my delicate negatives is there any allusion to making a sacrifice I do suspect that he is not really necessary to my happiness So much the better I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do I am quite enough in love I should be sorry to be more {para} Upon the whole she was equally contented with her view of his feelings {para} He is undoubtedly very much in love every thing denotes it very much in love indeed and when he comes again if his affection continue I must be on my guard not to encourage it It would be most inexcusable to do otherwise as my own mind is quite made up Not that I imagine he can think I have been encouraging him hitherto No if he had believed me at all to share his feelings he would not have been so wretched Could he have thought himself encouraged his looks and language at parting would have been different Still however I must be on my guard This is in the supposition of his attachment continuing what it now is but I do not know that I expect it will I do not look upon him to be quite the sort of man I do not altogether build upon his steadiness or constancy His feelings are warm but I can imagine them rather changeable Every consideration of the subject in short makes me thankful that my happiness is not more deeply involved I shall do very well again after a little while and then it will be a good thing over for they say every body is in love once in their lives and I shall have been let off easily {para} When his letter to Mrs Weston arrived Emma had the perusal of it and she read it with a degree of pleasure and admiration which made her at first shake her head over her own sensations and think she had undervalued their strength It was a long well written letter giving the particulars of his journey and of his feelings expressing all the affection gratitude and respect which was natural and honourable and describing every thing exterior and local that could be supposed attractive with spirit and precision No suspicious flourishes now of apology or concern it was the language of real feeling towards Mrs Weston and the transition from Highbury to Enscombe the contrast between the places in some of the first blessings of social life was just enough touched on to shew how keenly it was felt and how much more might have been said but for the restraints of propriety The charm of her own name was not wanting Miss Woodhouse appeared more than once and never without a something of pleasing connexion either a compliment to her taste or a remembrance of what she had said and in the very last time of its meeting her eye unadorned as it was by any such broad wreath of gallantry she yet could discern the effect of her influence and acknowledge the greatest compliment perhaps of all conveyed Compressed into the very lowest vacant corner were these words I had not a spare moment on Tuesday as you know for Miss Woodhouse 's beautiful little friend Pray make my excuses and adieus to her This Emma could not doubt was all for herself Harriet was remembered only from being her friend His information and prospects as to Enscombe were neither worse nor better than had been anticipated Mrs Churchill was recovering and he dared not yet even in his own imagination fix a time for coming to Randalls again {para} Gratifying however and stimulative as was the letter in the material part its sentiments she yet found when it was folded up and returned to Mrs Weston that it had not added any lasting warmth that she could still do without the writer and that he must learn to do without her Her intentions were unchanged Her resolution of refusal only grew more interesting by the addition of a scheme for his subsequent consolation and happiness His recollection of Harriet and the words which clothed it the beautiful little friend suggested to her the idea of Harriet 's succeeding her in his affections Was it impossible No Harriet undoubtedly was greatly his inferior in understanding but he had been very much struck with the loveliness of her face and the warm simplicity of her manner and all the probabilities of circumstance and connexion were in her favour For Harriet it would be advantageous and delightful indeed {para} I must not dwell upon it said she I must not think of it I know the danger of indulging such speculations But stranger things have happened and when we cease to care for each other as we do now it will be the means of confirming us in that sort of true disinterested friendship which I can already look forward to with pleasure {para} It was well to have a comfort in store on Harriet 's behalf though it might be wise to let the fancy touch it seldom for evil in that quarter was at hand As Frank Churchill 's arrival had succeeded Mr Elton 's engagement in the conversation of Highbury as the latest interest had entirely borne down the first so now upon Frank Churchill 's disappearance Mr Elton 's concerns were assuming the most irresistible form His wedding day was named He would soon be among them again Mr Elton and his bride There was hardly time to talk over the first letter from Enscombe before Mr Elton and his bride was in every body 's mouth and Frank Churchill was forgotten Emma grew sick at the sound She had had three weeks of happy exemption from Mr Elton and Harriet 's mind she had been willing to hope had been lately gaining strength With Mr Weston 's ball in view at least there had been a great deal of insensibility to other things but it was now too evident that she had not attained such a state of composure as could stand against the actual approach new carriage bell ringing and all {para} Poor Harriet was in a flutter of spirits which required all the reasonings and soothings and attentions of every kind that Emma could give Emma felt that she could not do too much for her that Harriet had a right to all her ingenuity and all her patience but it was heavy work to be for ever convincing without producing any effect for ever agreed to without being able to make their opinions the same Harriet listened submissively and said it was very true it was just as Miss Woodhouse described it was not worth while to think about them and she would not think about them any longer but no change of subject could avail and the next half hour saw her as anxious and restless about the Eltons as before At last Emma attacked her on another ground {para} Your allowing yourself to be so occupied and so unhappy about Mr Elton 's marrying Harriet is the strongest reproach you can make me You could not give me a greater reproof for the mistake I fell into It was all my doing I know I have not forgotten it I assure you Deceived myself I did very miserably deceive you and it will be a painful reflection to me for ever Do not imagine me in danger of forgetting it {para} Harriet felt this too much to utter more than a few words of eager exclamation Emma continued {para} I have not said exert yourself Harriet for my sake think less talk less of Mr Elton for my sake because for your own sake rather I would wish it to be done for the sake of what is more important than my comfort a habit of self command in you a consideration of what is your duty an attention to propriety an endeavour to avoid the suspicions of others to save your health and credit and restore your tranquillity These are the motives which I have been pressing on you They are very important and sorry I am that you cannot feel them sufficiently to act upon them My being saved from pain is a very secondary consideration I want you to save yourself from greater pain Perhaps I may sometimes have felt that Harriet would not forget what was due or rather what would be kind by me {para} This appeal to her affections did more than all the rest The idea of wanting gratitude and consideration for Miss Woodhouse whom she really loved extremely made her wretched for a while and when the violence of grief was comforted away still remained powerful enough to prompt to what was right and support her in it very tolerably {para} You who have been the best friend I ever had in my life Want gratitude to you Nobody is equal to you I care for nobody as I do for you Oh Miss Woodhouse how ungrateful I have been {para} Such expressions assisted as they were by every thing that look and manner could do made Emma feel that she had never loved Harriet so well nor valued her affection so highly before {para} There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart said she afterwards to herself There is nothing to be compared to it Warmth and tenderness of heart with an affectionate open manner will beat all the clearness of head in the world for attraction I am sure it will It is tenderness of heart which makes my dear father so generally beloved which gives Isabella all her popularity I have it not but I know how to prize and respect it Harriet is my superior in all the charm and all the felicity it gives Dear Harriet I would not change you for the clearest headed longest sighted best judging female breathing Oh the coldness of a Jane Fairfax Harriet is worth a hundred such And for a wife a sensible man 's wife it is invaluable I mention no names but happy the man who changes Emma for Harriet {para} CHAPTER XIV {para} Mrs Elton was first seen at church but though devotion might be interrupted curiosity could not be satisfied by a bride in a pew and it must be left for the visits in form which were then to be paid to settle whether she were very pretty indeed or only rather pretty or not pretty at all {para} Emma had feelings less of curiosity than of pride or propriety to make her resolve on not being the last to pay her respects and she made a point of Harriet 's going with her that the worst of the business might be gone through as soon as possible {para} She could not enter the house again could not be in the same room to which she had with such vain artifice retreated three months ago to lace up her boot without recollecting A thousand vexatious thoughts would recur Compliments charades and horrible blunders and it was not to be supposed that poor Harriet should not be recollecting too but she behaved very well and was only rather pale and silent The visit was of course short and there was so much embarrassment and occupation of mind to shorten it that Emma would not allow herself entirely to form an opinion of the lady and on no account to give one beyond the nothing meaning terms of being elegantly dressed and very pleasing {para} She did not really like her She would not be in a hurry to find fault but she suspected that there was no elegance ease but not elegance She was almost sure that for a young woman a stranger a bride there was too much ease Her person was rather good her face not unpretty but neither feature nor air nor voice nor manner were elegant Emma thought at least it would turn out so {para} As for Mr Elton his manners did not appear but no she would not permit a hasty or a witty word from herself about his manners It was an awkward ceremony at any time to be receiving wedding visits and a man had need be all grace to acquit himself well through it The woman was better off she might have the assistance of fine clothes and the privilege of bashfulness but the man had only his own good sense to depend on and when she considered how peculiarly unlucky poor Mr Elton was in being in the same room at once with the woman he had just married the woman he had wanted to marry and the woman whom he had been expected to marry she must allow him to have the right to look as little wise and to be as much affectedly and as little really easy as could be {para} Well Miss Woodhouse said Harriet when they had quitted the house and after waiting in vain for her friend to begin Well Miss Woodhouse with a gentle sigh what do you think of her Is not she very charming {para} There was a little hesitation in Emma 's answer {para} Oh yes very a very pleasing young woman {para} I think her beautiful quite beautiful {para} Very nicely dressed indeed a remarkably elegant gown {para} I am not at all surprized that he should have fallen in love {para} Oh no there is nothing to surprize one at all A pretty fortune and she came in his way {para} I dare say returned Harriet sighing again I dare say she was very much attached to him {para} Perhaps she might but it is not every man 's fate to marry the woman who loves him best Miss Hawkins perhaps wanted a home and thought this the best offer she was likely to have {para} Yes said Harriet earnestly and well she might nobody could ever have a better Well I wish them happy with all my heart And now Miss Woodhouse I do not think I shall mind seeing them again He is just as superior as ever but being married you know it is quite a different thing No indeed Miss Woodhouse you need not be afraid I can sit and admire him now without any great misery To know that he has not thrown himself away is such a comfort She does seem a charming young woman just what he deserves Happy creature He called her Augusta How delightful {para} When the visit was returned Emma made up her mind She could then see more and judge better From Harriet 's happening not to be at Hartfield and her father 's being present to engage Mr Elton she had a quarter of an hour of the lady 's conversation to herself and could composedly attend to her and the quarter of an hour quite convinced her that Mrs Elton was a vain woman extremely well satisfied with herself and thinking much of her own importance that she meant to shine and be very superior but with manners which had been formed in a bad school pert and familiar that all her notions were drawn from one set of people and one style of living that if not foolish she was ignorant and that her society would certainly do Mr Elton no good {para} Harriet would have been a better match If not wise or refined herself she would have connected him with those who were but Miss Hawkins it might be fairly supposed from her easy conceit had been the best of her own set The rich brother in law near Bristol was the pride of the alliance and his place and his carriages were the pride of him {para} The very first subject after being seated was Maple Grove My brother Mr Suckling 's seat a comparison of Hartfield to Maple Grove The grounds of Hartfield were small but neat and pretty and the house was modern and well built Mrs Elton seemed most favourably impressed by the size of the room the entrance and all that she could see or imagine Very like Maple Grove indeed She was quite struck by the likeness That room was the very shape and size of the morning room at Maple Grove her sister 's favourite room Mr Elton was appealed to Was not it astonishingly like She could really almost fancy herself at Maple Grove {para} And the staircase You know as I came in I observed how very like the staircase was placed exactly in the same part of the house I really could not help exclaiming I assure you Miss Woodhouse it is very delightful to me to be reminded of a place I am so extremely partial to as Maple Grove I have spent so many happy months there with a little sigh of sentiment A charming place undoubtedly Every body who sees it is struck by its beauty but to me it has been quite a home Whenever you are transplanted like me Miss Woodhouse you will understand how very delightful it is to meet with any thing at all like what one has left behind I always say this is quite one of the evils of matrimony {para} Emma made as slight a reply as she could but it was fully sufficient for Mrs Elton who only wanted to be talking herself {para} So extremely like Maple Grove And it is not merely the house the grounds I assure you as far as I could observe are strikingly like The laurels at Maple Grove are in the same profusion as here and stand very much in the same way just across the lawn and I had a glimpse of a fine large tree with a bench round it which put me so exactly in mind My brother and sister will be enchanted with this place People who have extensive grounds themselves are always pleased with any thing in the same style {para} Emma doubted the truth of this sentiment She had a great idea that people who had extensive grounds themselves cared very little for the extensive grounds of any body else but it was not worth while to attack an error so double dyed and therefore only said in reply {para} When you have seen more of this country I am afraid you will think you have overrated Hartfield Surry is full of beauties {para} Oh yes I am quite aware of that It is the garden of England you know Surry is the garden of England {para} Yes but we must not rest our claims on that distinction Many counties I believe are called the garden of England as well as Surry {para} No I fancy not replied Mrs Elton with a most satisfied smile I never heard any county but Surry called so {para} Emma was silenced {para} My brother and sister have promised us a visit in the spring or summer at farthest continued Mrs Elton and that will be our time for exploring While they are with us we shall explore a great deal I dare say They will have their barouche landau of course which holds four perfectly and therefore without saying any thing of our carriage we should be able to explore the different beauties extremely well They would hardly come in their chaise I think at that season of the year Indeed when the time draws on I shall decidedly recommend their bringing the barouche landau it will be so very much preferable When people come into a beautiful country of this sort you know Miss Woodhouse one naturally wishes them to see as much as possible and Mr Suckling is extremely fond of exploring We explored to King 's Weston twice last summer in that way most delightfully just after their first having the barouche landau You have many parties of that kind here I suppose Miss Woodhouse every summer {para} No not immediately here We are rather out of distance of the very striking beauties which attract the sort of parties you speak of and we are a very quiet set of people I believe more disposed to stay at home than engage in schemes of pleasure {para} Ah there is nothing like staying at home for real comfort Nobody can be more devoted to home than I am I was quite a proverb for it at Maple Grove Many a time has Selina said when she has been going to Bristol I really cannot get this girl to move from the house I absolutely must go in by myself though I hate being stuck up in the barouche landau without a companion but Augusta I believe with her own good will would never stir beyond the park paling Many a time has she said so and yet I am no advocate for entire seclusion I think on the contrary when people shut themselves up entirely from society it is a very bad thing and that it is much more advisable to mix in the world in a proper degree without living in it either too much or too little I perfectly understand your situation however Miss Woodhouse looking towards Mr Woodhouse Your father 's state of health must be a great drawback Why does not he try Bath Indeed he should Let me recommend Bath to you I assure you I have no doubt of its doing Mr Woodhouse good {para} My father tried it more than once formerly but without receiving any benefit and Mr Perry whose name I dare say is not unknown to you does not conceive it would be at all more likely to be useful now {para} Ah that 's a great pity for I assure you Miss Woodhouse where the waters do agree it is quite wonderful the relief they give In my Bath life I have seen such instances of it And it is so cheerful a place that it could not fail of being of use to Mr Woodhouse 's spirits which I understand are sometimes much depressed And as to its recommendations to you I fancy I need not take much pains to dwell on them The advantages of Bath to the young are pretty generally understood It would be a charming introduction for you who have lived so secluded a life and I could immediately secure you some of the best society in the place A line from me would bring you a little host of acquaintance and my particular friend Mrs Partridge the lady I have always resided with when in Bath would be most happy to shew you any attentions and would be the very person for you to go into public with {para} It was as much as Emma could bear without being impolite The idea of her being indebted to Mrs Elton for what was called an introduction of her going into public under the auspices of a friend of Mrs Elton 's probably some vulgar dashing widow who with the help of a boarder just made a shift to live The dignity of Miss Woodhouse of Hartfield was sunk indeed {para} She restrained herself however from any of the reproofs she could have given and only thanked Mrs Elton coolly but their going to Bath was quite out of the question and she was not perfectly convinced that the place might suit her better than her father And then to prevent farther outrage and indignation changed the subject directly {para} I do not ask whether you are musical Mrs Elton Upon these occasions a lady 's character generally precedes her and Highbury has long known that you are a superior performer {para} Oh no indeed I must protest against any such idea A superior performer very far from it I assure you Consider from how partial a quarter your information came I am doatingly fond of music passionately fond and my friends say I am not entirely devoid of taste but as to any thing else upon my honour my performance is mediocre to the last degree You Miss Woodhouse I well know play delightfully I assure you it has been the greatest satisfaction comfort and delight to me to hear what a musical society I am got into I absolutely cannot do without music It is a necessary of life to me and having always been used to a very musical society both at Maple Grove and in Bath it would have been a most serious sacrifice I honestly said as much to Mr E when he was speaking of my future home and expressing his fears lest the retirement of it should be disagreeable and the inferiority of the house too knowing what I had been accustomed to of course he was not wholly without apprehension When he was speaking of it in that way I honestly said that the world I could give up parties balls plays for I had no fear of retirement Blessed with so many resources within myself the world was not necessary to me I could do very well without it To those who had no resources it was a different thing but my resources made me quite independent And as to smaller sized rooms than I had been used to I really could not give it a thought I hoped I was perfectly equal to any sacrifice of that description Certainly I had been accustomed to every luxury at Maple Grove but I did assure him that two carriages were not necessary to my happiness nor were spacious apartments But said I to be quite honest I do not think I can live without something of a musical society I condition for nothing else but without music life would be a blank to me {para} We cannot suppose said Emma smiling that Mr Elton would hesitate to assure you of there being a very musical society in Highbury and I hope you will not find he has outstepped the truth more than may be pardoned in consideration of the motive {para} No indeed I have no doubts at all on that head I am delighted to find myself in such a circle I hope we shall have many sweet little concerts together I think Miss Woodhouse you and I must establish a musical club and have regular weekly meetings at your house or ours Will not it be a good plan If we exert ourselves I think we shall not be long in want of allies Something of that nature would be particularly desirable for me as an inducement to keep me in practice for married women you know there is a sad story against them in general They are but too apt to give up music {para} But you who are so extremely fond of it there can be no danger surely {para} I should hope not but really when I look around among my acquaintance I tremble Selina has entirely given up music never touches the instrument though she played sweetly And the same may be said of Mrs Jeffereys Clara Partridge that was and of the two Milmans now Mrs Bird and Mrs James Cooper and of more than I can enumerate Upon my word it is enough to put one in a fright I used to be quite angry with Selina but really I begin now to comprehend that a married woman has many things to call her attention I believe I was half an hour this morning shut up with my housekeeper {para} But every thing of that kind said Emma will soon be in so regular a train {para} Well said Mrs Elton laughing we shall see {para} Emma finding her so determined upon neglecting her music had nothing more to say and after a moment 's pause Mrs Elton chose another subject {para} We have been calling at Randalls said she and found them both at home and very pleasant people they seem to be I like them extremely Mr Weston seems an excellent creature quite a first rate favourite with me already I assure you And she appears so truly good there is something so motherly and kind hearted about her that it wins upon one directly She was your governess I think {para} Emma was almost too much astonished to answer but Mrs Elton hardly waited for the affirmative before she went on {para} Having understood as much I was rather astonished to find her so very lady like But she is really quite the gentlewoman {para} Mrs Weston 's manners said Emma were always particularly good Their propriety simplicity and elegance would make them the safest model for any young woman {para} And who do you think came in while we were there {para} Emma was quite at a loss The tone implied some old acquaintance and how could she possibly guess {para} Knightley continued Mrs Elton Knightley himself Was not it lucky for not being within when he called the other day I had never seen him before and of course as so particular a friend of Mr E 's I had a great curiosity My friend Knightley had been so often mentioned that I was really impatient to see him and I must do my caro sposo the justice to say that he need not be ashamed of his friend Knightley is quite the gentleman I like him very much Decidedly I think a very gentleman like man {para} Happily it was now time to be gone They were off and Emma could breathe {para} Insufferable woman was her immediate exclamation Worse than I had supposed Absolutely insufferable Knightley I could not have believed it Knightley never seen him in her life before and call him Knightley and discover that he is a gentleman A little upstart vulgar being with her Mr E and her caro sposo and her resources and all her airs of pert pretension and underbred finery Actually to discover that Mr Knightley is a gentleman I doubt whether he will return the compliment and discover her to be a lady I could not have believed it And to propose that she and I should unite to form a musical club One would fancy we were bosom friends And Mrs Weston Astonished that the person who had brought me up should be a gentlewoman Worse and worse I never met with her equal Much beyond my hopes Harriet is disgraced by any comparison Oh what would Frank Churchill say to her if he were here How angry and how diverted he would be Ah there I am thinking of him directly Always the first person to be thought of How I catch myself out Frank Churchill comes as regularly into my mind {para} All this ran so glibly through her thoughts that by the time her father had arranged himself after the bustle of the Eltons departure and was ready to speak she was very tolerably capable of attending {para} Well my dear he deliberately began considering we never saw her before she seems a very pretty sort of young lady and I dare say she was very much pleased with you She speaks a little too quick A little quickness of voice there is which rather hurts the ear But I believe I am nice I do not like strange voices and nobody speaks like you and poor Miss Taylor However she seems a very obliging pretty behaved young lady and no doubt will make him a very good wife Though I think he had better not have married I made the best excuses I could for not having been able to wait on him and Mrs Elton on this happy occasion I said that I hoped I should in the course of the summer But I ought to have gone before Not to wait upon a bride is very remiss Ah it shews what a sad invalid I am But I do not like the corner into Vicarage Lane {para} I dare say your apologies were accepted sir Mr Elton knows you {para} Yes but a young lady a bride I ought to have paid my respects to her if possible It was being very deficient {para} But my dear papa you are no friend to matrimony and therefore why should you be so anxious to pay your respects to a bride It ought to be no recommendation to you It is encouraging people to marry if you make so much of them {para} No my dear I never encouraged any body to marry but I would always wish to pay every proper attention to a lady and a bride especially is never to be neglected More is avowedly due to her A bride you know my dear is always the first in company let the others be who they may {para} Well papa if this is not encouragement to marry I do not know what is And I should never have expected you to be lending your sanction to such vanity baits for poor young ladies {para} My dear you do not understand me This is a matter of mere common politeness and good breeding and has nothing to do with any encouragement to people to marry {para} Emma had done Her father was growing nervous and could not understand her Her mind returned to Mrs Elton 's offences and long very long did they occupy her {para} CHAPTER XV {para} Emma was not required by any subsequent discovery to retract her ill opinion of Mrs Elton Her observation had been pretty correct Such as Mrs Elton appeared to her on this second interview such she appeared whenever they met again self important presuming familiar ignorant and ill bred She had a little beauty and a little accomplishment but so little judgment that she thought herself coming with superior knowledge of the world to enliven and improve a country neighbourhood and conceived Miss Hawkins to have held such a place in society as Mrs Elton 's consequence only could surpass {para} There was no reason to suppose Mr Elton thought at all differently from his wife He seemed not merely happy with her but proud He had the air of congratulating himself on having brought such a woman to Highbury as not even Miss Woodhouse could equal and the greater part of her new acquaintance disposed to commend or not in the habit of judging following the lead of Miss Bates 's good will or taking it for granted that the bride must be as clever and as agreeable as she professed herself were very well satisfied so that Mrs Elton 's praise passed from one mouth to another as it ought to do unimpeded by Miss Woodhouse who readily continued her first contribution and talked with a good grace of her being very pleasant and very elegantly dressed {para} In one respect Mrs Elton grew even worse than she had appeared at first Her feelings altered towards Emma Offended probably by the little encouragement which her proposals of intimacy met with she drew back in her turn and gradually became much more cold and distant and though the effect was agreeable the ill will which produced it was necessarily increasing Emma 's dislike Her manners too and Mr Elton 's were unpleasant towards Harriet They were sneering and negligent Emma hoped it must rapidly work Harriet 's cure but the sensations which could prompt such behaviour sunk them both very much It was not to be doubted that poor Harriet 's attachment had been an offering to conjugal unreserve and her own share in the story under a colouring the least favourable to her and the most soothing to him had in all likelihood been given also She was of course the object of their joint dislike When they had nothing else to say it must be always easy to begin abusing Miss Woodhouse and the enmity which they dared not shew in open disrespect to her found a broader vent in contemptuous treatment of Harriet {para} Mrs Elton took a great fancy to Jane Fairfax and from the first Not merely when a state of warfare with one young lady might be supposed to recommend the other but from the very first and she was not satisfied with expressing a natural and reasonable admiration but without solicitation or plea or privilege she must be wanting to assist and befriend her Before Emma had forfeited her confidence and about the third time of their meeting she heard all Mrs Elton 's knight errantry on the subject {para} Jane Fairfax is absolutely charming Miss Woodhouse I quite rave about Jane Fairfax A sweet interesting creature So mild and ladylike and with such talents I assure you I think she has very extraordinary talents I do not scruple to say that she plays extremely well I know enough of music to speak decidedly on that point Oh she is absolutely charming You will laugh at my warmth but upon my word I talk of nothing but Jane Fairfax And her situation is so calculated to affect one Miss Woodhouse we must exert ourselves and endeavour to do something for her We must bring her forward Such talent as hers must not be suffered to remain unknown I dare say you have heard those charming lines of the poet {para} Full many a flower is born to blush unseen And waste its fragrance on the desert air {para} We must not allow them to be verified in sweet Jane Fairfax {para} I cannot think there is any danger of it was Emma 's calm answer and when you are better acquainted with Miss Fairfax 's situation and understand what her home has been with Colonel and Mrs Campbell I have no idea that you will suppose her talents can be unknown {para} Oh but dear Miss Woodhouse she is now in such retirement such obscurity so thrown away Whatever advantages she may have enjoyed with the Campbells are so palpably at an end And I think she feels it I am sure she does She is very timid and silent One can see that she feels the want of encouragement I like her the better for it I must confess it is a recommendation to me I am a great advocate for timidity and I am sure one does not often meet with it But in those who are at all inferior it is extremely prepossessing Oh I assure you Jane Fairfax is a very delightful character and interests me more than I can express {para} You appear to feel a great deal but I am not aware how you or any of Miss Fairfax 's acquaintance here any of those who have known her longer than yourself can shew her any other attention than {para} My dear Miss Woodhouse a vast deal may be done by those who dare to act You and I need not be afraid If we set the example many will follow it as far as they can though all have not our situations We have carriages to fetch and convey her home and we live in a style which could not make the addition of Jane Fairfax at any time the least inconvenient I should be extremely displeased if Wright were to send us up such a dinner as could make me regret having asked more than Jane Fairfax to partake of it I have no idea of that sort of thing It is not likely that I should considering what I have been used to My greatest danger perhaps in housekeeping may be quite the other way in doing too much and being too careless of expense Maple Grove will probably be my model more than it ought to be for we do not at all affect to equal my brother Mr Suckling in income However my resolution is taken as to noticing Jane Fairfax I shall certainly have her very often at my house shall introduce her wherever I can shall have musical parties to draw out her talents and shall be constantly on the watch for an eligible situation My acquaintance is so very extensive that I have little doubt of hearing of something to suit her shortly I shall introduce her of course very particularly to my brother and sister when they come to us I am sure they will like her extremely and when she gets a little acquainted with them her fears will completely wear off for there really is nothing in the manners of either but what is highly conciliating I shall have her very often indeed while they are with me and I dare say we shall sometimes find a seat for her in the barouche landau in some of our exploring parties {para} Poor Jane Fairfax thought Emma You have not deserved this You may have done wrong with regard to Mr Dixon but this is a punishment beyond what you can have merited The kindness and protection of Mrs Elton Jane Fairfax and Jane Fairfax Heavens Let me not suppose that she dares go about Emma Woodhouse ing me But upon my honour there seems no limits to the licentiousness of that woman 's tongue {para} Emma had not to listen to such paradings again to any so exclusively addressed to herself so disgustingly decorated with a dear Miss Woodhouse The change on Mrs Elton 's side soon afterwards appeared and she was left in peace neither forced to be the very particular friend of Mrs Elton nor under Mrs Elton 's guidance the very active patroness of Jane Fairfax and only sharing with others in a general way in knowing what was felt what was meditated what was done {para} She looked on with some amusement Miss Bates 's gratitude for Mrs Elton 's attentions to Jane was in the first style of guileless simplicity and warmth She was quite one of her worthies the most amiable affable delightful woman just as accomplished and condescending as Mrs Elton meant to be considered Emma 's only surprize was that Jane Fairfax should accept those attentions and tolerate Mrs Elton as she seemed to do She heard of her walking with the Eltons sitting with the Eltons spending a day with the Eltons This was astonishing She could not have believed it possible that the taste or the pride of Miss Fairfax could endure such society and friendship as the Vicarage had to offer {para} She is a riddle quite a riddle said she To chuse to remain here month after month under privations of every sort And now to chuse the mortification of Mrs Elton 's notice and the penury of her conversation rather than return to the superior companions who have always loved her with such real generous affection {para} Jane had come to Highbury professedly for three months the Campbells were gone to Ireland for three months but now the Campbells had promised their daughter to stay at least till Midsummer and fresh invitations had arrived for her to join them there According to Miss Bates it all came from her Mrs Dixon had written most pressingly Would Jane but go means were to be found servants sent friends contrived no travelling difficulty allowed to exist but still she had declined it {para} She must have some motive more powerful than appears for refusing this invitation was Emma 's conclusion She must be under some sort of penance inflicted either by the Campbells or herself There is great fear great caution great resolution somewhere She is not to be with the Dixons The decree is issued by somebody But why must she consent to be with the Eltons Here is quite a separate puzzle {para} Upon her speaking her wonder aloud on that part of the subject before the few who knew her opinion of Mrs Elton Mrs Weston ventured this apology for Jane {para} We cannot suppose that she has any great enjoyment at the Vicarage my dear Emma but it is better than being always at home Her aunt is a good creature but as a constant companion must be very tiresome We must consider what Miss Fairfax quits before we condemn her taste for what she goes to {para} You are right Mrs Weston said Mr Knightley warmly Miss Fairfax is as capable as any of us of forming a just opinion of Mrs Elton Could she have chosen with whom to associate she would not have chosen her But with a reproachful smile at Emma she receives attentions from Mrs Elton which nobody else pays her {para} Emma felt that Mrs Weston was giving her a momentary glance and she was herself struck by his warmth With a faint blush she presently replied {para} Such attentions as Mrs Elton 's I should have imagined would rather disgust than gratify Miss Fairfax Mrs Elton 's invitations I should have imagined any thing but inviting {para} I should not wonder said Mrs Weston if Miss Fairfax were to have been drawn on beyond her own inclination by her aunt 's eagerness in accepting Mrs Elton 's civilities for her Poor Miss Bates may very likely have committed her niece and hurried her into a greater appearance of intimacy than her own good sense would have dictated in spite of the very natural wish of a little change {para} Both felt rather anxious to hear him speak again and after a few minutes silence he said {para} Another thing must be taken into consideration too Mrs Elton does not talk to Miss Fairfax as she speaks of her We all know the difference between the pronouns he or she and thou the plainest spoken amongst us we all feel the influence of a something beyond common civility in our personal intercourse with each other a something more early implanted We cannot give any body the disagreeable hints that we may have been very full of the hour before We feel things differently And besides the operation of this as a general principle you may be sure that Miss Fairfax awes Mrs Elton by her superiority both of mind and manner and that face to face Mrs Elton treats her with all the respect which she has a claim to Such a woman as Jane Fairfax probably never fell in Mrs Elton 's way before and no degree of vanity can prevent her acknowledging her own comparative littleness in action if not in consciousness {para} I know how highly you think of Jane Fairfax said Emma Little Henry was in her thoughts and a mixture of alarm and delicacy made her irresolute what else to say {para} Yes he replied any body may know how highly I think of her {para} And yet said Emma beginning hastily and with an arch look but soon stopping it was better however to know the worst at once she hurried on And yet perhaps you may hardly be aware yourself how highly it is The extent of your admiration may take you by surprize some day or other {para} Mr Knightley was hard at work upon the lower buttons of his thick leather gaiters and either the exertion of getting them together or some other cause brought the colour into his face as he answered {para} Oh are you there But you are miserably behindhand Mr Cole gave me a hint of it six weeks ago {para} He stopped Emma felt her foot pressed by Mrs Weston and did not herself know what to think In a moment he went on {para} That will never be however I can assure you Miss Fairfax I dare say would not have me if I were to ask her and I am very sure I shall never ask her {para} Emma returned her friend 's pressure with interest and was pleased enough to exclaim {para} You are not vain Mr Knightley I will say that for you {para} He seemed hardly to hear her he was thoughtful and in a manner which shewed him not pleased soon afterwards said {para} So you have been settling that I should marry Jane Fairfax {para} No indeed I have not You have scolded me too much for match making for me to presume to take such a liberty with you What I said just now meant nothing One says those sort of things of course without any idea of a serious meaning Oh no upon my word I have not the smallest wish for your marrying Jane Fairfax or Jane any body You would not come in and sit with us in this comfortable way if you were married {para} Mr Knightley was thoughtful again The result of his reverie was No Emma I do not think the extent of my admiration for her will ever take me by surprize I never had a thought of her in that way I assure you And soon afterwards Jane Fairfax is a very charming young woman but not even Jane Fairfax is perfect She has a fault She has not the open temper which a man would wish for in a wife {para} Emma could not but rejoice to hear that she had a fault Well said she and you soon silenced Mr Cole I suppose {para} Yes very soon He gave me a quiet hint I told him he was mistaken he asked my pardon and said no more Cole does not want to be wiser or wittier than his neighbours {para} In that respect how unlike dear Mrs Elton who wants to be wiser and wittier than all the world I wonder how she speaks of the Coles what she calls them How can she find any appellation for them deep enough in familiar vulgarity She calls you Knightley what can she do for Mr Cole And so I am not to be surprized that Jane Fairfax accepts her civilities and consents to be with her Mrs Weston your argument weighs most with me I can much more readily enter into the temptation of getting away from Miss Bates than I can believe in the triumph of Miss Fairfax 's mind over Mrs Elton I have no faith in Mrs Elton 's acknowledging herself the inferior in thought word or deed or in her being under any restraint beyond her own scanty rule of good breeding I cannot imagine that she will not be continually insulting her visitor with praise encouragement and offers of service that she will not be continually detailing her magnificent intentions from the procuring her a permanent situation to the including her in those delightful exploring parties which are to take place in the barouche landau {para} Jane Fairfax has feeling said Mr Knightley I do not accuse her of want of feeling Her sensibilities I suspect are strong and her temper excellent in its power of forbearance patience self controul but it wants openness She is reserved more reserved I think than she used to be And I love an open temper No till Cole alluded to my supposed attachment it had never entered my head I saw Jane Fairfax and conversed with her with admiration and pleasure always but with no thought beyond {para} Well Mrs Weston said Emma triumphantly when he left them what do you say now to Mr Knightley 's marrying Jane Fairfax {para} Why really dear Emma I say that he is so very much occupied by the idea of not being in love with her that I should not wonder if it were to end in his being so at last Do not beat me {para} CHAPTER XVI {para} Every body in and about Highbury who had ever visited Mr Elton was disposed to pay him attention on his marriage Dinner parties and evening parties were made for him and his lady and invitations flowed in so fast that she had soon the pleasure of apprehending they were never to have a disengaged day {para} I see how it is said she I see what a life I am to lead among you Upon my word we shall be absolutely dissipated We really seem quite the fashion If this is living in the country it is nothing very formidable From Monday next to Saturday I assure you we have not a disengaged day A woman with fewer resources than I have need not have been at a loss {para} No invitation came amiss to her Her Bath habits made evening parties perfectly natural to her and Maple Grove had given her a taste for dinners She was a little shocked at the want of two drawing rooms at the poor attempt at rout cakes and there being no ice in the Highbury card parties Mrs Bates Mrs Perry Mrs Goddard and others were a good deal behind hand in knowledge of the world but she would soon shew them how every thing ought to be arranged In the course of the spring she must return their civilities by one very superior party in which her card tables should be set out with their separate candles and unbroken packs in the true style and more waiters engaged for the evening than their own establishment could furnish to carry round the refreshments at exactly the proper hour and in the proper order {para} Emma in the meanwhile could not be satisfied without a dinner at Hartfield for the Eltons They must not do less than others or she should be exposed to odious suspicions and imagined capable of pitiful resentment A dinner there must be After Emma had talked about it for ten minutes Mr Woodhouse felt no unwillingness and only made the usual stipulation of not sitting at the bottom of the table himself with the usual regular difficulty of deciding who should do it for him {para} The persons to be invited required little thought Besides the Eltons it must be the Westons and Mr Knightley so far it was all of course and it was hardly less inevitable that poor little Harriet must be asked to make the eighth but this invitation was not given with equal satisfaction and on many accounts Emma was particularly pleased by Harriet 's begging to be allowed to decline it She would rather not be in his company more than she could help She was not yet quite able to see him and his charming happy wife together without feeling uncomfortable If Miss Woodhouse would not be displeased she would rather stay at home It was precisely what Emma would have wished had she deemed it possible enough for wishing She was delighted with the fortitude of her little friend for fortitude she knew it was in her to give up being in company and stay at home and she could now invite the very person whom she really wanted to make the eighth Jane Fairfax Since her last conversation with Mrs Weston and Mr Knightley she was more conscience stricken about Jane Fairfax than she had often been Mr Knightley 's words dwelt with her He had said that Jane Fairfax received attentions from Mrs Elton which nobody else paid her {para} This is very true said she at least as far as relates to me which was all that was meant and it is very shameful Of the same age and always knowing her I ought to have been more her friend She will never like me now I have neglected her too long But I will shew her greater attention than I have done {para} Every invitation was successful They were all disengaged and all happy The preparatory interest of this dinner however was not yet over A circumstance rather unlucky occurred The two eldest little Knightleys were engaged to pay their grandpapa and aunt a visit of some weeks in the spring and their papa now proposed bringing them and staying one whole day at Hartfield which one day would be the very day of this party His professional engagements did not allow of his being put off but both father and daughter were disturbed by its happening so Mr Woodhouse considered eight persons at dinner together as the utmost that his nerves could bear and here would be a ninth and Emma apprehended that it would be a ninth very much out of humour at not being able to come even to Hartfield for forty eight hours without falling in with a dinner party {para} She comforted her father better than she could comfort herself by representing that though he certainly would make them nine yet he always said so little that the increase of noise would be very immaterial She thought it in reality a sad exchange for herself to have him with his grave looks and reluctant conversation opposed to her instead of his brother {para} The event was more favourable to Mr Woodhouse than to Emma John Knightley came but Mr Weston was unexpectedly summoned to town and must be absent on the very day He might be able to join them in the evening but certainly not to dinner Mr Woodhouse was quite at ease and the seeing him so with the arrival of the little boys and the philosophic composure of her brother on hearing his fate removed the chief of even Emma 's vexation {para} The day came the party were punctually assembled and Mr John Knightley seemed early to devote himself to the business of being agreeable Instead of drawing his brother off to a window while they waited for dinner he was talking to Miss Fairfax Mrs Elton as elegant as lace and pearls could make her he looked at in silence wanting only to observe enough for Isabella 's information but Miss Fairfax was an old acquaintance and a quiet girl and he could talk to her He had met her before breakfast as he was returning from a walk with his little boys when it had been just beginning to rain It was natural to have some civil hopes on the subject and he said {para} I hope you did not venture far Miss Fairfax this morning or I am sure you must have been wet We scarcely got home in time I hope you turned directly {para} I went only to the post office said she and reached home before the rain was much It is my daily errand I always fetch the letters when I am here It saves trouble and is a something to get me out A walk before breakfast does me good {para} Not a walk in the rain I should imagine {para} No but it did not absolutely rain when I set out {para} Mr John Knightley smiled and replied {para} That is to say you chose to have your walk for you were not six yards from your own door when I had the pleasure of meeting you and Henry and John had seen more drops than they could count long before The post office has a great charm at one period of our lives When you have lived to my age you will begin to think letters are never worth going through the rain for {para} There was a little blush and then this answer {para} I must not hope to be ever situated as you are in the midst of every dearest connexion and therefore I cannot expect that simply growing older should make me indifferent about letters {para} Indifferent Oh no I never conceived you could become indifferent Letters are no matter of indifference they are generally a very positive curse {para} You are speaking of letters of business mine are letters of friendship {para} I have often thought them the worst of the two replied he coolly Business you know may bring money but friendship hardly ever does {para} Ah you are not serious now I know Mr John Knightley too well I am very sure he understands the value of friendship as well as any body I can easily believe that letters are very little to you much less than to me but it is not your being ten years older than myself which makes the difference it is not age but situation You have every body dearest to you always at hand I probably never shall again and therefore till I have outlived all my affections a post office I think must always have power to draw me out in worse weather than to day {para} When I talked of your being altered by time by the progress of years said John Knightley I meant to imply the change of situation which time usually brings I consider one as including the other Time will generally lessen the interest of every attachment not within the daily circle but that is not the change I had in view for you As an old friend you will allow me to hope Miss Fairfax that ten years hence you may have as many concentrated objects as I have {para} It was kindly said and very far from giving offence A pleasant thank you seemed meant to laugh it off but a blush a quivering lip a tear in the eye shewed that it was felt beyond a laugh Her attention was now claimed by Mr Woodhouse who being according to his custom on such occasions making the circle of his guests and paying his particular compliments to the ladies was ending with her and with all his mildest urbanity said {para} I am very sorry to hear Miss Fairfax of your being out this morning in the rain Young ladies should take care of themselves Young ladies are delicate plants They should take care of their health and their complexion My dear did you change your stockings {para} Yes sir I did indeed and I am very much obliged by your kind solicitude about me {para} My dear Miss Fairfax young ladies are very sure to be cared for I hope your good grand mama and aunt are well They are some of my very old friends I wish my health allowed me to be a better neighbour You do us a great deal of honour to day I am sure My daughter and I are both highly sensible of your goodness and have the greatest satisfaction in seeing you at Hartfield {para} The kind hearted polite old man might then sit down and feel that he had done his duty and made every fair lady welcome and easy {para} By this time the walk in the rain had reached Mrs Elton and her remonstrances now opened upon Jane {para} My dear Jane what is this I hear Going to the post office in the rain This must not be I assure you You sad girl how could you do such a thing It is a sign I was not there to take care of you {para} Jane very patiently assured her that she had not caught any cold {para} Oh do not tell me You really are a very sad girl and do not know how to take care of yourself To the post office indeed Mrs Weston did you ever hear the like You and I must positively exert our authority {para} My advice said Mrs Weston kindly and persuasively I certainly do feel tempted to give Miss Fairfax you must not run such risks Liable as you have been to severe colds indeed you ought to be particularly careful especially at this time of year The spring I always think requires more than common care Better wait an hour or two or even half a day for your letters than run the risk of bringing on your cough again Now do not you feel that you had Yes I am sure you are much too reasonable You look as if you would not do such a thing again {para} Oh she shall not do such a thing again eagerly rejoined Mrs Elton We will not allow her to do such a thing again and nodding significantly there must be some arrangement made there must indeed I shall speak to Mr E The man who fetches our letters every morning one of our men I forget his name shall inquire for yours too and bring them to you That will obviate all difficulties you know and from us I really think my dear Jane you can have no scruple to accept such an accommodation {para} You are extremely kind said Jane but I cannot give up my early walk I am advised to be out of doors as much as I can I must walk somewhere and the post office is an object and upon my word I have scarcely ever had a bad morning before {para} My dear Jane say no more about it The thing is determined that is laughing affectedly as far as I can presume to determine any thing without the concurrence of my lord and master You know Mrs Weston you and I must be cautious how we express ourselves But I do flatter myself my dear Jane that my influence is not entirely worn out If I meet with no insuperable difficulties therefore consider that point as settled {para} Excuse me said Jane earnestly I cannot by any means consent to such an arrangement so needlessly troublesome to your servant If the errand were not a pleasure to me it could be done as it always is when I am not here by my grandmama 's {para} Oh my dear but so much as Patty has to do And it is a kindness to employ our men {para} Jane looked as if she did not mean to be conquered but instead of answering she began speaking again to Mr John Knightley {para} The post office is a wonderful establishment said she The regularity and despatch of it If one thinks of all that it has to do and all that it does so well it is really astonishing {para} It is certainly very well regulated {para} So seldom that any negligence or blunder appears So seldom that a letter among the thousands that are constantly passing about the kingdom is even carried wrong and not one in a million I suppose actually lost And when one considers the variety of hands and of bad hands too that are to be deciphered it increases the wonder {para} The clerks grow expert from habit They must begin with some quickness of sight and hand and exercise improves them If you want any farther explanation continued he smiling they are paid for it That is the key to a great deal of capacity The public pays and must be served well {para} The varieties of handwriting were farther talked of and the usual observations made {para} I have heard it asserted said John Knightley that the same sort of handwriting often prevails in a family and where the same master teaches it is natural enough But for that reason I should imagine the likeness must be chiefly confined to the females for boys have very little teaching after an early age and scramble into any hand they can get Isabella and Emma I think do write very much alike I have not always known their writing apart {para} Yes said his brother hesitatingly there is a likeness I know what you mean but Emma 's hand is the strongest {para} Isabella and Emma both write beautifully said Mr Woodhouse and always did And so does poor Mrs Weston with half a sigh and half a smile at her {para} I never saw any gentleman 's handwriting Emma began looking also at Mrs Weston but stopped on perceiving that Mrs Weston was attending to some one else and the pause gave her time to reflect Now how am I going to introduce him Am I unequal to speaking his name at once before all these people Is it necessary for me to use any roundabout phrase Your Yorkshire friend your correspondent in Yorkshire that would be the way I suppose if I were very bad No I can pronounce his name without the smallest distress I certainly get better and better Now for it {para} Mrs Weston was disengaged and Emma began again Mr Frank Churchill writes one of the best gentleman 's hands I ever saw {para} I do not admire it said Mr Knightley It is too small wants strength It is like a woman 's writing {para} This was not submitted to by either lady They vindicated him against the base aspersion No it by no means wanted strength it was not a large hand but very clear and certainly strong Had not Mrs Weston any letter about her to produce No she had heard from him very lately but having answered the letter had put it away {para} If we were in the other room said Emma if I had my writing desk I am sure I could produce a specimen I have a note of his Do not you remember Mrs Weston employing him to write for you one day {para} He chose to say he was employed {para} Well well I have that note and can shew it after dinner to convince Mr Knightley {para} Oh when a gallant young man like Mr Frank Churchill said Mr Knightley dryly writes to a fair lady like Miss Woodhouse he will of course put forth his best {para} Dinner was on table Mrs Elton before she could be spoken to was ready and before Mr Woodhouse had reached her with his request to be allowed to hand her into the dining parlour was saying {para} Must I go first I really am ashamed of always leading the way {para} Jane 's solicitude about fetching her own letters had not escaped Emma She had heard and seen it all and felt some curiosity to know whether the wet walk of this morning had produced any She suspected that it had that it would not have been so resolutely encountered but in full expectation of hearing from some one very dear and that it had not been in vain She thought there was an air of greater happiness than usual a glow both of complexion and spirits {para} She could have made an inquiry or two as to the expedition and the expense of the Irish mails it was at her tongue 's end but she abstained She was quite determined not to utter a word that should hurt Jane Fairfax 's feelings and they followed the other ladies out of the room arm in arm with an appearance of good will highly becoming to the beauty and grace of each {para} CHAPTER XVII {para} When the ladies returned to the drawing room after dinner Emma found it hardly possible to prevent their making two distinct parties with so much perseverance in judging and behaving ill did Mrs Elton engross Jane Fairfax and slight herself She and Mrs Weston were obliged to be almost always either talking together or silent together Mrs Elton left them no choice If Jane repressed her for a little time she soon began again and though much that passed between them was in a half whisper especially on Mrs Elton 's side there was no avoiding a knowledge of their principal subjects The post office catching cold fetching letters and friendship were long under discussion and to them succeeded one which must be at least equally unpleasant to Jane inquiries whether she had yet heard of any situation likely to suit her and professions of Mrs Elton 's meditated activity {para} Here is April come said she I get quite anxious about you June will soon be here {para} But I have never fixed on June or any other month merely looked forward to the summer in general {para} But have you really heard of nothing {para} I have not even made any inquiry I do not wish to make any yet {para} Oh my dear we cannot begin too early you are not aware of the difficulty of procuring exactly the desirable thing {para} I not aware said Jane shaking her head dear Mrs Elton who can have thought of it as I have done {para} But you have not seen so much of the world as I have You do not know how many candidates there always are for the first situations I saw a vast deal of that in the neighbourhood round Maple Grove A cousin of Mr Suckling Mrs Bragge had such an infinity of applications every body was anxious to be in her family for she moves in the first circle Wax candles in the schoolroom You may imagine how desirable Of all houses in the kingdom Mrs Bragge 's is the one I would most wish to see you in {para} Colonel and Mrs Campbell are to be in town again by midsummer said Jane I must spend some time with them I am sure they will want it afterwards I may probably be glad to dispose of myself But I would not wish you to take the trouble of making any inquiries at present {para} Trouble aye I know your scruples You are afraid of giving me trouble but I assure you my dear Jane the Campbells can hardly be more interested about you than I am I shall write to Mrs Partridge in a day or two and shall give her a strict charge to be on the look out for any thing eligible {para} Thank you but I would rather you did not mention the subject to her till the time draws nearer I do not wish to be giving any body trouble {para} But my dear child the time is drawing near here is April and June or say even July is very near with such business to accomplish before us Your inexperience really amuses me A situation such as you deserve and your friends would require for you is no everyday occurrence is not obtained at a moment 's notice indeed indeed we must begin inquiring directly {para} Excuse me ma'am but this is by no means my intention I make no inquiry myself and should be sorry to have any made by my friends When I am quite determined as to the time I am not at all afraid of being long unemployed There are places in town offices where inquiry would soon produce something Offices for the sale not quite of human flesh but of human intellect {para} Oh my dear human flesh You quite shock me if you mean a fling at the slave trade I assure you Mr Suckling was always rather a friend to the abolition {para} I did not mean I was not thinking of the slave trade replied Jane governess trade I assure you was all that I had in view widely different certainly as to the guilt of those who carry it on but as to the greater misery of the victims I do not know where it lies But I only mean to say that there are advertising offices and that by applying to them I should have no doubt of very soon meeting with something that would do {para} Something that would do repeated Mrs Elton Aye that may suit your humble ideas of yourself I know what a modest creature you are but it will not satisfy your friends to have you taking up with any thing that may offer any inferior commonplace situation in a family not moving in a certain circle or able to command the elegancies of life {para} You are very obliging but as to all that I am very indifferent it would be no object to me to be with the rich my mortifications I think would only be the greater I should suffer more from comparison A gentleman 's family is all that I should condition for {para} I know you I know you you would take up with any thing but I shall be a little more nice and I am sure the good Campbells will be quite on my side with your superior talents you have a right to move in the first circle Your musical knowledge alone would entitle you to name your own terms have as many rooms as you like and mix in the family as much as you chose that is I do not know if you knew the harp you might do all that I am very sure but you sing as well as play yes I really believe you might even without the harp stipulate for what you chose and you must and shall be delightfully honourably and comfortably settled before the Campbells or I have any rest {para} You may well class the delight the honour and the comfort of such a situation together said Jane they are pretty sure to be equal however I am very serious in not wishing any thing to be attempted at present for me I am exceedingly obliged to you Mrs Elton I am obliged to any body who feels for me but I am quite serious in wishing nothing to be done till the summer For two or three months longer I shall remain where I am and as I am {para} And I am quite serious too I assure you replied Mrs Elton gaily in resolving to be always on the watch and employing my friends to watch also that nothing really unexceptionable may pass us {para} In this style she ran on never thoroughly stopped by any thing till Mr Woodhouse came into the room her vanity had then a change of object and Emma heard her saying in the same half whisper to Jane {para} Here comes this dear old beau of mine I protest Only think of his gallantry in coming away before the other men what a dear creature he is I assure you I like him excessively I admire all that quaint old fashioned politeness it is much more to my taste than modern ease modern ease often disgusts me But this good old Mr Woodhouse I wish you had heard his gallant speeches to me at dinner Oh I assure you I began to think my caro sposo would be absolutely jealous I fancy I am rather a favourite he took notice of my gown How do you like it Selina 's choice handsome I think but I do not know whether it is not over trimmed I have the greatest dislike to the idea of being over trimmed quite a horror of finery I must put on a few ornaments now because it is expected of me A bride you know must appear like a bride but my natural taste is all for simplicity a simple style of dress is so infinitely preferable to finery But I am quite in the minority I believe few people seem to value simplicity of dress show and finery are every thing I have some notion of putting such a trimming as this to my white and silver poplin Do you think it will look well {para} The whole party were but just reassembled in the drawing room when Mr Weston made his appearance among them He had returned to a late dinner and walked to Hartfield as soon as it was over He had been too much expected by the best judges for surprize but there was great joy Mr Woodhouse was almost as glad to see him now as he would have been sorry to see him before John Knightley only was in mute astonishment That a man who might have spent his evening quietly at home after a day of business in London should set off again and walk half a mile to another man 's house for the sake of being in mixed company till bed time of finishing his day in the efforts of civility and the noise of numbers was a circumstance to strike him deeply A man who had been in motion since eight o'clock in the morning and might now have been still who had been long talking and might have been silent who had been in more than one crowd and might have been alone Such a man to quit the tranquillity and independence of his own fireside and on the evening of a cold sleety April day rush out again into the world Could he by a touch of his finger have instantly taken back his wife there would have been a motive but his coming would probably prolong rather than break up the party John Knightley looked at him with amazement then shrugged his shoulders and said I could not have believed it even of him {para} Mr Weston meanwhile perfectly unsuspicious of the indignation he was exciting happy and cheerful as usual and with all the right of being principal talker which a day spent anywhere from home confers was making himself agreeable among the rest and having satisfied the inquiries of his wife as to his dinner convincing her that none of all her careful directions to the servants had been forgotten and spread abroad what public news he had heard was proceeding to a family communication which though principally addressed to Mrs Weston he had not the smallest doubt of being highly interesting to every body in the room He gave her a letter it was from Frank and to herself he had met with it in his way and had taken the liberty of opening it {para} Read it read it said he it will give you pleasure only a few lines will not take you long read it to Emma {para} The two ladies looked over it together and he sat smiling and talking to them the whole time in a voice a little subdued but very audible to every body {para} Well he is coming you see good news I think Well what do you say to it I always told you he would be here again soon did not I Anne my dear did not I always tell you so and you would not believe me In town next week you see at the latest I dare say for she is as impatient as the black gentleman when any thing is to be done most likely they will be there to morrow or Saturday As to her illness all nothing of course But it is an excellent thing to have Frank among us again so near as town They will stay a good while when they do come and he will be half his time with us This is precisely what I wanted Well pretty good news is not it Have you finished it Has Emma read it all Put it up put it up we will have a good talk about it some other time but it will not do now I shall only just mention the circumstance to the others in a common way {para} Mrs Weston was most comfortably pleased on the occasion Her looks and words had nothing to restrain them She was happy she knew she was happy and knew she ought to be happy Her congratulations were warm and open but Emma could not speak so fluently She was a little occupied in weighing her own feelings and trying to understand the degree of her agitation which she rather thought was considerable {para} Mr Weston however too eager to be very observant too communicative to want others to talk was very well satisfied with what she did say and soon moved away to make the rest of his friends happy by a partial communication of what the whole room must have overheard already {para} It was well that he took every body 's joy for granted or he might not have thought either Mr Woodhouse or Mr Knightley particularly delighted They were the first entitled after Mrs Weston and Emma to be made happy from them he would have proceeded to Miss Fairfax but she was so deep in conversation with John Knightley that it would have been too positive an interruption and finding himself close to Mrs Elton and her attention disengaged he necessarily began on the subject with her {para} CHAPTER XVIII {para} I hope I shall soon have the pleasure of introducing my son to you said Mr Weston {para} Mrs Elton very willing to suppose a particular compliment intended her by such a hope smiled most graciously {para} You have heard of a certain Frank Churchill I presume he continued and know him to be my son though he does not bear my name {para} Oh yes and I shall be very happy in his acquaintance I am sure Mr Elton will lose no time in calling on him and we shall both have great pleasure in seeing him at the Vicarage {para} You are very obliging Frank will be extremely happy I am sure He is to be in town next week if not sooner We have notice of it in a letter to day I met the letters in my way this morning and seeing my son 's hand presumed to open it though it was not directed to me it was to Mrs Weston She is his principal correspondent I assure you I hardly ever get a letter {para} And so you absolutely opened what was directed to her Oh Mr Weston laughing affectedly I must protest against that A most dangerous precedent indeed I beg you will not let your neighbours follow your example Upon my word if this is what I am to expect we married women must begin to exert ourselves Oh Mr Weston I could not have believed it of you {para} Aye we men are sad fellows You must take care of yourself Mrs Elton This letter tells us it is a short letter written in a hurry merely to give us notice it tells us that they are all coming up to town directly on Mrs Churchill 's account she has not been well the whole winter and thinks Enscombe too cold for her so they are all to move southward without loss of time {para} Indeed from Yorkshire I think Enscombe is in Yorkshire {para} Yes they are about one hundred and ninety miles from London a considerable journey {para} Yes upon my word very considerable Sixty five miles farther than from Maple Grove to London But what is distance Mr Weston to people of large fortune You would be amazed to hear how my brother Mr Suckling sometimes flies about You will hardly believe me but twice in one week he and Mr Bragge went to London and back again with four horses {para} The evil of the distance from Enscombe said Mr Weston is that Mrs Churchill as we understand has not been able to leave the sofa for a week together In Frank 's last letter she complained he said of being too weak to get into her conservatory without having both his arm and his uncle 's This you know speaks a great degree of weakness but now she is so impatient to be in town that she means to sleep only two nights on the road So Frank writes word Certainly delicate ladies have very extraordinary constitutions Mrs Elton You must grant me that {para} No indeed I shall grant you nothing I Always take the part of my own sex I do indeed I give you notice You will find me a formidable antagonist on that point I always stand up for women and I assure you if you knew how Selina feels with respect to sleeping at an inn you would not wonder at Mrs Churchill 's making incredible exertions to avoid it Selina says it is quite horror to her and I believe I have caught a little of her nicety She always travels with her own sheets an excellent precaution Does Mrs Churchill do the same {para} Depend upon it Mrs Churchill does every thing that any other fine lady ever did Mrs Churchill will not be second to any lady in the land for {para} Mrs Elton eagerly interposed with {para} Oh Mr Weston do not mistake me Selina is no fine lady I assure you Do not run away with such an idea {para} Is not she Then she is no rule for Mrs Churchill who is as thorough a fine lady as any body ever beheld {para} Mrs Elton began to think she had been wrong in disclaiming so warmly It was by no means her object to have it believed that her sister was not a fine lady perhaps there was want of spirit in the pretence of it and she was considering in what way she had best retract when Mr Weston went on {para} Mrs Churchill is not much in my good graces as you may suspect but this is quite between ourselves She is very fond of Frank and therefore I would not speak ill of her Besides she is out of health now but that indeed by her own account she has always been I would not say so to every body Mrs Elton but I have not much faith in Mrs Churchill 's illness {para} If she is really ill why not go to Bath Mr Weston To Bath or to Clifton She has taken it into her head that Enscombe is too cold for her The fact is I suppose that she is tired of Enscombe She has now been a longer time stationary there than she ever was before and she begins to want change It is a retired place A fine place but very retired {para} Aye like Maple Grove I dare say Nothing can stand more retired from the road than Maple Grove Such an immense plantation all round it You seem shut out from every thing in the most complete retirement And Mrs Churchill probably has not health or spirits like Selina to enjoy that sort of seclusion Or perhaps she may not have resources enough in herself to be qualified for a country life I always say a woman cannot have too many resources and I feel very thankful that I have so many myself as to be quite independent of society {para} Frank was here in February for a fortnight {para} So I remember to have heard He will find an addition to the society of Highbury when he comes again that is if I may presume to call myself an addition But perhaps he may never have heard of there being such a creature in the world {para} This was too loud a call for a compliment to be passed by and Mr Weston with a very good grace immediately exclaimed {para} My dear madam Nobody but yourself could imagine such a thing possible Not heard of you I believe Mrs Weston 's letters lately have been full of very little else than Mrs Elton {para} He had done his duty and could return to his son {para} When Frank left us continued he it was quite uncertain when we might see him again which makes this day 's news doubly welcome It has been completely unexpected That is I always had a strong persuasion he would be here again soon I was sure something favourable would turn up but nobody believed me He and Mrs Weston were both dreadfully desponding How could he contrive to come And how could it be supposed that his uncle and aunt would spare him again and so forth I always felt that something would happen in our favour and so it has you see I have observed Mrs Elton in the course of my life that if things are going untowardly one month they are sure to mend the next {para} Very true Mr Weston perfectly true It is just what I used to say to a certain gentleman in company in the days of courtship when because things did not go quite right did not proceed with all the rapidity which suited his feelings he was apt to be in despair and exclaim that he was sure at this rate it would be May before Hymen 's saffron robe would be put on for us Oh the pains I have been at to dispel those gloomy ideas and give him cheerfuller views The carriage we had disappointments about the carriage one morning I remember he came to me quite in despair {para} She was stopped by a slight fit of coughing and Mr Weston instantly seized the opportunity of going on {para} You were mentioning May May is the very month which Mrs Churchill is ordered or has ordered herself to spend in some warmer place than Enscombe in short to spend in London so that we have the agreeable prospect of frequent visits from Frank the whole spring precisely the season of the year which one should have chosen for it days almost at the longest weather genial and pleasant always inviting one out and never too hot for exercise When he was here before we made the best of it but there was a good deal of wet damp cheerless weather there always is in February you know and we could not do half that we intended Now will be the time This will be complete enjoyment and I do not know Mrs Elton whether the uncertainty of our meetings the sort of constant expectation there will be of his coming in to day or to morrow and at any hour may not be more friendly to happiness than having him actually in the house I think it is so I think it is the state of mind which gives most spirit and delight I hope you will be pleased with my son but you must not expect a prodigy He is generally thought a fine young man but do not expect a prodigy Mrs Weston 's partiality for him is very great and as you may suppose most gratifying to me She thinks nobody equal to him {para} And I assure you Mr Weston I have very little doubt that my opinion will be decidedly in his favour I have heard so much in praise of Mr Frank Churchill At the same time it is fair to observe that I am one of those who always judge for themselves and are by no means implicitly guided by others I give you notice that as I find your son so I shall judge of him I am no flatterer {para} Mr Weston was musing {para} I hope said he presently I have not been severe upon poor Mrs Churchill If she is ill I should be sorry to do her injustice but there are some traits in her character which make it difficult for me to speak of her with the forbearance I could wish You cannot be ignorant Mrs Elton of my connexion with the family nor of the treatment I have met with and between ourselves the whole blame of it is to be laid to her She was the instigator Frank 's mother would never have been slighted as she was but for her Mr Churchill has pride but his pride is nothing to his wife 's his is a quiet indolent gentlemanlike sort of pride that would harm nobody and only make himself a little helpless and tiresome but her pride is arrogance and insolence And what inclines one less to bear she has no fair pretence of family or blood She was nobody when he married her barely the daughter of a gentleman but ever since her being turned into a Churchill she has out Churchill 'd them all in high and mighty claims but in herself I assure you she is an upstart {para} Only think well that must be infinitely provoking I have quite a horror of upstarts Maple Grove has given me a thorough disgust to people of that sort for there is a family in that neighbourhood who are such an annoyance to my brother and sister from the airs they give themselves Your description of Mrs Churchill made me think of them directly People of the name of Tupman very lately settled there and encumbered with many low connexions but giving themselves immense airs and expecting to be on a footing with the old established families A year and a half is the very utmost that they can have lived at West Hall and how they got their fortune nobody knows They came from Birmingham which is not a place to promise much you know Mr Weston One has not great hopes from Birmingham I always say there is something direful in the sound but nothing more is positively known of the Tupmans though a good many things I assure you are suspected and yet by their manners they evidently think themselves equal even to my brother Mr Suckling who happens to be one of their nearest neighbours It is infinitely too bad Mr Suckling who has been eleven years a resident at Maple Grove and whose father had it before him I believe at least I am almost sure that old Mr Suckling had completed the purchase before his death {para} They were interrupted Tea was carrying round and Mr Weston having said all that he wanted soon took the opportunity of walking away {para} After tea Mr and Mrs Weston and Mr Elton sat down with Mr Woodhouse to cards The remaining five were left to their own powers and Emma doubted their getting on very well for Mr Knightley seemed little disposed for conversation Mrs Elton was wanting notice which nobody had inclination to pay and she was herself in a worry of spirits which would have made her prefer being silent {para} Mr John Knightley proved more talkative than his brother He was to leave them early the next day and he soon began with {para} Well Emma I do not believe I have any thing more to say about the boys but you have your sister 's letter and every thing is down at full length there we may be sure My charge would be much more concise than her 's and probably not much in the same spirit all that I have to recommend being comprised in do not spoil them and do not physic them {para} I rather hope to satisfy you both said Emma for I shall do all in my power to make them happy which will be enough for Isabella and happiness must preclude false indulgence and physic {para} And if you find them troublesome you must send them home again {para} That is very likely You think so do not you {para} I hope I am aware that they may be too noisy for your father or even may be some encumbrance to you if your visiting engagements continue to increase as much as they have done lately {para} Increase {para} Certainly you must be sensible that the last half year has made a great difference in your way of life {para} Difference No indeed I am not {para} There can be no doubt of your being much more engaged with company than you used to be Witness this very time Here am I come down for only one day and you are engaged with a dinner party When did it happen before or any thing like it Your neighbourhood is increasing and you mix more with it A little while ago every letter to Isabella brought an account of fresh gaieties dinners at Mr Cole 's or balls at the Crown The difference which Randalls Randalls alone makes in your goings on is very great {para} Yes said his brother quickly it is Randalls that does it all {para} Very well and as Randalls I suppose is not likely to have less influence than heretofore it strikes me as a possible thing Emma that Henry and John may be sometimes in the way And if they are I only beg you to send them home {para} No cried Mr Knightley that need not be the consequence Let them be sent to Donwell I shall certainly be at leisure {para} Upon my word exclaimed Emma you amuse me I should like to know how many of all my numerous engagements take place without your being of the party and why I am to be supposed in danger of wanting leisure to attend to the little boys These amazing engagements of mine what have they been Dining once with the Coles and having a ball talked of which never took place I can understand you nodding at Mr John Knightley your good fortune in meeting with so many of your friends at once here delights you too much to pass unnoticed But you turning to Mr Knightley who know how very very seldom I am ever two hours from Hartfield why you should foresee such a series of dissipation for me I cannot imagine And as to my dear little boys I must say that if Aunt Emma has not time for them I do not think they would fare much better with Uncle Knightley who is absent from home about five hours where she is absent one and who when he is at home is either reading to himself or settling his accounts {para} Mr Knightley seemed to be trying not to smile and succeeded without difficulty upon Mrs Elton 's beginning to talk to him {para} VOLUME III {para} CHAPTER I {para} A very little quiet reflection was enough to satisfy Emma as to the nature of her agitation on hearing this news of Frank Churchill She was soon convinced that it was not for herself she was feeling at all apprehensive or embarrassed it was for him Her own attachment had really subsided into a mere nothing it was not worth thinking of but if he who had undoubtedly been always so much the most in love of the two were to be returning with the same warmth of sentiment which he had taken away it would be very distressing If a separation of two months should not have cooled him there were dangers and evils before her caution for him and for herself would be necessary She did not mean to have her own affections entangled again and it would be incumbent on her to avoid any encouragement of his {para} She wished she might be able to keep him from an absolute declaration That would be so very painful a conclusion of their present acquaintance and yet she could not help rather anticipating something decisive She felt as if the spring would not pass without bringing a crisis an event a something to alter her present composed and tranquil state {para} It was not very long though rather longer than Mr Weston had foreseen before she had the power of forming some opinion of Frank Churchill 's feelings The Enscombe family were not in town quite so soon as had been imagined but he was at Highbury very soon afterwards He rode down for a couple of hours he could not yet do more but as he came from Randalls immediately to Hartfield she could then exercise all her quick observation and speedily determine how he was influenced and how she must act They met with the utmost friendliness There could be no doubt of his great pleasure in seeing her But she had an almost instant doubt of his caring for her as he had done of his feeling the same tenderness in the same degree She watched him well It was a clear thing he was less in love than he had been Absence with the conviction probably of her indifference had produced this very natural and very desirable effect {para} He was in high spirits as ready to talk and laugh as ever and seemed delighted to speak of his former visit and recur to old stories and he was not without agitation It was not in his calmness that she read his comparative difference He was not calm his spirits were evidently fluttered there was restlessness about him Lively as he was it seemed a liveliness that did not satisfy himself but what decided her belief on the subject was his staying only a quarter of an hour and hurrying away to make other calls in Highbury He had seen a group of old acquaintance in the street as he passed he had not stopped he would not stop for more than a word but he had the vanity to think they would be disappointed if he did not call and much as he wished to stay longer at Hartfield he must hurry off She had no doubt as to his being less in love but neither his agitated spirits nor his hurrying away seemed like a perfect cure and she was rather inclined to think it implied a dread of her returning power and a discreet resolution of not trusting himself with her long {para} This was the only visit from Frank Churchill in the course of ten days He was often hoping intending to come but was always prevented His aunt could not bear to have him leave her Such was his own account at Randall 's If he were quite sincere if he really tried to come it was to be inferred that Mrs Churchill 's removal to London had been of no service to the wilful or nervous part of her disorder That she was really ill was very certain he had declared himself convinced of it at Randalls Though much might be fancy he could not doubt when he looked back that she was in a weaker state of health than she had been half a year ago He did not believe it to proceed from any thing that care and medicine might not remove or at least that she might not have many years of existence before her but he could not be prevailed on by all his father 's doubts to say that her complaints were merely imaginary or that she was as strong as ever {para} It soon appeared that London was not the place for her She could not endure its noise Her nerves were under continual irritation and suffering and by the ten days end her nephew 's letter to Randalls communicated a change of plan They were going to remove immediately to Richmond Mrs Churchill had been recommended to the medical skill of an eminent person there and had otherwise a fancy for the place A ready furnished house in a favourite spot was engaged and much benefit expected from the change {para} Emma heard that Frank wrote in the highest spirits of this arrangement and seemed most fully to appreciate the blessing of having two months before him of such near neighbourhood to many dear friends for the house was taken for May and June She was told that now he wrote with the greatest confidence of being often with them almost as often as he could even wish {para} Emma saw how Mr Weston understood these joyous prospects He was considering her as the source of all the happiness they offered She hoped it was not so Two months must bring it to the proof {para} Mr Weston 's own happiness was indisputable He was quite delighted It was the very circumstance he could have wished for Now it would be really having Frank in their neighbourhood What were nine miles to a young man An hour 's ride He would be always coming over The difference in that respect of Richmond and London was enough to make the whole difference of seeing him always and seeing him never Sixteen miles nay eighteen it must be full eighteen to Manchester street was a serious obstacle Were he ever able to get away the day would be spent in coming and returning There was no comfort in having him in London he might as well be at Enscombe but Richmond was the very distance for easy intercourse Better than nearer {para} One good thing was immediately brought to a certainty by this removal the ball at the Crown It had not been forgotten before but it had been soon acknowledged vain to attempt to fix a day Now however it was absolutely to be every preparation was resumed and very soon after the Churchills had removed to Richmond a few lines from Frank to say that his aunt felt already much better for the change and that he had no doubt of being able to join them for twenty four hours at any given time induced them to name as early a day as possible {para} Mr Weston 's ball was to be a real thing A very few to morrows stood between the young people of Highbury and happiness {para} Mr Woodhouse was resigned The time of year lightened the evil to him May was better for every thing than February Mrs Bates was engaged to spend the evening at Hartfield James had due notice and he sanguinely hoped that neither dear little Henry nor dear little John would have any thing the matter with them while dear Emma were gone {para} CHAPTER II {para} No misfortune occurred again to prevent the ball The day approached the day arrived and after a morning of some anxious watching Frank Churchill in all the certainty of his own self reached Randalls before dinner and every thing was safe {para} No second meeting had there yet been between him and Emma The room at the Crown was to witness it but it would be better than a common meeting in a crowd Mr Weston had been so very earnest in his entreaties for her arriving there as soon as possible after themselves for the purpose of taking her opinion as to the propriety and comfort of the rooms before any other persons came that she could not refuse him and must therefore spend some quiet interval in the young man 's company She was to convey Harriet and they drove to the Crown in good time the Randalls party just sufficiently before them {para} Frank Churchill seemed to have been on the watch and though he did not say much his eyes declared that he meant to have a delightful evening They all walked about together to see that every thing was as it should be and within a few minutes were joined by the contents of another carriage which Emma could not hear the sound of at first without great surprize So unreasonably early she was going to exclaim but she presently found that it was a family of old friends who were coming like herself by particular desire to help Mr Weston 's judgment and they were so very closely followed by another carriage of cousins who had been entreated to come early with the same distinguishing earnestness on the same errand that it seemed as if half the company might soon be collected together for the purpose of preparatory inspection {para} Emma perceived that her taste was not the only taste on which Mr Weston depended and felt that to be the favourite and intimate of a man who had so many intimates and confidantes was not the very first distinction in the scale of vanity She liked his open manners but a little less of open heartedness would have made him a higher character General benevolence but not general friendship made a man what he ought to be She could fancy such a man The whole party walked about and looked and praised again and then having nothing else to do formed a sort of half circle round the fire to observe in their various modes till other subjects were started that though May a fire in the evening was still very pleasant {para} Emma found that it was not Mr Weston 's fault that the number of privy councillors was not yet larger They had stopped at Mrs Bates 's door to offer the use of their carriage but the aunt and niece were to be brought by the Eltons {para} Frank was standing by her but not steadily there was a restlessness which shewed a mind not at ease He was looking about he was going to the door he was watching for the sound of other carriages impatient to begin or afraid of being always near her {para} Mrs Elton was spoken of I think she must be here soon said he I have a great curiosity to see Mrs Elton I have heard so much of her It cannot be long I think before she comes {para} A carriage was heard He was on the move immediately but coming back said {para} I am forgetting that I am not acquainted with her I have never seen either Mr or Mrs Elton I have no business to put myself forward {para} Mr and Mrs Elton appeared and all the smiles and the proprieties passed {para} But Miss Bates and Miss Fairfax said Mr Weston looking about We thought you were to bring them {para} The mistake had been slight The carriage was sent for them now Emma longed to know what Frank 's first opinion of Mrs Elton might be how he was affected by the studied elegance of her dress and her smiles of graciousness He was immediately qualifying himself to form an opinion by giving her very proper attention after the introduction had passed {para} In a few minutes the carriage returned Somebody talked of rain I will see that there are umbrellas sir said Frank to his father Miss Bates must not be forgotten and away he went Mr Weston was following but Mrs Elton detained him to gratify him by her opinion of his son and so briskly did she begin that the young man himself though by no means moving slowly could hardly be out of hearing {para} A very fine young man indeed Mr Weston You know I candidly told you I should form my own opinion and I am happy to say that I am extremely pleased with him You may believe me I never compliment I think him a very handsome young man and his manners are precisely what I like and approve so truly the gentleman without the least conceit or puppyism You must know I have a vast dislike to puppies quite a horror of them They were never tolerated at Maple Grove Neither Mr Suckling nor me had ever any patience with them and we used sometimes to say very cutting things Selina who is mild almost to a fault bore with them much better {para} While she talked of his son Mr Weston 's attention was chained but when she got to Maple Grove he could recollect that there were ladies just arriving to be attended to and with happy smiles must hurry away {para} Mrs Elton turned to Mrs Weston I have no doubt of its being our carriage with Miss Bates and Jane Our coachman and horses are so extremely expeditious I believe we drive faster than any body What a pleasure it is to send one 's carriage for a friend I understand you were so kind as to offer but another time it will be quite unnecessary You may be very sure I shall always take care of them {para} Miss Bates and Miss Fairfax escorted by the two gentlemen walked into the room and Mrs Elton seemed to think it as much her duty as Mrs Weston 's to receive them Her gestures and movements might be understood by any one who looked on like Emma but her words every body 's words were soon lost under the incessant flow of Miss Bates who came in talking and had not finished her speech under many minutes after her being admitted into the circle at the fire As the door opened she was heard {para} So very obliging of you No rain at all Nothing to signify I do not care for myself Quite thick shoes And Jane declares Well as soon as she was within the door Well This is brilliant indeed This is admirable Excellently contrived upon my word Nothing wanting Could not have imagined it So well lighted up Jane Jane look did you ever see any thing Oh Mr Weston you must really have had Aladdin 's lamp Good Mrs Stokes would not know her own room again I saw her as I came in she was standing in the entrance Oh Mrs Stokes said I but I had not time for more She was now met by Mrs Weston Very well I thank you ma'am I hope you are quite well Very happy to hear it So afraid you might have a headach seeing you pass by so often and knowing how much trouble you must have Delighted to hear it indeed Ah dear Mrs Elton so obliged to you for the carriage excellent time Jane and I quite ready Did not keep the horses a moment Most comfortable carriage Oh and I am sure our thanks are due to you Mrs Weston on that score Mrs Elton had most kindly sent Jane a note or we should have been But two such offers in one day Never were such neighbours I said to my mother Upon my word ma'am Thank you my mother is remarkably well Gone to Mr Woodhouse 's I made her take her shawl for the evenings are not warm her large new shawl Mrs Dixon 's wedding present So kind of her to think of my mother Bought at Weymouth you know Mr Dixon 's choice There were three others Jane says which they hesitated about some time Colonel Campbell rather preferred an olive My dear Jane are you sure you did not wet your feet It was but a drop or two but I am so afraid but Mr Frank Churchill was so extremely and there was a mat to step upon I shall never forget his extreme politeness Oh Mr Frank Churchill I must tell you my mother 's spectacles have never been in fault since the rivet never came out again My mother often talks of your good nature Does not she Jane Do not we often talk of Mr Frank Churchill Ah here 's Miss Woodhouse Dear Miss Woodhouse how do you do Very well I thank you quite well This is meeting quite in fairy land Such a transformation Must not compliment I know eyeing Emma most complacently that would be rude but upon my word Miss Woodhouse you do look how do you like Jane 's hair You are a judge She did it all herself Quite wonderful how she does her hair No hairdresser from London I think could Ah Dr Hughes I declare and Mrs Hughes Must go and speak to Dr and Mrs Hughes for a moment How do you do How do you do Very well I thank you This is delightful is not it Where 's dear Mr Richard Oh there he is Don't disturb him Much better employed talking to the young ladies How do you do Mr Richard I saw you the other day as you rode through the town Mrs Otway I protest and good Mr Otway and Miss Otway and Miss Caroline Such a host of friends and Mr George and Mr Arthur How do you do How do you all do Quite well I am much obliged to you Never better Don't I hear another carriage Who can this be very likely the worthy Coles Upon my word this is charming to be standing about among such friends And such a noble fire I am quite roasted No coffee I thank you for me never take coffee A little tea if you please sir by and bye no hurry Oh here it comes Every thing so good {para} Frank Churchill returned to his station by Emma and as soon as Miss Bates was quiet she found herself necessarily overhearing the discourse of Mrs Elton and Miss Fairfax who were standing a little way behind her He was thoughtful Whether he were overhearing too she could not determine After a good many compliments to Jane on her dress and look compliments very quietly and properly taken Mrs Elton was evidently wanting to be complimented herself and it was How do you like my gown How do you like my trimming How has Wright done my hair with many other relative questions all answered with patient politeness Mrs Elton then said Nobody can think less of dress in general than I do but upon such an occasion as this when every body 's eyes are so much upon me and in compliment to the Westons who I have no doubt are giving this ball chiefly to do me honour I would not wish to be inferior to others And I see very few pearls in the room except mine So Frank Churchill is a capital dancer I understand We shall see if our styles suit A fine young man certainly is Frank Churchill I like him very well {para} At this moment Frank began talking so vigorously that Emma could not but imagine he had overheard his own praises and did not want to hear more and the voices of the ladies were drowned for a while till another suspension brought Mrs Elton 's tones again distinctly forward Mr Elton had just joined them and his wife was exclaiming {para} Oh you have found us out at last have you in our seclusion I was this moment telling Jane I thought you would begin to be impatient for tidings of us {para} Jane repeated Frank Churchill with a look of surprize and displeasure That is easy but Miss Fairfax does not disapprove it I suppose {para} How do you like Mrs Elton said Emma in a whisper {para} Not at all {para} You are ungrateful {para} Ungrateful What do you mean Then changing from a frown to a smile No do not tell me I do not want to know what you mean Where is my father When are we to begin dancing {para} Emma could hardly understand him he seemed in an odd humour He walked off to find his father but was quickly back again with both Mr and Mrs Weston He had met with them in a little perplexity which must be laid before Emma It had just occurred to Mrs Weston that Mrs Elton must be asked to begin the ball that she would expect it which interfered with all their wishes of giving Emma that distinction Emma heard the sad truth with fortitude {para} And what are we to do for a proper partner for her said Mr Weston She will think Frank ought to ask her {para} Frank turned instantly to Emma to claim her former promise and boasted himself an engaged man which his father looked his most perfect approbation of and it then appeared that Mrs Weston was wanting him to dance with Mrs Elton himself and that their business was to help to persuade him into it which was done pretty soon Mr Weston and Mrs Elton led the way Mr Frank Churchill and Miss Woodhouse followed Emma must submit to stand second to Mrs Elton though she had always considered the ball as peculiarly for her It was almost enough to make her think of marrying Mrs Elton had undoubtedly the advantage at this time in vanity completely gratified for though she had intended to begin with Frank Churchill she could not lose by the change Mr Weston might be his son 's superior In spite of this little rub however Emma was smiling with enjoyment delighted to see the respectable length of the set as it was forming and to feel that she had so many hours of unusual festivity before her She was more disturbed by Mr Knightley 's not dancing than by any thing else There he was among the standers by where he ought not to be he ought to be dancing not classing himself with the husbands and fathers and whist players who were pretending to feel an interest in the dance till their rubbers were made up so young as he looked He could not have appeared to greater advantage perhaps anywhere than where he had placed himself His tall firm upright figure among the bulky forms and stooping shoulders of the elderly men was such as Emma felt must draw every body 's eyes and excepting her own partner there was not one among the whole row of young men who could be compared with him He moved a few steps nearer and those few steps were enough to prove in how gentlemanlike a manner with what natural grace he must have danced would he but take the trouble Whenever she caught his eye she forced him to smile but in general he was looking grave She wished he could love a ballroom better and could like Frank Churchill better He seemed often observing her She must not flatter herself that he thought of her dancing but if he were criticising her behaviour she did not feel afraid There was nothing like flirtation between her and her partner They seemed more like cheerful easy friends than lovers That Frank Churchill thought less of her than he had done was indubitable {para} The ball proceeded pleasantly The anxious cares the incessant attentions of Mrs Weston were not thrown away Every body seemed happy and the praise of being a delightful ball which is seldom bestowed till after a ball has ceased to be was repeatedly given in the very beginning of the existence of this Of very important very recordable events it was not more productive than such meetings usually are There was one however which Emma thought something of The two last dances before supper were begun and Harriet had no partner the only young lady sitting down and so equal had been hitherto the number of dancers that how there could be any one disengaged was the wonder But Emma 's wonder lessened soon afterwards on seeing Mr Elton sauntering about He would not ask Harriet to dance if it were possible to be avoided she was sure he would not and she was expecting him every moment to escape into the card room {para} Escape however was not his plan He came to the part of the room where the sitters by were collected spoke to some and walked about in front of them as if to shew his liberty and his resolution of maintaining it He did not omit being sometimes directly before Miss Smith or speaking to those who were close to her Emma saw it She was not yet dancing she was working her way up from the bottom and had therefore leisure to look around and by only turning her head a little she saw it all When she was half way up the set the whole group were exactly behind her and she would no longer allow her eyes to watch but Mr Elton was so near that she heard every syllable of a dialogue which just then took place between him and Mrs Weston and she perceived that his wife who was standing immediately above her was not only listening also but even encouraging him by significant glances The kind hearted gentle Mrs Weston had left her seat to join him and say Do not you dance Mr Elton to which his prompt reply was Most readily Mrs Weston if you will dance with me {para} Me oh no I would get you a better partner than myself I am no dancer {para} If Mrs Gilbert wishes to dance said he I shall have great pleasure I am sure for though beginning to feel myself rather an old married man and that my dancing days are over it would give me very great pleasure at any time to stand up with an old friend like Mrs Gilbert {para} Mrs Gilbert does not mean to dance but there is a young lady disengaged whom I should be very glad to see dancing Miss Smith Miss Smith oh I had not observed You are extremely obliging and if I were not an old married man But my dancing days are over Mrs Weston You will excuse me Any thing else I should be most happy to do at your command but my dancing days are over {para} Mrs Weston said no more and Emma could imagine with what surprize and mortification she must be returning to her seat This was Mr Elton the amiable obliging gentle Mr Elton She looked round for a moment he had joined Mr Knightley at a little distance and was arranging himself for settled conversation while smiles of high glee passed between him and his wife {para} She would not look again Her heart was in a glow and she feared her face might be as hot {para} In another moment a happier sight caught her Mr Knightley leading Harriet to the set Never had she been more surprized seldom more delighted than at that instant She was all pleasure and gratitude both for Harriet and herself and longed to be thanking him and though too distant for speech her countenance said much as soon as she could catch his eye again {para} His dancing proved to be just what she had believed it extremely good and Harriet would have seemed almost too lucky if it had not been for the cruel state of things before and for the very complete enjoyment and very high sense of the distinction which her happy features announced It was not thrown away on her she bounded higher than ever flew farther down the middle and was in a continual course of smiles {para} Mr Elton had retreated into the card room looking Emma trusted very foolish She did not think he was quite so hardened as his wife though growing very like her she spoke some of her feelings by observing audibly to her partner {para} Knightley has taken pity on poor little Miss Smith Very goodnatured I declare {para} Supper was announced The move began and Miss Bates might be heard from that moment without interruption till her being seated at table and taking up her spoon {para} Jane Jane my dear Jane where are you Here is your tippet Mrs Weston begs you to put on your tippet She says she is afraid there will be draughts in the passage though every thing has been done One door nailed up Quantities of matting My dear Jane indeed you must Mr Churchill oh you are too obliging How well you put it on so gratified Excellent dancing indeed Yes my dear I ran home as I said I should to help grandmama to bed and got back again and nobody missed me I set off without saying a word just as I told you Grandmama was quite well had a charming evening with Mr Woodhouse a vast deal of chat and backgammon Tea was made downstairs biscuits and baked apples and wine before she came away amazing luck in some of her throws and she inquired a great deal about you how you were amused and who were your partners Oh said I I shall not forestall Jane I left her dancing with Mr George Otway she will love to tell you all about it herself to morrow her first partner was Mr Elton I do not know who will ask her next perhaps Mr William Cox My dear sir you are too obliging Is there nobody you would not rather I am not helpless Sir you are most kind Upon my word Jane on one arm and me on the other Stop stop let us stand a little back Mrs Elton is going dear Mrs Elton how elegant she looks Beautiful lace Now we all follow in her train Quite the queen of the evening Well here we are at the passage Two steps Jane take care of the two steps Oh no there is but one Well I was persuaded there were two How very odd I was convinced there were two and there is but one I never saw any thing equal to the comfort and style Candles everywhere I was telling you of your grandmama Jane There was a little disappointment The baked apples and biscuits excellent in their way you know but there was a delicate fricassee of sweetbread and some asparagus brought in at first and good Mr Woodhouse not thinking the asparagus quite boiled enough sent it all out again Now there is nothing grandmama loves better than sweetbread and asparagus so she was rather disappointed but we agreed we would not speak of it to any body for fear of its getting round to dear Miss Woodhouse who would be so very much concerned Well this is brilliant I am all amazement could not have supposed any thing Such elegance and profusion I have seen nothing like it since Well where shall we sit where shall we sit Anywhere so that Jane is not in a draught Where I sit is of no consequence Oh do you recommend this side Well I am sure Mr Churchill only it seems too good but just as you please What you direct in this house cannot be wrong Dear Jane how shall we ever recollect half the dishes for grandmama Soup too Bless me I should not be helped so soon but it smells most excellent and I cannot help beginning {para} Emma had no opportunity of speaking to Mr Knightley till after supper but when they were all in the ballroom again her eyes invited him irresistibly to come to her and be thanked He was warm in his reprobation of Mr Elton 's conduct it had been unpardonable rudeness and Mrs Elton 's looks also received the due share of censure {para} They aimed at wounding more than Harriet said he Emma why is it that they are your enemies {para} He looked with smiling penetration and on receiving no answer added She ought not to be angry with you I suspect whatever he may be To that surmise you say nothing of course but confess Emma that you did want him to marry Harriet {para} I did replied Emma and they cannot forgive me {para} He shook his head but there was a smile of indulgence with it and he only said {para} I shall not scold you I leave you to your own reflections {para} Can you trust me with such flatterers Does my vain spirit ever tell me I am wrong {para} Not your vain spirit but your serious spirit If one leads you wrong I am sure the other tells you of it {para} I do own myself to have been completely mistaken in Mr Elton There is a littleness about him which you discovered and which I did not and I was fully convinced of his being in love with Harriet It was through a series of strange blunders {para} And in return for your acknowledging so much I will do you the justice to say that you would have chosen for him better than he has chosen for himself Harriet Smith has some first rate qualities which Mrs Elton is totally without An unpretending single minded artless girl infinitely to be preferred by any man of sense and taste to such a woman as Mrs Elton I found Harriet more conversable than I expected {para} Emma was extremely gratified They were interrupted by the bustle of Mr Weston calling on every body to begin dancing again {para} Come Miss Woodhouse Miss Otway Miss Fairfax what are you all doing Come Emma set your companions the example Every body is lazy Every body is asleep {para} I am ready said Emma whenever I am wanted {para} Whom are you going to dance with asked Mr Knightley {para} She hesitated a moment and then replied With you if you will ask me {para} Will you said he offering his hand {para} Indeed I will You have shewn that you can dance and you know we are not really so much brother and sister as to make it at all improper {para} Brother and sister no indeed {para} CHAPTER III {para} This little explanation with Mr Knightley gave Emma considerable pleasure It was one of the agreeable recollections of the ball which she walked about the lawn the next morning to enjoy She was extremely glad that they had come to so good an understanding respecting the Eltons and that their opinions of both husband and wife were so much alike and his praise of Harriet his concession in her favour was peculiarly gratifying The impertinence of the Eltons which for a few minutes had threatened to ruin the rest of her evening had been the occasion of some of its highest satisfactions and she looked forward to another happy result the cure of Harriet 's infatuation From Harriet 's manner of speaking of the circumstance before they quitted the ballroom she had strong hopes It seemed as if her eyes were suddenly opened and she were enabled to see that Mr Elton was not the superior creature she had believed him The fever was over and Emma could harbour little fear of the pulse being quickened again by injurious courtesy She depended on the evil feelings of the Eltons for supplying all the discipline of pointed neglect that could be farther requisite Harriet rational Frank Churchill not too much in love and Mr Knightley not wanting to quarrel with her how very happy a summer must be before her {para} She was not to see Frank Churchill this morning He had told her that he could not allow himself the pleasure of stopping at Hartfield as he was to be at home by the middle of the day She did not regret it {para} Having arranged all these matters looked them through and put them all to rights she was just turning to the house with spirits freshened up for the demands of the two little boys as well as of their grandpapa when the great iron sweep gate opened and two persons entered whom she had never less expected to see together Frank Churchill with Harriet leaning on his arm actually Harriet A moment sufficed to convince her that something extraordinary had happened Harriet looked white and frightened and he was trying to cheer her The iron gates and the front door were not twenty yards asunder they were all three soon in the hall and Harriet immediately sinking into a chair fainted away {para} A young lady who faints must be recovered questions must be answered and surprizes be explained Such events are very interesting but the suspense of them cannot last long A few minutes made Emma acquainted with the whole {para} Miss Smith and Miss Bickerton another parlour boarder at Mrs Goddard 's who had been also at the ball had walked out together and taken a road the Richmond road which though apparently public enough for safety had led them into alarm About half a mile beyond Highbury making a sudden turn and deeply shaded by elms on each side it became for a considerable stretch very retired and when the young ladies had advanced some way into it they had suddenly perceived at a small distance before them on a broader patch of greensward by the side a party of gipsies A child on the watch came towards them to beg and Miss Bickerton excessively frightened gave a great scream and calling on Harriet to follow her ran up a steep bank cleared a slight hedge at the top and made the best of her way by a short cut back to Highbury But poor Harriet could not follow She had suffered very much from cramp after dancing and her first attempt to mount the bank brought on such a return of it as made her absolutely powerless and in this state and exceedingly terrified she had been obliged to remain {para} How the trampers might have behaved had the young ladies been more courageous must be doubtful but such an invitation for attack could not be resisted and Harriet was soon assailed by half a dozen children headed by a stout woman and a great boy all clamorous and impertinent in look though not absolutely in word More and more frightened she immediately promised them money and taking out her purse gave them a shilling and begged them not to want more or to use her ill She was then able to walk though but slowly and was moving away but her terror and her purse were too tempting and she was followed or rather surrounded by the whole gang demanding more {para} In this state Frank Churchill had found her she trembling and conditioning they loud and insolent By a most fortunate chance his leaving Highbury had been delayed so as to bring him to her assistance at this critical moment The pleasantness of the morning had induced him to walk forward and leave his horses to meet him by another road a mile or two beyond Highbury and happening to have borrowed a pair of scissors the night before of Miss Bates and to have forgotten to restore them he had been obliged to stop at her door and go in for a few minutes he was therefore later than he had intended and being on foot was unseen by the whole party till almost close to them The terror which the woman and boy had been creating in Harriet was then their own portion He had left them completely frightened and Harriet eagerly clinging to him and hardly able to speak had just strength enough to reach Hartfield before her spirits were quite overcome It was his idea to bring her to Hartfield he had thought of no other place {para} This was the amount of the whole story of his communication and of Harriet 's as soon as she had recovered her senses and speech He dared not stay longer than to see her well these several delays left him not another minute to lose and Emma engaging to give assurance of her safety to Mrs Goddard and notice of there being such a set of people in the neighbourhood to Mr Knightley he set off with all the grateful blessings that she could utter for her friend and herself {para} Such an adventure as this a fine young man and a lovely young woman thrown together in such a way could hardly fail of suggesting certain ideas to the coldest heart and the steadiest brain So Emma thought at least Could a linguist could a grammarian could even a mathematician have seen what she did have witnessed their appearance together and heard their history of it without feeling that circumstances had been at work to make them peculiarly interesting to each other How much more must an imaginist like herself be on fire with speculation and foresight especially with such a groundwork of anticipation as her mind had already made {para} It was a very extraordinary thing Nothing of the sort had ever occurred before to any young ladies in the place within her memory no rencontre no alarm of the kind and now it had happened to the very person and at the very hour when the other very person was chancing to pass by to rescue her It certainly was very extraordinary And knowing as she did the favourable state of mind of each at this period it struck her the more He was wishing to get the better of his attachment to herself she just recovering from her mania for Mr Elton It seemed as if every thing united to promise the most interesting consequences It was not possible that the occurrence should not be strongly recommending each to the other {para} In the few minutes conversation which she had yet had with him while Harriet had been partially insensible he had spoken of her terror her naivete her fervour as she seized and clung to his arm with a sensibility amused and delighted and just at last after Harriet 's own account had been given he had expressed his indignation at the abominable folly of Miss Bickerton in the warmest terms Every thing was to take its natural course however neither impelled nor assisted She would not stir a step nor drop a hint No she had had enough of interference There could be no harm in a scheme a mere passive scheme It was no more than a wish Beyond it she would on no account proceed {para} Emma 's first resolution was to keep her father from the knowledge of what had passed aware of the anxiety and alarm it would occasion but she soon felt that concealment must be impossible Within half an hour it was known all over Highbury It was the very event to engage those who talk most the young and the low and all the youth and servants in the place were soon in the happiness of frightful news The last night 's ball seemed lost in the gipsies Poor Mr Woodhouse trembled as he sat and as Emma had foreseen would scarcely be satisfied without their promising never to go beyond the shrubbery again It was some comfort to him that many inquiries after himself and Miss Woodhouse for his neighbours knew that he loved to be inquired after as well as Miss Smith were coming in during the rest of the day and he had the pleasure of returning for answer that they were all very indifferent which though not exactly true for she was perfectly well and Harriet not much otherwise Emma would not interfere with She had an unhappy state of health in general for the child of such a man for she hardly knew what indisposition was and if he did not invent illnesses for her she could make no figure in a message {para} The gipsies did not wait for the operations of justice they took themselves off in a hurry The young ladies of Highbury might have walked again in safety before their panic began and the whole history dwindled soon into a matter of little importance but to Emma and her nephews in her imagination it maintained its ground and Henry and John were still asking every day for the story of Harriet and the gipsies and still tenaciously setting her right if she varied in the slightest particular from the original recital {para} CHAPTER IV {para} A very few days had passed after this adventure when Harriet came one morning to Emma with a small parcel in her hand and after sitting down and hesitating thus began {para} Miss Woodhouse if you are at leisure I have something that I should like to tell you a sort of confession to make and then you know it will be over {para} Emma was a good deal surprized but begged her to speak There was a seriousness in Harriet 's manner which prepared her quite as much as her words for something more than ordinary {para} It is my duty and I am sure it is my wish she continued to have no reserves with you on this subject As I am happily quite an altered creature in one respect it is very fit that you should have the satisfaction of knowing it I do not want to say more than is necessary I am too much ashamed of having given way as I have done and I dare say you understand me {para} Yes said Emma I hope I do {para} How I could so long a time be fancying myself cried Harriet warmly It seems like madness I can see nothing at all extraordinary in him now I do not care whether I meet him or not except that of the two I had rather not see him and indeed I would go any distance round to avoid him but I do not envy his wife in the least I neither admire her nor envy her as I have done she is very charming I dare say and all that but I think her very ill tempered and disagreeable I shall never forget her look the other night However I assure you Miss Woodhouse I wish her no evil No let them be ever so happy together it will not give me another moment 's pang and to convince you that I have been speaking truth I am now going to destroy what I ought to have destroyed long ago what I ought never to have kept I know that very well blushing as she spoke However now I will destroy it all and it is my particular wish to do it in your presence that you may see how rational I am grown Cannot you guess what this parcel holds said she with a conscious look {para} Not the least in the world Did he ever give you any thing {para} No I cannot call them gifts but they are things that I have valued very much {para} She held the parcel towards her and Emma read the words Most precious treasures on the top Her curiosity was greatly excited Harriet unfolded the parcel and she looked on with impatience Within abundance of silver paper was a pretty little Tunbridge ware box which Harriet opened it was well lined with the softest cotton but excepting the cotton Emma saw only a small piece of court plaister {para} Now said Harriet you must recollect {para} No indeed I do not {para} Dear me I should not have thought it possible you could forget what passed in this very room about court plaister one of the very last times we ever met in it It was but a very few days before I had my sore throat just before Mr and Mrs John Knightley came I think the very evening Do not you remember his cutting his finger with your new penknife and your recommending court plaister But as you had none about you and knew I had you desired me to supply him and so I took mine out and cut him a piece but it was a great deal too large and he cut it smaller and kept playing some time with what was left before he gave it back to me And so then in my nonsense I could not help making a treasure of it so I put it by never to be used and looked at it now and then as a great treat {para} My dearest Harriet cried Emma putting her hand before her face and jumping up you make me more ashamed of myself than I can bear Remember it Aye I remember it all now all except your saving this relic I knew nothing of that till this moment but the cutting the finger and my recommending court plaister and saying I had none about me Oh my sins my sins And I had plenty all the while in my pocket One of my senseless tricks I deserve to be under a continual blush all the rest of my life Well sitting down again go on what else {para} And had you really some at hand yourself I am sure I never suspected it you did it so naturally {para} And so you actually put this piece of court plaister by for his sake said Emma recovering from her state of shame and feeling divided between wonder and amusement And secretly she added to herself Lord bless me when should I ever have thought of putting by in cotton a piece of court plaister that Frank Churchill had been pulling about I never was equal to this {para} Here resumed Harriet turning to her box again here is something still more valuable I mean that has been more valuable because this is what did really once belong to him which the court plaister never did {para} Emma was quite eager to see this superior treasure It was the end of an old pencil the part without any lead {para} This was really his said Harriet Do not you remember one morning no I dare say you do not But one morning I forget exactly the day but perhaps it was the Tuesday or Wednesday before that evening he wanted to make a memorandum in his pocket book it was about spruce beer Mr Knightley had been telling him something about brewing spruce beer and he wanted to put it down but when he took out his pencil there was so little lead that he soon cut it all away and it would not do so you lent him another and this was left upon the table as good for nothing But I kept my eye on it and as soon as I dared caught it up and never parted with it again from that moment {para} I do remember it cried Emma I perfectly remember it Talking about spruce beer Oh yes Mr Knightley and I both saying we liked it and Mr Elton 's seeming resolved to learn to like it too I perfectly remember it Stop Mr Knightley was standing just here was not he I have an idea he was standing just here {para} Ah I do not know I cannot recollect It is very odd but I cannot recollect Mr Elton was sitting here I remember much about where I am now {para} Well go on {para} Oh that 's all I have nothing more to shew you or to say except that I am now going to throw them both behind the fire and I wish you to see me do it {para} My poor dear Harriet and have you actually found happiness in treasuring up these things {para} Yes simpleton as I was but I am quite ashamed of it now and wish I could forget as easily as I can burn them It was very wrong of me you know to keep any remembrances after he was married I knew it was but had not resolution enough to part with them {para} But Harriet is it necessary to burn the court plaister I have not a word to say for the bit of old pencil but the court plaister might be useful {para} I shall be happier to burn it replied Harriet It has a disagreeable look to me I must get rid of every thing There it goes and there is an end thank Heaven of Mr Elton {para} And when thought Emma will there be a beginning of Mr Churchill {para} She had soon afterwards reason to believe that the beginning was already made and could not but hope that the gipsy though she had told no fortune might be proved to have made Harriet 's About a fortnight after the alarm they came to a sufficient explanation and quite undesignedly Emma was not thinking of it at the moment which made the information she received more valuable She merely said in the course of some trivial chat Well Harriet whenever you marry I would advise you to do so and so and thought no more of it till after a minute 's silence she heard Harriet say in a very serious tone I shall never marry {para} Emma then looked up and immediately saw how it was and after a moment 's debate as to whether it should pass unnoticed or not replied {para} Never marry This is a new resolution {para} It is one that I shall never change however {para} After another short hesitation I hope it does not proceed from I hope it is not in compliment to Mr Elton {para} Mr Elton indeed cried Harriet indignantly Oh no and Emma could just catch the words so superior to Mr Elton {para} She then took a longer time for consideration Should she proceed no farther should she let it pass and seem to suspect nothing Perhaps Harriet might think her cold or angry if she did or perhaps if she were totally silent it might only drive Harriet into asking her to hear too much and against any thing like such an unreserve as had been such an open and frequent discussion of hopes and chances she was perfectly resolved She believed it would be wiser for her to say and know at once all that she meant to say and know Plain dealing was always best She had previously determined how far she would proceed on any application of the sort and it would be safer for both to have the judicious law of her own brain laid down with speed She was decided and thus spoke {para} Harriet I will not affect to be in doubt of your meaning Your resolution or rather your expectation of never marrying results from an idea that the person whom you might prefer would be too greatly your superior in situation to think of you Is not it so {para} Oh Miss Woodhouse believe me I have not the presumption to suppose Indeed I am not so mad But it is a pleasure to me to admire him at a distance and to think of his infinite superiority to all the rest of the world with the gratitude wonder and veneration which are so proper in me especially {para} I am not at all surprized at you Harriet The service he rendered you was enough to warm your heart {para} Service oh it was such an inexpressible obligation The very recollection of it and all that I felt at the time when I saw him coming his noble look and my wretchedness before Such a change In one moment such a change From perfect misery to perfect happiness {para} It is very natural It is natural and it is honourable Yes honourable I think to chuse so well and so gratefully But that it will be a fortunate preference is more that I can promise I do not advise you to give way to it Harriet I do not by any means engage for its being returned Consider what you are about Perhaps it will be wisest in you to check your feelings while you can at any rate do not let them carry you far unless you are persuaded of his liking you Be observant of him Let his behaviour be the guide of your sensations I give you this caution now because I shall never speak to you again on the subject I am determined against all interference Henceforward I know nothing of the matter Let no name ever pass our lips We were very wrong before we will be cautious now He is your superior no doubt and there do seem objections and obstacles of a very serious nature but yet Harriet more wonderful things have taken place there have been matches of greater disparity But take care of yourself I would not have you too sanguine though however it may end be assured your raising your thoughts to him is a mark of good taste which I shall always know how to value {para} Harriet kissed her hand in silent and submissive gratitude Emma was very decided in thinking such an attachment no bad thing for her friend Its tendency would be to raise and refine her mind and it must be saving her from the danger of degradation {para} CHAPTER V {para} In this state of schemes and hopes and connivance June opened upon Hartfield To Highbury in general it brought no material change The Eltons were still talking of a visit from the Sucklings and of the use to be made of their barouche landau and Jane Fairfax was still at her grandmother 's and as the return of the Campbells from Ireland was again delayed and August instead of Midsummer fixed for it she was likely to remain there full two months longer provided at least she were able to defeat Mrs Elton 's activity in her service and save herself from being hurried into a delightful situation against her will {para} Mr Knightley who for some reason best known to himself had certainly taken an early dislike to Frank Churchill was only growing to dislike him more He began to suspect him of some double dealing in his pursuit of Emma That Emma was his object appeared indisputable Every thing declared it his own attentions his father 's hints his mother in law 's guarded silence it was all in unison words conduct discretion and indiscretion told the same story But while so many were devoting him to Emma and Emma herself making him over to Harriet Mr Knightley began to suspect him of some inclination to trifle with Jane Fairfax He could not understand it but there were symptoms of intelligence between them he thought so at least symptoms of admiration on his side which having once observed he could not persuade himself to think entirely void of meaning however he might wish to escape any of Emma 's errors of imagination She was not present when the suspicion first arose He was dining with the Randalls family and Jane at the Eltons and he had seen a look more than a single look at Miss Fairfax which from the admirer of Miss Woodhouse seemed somewhat out of place When he was again in their company he could not help remembering what he had seen nor could he avoid observations which unless it were like Cowper and his fire at twilight {para} Myself creating what I saw {para} brought him yet stronger suspicion of there being a something of private liking of private understanding even between Frank Churchill and Jane {para} He had walked up one day after dinner as he very often did to spend his evening at Hartfield Emma and Harriet were going to walk he joined them and on returning they fell in with a larger party who like themselves judged it wisest to take their exercise early as the weather threatened rain Mr and Mrs Weston and their son Miss Bates and her niece who had accidentally met They all united and on reaching Hartfield gates Emma who knew it was exactly the sort of visiting that would be welcome to her father pressed them all to go in and drink tea with him The Randalls party agreed to it immediately and after a pretty long speech from Miss Bates which few persons listened to she also found it possible to accept dear Miss Woodhouse 's most obliging invitation {para} As they were turning into the grounds Mr Perry passed by on horseback The gentlemen spoke of his horse {para} By the bye said Frank Churchill to Mrs Weston presently what became of Mr Perry 's plan of setting up his carriage {para} Mrs Weston looked surprized and said I did not know that he ever had any such plan {para} Nay I had it from you You wrote me word of it three months ago {para} Me impossible {para} Indeed you did I remember it perfectly You mentioned it as what was certainly to be very soon Mrs Perry had told somebody and was extremely happy about it It was owing to her persuasion as she thought his being out in bad weather did him a great deal of harm You must remember it now {para} Upon my word I never heard of it till this moment {para} Never really never Bless me how could it be Then I must have dreamt it but I was completely persuaded Miss Smith you walk as if you were tired You will not be sorry to find yourself at home {para} What is this What is this cried Mr Weston about Perry and a carriage Is Perry going to set up his carriage Frank I am glad he can afford it You had it from himself had you {para} No sir replied his son laughing I seem to have had it from nobody Very odd I really was persuaded of Mrs Weston 's having mentioned it in one of her letters to Enscombe many weeks ago with all these particulars but as she declares she never heard a syllable of it before of course it must have been a dream I am a great dreamer I dream of every body at Highbury when I am away and when I have gone through my particular friends then I begin dreaming of Mr and Mrs Perry {para} It is odd though observed his father that you should have had such a regular connected dream about people whom it was not very likely you should be thinking of at Enscombe Perry 's setting up his carriage and his wife 's persuading him to it out of care for his health just what will happen I have no doubt some time or other only a little premature What an air of probability sometimes runs through a dream And at others what a heap of absurdities it is Well Frank your dream certainly shews that Highbury is in your thoughts when you are absent Emma you are a great dreamer I think {para} Emma was out of hearing She had hurried on before her guests to prepare her father for their appearance and was beyond the reach of Mr Weston 's hint {para} Why to own the truth cried Miss Bates who had been trying in vain to be heard the last two minutes if I must speak on this subject there is no denying that Mr Frank Churchill might have I do not mean to say that he did not dream it I am sure I have sometimes the oddest dreams in the world but if I am questioned about it I must acknowledge that there was such an idea last spring for Mrs Perry herself mentioned it to my mother and the Coles knew of it as well as ourselves but it was quite a secret known to nobody else and only thought of about three days Mrs Perry was very anxious that he should have a carriage and came to my mother in great spirits one morning because she thought she had prevailed Jane don't you remember grandmama 's telling us of it when we got home I forget where we had been walking to very likely to Randalls yes I think it was to Randalls Mrs Perry was always particularly fond of my mother indeed I do not know who is not and she had mentioned it to her in confidence she had no objection to her telling us of course but it was not to go beyond and from that day to this I never mentioned it to a soul that I know of At the same time I will not positively answer for my having never dropt a hint because I know I do sometimes pop out a thing before I am aware I am a talker you know I am rather a talker and now and then I have let a thing escape me which I should not I am not like Jane I wish I were I will answer for it she never betrayed the least thing in the world Where is she Oh just behind Perfectly remember Mrs Perry 's coming Extraordinary dream indeed {para} They were entering the hall Mr Knightley 's eyes had preceded Miss Bates 's in a glance at Jane From Frank Churchill 's face where he thought he saw confusion suppressed or laughed away he had involuntarily turned to hers but she was indeed behind and too busy with her shawl Mr Weston had walked in The two other gentlemen waited at the door to let her pass Mr Knightley suspected in Frank Churchill the determination of catching her eye he seemed watching her intently in vain however if it were so Jane passed between them into the hall and looked at neither {para} There was no time for farther remark or explanation The dream must be borne with and Mr Knightley must take his seat with the rest round the large modern circular table which Emma had introduced at Hartfield and which none but Emma could have had power to place there and persuade her father to use instead of the small sized Pembroke on which two of his daily meals had for forty years been crowded Tea passed pleasantly and nobody seemed in a hurry to move {para} Miss Woodhouse said Frank Churchill after examining a table behind him which he could reach as he sat have your nephews taken away their alphabets their box of letters It used to stand here Where is it This is a sort of dull looking evening that ought to be treated rather as winter than summer We had great amusement with those letters one morning I want to puzzle you again {para} Emma was pleased with the thought and producing the box the table was quickly scattered over with alphabets which no one seemed so much disposed to employ as their two selves They were rapidly forming words for each other or for any body else who would be puzzled The quietness of the game made it particularly eligible for Mr Woodhouse who had often been distressed by the more animated sort which Mr Weston had occasionally introduced and who now sat happily occupied in lamenting with tender melancholy over the departure of the poor little boys or in fondly pointing out as he took up any stray letter near him how beautifully Emma had written it {para} Frank Churchill placed a word before Miss Fairfax She gave a slight glance round the table and applied herself to it Frank was next to Emma Jane opposite to them and Mr Knightley so placed as to see them all and it was his object to see as much as he could with as little apparent observation The word was discovered and with a faint smile pushed away If meant to be immediately mixed with the others and buried from sight she should have looked on the table instead of looking just across for it was not mixed and Harriet eager after every fresh word and finding out none directly took it up and fell to work She was sitting by Mr Knightley and turned to him for help The word was blunder and as Harriet exultingly proclaimed it there was a blush on Jane 's cheek which gave it a meaning not otherwise ostensible Mr Knightley connected it with the dream but how it could all be was beyond his comprehension How the delicacy the discretion of his favourite could have been so lain asleep He feared there must be some decided involvement Disingenuousness and double dealing seemed to meet him at every turn These letters were but the vehicle for gallantry and trick It was a child 's play chosen to conceal a deeper game on Frank Churchill 's part {para} With great indignation did he continue to observe him with great alarm and distrust to observe also his two blinded companions He saw a short word prepared for Emma and given to her with a look sly and demure He saw that Emma had soon made it out and found it highly entertaining though it was something which she judged it proper to appear to censure for she said Nonsense for shame He heard Frank Churchill next say with a glance towards Jane I will give it to her shall I and as clearly heard Emma opposing it with eager laughing warmth No no you must not you shall not indeed {para} It was done however This gallant young man who seemed to love without feeling and to recommend himself without complaisance directly handed over the word to Miss Fairfax and with a particular degree of sedate civility entreated her to study it Mr Knightley 's excessive curiosity to know what this word might be made him seize every possible moment for darting his eye towards it and it was not long before he saw it to be Dixon Jane Fairfax 's perception seemed to accompany his her comprehension was certainly more equal to the covert meaning the superior intelligence of those five letters so arranged She was evidently displeased looked up and seeing herself watched blushed more deeply than he had ever perceived her and saying only I did not know that proper names were allowed pushed away the letters with even an angry spirit and looked resolved to be engaged by no other word that could be offered Her face was averted from those who had made the attack and turned towards her aunt {para} Aye very true my dear cried the latter though Jane had not spoken a word I was just going to say the same thing It is time for us to be going indeed The evening is closing in and grandmama will be looking for us My dear sir you are too obliging We really must wish you good night {para} Jane 's alertness in moving proved her as ready as her aunt had preconceived She was immediately up and wanting to quit the table but so many were also moving that she could not get away and Mr Knightley thought he saw another collection of letters anxiously pushed towards her and resolutely swept away by her unexamined She was afterwards looking for her shawl Frank Churchill was looking also it was growing dusk and the room was in confusion and how they parted Mr Knightley could not tell {para} He remained at Hartfield after all the rest his thoughts full of what he had seen so full that when the candles came to assist his observations he must yes he certainly must as a friend an anxious friend give Emma some hint ask her some question He could not see her in a situation of such danger without trying to preserve her It was his duty {para} Pray Emma said he may I ask in what lay the great amusement the poignant sting of the last word given to you and Miss Fairfax I saw the word and am curious to know how it could be so very entertaining to the one and so very distressing to the other {para} Emma was extremely confused She could not endure to give him the true explanation for though her suspicions were by no means removed she was really ashamed of having ever imparted them {para} Oh she cried in evident embarrassment it all meant nothing a mere joke among ourselves {para} The joke he replied gravely seemed confined to you and Mr Churchill {para} He had hoped she would speak again but she did not She would rather busy herself about any thing than speak He sat a little while in doubt A variety of evils crossed his mind Interference fruitless interference Emma 's confusion and the acknowledged intimacy seemed to declare her affection engaged Yet he would speak He owed it to her to risk any thing that might be involved in an unwelcome interference rather than her welfare to encounter any thing rather than the remembrance of neglect in such a cause {para} My dear Emma said he at last with earnest kindness do you think you perfectly understand the degree of acquaintance between the gentleman and lady we have been speaking of {para} Between Mr Frank Churchill and Miss Fairfax Oh yes perfectly Why do you make a doubt of it {para} Have you never at any time had reason to think that he admired her or that she admired him {para} Never never she cried with a most open eagerness Never for the twentieth part of a moment did such an idea occur to me And how could it possibly come into your head {para} I have lately imagined that I saw symptoms of attachment between them certain expressive looks which I did not believe meant to be public {para} Oh you amuse me excessively I am delighted to find that you can vouchsafe to let your imagination wander but it will not do very sorry to check you in your first essay but indeed it will not do There is no admiration between them I do assure you and the appearances which have caught you have arisen from some peculiar circumstances feelings rather of a totally different nature it is impossible exactly to explain there is a good deal of nonsense in it but the part which is capable of being communicated which is sense is that they are as far from any attachment or admiration for one another as any two beings in the world can be That is I presume it to be so on her side and I can answer for its being so on his I will answer for the gentleman 's indifference {para} She spoke with a confidence which staggered with a satisfaction which silenced Mr Knightley She was in gay spirits and would have prolonged the conversation wanting to hear the particulars of his suspicions every look described and all the wheres and hows of a circumstance which highly entertained her but his gaiety did not meet hers He found he could not be useful and his feelings were too much irritated for talking That he might not be irritated into an absolute fever by the fire which Mr Woodhouse 's tender habits required almost every evening throughout the year he soon afterwards took a hasty leave and walked home to the coolness and solitude of Donwell Abbey {para} CHAPTER VI {para} After being long fed with hopes of a speedy visit from Mr and Mrs Suckling the Highbury world were obliged to endure the mortification of hearing that they could not possibly come till the autumn No such importation of novelties could enrich their intellectual stores at present In the daily interchange of news they must be again restricted to the other topics with which for a while the Sucklings coming had been united such as the last accounts of Mrs Churchill whose health seemed every day to supply a different report and the situation of Mrs Weston whose happiness it was to be hoped might eventually be as much increased by the arrival of a child as that of all her neighbours was by the approach of it {para} Mrs Elton was very much disappointed It was the delay of a great deal of pleasure and parade Her introductions and recommendations must all wait and every projected party be still only talked of So she thought at first but a little consideration convinced her that every thing need not be put off Why should not they explore to Box Hill though the Sucklings did not come They could go there again with them in the autumn It was settled that they should go to Box Hill That there was to be such a party had been long generally known it had even given the idea of another Emma had never been to Box Hill she wished to see what every body found so well worth seeing and she and Mr Weston had agreed to chuse some fine morning and drive thither Two or three more of the chosen only were to be admitted to join them and it was to be done in a quiet unpretending elegant way infinitely superior to the bustle and preparation the regular eating and drinking and picnic parade of the Eltons and the Sucklings {para} This was so very well understood between them that Emma could not but feel some surprise and a little displeasure on hearing from Mr Weston that he had been proposing to Mrs Elton as her brother and sister had failed her that the two parties should unite and go together and that as Mrs Elton had very readily acceded to it so it was to be if she had no objection Now as her objection was nothing but her very great dislike of Mrs Elton of which Mr Weston must already be perfectly aware it was not worth bringing forward again it could not be done without a reproof to him which would be giving pain to his wife and she found herself therefore obliged to consent to an arrangement which she would have done a great deal to avoid an arrangement which would probably expose her even to the degradation of being said to be of Mrs Elton 's party Every feeling was offended and the forbearance of her outward submission left a heavy arrear due of secret severity in her reflections on the unmanageable goodwill of Mr Weston 's temper {para} I am glad you approve of what I have done said he very comfortably But I thought you would Such schemes as these are nothing without numbers One cannot have too large a party A large party secures its own amusement And she is a good natured woman after all One could not leave her out {para} Emma denied none of it aloud and agreed to none of it in private {para} It was now the middle of June and the weather fine and Mrs Elton was growing impatient to name the day and settle with Mr Weston as to pigeon pies and cold lamb when a lame carriage horse threw every thing into sad uncertainty It might be weeks it might be only a few days before the horse were useable but no preparations could be ventured on and it was all melancholy stagnation Mrs Elton 's resources were inadequate to such an attack {para} Is not this most vexations Knightley she cried And such weather for exploring These delays and disappointments are quite odious What are we to do The year will wear away at this rate and nothing done Before this time last year I assure you we had had a delightful exploring party from Maple Grove to Kings Weston {para} You had better explore to Donwell replied Mr Knightley That may be done without horses Come and eat my strawberries They are ripening fast {para} If Mr Knightley did not begin seriously he was obliged to proceed so for his proposal was caught at with delight and the Oh I should like it of all things was not plainer in words than manner Donwell was famous for its strawberry beds which seemed a plea for the invitation but no plea was necessary cabbage beds would have been enough to tempt the lady who only wanted to be going somewhere She promised him again and again to come much oftener than he doubted and was extremely gratified by such a proof of intimacy such a distinguishing compliment as she chose to consider it {para} You may depend upon me said she I certainly will come Name your day and I will come You will allow me to bring Jane Fairfax {para} I cannot name a day said he till I have spoken to some others whom I would wish to meet you {para} Oh leave all that to me Only give me a carte blanche I am Lady Patroness you know It is my party I will bring friends with me {para} I hope you will bring Elton said he but I will not trouble you to give any other invitations {para} Oh now you are looking very sly But consider you need not be afraid of delegating power to me I am no young lady on her preferment Married women you know may be safely authorised It is my party Leave it all to me I will invite your guests {para} No he calmly replied there is but one married woman in the world whom I can ever allow to invite what guests she pleases to Donwell and that one is {para} Mrs Weston I suppose interrupted Mrs Elton rather mortified {para} No Mrs Knightley and till she is in being I will manage such matters myself {para} Ah you are an odd creature she cried satisfied to have no one preferred to herself You are a humourist and may say what you like Quite a humourist Well I shall bring Jane with me Jane and her aunt The rest I leave to you I have no objections at all to meeting the Hartfield family Don't scruple I know you are attached to them {para} You certainly will meet them if I can prevail and I shall call on Miss Bates in my way home {para} That 's quite unnecessary I see Jane every day but as you like It is to be a morning scheme you know Knightley quite a simple thing I shall wear a large bonnet and bring one of my little baskets hanging on my arm Here probably this basket with pink ribbon Nothing can be more simple you see And Jane will have such another There is to be no form or parade a sort of gipsy party We are to walk about your gardens and gather the strawberries ourselves and sit under trees and whatever else you may like to provide it is to be all out of doors a table spread in the shade you know Every thing as natural and simple as possible Is not that your idea {para} Not quite My idea of the simple and the natural will be to have the table spread in the dining room The nature and the simplicity of gentlemen and ladies with their servants and furniture I think is best observed by meals within doors When you are tired of eating strawberries in the garden there shall be cold meat in the house {para} Well as you please only don't have a great set out And by the bye can I or my housekeeper be of any use to you with our opinion Pray be sincere Knightley If you wish me to talk to Mrs Hodges or to inspect anything {para} I have not the least wish for it I thank you {para} Well but if any difficulties should arise my housekeeper is extremely clever {para} I will answer for it that mine thinks herself full as clever and would spurn any body 's assistance {para} I wish we had a donkey The thing would be for us all to come on donkeys Jane Miss Bates and me and my caro sposo walking by I really must talk to him about purchasing a donkey In a country life I conceive it to be a sort of necessary for let a woman have ever so many resources it is not possible for her to be always shut up at home and very long walks you know in summer there is dust and in winter there is dirt {para} You will not find either between Donwell and Highbury Donwell Lane is never dusty and now it is perfectly dry Come on a donkey however if you prefer it You can borrow Mrs Cole 's I would wish every thing to be as much to your taste as possible {para} That I am sure you would Indeed I do you justice my good friend Under that peculiar sort of dry blunt manner I know you have the warmest heart As I tell Mr E you are a thorough humourist Yes believe me Knightley I am fully sensible of your attention to me in the whole of this scheme You have hit upon the very thing to please me {para} Mr Knightley had another reason for avoiding a table in the shade He wished to persuade Mr Woodhouse as well as Emma to join the party and he knew that to have any of them sitting down out of doors to eat would inevitably make him ill Mr Woodhouse must not under the specious pretence of a morning drive and an hour or two spent at Donwell be tempted away to his misery {para} He was invited on good faith No lurking horrors were to upbraid him for his easy credulity He did consent He had not been at Donwell for two years Some very fine morning he and Emma and Harriet could go very well and he could sit still with Mrs Weston while the dear girls walked about the gardens He did not suppose they could be damp now in the middle of the day He should like to see the old house again exceedingly and should be very happy to meet Mr and Mrs Elton and any other of his neighbours He could not see any objection at all to his and Emma 's and Harriet 's going there some very fine morning He thought it very well done of Mr Knightley to invite them very kind and sensible much cleverer than dining out He was not fond of dining out {para} Mr Knightley was fortunate in every body 's most ready concurrence The invitation was everywhere so well received that it seemed as if like Mrs Elton they were all taking the scheme as a particular compliment to themselves Emma and Harriet professed very high expectations of pleasure from it and Mr Weston unasked promised to get Frank over to join them if possible a proof of approbation and gratitude which could have been dispensed with Mr Knightley was then obliged to say that he should be glad to see him and Mr Weston engaged to lose no time in writing and spare no arguments to induce him to come {para} In the meanwhile the lame horse recovered so fast that the party to Box Hill was again under happy consideration and at last Donwell was settled for one day and Box Hill for the next the weather appearing exactly right {para} Under a bright mid day sun at almost Midsummer Mr Woodhouse was safely conveyed in his carriage with one window down to partake of this al fresco party and in one of the most comfortable rooms in the Abbey especially prepared for him by a fire all the morning he was happily placed quite at his ease ready to talk with pleasure of what had been achieved and advise every body to come and sit down and not to heat themselves Mrs Weston who seemed to have walked there on purpose to be tired and sit all the time with him remained when all the others were invited or persuaded out his patient listener and sympathiser {para} It was so long since Emma had been at the Abbey that as soon as she was satisfied of her father 's comfort she was glad to leave him and look around her eager to refresh and correct her memory with more particular observation more exact understanding of a house and grounds which must ever be so interesting to her and all her family {para} She felt all the honest pride and complacency which her alliance with the present and future proprietor could fairly warrant as she viewed the respectable size and style of the building its suitable becoming characteristic situation low and sheltered its ample gardens stretching down to meadows washed by a stream of which the Abbey with all the old neglect of prospect had scarcely a sight and its abundance of timber in rows and avenues which neither fashion nor extravagance had rooted up The house was larger than Hartfield and totally unlike it covering a good deal of ground rambling and irregular with many comfortable and one or two handsome rooms It was just what it ought to be and it looked what it was and Emma felt an increasing respect for it as the residence of a family of such true gentility untainted in blood and understanding Some faults of temper John Knightley had but Isabella had connected herself unexceptionably She had given them neither men nor names nor places that could raise a blush These were pleasant feelings and she walked about and indulged them till it was necessary to do as the others did and collect round the strawberry beds The whole party were assembled excepting Frank Churchill who was expected every moment from Richmond and Mrs Elton in all her apparatus of happiness her large bonnet and her basket was very ready to lead the way in gathering accepting or talking strawberries and only strawberries could now be thought or spoken of The best fruit in England every body 's favourite always wholesome These the finest beds and finest sorts Delightful to gather for one 's self the only way of really enjoying them Morning decidedly the best time never tired every sort good hautboy infinitely superior no comparison the others hardly eatable hautboys very scarce Chili preferred white wood finest flavour of all price of strawberries in London abundance about Bristol Maple Grove cultivation beds when to be renewed gardeners thinking exactly different no general rule gardeners never to be put out of their way delicious fruit only too rich to be eaten much of inferior to cherries currants more refreshing only objection to gathering strawberries the stooping glaring sun tired to death could bear it no longer must go and sit in the shade {para} Such for half an hour was the conversation interrupted only once by Mrs Weston who came out in her solicitude after her son in law to inquire if he were come and she was a little uneasy She had some fears of his horse {para} Seats tolerably in the shade were found and now Emma was obliged to overhear what Mrs Elton and Jane Fairfax were talking of A situation a most desirable situation was in question Mrs Elton had received notice of it that morning and was in raptures It was not with Mrs Suckling it was not with Mrs Bragge but in felicity and splendour it fell short only of them it was with a cousin of Mrs Bragge an acquaintance of Mrs Suckling a lady known at Maple Grove Delightful charming superior first circles spheres lines ranks every thing and Mrs Elton was wild to have the offer closed with immediately On her side all was warmth energy and triumph and she positively refused to take her friend 's negative though Miss Fairfax continued to assure her that she would not at present engage in any thing repeating the same motives which she had been heard to urge before Still Mrs Elton insisted on being authorised to write an acquiescence by the morrow 's post How Jane could bear it at all was astonishing to Emma She did look vexed she did speak pointedly and at last with a decision of action unusual to her proposed a removal Should not they walk Would not Mr Knightley shew them the gardens all the gardens She wished to see the whole extent The pertinacity of her friend seemed more than she could bear {para} It was hot and after walking some time over the gardens in a scattered dispersed way scarcely any three together they insensibly followed one another to the delicious shade of a broad short avenue of limes which stretching beyond the garden at an equal distance from the river seemed the finish of the pleasure grounds It led to nothing nothing but a view at the end over a low stone wall with high pillars which seemed intended in their erection to give the appearance of an approach to the house which never had been there Disputable however as might be the taste of such a termination it was in itself a charming walk and the view which closed it extremely pretty The considerable slope at nearly the foot of which the Abbey stood gradually acquired a steeper form beyond its grounds and at half a mile distant was a bank of considerable abruptness and grandeur well clothed with wood and at the bottom of this bank favourably placed and sheltered rose the Abbey Mill Farm with meadows in front and the river making a close and handsome curve around it {para} It was a sweet view sweet to the eye and the mind English verdure English culture English comfort seen under a sun bright without being oppressive {para} In this walk Emma and Mr Weston found all the others assembled and towards this view she immediately perceived Mr Knightley and Harriet distinct from the rest quietly leading the way Mr Knightley and Harriet It was an odd tete a tete but she was glad to see it There had been a time when he would have scorned her as a companion and turned from her with little ceremony Now they seemed in pleasant conversation There had been a time also when Emma would have been sorry to see Harriet in a spot so favourable for the Abbey Mill Farm but now she feared it not It might be safely viewed with all its appendages of prosperity and beauty its rich pastures spreading flocks orchard in blossom and light column of smoke ascending She joined them at the wall and found them more engaged in talking than in looking around He was giving Harriet information as to modes of agriculture etc and Emma received a smile which seemed to say These are my own concerns I have a right to talk on such subjects without being suspected of introducing Robert Martin She did not suspect him It was too old a story Robert Martin had probably ceased to think of Harriet They took a few turns together along the walk The shade was most refreshing and Emma found it the pleasantest part of the day {para} The next remove was to the house they must all go in and eat and they were all seated and busy and still Frank Churchill did not come Mrs Weston looked and looked in vain His father would not own himself uneasy and laughed at her fears but she could not be cured of wishing that he would part with his black mare He had expressed himself as to coming with more than common certainty His aunt was so much better that he had not a doubt of getting over to them Mrs Churchill 's state however as many were ready to remind her was liable to such sudden variation as might disappoint her nephew in the most reasonable dependence and Mrs Weston was at last persuaded to believe or to say that it must be by some attack of Mrs Churchill that he was prevented coming Emma looked at Harriet while the point was under consideration she behaved very well and betrayed no emotion {para} The cold repast was over and the party were to go out once more to see what had not yet been seen the old Abbey fish ponds perhaps get as far as the clover which was to be begun cutting on the morrow or at any rate have the pleasure of being hot and growing cool again Mr Woodhouse who had already taken his little round in the highest part of the gardens where no damps from the river were imagined even by him stirred no more and his daughter resolved to remain with him that Mrs Weston might be persuaded away by her husband to the exercise and variety which her spirits seemed to need {para} Mr Knightley had done all in his power for Mr Woodhouse 's entertainment Books of engravings drawers of medals cameos corals shells and every other family collection within his cabinets had been prepared for his old friend to while away the morning and the kindness had perfectly answered Mr Woodhouse had been exceedingly well amused Mrs Weston had been shewing them all to him and now he would shew them all to Emma fortunate in having no other resemblance to a child than in a total want of taste for what he saw for he was slow constant and methodical Before this second looking over was begun however Emma walked into the hall for the sake of a few moments free observation of the entrance and ground plot of the house and was hardly there when Jane Fairfax appeared coming quickly in from the garden and with a look of escape Little expecting to meet Miss Woodhouse so soon there was a start at first but Miss Woodhouse was the very person she was in quest of {para} Will you be so kind said she when I am missed as to say that I am gone home I am going this moment My aunt is not aware how late it is nor how long we have been absent but I am sure we shall be wanted and I am determined to go directly I have said nothing about it to any body It would only be giving trouble and distress Some are gone to the ponds and some to the lime walk Till they all come in I shall not be missed and when they do will you have the goodness to say that I am gone {para} Certainly if you wish it but you are not going to walk to Highbury alone {para} Yes what should hurt me I walk fast I shall be at home in twenty minutes {para} But it is too far indeed it is to be walking quite alone Let my father 's servant go with you Let me order the carriage It can be round in five minutes {para} Thank you thank you but on no account I would rather walk And for me to be afraid of walking alone I who may so soon have to guard others {para} She spoke with great agitation and Emma very feelingly replied That can be no reason for your being exposed to danger now I must order the carriage The heat even would be danger You are fatigued already {para} I am she answered I am fatigued but it is not the sort of fatigue quick walking will refresh me Miss Woodhouse we all know at times what it is to be wearied in spirits Mine I confess are exhausted The greatest kindness you can shew me will be to let me have my own way and only say that I am gone when it is necessary {para} Emma had not another word to oppose She saw it all and entering into her feelings promoted her quitting the house immediately and watched her safely off with the zeal of a friend Her parting look was grateful and her parting words Oh Miss Woodhouse the comfort of being sometimes alone seemed to burst from an overcharged heart and to describe somewhat of the continual endurance to be practised by her even towards some of those who loved her best {para} Such a home indeed such an aunt said Emma as she turned back into the hall again I do pity you And the more sensibility you betray of their just horrors the more I shall like you {para} Jane had not been gone a quarter of an hour and they had only accomplished some views of St Mark 's Place Venice when Frank Churchill entered the room Emma had not been thinking of him she had forgotten to think of him but she was very glad to see him Mrs Weston would be at ease The black mare was blameless they were right who had named Mrs Churchill as the cause He had been detained by a temporary increase of illness in her a nervous seizure which had lasted some hours and he had quite given up every thought of coming till very late and had he known how hot a ride he should have and how late with all his hurry he must be he believed he should not have come at all The heat was excessive he had never suffered any thing like it almost wished he had staid at home nothing killed him like heat he could bear any degree of cold etc but heat was intolerable and he sat down at the greatest possible distance from the slight remains of Mr Woodhouse 's fire looking very deplorable {para} You will soon be cooler if you sit still said Emma {para} As soon as I am cooler I shall go back again I could very ill be spared but such a point had been made of my coming You will all be going soon I suppose the whole party breaking up I met one as I came Madness in such weather absolute madness {para} Emma listened and looked and soon perceived that Frank Churchill 's state might be best defined by the expressive phrase of being out of humour Some people were always cross when they were hot Such might be his constitution and as she knew that eating and drinking were often the cure of such incidental complaints she recommended his taking some refreshment he would find abundance of every thing in the dining room and she humanely pointed out the door {para} No he should not eat He was not hungry it would only make him hotter In two minutes however he relented in his own favour and muttering something about spruce beer walked off Emma returned all her attention to her father saying in secret {para} I am glad I have done being in love with him I should not like a man who is so soon discomposed by a hot morning Harriet 's sweet easy temper will not mind it {para} He was gone long enough to have had a very comfortable meal and came back all the better grown quite cool and with good manners like himself able to draw a chair close to them take an interest in their employment and regret in a reasonable way that he should be so late He was not in his best spirits but seemed trying to improve them and at last made himself talk nonsense very agreeably They were looking over views in Swisserland {para} As soon as my aunt gets well I shall go abroad said he I shall never be easy till I have seen some of these places You will have my sketches some time or other to look at or my tour to read or my poem I shall do something to expose myself {para} That may be but not by sketches in Swisserland You will never go to Swisserland Your uncle and aunt will never allow you to leave England {para} They may be induced to go too A warm climate may be prescribed for her I have more than half an expectation of our all going abroad I assure you I have I feel a strong persuasion this morning that I shall soon be abroad I ought to travel I am tired of doing nothing I want a change I am serious Miss Woodhouse whatever your penetrating eyes may fancy I am sick of England and would leave it to morrow if I could {para} You are sick of prosperity and indulgence Cannot you invent a few hardships for yourself and be contented to stay {para} I sick of prosperity and indulgence You are quite mistaken I do not look upon myself as either prosperous or indulged I am thwarted in every thing material I do not consider myself at all a fortunate person {para} You are not quite so miserable though as when you first came Go and eat and drink a little more and you will do very well Another slice of cold meat another draught of Madeira and water will make you nearly on a par with the rest of us {para} No I shall not stir I shall sit by you You are my best cure {para} We are going to Box Hill to morrow you will join us It is not Swisserland but it will be something for a young man so much in want of a change You will stay and go with us {para} No certainly not I shall go home in the cool of the evening {para} But you may come again in the cool of to morrow morning {para} No It will not be worth while If I come I shall be cross {para} Then pray stay at Richmond {para} But if I do I shall be crosser still I can never bear to think of you all there without me {para} These are difficulties which you must settle for yourself Chuse your own degree of crossness I shall press you no more {para} The rest of the party were now returning and all were soon collected With some there was great joy at the sight of Frank Churchill others took it very composedly but there was a very general distress and disturbance on Miss Fairfax 's disappearance being explained That it was time for every body to go concluded the subject and with a short final arrangement for the next day 's scheme they parted Frank Churchill 's little inclination to exclude himself increased so much that his last words to Emma were {para} Well if you wish me to stay and join the party I will {para} She smiled her acceptance and nothing less than a summons from Richmond was to take him back before the following evening {para} CHAPTER VII {para} They had a very fine day for Box Hill and all the other outward circumstances of arrangement accommodation and punctuality were in favour of a pleasant party Mr Weston directed the whole officiating safely between Hartfield and the Vicarage and every body was in good time Emma and Harriet went together Miss Bates and her niece with the Eltons the gentlemen on horseback Mrs Weston remained with Mr Woodhouse Nothing was wanting but to be happy when they got there Seven miles were travelled in expectation of enjoyment and every body had a burst of admiration on first arriving but in the general amount of the day there was deficiency There was a languor a want of spirits a want of union which could not be got over They separated too much into parties The Eltons walked together Mr Knightley took charge of Miss Bates and Jane and Emma and Harriet belonged to Frank Churchill And Mr Weston tried in vain to make them harmonise better It seemed at first an accidental division but it never materially varied Mr and Mrs Elton indeed shewed no unwillingness to mix and be as agreeable as they could but during the two whole hours that were spent on the hill there seemed a principle of separation between the other parties too strong for any fine prospects or any cold collation or any cheerful Mr Weston to remove {para} At first it was downright dulness to Emma She had never seen Frank Churchill so silent and stupid He said nothing worth hearing looked without seeing admired without intelligence listened without knowing what she said While he was so dull it was no wonder that Harriet should be dull likewise and they were both insufferable {para} When they all sat down it was better to her taste a great deal better for Frank Churchill grew talkative and gay making her his first object Every distinguishing attention that could be paid was paid to her To amuse her and be agreeable in her eyes seemed all that he cared for and Emma glad to be enlivened not sorry to be flattered was gay and easy too and gave him all the friendly encouragement the admission to be gallant which she had ever given in the first and most animating period of their acquaintance but which now in her own estimation meant nothing though in the judgment of most people looking on it must have had such an appearance as no English word but flirtation could very well describe Mr Frank Churchill and Miss Woodhouse flirted together excessively They were laying themselves open to that very phrase and to having it sent off in a letter to Maple Grove by one lady to Ireland by another Not that Emma was gay and thoughtless from any real felicity it was rather because she felt less happy than she had expected She laughed because she was disappointed and though she liked him for his attentions and thought them all whether in friendship admiration or playfulness extremely judicious they were not winning back her heart She still intended him for her friend {para} How much I am obliged to you said he for telling me to come to day If it had not been for you I should certainly have lost all the happiness of this party I had quite determined to go away again {para} Yes you were very cross and I do not know what about except that you were too late for the best strawberries I was a kinder friend than you deserved But you were humble You begged hard to be commanded to come {para} Don't say I was cross I was fatigued The heat overcame me {para} It is hotter to day {para} Not to my feelings I am perfectly comfortable to day {para} You are comfortable because you are under command {para} Your command Yes {para} Perhaps I intended you to say so but I meant self command You had somehow or other broken bounds yesterday and run away from your own management but to day you are got back again and as I cannot be always with you it is best to believe your temper under your own command rather than mine {para} It comes to the same thing I can have no self command without a motive You order me whether you speak or not And you can be always with me You are always with me {para} Dating from three o'clock yesterday My perpetual influence could not begin earlier or you would not have been so much out of humour before {para} Three o'clock yesterday That is your date I thought I had seen you first in February {para} Your gallantry is really unanswerable But lowering her voice nobody speaks except ourselves and it is rather too much to be talking nonsense for the entertainment of seven silent people {para} I say nothing of which I am ashamed replied he with lively impudence I saw you first in February Let every body on the Hill hear me if they can Let my accents swell to Mickleham on one side and Dorking on the other I saw you first in February And then whispering Our companions are excessively stupid What shall we do to rouse them Any nonsense will serve They shall talk Ladies and gentlemen I am ordered by Miss Woodhouse who wherever she is presides to say that she desires to know what you are all thinking of {para} Some laughed and answered good humouredly Miss Bates said a great deal Mrs Elton swelled at the idea of Miss Woodhouse 's presiding Mr Knightley 's answer was the most distinct {para} Is Miss Woodhouse sure that she would like to hear what we are all thinking of {para} Oh no no cried Emma laughing as carelessly as she could Upon no account in the world It is the very last thing I would stand the brunt of just now Let me hear any thing rather than what you are all thinking of I will not say quite all There are one or two perhaps glancing at Mr Weston and Harriet whose thoughts I might not be afraid of knowing {para} It is a sort of thing cried Mrs Elton emphatically which I should not have thought myself privileged to inquire into Though perhaps as the Chaperon of the party I never was in any circle exploring parties young ladies married women {para} Her mutterings were chiefly to her husband and he murmured in reply {para} Very true my love very true Exactly so indeed quite unheard of but some ladies say any thing Better pass it off as a joke Every body knows what is due to you {para} It will not do whispered Frank to Emma they are most of them affronted I will attack them with more address Ladies and gentlemen I am ordered by Miss Woodhouse to say that she waives her right of knowing exactly what you may all be thinking of and only requires something very entertaining from each of you in a general way Here are seven of you besides myself who she is pleased to say am very entertaining already and she only demands from each of you either one thing very clever be it prose or verse original or repeated or two things moderately clever or three things very dull indeed and she engages to laugh heartily at them all {para} Oh very well exclaimed Miss Bates then I need not be uneasy Three things very dull indeed That will just do for me you know I shall be sure to say three dull things as soon as ever I open my mouth shan't I looking round with the most good humoured dependence on every body 's assent Do not you all think I shall {para} Emma could not resist {para} Ah ma'am but there may be a difficulty Pardon me but you will be limited as to number only three at once {para} Miss Bates deceived by the mock ceremony of her manner did not immediately catch her meaning but when it burst on her it could not anger though a slight blush shewed that it could pain her {para} Ah well to be sure Yes I see what she means turning to Mr Knightley and I will try to hold my tongue I must make myself very disagreeable or she would not have said such a thing to an old friend {para} I like your plan cried Mr Weston Agreed agreed I will do my best I am making a conundrum How will a conundrum reckon {para} Low I am afraid sir very low answered his son but we shall be indulgent especially to any one who leads the way {para} No no said Emma it will not reckon low A conundrum of Mr Weston 's shall clear him and his next neighbour Come sir pray let me hear it {para} I doubt its being very clever myself said Mr Weston It is too much a matter of fact but here it is What two letters of the alphabet are there that express perfection {para} What two letters express perfection I am sure I do not know {para} Ah you will never guess You to Emma I am certain will never guess I will tell you M and A Em ma Do you understand {para} Understanding and gratification came together It might be a very indifferent piece of wit but Emma found a great deal to laugh at and enjoy in it and so did Frank and Harriet It did not seem to touch the rest of the party equally some looked very stupid about it and Mr Knightley gravely said {para} This explains the sort of clever thing that is wanted and Mr Weston has done very well for himself but he must have knocked up every body else Perfection should not have come quite so soon {para} Oh for myself I protest I must be excused said Mrs Elton I really cannot attempt I am not at all fond of the sort of thing I had an acrostic once sent to me upon my own name which I was not at all pleased with I knew who it came from An abominable puppy You know who I mean nodding to her husband These kind of things are very well at Christmas when one is sitting round the fire but quite out of place in my opinion when one is exploring about the country in summer Miss Woodhouse must excuse me I am not one of those who have witty things at every body 's service I do not pretend to be a wit I have a great deal of vivacity in my own way but I really must be allowed to judge when to speak and when to hold my tongue Pass us if you please Mr Churchill Pass Mr E Knightley Jane and myself We have nothing clever to say not one of us {para} Yes yes pray pass me added her husband with a sort of sneering consciousness I have nothing to say that can entertain Miss Woodhouse or any other young lady An old married man quite good for nothing Shall we walk Augusta {para} With all my heart I am really tired of exploring so long on one spot Come Jane take my other arm {para} Jane declined it however and the husband and wife walked off Happy couple said Frank Churchill as soon as they were out of hearing How well they suit one another Very lucky marrying as they did upon an acquaintance formed only in a public place They only knew each other I think a few weeks in Bath Peculiarly lucky for as to any real knowledge of a person 's disposition that Bath or any public place can give it is all nothing there can be no knowledge It is only by seeing women in their own homes among their own set just as they always are that you can form any just judgment Short of that it is all guess and luck and will generally be ill luck How many a man has committed himself on a short acquaintance and rued it all the rest of his life {para} Miss Fairfax who had seldom spoken before except among her own confederates spoke now {para} Such things do occur undoubtedly She was stopped by a cough Frank Churchill turned towards her to listen {para} You were speaking said he gravely She recovered her voice {para} I was only going to observe that though such unfortunate circumstances do sometimes occur both to men and women I cannot imagine them to be very frequent A hasty and imprudent attachment may arise but there is generally time to recover from it afterwards I would be understood to mean that it can be only weak irresolute characters whose happiness must be always at the mercy of chance who will suffer an unfortunate acquaintance to be an inconvenience an oppression for ever {para} He made no answer merely looked and bowed in submission and soon afterwards said in a lively tone {para} Well I have so little confidence in my own judgment that whenever I marry I hope some body will chuse my wife for me Will you turning to Emma Will you chuse a wife for me I am sure I should like any body fixed on by you You provide for the family you know with a smile at his father Find some body for me I am in no hurry Adopt her educate her {para} And make her like myself {para} By all means if you can {para} Very well I undertake the commission You shall have a charming wife {para} She must be very lively and have hazle eyes I care for nothing else I shall go abroad for a couple of years and when I return I shall come to you for my wife Remember {para} Emma was in no danger of forgetting It was a commission to touch every favourite feeling Would not Harriet be the very creature described Hazle eyes excepted two years more might make her all that he wished He might even have Harriet in his thoughts at the moment who could say Referring the education to her seemed to imply it {para} Now ma'am said Jane to her aunt shall we join Mrs Elton {para} If you please my dear With all my heart I am quite ready I was ready to have gone with her but this will do just as well We shall soon overtake her There she is no that 's somebody else That 's one of the ladies in the Irish car party not at all like her Well I declare {para} They walked off followed in half a minute by Mr Knightley Mr Weston his son Emma and Harriet only remained and the young man 's spirits now rose to a pitch almost unpleasant Even Emma grew tired at last of flattery and merriment and wished herself rather walking quietly about with any of the others or sitting almost alone and quite unattended to in tranquil observation of the beautiful views beneath her The appearance of the servants looking out for them to give notice of the carriages was a joyful sight and even the bustle of collecting and preparing to depart and the solicitude of Mrs Elton to have her carriage first were gladly endured in the prospect of the quiet drive home which was to close the very questionable enjoyments of this day of pleasure Such another scheme composed of so many ill assorted people she hoped never to be betrayed into again {para} While waiting for the carriage she found Mr Knightley by her side He looked around as if to see that no one were near and then said {para} Emma I must once more speak to you as I have been used to do a privilege rather endured than allowed perhaps but I must still use it I cannot see you acting wrong without a remonstrance How could you be so unfeeling to Miss Bates How could you be so insolent in your wit to a woman of her character age and situation Emma I had not thought it possible {para} Emma recollected blushed was sorry but tried to laugh it off {para} Nay how could I help saying what I did Nobody could have helped it It was not so very bad I dare say she did not understand me {para} I assure you she did She felt your full meaning She has talked of it since I wish you could have heard how she talked of it with what candour and generosity I wish you could have heard her honouring your forbearance in being able to pay her such attentions as she was for ever receiving from yourself and your father when her society must be so irksome {para} Oh cried Emma I know there is not a better creature in the world but you must allow that what is good and what is ridiculous are most unfortunately blended in her {para} They are blended said he I acknowledge and were she prosperous I could allow much for the occasional prevalence of the ridiculous over the good Were she a woman of fortune I would leave every harmless absurdity to take its chance I would not quarrel with you for any liberties of manner Were she your equal in situation but Emma consider how far this is from being the case She is poor she has sunk from the comforts she was born to and if she live to old age must probably sink more Her situation should secure your compassion It was badly done indeed You whom she had known from an infant whom she had seen grow up from a period when her notice was an honour to have you now in thoughtless spirits and the pride of the moment laugh at her humble her and before her niece too and before others many of whom certainly some would be entirely guided by your treatment of her This is not pleasant to you Emma and it is very far from pleasant to me but I must I will I will tell you truths while I can satisfied with proving myself your friend by very faithful counsel and trusting that you will some time or other do me greater justice than you can do now {para} While they talked they were advancing towards the carriage it was ready and before she could speak again he had handed her in He had misinterpreted the feelings which had kept her face averted and her tongue motionless They were combined only of anger against herself mortification and deep concern She had not been able to speak and on entering the carriage sunk back for a moment overcome then reproaching herself for having taken no leave making no acknowledgment parting in apparent sullenness she looked out with voice and hand eager to shew a difference but it was just too late He had turned away and the horses were in motion She continued to look back but in vain and soon with what appeared unusual speed they were half way down the hill and every thing left far behind She was vexed beyond what could have been expressed almost beyond what she could conceal Never had she felt so agitated mortified grieved at any circumstance in her life She was most forcibly struck The truth of this representation there was no denying She felt it at her heart How could she have been so brutal so cruel to Miss Bates How could she have exposed herself to such ill opinion in any one she valued And how suffer him to leave her without saying one word of gratitude of concurrence of common kindness {para} Time did not compose her As she reflected more she seemed but to feel it more She never had been so depressed Happily it was not necessary to speak There was only Harriet who seemed not in spirits herself fagged and very willing to be silent and Emma felt the tears running down her cheeks almost all the way home without being at any trouble to check them extraordinary as they were {para} CHAPTER VIII {para} The wretchedness of a scheme to Box Hill was in Emma 's thoughts all the evening How it might be considered by the rest of the party she could not tell They in their different homes and their different ways might be looking back on it with pleasure but in her view it was a morning more completely misspent more totally bare of rational satisfaction at the time and more to be abhorred in recollection than any she had ever passed A whole evening of back gammon with her father was felicity to it There indeed lay real pleasure for there she was giving up the sweetest hours of the twenty four to his comfort and feeling that unmerited as might be the degree of his fond affection and confiding esteem she could not in her general conduct be open to any severe reproach As a daughter she hoped she was not without a heart She hoped no one could have said to her How could you be so unfeeling to your father I must I will tell you truths while I can Miss Bates should never again no never If attention in future could do away the past she might hope to be forgiven She had been often remiss her conscience told her so remiss perhaps more in thought than fact scornful ungracious But it should be so no more In the warmth of true contrition she would call upon her the very next morning and it should be the beginning on her side of a regular equal kindly intercourse {para} She was just as determined when the morrow came and went early that nothing might prevent her It was not unlikely she thought that she might see Mr Knightley in her way or perhaps he might come in while she were paying her visit She had no objection She would not be ashamed of the appearance of the penitence so justly and truly hers Her eyes were towards Donwell as she walked but she saw him not {para} The ladies were all at home She had never rejoiced at the sound before nor ever before entered the passage nor walked up the stairs with any wish of giving pleasure but in conferring obligation or of deriving it except in subsequent ridicule {para} There was a bustle on her approach a good deal of moving and talking She heard Miss Bates 's voice something was to be done in a hurry the maid looked frightened and awkward hoped she would be pleased to wait a moment and then ushered her in too soon The aunt and niece seemed both escaping into the adjoining room Jane she had a distinct glimpse of looking extremely ill and before the door had shut them out she heard Miss Bates saying Well my dear I shall say you are laid down upon the bed and I am sure you are ill enough {para} Poor old Mrs Bates civil and humble as usual looked as if she did not quite understand what was going on {para} I am afraid Jane is not very well said she but I do not know they tell me she is well I dare say my daughter will be here presently Miss Woodhouse I hope you find a chair I wish Hetty had not gone I am very little able Have you a chair ma'am Do you sit where you like I am sure she will be here presently {para} Emma seriously hoped she would She had a moment 's fear of Miss Bates keeping away from her But Miss Bates soon came Very happy and obliged but Emma 's conscience told her that there was not the same cheerful volubility as before less ease of look and manner A very friendly inquiry after Miss Fairfax she hoped might lead the way to a return of old feelings The touch seemed immediate {para} Ah Miss Woodhouse how kind you are I suppose you have heard and are come to give us joy This does not seem much like joy indeed in me twinkling away a tear or two but it will be very trying for us to part with her after having had her so long and she has a dreadful headach just now writing all the morning such long letters you know to be written to Colonel Campbell and Mrs Dixon My dear said I you will blind yourself for tears were in her eyes perpetually One cannot wonder one cannot wonder It is a great change and though she is amazingly fortunate such a situation I suppose as no young woman before ever met with on first going out do not think us ungrateful Miss Woodhouse for such surprising good fortune again dispersing her tears but poor dear soul if you were to see what a headache she has When one is in great pain you know one cannot feel any blessing quite as it may deserve She is as low as possible To look at her nobody would think how delighted and happy she is to have secured such a situation You will excuse her not coming to you she is not able she is gone into her own room I want her to lie down upon the bed My dear said I I shall say you are laid down upon the bed but however she is not she is walking about the room But now that she has written her letters she says she shall soon be well She will be extremely sorry to miss seeing you Miss Woodhouse but your kindness will excuse her You were kept waiting at the door I was quite ashamed but somehow there was a little bustle for it so happened that we had not heard the knock and till you were on the stairs we did not know any body was coming It is only Mrs Cole said I depend upon it Nobody else would come so early Well said she it must be borne some time or other and it may as well be now But then Patty came in and said it was you Oh said I it is Miss Woodhouse I am sure you will like to see her I can see nobody said she and up she got and would go away and that was what made us keep you waiting and extremely sorry and ashamed we were If you must go my dear said I you must and I will say you are laid down upon the bed {para} Emma was most sincerely interested Her heart had been long growing kinder towards Jane and this picture of her present sufferings acted as a cure of every former ungenerous suspicion and left her nothing but pity and the remembrance of the less just and less gentle sensations of the past obliged her to admit that Jane might very naturally resolve on seeing Mrs Cole or any other steady friend when she might not bear to see herself She spoke as she felt with earnest regret and solicitude sincerely wishing that the circumstances which she collected from Miss Bates to be now actually determined on might be as much for Miss Fairfax 's advantage and comfort as possible It must be a severe trial to them all She had understood it was to be delayed till Colonel Campbell 's return {para} So very kind replied Miss Bates But you are always kind {para} There was no bearing such an always and to break through her dreadful gratitude Emma made the direct inquiry of {para} Where may I ask is Miss Fairfax going {para} To a Mrs Smallridge charming woman most superior to have the charge of her three little girls delightful children Impossible that any situation could be more replete with comfort if we except perhaps Mrs Suckling 's own family and Mrs Bragge 's but Mrs Smallridge is intimate with both and in the very same neighbourhood lives only four miles from Maple Grove Jane will be only four miles from Maple Grove {para} Mrs Elton I suppose has been the person to whom Miss Fairfax owes {para} Yes our good Mrs Elton The most indefatigable true friend She would not take a denial She would not let Jane say No for when Jane first heard of it it was the day before yesterday the very morning we were at Donwell when Jane first heard of it she was quite decided against accepting the offer and for the reasons you mention exactly as you say she had made up her mind to close with nothing till Colonel Campbell 's return and nothing should induce her to enter into any engagement at present and so she told Mrs Elton over and over again and I am sure I had no more idea that she would change her mind but that good Mrs Elton whose judgment never fails her saw farther than I did It is not every body that would have stood out in such a kind way as she did and refuse to take Jane 's answer but she positively declared she would not write any such denial yesterday as Jane wished her she would wait and sure enough yesterday evening it was all settled that Jane should go Quite a surprize to me I had not the least idea Jane took Mrs Elton aside and told her at once that upon thinking over the advantages of Mrs Smallridge 's situation she had come to the resolution of accepting it I did not know a word of it till it was all settled {para} You spent the evening with Mrs Elton {para} Yes all of us Mrs Elton would have us come It was settled so upon the hill while we were walking about with Mr Knightley You must all spend your evening with us said she I positively must have you all come {para} Mr Knightley was there too was he {para} No not Mr Knightley he declined it from the first and though I thought he would come because Mrs Elton declared she would not let him off he did not but my mother and Jane and I were all there and a very agreeable evening we had Such kind friends you know Miss Woodhouse one must always find agreeable though every body seemed rather fagged after the morning 's party Even pleasure you know is fatiguing and I cannot say that any of them seemed very much to have enjoyed it However I shall always think it a very pleasant party and feel extremely obliged to the kind friends who included me in it {para} Miss Fairfax I suppose though you were not aware of it had been making up her mind the whole day {para} I dare say she had {para} Whenever the time may come it must be unwelcome to her and all her friends but I hope her engagement will have every alleviation that is possible I mean as to the character and manners of the family {para} Thank you dear Miss Woodhouse Yes indeed there is every thing in the world that can make her happy in it Except the Sucklings and Bragges there is not such another nursery establishment so liberal and elegant in all Mrs Elton 's acquaintance Mrs Smallridge a most delightful woman A style of living almost equal to Maple Grove and as to the children except the little Sucklings and little Bragges there are not such elegant sweet children anywhere Jane will be treated with such regard and kindness It will be nothing but pleasure a life of pleasure And her salary I really cannot venture to name her salary to you Miss Woodhouse Even you used as you are to great sums would hardly believe that so much could be given to a young person like Jane {para} Ah madam cried Emma if other children are at all like what I remember to have been myself I should think five times the amount of what I have ever yet heard named as a salary on such occasions dearly earned {para} You are so noble in your ideas {para} And when is Miss Fairfax to leave you {para} Very soon very soon indeed that 's the worst of it Within a fortnight Mrs Smallridge is in a great hurry My poor mother does not know how to bear it So then I try to put it out of her thoughts and say Come ma'am do not let us think about it any more {para} Her friends must all be sorry to lose her and will not Colonel and Mrs Campbell be sorry to find that she has engaged herself before their return {para} Yes Jane says she is sure they will but yet this is such a situation as she cannot feel herself justified in declining I was so astonished when she first told me what she had been saying to Mrs Elton and when Mrs Elton at the same moment came congratulating me upon it It was before tea stay no it could not be before tea because we were just going to cards and yet it was before tea because I remember thinking Oh no now I recollect now I have it something happened before tea but not that Mr Elton was called out of the room before tea old John Abdy 's son wanted to speak with him Poor old John I have a great regard for him he was clerk to my poor father twenty seven years and now poor old man he is bed ridden and very poorly with the rheumatic gout in his joints I must go and see him to day and so will Jane I am sure if she gets out at all And poor John 's son came to talk to Mr Elton about relief from the parish he is very well to do himself you know being head man at the Crown ostler and every thing of that sort but still he cannot keep his father without some help and so when Mr Elton came back he told us what John ostler had been telling him and then it came out about the chaise having been sent to Randalls to take Mr Frank Churchill to Richmond That was what happened before tea It was after tea that Jane spoke to Mrs Elton {para} Miss Bates would hardly give Emma time to say how perfectly new this circumstance was to her but as without supposing it possible that she could be ignorant of any of the particulars of Mr Frank Churchill 's going she proceeded to give them all it was of no consequence {para} What Mr Elton had learned from the ostler on the subject being the accumulation of the ostler 's own knowledge and the knowledge of the servants at Randalls was that a messenger had come over from Richmond soon after the return of the party from Box Hill which messenger however had been no more than was expected and that Mr Churchill had sent his nephew a few lines containing upon the whole a tolerable account of Mrs Churchill and only wishing him not to delay coming back beyond the next morning early but that Mr Frank Churchill having resolved to go home directly without waiting at all and his horse seeming to have got a cold Tom had been sent off immediately for the Crown chaise and the ostler had stood out and seen it pass by the boy going a good pace and driving very steady {para} There was nothing in all this either to astonish or interest and it caught Emma 's attention only as it united with the subject which already engaged her mind The contrast between Mrs Churchill 's importance in the world and Jane Fairfax 's struck her one was every thing the other nothing and she sat musing on the difference of woman 's destiny and quite unconscious on what her eyes were fixed till roused by Miss Bates 's saying {para} Aye I see what you are thinking of the pianoforte What is to become of that Very true Poor dear Jane was talking of it just now You must go said she You and I must part You will have no business here Let it stay however said she give it houseroom till Colonel Campbell comes back I shall talk about it to him he will settle for me he will help me out of all my difficulties And to this day I do believe she knows not whether it was his present or his daughter 's {para} Now Emma was obliged to think of the pianoforte and the remembrance of all her former fanciful and unfair conjectures was so little pleasing that she soon allowed herself to believe her visit had been long enough and with a repetition of every thing that she could venture to say of the good wishes which she really felt took leave {para} CHAPTER IX {para} Emma 's pensive meditations as she walked home were not interrupted but on entering the parlour she found those who must rouse her Mr Knightley and Harriet had arrived during her absence and were sitting with her father Mr Knightley immediately got up and in a manner decidedly graver than usual said {para} I would not go away without seeing you but I have no time to spare and therefore must now be gone directly I am going to London to spend a few days with John and Isabella Have you any thing to send or say besides the love which nobody carries {para} Nothing at all But is not this a sudden scheme {para} Yes rather I have been thinking of it some little time {para} Emma was sure he had not forgiven her he looked unlike himself Time however she thought would tell him that they ought to be friends again While he stood as if meaning to go but not going her father began his inquiries {para} Well my dear and did you get there safely And how did you find my worthy old friend and her daughter I dare say they must have been very much obliged to you for coming Dear Emma has been to call on Mrs and Miss Bates Mr Knightley as I told you before She is always so attentive to them {para} Emma 's colour was heightened by this unjust praise and with a smile and shake of the head which spoke much she looked at Mr Knightley It seemed as if there were an instantaneous impression in her favour as if his eyes received the truth from her 's and all that had passed of good in her feelings were at once caught and honoured He looked at her with a glow of regard She was warmly gratified and in another moment still more so by a little movement of more than common friendliness on his part He took her hand whether she had not herself made the first motion she could not say she might perhaps have rather offered it but he took her hand pressed it and certainly was on the point of carrying it to his lips when from some fancy or other he suddenly let it go Why he should feel such a scruple why he should change his mind when it was all but done she could not perceive He would have judged better she thought if he had not stopped The intention however was indubitable and whether it was that his manners had in general so little gallantry or however else it happened but she thought nothing became him more It was with him of so simple yet so dignified a nature She could not but recall the attempt with great satisfaction It spoke such perfect amity He left them immediately afterwards gone in a moment He always moved with the alertness of a mind which could neither be undecided nor dilatory but now he seemed more sudden than usual in his disappearance {para} Emma could not regret her having gone to Miss Bates but she wished she had left her ten minutes earlier it would have been a great pleasure to talk over Jane Fairfax 's situation with Mr Knightley Neither would she regret that he should be going to Brunswick Square for she knew how much his visit would be enjoyed but it might have happened at a better time and to have had longer notice of it would have been pleasanter They parted thorough friends however she could not be deceived as to the meaning of his countenance and his unfinished gallantry it was all done to assure her that she had fully recovered his good opinion He had been sitting with them half an hour she found It was a pity that she had not come back earlier {para} In the hope of diverting her father 's thoughts from the disagreeableness of Mr Knightley 's going to London and going so suddenly and going on horseback which she knew would be all very bad Emma communicated her news of Jane Fairfax and her dependence on the effect was justified it supplied a very useful check interested without disturbing him He had long made up his mind to Jane Fairfax 's going out as governess and could talk of it cheerfully but Mr Knightley 's going to London had been an unexpected blow {para} I am very glad indeed my dear to hear she is to be so comfortably settled Mrs Elton is very good natured and agreeable and I dare say her acquaintance are just what they ought to be I hope it is a dry situation and that her health will be taken good care of It ought to be a first object as I am sure poor Miss Taylor 's always was with me You know my dear she is going to be to this new lady what Miss Taylor was to us And I hope she will be better off in one respect and not be induced to go away after it has been her home so long {para} The following day brought news from Richmond to throw every thing else into the background An express arrived at Randalls to announce the death of Mrs Churchill Though her nephew had had no particular reason to hasten back on her account she had not lived above six and thirty hours after his return A sudden seizure of a different nature from any thing foreboded by her general state had carried her off after a short struggle The great Mrs Churchill was no more {para} It was felt as such things must be felt Every body had a degree of gravity and sorrow tenderness towards the departed solicitude for the surviving friends and in a reasonable time curiosity to know where she would be buried Goldsmith tells us that when lovely woman stoops to folly she has nothing to do but to die and when she stoops to be disagreeable it is equally to be recommended as a clearer of ill fame Mrs Churchill after being disliked at least twenty five years was now spoken of with compassionate allowances In one point she was fully justified She had never been admitted before to be seriously ill The event acquitted her of all the fancifulness and all the selfishness of imaginary complaints {para} Poor Mrs Churchill no doubt she had been suffering a great deal more than any body had ever supposed and continual pain would try the temper It was a sad event a great shock with all her faults what would Mr Churchill do without her Mr Churchill 's loss would be dreadful indeed Mr Churchill would never get over it Even Mr Weston shook his head and looked solemn and said Ah poor woman who would have thought it and resolved that his mourning should be as handsome as possible and his wife sat sighing and moralising over her broad hems with a commiseration and good sense true and steady How it would affect Frank was among the earliest thoughts of both It was also a very early speculation with Emma The character of Mrs Churchill the grief of her husband her mind glanced over them both with awe and compassion and then rested with lightened feelings on how Frank might be affected by the event how benefited how freed She saw in a moment all the possible good Now an attachment to Harriet Smith would have nothing to encounter Mr Churchill independent of his wife was feared by nobody an easy guidable man to be persuaded into any thing by his nephew All that remained to be wished was that the nephew should form the attachment as with all her goodwill in the cause Emma could feel no certainty of its being already formed {para} Harriet behaved extremely well on the occasion with great self command What ever she might feel of brighter hope she betrayed nothing Emma was gratified to observe such a proof in her of strengthened character and refrained from any allusion that might endanger its maintenance They spoke therefore of Mrs Churchill 's death with mutual forbearance {para} Short letters from Frank were received at Randalls communicating all that was immediately important of their state and plans Mr Churchill was better than could be expected and their first removal on the departure of the funeral for Yorkshire was to be to the house of a very old friend in Windsor to whom Mr Churchill had been promising a visit the last ten years At present there was nothing to be done for Harriet good wishes for the future were all that could yet be possible on Emma 's side {para} It was a more pressing concern to shew attention to Jane Fairfax whose prospects were closing while Harriet 's opened and whose engagements now allowed of no delay in any one at Highbury who wished to shew her kindness and with Emma it was grown into a first wish She had scarcely a stronger regret than for her past coldness and the person whom she had been so many months neglecting was now the very one on whom she would have lavished every distinction of regard or sympathy She wanted to be of use to her wanted to shew a value for her society and testify respect and consideration She resolved to prevail on her to spend a day at Hartfield A note was written to urge it The invitation was refused and by a verbal message Miss Fairfax was not well enough to write and when Mr Perry called at Hartfield the same morning it appeared that she was so much indisposed as to have been visited though against her own consent by himself and that she was suffering under severe headaches and a nervous fever to a degree which made him doubt the possibility of her going to Mrs Smallridge 's at the time proposed Her health seemed for the moment completely deranged appetite quite gone and though there were no absolutely alarming symptoms nothing touching the pulmonary complaint which was the standing apprehension of the family Mr Perry was uneasy about her He thought she had undertaken more than she was equal to and that she felt it so herself though she would not own it Her spirits seemed overcome Her present home he could not but observe was unfavourable to a nervous disorder confined always to one room he could have wished it otherwise and her good aunt though his very old friend he must acknowledge to be not the best companion for an invalid of that description Her care and attention could not be questioned they were in fact only too great He very much feared that Miss Fairfax derived more evil than good from them Emma listened with the warmest concern grieved for her more and more and looked around eager to discover some way of being useful To take her be it only an hour or two from her aunt to give her change of air and scene and quiet rational conversation even for an hour or two might do her good and the following morning she wrote again to say in the most feeling language she could command that she would call for her in the carriage at any hour that Jane would name mentioning that she had Mr Perry 's decided opinion in favour of such exercise for his patient The answer was only in this short note {para} Miss Fairfax 's compliments and thanks but is quite unequal to any exercise {para} Emma felt that her own note had deserved something better but it was impossible to quarrel with words whose tremulous inequality shewed indisposition so plainly and she thought only of how she might best counteract this unwillingness to be seen or assisted In spite of the answer therefore she ordered the carriage and drove to Mrs Bates 's in the hope that Jane would be induced to join her but it would not do Miss Bates came to the carriage door all gratitude and agreeing with her most earnestly in thinking an airing might be of the greatest service and every thing that message could do was tried but all in vain Miss Bates was obliged to return without success Jane was quite unpersuadable the mere proposal of going out seemed to make her worse Emma wished she could have seen her and tried her own powers but almost before she could hint the wish Miss Bates made it appear that she had promised her niece on no account to let Miss Woodhouse in Indeed the truth was that poor dear Jane could not bear to see any body any body at all Mrs Elton indeed could not be denied and Mrs Cole had made such a point and Mrs Perry had said so much but except them Jane would really see nobody {para} Emma did not want to be classed with the Mrs Eltons the Mrs Perrys and the Mrs Coles who would force themselves anywhere neither could she feel any right of preference herself she submitted therefore and only questioned Miss Bates farther as to her niece 's appetite and diet which she longed to be able to assist On that subject poor Miss Bates was very unhappy and very communicative Jane would hardly eat any thing Mr Perry recommended nourishing food but every thing they could command and never had any body such good neighbours was distasteful {para} Emma on reaching home called the housekeeper directly to an examination of her stores and some arrowroot of very superior quality was speedily despatched to Miss Bates with a most friendly note In half an hour the arrowroot was returned with a thousand thanks from Miss Bates but dear Jane would not be satisfied without its being sent back it was a thing she could not take and moreover she insisted on her saying that she was not at all in want of any thing {para} When Emma afterwards heard that Jane Fairfax had been seen wandering about the meadows at some distance from Highbury on the afternoon of the very day on which she had under the plea of being unequal to any exercise so peremptorily refused to go out with her in the carriage she could have no doubt putting every thing together that Jane was resolved to receive no kindness from her She was sorry very sorry Her heart was grieved for a state which seemed but the more pitiable from this sort of irritation of spirits inconsistency of action and inequality of powers and it mortified her that she was given so little credit for proper feeling or esteemed so little worthy as a friend but she had the consolation of knowing that her intentions were good and of being able to say to herself that could Mr Knightley have been privy to all her attempts of assisting Jane Fairfax could he even have seen into her heart he would not on this occasion have found any thing to reprove {para} CHAPTER X {para} One morning about ten days after Mrs Churchill 's decease Emma was called downstairs to Mr Weston who could not stay five minutes and wanted particularly to speak with her He met her at the parlour door and hardly asking her how she did in the natural key of his voice sunk it immediately to say unheard by her father {para} Can you come to Randalls at any time this morning Do if it be possible Mrs Weston wants to see you She must see you {para} Is she unwell {para} No no not at all only a little agitated She would have ordered the carriage and come to you but she must see you alone and that you know nodding towards her father Humph Can you come {para} Certainly This moment if you please It is impossible to refuse what you ask in such a way But what can be the matter Is she really not ill {para} Depend upon me but ask no more questions You will know it all in time The most unaccountable business But hush hush {para} To guess what all this meant was impossible even for Emma Something really important seemed announced by his looks but as her friend was well she endeavoured not to be uneasy and settling it with her father that she would take her walk now she and Mr Weston were soon out of the house together and on their way at a quick pace for Randalls {para} Now said Emma when they were fairly beyond the sweep gates now Mr Weston do let me know what has happened {para} No no he gravely replied Don't ask me I promised my wife to leave it all to her She will break it to you better than I can Do not be impatient Emma it will all come out too soon {para} Break it to me cried Emma standing still with terror Good God Mr Weston tell me at once Something has happened in Brunswick Square I know it has Tell me I charge you tell me this moment what it is {para} No indeed you are mistaken {para} Mr Weston do not trifle with me Consider how many of my dearest friends are now in Brunswick Square Which of them is it I charge you by all that is sacred not to attempt concealment {para} Upon my word Emma {para} Your word why not your honour why not say upon your honour that it has nothing to do with any of them Good Heavens What can be to be broke to me that does not relate to one of that family {para} Upon my honour said he very seriously it does not It is not in the smallest degree connected with any human being of the name of Knightley {para} Emma 's courage returned and she walked on {para} I was wrong he continued in talking of its being broke to you I should not have used the expression In fact it does not concern you it concerns only myself that is we hope Humph In short my dear Emma there is no occasion to be so uneasy about it I don't say that it is not a disagreeable business but things might be much worse If we walk fast we shall soon be at Randalls {para} Emma found that she must wait and now it required little effort She asked no more questions therefore merely employed her own fancy and that soon pointed out to her the probability of its being some money concern something just come to light of a disagreeable nature in the circumstances of the family something which the late event at Richmond had brought forward Her fancy was very active Half a dozen natural children perhaps and poor Frank cut off This though very undesirable would be no matter of agony to her It inspired little more than an animating curiosity {para} Who is that gentleman on horseback said she as they proceeded speaking more to assist Mr Weston in keeping his secret than with any other view {para} I do not know One of the Otways Not Frank it is not Frank I assure you You will not see him He is half way to Windsor by this time {para} Has your son been with you then {para} Oh yes did not you know Well well never mind {para} For a moment he was silent and then added in a tone much more guarded and demure {para} Yes Frank came over this morning just to ask us how we did {para} They hurried on and were speedily at Randalls Well my dear said he as they entered the room I have brought her and now I hope you will soon be better I shall leave you together There is no use in delay I shall not be far off if you want me And Emma distinctly heard him add in a lower tone before he quitted the room I have been as good as my word She has not the least idea {para} Mrs Weston was looking so ill and had an air of so much perturbation that Emma 's uneasiness increased and the moment they were alone she eagerly said {para} What is it my dear friend Something of a very unpleasant nature I find has occurred do let me know directly what it is I have been walking all this way in complete suspense We both abhor suspense Do not let mine continue longer It will do you good to speak of your distress whatever it may be {para} Have you indeed no idea said Mrs Weston in a trembling voice Cannot you my dear Emma cannot you form a guess as to what you are to hear {para} So far as that it relates to Mr Frank Churchill I do guess {para} You are right It does relate to him and I will tell you directly resuming her work and seeming resolved against looking up He has been here this very morning on a most extraordinary errand It is impossible to express our surprize He came to speak to his father on a subject to announce an attachment {para} She stopped to breathe Emma thought first of herself and then of Harriet {para} More than an attachment indeed resumed Mrs Weston an engagement a positive engagement What will you say Emma what will any body say when it is known that Frank Churchill and Miss Fairfax are engaged nay that they have been long engaged {para} Emma even jumped with surprize and horror struck exclaimed {para} Jane Fairfax Good God You are not serious You do not mean it {para} You may well be amazed returned Mrs Weston still averting her eyes and talking on with eagerness that Emma might have time to recover You may well be amazed But it is even so There has been a solemn engagement between them ever since October formed at Weymouth and kept a secret from every body Not a creature knowing it but themselves neither the Campbells nor her family nor his It is so wonderful that though perfectly convinced of the fact it is yet almost incredible to myself I can hardly believe it I thought I knew him {para} Emma scarcely heard what was said Her mind was divided between two ideas her own former conversations with him about Miss Fairfax and poor Harriet and for some time she could only exclaim and require confirmation repeated confirmation {para} Well said she at last trying to recover herself this is a circumstance which I must think of at least half a day before I can at all comprehend it What engaged to her all the winter before either of them came to Highbury {para} Engaged since October secretly engaged It has hurt me Emma very much It has hurt his father equally Some part of his conduct we cannot excuse {para} Emma pondered a moment and then replied I will not pretend not to understand you and to give you all the relief in my power be assured that no such effect has followed his attentions to me as you are apprehensive of {para} Mrs Weston looked up afraid to believe but Emma 's countenance was as steady as her words {para} That you may have less difficulty in believing this boast of my present perfect indifference she continued I will farther tell you that there was a period in the early part of our acquaintance when I did like him when I was very much disposed to be attached to him nay was attached and how it came to cease is perhaps the wonder Fortunately however it did cease I have really for some time past for at least these three months cared nothing about him You may believe me Mrs Weston This is the simple truth {para} Mrs Weston kissed her with tears of joy and when she could find utterance assured her that this protestation had done her more good than any thing else in the world could do {para} Mr Weston will be almost as much relieved as myself said she On this point we have been wretched It was our darling wish that you might be attached to each other and we were persuaded that it was so Imagine what we have been feeling on your account {para} I have escaped and that I should escape may be a matter of grateful wonder to you and myself But this does not acquit him Mrs Weston and I must say that I think him greatly to blame What right had he to come among us with affection and faith engaged and with manners so very disengaged What right had he to endeavour to please as he certainly did to distinguish any one young woman with persevering attention as he certainly did while he really belonged to another How could he tell what mischief he might be doing How could he tell that he might not be making me in love with him very wrong very wrong indeed {para} From something that he said my dear Emma I rather imagine {para} And how could she bear such behaviour Composure with a witness to look on while repeated attentions were offering to another woman before her face and not resent it That is a degree of placidity which I can neither comprehend nor respect {para} There were misunderstandings between them Emma he said so expressly He had not time to enter into much explanation He was here only a quarter of an hour and in a state of agitation which did not allow the full use even of the time he could stay but that there had been misunderstandings he decidedly said The present crisis indeed seemed to be brought on by them and those misunderstandings might very possibly arise from the impropriety of his conduct {para} Impropriety Oh Mrs Weston it is too calm a censure Much much beyond impropriety It has sunk him I cannot say how it has sunk him in my opinion So unlike what a man should be None of that upright integrity that strict adherence to truth and principle that disdain of trick and littleness which a man should display in every transaction of his life {para} Nay dear Emma now I must take his part for though he has been wrong in this instance I have known him long enough to answer for his having many very many good qualities and {para} Good God cried Emma not attending to her Mrs Smallridge too Jane actually on the point of going as governess What could he mean by such horrible indelicacy To suffer her to engage herself to suffer her even to think of such a measure {para} He knew nothing about it Emma On this article I can fully acquit him It was a private resolution of hers not communicated to him or at least not communicated in a way to carry conviction Till yesterday I know he said he was in the dark as to her plans They burst on him I do not know how but by some letter or message and it was the discovery of what she was doing of this very project of hers which determined him to come forward at once own it all to his uncle throw himself on his kindness and in short put an end to the miserable state of concealment that had been carrying on so long {para} Emma began to listen better {para} I am to hear from him soon continued Mrs Weston He told me at parting that he should soon write and he spoke in a manner which seemed to promise me many particulars that could not be given now Let us wait therefore for this letter It may bring many extenuations It may make many things intelligible and excusable which now are not to be understood Don't let us be severe don't let us be in a hurry to condemn him Let us have patience I must love him and now that I am satisfied on one point the one material point I am sincerely anxious for its all turning out well and ready to hope that it may They must both have suffered a great deal under such a system of secresy and concealment {para} His sufferings replied Emma dryly do not appear to have done him much harm Well and how did Mr Churchill take it {para} Most favourably for his nephew gave his consent with scarcely a difficulty Conceive what the events of a week have done in that family While poor Mrs Churchill lived I suppose there could not have been a hope a chance a possibility but scarcely are her remains at rest in the family vault than her husband is persuaded to act exactly opposite to what she would have required What a blessing it is when undue influence does not survive the grave He gave his consent with very little persuasion {para} Ah thought Emma he would have done as much for Harriet {para} This was settled last night and Frank was off with the light this morning He stopped at Highbury at the Bates 's I fancy some time and then came on hither but was in such a hurry to get back to his uncle to whom he is just now more necessary than ever that as I tell you he could stay with us but a quarter of an hour He was very much agitated very much indeed to a degree that made him appear quite a different creature from any thing I had ever seen him before In addition to all the rest there had been the shock of finding her so very unwell which he had had no previous suspicion of and there was every appearance of his having been feeling a great deal {para} And do you really believe the affair to have been carrying on with such perfect secresy The Campbells the Dixons did none of them know of the engagement {para} Emma could not speak the name of Dixon without a little blush {para} None not one He positively said that it had been known to no being in the world but their two selves {para} Well said Emma I suppose we shall gradually grow reconciled to the idea and I wish them very happy But I shall always think it a very abominable sort of proceeding What has it been but a system of hypocrisy and deceit espionage and treachery To come among us with professions of openness and simplicity and such a league in secret to judge us all Here have we been the whole winter and spring completely duped fancying ourselves all on an equal footing of truth and honour with two people in the midst of us who may have been carrying round comparing and sitting in judgment on sentiments and words that were never meant for both to hear They must take the consequence if they have heard each other spoken of in a way not perfectly agreeable {para} I am quite easy on that head replied Mrs Weston I am very sure that I never said any thing of either to the other which both might not have heard {para} You are in luck Your only blunder was confined to my ear when you imagined a certain friend of ours in love with the lady {para} True But as I have always had a thoroughly good opinion of Miss Fairfax I never could under any blunder have spoken ill of her and as to speaking ill of him there I must have been safe {para} At this moment Mr Weston appeared at a little distance from the window evidently on the watch His wife gave him a look which invited him in and while he was coming round added Now dearest Emma let me intreat you to say and look every thing that may set his heart at ease and incline him to be satisfied with the match Let us make the best of it and indeed almost every thing may be fairly said in her favour It is not a connexion to gratify but if Mr Churchill does not feel that why should we and it may be a very fortunate circumstance for him for Frank I mean that he should have attached himself to a girl of such steadiness of character and good judgment as I have always given her credit for and still am disposed to give her credit for in spite of this one great deviation from the strict rule of right And how much may be said in her situation for even that error {para} Much indeed cried Emma feelingly If a woman can ever be excused for thinking only of herself it is in a situation like Jane Fairfax 's Of such one may almost say that the world is not their 's nor the world 's law {para} She met Mr Weston on his entrance with a smiling countenance exclaiming {para} A very pretty trick you have been playing me upon my word This was a device I suppose to sport with my curiosity and exercise my talent of guessing But you really frightened me I thought you had lost half your property at least And here instead of its being a matter of condolence it turns out to be one of congratulation I congratulate you Mr Weston with all my heart on the prospect of having one of the most lovely and accomplished young women in England for your daughter {para} A glance or two between him and his wife convinced him that all was as right as this speech proclaimed and its happy effect on his spirits was immediate His air and voice recovered their usual briskness he shook her heartily and gratefully by the hand and entered on the subject in a manner to prove that he now only wanted time and persuasion to think the engagement no very bad thing His companions suggested only what could palliate imprudence or smooth objections and by the time they had talked it all over together and he had talked it all over again with Emma in their walk back to Hartfield he was become perfectly reconciled and not far from thinking it the very best thing that Frank could possibly have done {para} CHAPTER XI {para} Harriet poor Harriet Those were the words in them lay the tormenting ideas which Emma could not get rid of and which constituted the real misery of the business to her Frank Churchill had behaved very ill by herself very ill in many ways but it was not so much his behaviour as her own which made her so angry with him It was the scrape which he had drawn her into on Harriet 's account that gave the deepest hue to his offence Poor Harriet to be a second time the dupe of her misconceptions and flattery Mr Knightley had spoken prophetically when he once said Emma you have been no friend to Harriet Smith She was afraid she had done her nothing but disservice It was true that she had not to charge herself in this instance as in the former with being the sole and original author of the mischief with having suggested such feelings as might otherwise never have entered Harriet 's imagination for Harriet had acknowledged her admiration and preference of Frank Churchill before she had ever given her a hint on the subject but she felt completely guilty of having encouraged what she might have repressed She might have prevented the indulgence and increase of such sentiments Her influence would have been enough And now she was very conscious that she ought to have prevented them She felt that she had been risking her friend 's happiness on most insufficient grounds Common sense would have directed her to tell Harriet that she must not allow herself to think of him and that there were five hundred chances to one against his ever caring for her But with common sense she added I am afraid I have had little to do {para} She was extremely angry with herself If she could not have been angry with Frank Churchill too it would have been dreadful As for Jane Fairfax she might at least relieve her feelings from any present solicitude on her account Harriet would be anxiety enough she need no longer be unhappy about Jane whose troubles and whose ill health having of course the same origin must be equally under cure Her days of insignificance and evil were over She would soon be well and happy and prosperous Emma could now imagine why her own attentions had been slighted This discovery laid many smaller matters open No doubt it had been from jealousy In Jane 's eyes she had been a rival and well might any thing she could offer of assistance or regard be repulsed An airing in the Hartfield carriage would have been the rack and arrowroot from the Hartfield storeroom must have been poison She understood it all and as far as her mind could disengage itself from the injustice and selfishness of angry feelings she acknowledged that Jane Fairfax would have neither elevation nor happiness beyond her desert But poor Harriet was such an engrossing charge There was little sympathy to be spared for any body else Emma was sadly fearful that this second disappointment would be more severe than the first Considering the very superior claims of the object it ought and judging by its apparently stronger effect on Harriet 's mind producing reserve and self command it would She must communicate the painful truth however and as soon as possible An injunction of secresy had been among Mr Weston 's parting words For the present the whole affair was to be completely a secret Mr Churchill had made a point of it as a token of respect to the wife he had so very recently lost and every body admitted it to be no more than due decorum Emma had promised but still Harriet must be excepted It was her superior duty {para} In spite of her vexation she could not help feeling it almost ridiculous that she should have the very same distressing and delicate office to perform by Harriet which Mrs Weston had just gone through by herself The intelligence which had been so anxiously announced to her she was now to be anxiously announcing to another Her heart beat quick on hearing Harriet 's footstep and voice so she supposed had poor Mrs Weston felt when she was approaching Randalls Could the event of the disclosure bear an equal resemblance But of that unfortunately there could be no chance {para} Well Miss Woodhouse cried Harriet coming eagerly into the room is not this the oddest news that ever was {para} What news do you mean replied Emma unable to guess by look or voice whether Harriet could indeed have received any hint {para} About Jane Fairfax Did you ever hear any thing so strange Oh you need not be afraid of owning it to me for Mr Weston has told me himself I met him just now He told me it was to be a great secret and therefore I should not think of mentioning it to any body but you but he said you knew it {para} What did Mr Weston tell you said Emma still perplexed {para} Oh he told me all about it that Jane Fairfax and Mr Frank Churchill are to be married and that they have been privately engaged to one another this long while How very odd {para} It was indeed so odd Harriet 's behaviour was so extremely odd that Emma did not know how to understand it Her character appeared absolutely changed She seemed to propose shewing no agitation or disappointment or peculiar concern in the discovery Emma looked at her quite unable to speak {para} Had you any idea cried Harriet of his being in love with her You perhaps might You blushing as she spoke who can see into every body 's heart but nobody else {para} Upon my word said Emma I begin to doubt my having any such talent Can you seriously ask me Harriet whether I imagined him attached to another woman at the very time that I was tacitly if not openly encouraging you to give way to your own feelings I never had the slightest suspicion till within the last hour of Mr Frank Churchill 's having the least regard for Jane Fairfax You may be very sure that if I had I should have cautioned you accordingly {para} Me cried Harriet colouring and astonished Why should you caution me You do not think I care about Mr Frank Churchill {para} I am delighted to hear you speak so stoutly on the subject replied Emma smiling but you do not mean to deny that there was a time and not very distant either when you gave me reason to understand that you did care about him {para} Him never never Dear Miss Woodhouse how could you so mistake me turning away distressed {para} Harriet cried Emma after a moment 's pause What do you mean Good Heaven what do you mean Mistake you Am I to suppose then {para} She could not speak another word Her voice was lost and she sat down waiting in great terror till Harriet should answer {para} Harriet who was standing at some distance and with face turned from her did not immediately say any thing and when she did speak it was in a voice nearly as agitated as Emma 's {para} I should not have thought it possible she began that you could have misunderstood me I know we agreed never to name him but considering how infinitely superior he is to every body else I should not have thought it possible that I could be supposed to mean any other person Mr Frank Churchill indeed I do not know who would ever look at him in the company of the other I hope I have a better taste than to think of Mr Frank Churchill who is like nobody by his side And that you should have been so mistaken is amazing I am sure but for believing that you entirely approved and meant to encourage me in my attachment I should have considered it at first too great a presumption almost to dare to think of him At first if you had not told me that more wonderful things had happened that there had been matches of greater disparity those were your very words I should not have dared to give way to I should not have thought it possible But if you who had been always acquainted with him {para} Harriet cried Emma collecting herself resolutely Let us understand each other now without the possibility of farther mistake Are you speaking of Mr Knightley {para} To be sure I am I never could have an idea of any body else and so I thought you knew When we talked about him it was as clear as possible {para} Not quite returned Emma with forced calmness for all that you then said appeared to me to relate to a different person I could almost assert that you had named Mr Frank Churchill I am sure the service Mr Frank Churchill had rendered you in protecting you from the gipsies was spoken of {para} Oh Miss Woodhouse how you do forget {para} My dear Harriet I perfectly remember the substance of what I said on the occasion I told you that I did not wonder at your attachment that considering the service he had rendered you it was extremely natural and you agreed to it expressing yourself very warmly as to your sense of that service and mentioning even what your sensations had been in seeing him come forward to your rescue The impression of it is strong on my memory {para} Oh dear cried Harriet now I recollect what you mean but I was thinking of something very different at the time It was not the gipsies it was not Mr Frank Churchill that I meant No with some elevation I was thinking of a much more precious circumstance of Mr Knightley 's coming and asking me to dance when Mr Elton would not stand up with me and when there was no other partner in the room That was the kind action that was the noble benevolence and generosity that was the service which made me begin to feel how superior he was to every other being upon earth {para} Good God cried Emma this has been a most unfortunate most deplorable mistake What is to be done {para} You would not have encouraged me then if you had understood me At least however I cannot be worse off than I should have been if the other had been the person and now it is possible {para} She paused a few moments Emma could not speak {para} I do not wonder Miss Woodhouse she resumed that you should feel a great difference between the two as to me or as to any body You must think one five hundred million times more above me than the other But I hope Miss Woodhouse that supposing that if strange as it may appear But you know they were your own words that more wonderful things had happened matches of greater disparity had taken place than between Mr Frank Churchill and me and therefore it seems as if such a thing even as this may have occurred before and if I should be so fortunate beyond expression as to if Mr Knightley should really if he does not mind the disparity I hope dear Miss Woodhouse you will not set yourself against it and try to put difficulties in the way But you are too good for that I am sure {para} Harriet was standing at one of the windows Emma turned round to look at her in consternation and hastily said {para} Have you any idea of Mr Knightley 's returning your affection {para} Yes replied Harriet modestly but not fearfully I must say that I have {para} Emma 's eyes were instantly withdrawn and she sat silently meditating in a fixed attitude for a few minutes A few minutes were sufficient for making her acquainted with her own heart A mind like hers once opening to suspicion made rapid progress She touched she admitted she acknowledged the whole truth Why was it so much worse that Harriet should be in love with Mr Knightley than with Frank Churchill Why was the evil so dreadfully increased by Harriet 's having some hope of a return It darted through her with the speed of an arrow that Mr Knightley must marry no one but herself {para} Her own conduct as well as her own heart was before her in the same few minutes She saw it all with a clearness which had never blessed her before How improperly had she been acting by Harriet How inconsiderate how indelicate how irrational how unfeeling had been her conduct What blindness what madness had led her on It struck her with dreadful force and she was ready to give it every bad name in the world Some portion of respect for herself however in spite of all these demerits some concern for her own appearance and a strong sense of justice by Harriet there would be no need of compassion to the girl who believed herself loved by Mr Knightley but justice required that she should not be made unhappy by any coldness now gave Emma the resolution to sit and endure farther with calmness with even apparent kindness For her own advantage indeed it was fit that the utmost extent of Harriet 's hopes should be enquired into and Harriet had done nothing to forfeit the regard and interest which had been so voluntarily formed and maintained or to deserve to be slighted by the person whose counsels had never led her right Rousing from reflection therefore and subduing her emotion she turned to Harriet again and in a more inviting accent renewed the conversation for as to the subject which had first introduced it the wonderful story of Jane Fairfax that was quite sunk and lost Neither of them thought but of Mr Knightley and themselves {para} Harriet who had been standing in no unhappy reverie was yet very glad to be called from it by the now encouraging manner of such a judge and such a friend as Miss Woodhouse and only wanted invitation to give the history of her hopes with great though trembling delight Emma 's tremblings as she asked and as she listened were better concealed than Harriet 's but they were not less Her voice was not unsteady but her mind was in all the perturbation that such a development of self such a burst of threatening evil such a confusion of sudden and perplexing emotions must create She listened with much inward suffering but with great outward patience to Harriet 's detail Methodical or well arranged or very well delivered it could not be expected to be but it contained when separated from all the feebleness and tautology of the narration a substance to sink her spirit especially with the corroborating circumstances which her own memory brought in favour of Mr Knightley 's most improved opinion of Harriet {para} Harriet had been conscious of a difference in his behaviour ever since those two decisive dances Emma knew that he had on that occasion found her much superior to his expectation From that evening or at least from the time of Miss Woodhouse 's encouraging her to think of him Harriet had begun to be sensible of his talking to her much more than he had been used to do and of his having indeed quite a different manner towards her a manner of kindness and sweetness Latterly she had been more and more aware of it When they had been all walking together he had so often come and walked by her and talked so very delightfully He seemed to want to be acquainted with her Emma knew it to have been very much the case She had often observed the change to almost the same extent Harriet repeated expressions of approbation and praise from him and Emma felt them to be in the closest agreement with what she had known of his opinion of Harriet He praised her for being without art or affectation for having simple honest generous feelings She knew that he saw such recommendations in Harriet he had dwelt on them to her more than once Much that lived in Harriet 's memory many little particulars of the notice she had received from him a look a speech a removal from one chair to another a compliment implied a preference inferred had been unnoticed because unsuspected by Emma Circumstances that might swell to half an hour 's relation and contained multiplied proofs to her who had seen them had passed undiscerned by her who now heard them but the two latest occurrences to be mentioned the two of strongest promise to Harriet were not without some degree of witness from Emma herself The first was his walking with her apart from the others in the lime walk at Donwell where they had been walking some time before Emma came and he had taken pains as she was convinced to draw her from the rest to himself and at first he had talked to her in a more particular way than he had ever done before in a very particular way indeed Harriet could not recall it without a blush He seemed to be almost asking her whether her affections were engaged But as soon as she Miss Woodhouse appeared likely to join them he changed the subject and began talking about farming The second was his having sat talking with her nearly half an hour before Emma came back from her visit the very last morning of his being at Hartfield though when he first came in he had said that he could not stay five minutes and his having told her during their conversation that though he must go to London it was very much against his inclination that he left home at all which was much more as Emma felt than he had acknowledged to her The superior degree of confidence towards Harriet which this one article marked gave her severe pain {para} On the subject of the first of the two circumstances she did after a little reflection venture the following question Might he not Is not it possible that when enquiring as you thought into the state of your affections he might be alluding to Mr Martin he might have Mr Martin 's interest in view But Harriet rejected the suspicion with spirit {para} Mr Martin No indeed There was not a hint of Mr Martin I hope I know better now than to care for Mr Martin or to be suspected of it {para} When Harriet had closed her evidence she appealed to her dear Miss Woodhouse to say whether she had not good ground for hope {para} I never should have presumed to think of it at first said she but for you You told me to observe him carefully and let his behaviour be the rule of mine and so I have But now I seem to feel that I may deserve him and that if he does chuse me it will not be any thing so very wonderful {para} The bitter feelings occasioned by this speech the many bitter feelings made the utmost exertion necessary on Emma 's side to enable her to say on reply {para} Harriet I will only venture to declare that Mr Knightley is the last man in the world who would intentionally give any woman the idea of his feeling for her more than he really does {para} Harriet seemed ready to worship her friend for a sentence so satisfactory and Emma was only saved from raptures and fondness which at that moment would have been dreadful penance by the sound of her father 's footsteps He was coming through the hall Harriet was too much agitated to encounter him She could not compose herself Mr Woodhouse would be alarmed she had better go with most ready encouragement from her friend therefore she passed off through another door and the moment she was gone this was the spontaneous burst of Emma 's feelings Oh God that I had never seen her {para} The rest of the day the following night were hardly enough for her thoughts She was bewildered amidst the confusion of all that had rushed on her within the last few hours Every moment had brought a fresh surprize and every surprize must be matter of humiliation to her How to understand it all How to understand the deceptions she had been thus practising on herself and living under The blunders the blindness of her own head and heart she sat still she walked about she tried her own room she tried the shrubbery in every place every posture she perceived that she had acted most weakly that she had been imposed on by others in a most mortifying degree that she had been imposing on herself in a degree yet more mortifying that she was wretched and should probably find this day but the beginning of wretchedness {para} To understand thoroughly understand her own heart was the first endeavour To that point went every leisure moment which her father 's claims on her allowed and every moment of involuntary absence of mind {para} How long had Mr Knightley been so dear to her as every feeling declared him now to be When had his influence such influence begun When had he succeeded to that place in her affection which Frank Churchill had once for a short period occupied She looked back she compared the two compared them as they had always stood in her estimation from the time of the latter 's becoming known to her and as they must at any time have been compared by her had it oh had it by any blessed felicity occurred to her to institute the comparison She saw that there never had been a time when she did not consider Mr Knightley as infinitely the superior or when his regard for her had not been infinitely the most dear She saw that in persuading herself in fancying in acting to the contrary she had been entirely under a delusion totally ignorant of her own heart and in short that she had never really cared for Frank Churchill at all {para} This was the conclusion of the first series of reflection This was the knowledge of herself on the first question of inquiry which she reached and without being long in reaching it She was most sorrowfully indignant ashamed of every sensation but the one revealed to her her affection for Mr Knightley Every other part of her mind was disgusting {para} With insufferable vanity had she believed herself in the secret of every body 's feelings with unpardonable arrogance proposed to arrange every body 's destiny She was proved to have been universally mistaken and she had not quite done nothing for she had done mischief She had brought evil on Harriet on herself and she too much feared on Mr Knightley Were this most unequal of all connexions to take place on her must rest all the reproach of having given it a beginning for his attachment she must believe to be produced only by a consciousness of Harriet 's and even were this not the case he would never have known Harriet at all but for her folly {para} Mr Knightley and Harriet Smith It was a union to distance every wonder of the kind The attachment of Frank Churchill and Jane Fairfax became commonplace threadbare stale in the comparison exciting no surprize presenting no disparity affording nothing to be said or thought Mr Knightley and Harriet Smith Such an elevation on her side Such a debasement on his It was horrible to Emma to think how it must sink him in the general opinion to foresee the smiles the sneers the merriment it would prompt at his expense the mortification and disdain of his brother the thousand inconveniences to himself Could it be No it was impossible And yet it was far very far from impossible Was it a new circumstance for a man of first rate abilities to be captivated by very inferior powers Was it new for one perhaps too busy to seek to be the prize of a girl who would seek him Was it new for any thing in this world to be unequal inconsistent incongruous or for chance and circumstance as second causes to direct the human fate {para} Oh had she never brought Harriet forward Had she left her where she ought and where he had told her she ought Had she not with a folly which no tongue could express prevented her marrying the unexceptionable young man who would have made her happy and respectable in the line of life to which she ought to belong all would have been safe none of this dreadful sequel would have been {para} How Harriet could ever have had the presumption to raise her thoughts to Mr Knightley How she could dare to fancy herself the chosen of such a man till actually assured of it But Harriet was less humble had fewer scruples than formerly Her inferiority whether of mind or situation seemed little felt She had seemed more sensible of Mr Elton 's being to stoop in marrying her than she now seemed of Mr Knightley 's Alas was not that her own doing too Who had been at pains to give Harriet notions of self consequence but herself Who but herself had taught her that she was to elevate herself if possible and that her claims were great to a high worldly establishment If Harriet from being humble were grown vain it was her doing too {para} CHAPTER XII {para} Till now that she was threatened with its loss Emma had never known how much of her happiness depended on being first with Mr Knightley first in interest and affection Satisfied that it was so and feeling it her due she had enjoyed it without reflection and only in the dread of being supplanted found how inexpressibly important it had been Long very long she felt she had been first for having no female connexions of his own there had been only Isabella whose claims could be compared with hers and she had always known exactly how far he loved and esteemed Isabella She had herself been first with him for many years past She had not deserved it she had often been negligent or perverse slighting his advice or even wilfully opposing him insensible of half his merits and quarrelling with him because he would not acknowledge her false and insolent estimate of her own but still from family attachment and habit and thorough excellence of mind he had loved her and watched over her from a girl with an endeavour to improve her and an anxiety for her doing right which no other creature had at all shared In spite of all her faults she knew she was dear to him might she not say very dear When the suggestions of hope however which must follow here presented themselves she could not presume to indulge them Harriet Smith might think herself not unworthy of being peculiarly exclusively passionately loved by Mr Knightley She could not She could not flatter herself with any idea of blindness in his attachment to her She had received a very recent proof of its impartiality How shocked had he been by her behaviour to Miss Bates How directly how strongly had he expressed himself to her on the subject Not too strongly for the offence but far far too strongly to issue from any feeling softer than upright justice and clear sighted goodwill She had no hope nothing to deserve the name of hope that he could have that sort of affection for herself which was now in question but there was a hope at times a slight one at times much stronger that Harriet might have deceived herself and be overrating his regard for her Wish it she must for his sake be the consequence nothing to herself but his remaining single all his life Could she be secure of that indeed of his never marrying at all she believed she should be perfectly satisfied Let him but continue the same Mr Knightley to her and her father the same Mr Knightley to all the world let Donwell and Hartfield lose none of their precious intercourse of friendship and confidence and her peace would be fully secured Marriage in fact would not do for her It would be incompatible with what she owed to her father and with what she felt for him Nothing should separate her from her father She would not marry even if she were asked by Mr Knightley {para} It must be her ardent wish that Harriet might be disappointed and she hoped that when able to see them together again she might at least be able to ascertain what the chances for it were She should see them henceforward with the closest observance and wretchedly as she had hitherto misunderstood even those she was watching she did not know how to admit that she could be blinded here He was expected back every day The power of observation would be soon given frightfully soon it appeared when her thoughts were in one course In the meanwhile she resolved against seeing Harriet It would do neither of them good it would do the subject no good to be talking of it farther She was resolved not to be convinced as long as she could doubt and yet had no authority for opposing Harriet 's confidence To talk would be only to irritate She wrote to her therefore kindly but decisively to beg that she would not at present come to Hartfield acknowledging it to be her conviction that all farther confidential discussion of one topic had better be avoided and hoping that if a few days were allowed to pass before they met again except in the company of others she objected only to a tete a tete they might be able to act as if they had forgotten the conversation of yesterday Harriet submitted and approved and was grateful {para} This point was just arranged when a visitor arrived to tear Emma 's thoughts a little from the one subject which had engrossed them sleeping or waking the last twenty four hours Mrs Weston who had been calling on her daughter in law elect and took Hartfield in her way home almost as much in duty to Emma as in pleasure to herself to relate all the particulars of so interesting an interview {para} Mr Weston had accompanied her to Mrs Bates 's and gone through his share of this essential attention most handsomely but she having then induced Miss Fairfax to join her in an airing was now returned with much more to say and much more to say with satisfaction than a quarter of an hour spent in Mrs Bates 's parlour with all the encumbrance of awkward feelings could have afforded {para} A little curiosity Emma had and she made the most of it while her friend related Mrs Weston had set off to pay the visit in a good deal of agitation herself and in the first place had wished not to go at all at present to be allowed merely to write to Miss Fairfax instead and to defer this ceremonious call till a little time had passed and Mr Churchill could be reconciled to the engagement 's becoming known as considering every thing she thought such a visit could not be paid without leading to reports but Mr Weston had thought differently he was extremely anxious to shew his approbation to Miss Fairfax and her family and did not conceive that any suspicion could be excited by it or if it were that it would be of any consequence for such things he observed always got about Emma smiled and felt that Mr Weston had very good reason for saying so They had gone in short and very great had been the evident distress and confusion of the lady She had hardly been able to speak a word and every look and action had shewn how deeply she was suffering from consciousness The quiet heart felt satisfaction of the old lady and the rapturous delight of her daughter who proved even too joyous to talk as usual had been a gratifying yet almost an affecting scene They were both so truly respectable in their happiness so disinterested in every sensation thought so much of Jane so much of every body and so little of themselves that every kindly feeling was at work for them Miss Fairfax 's recent illness had offered a fair plea for Mrs Weston to invite her to an airing she had drawn back and declined at first but on being pressed had yielded and in the course of their drive Mrs Weston had by gentle encouragement overcome so much of her embarrassment as to bring her to converse on the important subject Apologies for her seemingly ungracious silence in their first reception and the warmest expressions of the gratitude she was always feeling towards herself and Mr Weston must necessarily open the cause but when these effusions were put by they had talked a good deal of the present and of the future state of the engagement Mrs Weston was convinced that such conversation must be the greatest relief to her companion pent up within her own mind as every thing had so long been and was very much pleased with all that she had said on the subject {para} On the misery of what she had suffered during the concealment of so many months continued Mrs Weston she was energetic This was one of her expressions I will not say that since I entered into the engagement I have not had some happy moments but I can say that I have never known the blessing of one tranquil hour and the quivering lip Emma which uttered it was an attestation that I felt at my heart {para} Poor girl said Emma She thinks herself wrong then for having consented to a private engagement {para} Wrong No one I believe can blame her more than she is disposed to blame herself The consequence said she has been a state of perpetual suffering to me and so it ought But after all the punishment that misconduct can bring it is still not less misconduct Pain is no expiation I never can be blameless I have been acting contrary to all my sense of right and the fortunate turn that every thing has taken and the kindness I am now receiving is what my conscience tells me ought not to be Do not imagine madam she continued that I was taught wrong Do not let any reflection fall on the principles or the care of the friends who brought me up The error has been all my own and I do assure you that with all the excuse that present circumstances may appear to give I shall yet dread making the story known to Colonel Campbell {para} Poor girl said Emma again She loves him then excessively I suppose It must have been from attachment only that she could be led to form the engagement Her affection must have overpowered her judgment {para} Yes I have no doubt of her being extremely attached to him {para} I am afraid returned Emma sighing that I must often have contributed to make her unhappy {para} On your side my love it was very innocently done But she probably had something of that in her thoughts when alluding to the misunderstandings which he had given us hints of before One natural consequence of the evil she had involved herself in she said was that of making her unreasonable The consciousness of having done amiss had exposed her to a thousand inquietudes and made her captious and irritable to a degree that must have been that had been hard for him to bear I did not make the allowances said she which I ought to have done for his temper and spirits his delightful spirits and that gaiety that playfulness of disposition which under any other circumstances would I am sure have been as constantly bewitching to me as they were at first She then began to speak of you and of the great kindness you had shewn her during her illness and with a blush which shewed me how it was all connected desired me whenever I had an opportunity to thank you I could not thank you too much for every wish and every endeavour to do her good She was sensible that you had never received any proper acknowledgment from herself {para} If I did not know her to be happy now said Emma seriously which in spite of every little drawback from her scrupulous conscience she must be I could not bear these thanks for oh Mrs Weston if there were an account drawn up of the evil and the good I have done Miss Fairfax Well checking herself and trying to be more lively this is all to be forgotten You are very kind to bring me these interesting particulars They shew her to the greatest advantage I am sure she is very good I hope she will be very happy It is fit that the fortune should be on his side for I think the merit will be all on hers {para} Such a conclusion could not pass unanswered by Mrs Weston She thought well of Frank in almost every respect and what was more she loved him very much and her defence was therefore earnest She talked with a great deal of reason and at least equal affection but she had too much to urge for Emma 's attention it was soon gone to Brunswick Square or to Donwell she forgot to attempt to listen and when Mrs Weston ended with We have not yet had the letter we are so anxious for you know but I hope it will soon come she was obliged to pause before she answered and at last obliged to answer at random before she could at all recollect what letter it was which they were so anxious for {para} Are you well my Emma was Mrs Weston 's parting question {para} Oh perfectly I am always well you know Be sure to give me intelligence of the letter as soon as possible {para} Mrs Weston 's communications furnished Emma with more food for unpleasant reflection by increasing her esteem and compassion and her sense of past injustice towards Miss Fairfax She bitterly regretted not having sought a closer acquaintance with her and blushed for the envious feelings which had certainly been in some measure the cause Had she followed Mr Knightley 's known wishes in paying that attention to Miss Fairfax which was every way her due had she tried to know her better had she done her part towards intimacy had she endeavoured to find a friend there instead of in Harriet Smith she must in all probability have been spared from every pain which pressed on her now Birth abilities and education had been equally marking one as an associate for her to be received with gratitude and the other what was she Supposing even that they had never become intimate friends that she had never been admitted into Miss Fairfax 's confidence on this important matter which was most probable still in knowing her as she ought and as she might she must have been preserved from the abominable suspicions of an improper attachment to Mr Dixon which she had not only so foolishly fashioned and harboured herself but had so unpardonably imparted an idea which she greatly feared had been made a subject of material distress to the delicacy of Jane 's feelings by the levity or carelessness of Frank Churchill 's Of all the sources of evil surrounding the former since her coming to Highbury she was persuaded that she must herself have been the worst She must have been a perpetual enemy They never could have been all three together without her having stabbed Jane Fairfax 's peace in a thousand instances and on Box Hill perhaps it had been the agony of a mind that would bear no more {para} The evening of this day was very long and melancholy at Hartfield The weather added what it could of gloom A cold stormy rain set in and nothing of July appeared but in the trees and shrubs which the wind was despoiling and the length of the day which only made such cruel sights the longer visible {para} The weather affected Mr Woodhouse and he could only be kept tolerably comfortable by almost ceaseless attention on his daughter 's side and by exertions which had never cost her half so much before It reminded her of their first forlorn tete a tete on the evening of Mrs Weston 's wedding day but Mr Knightley had walked in then soon after tea and dissipated every melancholy fancy Alas such delightful proofs of Hartfield 's attraction as those sort of visits conveyed might shortly be over The picture which she had then drawn of the privations of the approaching winter had proved erroneous no friends had deserted them no pleasures had been lost But her present forebodings she feared would experience no similar contradiction The prospect before her now was threatening to a degree that could not be entirely dispelled that might not be even partially brightened If all took place that might take place among the circle of her friends Hartfield must be comparatively deserted and she left to cheer her father with the spirits only of ruined happiness {para} The child to be born at Randalls must be a tie there even dearer than herself and Mrs Weston 's heart and time would be occupied by it They should lose her and probably in great measure her husband also Frank Churchill would return among them no more and Miss Fairfax it was reasonable to suppose would soon cease to belong to Highbury They would be married and settled either at or near Enscombe All that were good would be withdrawn and if to these losses the loss of Donwell were to be added what would remain of cheerful or of rational society within their reach Mr Knightley to be no longer coming there for his evening comfort No longer walking in at all hours as if ever willing to change his own home for their 's How was it to be endured And if he were to be lost to them for Harriet 's sake if he were to be thought of hereafter as finding in Harriet 's society all that he wanted if Harriet were to be the chosen the first the dearest the friend the wife to whom he looked for all the best blessings of existence what could be increasing Emma 's wretchedness but the reflection never far distant from her mind that it had been all her own work {para} When it came to such a pitch as this she was not able to refrain from a start or a heavy sigh or even from walking about the room for a few seconds and the only source whence any thing like consolation or composure could be drawn was in the resolution of her own better conduct and the hope that however inferior in spirit and gaiety might be the following and every future winter of her life to the past it would yet find her more rational more acquainted with herself and leave her less to regret when it were gone {para} CHAPTER XIII {para} The weather continued much the same all the following morning and the same loneliness and the same melancholy seemed to reign at Hartfield but in the afternoon it cleared the wind changed into a softer quarter the clouds were carried off the sun appeared it was summer again With all the eagerness which such a transition gives Emma resolved to be out of doors as soon as possible Never had the exquisite sight smell sensation of nature tranquil warm and brilliant after a storm been more attractive to her She longed for the serenity they might gradually introduce and on Mr Perry 's coming in soon after dinner with a disengaged hour to give her father she lost no time ill hurrying into the shrubbery There with spirits freshened and thoughts a little relieved she had taken a few turns when she saw Mr Knightley passing through the garden door and coming towards her It was the first intimation of his being returned from London She had been thinking of him the moment before as unquestionably sixteen miles distant There was time only for the quickest arrangement of mind She must be collected and calm In half a minute they were together The How d'ye do 's were quiet and constrained on each side She asked after their mutual friends they were all well When had he left them Only that morning He must have had a wet ride Yes He meant to walk with her she found He had just looked into the dining room and as he was not wanted there preferred being out of doors She thought he neither looked nor spoke cheerfully and the first possible cause for it suggested by her fears was that he had perhaps been communicating his plans to his brother and was pained by the manner in which they had been received {para} They walked together He was silent She thought he was often looking at her and trying for a fuller view of her face than it suited her to give And this belief produced another dread Perhaps he wanted to speak to her of his attachment to Harriet he might be watching for encouragement to begin She did not could not feel equal to lead the way to any such subject He must do it all himself Yet she could not bear this silence With him it was most unnatural She considered resolved and trying to smile began {para} You have some news to hear now you are come back that will rather surprize you {para} Have I said he quietly and looking at her of what nature {para} Oh the best nature in the world a wedding {para} After waiting a moment as if to be sure she intended to say no more he replied {para} If you mean Miss Fairfax and Frank Churchill I have heard that already {para} How is it possible cried Emma turning her glowing cheeks towards him for while she spoke it occurred to her that he might have called at Mrs Goddard 's in his way {para} I had a few lines on parish business from Mr Weston this morning and at the end of them he gave me a brief account of what had happened {para} Emma was quite relieved and could presently say with a little more composure {para} You probably have been less surprized than any of us for you have had your suspicions I have not forgotten that you once tried to give me a caution I wish I had attended to it but with a sinking voice and a heavy sigh I seem to have been doomed to blindness {para} For a moment or two nothing was said and she was unsuspicious of having excited any particular interest till she found her arm drawn within his and pressed against his heart and heard him thus saying in a tone of great sensibility speaking low {para} Time my dearest Emma time will heal the wound Your own excellent sense your exertions for your father 's sake I know you will not allow yourself Her arm was pressed again as he added in a more broken and subdued accent The feelings of the warmest friendship Indignation Abominable scoundrel And in a louder steadier tone he concluded with He will soon be gone They will soon be in Yorkshire I am sorry for her She deserves a better fate {para} Emma understood him and as soon as she could recover from the flutter of pleasure excited by such tender consideration replied {para} You are very kind but you are mistaken and I must set you right I am not in want of that sort of compassion My blindness to what was going on led me to act by them in a way that I must always be ashamed of and I was very foolishly tempted to say and do many things which may well lay me open to unpleasant conjectures but I have no other reason to regret that I was not in the secret earlier {para} Emma cried he looking eagerly at her are you indeed but checking himself No no I understand you forgive me I am pleased that you can say even so much He is no object of regret indeed and it will not be very long I hope before that becomes the acknowledgment of more than your reason Fortunate that your affections were not farther entangled I could never I confess from your manners assure myself as to the degree of what you felt I could only be certain that there was a preference and a preference which I never believed him to deserve He is a disgrace to the name of man And is he to be rewarded with that sweet young woman Jane Jane you will be a miserable creature {para} Mr Knightley said Emma trying to be lively but really confused I am in a very extraordinary situation I cannot let you continue in your error and yet perhaps since my manners gave such an impression I have as much reason to be ashamed of confessing that I never have been at all attached to the person we are speaking of as it might be natural for a woman to feel in confessing exactly the reverse But I never have {para} He listened in perfect silence She wished him to speak but he would not She supposed she must say more before she were entitled to his clemency but it was a hard case to be obliged still to lower herself in his opinion She went on however {para} I have very little to say for my own conduct I was tempted by his attentions and allowed myself to appear pleased An old story probably a common case and no more than has happened to hundreds of my sex before and yet it may not be the more excusable in one who sets up as I do for Understanding Many circumstances assisted the temptation He was the son of Mr Weston he was continually here I always found him very pleasant and in short for with a sigh let me swell out the causes ever so ingeniously they all centre in this at last my vanity was flattered and I allowed his attentions Latterly however for some time indeed I have had no idea of their meaning any thing I thought them a habit a trick nothing that called for seriousness on my side He has imposed on me but he has not injured me I have never been attached to him And now I can tolerably comprehend his behaviour He never wished to attach me It was merely a blind to conceal his real situation with another It was his object to blind all about him and no one I am sure could be more effectually blinded than myself except that I was not blinded that it was my good fortune that in short I was somehow or other safe from him {para} She had hoped for an answer here for a few words to say that her conduct was at least intelligible but he was silent and as far as she could judge deep in thought At last and tolerably in his usual tone he said {para} I have never had a high opinion of Frank Churchill I can suppose however that I may have underrated him My acquaintance with him has been but trifling And even if I have not underrated him hitherto he may yet turn out well With such a woman he has a chance I have no motive for wishing him ill and for her sake whose happiness will be involved in his good character and conduct I shall certainly wish him well {para} I have no doubt of their being happy together said Emma I believe them to be very mutually and very sincerely attached {para} He is a most fortunate man returned Mr Knightley with energy So early in life at three and twenty a period when if a man chuses a wife he generally chuses ill At three and twenty to have drawn such a prize What years of felicity that man in all human calculation has before him Assured of the love of such a woman the disinterested love for Jane Fairfax 's character vouches for her disinterestedness every thing in his favour equality of situation I mean as far as regards society and all the habits and manners that are important equality in every point but one and that one since the purity of her heart is not to be doubted such as must increase his felicity for it will be his to bestow the only advantages she wants A man would always wish to give a woman a better home than the one he takes her from and he who can do it where there is no doubt of her regard must I think be the happiest of mortals Frank Churchill is indeed the favourite of fortune Every thing turns out for his good He meets with a young woman at a watering place gains her affection cannot even weary her by negligent treatment and had he and all his family sought round the world for a perfect wife for him they could not have found her superior His aunt is in the way His aunt dies He has only to speak His friends are eager to promote his happiness He had used every body ill and they are all delighted to forgive him He is a fortunate man indeed {para} You speak as if you envied him {para} And I do envy him Emma In one respect he is the object of my envy {para} Emma could say no more They seemed to be within half a sentence of Harriet and her immediate feeling was to avert the subject if possible She made her plan she would speak of something totally different the children in Brunswick Square and she only waited for breath to begin when Mr Knightley startled her by saying {para} You will not ask me what is the point of envy You are determined I see to have no curiosity You are wise but I cannot be wise Emma I must tell you what you will not ask though I may wish it unsaid the next moment {para} Oh then don't speak it don't speak it she eagerly cried Take a little time consider do not commit yourself {para} Thank you said he in an accent of deep mortification and not another syllable followed {para} Emma could not bear to give him pain He was wishing to confide in her perhaps to consult her cost her what it would she would listen She might assist his resolution or reconcile him to it she might give just praise to Harriet or by representing to him his own independence relieve him from that state of indecision which must be more intolerable than any alternative to such a mind as his They had reached the house {para} You are going in I suppose said he {para} No replied Emma quite confirmed by the depressed manner in which he still spoke I should like to take another turn Mr Perry is not gone And after proceeding a few steps she added I stopped you ungraciously just now Mr Knightley and I am afraid gave you pain But if you have any wish to speak openly to me as a friend or to ask my opinion of any thing that you may have in contemplation as a friend indeed you may command me I will hear whatever you like I will tell you exactly what I think {para} As a friend repeated Mr Knightley Emma that I fear is a word No I have no wish Stay yes why should I hesitate I have gone too far already for concealment Emma I accept your offer Extraordinary as it may seem I accept it and refer myself to you as a friend Tell me then have I no chance of ever succeeding {para} He stopped in his earnestness to look the question and the expression of his eyes overpowered her {para} My dearest Emma said he for dearest you will always be whatever the event of this hour 's conversation my dearest most beloved Emma tell me at once Say No if it is to be said She could really say nothing You are silent he cried with great animation absolutely silent at present I ask no more {para} Emma was almost ready to sink under the agitation of this moment The dread of being awakened from the happiest dream was perhaps the most prominent feeling {para} I cannot make speeches Emma he soon resumed and in a tone of such sincere decided intelligible tenderness as was tolerably convincing If I loved you less I might be able to talk about it more But you know what I am You hear nothing but truth from me I have blamed you and lectured you and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it Bear with the truths I would tell you now dearest Emma as well as you have borne with them The manner perhaps may have as little to recommend them God knows I have been a very indifferent lover But you understand me Yes you see you understand my feelings and will return them if you can At present I ask only to hear once to hear your voice {para} While he spoke Emma 's mind was most busy and with all the wonderful velocity of thought had been able and yet without losing a word to catch and comprehend the exact truth of the whole to see that Harriet 's hopes had been entirely groundless a mistake a delusion as complete a delusion as any of her own that Harriet was nothing that she was every thing herself that what she had been saying relative to Harriet had been all taken as the language of her own feelings and that her agitation her doubts her reluctance her discouragement had been all received as discouragement from herself And not only was there time for these convictions with all their glow of attendant happiness there was time also to rejoice that Harriet 's secret had not escaped her and to resolve that it need not and should not It was all the service she could now render her poor friend for as to any of that heroism of sentiment which might have prompted her to entreat him to transfer his affection from herself to Harriet as infinitely the most worthy of the two or even the more simple sublimity of resolving to refuse him at once and for ever without vouchsafing any motive because he could not marry them both Emma had it not She felt for Harriet with pain and with contrition but no flight of generosity run mad opposing all that could be probable or reasonable entered her brain She had led her friend astray and it would be a reproach to her for ever but her judgment was as strong as her feelings and as strong as it had ever been before in reprobating any such alliance for him as most unequal and degrading Her way was clear though not quite smooth She spoke then on being so entreated What did she say Just what she ought of course A lady always does She said enough to shew there need not be despair and to invite him to say more himself He had despaired at one period he had received such an injunction to caution and silence as for the time crushed every hope she had begun by refusing to hear him The change had perhaps been somewhat sudden her proposal of taking another turn her renewing the conversation which she had just put an end to might be a little extraordinary She felt its inconsistency but Mr Knightley was so obliging as to put up with it and seek no farther explanation {para} Seldom very seldom does complete truth belong to any human disclosure seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken but where as in this case though the conduct is mistaken the feelings are not it may not be very material Mr Knightley could not impute to Emma a more relenting heart than she possessed or a heart more disposed to accept of his {para} He had in fact been wholly unsuspicious of his own influence He had followed her into the shrubbery with no idea of trying it He had come in his anxiety to see how she bore Frank Churchill 's engagement with no selfish view no view at all but of endeavouring if she allowed him an opening to soothe or to counsel her The rest had been the work of the moment the immediate effect of what he heard on his feelings The delightful assurance of her total indifference towards Frank Churchill of her having a heart completely disengaged from him had given birth to the hope that in time he might gain her affection himself but it had been no present hope he had only in the momentary conquest of eagerness over judgment aspired to be told that she did not forbid his attempt to attach her The superior hopes which gradually opened were so much the more enchanting The affection which he had been asking to be allowed to create if he could was already his Within half an hour he had passed from a thoroughly distressed state of mind to something so like perfect happiness that it could bear no other name {para} Her change was equal This one half hour had given to each the same precious certainty of being beloved had cleared from each the same degree of ignorance jealousy or distrust On his side there had been a long standing jealousy old as the arrival or even the expectation of Frank Churchill He had been in love with Emma and jealous of Frank Churchill from about the same period one sentiment having probably enlightened him as to the other It was his jealousy of Frank Churchill that had taken him from the country The Box Hill party had decided him on going away He would save himself from witnessing again such permitted encouraged attentions He had gone to learn to be indifferent But he had gone to a wrong place There was too much domestic happiness in his brother 's house woman wore too amiable a form in it Isabella was too much like Emma differing only in those striking inferiorities which always brought the other in brilliancy before him for much to have been done even had his time been longer He had stayed on however vigorously day after day till this very morning 's post had conveyed the history of Jane Fairfax Then with the gladness which must be felt nay which he did not scruple to feel having never believed Frank Churchill to be at all deserving Emma was there so much fond solicitude so much keen anxiety for her that he could stay no longer He had ridden home through the rain and had walked up directly after dinner to see how this sweetest and best of all creatures faultless in spite of all her faults bore the discovery {para} He had found her agitated and low Frank Churchill was a villain He heard her declare that she had never loved him Frank Churchill 's character was not desperate She was his own Emma by hand and word when they returned into the house and if he could have thought of Frank Churchill then he might have deemed him a very good sort of fellow {para} CHAPTER XIV {para} What totally different feelings did Emma take back into the house from what she had brought out she had then been only daring to hope for a little respite of suffering she was now in an exquisite flutter of happiness and such happiness moreover as she believed must still be greater when the flutter should have passed away {para} They sat down to tea the same party round the same table how often it had been collected and how often had her eyes fallen on the same shrubs in the lawn and observed the same beautiful effect of the western sun But never in such a state of spirits never in any thing like it and it was with difficulty that she could summon enough of her usual self to be the attentive lady of the house or even the attentive daughter {para} Poor Mr Woodhouse little suspected what was plotting against him in the breast of that man whom he was so cordially welcoming and so anxiously hoping might not have taken cold from his ride Could he have seen the heart he would have cared very little for the lungs but without the most distant imagination of the impending evil without the slightest perception of any thing extraordinary in the looks or ways of either he repeated to them very comfortably all the articles of news he had received from Mr Perry and talked on with much self contentment totally unsuspicious of what they could have told him in return {para} As long as Mr Knightley remained with them Emma 's fever continued but when he was gone she began to be a little tranquillised and subdued and in the course of the sleepless night which was the tax for such an evening she found one or two such very serious points to consider as made her feel that even her happiness must have some alloy Her father and Harriet She could not be alone without feeling the full weight of their separate claims and how to guard the comfort of both to the utmost was the question With respect to her father it was a question soon answered She hardly knew yet what Mr Knightley would ask but a very short parley with her own heart produced the most solemn resolution of never quitting her father She even wept over the idea of it as a sin of thought While he lived it must be only an engagement but she flattered herself that if divested of the danger of drawing her away it might become an increase of comfort to him How to do her best by Harriet was of more difficult decision how to spare her from any unnecessary pain how to make her any possible atonement how to appear least her enemy On these subjects her perplexity and distress were very great and her mind had to pass again and again through every bitter reproach and sorrowful regret that had ever surrounded it She could only resolve at last that she would still avoid a meeting with her and communicate all that need be told by letter that it would be inexpressibly desirable to have her removed just now for a time from Highbury and indulging in one scheme more nearly resolve that it might be practicable to get an invitation for her to Brunswick Square Isabella had been pleased with Harriet and a few weeks spent in London must give her some amusement She did not think it in Harriet 's nature to escape being benefited by novelty and variety by the streets the shops and the children At any rate it would be a proof of attention and kindness in herself from whom every thing was due a separation for the present an averting of the evil day when they must all be together again {para} She rose early and wrote her letter to Harriet an employment which left her so very serious so nearly sad that Mr Knightley in walking up to Hartfield to breakfast did not arrive at all too soon and half an hour stolen afterwards to go over the same ground again with him literally and figuratively was quite necessary to reinstate her in a proper share of the happiness of the evening before {para} He had not left her long by no means long enough for her to have the slightest inclination for thinking of any body else when a letter was brought her from Randalls a very thick letter she guessed what it must contain and deprecated the necessity of reading it She was now in perfect charity with Frank Churchill she wanted no explanations she wanted only to have her thoughts to herself and as for understanding any thing he wrote she was sure she was incapable of it It must be waded through however She opened the packet it was too surely so a note from Mrs Weston to herself ushered in the letter from Frank to Mrs Weston {para} I have the greatest pleasure my dear Emma in forwarding to you the enclosed I know what thorough justice you will do it and have scarcely a doubt of its happy effect I think we shall never materially disagree about the writer again but I will not delay you by a long preface We are quite well This letter has been the cure of all the little nervousness I have been feeling lately I did not quite like your looks on Tuesday but it was an ungenial morning and though you will never own being affected by weather I think every body feels a north east wind I felt for your dear father very much in the storm of Tuesday afternoon and yesterday morning but had the comfort of hearing last night by Mr Perry that it had not made him ill Yours ever A W {para} [ To Mrs Weston ] WINDSOR JULY MY DEAR MADAM {para} If I made myself intelligible yesterday this letter will be expected but expected or not I know it will be read with candour and indulgence You are all goodness and I believe there will be need of even all your goodness to allow for some parts of my past conduct But I have been forgiven by one who had still more to resent My courage rises while I write It is very difficult for the prosperous to be humble I have already met with such success in two applications for pardon that I may be in danger of thinking myself too sure of yours and of those among your friends who have had any ground of offence You must all endeavour to comprehend the exact nature of my situation when I first arrived at Randalls you must consider me as having a secret which was to be kept at all hazards This was the fact My right to place myself in a situation requiring such concealment is another question I shall not discuss it here For my temptation to think it a right I refer every caviller to a brick house sashed windows below and casements above in Highbury I dared not address her openly my difficulties in the then state of Enscombe must be too well known to require definition and I was fortunate enough to prevail before we parted at Weymouth and to induce the most upright female mind in the creation to stoop in charity to a secret engagement Had she refused I should have gone mad But you will be ready to say what was your hope in doing this What did you look forward to To any thing every thing to time chance circumstance slow effects sudden bursts perseverance and weariness health and sickness Every possibility of good was before me and the first of blessings secured in obtaining her promises of faith and correspondence If you need farther explanation I have the honour my dear madam of being your husband 's son and the advantage of inheriting a disposition to hope for good which no inheritance of houses or lands can ever equal the value of See me then under these circumstances arriving on my first visit to Randalls and here I am conscious of wrong for that visit might have been sooner paid You will look back and see that I did not come till Miss Fairfax was in Highbury and as you were the person slighted you will forgive me instantly but I must work on my father 's compassion by reminding him that so long as I absented myself from his house so long I lost the blessing of knowing you My behaviour during the very happy fortnight which I spent with you did not I hope lay me open to reprehension excepting on one point And now I come to the principal the only important part of my conduct while belonging to you which excites my own anxiety or requires very solicitous explanation With the greatest respect and the warmest friendship do I mention Miss Woodhouse my father perhaps will think I ought to add with the deepest humiliation A few words which dropped from him yesterday spoke his opinion and some censure I acknowledge myself liable to My behaviour to Miss Woodhouse indicated I believe more than it ought In order to assist a concealment so essential to me I was led on to make more than an allowable use of the sort of intimacy into which we were immediately thrown I cannot deny that Miss Woodhouse was my ostensible object but I am sure you will believe the declaration that had I not been convinced of her indifference I would not have been induced by any selfish views to go on Amiable and delightful as Miss Woodhouse is she never gave me the idea of a young woman likely to be attached and that she was perfectly free from any tendency to being attached to me was as much my conviction as my wish She received my attentions with an easy friendly goodhumoured playfulness which exactly suited me We seemed to understand each other From our relative situation those attentions were her due and were felt to be so Whether Miss Woodhouse began really to understand me before the expiration of that fortnight I cannot say when I called to take leave of her I remember that I was within a moment of confessing the truth and I then fancied she was not without suspicion but I have no doubt of her having since detected me at least in some degree She may not have surmised the whole but her quickness must have penetrated a part I cannot doubt it You will find whenever the subject becomes freed from its present restraints that it did not take her wholly by surprize She frequently gave me hints of it I remember her telling me at the ball that I owed Mrs Elton gratitude for her attentions to Miss Fairfax I hope this history of my conduct towards her will be admitted by you and my father as great extenuation of what you saw amiss While you considered me as having sinned against Emma Woodhouse I could deserve nothing from either Acquit me here and procure for me when it is allowable the acquittal and good wishes of that said Emma Woodhouse whom I regard with so much brotherly affection as to long to have her as deeply and as happily in love as myself Whatever strange things I said or did during that fortnight you have now a key to My heart was in Highbury and my business was to get my body thither as often as might be and with the least suspicion If you remember any queernesses set them all to the right account Of the pianoforte so much talked of I feel it only necessary to say that its being ordered was absolutely unknown to Miss F who would never have allowed me to send it had any choice been given her The delicacy of her mind throughout the whole engagement my dear madam is much beyond my power of doing justice to You will soon I earnestly hope know her thoroughly yourself No description can describe her She must tell you herself what she is yet not by word for never was there a human creature who would so designedly suppress her own merit Since I began this letter which will be longer than I foresaw I have heard from her She gives a good account of her own health but as she never complains I dare not depend I want to have your opinion of her looks I know you will soon call on her she is living in dread of the visit Perhaps it is paid already Let me hear from you without delay I am impatient for a thousand particulars Remember how few minutes I was at Randalls and in how bewildered how mad a state and I am not much better yet still insane either from happiness or misery When I think of the kindness and favour I have met with of her excellence and patience and my uncle 's generosity I am mad with joy but when I recollect all the uneasiness I occasioned her and how little I deserve to be forgiven I am mad with anger If I could but see her again But I must not propose it yet My uncle has been too good for me to encroach I must still add to this long letter You have not heard all that you ought to hear I could not give any connected detail yesterday but the suddenness and in one light the unseasonableness with which the affair burst out needs explanation for though the event of the 26th ult as you will conclude immediately opened to me the happiest prospects I should not have presumed on such early measures but from the very particular circumstances which left me not an hour to lose I should myself have shrunk from any thing so hasty and she would have felt every scruple of mine with multiplied strength and refinement But I had no choice The hasty engagement she had entered into with that woman Here my dear madam I was obliged to leave off abruptly to recollect and compose myself I have been walking over the country and am now I hope rational enough to make the rest of my letter what it ought to be It is in fact a most mortifying retrospect for me I behaved shamefully And here I can admit that my manners to Miss W in being unpleasant to Miss F were highly blameable She disapproved them which ought to have been enough My plea of concealing the truth she did not think sufficient She was displeased I thought unreasonably so I thought her on a thousand occasions unnecessarily scrupulous and cautious I thought her even cold But she was always right If I had followed her judgment and subdued my spirits to the level of what she deemed proper I should have escaped the greatest unhappiness I have ever known We quarrelled Do you remember the morning spent at Donwell There every little dissatisfaction that had occurred before came to a crisis I was late I met her walking home by herself and wanted to walk with her but she would not suffer it She absolutely refused to allow me which I then thought most unreasonable Now however I see nothing in it but a very natural and consistent degree of discretion While I to blind the world to our engagement was behaving one hour with objectionable particularity to another woman was she to be consenting the next to a proposal which might have made every previous caution useless Had we been met walking together between Donwell and Highbury the truth must have been suspected I was mad enough however to resent I doubted her affection I doubted it more the next day on Box Hill when provoked by such conduct on my side such shameful insolent neglect of her and such apparent devotion to Miss W as it would have been impossible for any woman of sense to endure she spoke her resentment in a form of words perfectly intelligible to me In short my dear madam it was a quarrel blameless on her side abominable on mine and I returned the same evening to Richmond though I might have staid with you till the next morning merely because I would be as angry with her as possible Even then I was not such a fool as not to mean to be reconciled in time but I was the injured person injured by her coldness and I went away determined that she should make the first advances I shall always congratulate myself that you were not of the Box Hill party Had you witnessed my behaviour there I can hardly suppose you would ever have thought well of me again Its effect upon her appears in the immediate resolution it produced as soon as she found I was really gone from Randalls she closed with the offer of that officious Mrs Elton the whole system of whose treatment of her by the bye has ever filled me with indignation and hatred I must not quarrel with a spirit of forbearance which has been so richly extended towards myself but otherwise I should loudly protest against the share of it which that woman has known Jane indeed You will observe that I have not yet indulged myself in calling her by that name even to you Think then what I must have endured in hearing it bandied between the Eltons with all the vulgarity of needless repetition and all the insolence of imaginary superiority Have patience with me I shall soon have done She closed with this offer resolving to break with me entirely and wrote the next day to tell me that we never were to meet again She felt the engagement to be a source of repentance and misery to each she dissolved it This letter reached me on the very morning of my poor aunt 's death I answered it within an hour but from the confusion of my mind and the multiplicity of business falling on me at once my answer instead of being sent with all the many other letters of that day was locked up in my writing desk and I trusting that I had written enough though but a few lines to satisfy her remained without any uneasiness I was rather disappointed that I did not hear from her again speedily but I made excuses for her and was too busy and may I add too cheerful in my views to be captious We removed to Windsor and two days afterwards I received a parcel from her my own letters all returned and a few lines at the same time by the post stating her extreme surprize at not having had the smallest reply to her last and adding that as silence on such a point could not be misconstrued and as it must be equally desirable to both to have every subordinate arrangement concluded as soon as possible she now sent me by a safe conveyance all my letters and requested that if I could not directly command hers so as to send them to Highbury within a week I would forward them after that period to her at in short the full direction to Mr Smallridge 's near Bristol stared me in the face I knew the name the place I knew all about it and instantly saw what she had been doing It was perfectly accordant with that resolution of character which I knew her to possess and the secrecy she had maintained as to any such design in her former letter was equally descriptive of its anxious delicacy For the world would not she have seemed to threaten me Imagine the shock imagine how till I had actually detected my own blunder I raved at the blunders of the post What was to be done One thing only I must speak to my uncle Without his sanction I could not hope to be listened to again I spoke circumstances were in my favour the late event had softened away his pride and he was earlier than I could have anticipated wholly reconciled and complying and could say at last poor man with a deep sigh that he wished I might find as much happiness in the marriage state as he had done I felt that it would be of a different sort Are you disposed to pity me for what I must have suffered in opening the cause to him for my suspense while all was at stake No do not pity me till I reached Highbury and saw how ill I had made her Do not pity me till I saw her wan sick looks I reached Highbury at the time of day when from my knowledge of their late breakfast hour I was certain of a good chance of finding her alone I was not disappointed and at last I was not disappointed either in the object of my journey A great deal of very reasonable very just displeasure I had to persuade away But it is done we are reconciled dearer much dearer than ever and no moment 's uneasiness can ever occur between us again Now my dear madam I will release you but I could not conclude before A thousand and a thousand thanks for all the kindness you have ever shewn me and ten thousand for the attentions your heart will dictate towards her If you think me in a way to be happier than I deserve I am quite of your opinion Miss W calls me the child of good fortune I hope she is right In one respect my good fortune is undoubted that of being able to subscribe myself Your obliged and affectionate Son F C WESTON CHURCHILL {para} CHAPTER XV {para} This letter must make its way to Emma 's feelings She was obliged in spite of her previous determination to the contrary to do it all the justice that Mrs Weston foretold As soon as she came to her own name it was irresistible every line relating to herself was interesting and almost every line agreeable and when this charm ceased the subject could still maintain itself by the natural return of her former regard for the writer and the very strong attraction which any picture of love must have for her at that moment She never stopt till she had gone through the whole and though it was impossible not to feel that he had been wrong yet he had been less wrong than she had supposed and he had suffered and was very sorry and he was so grateful to Mrs Weston and so much in love with Miss Fairfax and she was so happy herself that there was no being severe and could he have entered the room she must have shaken hands with him as heartily as ever {para} She thought so well of the letter that when Mr Knightley came again she desired him to read it She was sure of Mrs Weston 's wishing it to be communicated especially to one who like Mr Knightley had seen so much to blame in his conduct {para} I shall be very glad to look it over said he but it seems long I will take it home with me at night {para} But that would not do Mr Weston was to call in the evening and she must return it by him {para} I would rather be talking to you he replied but as it seems a matter of justice it shall be done {para} He began stopping however almost directly to say Had I been offered the sight of one of this gentleman 's letters to his mother in law a few months ago Emma it would not have been taken with such indifference {para} He proceeded a little farther reading to himself and then with a smile observed Humph a fine complimentary opening But it is his way One man 's style must not be the rule of another 's We will not be severe {para} It will be natural for me he added shortly afterwards to speak my opinion aloud as I read By doing it I shall feel that I am near you It will not be so great a loss of time but if you dislike it {para} Not at all I should wish it {para} Mr Knightley returned to his reading with greater alacrity {para} He trifles here said he as to the temptation He knows he is wrong and has nothing rational to urge Bad He ought not to have formed the engagement His father 's disposition he is unjust however to his father Mr Weston 's sanguine temper was a blessing on all his upright and honourable exertions but Mr Weston earned every present comfort before he endeavoured to gain it Very true he did not come till Miss Fairfax was here {para} And I have not forgotten said Emma how sure you were that he might have come sooner if he would You pass it over very handsomely but you were perfectly right {para} I was not quite impartial in my judgment Emma but yet I think had you not been in the case I should still have distrusted him {para} When he came to Miss Woodhouse he was obliged to read the whole of it aloud all that related to her with a smile a look a shake of the head a word or two of assent or disapprobation or merely of love as the subject required concluding however seriously and after steady reflection thus {para} Very bad though it might have been worse Playing a most dangerous game Too much indebted to the event for his acquittal No judge of his own manners by you Always deceived in fact by his own wishes and regardless of little besides his own convenience Fancying you to have fathomed his secret Natural enough his own mind full of intrigue that he should suspect it in others Mystery Finesse how they pervert the understanding My Emma does not every thing serve to prove more and more the beauty of truth and sincerity in all our dealings with each other {para} Emma agreed to it and with a blush of sensibility on Harriet 's account which she could not give any sincere explanation of {para} You had better go on said she {para} He did so but very soon stopt again to say the pianoforte Ah That was the act of a very very young man one too young to consider whether the inconvenience of it might not very much exceed the pleasure A boyish scheme indeed I cannot comprehend a man 's wishing to give a woman any proof of affection which he knows she would rather dispense with and he did know that she would have prevented the instrument 's coming if she could {para} After this he made some progress without any pause Frank Churchill 's confession of having behaved shamefully was the first thing to call for more than a word in passing {para} I perfectly agree with you sir was then his remark You did behave very shamefully You never wrote a truer line And having gone through what immediately followed of the basis of their disagreement and his persisting to act in direct opposition to Jane Fairfax 's sense of right he made a fuller pause to say This is very bad He had induced her to place herself for his sake in a situation of extreme difficulty and uneasiness and it should have been his first object to prevent her from suffering unnecessarily She must have had much more to contend with in carrying on the correspondence than he could He should have respected even unreasonable scruples had there been such but hers were all reasonable We must look to her one fault and remember that she had done a wrong thing in consenting to the engagement to bear that she should have been in such a state of punishment {para} Emma knew that he was now getting to the Box Hill party and grew uncomfortable Her own behaviour had been so very improper She was deeply ashamed and a little afraid of his next look It was all read however steadily attentively and without the smallest remark and excepting one momentary glance at her instantly withdrawn in the fear of giving pain no remembrance of Box Hill seemed to exist {para} There is no saying much for the delicacy of our good friends the Eltons was his next observation His feelings are natural What actually resolve to break with him entirely She felt the engagement to be a source of repentance and misery to each she dissolved it What a view this gives of her sense of his behaviour Well he must be a most extraordinary {para} Nay nay read on You will find how very much he suffers {para} I hope he does replied Mr Knightley coolly and resuming the letter Smallridge What does this mean What is all this {para} She had engaged to go as governess to Mrs Smallridge 's children a dear friend of Mrs Elton 's a neighbour of Maple Grove and by the bye I wonder how Mrs Elton bears the disappointment {para} Say nothing my dear Emma while you oblige me to read not even of Mrs Elton Only one page more I shall soon have done What a letter the man writes {para} I wish you would read it with a kinder spirit towards him {para} Well there is feeling here He does seem to have suffered in finding her ill Certainly I can have no doubt of his being fond of her Dearer much dearer than ever I hope he may long continue to feel all the value of such a reconciliation He is a very liberal thanker with his thousands and tens of thousands Happier than I deserve Come he knows himself there Miss Woodhouse calls me the child of good fortune Those were Miss Woodhouse 's words were they And a fine ending and there is the letter The child of good fortune That was your name for him was it {para} You do not appear so well satisfied with his letter as I am but still you must at least I hope you must think the better of him for it I hope it does him some service with you {para} Yes certainly it does He has had great faults faults of inconsideration and thoughtlessness and I am very much of his opinion in thinking him likely to be happier than he deserves but still as he is beyond a doubt really attached to Miss Fairfax and will soon it may be hoped have the advantage of being constantly with her I am very ready to believe his character will improve and acquire from hers the steadiness and delicacy of principle that it wants And now let me talk to you of something else I have another person 's interest at present so much at heart that I cannot think any longer about Frank Churchill Ever since I left you this morning Emma my mind has been hard at work on one subject {para} The subject followed it was in plain unaffected gentlemanlike English such as Mr Knightley used even to the woman he was in love with how to be able to ask her to marry him without attacking the happiness of her father Emma 's answer was ready at the first word While her dear father lived any change of condition must be impossible for her She could never quit him Part only of this answer however was admitted The impossibility of her quitting her father Mr Knightley felt as strongly as herself but the inadmissibility of any other change he could not agree to He had been thinking it over most deeply most intently he had at first hoped to induce Mr Woodhouse to remove with her to Donwell he had wanted to believe it feasible but his knowledge of Mr Woodhouse would not suffer him to deceive himself long and now he confessed his persuasion that such a transplantation would be a risk of her father 's comfort perhaps even of his life which must not be hazarded Mr Woodhouse taken from Hartfield No he felt that it ought not to be attempted But the plan which had arisen on the sacrifice of this he trusted his dearest Emma would not find in any respect objectionable it was that he should be received at Hartfield that so long as her father 's happiness in other words his life required Hartfield to continue her home it should be his likewise {para} Of their all removing to Donwell Emma had already had her own passing thoughts Like him she had tried the scheme and rejected it but such an alternative as this had not occurred to her She was sensible of all the affection it evinced She felt that in quitting Donwell he must be sacrificing a great deal of independence of hours and habits that in living constantly with her father and in no house of his own there would be much very much to be borne with She promised to think of it and advised him to think of it more but he was fully convinced that no reflection could alter his wishes or his opinion on the subject He had given it he could assure her very long and calm consideration he had been walking away from William Larkins the whole morning to have his thoughts to himself {para} Ah there is one difficulty unprovided for cried Emma I am sure William Larkins will not like it You must get his consent before you ask mine {para} She promised however to think of it and pretty nearly promised moreover to think of it with the intention of finding it a very good scheme {para} It is remarkable that Emma in the many very many points of view in which she was now beginning to consider Donwell Abbey was never struck with any sense of injury to her nephew Henry whose rights as heir expectant had formerly been so tenaciously regarded Think she must of the possible difference to the poor little boy and yet she only gave herself a saucy conscious smile about it and found amusement in detecting the real cause of that violent dislike of Mr Knightley 's marrying Jane Fairfax or any body else which at the time she had wholly imputed to the amiable solicitude of the sister and the aunt {para} This proposal of his this plan of marrying and continuing at Hartfield the more she contemplated it the more pleasing it became His evils seemed to lessen her own advantages to increase their mutual good to outweigh every drawback Such a companion for herself in the periods of anxiety and cheerlessness before her Such a partner in all those duties and cares to which time must be giving increase of melancholy {para} She would have been too happy but for poor Harriet but every blessing of her own seemed to involve and advance the sufferings of her friend who must now be even excluded from Hartfield The delightful family party which Emma was securing for herself poor Harriet must in mere charitable caution be kept at a distance from She would be a loser in every way Emma could not deplore her future absence as any deduction from her own enjoyment In such a party Harriet would be rather a dead weight than otherwise but for the poor girl herself it seemed a peculiarly cruel necessity that was to be placing her in such a state of unmerited punishment {para} In time of course Mr Knightley would be forgotten that is supplanted but this could not be expected to happen very early Mr Knightley himself would be doing nothing to assist the cure not like Mr Elton Mr Knightley always so kind so feeling so truly considerate for every body would never deserve to be less worshipped than now and it really was too much to hope even of Harriet that she could be in love with more than three men in one year {para} CHAPTER XVI {para} It was a very great relief to Emma to find Harriet as desirous as herself to avoid a meeting Their intercourse was painful enough by letter How much worse had they been obliged to meet {para} Harriet expressed herself very much as might be supposed without reproaches or apparent sense of ill usage and yet Emma fancied there was a something of resentment a something bordering on it in her style which increased the desirableness of their being separate It might be only her own consciousness but it seemed as if an angel only could have been quite without resentment under such a stroke {para} She had no difficulty in procuring Isabella 's invitation and she was fortunate in having a sufficient reason for asking it without resorting to invention There was a tooth amiss Harriet really wished and had wished some time to consult a dentist Mrs John Knightley was delighted to be of use any thing of ill health was a recommendation to her and though not so fond of a dentist as of a Mr Wingfield she was quite eager to have Harriet under her care When it was thus settled on her sister 's side Emma proposed it to her friend and found her very persuadable Harriet was to go she was invited for at least a fortnight she was to be conveyed in Mr Woodhouse 's carriage It was all arranged it was all completed and Harriet was safe in Brunswick Square {para} Now Emma could indeed enjoy Mr Knightley 's visits now she could talk and she could listen with true happiness unchecked by that sense of injustice of guilt of something most painful which had haunted her when remembering how disappointed a heart was near her how much might at that moment and at a little distance be enduring by the feelings which she had led astray herself {para} The difference of Harriet at Mrs Goddard 's or in London made perhaps an unreasonable difference in Emma 's sensations but she could not think of her in London without objects of curiosity and employment which must be averting the past and carrying her out of herself {para} She would not allow any other anxiety to succeed directly to the place in her mind which Harriet had occupied There was a communication before her one which she only could be competent to make the confession of her engagement to her father but she would have nothing to do with it at present She had resolved to defer the disclosure till Mrs Weston were safe and well No additional agitation should be thrown at this period among those she loved and the evil should not act on herself by anticipation before the appointed time A fortnight at least of leisure and peace of mind to crown every warmer but more agitating delight should be hers {para} She soon resolved equally as a duty and a pleasure to employ half an hour of this holiday of spirits in calling on Miss Fairfax She ought to go and she was longing to see her the resemblance of their present situations increasing every other motive of goodwill It would be a secret satisfaction but the consciousness of a similarity of prospect would certainly add to the interest with which she should attend to any thing Jane might communicate {para} She went she had driven once unsuccessfully to the door but had not been into the house since the morning after Box Hill when poor Jane had been in such distress as had filled her with compassion though all the worst of her sufferings had been unsuspected The fear of being still unwelcome determined her though assured of their being at home to wait in the passage and send up her name She heard Patty announcing it but no such bustle succeeded as poor Miss Bates had before made so happily intelligible No she heard nothing but the instant reply of Beg her to walk up and a moment afterwards she was met on the stairs by Jane herself coming eagerly forward as if no other reception of her were felt sufficient Emma had never seen her look so well so lovely so engaging There was consciousness animation and warmth there was every thing which her countenance or manner could ever have wanted She came forward with an offered hand and said in a low but very feeling tone {para} This is most kind indeed Miss Woodhouse it is impossible for me to express I hope you will believe Excuse me for being so entirely without words {para} Emma was gratified and would soon have shewn no want of words if the sound of Mrs Elton 's voice from the sitting room had not checked her and made it expedient to compress all her friendly and all her congratulatory sensations into a very very earnest shake of the hand {para} Mrs Bates and Mrs Elton were together Miss Bates was out which accounted for the previous tranquillity Emma could have wished Mrs Elton elsewhere but she was in a humour to have patience with every body and as Mrs Elton met her with unusual graciousness she hoped the rencontre would do them no harm {para} She soon believed herself to penetrate Mrs Elton 's thoughts and understand why she was like herself in happy spirits it was being in Miss Fairfax 's confidence and fancying herself acquainted with what was still a secret to other people Emma saw symptoms of it immediately in the expression of her face and while paying her own compliments to Mrs Bates and appearing to attend to the good old lady 's replies she saw her with a sort of anxious parade of mystery fold up a letter which she had apparently been reading aloud to Miss Fairfax and return it into the purple and gold reticule by her side saying with significant nods {para} We can finish this some other time you know You and I shall not want opportunities And in fact you have heard all the essential already I only wanted to prove to you that Mrs S admits our apology and is not offended You see how delightfully she writes Oh she is a sweet creature You would have doated on her had you gone But not a word more Let us be discreet quite on our good behaviour Hush You remember those lines I forget the poem at this moment {para} For when a lady 's in the case You know all other things give place {para} Now I say my dear in our case for lady read mum a word to the wise I am in a fine flow of spirits an't I But I want to set your heart at ease as to Mrs S My representation you see has quite appeased her {para} And again on Emma 's merely turning her head to look at Mrs Bates 's knitting she added in a half whisper {para} I mentioned no names you will observe Oh no cautious as a minister of state I managed it extremely well {para} Emma could not doubt It was a palpable display repeated on every possible occasion When they had all talked a little while in harmony of the weather and Mrs Weston she found herself abruptly addressed with {para} Do not you think Miss Woodhouse our saucy little friend here is charmingly recovered Do not you think her cure does Perry the highest credit here was a side glance of great meaning at Jane Upon my word Perry has restored her in a wonderful short time Oh if you had seen her as I did when she was at the worst And when Mrs Bates was saying something to Emma whispered farther We do not say a word of any assistance that Perry might have not a word of a certain young physician from Windsor Oh no Perry shall have all the credit {para} I have scarce had the pleasure of seeing you Miss Woodhouse she shortly afterwards began since the party to Box Hill Very pleasant party But yet I think there was something wanting Things did not seem that is there seemed a little cloud upon the spirits of some So it appeared to me at least but I might be mistaken However I think it answered so far as to tempt one to go again What say you both to our collecting the same party and exploring to Box Hill again while the fine weather lasts It must be the same party you know quite the same party not one exception {para} Soon after this Miss Bates came in and Emma could not help being diverted by the perplexity of her first answer to herself resulting she supposed from doubt of what might be said and impatience to say every thing {para} Thank you dear Miss Woodhouse you are all kindness It is impossible to say Yes indeed I quite understand dearest Jane 's prospects that is I do not mean But she is charmingly recovered How is Mr Woodhouse I am so glad Quite out of my power Such a happy little circle as you find us here Yes indeed Charming young man that is so very friendly I mean good Mr Perry such attention to Jane And from her great her more than commonly thankful delight towards Mrs Elton for being there Emma guessed that there had been a little show of resentment towards Jane from the vicarage quarter which was now graciously overcome After a few whispers indeed which placed it beyond a guess Mrs Elton speaking louder said {para} Yes here I am my good friend and here I have been so long that anywhere else I should think it necessary to apologise but the truth is that I am waiting for my lord and master He promised to join me here and pay his respects to you {para} What are we to have the pleasure of a call from Mr Elton That will be a favour indeed for I know gentlemen do not like morning visits and Mr Elton 's time is so engaged {para} Upon my word it is Miss Bates He really is engaged from morning to night There is no end of people 's coming to him on some pretence or other The magistrates and overseers and churchwardens are always wanting his opinion They seem not able to do any thing without him Upon my word Mr E I often say rather you than I I do not know what would become of my crayons and my instrument if I had half so many applicants Bad enough as it is for I absolutely neglect them both to an unpardonable degree I believe I have not played a bar this fortnight However he is coming I assure you yes indeed on purpose to wait on you all And putting up her hand to screen her words from Emma A congratulatory visit you know Oh yes quite indispensable {para} Miss Bates looked about her so happily {para} He promised to come to me as soon as he could disengage himself from Knightley but he and Knightley are shut up together in deep consultation Mr E is Knightley 's right hand {para} Emma would not have smiled for the world and only said Is Mr Elton gone on foot to Donwell He will have a hot walk {para} Oh no it is a meeting at the Crown a regular meeting Weston and Cole will be there too but one is apt to speak only of those who lead I fancy Mr E and Knightley have every thing their own way {para} Have not you mistaken the day said Emma I am almost certain that the meeting at the Crown is not till to morrow Mr Knightley was at Hartfield yesterday and spoke of it as for Saturday {para} Oh no the meeting is certainly to day was the abrupt answer which denoted the impossibility of any blunder on Mrs Elton 's side I do believe she continued this is the most troublesome parish that ever was We never heard of such things at Maple Grove {para} Your parish there was small said Jane {para} Upon my word my dear I do not know for I never heard the subject talked of {para} But it is proved by the smallness of the school which I have heard you speak of as under the patronage of your sister and Mrs Bragge the only school and not more than five and twenty children {para} Ah you clever creature that 's very true What a thinking brain you have I say Jane what a perfect character you and I should make if we could be shaken together My liveliness and your solidity would produce perfection Not that I presume to insinuate however that some people may not think you perfection already But hush not a word if you please {para} It seemed an unnecessary caution Jane was wanting to give her words not to Mrs Elton but to Miss Woodhouse as the latter plainly saw The wish of distinguishing her as far as civility permitted was very evident though it could not often proceed beyond a look {para} Mr Elton made his appearance His lady greeted him with some of her sparkling vivacity {para} Very pretty sir upon my word to send me on here to be an encumbrance to my friends so long before you vouchsafe to come But you knew what a dutiful creature you had to deal with You knew I should not stir till my lord and master appeared Here have I been sitting this hour giving these young ladies a sample of true conjugal obedience for who can say you know how soon it may be wanted {para} Mr Elton was so hot and tired that all this wit seemed thrown away His civilities to the other ladies must be paid but his subsequent object was to lament over himself for the heat he was suffering and the walk he had had for nothing {para} When I got to Donwell said he Knightley could not be found Very odd very unaccountable after the note I sent him this morning and the message he returned that he should certainly be at home till one {para} Donwell cried his wife My dear Mr E you have not been to Donwell You mean the Crown you come from the meeting at the Crown {para} No no that 's to morrow and I particularly wanted to see Knightley to day on that very account Such a dreadful broiling morning I went over the fields too speaking in a tone of great ill usage which made it so much the worse And then not to find him at home I assure you I am not at all pleased And no apology left no message for me The housekeeper declared she knew nothing of my being expected Very extraordinary And nobody knew at all which way he was gone Perhaps to Hartfield perhaps to the Abbey Mill perhaps into his woods Miss Woodhouse this is not like our friend Knightley Can you explain it {para} Emma amused herself by protesting that it was very extraordinary indeed and that she had not a syllable to say for him {para} I cannot imagine said Mrs Elton feeling the indignity as a wife ought to do I cannot imagine how he could do such a thing by you of all people in the world The very last person whom one should expect to be forgotten My dear Mr E he must have left a message for you I am sure he must Not even Knightley could be so very eccentric and his servants forgot it Depend upon it that was the case and very likely to happen with the Donwell servants who are all I have often observed extremely awkward and remiss I am sure I would not have such a creature as his Harry stand at our sideboard for any consideration And as for Mrs Hodges Wright holds her very cheap indeed She promised Wright a receipt and never sent it {para} I met William Larkins continued Mr Elton as I got near the house and he told me I should not find his master at home but I did not believe him William seemed rather out of humour He did not know what was come to his master lately he said but he could hardly ever get the speech of him I have nothing to do with William 's wants but it really is of very great importance that I should see Knightley to day and it becomes a matter therefore of very serious inconvenience that I should have had this hot walk to no purpose {para} Emma felt that she could not do better than go home directly In all probability she was at this very time waited for there and Mr Knightley might be preserved from sinking deeper in aggression towards Mr Elton if not towards William Larkins {para} She was pleased on taking leave to find Miss Fairfax determined to attend her out of the room to go with her even downstairs it gave her an opportunity which she immediately made use of to say {para} It is as well perhaps that I have not had the possibility Had you not been surrounded by other friends I might have been tempted to introduce a subject to ask questions to speak more openly than might have been strictly correct I feel that I should certainly have been impertinent {para} Oh cried Jane with a blush and an hesitation which Emma thought infinitely more becoming to her than all the elegance of all her usual composure there would have been no danger The danger would have been of my wearying you You could not have gratified me more than by expressing an interest Indeed Miss Woodhouse speaking more collectedly with the consciousness which I have of misconduct very great misconduct it is particularly consoling to me to know that those of my friends whose good opinion is most worth preserving are not disgusted to such a degree as to I have not time for half that I could wish to say I long to make apologies excuses to urge something for myself I feel it so very due But unfortunately in short if your compassion does not stand my friend {para} Oh you are too scrupulous indeed you are cried Emma warmly and taking her hand You owe me no apologies and every body to whom you might be supposed to owe them is so perfectly satisfied so delighted even {para} You are very kind but I know what my manners were to you So cold and artificial I had always a part to act It was a life of deceit I know that I must have disgusted you {para} Pray say no more I feel that all the apologies should be on my side Let us forgive each other at once We must do whatever is to be done quickest and I think our feelings will lose no time there I hope you have pleasant accounts from Windsor {para} Very {para} And the next news I suppose will be that we are to lose you just as I begin to know you {para} Oh as to all that of course nothing can be thought of yet I am here till claimed by Colonel and Mrs Campbell {para} Nothing can be actually settled yet perhaps replied Emma smiling but excuse me it must be thought of {para} The smile was returned as Jane answered {para} You are very right it has been thought of And I will own to you I am sure it will be safe that so far as our living with Mr Churchill at Enscombe it is settled There must be three months at least of deep mourning but when they are over I imagine there will be nothing more to wait for {para} Thank you thank you This is just what I wanted to be assured of Oh if you knew how much I love every thing that is decided and open Good bye good bye {para} CHAPTER XVII {para} Mrs Weston 's friends were all made happy by her safety and if the satisfaction of her well doing could be increased to Emma it was by knowing her to be the mother of a little girl She had been decided in wishing for a Miss Weston She would not acknowledge that it was with any view of making a match for her hereafter with either of Isabella 's sons but she was convinced that a daughter would suit both father and mother best It would be a great comfort to Mr Weston as he grew older and even Mr Weston might be growing older ten years hence to have his fireside enlivened by the sports and the nonsense the freaks and the fancies of a child never banished from home and Mrs Weston no one could doubt that a daughter would be most to her and it would be quite a pity that any one who so well knew how to teach should not have their powers in exercise again {para} She has had the advantage you know of practising on me she continued like La Baronne d'Almane on La Comtesse d'Ostalis in Madame de Genlis Adelaide and Theodore and we shall now see her own little Adelaide educated on a more perfect plan {para} That is replied Mr Knightley she will indulge her even more than she did you and believe that she does not indulge her at all It will be the only difference {para} Poor child cried Emma at that rate what will become of her {para} Nothing very bad The fate of thousands She will be disagreeable in infancy and correct herself as she grows older I am losing all my bitterness against spoilt children my dearest Emma I who am owing all my happiness to you would not it be horrible ingratitude in me to be severe on them {para} Emma laughed and replied But I had the assistance of all your endeavours to counteract the indulgence of other people I doubt whether my own sense would have corrected me without it {para} Do you I have no doubt Nature gave you understanding Miss Taylor gave you principles You must have done well My interference was quite as likely to do harm as good It was very natural for you to say what right has he to lecture me and I am afraid very natural for you to feel that it was done in a disagreeable manner I do not believe I did you any good The good was all to myself by making you an object of the tenderest affection to me I could not think about you so much without doating on you faults and all and by dint of fancying so many errors have been in love with you ever since you were thirteen at least {para} I am sure you were of use to me cried Emma I was very often influenced rightly by you oftener than I would own at the time I am very sure you did me good And if poor little Anna Weston is to be spoiled it will be the greatest humanity in you to do as much for her as you have done for me except falling in love with her when she is thirteen {para} How often when you were a girl have you said to me with one of your saucy looks Mr Knightley I am going to do so and so papa says I may or I have Miss Taylor 's leave something which you knew I did not approve In such cases my interference was giving you two bad feelings instead of one {para} What an amiable creature I was No wonder you should hold my speeches in such affectionate remembrance {para} Mr Knightley You always called me Mr Knightley and from habit it has not so very formal a sound And yet it is formal I want you to call me something else but I do not know what {para} I remember once calling you George in one of my amiable fits about ten years ago I did it because I thought it would offend you but as you made no objection I never did it again {para} And cannot you call me George now {para} Impossible I never can call you any thing but Mr Knightley I will not promise even to equal the elegant terseness of Mrs Elton by calling you Mr K But I will promise she added presently laughing and blushing I will promise to call you once by your Christian name I do not say when but perhaps you may guess where in the building in which N takes M for better for worse {para} Emma grieved that she could not be more openly just to one important service which his better sense would have rendered her to the advice which would have saved her from the worst of all her womanly follies her wilful intimacy with Harriet Smith but it was too tender a subject She could not enter on it Harriet was very seldom mentioned between them This on his side might merely proceed from her not being thought of but Emma was rather inclined to attribute it to delicacy and a suspicion from some appearances that their friendship were declining She was aware herself that parting under any other circumstances they certainly should have corresponded more and that her intelligence would not have rested as it now almost wholly did on Isabella 's letters He might observe that it was so The pain of being obliged to practise concealment towards him was very little inferior to the pain of having made Harriet unhappy {para} Isabella sent quite as good an account of her visitor as could be expected on her first arrival she had thought her out of spirits which appeared perfectly natural as there was a dentist to be consulted but since that business had been over she did not appear to find Harriet different from what she had known her before Isabella to be sure was no very quick observer yet if Harriet had not been equal to playing with the children it would not have escaped her Emma 's comforts and hopes were most agreeably carried on by Harriet 's being to stay longer her fortnight was likely to be a month at least Mr and Mrs John Knightley were to come down in August and she was invited to remain till they could bring her back {para} John does not even mention your friend said Mr Knightley Here is his answer if you like to see it {para} It was the answer to the communication of his intended marriage Emma accepted it with a very eager hand with an impatience all alive to know what he would say about it and not at all checked by hearing that her friend was unmentioned {para} John enters like a brother into my happiness continued Mr Knightley but he is no complimenter and though I well know him to have likewise a most brotherly affection for you he is so far from making flourishes that any other young woman might think him rather cool in her praise But I am not afraid of your seeing what he writes {para} He writes like a sensible man replied Emma when she had read the letter I honour his sincerity It is very plain that he considers the good fortune of the engagement as all on my side but that he is not without hope of my growing in time as worthy of your affection as you think me already Had he said any thing to bear a different construction I should not have believed him {para} My Emma he means no such thing He only means {para} He and I should differ very little in our estimation of the two interrupted she with a sort of serious smile much less perhaps than he is aware of if we could enter without ceremony or reserve on the subject {para} Emma my dear Emma {para} Oh she cried with more thorough gaiety if you fancy your brother does not do me justice only wait till my dear father is in the secret and hear his opinion Depend upon it he will be much farther from doing you justice He will think all the happiness all the advantage on your side of the question all the merit on mine I wish I may not sink into poor Emma with him at once His tender compassion towards oppressed worth can go no farther {para} Ah he cried I wish your father might be half as easily convinced as John will be of our having every right that equal worth can give to be happy together I am amused by one part of John 's letter did you notice it where he says that my information did not take him wholly by surprize that he was rather in expectation of hearing something of the kind {para} If I understand your brother he only means so far as your having some thoughts of marrying He had no idea of me He seems perfectly unprepared for that {para} Yes yes but I am amused that he should have seen so far into my feelings What has he been judging by I am not conscious of any difference in my spirits or conversation that could prepare him at this time for my marrying any more than at another But it was so I suppose I dare say there was a difference when I was staying with them the other day I believe I did not play with the children quite so much as usual I remember one evening the poor boys saying Uncle seems always tired now {para} The time was coming when the news must spread farther and other persons reception of it tried As soon as Mrs Weston was sufficiently recovered to admit Mr Woodhouse 's visits Emma having it in view that her gentle reasonings should be employed in the cause resolved first to announce it at home and then at Randalls But how to break it to her father at last She had bound herself to do it in such an hour of Mr Knightley 's absence or when it came to the point her heart would have failed her and she must have put it off but Mr Knightley was to come at such a time and follow up the beginning she was to make She was forced to speak and to speak cheerfully too She must not make it a more decided subject of misery to him by a melancholy tone herself She must not appear to think it a misfortune With all the spirits she could command she prepared him first for something strange and then in a few words said that if his consent and approbation could be obtained which she trusted would be attended with no difficulty since it was a plan to promote the happiness of all she and Mr Knightley meant to marry by which means Hartfield would receive the constant addition of that person 's company whom she knew he loved next to his daughters and Mrs Weston best in the world {para} Poor man it was at first a considerable shock to him and he tried earnestly to dissuade her from it She was reminded more than once of having always said she would never marry and assured that it would be a great deal better for her to remain single and told of poor Isabella and poor Miss Taylor But it would not do Emma hung about him affectionately and smiled and said it must be so and that he must not class her with Isabella and Mrs Weston whose marriages taking them from Hartfield had indeed made a melancholy change but she was not going from Hartfield she should be always there she was introducing no change in their numbers or their comforts but for the better and she was very sure that he would be a great deal the happier for having Mr Knightley always at hand when he were once got used to the idea Did he not love Mr Knightley very much He would not deny that he did she was sure Whom did he ever want to consult on business but Mr Knightley Who was so useful to him who so ready to write his letters who so glad to assist him Who so cheerful so attentive so attached to him Would not he like to have him always on the spot Yes That was all very true Mr Knightley could not be there too often he should be glad to see him every day but they did see him every day as it was Why could not they go on as they had done {para} Mr Woodhouse could not be soon reconciled but the worst was overcome the idea was given time and continual repetition must do the rest To Emma 's entreaties and assurances succeeded Mr Knightley 's whose fond praise of her gave the subject even a kind of welcome and he was soon used to be talked to by each on every fair occasion They had all the assistance which Isabella could give by letters of the strongest approbation and Mrs Weston was ready on the first meeting to consider the subject in the most serviceable light first as a settled and secondly as a good one well aware of the nearly equal importance of the two recommendations to Mr Woodhouse 's mind It was agreed upon as what was to be and every body by whom he was used to be guided assuring him that it would be for his happiness and having some feelings himself which almost admitted it he began to think that some time or other in another year or two perhaps it might not be so very bad if the marriage did take place {para} Mrs Weston was acting no part feigning no feelings in all that she said to him in favour of the event She had been extremely surprized never more so than when Emma first opened the affair to her but she saw in it only increase of happiness to all and had no scruple in urging him to the utmost She had such a regard for Mr Knightley as to think he deserved even her dearest Emma and it was in every respect so proper suitable and unexceptionable a connexion and in one respect one point of the highest importance so peculiarly eligible so singularly fortunate that now it seemed as if Emma could not safely have attached herself to any other creature and that she had herself been the stupidest of beings in not having thought of it and wished it long ago How very few of those men in a rank of life to address Emma would have renounced their own home for Hartfield And who but Mr Knightley could know and bear with Mr Woodhouse so as to make such an arrangement desirable The difficulty of disposing of poor Mr Woodhouse had been always felt in her husband 's plans and her own for a marriage between Frank and Emma How to settle the claims of Enscombe and Hartfield had been a continual impediment less acknowledged by Mr Weston than by herself but even he had never been able to finish the subject better than by saying Those matters will take care of themselves the young people will find a way But here there was nothing to be shifted off in a wild speculation on the future It was all right all open all equal No sacrifice on any side worth the name It was a union of the highest promise of felicity in itself and without one real rational difficulty to oppose or delay it {para} Mrs Weston with her baby on her knee indulging in such reflections as these was one of the happiest women in the world If any thing could increase her delight it was perceiving that the baby would soon have outgrown its first set of caps {para} The news was universally a surprize wherever it spread and Mr Weston had his five minutes share of it but five minutes were enough to familiarise the idea to his quickness of mind He saw the advantages of the match and rejoiced in them with all the constancy of his wife but the wonder of it was very soon nothing and by the end of an hour he was not far from believing that he had always foreseen it {para} It is to be a secret I conclude said he These matters are always a secret till it is found out that every body knows them Only let me be told when I may speak out I wonder whether Jane has any suspicion {para} He went to Highbury the next morning and satisfied himself on that point He told her the news Was not she like a daughter his eldest daughter he must tell her and Miss Bates being present it passed of course to Mrs Cole Mrs Perry and Mrs Elton immediately afterwards It was no more than the principals were prepared for they had calculated from the time of its being known at Randalls how soon it would be over Highbury and were thinking of themselves as the evening wonder in many a family circle with great sagacity {para} In general it was a very well approved match Some might think him and others might think her the most in luck One set might recommend their all removing to Donwell and leaving Hartfield for the John Knightleys and another might predict disagreements among their servants but yet upon the whole there was no serious objection raised except in one habitation the Vicarage There the surprize was not softened by any satisfaction Mr Elton cared little about it compared with his wife he only hoped the young lady 's pride would now be contented and supposed she had always meant to catch Knightley if she could and on the point of living at Hartfield could daringly exclaim Rather he than I But Mrs Elton was very much discomposed indeed Poor Knightley poor fellow sad business for him She was extremely concerned for though very eccentric he had a thousand good qualities How could he be so taken in Did not think him at all in love not in the least Poor Knightley There would be an end of all pleasant intercourse with him How happy he had been to come and dine with them whenever they asked him But that would be all over now Poor fellow No more exploring parties to Donwell made for her Oh no there would be a Mrs Knightley to throw cold water on every thing Extremely disagreeable But she was not at all sorry that she had abused the housekeeper the other day Shocking plan living together It would never do She knew a family near Maple Grove who had tried it and been obliged to separate before the end of the first quarter {para} CHAPTER XVIII {para} Time passed on A few more to morrows and the party from London would be arriving It was an alarming change and Emma was thinking of it one morning as what must bring a great deal to agitate and grieve her when Mr Knightley came in and distressing thoughts were put by After the first chat of pleasure he was silent and then in a graver tone began with {para} I have something to tell you Emma some news {para} Good or bad said she quickly looking up in his face {para} I do not know which it ought to be called {para} Oh good I am sure I see it in your countenance You are trying not to smile {para} I am afraid said he composing his features I am very much afraid my dear Emma that you will not smile when you hear it {para} Indeed but why so I can hardly imagine that any thing which pleases or amuses you should not please and amuse me too {para} There is one subject he replied I hope but one on which we do not think alike He paused a moment again smiling with his eyes fixed on her face Does nothing occur to you Do not you recollect Harriet Smith {para} Her cheeks flushed at the name and she felt afraid of something though she knew not what {para} Have you heard from her yourself this morning cried he You have I believe and know the whole {para} No I have not I know nothing pray tell me {para} You are prepared for the worst I see and very bad it is Harriet Smith marries Robert Martin {para} Emma gave a start which did not seem like being prepared and her eyes in eager gaze said No this is impossible but her lips were closed {para} It is so indeed continued Mr Knightley I have it from Robert Martin himself He left me not half an hour ago {para} She was still looking at him with the most speaking amazement {para} You like it my Emma as little as I feared I wish our opinions were the same But in time they will Time you may be sure will make one or the other of us think differently and in the meanwhile we need not talk much on the subject {para} You mistake me you quite mistake me she replied exerting herself It is not that such a circumstance would now make me unhappy but I cannot believe it It seems an impossibility You cannot mean to say that Harriet Smith has accepted Robert Martin You cannot mean that he has even proposed to her again yet You only mean that he intends it {para} I mean that he has done it answered Mr Knightley with smiling but determined decision and been accepted {para} Good God she cried Well Then having recourse to her workbasket in excuse for leaning down her face and concealing all the exquisite feelings of delight and entertainment which she knew she must be expressing she added Well now tell me every thing make this intelligible to me How where when Let me know it all I never was more surprized but it does not make me unhappy I assure you How how has it been possible {para} It is a very simple story He went to town on business three days ago and I got him to take charge of some papers which I was wanting to send to John He delivered these papers to John at his chambers and was asked by him to join their party the same evening to Astley 's They were going to take the two eldest boys to Astley 's The party was to be our brother and sister Henry John and Miss Smith My friend Robert could not resist They called for him in their way were all extremely amused and my brother asked him to dine with them the next day which he did and in the course of that visit as I understand he found an opportunity of speaking to Harriet and certainly did not speak in vain She made him by her acceptance as happy even as he is deserving He came down by yesterday 's coach and was with me this morning immediately after breakfast to report his proceedings first on my affairs and then on his own This is all that I can relate of the how where and when Your friend Harriet will make a much longer history when you see her She will give you all the minute particulars which only woman 's language can make interesting In our communications we deal only in the great However I must say that Robert Martin 's heart seemed for him and to me very overflowing and that he did mention without its being much to the purpose that on quitting their box at Astley 's my brother took charge of Mrs John Knightley and little John and he followed with Miss Smith and Henry and that at one time they were in such a crowd as to make Miss Smith rather uneasy {para} He stopped Emma dared not attempt any immediate reply To speak she was sure would be to betray a most unreasonable degree of happiness She must wait a moment or he would think her mad Her silence disturbed him and after observing her a little while he added {para} Emma my love you said that this circumstance would not now make you unhappy but I am afraid it gives you more pain than you expected His situation is an evil but you must consider it as what satisfies your friend and I will answer for your thinking better and better of him as you know him more His good sense and good principles would delight you As far as the man is concerned you could not wish your friend in better hands His rank in society I would alter if I could which is saying a great deal I assure you Emma You laugh at me about William Larkins but I could quite as ill spare Robert Martin {para} He wanted her to look up and smile and having now brought herself not to smile too broadly she did cheerfully answering {para} You need not be at any pains to reconcile me to the match I think Harriet is doing extremely well Her connexions may be worse than his In respectability of character there can be no doubt that they are I have been silent from surprize merely excessive surprize You cannot imagine how suddenly it has come on me how peculiarly unprepared I was for I had reason to believe her very lately more determined against him much more than she was before {para} You ought to know your friend best replied Mr Knightley but I should say she was a good tempered soft hearted girl not likely to be very very determined against any young man who told her he loved her {para} Emma could not help laughing as she answered Upon my word I believe you know her quite as well as I do But Mr Knightley are you perfectly sure that she has absolutely and downright accepted him I could suppose she might in time but can she already Did not you misunderstand him You were both talking of other things of business shows of cattle or new drills and might not you in the confusion of so many subjects mistake him It was not Harriet 's hand that he was certain of it was the dimensions of some famous ox {para} The contrast between the countenance and air of Mr Knightley and Robert Martin was at this moment so strong to Emma 's feelings and so strong was the recollection of all that had so recently passed on Harriet 's side so fresh the sound of those words spoken with such emphasis No I hope I know better than to think of Robert Martin that she was really expecting the intelligence to prove in some measure premature It could not be otherwise {para} Do you dare say this cried Mr Knightley Do you dare to suppose me so great a blockhead as not to know what a man is talking of What do you deserve {para} Oh I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other and therefore you must give me a plain direct answer Are you quite sure that you understand the terms on which Mr Martin and Harriet now are {para} I am quite sure he replied speaking very distinctly that he told me she had accepted him and that there was no obscurity nothing doubtful in the words he used and I think I can give you a proof that it must be so He asked my opinion as to what he was now to do He knew of no one but Mrs Goddard to whom he could apply for information of her relations or friends Could I mention any thing more fit to be done than to go to Mrs Goddard I assured him that I could not Then he said he would endeavour to see her in the course of this day {para} I am perfectly satisfied replied Emma with the brightest smiles and most sincerely wish them happy {para} You are materially changed since we talked on this subject before {para} I hope so for at that time I was a fool {para} And I am changed also for I am now very willing to grant you all Harriet 's good qualities I have taken some pains for your sake and for Robert Martin 's sake whom I have always had reason to believe as much in love with her as ever to get acquainted with her I have often talked to her a good deal You must have seen that I did Sometimes indeed I have thought you were half suspecting me of pleading poor Martin 's cause which was never the case but from all my observations I am convinced of her being an artless amiable girl with very good notions very seriously good principles and placing her happiness in the affections and utility of domestic life Much of this I have no doubt she may thank you for {para} Me cried Emma shaking her head Ah poor Harriet {para} She checked herself however and submitted quietly to a little more praise than she deserved {para} Their conversation was soon afterwards closed by the entrance of her father She was not sorry She wanted to be alone Her mind was in a state of flutter and wonder which made it impossible for her to be collected She was in dancing singing exclaiming spirits and till she had moved about and talked to herself and laughed and reflected she could be fit for nothing rational {para} Her father 's business was to announce James 's being gone out to put the horses to preparatory to their now daily drive to Randalls and she had therefore an immediate excuse for disappearing {para} The joy the gratitude the exquisite delight of her sensations may be imagined The sole grievance and alloy thus removed in the prospect of Harriet 's welfare she was really in danger of becoming too happy for security What had she to wish for Nothing but to grow more worthy of him whose intentions and judgment had been ever so superior to her own Nothing but that the lessons of her past folly might teach her humility and circumspection in future {para} Serious she was very serious in her thankfulness and in her resolutions and yet there was no preventing a laugh sometimes in the very midst of them She must laugh at such a close Such an end of the doleful disappointment of five weeks back Such a heart such a Harriet {para} Now there would be pleasure in her returning Every thing would be a pleasure It would be a great pleasure to know Robert Martin {para} High in the rank of her most serious and heartfelt felicities was the reflection that all necessity of concealment from Mr Knightley would soon be over The disguise equivocation mystery so hateful to her to practise might soon be over She could now look forward to giving him that full and perfect confidence which her disposition was most ready to welcome as a duty {para} In the gayest and happiest spirits she set forward with her father not always listening but always agreeing to what he said and whether in speech or silence conniving at the comfortable persuasion of his being obliged to go to Randalls every day or poor Mrs Weston would be disappointed {para} They arrived Mrs Weston was alone in the drawing room but hardly had they been told of the baby and Mr Woodhouse received the thanks for coming which he asked for when a glimpse was caught through the blind of two figures passing near the window {para} It is Frank and Miss Fairfax said Mrs Weston I was just going to tell you of our agreeable surprize in seeing him arrive this morning He stays till to morrow and Miss Fairfax has been persuaded to spend the day with us They are coming in I hope {para} In half a minute they were in the room Emma was extremely glad to see him but there was a degree of confusion a number of embarrassing recollections on each side They met readily and smiling but with a consciousness which at first allowed little to be said and having all sat down again there was for some time such a blank in the circle that Emma began to doubt whether the wish now indulged which she had long felt of seeing Frank Churchill once more and of seeing him with Jane would yield its proportion of pleasure When Mr Weston joined the party however and when the baby was fetched there was no longer a want of subject or animation or of courage and opportunity for Frank Churchill to draw near her and say {para} I have to thank you Miss Woodhouse for a very kind forgiving message in one of Mrs Weston 's letters I hope time has not made you less willing to pardon I hope you do not retract what you then said {para} No indeed cried Emma most happy to begin not in the least I am particularly glad to see and shake hands with you and to give you joy in person {para} He thanked her with all his heart and continued some time to speak with serious feeling of his gratitude and happiness {para} Is not she looking well said he turning his eyes towards Jane Better than she ever used to do You see how my father and Mrs Weston doat upon her {para} But his spirits were soon rising again and with laughing eyes after mentioning the expected return of the Campbells he named the name of Dixon Emma blushed and forbade its being pronounced in her hearing {para} I can never think of it she cried without extreme shame {para} The shame he answered is all mine or ought to be But is it possible that you had no suspicion I mean of late Early I know you had none {para} I never had the smallest I assure you {para} That appears quite wonderful I was once very near and I wish I had it would have been better But though I was always doing wrong things they were very bad wrong things and such as did me no service It would have been a much better transgression had I broken the bond of secrecy and told you every thing {para} It is not now worth a regret said Emma {para} I have some hope resumed he of my uncle 's being persuaded to pay a visit at Randalls he wants to be introduced to her When the Campbells are returned we shall meet them in London and continue there I trust till we may carry her northward But now I am at such a distance from her is not it hard Miss Woodhouse Till this morning we have not once met since the day of reconciliation Do not you pity me {para} Emma spoke her pity so very kindly that with a sudden accession of gay thought he cried {para} Ah by the bye then sinking his voice and looking demure for the moment I hope Mr Knightley is well He paused She coloured and laughed I know you saw my letter and think you may remember my wish in your favour Let me return your congratulations I assure you that I have heard the news with the warmest interest and satisfaction He is a man whom I cannot presume to praise {para} Emma was delighted and only wanted him to go on in the same style but his mind was the next moment in his own concerns and with his own Jane and his next words were {para} Did you ever see such a skin such smoothness such delicacy and yet without being actually fair One cannot call her fair It is a most uncommon complexion with her dark eye lashes and hair a most distinguishing complexion So peculiarly the lady in it Just colour enough for beauty {para} I have always admired her complexion replied Emma archly but do not I remember the time when you found fault with her for being so pale When we first began to talk of her Have you quite forgotten {para} Oh no what an impudent dog I was How could I dare {para} But he laughed so heartily at the recollection that Emma could not help saying {para} I do suspect that in the midst of your perplexities at that time you had very great amusement in tricking us all I am sure you had I am sure it was a consolation to you {para} Oh no no no how can you suspect me of such a thing I was the most miserable wretch {para} Not quite so miserable as to be insensible to mirth I am sure it was a source of high entertainment to you to feel that you were taking us all in Perhaps I am the readier to suspect because to tell you the truth I think it might have been some amusement to myself in the same situation I think there is a little likeness between us {para} He bowed {para} If not in our dispositions she presently added with a look of true sensibility there is a likeness in our destiny the destiny which bids fair to connect us with two characters so much superior to our own {para} True true he answered warmly No not true on your side You can have no superior but most true on mine She is a complete angel Look at her Is not she an angel in every gesture Observe the turn of her throat Observe her eyes as she is looking up at my father You will be glad to hear inclining his head and whispering seriously that my uncle means to give her all my aunt 's jewels They are to be new set I am resolved to have some in an ornament for the head Will not it be beautiful in her dark hair {para} Very beautiful indeed replied Emma and she spoke so kindly that he gratefully burst out {para} How delighted I am to see you again and to see you in such excellent looks I would not have missed this meeting for the world I should certainly have called at Hartfield had you failed to come {para} The others had been talking of the child Mrs Weston giving an account of a little alarm she had been under the evening before from the infant 's appearing not quite well She believed she had been foolish but it had alarmed her and she had been within half a minute of sending for Mr Perry Perhaps she ought to be ashamed but Mr Weston had been almost as uneasy as herself In ten minutes however the child had been perfectly well again This was her history and particularly interesting it was to Mr Woodhouse who commended her very much for thinking of sending for Perry and only regretted that she had not done it She should always send for Perry if the child appeared in the slightest degree disordered were it only for a moment She could not be too soon alarmed nor send for Perry too often It was a pity perhaps that he had not come last night for though the child seemed well now very well considering it would probably have been better if Perry had seen it {para} Frank Churchill caught the name {para} Perry said he to Emma and trying as he spoke to catch Miss Fairfax 's eye My friend Mr Perry What are they saying about Mr Perry Has he been here this morning And how does he travel now Has he set up his carriage {para} Emma soon recollected and understood him and while she joined in the laugh it was evident from Jane 's countenance that she too was really hearing him though trying to seem deaf {para} Such an extraordinary dream of mine he cried I can never think of it without laughing She hears us she hears us Miss Woodhouse I see it in her cheek her smile her vain attempt to frown Look at her Do not you see that at this instant the very passage of her own letter which sent me the report is passing under her eye that the whole blunder is spread before her that she can attend to nothing else though pretending to listen to the others {para} Jane was forced to smile completely for a moment and the smile partly remained as she turned towards him and said in a conscious low yet steady voice {para} How you can bear such recollections is astonishing to me They will sometimes obtrude but how you can court them {para} He had a great deal to say in return and very entertainingly but Emma 's feelings were chiefly with Jane in the argument and on leaving Randalls and falling naturally into a comparison of the two men she felt that pleased as she had been to see Frank Churchill and really regarding him as she did with friendship she had never been more sensible of Mr Knightley 's high superiority of character The happiness of this most happy day received its completion in the animated contemplation of his worth which this comparison produced {para} CHAPTER XIX {para} If Emma had still at intervals an anxious feeling for Harriet a momentary doubt of its being possible for her to be really cured of her attachment to Mr Knightley and really able to accept another man from unbiased inclination it was not long that she had to suffer from the recurrence of any such uncertainty A very few days brought the party from London and she had no sooner an opportunity of being one hour alone with Harriet than she became perfectly satisfied unaccountable as it was that Robert Martin had thoroughly supplanted Mr Knightley and was now forming all her views of happiness {para} Harriet was a little distressed did look a little foolish at first but having once owned that she had been presumptuous and silly and self deceived before her pain and confusion seemed to die away with the words and leave her without a care for the past and with the fullest exultation in the present and future for as to her friend 's approbation Emma had instantly removed every fear of that nature by meeting her with the most unqualified congratulations Harriet was most happy to give every particular of the evening at Astley 's and the dinner the next day she could dwell on it all with the utmost delight But what did such particulars explain The fact was as Emma could now acknowledge that Harriet had always liked Robert Martin and that his continuing to love her had been irresistible Beyond this it must ever be unintelligible to Emma {para} The event however was most joyful and every day was giving her fresh reason for thinking so Harriet 's parentage became known She proved to be the daughter of a tradesman rich enough to afford her the comfortable maintenance which had ever been hers and decent enough to have always wished for concealment Such was the blood of gentility which Emma had formerly been so ready to vouch for It was likely to be as untainted perhaps as the blood of many a gentleman but what a connexion had she been preparing for Mr Knightley or for the Churchills or even for Mr Elton The stain of illegitimacy unbleached by nobility or wealth would have been a stain indeed {para} No objection was raised on the father 's side the young man was treated liberally it was all as it should be and as Emma became acquainted with Robert Martin who was now introduced at Hartfield she fully acknowledged in him all the appearance of sense and worth which could bid fairest for her little friend She had no doubt of Harriet 's happiness with any good tempered man but with him and in the home he offered there would be the hope of more of security stability and improvement She would be placed in the midst of those who loved her and who had better sense than herself retired enough for safety and occupied enough for cheerfulness She would be never led into temptation nor left for it to find her out She would be respectable and happy and Emma admitted her to be the luckiest creature in the world to have created so steady and persevering an affection in such a man or if not quite the luckiest to yield only to herself {para} Harriet necessarily drawn away by her engagements with the Martins was less and less at Hartfield which was not to be regretted The intimacy between her and Emma must sink their friendship must change into a calmer sort of goodwill and fortunately what ought to be and must be seemed already beginning and in the most gradual natural manner {para} Before the end of September Emma attended Harriet to church and saw her hand bestowed on Robert Martin with so complete a satisfaction as no remembrances even connected with Mr Elton as he stood before them could impair Perhaps indeed at that time she scarcely saw Mr Elton but as the clergyman whose blessing at the altar might next fall on herself Robert Martin and Harriet Smith the latest couple engaged of the three were the first to be married {para} Jane Fairfax had already quitted Highbury and was restored to the comforts of her beloved home with the Campbells The Mr Churchills were also in town and they were only waiting for November {para} The intermediate month was the one fixed on as far as they dared by Emma and Mr Knightley They had determined that their marriage ought to be concluded while John and Isabella were still at Hartfield to allow them the fortnight 's absence in a tour to the seaside which was the plan John and Isabella and every other friend were agreed in approving it But Mr Woodhouse how was Mr Woodhouse to be induced to consent he who had never yet alluded to their marriage but as a distant event {para} When first sounded on the subject he was so miserable that they were almost hopeless A second allusion indeed gave less pain He began to think it was to be and that he could not prevent it a very promising step of the mind on its way to resignation Still however he was not happy Nay he appeared so much otherwise that his daughter 's courage failed She could not bear to see him suffering to know him fancying himself neglected and though her understanding almost acquiesced in the assurance of both the Mr Knightleys that when once the event were over his distress would be soon over too she hesitated she could not proceed {para} In this state of suspense they were befriended not by any sudden illumination of Mr Woodhouse 's mind or any wonderful change of his nervous system but by the operation of the same system in another way Mrs Weston 's poultry house was robbed one night of all her turkeys evidently by the ingenuity of man Other poultry yards in the neighbourhood also suffered Pilfering was housebreaking to Mr Woodhouse 's fears He was very uneasy and but for the sense of his son in law 's protection would have been under wretched alarm every night of his life The strength resolution and presence of mind of the Mr Knightleys commanded his fullest dependence While either of them protected him and his Hartfield was safe But Mr John Knightley must be in London again by the end of the first week in November {para} The result of this distress was that with a much more voluntary cheerful consent than his daughter had ever presumed to hope for at the moment she was able to fix her wedding day and Mr Elton was called on within a month from the marriage of Mr and Mrs Robert Martin to join the hands of Mr Knightley and Miss Woodhouse {para} The wedding was very much like other weddings where the parties have no taste for finery or parade and Mrs Elton from the particulars detailed by her husband thought it all extremely shabby and very inferior to her own Very little white satin very few lace veils a most pitiful business Selina would stare when she heard of it But in spite of these deficiencies the wishes the hopes the confidence the predictions of the small band of true friends who witnessed the ceremony were fully answered in the perfect happiness of the union {para} FINIS {para} MANSFIELD PARK 1814 {para} by {para} Jane Austen {para} CHAPTER I {para} About thirty years ago Miss Maria Ward of Huntingdon with only seven thousand pounds had the good luck to captivate Sir Thomas Bertram of Mansfield Park in the county of Northampton and to be thereby raised to the rank of a baronet 's lady with all the comforts and consequences of an handsome house and large income All Huntingdon exclaimed on the greatness of the match and her uncle the lawyer himself allowed her to be at least three thousand pounds short of any equitable claim to it She had two sisters to be benefited by her elevation and such of their acquaintance as thought Miss Ward and Miss Frances quite as handsome as Miss Maria did not scruple to predict their marrying with almost equal advantage But there certainly are not so many men of large fortune in the world as there are pretty women to deserve them Miss Ward at the end of half a dozen years found herself obliged to be attached to the Rev Mr Norris a friend of her brother in law with scarcely any private fortune and Miss Frances fared yet worse Miss Ward 's match indeed when it came to the point was not contemptible Sir Thomas being happily able to give his friend an income in the living of Mansfield and Mr and Mrs Norris began their career of conjugal felicity with very little less than a thousand a year But Miss Frances married in the common phrase to disoblige her family and by fixing on a lieutenant of marines without education fortune or connexions did it very thoroughly She could hardly have made a more untoward choice Sir Thomas Bertram had interest which from principle as well as pride from a general wish of doing right and a desire of seeing all that were connected with him in situations of respectability he would have been glad to exert for the advantage of Lady Bertram 's sister but her husband 's profession was such as no interest could reach and before he had time to devise any other method of assisting them an absolute breach between the sisters had taken place It was the natural result of the conduct of each party and such as a very imprudent marriage almost always produces To save herself from useless remonstrance Mrs Price never wrote to her family on the subject till actually married Lady Bertram who was a woman of very tranquil feelings and a temper remarkably easy and indolent would have contented herself with merely giving up her sister and thinking no more of the matter but Mrs Norris had a spirit of activity which could not be satisfied till she had written a long and angry letter to Fanny to point out the folly of her conduct and threaten her with all its possible ill consequences Mrs Price in her turn was injured and angry and an answer which comprehended each sister in its bitterness and bestowed such very disrespectful reflections on the pride of Sir Thomas as Mrs Norris could not possibly keep to herself put an end to all intercourse between them for a considerable period {para} Their homes were so distant and the circles in which they moved so distinct as almost to preclude the means of ever hearing of each other 's existence during the eleven following years or at least to make it very wonderful to Sir Thomas that Mrs Norris should ever have it in her power to tell them as she now and then did in an angry voice that Fanny had got another child By the end of eleven years however Mrs Price could no longer afford to cherish pride or resentment or to lose one connexion that might possibly assist her A large and still increasing family an husband disabled for active service but not the less equal to company and good liquor and a very small income to supply their wants made her eager to regain the friends she had so carelessly sacrificed and she addressed Lady Bertram in a letter which spoke so much contrition and despondence such a superfluity of children and such a want of almost everything else as could not but dispose them all to a reconciliation She was preparing for her ninth lying in and after bewailing the circumstance and imploring their countenance as sponsors to the expected child she could not conceal how important she felt they might be to the future maintenance of the eight already in being Her eldest was a boy of ten years old a fine spirited fellow who longed to be out in the world but what could she do Was there any chance of his being hereafter useful to Sir Thomas in the concerns of his West Indian property No situation would be beneath him or what did Sir Thomas think of Woolwich or how could a boy be sent out to the East {para} The letter was not unproductive It re established peace and kindness Sir Thomas sent friendly advice and professions Lady Bertram dispatched money and baby linen and Mrs Norris wrote the letters {para} Such were its immediate effects and within a twelvemonth a more important advantage to Mrs Price resulted from it Mrs Norris was often observing to the others that she could not get her poor sister and her family out of her head and that much as they had all done for her she seemed to be wanting to do more and at length she could not but own it to be her wish that poor Mrs Price should be relieved from the charge and expense of one child entirely out of her great number What if they were among them to undertake the care of her eldest daughter a girl now nine years old of an age to require more attention than her poor mother could possibly give The trouble and expense of it to them would be nothing compared with the benevolence of the action Lady Bertram agreed with her instantly I think we cannot do better said she let us send for the child {para} Sir Thomas could not give so instantaneous and unqualified a consent He debated and hesitated it was a serious charge a girl so brought up must be adequately provided for or there would be cruelty instead of kindness in taking her from her family He thought of his own four children of his two sons of cousins in love etc but no sooner had he deliberately begun to state his objections than Mrs Norris interrupted him with a reply to them all whether stated or not {para} My dear Sir Thomas I perfectly comprehend you and do justice to the generosity and delicacy of your notions which indeed are quite of a piece with your general conduct and I entirely agree with you in the main as to the propriety of doing everything one could by way of providing for a child one had in a manner taken into one 's own hands and I am sure I should be the last person in the world to withhold my mite upon such an occasion Having no children of my own who should I look to in any little matter I may ever have to bestow but the children of my sisters and I am sure Mr Norris is too just but you know I am a woman of few words and professions Do not let us be frightened from a good deed by a trifle Give a girl an education and introduce her properly into the world and ten to one but she has the means of settling well without farther expense to anybody A niece of ours Sir Thomas I may say or at least ofyours would not grow up in this neighbourhood without many advantages I don't say she would be so handsome as her cousins I dare say she would not but she would be introduced into the society of this country under such very favourable circumstances as in all human probability would get her a creditable establishment You are thinking of your sons but do not you know that of all things upon earth that is the least likely to happen brought up as they would be always together like brothers and sisters It is morally impossible I never knew an instance of it It is in fact the only sure way of providing against the connexion Suppose her a pretty girl and seen by Tom or Edmund for the first time seven years hence and I dare say there would be mischief The very idea of her having been suffered to grow up at a distance from us all in poverty and neglect would be enough to make either of the dear sweet tempered boys in love with her But breed her up with them from this time and suppose her even to have the beauty of an angel and she will never be more to either than a sister {para} There is a great deal of truth in what you say replied Sir Thomas and far be it from me to throw any fanciful impediment in the way of a plan which would be so consistent with the relative situations of each I only meant to observe that it ought not to be lightly engaged in and that to make it really serviceable to Mrs Price and creditable to ourselves we must secure to the child or consider ourselves engaged to secure to her hereafter as circumstances may arise the provision of a gentlewoman if no such establishment should offer as you are so sanguine in expecting {para} I thoroughly understand you cried Mrs Norris you are everything that is generous and considerate and I am sure we shall never disagree on this point Whatever I can do as you well know I am always ready enough to do for the good of those I love and though I could never feel for this little girl the hundredth part of the regard I bear your own dear children nor consider her in any respect so much my own I should hate myself if I were capable of neglecting her Is not she a sister 's child and could I bear to see her want while I had a bit of bread to give her My dear Sir Thomas with all my faults I have a warm heart and poor as I am would rather deny myself the necessaries of life than do an ungenerous thing So if you are not against it I will write to my poor sister tomorrow and make the proposal and as soon as matters are settled I will engage to get the child to Mansfield you shall have no trouble about it My own trouble you know I never regard I will send Nanny to London on purpose and she may have a bed at her cousin the saddler 's and the child be appointed to meet her there They may easily get her from Portsmouth to town by the coach under the care of any creditable person that may chance to be going I dare say there is always some reputable tradesman 's wife or other going up {para} Except to the attack on Nanny 's cousin Sir Thomas no longer made any objection and a more respectable though less economical rendezvous being accordingly substituted everything was considered as settled and the pleasures of so benevolent a scheme were already enjoyed The division of gratifying sensations ought not in strict justice to have been equal for Sir Thomas was fully resolved to be the real and consistent patron of the selected child and Mrs Norris had not the least intention of being at any expense whatever in her maintenance As far as walking talking and contriving reached she was thoroughly benevolent and nobody knew better how to dictate liberality to others but her love of money was equal to her love of directing and she knew quite as well how to save her own as to spend that of her friends Having married on a narrower income than she had been used to look forward to she had from the first fancied a very strict line of economy necessary and what was begun as a matter of prudence soon grew into a matter of choice as an object of that needful solicitude which there were no children to supply Had there been a family to provide for Mrs Norris might never have saved her money but having no care of that kind there was nothing to impede her frugality or lessen the comfort of making a yearly addition to an income which they had never lived up to Under this infatuating principle counteracted by no real affection for her sister it was impossible for her to aim at more than the credit of projecting and arranging so expensive a charity though perhaps she might so little know herself as to walk home to the Parsonage after this conversation in the happy belief of being the most liberal minded sister and aunt in the world {para} When the subject was brought forward again her views were more fully explained and in reply to Lady Bertram 's calm inquiry of Where shall the child come to first sister to you or to us Sir Thomas heard with some surprise that it would be totally out of Mrs Norris 's power to take any share in the personal charge of her He had been considering her as a particularly welcome addition at the Parsonage as a desirable companion to an aunt who had no children of her own but he found himself wholly mistaken Mrs Norris was sorry to say that the little girl 's staying with them at least as things then were was quite out of the question Poor Mr Norris 's indifferent state of health made it an impossibility he could no more bear the noise of a child than he could fly if indeed he should ever get well of his gouty complaints it would be a different matter she should then be glad to take her turn and think nothing of the inconvenience but just now poor Mr Norris took up every moment of her time and the very mention of such a thing she was sure would distract him {para} Then she had better come to us said Lady Bertram with the utmost composure After a short pause Sir Thomas added with dignity Yes let her home be in this house We will endeavour to do our duty by her and she will at least have the advantage of companions of her own age and of a regular instructress {para} Very true cried Mrs Norris which are both very important considerations and it will be just the same to Miss Lee whether she has three girls to teach or only two there can be no difference I only wish I could be more useful but you see I do all in my power I am not one of those that spare their own trouble and Nanny shall fetch her however it may put me to inconvenience to have my chief counsellor away for three days I suppose sister you will put the child in the little white attic near the old nurseries It will be much the best place for her so near Miss Lee and not far from the girls and close by the housemaids who could either of them help to dress her you know and take care of her clothes for I suppose you would not think it fair to expect Ellis to wait on her as well as the others Indeed I do not see that you could possibly place her anywhere else {para} Lady Bertram made no opposition {para} I hope she will prove a well disposed girl continued Mrs Norris and be sensible of her uncommon good fortune in having such friends {para} Should her disposition be really bad said Sir Thomas we must not for our own children 's sake continue her in the family but there is no reason to expect so great an evil We shall probably see much to wish altered in her and must prepare ourselves for gross ignorance some meanness of opinions and very distressing vulgarity of manner but these are not incurable faults nor I trust can they be dangerous for her associates Had my daughters been younger than herself I should have considered the introduction of such a companion as a matter of very serious moment but as it is I hope there can be nothing to fear for them and everything to hope for her from the association {para} That is exactly what I think cried Mrs Norris and what I was saying to my husband this morning It will be an education for the child said I only being with her cousins if Miss Lee taught her nothing she would learn to be good and clever from them {para} I hope she will not tease my poor pug said Lady Bertram I have but just got Julia to leave it alone {para} There will be some difficulty in our way Mrs Norris observed Sir Thomas as to the distinction proper to be made between the girls as they grow up how to preserve in the minds of my daughters the consciousness of what they are without making them think too lowly of their cousin and how without depressing her spirits too far to make her remember that she is not a Miss Bertram I should wish to see them very good friends and would on no account authorise in my girls the smallest degree of arrogance towards their relation but still they cannot be equals Their rank fortune rights and expectations will always be different It is a point of great delicacy and you must assist us in our endeavours to choose exactly the right line of conduct {para} Mrs Norris was quite at his service and though she perfectly agreed with him as to its being a most difficult thing encouraged him to hope that between them it would be easily managed {para} It will be readily believed that Mrs Norris did not write to her sister in vain Mrs Price seemed rather surprised that a girl should be fixed on when she had so many fine boys but accepted the offer most thankfully assuring them of her daughter 's being a very well disposed good humoured girl and trusting they would never have cause to throw her off She spoke of her farther as somewhat delicate and puny but was sanguine in the hope of her being materially better for change of air Poor woman she probably thought change of air might agree with many of her children {para} CHAPTER II {para} The little girl performed her long journey in safety and at Northampton was met by Mrs Norris who thus regaled in the credit of being foremost to welcome her and in the importance of leading her in to the others and recommending her to their kindness {para} Fanny Price was at this time just ten years old and though there might not be much in her first appearance to captivate there was at least nothing to disgust her relations She was small of her age with no glow of complexion nor any other striking beauty exceedingly timid and shy and shrinking from notice but her air though awkward was not vulgar her voice was sweet and when she spoke her countenance was pretty Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram received her very kindly and Sir Thomas seeing how much she needed encouragement tried to be all that was conciliating but he had to work against a most untoward gravity of deportment and Lady Bertram without taking half so much trouble or speaking one word where he spoke ten by the mere aid of a good humoured smile became immediately the less awful character of the two {para} The young people were all at home and sustained their share in the introduction very well with much good humour and no embarrassment at least on the part of the sons who at seventeen and sixteen and tall of their age had all the grandeur of men in the eyes of their little cousin The two girls were more at a loss from being younger and in greater awe of their father who addressed them on the occasion with rather an injudicious particularity But they were too much used to company and praise to have anything like natural shyness and their confidence increasing from their cousin 's total want of it they were soon able to take a full survey of her face and her frock in easy indifference {para} They were a remarkably fine family the sons very well looking the daughters decidedly handsome and all of them well grown and forward of their age which produced as striking a difference between the cousins in person as education had given to their address and no one would have supposed the girls so nearly of an age as they really were There were in fact but two years between the youngest and Fanny Julia Bertram was only twelve and Maria but a year older The little visitor meanwhile was as unhappy as possible Afraid of everybody ashamed of herself and longing for the home she had left she knew not how to look up and could scarcely speak to be heard or without crying Mrs Norris had been talking to her the whole way from Northampton of her wonderful good fortune and the extraordinary degree of gratitude and good behaviour which it ought to produce and her consciousness of misery was therefore increased by the idea of its being a wicked thing for her not to be happy The fatigue too of so long a journey became soon no trifling evil In vain were the well meant condescensions of Sir Thomas and all the officious prognostications of Mrs Norris that she would be a good girl in vain did Lady Bertram smile and make her sit on the sofa with herself and pug and vain was even the sight of a gooseberry tart towards giving her comfort she could scarcely swallow two mouthfuls before tears interrupted her and sleep seeming to be her likeliest friend she was taken to finish her sorrows in bed {para} This is not a very promising beginning said Mrs Norris when Fanny had left the room After all that I said to her as we came along I thought she would have behaved better I told her how much might depend upon her acquitting herself well at first I wish there may not be a little sulkiness of temper her poor mother had a good deal but we must make allowances for such a child and I do not know that her being sorry to leave her home is really against her for with all its faults it was her home and she cannot as yet understand how much she has changed for the better but then there is moderation in all things {para} It required a longer time however than Mrs Norris was inclined to allow to reconcile Fanny to the novelty of Mansfield Park and the separation from everybody she had been used to Her feelings were very acute and too little understood to be properly attended to Nobody meant to be unkind but nobody put themselves out of their way to secure her comfort {para} The holiday allowed to the Miss Bertrams the next day on purpose to afford leisure for getting acquainted with and entertaining their young cousin produced little union They could not but hold her cheap on finding that she had but two sashes and had never learned French and when they perceived her to be little struck with the duet they were so good as to play they could do no more than make her a generous present of some of their least valued toys and leave her to herself while they adjourned to whatever might be the favourite holiday sport of the moment making artificial flowers or wasting gold paper {para} Fanny whether near or from her cousins whether in the schoolroom the drawing room or the shrubbery was equally forlorn finding something to fear in every person and place She was disheartened by Lady Bertram 's silence awed by Sir Thomas 's grave looks and quite overcome by Mrs Norris 's admonitions Her elder cousins mortified her by reflections on her size and abashed her by noticing her shyness Miss Lee wondered at her ignorance and the maid servants sneered at her clothes and when to these sorrows was added the idea of the brothers and sisters among whom she had always been important as playfellow instructress and nurse the despondence that sunk her little heart was severe {para} The grandeur of the house astonished but could not console her The rooms were too large for her to move in with ease whatever she touched she expected to injure and she crept about in constant terror of something or other often retreating towards her own chamber to cry and the little girl who was spoken of in the drawing room when she left it at night as seeming so desirably sensible of her peculiar good fortune ended every day 's sorrows by sobbing herself to sleep A week had passed in this way and no suspicion of it conveyed by her quiet passive manner when she was found one morning by her cousin Edmund the youngest of the sons sitting crying on the attic stairs {para} My dear little cousin said he with all the gentleness of an excellent nature what can be the matter And sitting down by her he was at great pains to overcome her shame in being so surprised and persuade her to speak openly Was she ill or was anybody angry with her or had she quarrelled with Maria and Julia or was she puzzled about anything in her lesson that he could explain Did she in short want anything he could possibly get her or do for her For a long while no answer could be obtained beyond a no no not at all no thank you but he still persevered and no sooner had he begun to revert to her own home than her increased sobs explained to him where the grievance lay He tried to console her {para} You are sorry to leave Mama my dear little Fanny said he which shows you to be a very good girl but you must remember that you are with relations and friends who all love you and wish to make you happy Let us walk out in the park and you shall tell me all about your brothers and sisters {para} On pursuing the subject he found that dear as all these brothers and sisters generally were there was one among them who ran more in her thoughts than the rest It was William whom she talked of most and wanted most to see William the eldest a year older than herself her constant companion and friend her advocate with her mother of whom he was the darling in every distress William did not like she should come away he had told her he should miss her very much indeed But William will write to you I dare say Yes he had promised he would but he had told her to write first And when shall you do it She hung her head and answered hesitatingly she did not know she had not any paper {para} If that be all your difficulty I will furnish you with paper and every other material and you may write your letter whenever you choose Would it make you happy to write to William {para} Yes very {para} Then let it be done now Come with me into the breakfast room we shall find everything there and be sure of having the room to ourselves {para} But cousin will it go to the post {para} Yes depend upon me it shall it shall go with the other letters and as your uncle will frank it it will cost William nothing {para} My uncle repeated Fanny with a frightened look {para} Yes when you have written the letter I will take it to my father to frank {para} Fanny thought it a bold measure but offered no further resistance and they went together into the breakfast room where Edmund prepared her paper and ruled her lines with all the goodwill that her brother could himself have felt and probably with somewhat more exactness He continued with her the whole time of her writing to assist her with his penknife or his orthography as either were wanted and added to these attentions which she felt very much a kindness to her brother which delighted her beyond all the rest He wrote with his own hand his love to his cousin William and sent him half a guinea under the seal Fanny 's feelings on the occasion were such as she believed herself incapable of expressing but her countenance and a few artless words fully conveyed all their gratitude and delight and her cousin began to find her an interesting object He talked to her more and from all that she said was convinced of her having an affectionate heart and a strong desire of doing right and he could perceive her to be farther entitled to attention by great sensibility of her situation and great timidity He had never knowingly given her pain but he now felt that she required more positive kindness and with that view endeavoured in the first place to lessen her fears of them all and gave her especially a great deal of good advice as to playing with Maria and Julia and being as merry as possible {para} From this day Fanny grew more comfortable She felt that she had a friend and the kindness of her cousin Edmund gave her better spirits with everybody else The place became less strange and the people less formidable and if there were some amongst them whom she could not cease to fear she began at least to know their ways and to catch the best manner of conforming to them The little rusticities and awkwardnesses which had at first made grievous inroads on the tranquillity of all and not least of herself necessarily wore away and she was no longer materially afraid to appear before her uncle nor did her aunt Norris 's voice make her start very much To her cousins she became occasionally an acceptable companion Though unworthy from inferiority of age and strength to be their constant associate their pleasures and schemes were sometimes of a nature to make a third very useful especially when that third was of an obliging yielding temper and they could not but own when their aunt inquired into her faults or their brother Edmund urged her claims to their kindness that Fanny was good natured enough {para} Edmund was uniformly kind himself and she had nothing worse to endure on the part of Tom than that sort of merriment which a young man of seventeen will always think fair with a child of ten He was just entering into life full of spirits and with all the liberal dispositions of an eldest son who feels born only for expense and enjoyment His kindness to his little cousin was consistent with his situation and rights he made her some very pretty presents and laughed at her {para} As her appearance and spirits improved Sir Thomas and Mrs Norris thought with greater satisfaction of their benevolent plan and it was pretty soon decided between them that though far from clever she showed a tractable disposition and seemed likely to give them little trouble A mean opinion of her abilities was not confined to them Fanny could read work and write but she had been taught nothing more and as her cousins found her ignorant of many things with which they had been long familiar they thought her prodigiously stupid and for the first two or three weeks were continually bringing some fresh report of it into the drawing room Dear mama only think my cousin cannot put the map of Europe together or my cousin cannot tell the principal rivers in Russia or she never heard of Asia Minor or she does not know the difference between water colours and crayons How strange Did you ever hear anything so stupid {para} My dear their considerate aunt would reply it is very bad but you must not expect everybody to be as forward and quick at learning as yourself {para} But aunt she is really so very ignorant Do you know we asked her last night which way she would go to get to Ireland and she said she should cross to the Isle of Wight She thinks of nothing but the Isle of Wight and she calls it the Island as if there were no other island in the world I am sure I should have been ashamed of myself if I had not known better long before I was so old as she is I cannot remember the time when I did not know a great deal that she has not the least notion of yet How long ago it is aunt since we used to repeat the chronological order of the kings of England with the dates of their accession and most of the principal events of their reigns {para} Yes added the other and of the Roman emperors as low as Severus besides a great deal of the heathen mythology and all the metals semi metals planets and distinguished philosophers {para} Very true indeed my dears but you are blessed with wonderful memories and your poor cousin has probably none at all There is a vast deal of difference in memories as well as in everything else and therefore you must make allowance for your cousin and pity her deficiency And remember that if you are ever so forward and clever yourselves you should always be modest for much as you know already there is a great deal more for you to learn {para} Yes I know there is till I am seventeen But I must tell you another thing of Fanny so odd and so stupid Do you know she says she does not want to learn either music or drawing {para} To be sure my dear that is very stupid indeed and shows a great want of genius and emulation But all things considered I do not know whether it is not as well that it should be so for though you know owing to me your papa and mama are so good as to bring her up with you it is not at all necessary that she should be as accomplished as you are on the contrary it is much more desirable that there should be a difference {para} Such were the counsels by which Mrs Norris assisted to form her nieces minds and it is not very wonderful that with all their promising talents and early information they should be entirely deficient in the less common acquirements of self knowledge generosity and humility In everything but disposition they were admirably taught Sir Thomas did not know what was wanting because though a truly anxious father he was not outwardly affectionate and the reserve of his manner repressed all the flow of their spirits before him {para} To the education of her daughters Lady Bertram paid not the smallest attention She had not time for such cares She was a woman who spent her days in sitting nicely dressed on a sofa doing some long piece of needlework of little use and no beauty thinking more of her pug than her children but very indulgent to the latter when it did not put herself to inconvenience guided in everything important by Sir Thomas and in smaller concerns by her sister Had she possessed greater leisure for the service of her girls she would probably have supposed it unnecessary for they were under the care of a governess with proper masters and could want nothing more As for Fanny 's being stupid at learning she could only say it was very unlucky but some people were stupid and Fanny must take more pains she did not know what else was to be done and except her being so dull she must add she saw no harm in the poor little thing and always found her very handy and quick in carrying messages and fetching what she wanted {para} Fanny with all her faults of ignorance and timidity was fixed at Mansfield Park and learning to transfer in its favour much of her attachment to her former home grew up there not unhappily among her cousins There was no positive ill nature in Maria or Julia and though Fanny was often mortified by their treatment of her she thought too lowly of her own claims to feel injured by it {para} From about the time of her entering the family Lady Bertram in consequence of a little ill health and a great deal of indolence gave up the house in town which she had been used to occupy every spring and remained wholly in the country leaving Sir Thomas to attend his duty in Parliament with whatever increase or diminution of comfort might arise from her absence In the country therefore the Miss Bertrams continued to exercise their memories practise their duets and grow tall and womanly and their father saw them becoming in person manner and accomplishments everything that could satisfy his anxiety His eldest son was careless and extravagant and had already given him much uneasiness but his other children promised him nothing but good His daughters he felt while they retained the name of Bertram must be giving it new grace and in quitting it he trusted would extend its respectable alliances and the character of Edmund his strong good sense and uprightness of mind bid most fairly for utility honour and happiness to himself and all his connexions He was to be a clergyman {para} Amid the cares and the complacency which his own children suggested Sir Thomas did not forget to do what he could for the children of Mrs Price he assisted her liberally in the education and disposal of her sons as they became old enough for a determinate pursuit and Fanny though almost totally separated from her family was sensible of the truest satisfaction in hearing of any kindness towards them or of anything at all promising in their situation or conduct Once and once only in the course of many years had she the happiness of being with William Of the rest she saw nothing nobody seemed to think of her ever going amongst them again even for a visit nobody at home seemed to want her but William determining soon after her removal to be a sailor was invited to spend a week with his sister in Northamptonshire before he went to sea Their eager affection in meeting their exquisite delight in being together their hours of happy mirth and moments of serious conference may be imagined as well as the sanguine views and spirits of the boy even to the last and the misery of the girl when he left her Luckily the visit happened in the Christmas holidays when she could directly look for comfort to her cousin Edmund and he told her such charming things of what William was to do and be hereafter in consequence of his profession as made her gradually admit that the separation might have some use Edmund 's friendship never failed her his leaving Eton for Oxford made no change in his kind dispositions and only afforded more frequent opportunities of proving them Without any display of doing more than the rest or any fear of doing too much he was always true to her interests and considerate of her feelings trying to make her good qualities understood and to conquer the diffidence which prevented their being more apparent giving her advice consolation and encouragement {para} Kept back as she was by everybody else his single support could not bring her forward but his attentions were otherwise of the highest importance in assisting the improvement of her mind and extending its pleasures He knew her to be clever to have a quick apprehension as well as good sense and a fondness for reading which properly directed must be an education in itself Miss Lee taught her French and heard her read the daily portion of history but he recommended the books which charmed her leisure hours he encouraged her taste and corrected her judgment he made reading useful by talking to her of what she read and heightened its attraction by judicious praise In return for such services she loved him better than anybody in the world except William her heart was divided between the two {para} CHAPTER III {para} The first event of any importance in the family was the death of Mr Norris which happened when Fanny was about fifteen and necessarily introduced alterations and novelties Mrs Norris on quitting the Parsonage removed first to the Park and afterwards to a small house of Sir Thomas 's in the village and consoled herself for the loss of her husband by considering that she could do very well without him and for her reduction of income by the evident necessity of stricter economy {para} The living was hereafter for Edmund and had his uncle died a few years sooner it would have been duly given to some friend to hold till he were old enough for orders But Tom 's extravagance had previous to that event been so great as to render a different disposal of the next presentation necessary and the younger brother must help to pay for the pleasures of the elder There was another family living actually held for Edmund but though this circumstance had made the arrangement somewhat easier to Sir Thomas 's conscience he could not but feel it to be an act of injustice and he earnestly tried to impress his eldest son with the same conviction in the hope of its producing a better effect than anything he had yet been able to say or do {para} I blush for you Tom said he in his most dignified manner I blush for the expedient which I am driven on and I trust I may pity your feelings as a brother on the occasion You have robbed Edmund for ten twenty thirty years perhaps for life of more than half the income which ought to be his It may hereafter be in my power or in yours I hope it will to procure him better preferment but it must not be forgotten that no benefit of that sort would have been beyond his natural claims on us and that nothing can in fact be an equivalent for the certain advantage which he is now obliged to forego through the urgency of your debts {para} Tom listened with some shame and some sorrow but escaping as quickly as possible could soon with cheerful selfishness reflect firstly that he had not been half so much in debt as some of his friends secondly that his father had made a most tiresome piece of work of it and thirdly that the future incumbent whoever he might be would in all probability die very soon {para} On Mr Norris 's death the presentation became the right of a Dr Grant who came consequently to reside at Mansfield and on proving to be a hearty man of forty five seemed likely to disappoint Mr Bertram 's calculations But no he was a short necked apoplectic sort of fellow and plied well with good things would soon pop off {para} He had a wife about fifteen years his junior but no children and they entered the neighbourhood with the usual fair report of being very respectable agreeable people {para} The time was now come when Sir Thomas expected his sister in law to claim her share in their niece the change in Mrs Norris 's situation and the improvement in Fanny 's age seeming not merely to do away any former objection to their living together but even to give it the most decided eligibility and as his own circumstances were rendered less fair than heretofore by some recent losses on his West India estate in addition to his eldest son 's extravagance it became not undesirable to himself to be relieved from the expense of her support and the obligation of her future provision In the fullness of his belief that such a thing must be he mentioned its probability to his wife and the first time of the subject 's occurring to her again happening to be when Fanny was present she calmly observed to her So Fanny you are going to leave us and live with my sister How shall you like it {para} Fanny was too much surprised to do more than repeat her aunt 's words Going to leave you {para} Yes my dear why should you be astonished You have been five years with us and my sister always meant to take you when Mr Norris died But you must come up and tack on my patterns all the same {para} The news was as disagreeable to Fanny as it had been unexpected She had never received kindness from her aunt Norris and could not love her {para} I shall be very sorry to go away said she with a faltering voice {para} Yes I dare say you will that 's natural enough I suppose you have had as little to vex you since you came into this house as any creature in the world {para} I hope I am not ungrateful aunt said Fanny modestly {para} No my dear I hope not I have always found you a very good girl {para} And am I never to live here again {para} Never my dear but you are sure of a comfortable home It can make very little difference to you whether you are in one house or the other {para} Fanny left the room with a very sorrowful heart she could not feel the difference to be so small she could not think of living with her aunt with anything like satisfaction As soon as she met with Edmund she told him her distress {para} Cousin said she something is going to happen which I do not like at all and though you have often persuaded me into being reconciled to things that I disliked at first you will not be able to do it now I am going to live entirely with my aunt Norris {para} Indeed {para} Yes my aunt Bertram has just told me so It is quite settled I am to leave Mansfield Park and go to the White House I suppose as soon as she is removed there {para} Well Fanny and if the plan were not unpleasant to you I should call it an excellent one {para} Oh cousin {para} It has everything else in its favour My aunt is acting like a sensible woman in wishing for you She is choosing a friend and companion exactly where she ought and I am glad her love of money does not interfere You will be what you ought to be to her I hope it does not distress you very much Fanny {para} Indeed it does I cannot like it I love this house and everything in it I shall love nothing there You know how uncomfortable I feel with her {para} I can say nothing for her manner to you as a child but it was the same with us all or nearly so She never knew how to be pleasant to children But you are now of an age to be treated better I think she is behaving better already and when you are her only companion you must be important to her {para} I can never be important to any one {para} What is to prevent you {para} Everything My situation my foolishness and awkwardness {para} As to your foolishness and awkwardness my dear Fanny believe me you never have a shadow of either but in using the words so improperly There is no reason in the world why you should not be important where you are known You have good sense and a sweet temper and I am sure you have a grateful heart that could never receive kindness without wishing to return it I do not know any better qualifications for a friend and companion {para} You are too kind said Fanny colouring at such praise how shall I ever thank you as I ought for thinking so well of me Oh cousin if I am to go away I shall remember your goodness to the last moment of my life {para} Why indeed Fanny I should hope to be remembered at such a distance as the White House You speak as if you were going two hundred miles off instead of only across the park but you will belong to us almost as much as ever The two families will be meeting every day in the year The only difference will be that living with your aunt you will necessarily be brought forward as you ought to be Here there are too many whom you can hide behind but with her you will be forced to speak for yourself {para} Oh I do not say so {para} I must say it and say it with pleasure Mrs Norris is much better fitted than my mother for having the charge of you now She is of a temper to do a great deal for anybody she really interests herself about and she will force you to do justice to your natural powers {para} Fanny sighed and said I cannot see things as you do but I ought to believe you to be right rather than myself and I am very much obliged to you for trying to reconcile me to what must be If I could suppose my aunt really to care for me it would be delightful to feel myself of consequence to anybody Here I know I am of none and yet I love the place so well {para} The place Fanny is what you will not quit though you quit the house You will have as free a command of the park and gardens as ever Even your constant little heart need not take fright at such a nominal change You will have the same walks to frequent the same library to choose from the same people to look at the same horse to ride {para} Very true Yes dear old grey pony Ah cousin when I remember how much I used to dread riding what terrors it gave me to hear it talked of as likely to do me good oh how I have trembled at my uncle 's opening his lips if horses were talked of and then think of the kind pains you took to reason and persuade me out of my fears and convince me that I should like it after a little while and feel how right you proved to be I am inclined to hope you may always prophesy as well {para} And I am quite convinced that your being with Mrs Norris will be as good for your mind as riding has been for your health and as much for your ultimate happiness too {para} So ended their discourse which for any very appropriate service it could render Fanny might as well have been spared for Mrs Norris had not the smallest intention of taking her It had never occurred to her on the present occasion but as a thing to be carefully avoided To prevent its being expected she had fixed on the smallest habitation which could rank as genteel among the buildings of Mansfield parish the White House being only just large enough to receive herself and her servants and allow a spare room for a friend of which she made a very particular point The spare rooms at the Parsonage had never been wanted but the absolute necessity of a spare room for a friend was now never forgotten Not all her precautions however could save her from being suspected of something better or perhaps her very display of the importance of a spare room might have misled Sir Thomas to suppose it really intended for Fanny Lady Bertram soon brought the matter to a certainty by carelessly observing to Mrs Norris {para} I think sister we need not keep Miss Lee any longer when Fanny goes to live with you {para} Mrs Norris almost started Live with me dear Lady Bertram what do you mean {para} Is she not to live with you I thought you had settled it with Sir Thomas {para} Me never I never spoke a syllable about it to Sir Thomas nor he to me Fanny live with me the last thing in the world for me to think of or for anybody to wish that really knows us both Good heaven what could I do with Fanny Me a poor helpless forlorn widow unfit for anything my spirits quite broke down what could I do with a girl at her time of life A girl of fifteen the very age of all others to need most attention and care and put the cheerfullest spirits to the test Sure Sir Thomas could not seriously expect such a thing Sir Thomas is too much my friend Nobody that wishes me well I am sure would propose it How came Sir Thomas to speak to you about it {para} Indeed I do not know I suppose he thought it best {para} But what did he say He could not say he wished me to take Fanny I am sure in his heart he could not wish me to do it {para} No he only said he thought it very likely and I thought so too We both thought it would be a comfort to you But if you do not like it there is no more to be said She is no encumbrance here {para} Dear sister if you consider my unhappy state how can she be any comfort to me Here am I a poor desolate widow deprived of the best of husbands my health gone in attending and nursing him my spirits still worse all my peace in this world destroyed with hardly enough to support me in the rank of a gentlewoman and enable me to live so as not to disgrace the memory of the dear departed what possible comfort could I have in taking such a charge upon me as Fanny If I could wish it for my own sake I would not do so unjust a thing by the poor girl She is in good hands and sure of doing well I must struggle through my sorrows and difficulties as I can {para} Then you will not mind living by yourself quite alone {para} Lady Bertram I do not complain I know I cannot live as I have done but I must retrench where I can and learn to be a better manager I have been a liberal housekeeper enough but I shall not be ashamed to practise economy now My situation is as much altered as my income A great many things were due from poor Mr Norris as clergyman of the parish that cannot be expected from me It is unknown how much was consumed in our kitchen by odd comers and goers At the White House matters must be better looked after I must live within my income or I shall be miserable and I own it would give me great satisfaction to be able to do rather more to lay by a little at the end of the year {para} I dare say you will You always do don't you {para} My object Lady Bertram is to be of use to those that come after me It is for your children 's good that I wish to be richer I have nobody else to care for but I should be very glad to think I could leave a little trifle among them worth their having {para} You are very good but do not trouble yourself about them They are sure of being well provided for Sir Thomas will take care of that {para} Why you know Sir Thomas 's means will be rather straitened if the Antigua estate is to make such poor returns {para} Oh that will soon be settled Sir Thomas has been writing about it I know {para} Well Lady Bertram said Mrs Norris moving to go I can only say that my sole desire is to be of use to your family and so if Sir Thomas should ever speak again about my taking Fanny you will be able to say that my health and spirits put it quite out of the question besides that I really should not have a bed to give her for I must keep a spare room for a friend {para} Lady Bertram repeated enough of this conversation to her husband to convince him how much he had mistaken his sister in law 's views and she was from that moment perfectly safe from all expectation or the slightest allusion to it from him He could not but wonder at her refusing to do anything for a niece whom she had been so forward to adopt but as she took early care to make him as well as Lady Bertram understand that whatever she possessed was designed for their family he soon grew reconciled to a distinction which at the same time that it was advantageous and complimentary to them would enable him better to provide for Fanny himself {para} Fanny soon learnt how unnecessary had been her fears of a removal and her spontaneous untaught felicity on the discovery conveyed some consolation to Edmund for his disappointment in what he had expected to be so essentially serviceable to her Mrs Norris took possession of the White House the Grants arrived at the Parsonage and these events over everything at Mansfield went on for some time as usual {para} The Grants showing a disposition to be friendly and sociable gave great satisfaction in the main among their new acquaintance They had their faults and Mrs Norris soon found them out The Doctor was very fond of eating and would have a good dinner every day and Mrs Grant instead of contriving to gratify him at little expense gave her cook as high wages as they did at Mansfield Park and was scarcely ever seen in her offices Mrs Norris could not speak with any temper of such grievances nor of the quantity of butter and eggs that were regularly consumed in the house Nobody loved plenty and hospitality more than herself nobody more hated pitiful doings the Parsonage she believed had never been wanting in comforts of any sort had never borne a bad character in her time but this was a way of going on that she could not understand A fine lady in a country parsonage was quite out of place Her store room she thought might have been good enough for Mrs Grant to go into Inquire where she would she could not find out that Mrs Grant had ever had more than five thousand pounds {para} Lady Bertram listened without much interest to this sort of invective She could not enter into the wrongs of an economist but she felt all the injuries of beauty in Mrs Grant 's being so well settled in life without being handsome and expressed her astonishment on that point almost as often though not so diffusely as Mrs Norris discussed the other {para} These opinions had been hardly canvassed a year before another event arose of such importance in the family as might fairly claim some place in the thoughts and conversation of the ladies Sir Thomas found it expedient to go to Antigua himself for the better arrangement of his affairs and he took his eldest son with him in the hope of detaching him from some bad connexions at home They left England with the probability of being nearly a twelvemonth absent {para} The necessity of the measure in a pecuniary light and the hope of its utility to his son reconciled Sir Thomas to the effort of quitting the rest of his family and of leaving his daughters to the direction of others at their present most interesting time of life He could not think Lady Bertram quite equal to supply his place with them or rather to perform what should have been her own but in Mrs Norris 's watchful attention and in Edmund 's judgment he had sufficient confidence to make him go without fears for their conduct {para} Lady Bertram did not at all like to have her husband leave her but she was not disturbed by any alarm for his safety or solicitude for his comfort being one of those persons who think nothing can be dangerous or difficult or fatiguing to anybody but themselves {para} The Miss Bertrams were much to be pitied on the occasion not for their sorrow but for their want of it Their father was no object of love to them he had never seemed the friend of their pleasures and his absence was unhappily most welcome They were relieved by it from all restraint and without aiming at one gratification that would probably have been forbidden by Sir Thomas they felt themselves immediately at their own disposal and to have every indulgence within their reach Fanny 's relief and her consciousness of it were quite equal to her cousins but a more tender nature suggested that her feelings were ungrateful and she really grieved because she could not grieve Sir Thomas who had done so much for her and her brothers and who was gone perhaps never to return that she should see him go without a tear it was a shameful insensibility He had said to her moreover on the very last morning that he hoped she might see William again in the course of the ensuing winter and had charged her to write and invite him to Mansfield as soon as the squadron to which he belonged should be known to be in England This was so thoughtful and kind and would he only have smiled upon her and called her my dear Fanny while he said it every former frown or cold address might have been forgotten But he had ended his speech in a way to sink her in sad mortification by adding If William does come to Mansfield I hope you may be able to convince him that the many years which have passed since you parted have not been spent on your side entirely without improvement though I fear he must find his sister at sixteen in some respects too much like his sister at ten She cried bitterly over this reflection when her uncle was gone and her cousins on seeing her with red eyes set her down as a hypocrite {para} CHAPTER IV {para} Tom Bertram had of late spent so little of his time at home that he could be only nominally missed and Lady Bertram was soon astonished to find how very well they did even without his father how well Edmund could supply his place in carving talking to the steward writing to the attorney settling with the servants and equally saving her from all possible fatigue or exertion in every particular but that of directing her letters {para} The earliest intelligence of the travellers safe arrival at Antigua after a favourable voyage was received though not before Mrs Norris had been indulging in very dreadful fears and trying to make Edmund participate them whenever she could get him alone and as she depended on being the first person made acquainted with any fatal catastrophe she had already arranged the manner of breaking it to all the others when Sir Thomas 's assurances of their both being alive and well made it necessary to lay by her agitation and affectionate preparatory speeches for a while {para} The winter came and passed without their being called for the accounts continued perfectly good and Mrs Norris in promoting gaieties for her nieces assisting their toilets displaying their accomplishments and looking about for their future husbands had so much to do as in addition to all her own household cares some interference in those of her sister and Mrs Grant 's wasteful doings to overlook left her very little occasion to be occupied in fears for the absent {para} The Miss Bertrams were now fully established among the belles of the neighbourhood and as they joined to beauty and brilliant acquirements a manner naturally easy and carefully formed to general civility and obligingness they possessed its favour as well as its admiration Their vanity was in such good order that they seemed to be quite free from it and gave themselves no airs while the praises attending such behaviour secured and brought round by their aunt served to strengthen them in believing they had no faults {para} Lady Bertram did not go into public with her daughters She was too indolent even to accept a mother 's gratification in witnessing their success and enjoyment at the expense of any personal trouble and the charge was made over to her sister who desired nothing better than a post of such honourable representation and very thoroughly relished the means it afforded her of mixing in society without having horses to hire {para} Fanny had no share in the festivities of the season but she enjoyed being avowedly useful as her aunt 's companion when they called away the rest of the family and as Miss Lee had left Mansfield she naturally became everything to Lady Bertram during the night of a ball or a party She talked to her listened to her read to her and the tranquillity of such evenings her perfect security in such a tete a tete from any sound of unkindness was unspeakably welcome to a mind which had seldom known a pause in its alarms or embarrassments As to her cousins gaieties she loved to hear an account of them especially of the balls and whom Edmund had danced with but thought too lowly of her own situation to imagine she should ever be admitted to the same and listened therefore without an idea of any nearer concern in them Upon the whole it was a comfortable winter to her for though it brought no William to England the never failing hope of his arrival was worth much {para} The ensuing spring deprived her of her valued friend the old grey pony and for some time she was in danger of feeling the loss in her health as well as in her affections for in spite of the acknowledged importance of her riding on horse back no measures were taken for mounting her again because as it was observed by her aunts she might ride one of her cousin 's horses at any time when they did not want them and as the Miss Bertrams regularly wanted their horses every fine day and had no idea of carrying their obliging manners to the sacrifice of any real pleasure that time of course never came They took their cheerful rides in the fine mornings of April and May and Fanny either sat at home the whole day with one aunt or walked beyond her strength at the instigation of the other Lady Bertram holding exercise to be as unnecessary for everybody as it was unpleasant to herself and Mrs Norris who was walking all day thinking everybody ought to walk as much Edmund was absent at this time or the evil would have been earlier remedied When he returned to understand how Fanny was situated and perceived its ill effects there seemed with him but one thing to be done and that Fanny must have a horse was the resolute declaration with which he opposed whatever could be urged by the supineness of his mother or the economy of his aunt to make it appear unimportant Mrs Norris could not help thinking that some steady old thing might be found among the numbers belonging to the Park that would do vastly well or that one might be borrowed of the steward or that perhaps Dr Grant might now and then lend them the pony he sent to the post She could not but consider it as absolutely unnecessary and even improper that Fanny should have a regular lady 's horse of her own in the style of her cousins She was sure Sir Thomas had never intended it and she must say that to be making such a purchase in his absence and adding to the great expenses of his stable at a time when a large part of his income was unsettled seemed to her very unjustifiable Fanny must have a horse was Edmund 's only reply Mrs Norris could not see it in the same light Lady Bertram did she entirely agreed with her son as to the necessity of it and as to its being considered necessary by his father she only pleaded against there being any hurry she only wanted him to wait till Sir Thomas 's return and then Sir Thomas might settle it all himself He would be at home in September and where would be the harm of only waiting till September {para} Though Edmund was much more displeased with his aunt than with his mother as evincing least regard for her niece he could not help paying more attention to what she said and at length determined on a method of proceeding which would obviate the risk of his father 's thinking he had done too much and at the same time procure for Fanny the immediate means of exercise which he could not bear she should be without He had three horses of his own but not one that would carry a woman Two of them were hunters the third a useful road horse this third he resolved to exchange for one that his cousin might ride he knew where such a one was to be met with and having once made up his mind the whole business was soon completed The new mare proved a treasure with a very little trouble she became exactly calculated for the purpose and Fanny was then put in almost full possession of her She had not supposed before that anything could ever suit her like the old grey pony but her delight in Edmund 's mare was far beyond any former pleasure of the sort and the addition it was ever receiving in the consideration of that kindness from which her pleasure sprung was beyond all her words to express She regarded her cousin as an example of everything good and great as possessing worth which no one but herself could ever appreciate and as entitled to such gratitude from her as no feelings could be strong enough to pay Her sentiments towards him were compounded of all that was respectful grateful confiding and tender {para} As the horse continued in name as well as fact the property of Edmund Mrs Norris could tolerate its being for Fanny 's use and had Lady Bertram ever thought about her own objection again he might have been excused in her eyes for not waiting till Sir Thomas 's return in September for when September came Sir Thomas was still abroad and without any near prospect of finishing his business Unfavourable circumstances had suddenly arisen at a moment when he was beginning to turn all his thoughts towards England and the very great uncertainty in which everything was then involved determined him on sending home his son and waiting the final arrangement by himself Tom arrived safely bringing an excellent account of his father 's health but to very little purpose as far as Mrs Norris was concerned Sir Thomas 's sending away his son seemed to her so like a parent 's care under the influence of a foreboding of evil to himself that she could not help feeling dreadful presentiments and as the long evenings of autumn came on was so terribly haunted by these ideas in the sad solitariness of her cottage as to be obliged to take daily refuge in the dining room of the Park The return of winter engagements however was not without its effect and in the course of their progress her mind became so pleasantly occupied in superintending the fortunes of her eldest niece as tolerably to quiet her nerves If poor Sir Thomas were fated never to return it would be peculiarly consoling to see their dear Maria well married she very often thought always when they were in the company of men of fortune and particularly on the introduction of a young man who had recently succeeded to one of the largest estates and finest places in the country {para} Mr Rushworth was from the first struck with the beauty of Miss Bertram and being inclined to marry soon fancied himself in love He was a heavy young man with not more than common sense but as there was nothing disagreeable in his figure or address the young lady was well pleased with her conquest Being now in her twenty first year Maria Bertram was beginning to think matrimony a duty and as a marriage with Mr Rushworth would give her the enjoyment of a larger income than her father 's as well as ensure her the house in town which was now a prime object it became by the same rule of moral obligation her evident duty to marry Mr Rushworth if she could Mrs Norris was most zealous in promoting the match by every suggestion and contrivance likely to enhance its desirableness to either party and among other means by seeking an intimacy with the gentleman 's mother who at present lived with him and to whom she even forced Lady Bertram to go through ten miles of indifferent road to pay a morning visit It was not long before a good understanding took place between this lady and herself Mrs Rushworth acknowledged herself very desirous that her son should marry and declared that of all the young ladies she had ever seen Miss Bertram seemed by her amiable qualities and accomplishments the best adapted to make him happy Mrs Norris accepted the compliment and admired the nice discernment of character which could so well distinguish merit Maria was indeed the pride and delight of them all perfectly faultless an angel and of course so surrounded by admirers must be difficult in her choice but yet as far as Mrs Norris could allow herself to decide on so short an acquaintance Mr Rushworth appeared precisely the young man to deserve and attach her {para} After dancing with each other at a proper number of balls the young people justified these opinions and an engagement with a due reference to the absent Sir Thomas was entered into much to the satisfaction of their respective families and of the general lookers on of the neighbourhood who had for many weeks past felt the expediency of Mr Rushworth 's marrying Miss Bertram {para} It was some months before Sir Thomas 's consent could be received but in the meanwhile as no one felt a doubt of his most cordial pleasure in the connexion the intercourse of the two families was carried on without restraint and no other attempt made at secrecy than Mrs Norris 's talking of it everywhere as a matter not to be talked of at present {para} Edmund was the only one of the family who could see a fault in the business but no representation of his aunt 's could induce him to find Mr Rushworth a desirable companion He could allow his sister to be the best judge of her own happiness but he was not pleased that her happiness should centre in a large income nor could he refrain from often saying to himself in Mr Rushworth 's company If this man had not twelve thousand a year he would be a very stupid fellow {para} Sir Thomas however was truly happy in the prospect of an alliance so unquestionably advantageous and of which he heard nothing but the perfectly good and agreeable It was a connexion exactly of the right sort in the same county and the same interest and his most hearty concurrence was conveyed as soon as possible He only conditioned that the marriage should not take place before his return which he was again looking eagerly forward to He wrote in April and had strong hopes of settling everything to his entire satisfaction and leaving Antigua before the end of the summer {para} Such was the state of affairs in the month of July and Fanny had just reached her eighteenth year when the society of the village received an addition in the brother and sister of Mrs Grant a Mr and Miss Crawford the children of her mother by a second marriage They were young people of fortune The son had a good estate in Norfolk the daughter twenty thousand pounds As children their sister had been always very fond of them but as her own marriage had been soon followed by the death of their common parent which left them to the care of a brother of their father of whom Mrs Grant knew nothing she had scarcely seen them since In their uncle 's house they had found a kind home Admiral and Mrs Crawford though agreeing in nothing else were united in affection for these children or at least were no farther adverse in their feelings than that each had their favourite to whom they showed the greatest fondness of the two The Admiral delighted in the boy Mrs Crawford doted on the girl and it was the lady 's death which now obliged her protegee after some months further trial at her uncle 's house to find another home Admiral Crawford was a man of vicious conduct who chose instead of retaining his niece to bring his mistress under his own roof and to this Mrs Grant was indebted for her sister 's proposal of coming to her a measure quite as welcome on one side as it could be expedient on the other for Mrs Grant having by this time run through the usual resources of ladies residing in the country without a family of children having more than filled her favourite sitting room with pretty furniture and made a choice collection of plants and poultry was very much in want of some variety at home The arrival therefore of a sister whom she had always loved and now hoped to retain with her as long as she remained single was highly agreeable and her chief anxiety was lest Mansfield should not satisfy the habits of a young woman who had been mostly used to London {para} Miss Crawford was not entirely free from similar apprehensions though they arose principally from doubts of her sister 's style of living and tone of society and it was not till after she had tried in vain to persuade her brother to settle with her at his own country house that she could resolve to hazard herself among her other relations To anything like a permanence of abode or limitation of society Henry Crawford had unluckily a great dislike he could not accommodate his sister in an article of such importance but he escorted her with the utmost kindness into Northamptonshire and as readily engaged to fetch her away again at half an hour 's notice whenever she were weary of the place {para} The meeting was very satisfactory on each side Miss Crawford found a sister without preciseness or rusticity a sister 's husband who looked the gentleman and a house commodious and well fitted up and Mrs Grant received in those whom she hoped to love better than ever a young man and woman of very prepossessing appearance Mary Crawford was remarkably pretty Henry though not handsome had air and countenance the manners of both were lively and pleasant and Mrs Grant immediately gave them credit for everything else She was delighted with each but Mary was her dearest object and having never been able to glory in beauty of her own she thoroughly enjoyed the power of being proud of her sister 's She had not waited her arrival to look out for a suitable match for her she had fixed on Tom Bertram the eldest son of a baronet was not too good for a girl of twenty thousand pounds with all the elegance and accomplishments which Mrs Grant foresaw in her and being a warm hearted unreserved woman Mary had not been three hours in the house before she told her what she had planned {para} Miss Crawford was glad to find a family of such consequence so very near them and not at all displeased either at her sister 's early care or the choice it had fallen on Matrimony was her object provided she could marry well and having seen Mr Bertram in town she knew that objection could no more be made to his person than to his situation in life While she treated it as a joke therefore she did not forget to think of it seriously The scheme was soon repeated to Henry {para} And now added Mrs Grant I have thought of something to make it complete I should dearly love to settle you both in this country and therefore Henry you shall marry the youngest Miss Bertram a nice handsome good humoured accomplished girl who will make you very happy {para} Henry bowed and thanked her {para} My dear sister said Mary if you can persuade him into anything of the sort it will be a fresh matter of delight to me to find myself allied to anybody so clever and I shall only regret that you have not half a dozen daughters to dispose of If you can persuade Henry to marry you must have the address of a Frenchwoman All that English abilities can do has been tried already I have three very particular friends who have been all dying for him in their turn and the pains which they their mothers very clever women as well as my dear aunt and myself have taken to reason coax or trick him into marrying is inconceivable He is the most horrible flirt that can be imagined If your Miss Bertrams do not like to have their hearts broke let them avoid Henry {para} My dear brother I will not believe this of you {para} No I am sure you are too good You will be kinder than Mary You will allow for the doubts of youth and inexperience I am of a cautious temper and unwilling to risk my happiness in a hurry Nobody can think more highly of the matrimonial state than myself I consider the blessing of a wife as most justly described in those discreet lines of the poet Heaven 's last best gift {para} There Mrs Grant you see how he dwells on one word and only look at his smile I assure you he is very detestable the Admiral 's lessons have quite spoiled him {para} I pay very little regard said Mrs Grant to what any young person says on the subject of marriage If they profess a disinclination for it I only set it down that they have not yet seen the right person {para} Dr Grant laughingly congratulated Miss Crawford on feeling no disinclination to the state herself {para} Oh yes I am not at all ashamed of it I would have everybody marry if they can do it properly I do not like to have people throw themselves away but everybody should marry as soon as they can do it to advantage {para} CHAPTER V {para} The young people were pleased with each other from the first On each side there was much to attract and their acquaintance soon promised as early an intimacy as good manners would warrant Miss Crawford 's beauty did her no disservice with the Miss Bertrams They were too handsome themselves to dislike any woman for being so too and were almost as much charmed as their brothers with her lively dark eye clear brown complexion and general prettiness Had she been tall full formed and fair it might have been more of a trial but as it was there could be no comparison and she was most allowably a sweet pretty girl while they were the finest young women in the country {para} Her brother was not handsome no when they first saw him he was absolutely plain black and plain but still he was the gentleman with a pleasing address The second meeting proved him not so very plain he was plain to be sure but then he had so much countenance and his teeth were so good and he was so well made that one soon forgot he was plain and after a third interview after dining in company with him at the Parsonage he was no longer allowed to be called so by anybody He was in fact the most agreeable young man the sisters had ever known and they were equally delighted with him Miss Bertram 's engagement made him in equity the property of Julia of which Julia was fully aware and before he had been at Mansfield a week she was quite ready to be fallen in love with {para} Maria 's notions on the subject were more confused and indistinct She did not want to see or understand There could be no harm in her liking an agreeable man everybody knew her situation Mr Crawford must take care of himself Mr Crawford did not mean to be in any danger the Miss Bertrams were worth pleasing and were ready to be pleased and he began with no object but of making them like him He did not want them to die of love but with sense and temper which ought to have made him judge and feel better he allowed himself great latitude on such points {para} I like your Miss Bertrams exceedingly sister said he as he returned from attending them to their carriage after the said dinner visit they are very elegant agreeable girls {para} So they are indeed and I am delighted to hear you say it But you like Julia best {para} Oh yes I like Julia best {para} But do you really for Miss Bertram is in general thought the handsomest {para} So I should suppose She has the advantage in every feature and I prefer her countenance but I like Julia best Miss Bertram is certainly the handsomest and I have found her the most agreeable but I shall always like Julia best because you order me {para} I shall not talk to you Henry but I know you will like her best at last {para} Do not I tell you that I like her best at first {para} And besides Miss Bertram is engaged Remember that my dear brother Her choice is made {para} Yes and I like her the better for it An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged She is satisfied with herself Her cares are over and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion All is safe with a lady engaged no harm can be done {para} Why as to that Mr Rushworth is a very good sort of young man and it is a great match for her {para} But Miss Bertram does not care three straws for him that is your opinion of your intimate friend I do not subscribe to it I am sure Miss Bertram is very much attached to Mr Rushworth I could see it in her eyes when he was mentioned I think too well of Miss Bertram to suppose she would ever give her hand without her heart {para} Mary how shall we manage him {para} We must leave him to himself I believe Talking does no good He will be taken in at last {para} But I would not have him taken in I would not have him duped I would have it all fair and honourable {para} Oh dear let him stand his chance and be taken in It will do just as well Everybody is taken in at some period or other {para} Not always in marriage dear Mary {para} In marriage especially With all due respect to such of the present company as chance to be married my dear Mrs Grant there is not one in a hundred of either sex who is not taken in when they marry Look where I will I see that it is so and I feel that it must be so when I consider that it is of all transactions the one in which people expect most from others and are least honest themselves {para} Ah You have been in a bad school for matrimony in Hill Street {para} My poor aunt had certainly little cause to love the state but however speaking from my own observation it is a manoeuvring business I know so many who have married in the full expectation and confidence of some one particular advantage in the connexion or accomplishment or good quality in the person who have found themselves entirely deceived and been obliged to put up with exactly the reverse What is this but a take in {para} My dear child there must be a little imagination here I beg your pardon but I cannot quite believe you Depend upon it you see but half You see the evil but you do not see the consolation There will be little rubs and disappointments everywhere and we are all apt to expect too much but then if one scheme of happiness fails human nature turns to another if the first calculation is wrong we make a second better we find comfort somewhere and those evil minded observers dearest Mary who make much of a little are more taken in and deceived than the parties themselves {para} Well done sister I honour your esprit du corps When I am a wife I mean to be just as staunch myself and I wish my friends in general would be so too It would save me many a heartache {para} You are as bad as your brother Mary but we will cure you both Mansfield shall cure you both and without any taking in Stay with us and we will cure you {para} The Crawfords without wanting to be cured were very willing to stay Mary was satisfied with the Parsonage as a present home and Henry equally ready to lengthen his visit He had come intending to spend only a few days with them but Mansfield promised well and there was nothing to call him elsewhere It delighted Mrs Grant to keep them both with her and Dr Grant was exceedingly well contented to have it so a talking pretty young woman like Miss Crawford is always pleasant society to an indolent stay at home man and Mr Crawford 's being his guest was an excuse for drinking claret every day {para} The Miss Bertrams admiration of Mr Crawford was more rapturous than anything which Miss Crawford 's habits made her likely to feel She acknowledged however that the Mr Bertrams were very fine young men that two such young men were not often seen together even in London and that their manners particularly those of the eldest were very good He had been much in London and had more liveliness and gallantry than Edmund and must therefore be preferred and indeed his being the eldest was another strong claim She had felt an early presentiment that she should like the eldest best She knew it was her way {para} Tom Bertram must have been thought pleasant indeed at any rate he was the sort of young man to be generally liked his agreeableness was of the kind to be oftener found agreeable than some endowments of a higher stamp for he had easy manners excellent spirits a large acquaintance and a great deal to say and the reversion of Mansfield Park and a baronetcy did no harm to all this Miss Crawford soon felt that he and his situation might do She looked about her with due consideration and found almost everything in his favour a park a real park five miles round a spacious modern built house so well placed and well screened as to deserve to be in any collection of engravings of gentlemen 's seats in the kingdom and wanting only to be completely new furnished pleasant sisters a quiet mother and an agreeable man himself with the advantage of being tied up from much gaming at present by a promise to his father and of being Sir Thomas hereafter It might do very well she believed she should accept him and she began accordingly to interest herself a little about the horse which he had to run at the B races {para} These races were to call him away not long after their acquaintance began and as it appeared that the family did not from his usual goings on expect him back again for many weeks it would bring his passion to an early proof Much was said on his side to induce her to attend the races and schemes were made for a large party to them with all the eagerness of inclination but it would only do to be talked of {para} And Fanny what was she doing and thinking all this while and what was her opinion of the newcomers Few young ladies of eighteen could be less called on to speak their opinion than Fanny In a quiet way very little attended to she paid her tribute of admiration to Miss Crawford 's beauty but as she still continued to think Mr Crawford very plain in spite of her two cousins having repeatedly proved the contrary she never mentioned him The notice which she excited herself was to this effect I begin now to understand you all except Miss Price said Miss Crawford as she was walking with the Mr Bertrams Pray is she out or is she not I am puzzled She dined at the Parsonage with the rest of you which seemed like being out and yet she says so little that I can hardly suppose she is {para} Edmund to whom this was chiefly addressed replied I believe I know what you mean but I will not undertake to answer the question My cousin is grown up She has the age and sense of a woman but the outs and not outs are beyond me {para} And yet in general nothing can be more easily ascertained The distinction is so broad Manners as well as appearance are generally speaking so totally different Till now I could not have supposed it possible to be mistaken as to a girl 's being out or not A girl not out has always the same sort of dress a close bonnet for instance looks very demure and never says a word You may smile but it is so I assure you and except that it is sometimes carried a little too far it is all very proper Girls should be quiet and modest The most objectionable part is that the alteration of manners on being introduced into company is frequently too sudden They sometimes pass in such very little time from reserve to quite the opposite to confidence That is the faulty part of the present system One does not like to see a girl of eighteen or nineteen so immediately up to every thing and perhaps when one has seen her hardly able to speak the year before Mr Bertram I dare say you have sometimes met with such changes {para} I believe I have but this is hardly fair I see what you are at You are quizzing me and Miss Anderson {para} No indeed Miss Anderson I do not know who or what you mean I am quite in the dark But I will quiz you with a great deal of pleasure if you will tell me what about {para} Ah you carry it off very well but I cannot be quite so far imposed on You must have had Miss Anderson in your eye in describing an altered young lady You paint too accurately for mistake It was exactly so The Andersons of Baker Street We were speaking of them the other day you know Edmund you have heard me mention Charles Anderson The circumstance was precisely as this lady has represented it When Anderson first introduced me to his family about two years ago his sister was not out and I could not get her to speak to me I sat there an hour one morning waiting for Anderson with only her and a little girl or two in the room the governess being sick or run away and the mother in and out every moment with letters of business and I could hardly get a word or a look from the young lady nothing like a civil answer she screwed up her mouth and turned from me with such an air I did not see her again for a twelvemonth She was then out I met her at Mrs Holford 's and did not recollect her She came up to me claimed me as an acquaintance stared me out of countenance and talked and laughed till I did not know which way to look I felt that I must be the jest of the room at the time and Miss Crawford it is plain has heard the story {para} And a very pretty story it is and with more truth in it I dare say than does credit to Miss Anderson It is too common a fault Mothers certainly have not yet got quite the right way of managing their daughters I do not know where the error lies I do not pretend to set people right but I do see that they are often wrong {para} Those who are showing the world what female manners should be said Mr Bertram gallantly are doing a great deal to set them right {para} The error is plain enough said the less courteous Edmund such girls are ill brought up They are given wrong notions from the beginning They are always acting upon motives of vanity and there is no more real modesty in their behaviour before they appear in public than afterwards {para} I do not know replied Miss Crawford hesitatingly Yes I cannot agree with you there It is certainly the modestest part of the business It is much worse to have girls not out give themselves the same airs and take the same liberties as if they were which I have seen done That is worse than anything quite disgusting {para} Yes that is very inconvenient indeed said Mr Bertram It leads one astray one does not know what to do The close bonnet and demure air you describe so well and nothing was ever juster tell one what is expected but I got into a dreadful scrape last year from the want of them I went down to Ramsgate for a week with a friend last September just after my return from the West Indies My friend Sneyd you have heard me speak of Sneyd Edmund his father and mother and sisters were there all new to me When we reached Albion Place they were out we went after them and found them on the pier Mrs and the two Miss Sneyds with others of their acquaintance I made my bow in form and as Mrs Sneyd was surrounded by men attached myself to one of her daughters walked by her side all the way home and made myself as agreeable as I could the young lady perfectly easy in her manners and as ready to talk as to listen I had not a suspicion that I could be doing anything wrong They looked just the same both well dressed with veils and parasols like other girls but I afterwards found that I had been giving all my attention to the youngest who was not out and had most excessively offended the eldest Miss Augusta ought not to have been noticed for the next six months and Miss Sneyd I believe has never forgiven me {para} That was bad indeed Poor Miss Sneyd Though I have no younger sister I feel for her To be neglected before one 's time must be very vexatious but it was entirely the mother 's fault Miss Augusta should have been with her governess Such half and half doings never prosper But now I must be satisfied about Miss Price Does she go to balls Does she dine out every where as well as at my sister 's {para} No replied Edmund I do not think she has ever been to a ball My mother seldom goes into company herself and dines nowhere but with Mrs Grant and Fanny stays at home with her {para} Oh then the point is clear Miss Price is not out {para} CHAPTER VI {para} Mr Bertram set off for and Miss Crawford was prepared to find a great chasm in their society and to miss him decidedly in the meetings which were now becoming almost daily between the families and on their all dining together at the Park soon after his going she retook her chosen place near the bottom of the table fully expecting to feel a most melancholy difference in the change of masters It would be a very flat business she was sure In comparison with his brother Edmund would have nothing to say The soup would be sent round in a most spiritless manner wine drank without any smiles or agreeable trifling and the venison cut up without supplying one pleasant anecdote of any former haunch or a single entertaining story about my friend such a one She must try to find amusement in what was passing at the upper end of the table and in observing Mr Rushworth who was now making his appearance at Mansfield for the first time since the Crawfords arrival He had been visiting a friend in the neighbouring county and that friend having recently had his grounds laid out by an improver Mr Rushworth was returned with his head full of the subject and very eager to be improving his own place in the same way and though not saying much to the purpose could talk of nothing else The subject had been already handled in the drawing room it was revived in the dining parlour Miss Bertram 's attention and opinion was evidently his chief aim and though her deportment showed rather conscious superiority than any solicitude to oblige him the mention of Sotherton Court and the ideas attached to it gave her a feeling of complacency which prevented her from being very ungracious {para} I wish you could see Compton said he it is the most complete thing I never saw a place so altered in my life I told Smith I did not know where I was The approach now is one of the finest things in the country you see the house in the most surprising manner I declare when I got back to Sotherton yesterday it looked like a prison quite a dismal old prison {para} Oh for shame cried Mrs Norris A prison indeed Sotherton Court is the noblest old place in the world {para} It wants improvement ma'am beyond anything I never saw a place that wanted so much improvement in my life and it is so forlorn that I do not know what can be done with it {para} No wonder that Mr Rushworth should think so at present said Mrs Grant to Mrs Norris with a smile but depend upon it Sotherton will have every improvement in time which his heart can desire {para} I must try to do something with it said Mr Rushworth but I do not know what I hope I shall have some good friend to help me {para} Your best friend upon such an occasion said Miss Bertram calmly would be Mr Repton I imagine {para} That is what I was thinking of As he has done so well by Smith I think I had better have him at once His terms are five guineas a day {para} Well and if they were ten cried Mrs Norris I am sure you need not regard it The expense need not be any impediment If I were you I should not think of the expense I would have everything done in the best style and made as nice as possible Such a place as Sotherton Court deserves everything that taste and money can do You have space to work upon there and grounds that will well reward you For my own part if I had anything within the fiftieth part of the size of Sotherton I should be always planting and improving for naturally I am excessively fond of it It would be too ridiculous for me to attempt anything where I am now with my little half acre It would be quite a burlesque But if I had more room I should take a prodigious delight in improving and planting We did a vast deal in that way at the Parsonage we made it quite a different place from what it was when we first had it You young ones do not remember much about it perhaps but if dear Sir Thomas were here he could tell you what improvements we made and a great deal more would have been done but for poor Mr Norris 's sad state of health He could hardly ever get out poor man to enjoy anything and that disheartened me from doing several things that Sir Thomas and I used to talk of If it had not been for that we should have carried on the garden wall and made the plantation to shut out the churchyard just as Dr Grant has done We were always doing something as it was It was only the spring twelvemonth before Mr Norris 's death that we put in the apricot against the stable wall which is now grown such a noble tree and getting to such perfection sir addressing herself then to Dr Grant {para} The tree thrives well beyond a doubt madam replied Dr Grant The soil is good and I never pass it without regretting that the fruit should be so little worth the trouble of gathering {para} Sir it is a Moor Park we bought it as a Moor Park and it cost us that is it was a present from Sir Thomas but I saw the bill and I know it cost seven shillings and was charged as a Moor Park {para} You were imposed on ma'am replied Dr Grant these potatoes have as much the flavour of a Moor Park apricot as the fruit from that tree It is an insipid fruit at the best but a good apricot is eatable which none from my garden are {para} The truth is ma'am said Mrs Grant pretending to whisper across the table to Mrs Norris that Dr Grant hardly knows what the natural taste of our apricot is he is scarcely ever indulged with one for it is so valuable a fruit with a little assistance and ours is such a remarkably large fair sort that what with early tarts and preserves my cook contrives to get them all {para} Mrs Norris who had begun to redden was appeased and for a little while other subjects took place of the improvements of Sotherton Dr Grant and Mrs Norris were seldom good friends their acquaintance had begun in dilapidations and their habits were totally dissimilar {para} After a short interruption Mr Rushworth began again Smith 's place is the admiration of all the country and it was a mere nothing before Repton took it in hand I think I shall have Repton {para} Mr Rushworth said Lady Bertram if I were you I would have a very pretty shrubbery One likes to get out into a shrubbery in fine weather {para} Mr Rushworth was eager to assure her ladyship of his acquiescence and tried to make out something complimentary but between his submission to her taste and his having always intended the same himself with the superadded objects of professing attention to the comfort of ladies in general and of insinuating that there was one only whom he was anxious to please he grew puzzled and Edmund was glad to put an end to his speech by a proposal of wine Mr Rushworth however though not usually a great talker had still more to say on the subject next his heart Smith has not much above a hundred acres altogether in his grounds which is little enough and makes it more surprising that the place can have been so improved Now at Sotherton we have a good seven hundred without reckoning the water meadows so that I think if so much could be done at Compton we need not despair There have been two or three fine old trees cut down that grew too near the house and it opens the prospect amazingly which makes me think that Repton or anybody of that sort would certainly have the avenue at Sotherton down the avenue that leads from the west front to the top of the hill you know turning to Miss Bertram particularly as he spoke But Miss Bertram thought it most becoming to reply {para} The avenue Oh I do not recollect it I really know very little of Sotherton {para} Fanny who was sitting on the other side of Edmund exactly opposite Miss Crawford and who had been attentively listening now looked at him and said in a low voice {para} Cut down an avenue What a pity Does it not make you think of Cowper Ye fallen avenues once more I mourn your fate unmerited {para} He smiled as he answered I am afraid the avenue stands a bad chance Fanny {para} I should like to see Sotherton before it is cut down to see the place as it is now in its old state but I do not suppose I shall {para} Have you never been there No you never can and unluckily it is out of distance for a ride I wish we could contrive it {para} Oh it does not signify Whenever I do see it you will tell me how it has been altered {para} I collect said Miss Crawford that Sotherton is an old place and a place of some grandeur In any particular style of building {para} The house was built in Elizabeth 's time and is a large regular brick building heavy but respectable looking and has many good rooms It is ill placed It stands in one of the lowest spots of the park in that respect unfavourable for improvement But the woods are fine and there is a stream which I dare say might be made a good deal of Mr Rushworth is quite right I think in meaning to give it a modern dress and I have no doubt that it will be all done extremely well {para} Miss Crawford listened with submission and said to herself He is a well bred man he makes the best of it {para} I do not wish to influence Mr Rushworth he continued but had I a place to new fashion I should not put myself into the hands of an improver I would rather have an inferior degree of beauty of my own choice and acquired progressively I would rather abide by my own blunders than by his {para} You would know what you were about of course but that would not suit me I have no eye or ingenuity for such matters but as they are before me and had I a place of my own in the country I should be most thankful to any Mr Repton who would undertake it and give me as much beauty as he could for my money and I should never look at it till it was complete {para} It would be delightful to me to see the progress of it all said Fanny {para} Ay you have been brought up to it It was no part of my education and the only dose I ever had being administered by not the first favourite in the world has made me consider improvements in hand as the greatest of nuisances Three years ago the Admiral my honoured uncle bought a cottage at Twickenham for us all to spend our summers in and my aunt and I went down to it quite in raptures but it being excessively pretty it was soon found necessary to be improved and for three months we were all dirt and confusion without a gravel walk to step on or a bench fit for use I would have everything as complete as possible in the country shrubberies and flower gardens and rustic seats innumerable but it must all be done without my care Henry is different he loves to be doing {para} Edmund was sorry to hear Miss Crawford whom he was much disposed to admire speak so freely of her uncle It did not suit his sense of propriety and he was silenced till induced by further smiles and liveliness to put the matter by for the present {para} Mr Bertram said she I have tidings of my harp at last I am assured that it is safe at Northampton and there it has probably been these ten days in spite of the solemn assurances we have so often received to the contrary Edmund expressed his pleasure and surprise The truth is that our inquiries were too direct we sent a servant we went ourselves this will not do seventy miles from London but this morning we heard of it in the right way It was seen by some farmer and he told the miller and the miller told the butcher and the butcher 's son in law left word at the shop {para} I am very glad that you have heard of it by whatever means and hope there will be no further delay {para} I am to have it to morrow but how do you think it is to be conveyed Not by a wagon or cart oh no nothing of that kind could be hired in the village I might as well have asked for porters and a handbarrow {para} You would find it difficult I dare say just now in the middle of a very late hay harvest to hire a horse and cart {para} I was astonished to find what a piece of work was made of it To want a horse and cart in the country seemed impossible so I told my maid to speak for one directly and as I cannot look out of my dressing closet without seeing one farmyard nor walk in the shrubbery without passing another I thought it would be only ask and have and was rather grieved that I could not give the advantage to all Guess my surprise when I found that I had been asking the most unreasonable most impossible thing in the world had offended all the farmers all the labourers all the hay in the parish As for Dr Grant 's bailiff I believe I had better keep out of his way and my brother in law himself who is all kindness in general looked rather black upon me when he found what I had been at {para} You could not be expected to have thought on the subject before but when you do think of it you must see the importance of getting in the grass The hire of a cart at any time might not be so easy as you suppose our farmers are not in the habit of letting them out but in harvest it must be quite out of their power to spare a horse {para} I shall understand all your ways in time but coming down with the true London maxim that everything is to be got with money I was a little embarrassed at first by the sturdy independence of your country customs However I am to have my harp fetched to morrow Henry who is good nature itself has offered to fetch it in his barouche Will it not be honourably conveyed {para} Edmund spoke of the harp as his favourite instrument and hoped to be soon allowed to hear her Fanny had never heard the harp at all and wished for it very much {para} I shall be most happy to play to you both said Miss Crawford at least as long as you can like to listen probably much longer for I dearly love music myself and where the natural taste is equal the player must always be best off for she is gratified in more ways than one Now Mr Bertram if you write to your brother I entreat you to tell him that my harp is come he heard so much of my misery about it And you may say if you please that I shall prepare my most plaintive airs against his return in compassion to his feelings as I know his horse will lose {para} If I write I will say whatever you wish me but I do not at present foresee any occasion for writing {para} No I dare say nor if he were to be gone a twelvemonth would you ever write to him nor he to you if it could be helped The occasion would never be foreseen What strange creatures brothers are You would not write to each other but upon the most urgent necessity in the world and when obliged to take up the pen to say that such a horse is ill or such a relation dead it is done in the fewest possible words You have but one style among you I know it perfectly Henry who is in every other respect exactly what a brother should be who loves me consults me confides in me and will talk to me by the hour together has never yet turned the page in a letter and very often it is nothing more than Dear Mary I am just arrived Bath seems full and everything as usual Yours sincerely That is the true manly style that is a complete brother 's letter {para} When they are at a distance from all their family said Fanny colouring for William 's sake they can write long letters {para} Miss Price has a brother at sea said Edmund whose excellence as a correspondent makes her think you too severe upon us {para} At sea has she In the king 's service of course {para} Fanny would rather have had Edmund tell the story but his determined silence obliged her to relate her brother 's situation her voice was animated in speaking of his profession and the foreign stations he had been on but she could not mention the number of years that he had been absent without tears in her eyes Miss Crawford civilly wished him an early promotion {para} Do you know anything of my cousin 's captain said Edmund Captain Marshall You have a large acquaintance in the navy I conclude {para} Among admirals large enough but with an air of grandeur we know very little of the inferior ranks Post captains may be very good sort of men but they do not belong to us Of various admirals I could tell you a great deal of them and their flags and the gradation of their pay and their bickerings and jealousies But in general I can assure you that they are all passed over and all very ill used Certainly my home at my uncle 's brought me acquainted with a circle of admirals Of Rears and Vices I saw enough Now do not be suspecting me of a pun I entreat {para} Edmund again felt grave and only replied It is a noble profession {para} Yes the profession is well enough under two circumstances if it make the fortune and there be discretion in spending it but in short it is not a favourite profession of mine It has never worn an amiable form to me {para} Edmund reverted to the harp and was again very happy in the prospect of hearing her play {para} The subject of improving grounds meanwhile was still under consideration among the others and Mrs Grant could not help addressing her brother though it was calling his attention from Miss Julia Bertram {para} My dear Henry have you nothing to say You have been an improver yourself and from what I hear of Everingham it may vie with any place in England Its natural beauties I am sure are great Everingham as it used to be was perfect in my estimation such a happy fall of ground and such timber What would I not give to see it again {para} Nothing could be so gratifying to me as to hear your opinion of it was his answer but I fear there would be some disappointment you would not find it equal to your present ideas In extent it is a mere nothing you would be surprised at its insignificance and as for improvement there was very little for me to do too little I should like to have been busy much longer {para} You are fond of the sort of thing said Julia {para} Excessively but what with the natural advantages of the ground which pointed out even to a very young eye what little remained to be done and my own consequent resolutions I had not been of age three months before Everingham was all that it is now My plan was laid at Westminster a little altered perhaps at Cambridge and at one and twenty executed I am inclined to envy Mr Rushworth for having so much happiness yet before him I have been a devourer of my own {para} Those who see quickly will resolve quickly and act quickly said Julia You can never want employment Instead of envying Mr Rushworth you should assist him with your opinion {para} Mrs Grant hearing the latter part of this speech enforced it warmly persuaded that no judgment could be equal to her brother 's and as Miss Bertram caught at the idea likewise and gave it her full support declaring that in her opinion it was infinitely better to consult with friends and disinterested advisers than immediately to throw the business into the hands of a professional man Mr Rushworth was very ready to request the favour of Mr Crawford 's assistance and Mr Crawford after properly depreciating his own abilities was quite at his service in any way that could be useful Mr Rushworth then began to propose Mr Crawford 's doing him the honour of coming over to Sotherton and taking a bed there when Mrs Norris as if reading in her two nieces minds their little approbation of a plan which was to take Mr Crawford away interposed with an amendment {para} There can be no doubt of Mr Crawford 's willingness but why should not more of us go Why should not we make a little party Here are many that would be interested in your improvements my dear Mr Rushworth and that would like to hear Mr Crawford 's opinion on the spot and that might be of some small use to you with their opinions and for my own part I have been long wishing to wait upon your good mother again nothing but having no horses of my own could have made me so remiss but now I could go and sit a few hours with Mrs Rushworth while the rest of you walked about and settled things and then we could all return to a late dinner here or dine at Sotherton just as might be most agreeable to your mother and have a pleasant drive home by moonlight I dare say Mr Crawford would take my two nieces and me in his barouche and Edmund can go on horseback you know sister and Fanny will stay at home with you {para} Lady Bertram made no objection and every one concerned in the going was forward in expressing their ready concurrence excepting Edmund who heard it all and said nothing {para} CHAPTER VII {para} Well Fanny and how do you like Miss Crawford now said Edmund the next day after thinking some time on the subject himself How did you like her yesterday {para} Very well very much I like to hear her talk She entertains me and she is so extremely pretty that I have great pleasure in looking at her {para} It is her countenance that is so attractive She has a wonderful play of feature But was there nothing in her conversation that struck you Fanny as not quite right {para} Oh yes she ought not to have spoken of her uncle as she did I was quite astonished An uncle with whom she has been living so many years and who whatever his faults may be is so very fond of her brother treating him they say quite like a son I could not have believed it {para} I thought you would be struck It was very wrong very indecorous {para} And very ungrateful I think {para} Ungrateful is a strong word I do not know that her uncle has any claim to her gratitude his wife certainly had and it is the warmth of her respect for her aunt 's memory which misleads her here She is awkwardly circumstanced With such warm feelings and lively spirits it must be difficult to do justice to her affection for Mrs Crawford without throwing a shade on the Admiral I do not pretend to know which was most to blame in their disagreements though the Admiral 's present conduct might incline one to the side of his wife but it is natural and amiable that Miss Crawford should acquit her aunt entirely I do not censure her opinions but there certainly is impropriety in making them public {para} Do not you think said Fanny after a little consideration that this impropriety is a reflection itself upon Mrs Crawford as her niece has been entirely brought up by her She cannot have given her right notions of what was due to the Admiral {para} That is a fair remark Yes we must suppose the faults of the niece to have been those of the aunt and it makes one more sensible of the disadvantages she has been under But I think her present home must do her good Mrs Grant 's manners are just what they ought to be She speaks of her brother with a very pleasing affection {para} Yes except as to his writing her such short letters She made me almost laugh but I cannot rate so very highly the love or good nature of a brother who will not give himself the trouble of writing anything worth reading to his sisters when they are separated I am sure William would never have used me so under any circumstances And what right had she to suppose that you would not write long letters when you were absent {para} The right of a lively mind Fanny seizing whatever may contribute to its own amusement or that of others perfectly allowable when untinctured by ill humour or roughness and there is not a shadow of either in the countenance or manner of Miss Crawford nothing sharp or loud or coarse She is perfectly feminine except m the instances we have been speaking of There she cannot be justified I am glad you saw it all as I did {para} Having formed her mind and gained her affections he had a good chance of her thinking like him though at this period and on this subject there began now to be some danger of dissimilarity for he was in a line of admiration of Miss Crawford which might lead him where Fanny could not follow Miss Crawford 's attractions did not lessen The harp arrived and rather added to her beauty wit and good humour for she played with the greatest obligingness with an expression and taste which were peculiarly becoming and there was something clever to be said at the close of every air Edmund was at the Parsonage every day to be indulged with his favourite instrument one morning secured an invitation for the next for the lady could not be unwilling to have a listener and every thing was soon in a fair train {para} A young woman pretty lively with a harp as elegant as herself and both placed near a window cut down to the ground and opening on a little lawn surrounded by shrubs in the rich foliage of summer was enough to catch any man 's heart The season the scene the air were all favourable to tenderness and sentiment Mrs Grant and her tambour frame were not without their use it was all in harmony and as everything will turn to account when love is once set going even the sandwich tray and Dr Grant doing the honours of it were worth looking at Without studying the business however or knowing what he was about Edmund was beginning at the end of a week of such intercourse to be a good deal in love and to the credit of the lady it may be added that without his being a man of the world or an elder brother without any of the arts of flattery or the gaieties of small talk he began to be agreeable to her She felt it to be so though she had not foreseen and could hardly understand it for he was not pleasant by any common rule he talked no nonsense he paid no compliments his opinions were unbending his attentions tranquil and simple There was a charm perhaps in his sincerity his steadiness his integrity which Miss Crawford might be equal to feel though not equal to discuss with herself She did not think very much about it however he pleased her for the present she liked to have him near her it was enough {para} Fanny could not wonder that Edmund was at the Parsonage every morning she would gladly have been there too might she have gone in uninvited and unnoticed to hear the harp neither could she wonder that when the evening stroll was over and the two families parted again he should think it right to attend Mrs Grant and her sister to their home while Mr Crawford was devoted to the ladies of the Park but she thought it a very bad exchange and if Edmund were not there to mix the wine and water for her would rather go without it than not She was a little surprised that he could spend so many hours with Miss Crawford and not see more of the sort of fault which he had already observed and of which she was almost always reminded by a something of the same nature whenever she was in her company but so it was Edmund was fond of speaking to her of Miss Crawford but he seemed to think it enough that the Admiral had since been spared and she scrupled to point out her own remarks to him lest it should appear like ill nature The first actual pain which Miss Crawford occasioned her was the consequence of an inclination to learn to ride which the former caught soon after her being settled at Mansfield from the example of the young ladies at the Park and which when Edmund 's acquaintance with her increased led to his encouraging the wish and the offer of his own quiet mare for the purpose of her first attempts as the best fitted for a beginner that either stable could furnish No pain no injury however was designed by him to his cousin in this offer she was not to lose a day 's exercise by it The mare was only to be taken down to the Parsonage half an hour before her ride were to begin and Fanny on its being first proposed so far from feeling slighted was almost over powered with gratitude that he should be asking her leave for it {para} Miss Crawford made her first essay with great credit to herself and no inconvenience to Fanny Edmund who had taken down the mare and presided at the whole returned with it in excellent time before either Fanny or the steady old coachman who always attended her when she rode without her cousins were ready to set forward The second day 's trial was not so guiltless Miss Crawford 's enjoyment of riding was such that she did not know how to leave off Active and fearless and though rather small strongly made she seemed formed for a horsewoman and to the pure genuine pleasure of the exercise something was probably added in Edmund 's attendance and instructions and something more in the conviction of very much surpassing her sex in general by her early progress to make her unwilling to dismount Fanny was ready and waiting and Mrs Norris was beginning to scold her for not being gone and still no horse was announced no Edmund appeared To avoid her aunt and look for him she went out {para} The houses though scarcely half a mile apart were not within sight of each other but by walking fifty yards from the hall door she could look down the park and command a view of the Parsonage and all its demesnes gently rising beyond the village road and in Dr Grant 's meadow she immediately saw the group Edmund and Miss Crawford both on horse back riding side by side Dr and Mrs Grant and Mr Crawford with two or three grooms standing about and looking on A happy party it appeared to her all interested in one object cheerful beyond a doubt for the sound of merriment ascended even to her It was a sound which did not make her cheerful she wondered that Edmund should forget her and felt a pang She could not turn her eyes from the meadow she could not help watching all that passed At first Miss Crawford and her companion made the circuit of the field which was not small at a foot 's pace then at her apparent suggestion they rose into a canter and to Fanny 's timid nature it was most astonishing to see how well she sat After a few minutes they stopped entirely Edmund was close to her he was speaking to her he was evidently directing her management of the bridle he had hold of her hand she saw it or the imagination supplied what the eye could not reach She {para} must not wonder at all this what could be more natural than that Edmund should be making himself useful and proving his good nature by any one She could not but think indeed that Mr Crawford might as well have saved him the trouble that it would have been particularly proper and becoming in a brother to have done it himself but Mr Crawford with all his boasted good nature and all his coachmanship probably knew nothing of the matter and had no active kindness in comparison of Edmund She began to think it rather hard upon the mare to have such double duty if she were forgotten the poor mare should be remembered {para} Her feelings for one and the other were soon a little tranquillised by seeing the party in the meadow disperse and Miss Crawford still on horseback but attended by Edmund on foot pass through a gate into the lane and so into the park and make towards the spot where she stood She began then to be afraid of appearing rude and impatient and walked to meet them with a great anxiety to avoid the suspicion {para} My dear Miss Price said Miss Crawford as soon as she was at all within hearing I am come to make my own apologies for keeping you waiting but I have nothing in the world to say for myself I knew it was very late and that I was behaving extremely ill and therefore if you please you must forgive me Selfishness must always be forgiven you know because there is no hope of a cure {para} Fanny 's answer was extremely civil and Edmund added his conviction that she could be in no hurry For there is more than time enough for my cousin to ride twice as far as she ever goes said he and you have been promoting her comfort by preventing her from setting off half an hour sooner clouds are now coming up and she will not suffer from the heat as she would have done then I wish you may not be fatigued by so much exercise I wish you had saved yourself this walk home {para} No part of it fatigues me but getting off this horse I assure you said she as she sprang down with his help I am very strong Nothing ever fatigues me but doing what I do not like Miss Price I give way to you with a very bad grace but I sincerely hope you will have a pleasant ride and that I may have nothing but good to hear of this dear delightful beautiful animal {para} The old coachman who had been waiting about with his own horse now joining them Fanny was lifted on hers and they set off across another part of the park her feelings of discomfort not lightened by seeing as she looked back that the others were walking down the hill together to the village nor did her attendant do her much good by his comments on Miss Crawford 's great cleverness as a horse woman which he had been watching with an interest almost equal to her own {para} It is a pleasure to see a lady with such a good heart for riding said he I never see one sit a horse better She did not seem to have a thought of fear Very different from you miss when you first began six years ago come next Easter Lord bless you how you did tremble when Sir Thomas first had you put on {para} In the drawing room Miss Crawford was also celebrated Her merit in being gifted by Nature with strength and courage was fully appreciated by the Miss Bertrams her delight in riding was like their own her early excellence in it was like their own and they had great pleasure in praising it {para} I was sure she would ride well said Julia she has the make for it Her figure is as neat as her brother 's {para} Yes added Maria and her spirits are as good and she has the same energy of character I cannot but think that good horsemanship has a great deal to do with the mind {para} When they parted at night Edmund asked Fanny whether she meant to ride the next day {para} No I do not know not if you want the mare was her answer {para} I do not want her at all for myself said he but whenever you are next inclined to stay at home I think Miss Crawford would be glad to have her a longer time for a whole morning in short She has a great desire to get as far as Mansfield Common Mrs Grant has been telling her of its fine views and I have no doubt of her being perfectly equal to it But any morning will do for this She would be extremely sorry to interfere with you It would be very wrong if she did She rides only for pleasure you for health {para} I shall not ride to morrow certainly said Fanny I have been out very often lately and would rather stay at home You know I am strong enough now to walk very well {para} Edmund looked pleased which must be Fanny 's comfort and the ride to Mansfield Common took place the next morning the party included all the young people but herself and was much enjoyed at the time and doubly enjoyed again in the evening discussion A successful scheme of this sort generally brings on another and the having been to Mansfield Common disposed them all for going somewhere else the day after There were many other views to be shewn and though the weather was hot there were shady lanes wherever they wanted to go A young party is always provided with a shady lane Four fine mornings successively were spent in this manner in shewing the Crawfords the country and doing the honours of its finest spots Everything answered it was all gaiety and good humour the heat only supplying inconvenience enough to be talked of with pleasure till the fourth day when the happiness of one of the party was exceedingly clouded Miss Bertram was the one Edmund and Julia were invited to dine at the Parsonage and she was excluded It was meant and done by Mrs Grant with perfect good humour on Mr Rushworth 's account who was partly expected at the Park that day but it was felt as a very grievous injury and her good manners were severely taxed to conceal her vexation and anger till she reached home As Mr Rushworth did not come the injury was increased and she had not even the relief of shewing her power over him she could only be sullen to her mother aunt and cousin and throw as great a gloom as possible over their dinner and dessert {para} Between ten and eleven Edmund and Julia walked into the drawing room fresh with the evening air glowing and cheerful the very reverse of what they found in the three ladies sitting there for Maria would scarcely raise her eyes from her book and Lady Bertram was half asleep and even Mrs Norris discomposed by her niece 's ill humour and having asked one or two questions about the dinner which were not immediately attended to seemed almost determined to say no more For a few minutes the brother and sister were too eager in their praise of the night and their remarks on the stars to think beyond themselves but when the first pause came Edmund looking around said But where is Fanny Is she gone to bed {para} No not that I know of replied Mrs Norris she was here a moment ago {para} Her own gentle voice speaking from the other end of the room which was a very long one told them that she was on the sofa Mrs Norris began scolding {para} That is a very foolish trick Fanny to be idling away all the evening upon a sofa Why cannot you come and sit here and employ yourself as we do If you have no work of your own I can supply you from the poor basket There is all the new calico that was bought last week not touched yet I am sure I almost broke my back by cutting it out You should learn to think of other people and take my word for it it is a shocking trick for a young person to be always lolling upon a sofa {para} Before half this was said Fanny was returned to her seat at the table and had taken up her work again and Julia who was in high good humour from the pleasures of the day did her the justice of exclaiming I must say ma'am that Fanny is as little upon the sofa as anybody in the house {para} Fanny said Edmund after looking at her attentively I am sure you have the headache {para} She could not deny it but said it was not very bad {para} I can hardly believe you he replied I know your looks too well How long have you had it {para} Since a little before dinner It is nothing but the heat {para} Did you go out in the heat {para} Go out to be sure she did said Mrs Norris would you have her stay within such a fine day as this Were not we all out Even your mother was out to day for above an hour {para} Yes indeed Edmund added her ladyship who had been thoroughly awakened by Mrs Norris 's sharp reprimand to Fanny I was out above an hour I sat three quarters of an hour in the flower garden while Fanny cut the roses and very pleasant it was I assure you but very hot It was shady enough in the alcove but I declare I quite dreaded the coming home again {para} Fanny has been cutting roses has she {para} Yes and I am afraid they will be the last this year Poor thing She found it hot enough but they were so full blown that one could not wait {para} There was no help for it certainly rejoined Mrs Norris in a rather softened voice but I question whether her headache might not be caught then sister There is nothing so likely to give it as standing and stooping in a hot sun but I dare say it will be well to morrow Suppose you let her have your aromatic vinegar I always forget to have mine filled {para} She has got it said Lady Bertram she has had it ever since she came back from your house the second time {para} What cried Edmund has she been walking as well as cutting roses walking across the hot park to your house and doing it twice ma'am No wonder her head aches {para} Mrs Norris was talking to Julia and did not hear {para} I was afraid it would be too much for her said Lady Bertram but when the roses were gathered your aunt wished to have them and then you know they must be taken home {para} But were there roses enough to oblige her to go twice {para} No but they were to be put into the spare room to dry and unluckily Fanny forgot to lock the door of the room and bring away the key so she was obliged to go again {para} Edmund got up and walked about the room saying And could nobody be employed on such an errand but Fanny Upon my word ma'am it has been a very ill managed business {para} I am sure I do not know how it was to have been done better cried Mrs Norris unable to be longer deaf unless I had gone myself indeed but I cannot be in two places at once and I was talking to Mr Green at that very time about your mother 's dairymaid by her desire and had promised John Groom to write to Mrs Jefferies about his son and the poor fellow was waiting for me half an hour I think nobody can justly accuse me of sparing myself upon any occasion but really I cannot do everything at once And as for Fanny 's just stepping down to my house for me it is not much above a quarter of a mile I cannot think I was unreasonable to ask it How often do I pace it three times a day early and late ay and in all weathers too and say nothing about it {para} I wish Fanny had half your strength ma'am {para} If Fanny would be more regular in her exercise she would not be knocked up so soon She has not been out on horseback now this long while and I am persuaded that when she does not ride she ought to walk If she had been riding before I should not have asked it of her But I thought it would rather do her good after being stooping among the roses for there is nothing so refreshing as a walk after a fatigue of that kind and though the sun was strong it was not so very hot Between ourselves Edmund nodding significantly at his mother it was cutting the roses and dawdling about in the flower garden that did the mischief {para} I am afraid it was indeed said the more candid Lady Bertram who had overheard her I am very much afraid she caught the headache there for the heat was enough to kill anybody It was as much as I could bear myself Sitting and calling to Pug and trying to keep him from the flower beds was almost too much for me {para} Edmund said no more to either lady but going quietly to another table on which the supper tray yet remained brought a glass of Madeira to Fanny and obliged her to drink the greater part She wished to be able to decline it but the tears which a variety of feelings created made it easier to swallow than to speak {para} Vexed as Edmund was with his mother and aunt he was still more angry with himself His own forgetfulness of her was worse than anything which they had done Nothing of this would have happened had she been properly considered but she had been left four days together without any choice of companions or exercise and without any excuse for avoiding whatever her unreasonable aunts might require He was ashamed to think that for four days together she had not had the power of riding and very seriously resolved however unwilling he must be to check a pleasure of Miss Crawford 's that it should never happen again {para} Fanny went to bed with her heart as full as on the first evening of her arrival at the Park The state of her spirits had probably had its share in her indisposition for she had been feeling neglected and been struggling against discontent and envy for some days past As she leant on the sofa to which she had retreated that she might not be seen the pain of her mind had been much beyond that in her head and the sudden change which Edmund 's kindness had then occasioned made her hardly know how to support herself {para} CHAPTER VIII {para} Fanny 's rides recommenced the very next day and as it was a pleasant fresh feeling morning less hot than the weather had lately been Edmund trusted that her losses both of health and pleasure would be soon made good While she was gone Mr Rushworth arrived escorting his mother who came to be civil and to shew her civility especially in urging the execution of the plan for visiting Sotherton which had been started a fortnight before and which in consequence of her subsequent absence from home had since lain dormant Mrs Norris and her nieces were all well pleased with its revival and an early day was named and agreed to provided Mr Crawford should be disengaged the young ladies did not forget that stipulation and though Mrs Norris would willingly have answered for his being so they would neither authorise the liberty nor run the risk and at last on a hint from Miss Bertram Mr Rushworth discovered that the properest thing to be done was for him to walk down to the Parsonage directly and call on Mr Crawford and inquire whether Wednesday would suit him or not {para} Before his return Mrs Grant and Miss Crawford came in Having been out some time and taken a different route to the house they had not met him Comfortable hopes however were given that he would find Mr Crawford at home The Sotherton scheme was mentioned of course It was hardly possible indeed that anything else should be talked of for Mrs Norris was in high spirits about it and Mrs Rushworth a well meaning civil prosing pompous woman who thought nothing of consequence but as it related to her own and her son 's concerns had not yet given over pressing Lady Bertram to be of the party Lady Bertram constantly declined it but her placid manner of refusal made Mrs Rushworth still think she wished to come till Mrs Norris 's more numerous words and louder tone convinced her of the truth {para} The fatigue would be too much for my sister a great deal too much I assure you my dear Mrs Rushworth Ten miles there and ten back you know You must excuse my sister on this occasion and accept of our two dear girls and myself without her Sotherton is the only place that could give her a wish to go so far but it cannot be indeed She will have a companion in Fanny Price you know so it will all do very well and as for Edmund as he is not here to speak for himself I will answer for his being most happy to join the party He can go on horseback you know {para} Mrs Rushworth being obliged to yield to Lady Bertram 's staying at home could only be sorry The loss of her ladyship 's company would be a great drawback and she should have been extremely happy to have seen the young lady too Miss Price who had never been at Sotherton yet and it was a pity she should not see the place {para} You are very kind you are all kindness my dear madam cried Mrs Norris but as to Fanny she will have opportunities in plenty of seeing Sotherton She has time enough before her and her going now is quite out of the question Lady Bertram could not possibly spare her {para} Oh no I cannot do without Fanny {para} Mrs Rushworth proceeded next under the conviction that everybody must be wanting to see Sotherton to include Miss Crawford in the invitation and though Mrs Grant who had not been at the trouble of visiting Mrs Rushworth on her coming into the neighbourhood civilly declined it on her own account she was glad to secure any pleasure for her sister and Mary properly pressed and persuaded was not long in accepting her share of the civility Mr Rushworth came back from the Parsonage successful and Edmund made his appearance just in time to learn what had been settled for Wednesday to attend Mrs Rushworth to her carriage and walk half way down the park with the two other ladies {para} On his return to the breakfast room he found Mrs Norris trying to make up her mind as to whether Miss Crawford 's being of the party were desirable or not or whether her brother 's barouche would not be full without her The Miss Bertrams laughed at the idea assuring her that the barouche would hold four perfectly well independent of the box on which one might go with him {para} But why is it necessary said Edmund that Crawford 's carriage or his only should be employed Why is no use to be made of my mother 's chaise I could not when the scheme was first mentioned the other day understand why a visit from the family were not to be made in the carriage of the family {para} What cried Julia go boxed up three in a postchaise in this weather when we may have seats in a barouche No my dear Edmund that will not quite do {para} Besides said Maria I know that Mr Crawford depends upon taking us After what passed at first he would claim it as a promise {para} And my dear Edmund added Mrs Norris taking out two carriages when one will do would be trouble for nothing and between ourselves coachman is not very fond of the roads between this and Sotherton he always complains bitterly of the narrow lanes scratching his carriage and you know one should not like to have dear Sir Thomas when he comes home find all the varnish scratched off {para} That would not be a very handsome reason for using Mr Crawford 's said Maria but the truth is that Wilcox is a stupid old fellow and does not know how to drive I will answer for it that we shall find no inconvenience from narrow roads on Wednesday {para} There is no hardship I suppose nothing unpleasant said Edmund in going on the barouche box {para} Unpleasant cried Maria oh dear I believe it would be generally thought the favourite seat There can be no comparison as to one 's view of the country Probably Miss Crawford will choose the barouche box herself {para} There can be no objection then to Fanny 's going with you there can be no doubt of your having room for her {para} Fanny repeated Mrs Norris my dear Edmund there is no idea of her going with us She stays with her aunt I told Mrs Rushworth so She is not expected {para} You can have no reason I imagine madam said he addressing his mother for wishing Fanny not to be of the party but as it relates to yourself to your own comfort If you could do without her you would not wish to keep her at home {para} To be sure not but I cannot do without her {para} You can if I stay at home with you as I mean to do {para} There was a general cry out at this Yes he continued there is no necessity for my going and I mean to stay at home Fanny has a great desire to see Sotherton I know she wishes it very much She has not often a gratification of the kind and I am sure ma'am you would be glad to give her the pleasure now {para} Oh yes very glad if your aunt sees no objection {para} Mrs Norris was very ready with the only objection which could remain their having positively assured Mrs Rushworth that Fanny could not go and the very strange appearance there would consequently be in taking her which seemed to her a difficulty quite impossible to be got over It must have the strangest appearance It would be something so very unceremonious so bordering on disrespect for Mrs Rushworth whose own manners were such a pattern of good breeding and attention that she really did not feel equal to it Mrs Norris had no affection for Fanny and no wish of procuring her pleasure at any time but her opposition to Edmund now arose more from partiality for her own scheme because it was her own than from anything else She felt that she had arranged everything extremely well and that any alteration must be for the worse When Edmund therefore told her in reply as he did when she would give him the hearing that she need not distress herself on Mrs Rushworth 's account because he had taken the opportunity as he walked with her through the hall of mentioning Miss Price as one who would probably be of the party and had directly received a very sufficient invitation for his cousin Mrs Norris was too much vexed to submit with a very good grace and would only say Very well very well just as you chuse settle it your own way I am sure I do not care about it {para} It seems very odd said Maria that you should be staying at home instead of Fanny {para} I am sure she ought to be very much obliged to you added Julia hastily leaving the room as she spoke from a consciousness that she ought to offer to stay at home herself {para} Fanny will feel quite as grateful as the occasion requires was Edmund 's only reply and the subject dropt {para} Fanny 's gratitude when she heard the plan was in fact much greater than her pleasure She felt Edmund 's kindness with all and more than all the sensibility which he unsuspicious of her fond attachment could be aware of but that he should forego any enjoyment on her account gave her pain and her own satisfaction in seeing Sotherton would be nothing without him {para} The next meeting of the two Mansfield families produced another alteration in the plan and one that was admitted with general approbation Mrs Grant offered herself as companion for the day to Lady Bertram in lieu of her son and Dr Grant was to join them at dinner Lady Bertram was very well pleased to have it so and the young ladies were in spirits again Even Edmund was very thankful for an arrangement which restored him to his share of the party and Mrs Norris thought it an excellent plan and had it at her tongue 's end and was on the point of proposing it when Mrs Grant spoke {para} Wednesday was fine and soon after breakfast the barouche arrived Mr Crawford driving his sisters and as everybody was ready there was nothing to be done but for Mrs Grant to alight and the others to take their places The place of all places the envied seat the post of honour was unappropriated To whose happy lot was it to fall While each of the Miss Bertrams were meditating how best and with the most appearance of obliging the others to secure it the matter was settled by Mrs Grant 's saying as she stepped from the carriage As there are five of you it will be better that one should sit with Henry and as you were saying lately that you wished you could drive Julia I think this will be a good opportunity for you to take a lesson {para} Happy Julia Unhappy Maria The former was on the barouche box in a moment the latter took her seat within in gloom and mortification and the carriage drove off amid the good wishes of the two remaining ladies and the barking of Pug in his mistress 's arms {para} Their road was through a pleasant country and Fanny whose rides had never been extensive was soon beyond her knowledge and was very happy in observing all that was new and admiring all that was pretty She was not often invited to join in the conversation of the others nor did she desire it Her own thoughts and reflections were habitually her best companions and in observing the appearance of the country the bearings of the roads the difference of soil the state of the harvest the cottages the cattle the children she found entertainment that could only have been heightened by having Edmund to speak to of what she felt That was the only point of resemblance between her and the lady who sat by her in everything but a value for Edmund Miss Crawford was very unlike her She had none of Fanny 's delicacy of taste of mind of feeling she saw Nature inanimate Nature with little observation her attention was all for men and women her talents for the light and lively In looking back after Edmund however when there was any stretch of road behind them or when he gained on them in ascending a considerable hill they were united and a there he is broke at the same moment from them both more than once {para} For the first seven miles Miss Bertram had very little real comfort her prospect always ended in Mr Crawford and her sister sitting side by side full of conversation and merriment and to see only his expressive profile as he turned with a smile to Julia or to catch the laugh of the other was a perpetual source of irritation which her own sense of propriety could but just smooth over When Julia looked back it was with a countenance of delight and whenever she spoke to them it was in the highest spirits her view of the country was charming she wished they could all see it etc but her only offer of exchange was addressed to Miss Crawford as they gained the summit of a long hill and was not more inviting than this Here is a fine burst of country I wish you had my seat but I dare say you will not take it let me press you ever so much and Miss Crawford could hardly answer before they were moving again at a good pace {para} When they came within the influence of Sotherton associations it was better for Miss Bertram who might be said to have two strings to her bow She had Rushworth feelings and Crawford feelings and in the vicinity of Sotherton the former had considerable effect Mr Rushworth 's consequence was hers She could not tell Miss Crawford that those woods belonged to Sotherton she could not carelessly observe that she believed that it was now all Mr Rushworth 's property on each side of the road without elation of heart and it was a pleasure to increase with their approach to the capital freehold mansion and ancient manorial residence of the family with all its rights of court leet and court baron {para} Now we shall have no more rough road Miss Crawford our difficulties are over The rest of the way is such as it ought to be Mr Rushworth has made it since he succeeded to the estate Here begins the village Those cottages are really a disgrace The church spire is reckoned remarkably handsome I am glad the church is not so close to the great house as often happens in old places The annoyance of the bells must be terrible There is the parsonage a tidy looking house and I understand the clergyman and his wife are very decent people Those are almshouses built by some of the family To the right is the steward 's house he is a very respectable man Now we are coming to the lodge gates but we have nearly a mile through the park still It is not ugly you see at this end there is some fine timber but the situation of the house is dreadful We go down hill to it for half a mile and it is a pity for it would not be an ill looking place if it had a better approach {para} Miss Crawford was not slow to admire she pretty well guessed Miss Bertram 's feelings and made it a point of honour to promote her enjoyment to the utmost Mrs Norris was all delight and volubility and even Fanny had something to say in admiration and might be heard with complacency Her eye was eagerly taking in everything within her reach and after being at some pains to get a view of the house and observing that it was a sort of building which she could not look at but with respect she added Now where is the avenue The house fronts the east I perceive The avenue therefore must be at the back of it Mr Rushworth talked of the west front {para} Yes it is exactly behind the house begins at a little distance and ascends for half a mile to the extremity of the grounds You may see something of it here something of the more distant trees It is oak entirely {para} Miss Bertram could now speak with decided information of what she had known nothing about when Mr Rushworth had asked her opinion and her spirits were in as happy a flutter as vanity and pride could furnish when they drove up to the spacious stone steps before the principal entrance {para} CHAPTER IX {para} Mr Rushworth was at the door to receive his fair lady and the whole party were welcomed by him with due attention In the drawing room they were met with equal cordiality by the mother and Miss Bertram had all the distinction with each that she could wish After the business of arriving was over it was first necessary to eat and the doors were thrown open to admit them through one or two intermediate rooms into the appointed dining parlour where a collation was prepared with abundance and elegance Much was said and much was ate and all went well The particular object of the day was then considered How would Mr Crawford like in what manner would he chuse to take a survey of the grounds Mr Rushworth mentioned his curricle Mr Crawford suggested the greater desirableness of some carriage which might convey more than two To be depriving themselves of the advantage of other eyes and other judgments might be an evil even beyond the loss of present pleasure {para} Mrs Rushworth proposed that the chaise should be taken also but this was scarcely received as an amendment the young ladies neither smiled nor spoke Her next proposition of shewing the house to such of them as had not been there before was more acceptable for Miss Bertram was pleased to have its size displayed and all were glad to be doing something {para} The whole party rose accordingly and under Mrs Rushworth 's guidance were shewn through a number of rooms all lofty and many large and amply furnished in the taste of fifty years back with shining floors solid mahogany rich damask marble gilding and carving each handsome in its way Of pictures there were abundance and some few good but the larger part were family portraits no longer anything to anybody but Mrs Rushworth who had been at great pains to learn all that the housekeeper could teach and was now almost equally well qualified to shew the house On the present occasion she addressed herself chiefly to Miss Crawford and Fanny but there was no comparison in the willingness of their attention for Miss Crawford who had seen scores of great houses and cared for none of them had only the appearance of civilly listening while Fanny to whom everything was almost as interesting as it was new attended with unaffected earnestness to all that Mrs Rushworth could relate of the family in former times its rise and grandeur regal visits and loyal efforts delighted to connect anything with history already known or warm her imagination with scenes of the past {para} The situation of the house excluded the possibility of much prospect from any of the rooms and while Fanny and some of the others were attending Mrs Rushworth Henry Crawford was looking grave and shaking his head at the windows Every room on the west front looked across a lawn to the beginning of the avenue immediately beyond tall iron palisades and gates {para} Having visited many more rooms than could be supposed to be of any other use than to contribute to the window tax and find employment for housemaids Now said Mrs Rushworth we are coming to the chapel which properly we ought to enter from above and look down upon but as we are quite among friends I will take you in this way if you will excuse me {para} They entered Fanny 's imagination had prepared her for something grander than a mere spacious oblong room fitted up for the purpose of devotion with nothing more striking or more solemn than the profusion of mahogany and the crimson velvet cushions appearing over the ledge of the family gallery above I am disappointed said she in a low voice to Edmund This is not my idea of a chapel There is nothing awful here nothing melancholy nothing grand Here are no aisles no arches no inscriptions no banners No banners cousin to be blown by the night wind of heaven No signs that a Scottish monarch sleeps below {para} You forget Fanny how lately all this has been built and for how confined a purpose compared with the old chapels of castles and monasteries It was only for the private use of the family They have been buried I suppose in the parish church There you must look for the banners and the achievements {para} It was foolish of me not to think of all that but I am disappointed {para} Mrs Rushworth began her relation This chapel was fitted up as you see it in James the Second 's time Before that period as I understand the pews were only wainscot and there is some reason to think that the linings and cushions of the pulpit and family seat were only purple cloth but this is not quite certain It is a handsome chapel and was formerly in constant use both morning and evening Prayers were always read in it by the domestic chaplain within the memory of many but the late Mr Rushworth left it off {para} Every generation has its improvements said Miss Crawford with a smile to Edmund {para} Mrs Rushworth was gone to repeat her lesson to Mr Crawford and Edmund Fanny and Miss Crawford remained in a cluster together {para} It is a pity cried Fanny that the custom should have been discontinued It was a valuable part of former times There is something in a chapel and chaplain so much in character with a great house with one 's ideas of what such a household should be A whole family assembling regularly for the purpose of prayer is fine {para} Very fine indeed said Miss Crawford laughing It must do the heads of the family a great deal of good to force all the poor housemaids and footmen to leave business and pleasure and say their prayers here twice a day while they are inventing excuses themselves for staying away {para} That is hardly Fanny 's idea of a family assembling said Edmund If the master and mistress do not attend themselves there must be more harm than good in the custom {para} At any rate it is safer to leave people to their own devices on such subjects Everybody likes to go their own way to chuse their own time and manner of devotion The obligation of attendance the formality the restraint the length of time altogether it is a formidable thing and what nobody likes and if the good people who used to kneel and gape in that gallery could have foreseen that the time would ever come when men and women might lie another ten minutes in bed when they woke with a headache without danger of reprobation because chapel was missed they would have jumped with joy and envy Cannot you imagine with what unwilling feelings the former belles of the house of Rushworth did many a time repair to this chapel The young Mrs Eleanors and Mrs Bridgets starched up into seeming piety but with heads full of something very different especially if the poor chaplain were not worth looking at and in those days I fancy parsons were very inferior even to what they are now {para} For a few moments she was unanswered Fanny coloured and looked at Edmund but felt too angry for speech and he needed a little recollection before he could say Your lively mind can hardly be serious even on serious subjects You have given us an amusing sketch and human nature cannot say it was not so We must all feel at times the difficulty of fixing our thoughts as we could wish but if you are supposing it a frequent thing that is to say a weakness grown into a habit from neglect what could be expected from the private devotions of such persons Do you think the minds which are suffered which are indulged in wanderings in a chapel would be more collected in a closet {para} Yes very likely They would have two chances at least in their favour There would be less to distract the attention from without and it would not be tried so long {para} The mind which does not struggle against itself under one circumstance would find objects to distract it in the other I believe and the influence of the place and of example may often rouse better feelings than are begun with The greater length of the service however I admit to be sometimes too hard a stretch upon the mind One wishes it were not so but I have not yet left Oxford long enough to forget what chapel prayers are {para} While this was passing the rest of the party being scattered about the chapel Julia called Mr Crawford 's attention to her sister by saying Do look at Mr Rushworth and Maria standing side by side exactly as if the ceremony were going to be performed Have not they completely the air of it {para} Mr Crawford smiled his acquiescence and stepping forward to Maria said in a voice which she only could hear I do not like to see Miss Bertram so near the altar {para} Starting the lady instinctively moved a step or two but recovering herself in a moment affected to laugh and asked him in a tone not much louder If he would give her away {para} I am afraid I should do it very awkwardly was his reply with a look of meaning {para} Julia joining them at the moment carried on the joke {para} Upon my word it is really a pity that it should not take place directly if we had but a proper licence for here we are altogether and nothing in the world could be more snug and pleasant And she talked and laughed about it with so little caution as to catch the comprehension of Mr Rushworth and his mother and expose her sister to the whispered gallantries of her lover while Mrs Rushworth spoke with proper smiles and dignity of its being a most happy event to her whenever it took place {para} If Edmund were but in orders cried Julia and running to where he stood with Miss Crawford and Fanny My dear Edmund if you were but in orders now you might perform the ceremony directly How unlucky that you are not ordained Mr Rushworth and Maria are quite ready {para} Miss Crawford 's countenance as Julia spoke might have amused a disinterested observer She looked almost aghast under the new idea she was receiving Fanny pitied her How distressed she will be at what she said just now passed across her mind {para} Ordained said Miss Crawford what are you to be a clergyman {para} Yes I shall take orders soon after my father 's return probably at Christmas {para} Miss Crawford rallying her spirits and recovering her complexion replied only If I had known this before I would have spoken of the cloth with more respect and turned the subject {para} The chapel was soon afterwards left to the silence and stillness which reigned in it with few interruptions throughout the year Miss Bertram displeased with her sister led the way and all seemed to feel that they had been there long enough {para} The lower part of the house had been now entirely shewn and Mrs Rushworth never weary in the cause would have proceeded towards the principal staircase and taken them through all the rooms above if her son had not interposed with a doubt of there being time enough For if said he with the sort of self evident proposition which many a clearer head does not always avoid we are too long going over the house we shall not have time for what is to be done out of doors It is past two and we are to dine at five {para} Mrs Rushworth submitted and the question of surveying the grounds with the who and the how was likely to be more fully agitated and Mrs Norris was beginning to arrange by what junction of carriages and horses most could be done when the young people meeting with an outward door temptingly open on a flight of steps which led immediately to turf and shrubs and all the sweets of pleasure grounds as by one impulse one wish for air and liberty all walked out {para} Suppose we turn down here for the present said Mrs Rushworth civilly taking the hint and following them Here are the greatest number of our plants and here are the curious pheasants {para} Query said Mr Crawford looking round him whether we may not find something to employ us here before we go farther I see walls of great promise Mr Rushworth shall we summon a council on this lawn {para} James said Mrs Rushworth to her son I believe the wilderness will be new to all the party The Miss Bertrams have never seen the wilderness yet {para} No objection was made but for some time there seemed no inclination to move in any plan or to any distance All were attracted at first by the plants or the pheasants and all dispersed about in happy independence Mr Crawford was the first to move forward to examine the capabilities of that end of the house The lawn bounded on each side by a high wall contained beyond the first planted area a bowling green and beyond the bowling green a long terrace walk backed by iron palisades and commanding a view over them into the tops of the trees of the wilderness immediately adjoining It was a good spot for fault finding Mr Crawford was soon followed by Miss Bertram and Mr Rushworth and when after a little time the others began to form into parties these three were found in busy consultation on the terrace by Edmund Miss Crawford and Fanny who seemed as naturally to unite and who after a short participation of their regrets and difficulties left them and walked on The remaining three Mrs Rushworth Mrs Norris and Julia were still far behind for Julia whose happy star no longer prevailed was obliged to keep by the side of Mrs Rushworth and restrain her impatient feet to that lady 's slow pace while her aunt having fallen in with the housekeeper who was come out to feed the pheasants was lingering behind in gossip with her Poor Julia the only one out of the nine not tolerably satisfied with their lot was now in a state of complete penance and as different from the Julia of the barouche box as could well be imagined The politeness which she had been brought up to practise as a duty made it impossible for her to escape while the want of that higher species of self command that just consideration of others that knowledge of her own heart that principle of right which had not formed any essential part of her education made her miserable under it {para} This is insufferably hot said Miss Crawford when they had taken one turn on the terrace and were drawing a second time to the door in the middle which opened to the wilderness Shall any of us object to being comfortable Here is a nice little wood if one can but get into it What happiness if the door should not be locked but of course it is for in these great places the gardeners are the only people who can go where they like {para} The door however proved not to be locked and they were all agreed in turning joyfully through it and leaving the unmitigated glare of day behind A considerable flight of steps landed them in the wilderness which was a planted wood of about two acres and though chiefly of larch and laurel and beech cut down and though laid out with too much regularity was darkness and shade and natural beauty compared with the bowling green and the terrace They all felt the refreshment of it and for some time could only walk and admire At length after a short pause Miss Crawford began with So you are to be a clergyman Mr Bertram This is rather a surprise to me {para} Why should it surprise you You must suppose me designed for some profession and might perceive that I am neither a lawyer nor a soldier nor a sailor {para} Very true but in short it had not occurred to me And you know there is generally an uncle or a grandfather to leave a fortune to the second son {para} A very praiseworthy practice said Edmund but not quite universal I am one of the exceptions and being one must do something for myself {para} But why are you to be a clergyman I thought that was always the lot of the youngest where there were many to chuse before him {para} Do you think the church itself never chosen then {para} Never is a black word But yes in the never of conversation which means not very often I do think it For what is to be done in the church Men love to distinguish themselves and in either of the other lines distinction may be gained but not in the church A clergyman is nothing {para} The nothing of conversation has its gradations I hope as well as the never A clergyman cannot be high in state or fashion He must not head mobs or set the ton in dress But I cannot call that situation nothing which has the charge of all that is of the first importance to mankind individually or collectively considered temporally and eternally which has the guardianship of religion and morals and consequently of the manners which result from their influence No one here can call the office nothing If the man who holds it is so it is by the neglect of his duty by foregoing its just importance and stepping out of his place to appear what he ought not to appear {para} You assign greater consequence to the clergyman than one has been used to hear given or than I can quite comprehend One does not see much of this influence and importance in society and how can it be acquired where they are so seldom seen themselves How can two sermons a week even supposing them worth hearing supposing the preacher to have the sense to prefer Blair 's to his own do all that you speak of govern the conduct and fashion the manners of a large congregation for the rest of the week One scarcely sees a clergyman out of his pulpit {para} You are speaking of London I am speaking of the nation at large {para} The metropolis I imagine is a pretty fair sample of the rest {para} Not I should hope of the proportion of virtue to vice throughout the kingdom We do not look in great cities for our best morality It is not there that respectable people of any denomination can do most good and it certainly is not there that the influence of the clergy can be most felt A fine preacher is followed and admired but it is not in fine preaching only that a good clergyman will be useful in his parish and his neighbourhood where the parish and neighbourhood are of a size capable of knowing his private character and observing his general conduct which in London can rarely be the case The clergy are lost there in the crowds of their parishioners They are known to the largest part only as preachers And with regard to their influencing public manners Miss Crawford must not misunderstand me or suppose I mean to call them the arbiters of good breeding the regulators of refinement and courtesy the masters of the ceremonies of life The manners I speak of might rather be called conduct perhaps the result of good principles the effect in short of those doctrines which it is their duty to teach and recommend and it will I believe be everywhere found that as the clergy are or are not what they ought to be so are the rest of the nation {para} Certainly said Fanny with gentle earnestness {para} There cried Miss Crawford you have quite convinced Miss Price already {para} I wish I could convince Miss Crawford too {para} I do not think you ever will said she with an arch smile I am just as much surprised now as I was at first that you should intend to take orders You really are fit for something better Come do change your mind It is not too late Go into the law {para} Go into the law With as much ease as I was told to go into this wilderness {para} Now you are going to say something about law being the worst wilderness of the two but I forestall you remember I have forestalled you {para} You need not hurry when the object is only to prevent my saying a bon mot for there is not the least wit in my nature I am a very matter of fact plain spoken being and may blunder on the borders of a repartee for half an hour together without striking it out {para} A general silence succeeded Each was thoughtful Fanny made the first interruption by saying I wonder that I should be tired with only walking in this sweet wood but the next time we come to a seat if it is not disagreeable to you I should be glad to sit down for a little while {para} My dear Fanny cried Edmund immediately drawing her arm within his how thoughtless I have been I hope you are not very tired Perhaps turning to Miss Crawford my other companion may do me the honour of taking an arm {para} Thank you but I am not at all tired She took it however as she spoke and the gratification of having her do so of feeling such a connexion for the first time made him a little forgetful of Fanny You scarcely touch me said he You do not make me of any use What a difference in the weight of a woman 's arm from that of a man At Oxford I have been a good deal used to have a man lean on me for the length of a street and you are only a fly in the comparison {para} I am really not tired which I almost wonder at for we must have walked at least a mile in this wood Do not you think we have {para} Not half a mile was his sturdy answer for he was not yet so much in love as to measure distance or reckon time with feminine lawlessness {para} Oh you do not consider how much we have wound about We have taken such a very serpentine course and the wood itself must be half a mile long in a straight line for we have never seen the end of it yet since we left the first great path {para} But if you remember before we left that first great path we saw directly to the end of it We looked down the whole vista and saw it closed by iron gates and it could not have been more than a furlong in length {para} Oh I know nothing of your furlongs but I am sure it is a very long wood and that we have been winding in and out ever since we came into it and therefore when I say that we have walked a mile in it I must speak within compass {para} We have been exactly a quarter of an hour here said Edmund taking out his watch Do you think we are walking four miles an hour {para} Oh do not attack me with your watch A watch is always too fast or too slow I cannot be dictated to by a watch {para} A few steps farther brought them out at the bottom of the very walk they had been talking of and standing back well shaded and sheltered and looking over a ha ha into the park was a comfortable sized bench on which they all sat down {para} I am afraid you are very tired Fanny said Edmund observing her why would not you speak sooner This will be a bad day 's amusement for you if you are to be knocked up Every sort of exercise fatigues her so soon Miss Crawford except riding {para} How abominable in you then to let me engross her horse as I did all last week I am ashamed of you and of myself but it shall never happen again {para} Your attentiveness and consideration makes me more sensible of my own neglect Fanny 's interest seems in safer hands with you than with me {para} That she should be tired now however gives me no surprise for there is nothing in the course of one 's duties so fatiguing as what we have been doing this morning seeing a great house dawdling from one room to another straining one 's eyes and one 's attention hearing what one does not understand admiring what one does not care for It is generally allowed to be the greatest bore in the world and Miss Price has found it so though she did not know it {para} I shall soon be rested said Fanny to sit in the shade on a fine day and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment {para} After sitting a little while Miss Crawford was up again I must move said she resting fatigues me I have looked across the ha ha till I am weary I must go and look through that iron gate at the same view without being able to see it so well {para} Edmund left the seat likewise Now Miss Crawford if you will look up the walk you will convince yourself that it cannot be half a mile long or half half a mile {para} It is an immense distance said she I see that with a glance {para} He still reasoned with her but in vain She would not calculate she would not compare She would only smile and assert The greatest degree of rational consistency could not have been more engaging and they talked with mutual satisfaction At last it was agreed that they should endeavour to determine the dimensions of the wood by walking a little more about it They would go to one end of it in the line they were then in for there was a straight green walk along the bottom by the side of the ha ha and perhaps turn a little way in some other direction if it seemed likely to assist them and be back in a few minutes Fanny said she was rested and would have moved too but this was not suffered Edmund urged her remaining where she was with an earnestness which she could not resist and she was left on the bench to think with pleasure of her cousin 's care but with great regret that she was not stronger She watched them till they had turned the corner and listened till all sound of them had ceased {para} CHAPTER X {para} A quarter of an hour twenty minutes passed away and Fanny was still thinking of Edmund Miss Crawford and herself without interruption from any one She began to be surprised at being left so long and to listen with an anxious desire of hearing their steps and their voices again She listened and at length she heard she heard voices and feet approaching but she had just satisfied herself that it was not those she wanted when Miss Bertram Mr Rushworth and Mr Crawford issued from the same path which she had trod herself and were before her {para} Miss Price all alone and My dear Fanny how comes this were the first salutations She told her story Poor dear Fanny cried her cousin how ill you have been used by them You had better have staid with us {para} Then seating herself with a gentleman on each side she resumed the conversation which had engaged them before and discussed the possibility of improvements with much animation Nothing was fixed on but Henry Crawford was full of ideas and projects and generally speaking whatever he proposed was immediately approved first by her and then by Mr Rushworth whose principal business seemed to be to hear the others and who scarcely risked an original thought of his own beyond a wish that they had seen his friend Smith 's place {para} After some minutes spent in this way Miss Bertram observing the iron gate expressed a wish of passing through it into the park that their views and their plans might be more comprehensive It was the very thing of all others to be wished it was the best it was the only way of proceeding with any advantage in Henry Crawford 's opinion and he directly saw a knoll not half a mile off which would give them exactly the requisite command of the house Go therefore they must to that knoll and through that gate but the gate was locked Mr Rushworth wished he had brought the key he had been very near thinking whether he should not bring the key he was determined he would never come without the key again but still this did not remove the present evil They could not get through and as Miss Bertram 's inclination for so doing did by no means lessen it ended in Mr Rushworth 's declaring outright that he would go and fetch the key He set off accordingly {para} It is undoubtedly the best thing we can do now as we are so far from the house already said Mr Crawford when he was gone {para} Yes there is nothing else to be done But now sincerely do not you find the place altogether worse than you expected {para} No indeed far otherwise I find it better grander more complete in its style though that style may not be the best And to tell you the truth speaking rather lower I do not think that I shall ever see Sotherton again with so much pleasure as I do now Another summer will hardly improve it to me {para} After a moment 's embarrassment the lady replied You are too much a man of the world not to see with the eyes of the world If other people think Sotherton improved I have no doubt that you will {para} I am afraid I am not quite so much the man of the world as might be good for me in some points My feelings are not quite so evanescent nor my memory of the past under such easy dominion as one finds to be the case with men of the world {para} This was followed by a short silence Miss Bertram began again You seemed to enjoy your drive here very much this morning I was glad to see you so well entertained You and Julia were laughing the whole way {para} Were we Yes I believe we were but I have not the least recollection at what Oh I believe I was relating to her some ridiculous stories of an old Irish groom of my uncle 's Your sister loves to laugh {para} You think her more light hearted than I am {para} More easily amused he replied consequently you know smiling better company I could not have hoped to entertain you with Irish anecdotes during a ten miles drive {para} Naturally I believe I am as lively as Julia but I have more to think of now {para} You have undoubtedly and there are situations in which very high spirits would denote insensibility Your prospects however are too fair to justify want of spirits You have a very smiling scene before you {para} Do you mean literally or figuratively Literally I conclude Yes certainly the sun shines and the park looks very cheerful But unluckily that iron gate that ha ha give me a feeling of restraint and hardship I cannot get out as the starling said As she spoke and it was with expression she walked to the gate he followed her Mr Rushworth is so long fetching this key {para} And for the world you would not get out without the key and without Mr Rushworth 's authority and protection or I think you might with little difficulty pass round the edge of the gate here with my assistance I think it might be done if you really wished to be more at large and could allow yourself to think it not prohibited {para} Prohibited nonsense I certainly can get out that way and I will Mr Rushworth will be here in a moment you know we shall not be out of sight {para} Or if we are Miss Price will be so good as to tell him that he will find us near that knoll the grove of oak on the knoll {para} Fanny feeling all this to be wrong could not help making an effort to prevent it You will hurt yourself Miss Bertram she cried you will certainly hurt yourself against those spikes you will tear your gown you will be in danger of slipping into the ha ha You had better not go {para} Her cousin was safe on the other side while these words were spoken and smiling with all the good humour of success she said Thank you my dear Fanny but I and my gown are alive and well and so good bye {para} Fanny was again left to her solitude and with no increase of pleasant feelings for she was sorry for almost all that she had seen and heard astonished at Miss Bertram and angry with Mr Crawford By taking a circuitous route and as it appeared to her very unreasonable direction to the knoll they were soon beyond her eye and for some minutes longer she remained without sight or sound of any companion She seemed to have the little wood all to herself She could almost have thought that Edmund and Miss Crawford had left it but that it was impossible for Edmund to forget her so entirely {para} She was again roused from disagreeable musings by sudden footsteps {para} somebody was coming at a quick pace down the principal walk She expected Mr Rushworth but it was Julia who hot and out of breath and with a look of disappointment cried out on seeing her Heyday Where are the others I thought Maria and Mr Crawford were with you {para} Fanny explained {para} A pretty trick upon my word I cannot see them anywhere looking eagerly into the park But they cannot be very far off and I think I am equal to as much as Maria even without help {para} But Julia Mr Rushworth will be here in a moment with the key Do wait for Mr Rushworth {para} Not I indeed I have had enough of the family for one morning Why child I have but this moment escaped from his horrible mother Such a penance as I have been enduring while you were sitting here so composed and so happy It might have been as well perhaps if you had been in my place but you always contrive to keep out of these scrapes {para} This was a most unjust reflection but Fanny could allow for it and let it pass Julia was vexed and her temper was hasty but she felt that it would not last and therefore taking no notice only asked her if she had not seen Mr Rushworth {para} Yes yes we saw him He was posting away as if upon life and death and could but just spare time to tell us his errand and where you all were {para} It is a pity he should have so much trouble for nothing {para} That is Miss Maria 's concern I am not obliged to punish myself for her sins The mother I could not avoid as long as my tiresome aunt was dancing about with the housekeeper but the son I can get away from {para} And she immediately scrambled across the fence and walked away not attending to Fanny 's last question of whether she had seen anything of Miss Crawford and Edmund The sort of dread in which Fanny now sat of seeing Mr Rushworth prevented her thinking so much of their continued absence however as she might have done She felt that he had been very ill used and was quite unhappy in having to communicate what had passed He joined her within five minutes after Julia 's exit and though she made the best of the story he was evidently mortified and displeased in no common degree At first he scarcely said anything his looks only expressed his extreme surprise and vexation and he walked to the gate and stood there without seeming to know what to do {para} They desired me to stay my cousin Maria charged me to say that you would find them at that knoll or thereabouts {para} I do not believe I shall go any farther said he sullenly I see nothing of them By the time I get to the knoll they may be gone somewhere else I have had walking enough {para} And he sat down with a most gloomy countenance by Fanny {para} I am very sorry said she it is very unlucky And she longed to be able to say something more to the purpose {para} After an interval of silence I think they might as well have staid for me said he {para} Miss Bertram thought you would follow her {para} I should not have had to follow her if she had staid {para} This could not be denied and Fanny was silenced After another pause he went on Pray Miss Price are you such a great admirer of this Mr Crawford as some people are For my part I can see nothing in him {para} I do not think him at all handsome {para} Handsome Nobody can call such an undersized man handsome He is not five foot nine I should not wonder if he is not more than five foot eight I think he is an ill looking fellow In my opinion these Crawfords are no addition at all We did very well without them {para} A small sigh escaped Fanny here and she did not know how to contradict him {para} If I had made any difficulty about fetching the key there might have been some excuse but I went the very moment she said she wanted it {para} Nothing could be more obliging than your manner I am sure and I dare say you walked as fast as you could but still it is some distance you know from this spot to the house quite into the house and when people are waiting they are bad judges of time and every half minute seems like five {para} He got up and walked to the gate again and wished he had had the key about him at the time Fanny thought she discerned in his standing there an indication of relenting which encouraged her to another attempt and she said therefore It is a pity you should not join them They expected to have a better view of the house from that part of the park and will be thinking how it may be improved and nothing of that sort you know can be settled without you {para} She found herself more successful in sending away than in retaining a companion Mr Rushworth was worked on Well said he if you really think I had better go it would be foolish to bring the key for nothing And letting himself out he walked off without farther ceremony {para} Fanny 's thoughts were now all engrossed by the two who had left her so long ago and getting quite impatient she resolved to go in search of them She followed their steps along the bottom walk and had just turned up into another when the voice and the laugh of Miss Crawford once more caught her ear the sound approached and a few more windings brought them before her They were just returned into the wilderness from the park to which a sidegate not fastened had tempted them very soon after their leaving her and they had been across a portion of the park into the very avenue which Fanny had been hoping the whole morning to reach at last and had been sitting down under one of the trees This was their history It was evident that they had been spending their time pleasantly and were not aware of the length of their absence Fanny 's best consolation was in being assured that Edmund had wished for her very much and that he should certainly have come back for her had she not been tired already but this was not quite sufficient to do away with the pain of having been left a whole hour when he had talked of only a few minutes nor to banish the sort of curiosity she felt to know what they had been conversing about all that time and the result of the whole was to her disappointment and depression as they prepared by general agreement to return to the house {para} On reaching the bottom of the steps to the terrace Mrs Rushworth and Mrs Norris presented themselves at the top just ready for the wilderness at the end of an hour and a half from their leaving the house Mrs Norris had been too well employed to move faster Whatever cross accidents had occurred to intercept the pleasures of her nieces she had found a morning of complete enjoyment for the housekeeper after a great many courtesies on the subject of pheasants had taken her to the dairy told her all about their cows and given her the receipt for a famous cream cheese and since Julia 's leaving them they had been met by the gardener with whom she had made a most satisfactory acquaintance for she had set him right as to his grandson 's illness convinced him that it was an ague and promised him a charm for it and he in return had shewn her all his choicest nursery of plants and actually presented her with a very curious specimen of heath {para} On this rencontre they all returned to the house together there to lounge away the time as they could with sofas and chit chat and Quarterly Reviews till the return of the others and the arrival of dinner It was late before the Miss Bertrams and the two gentlemen came in and their ramble did not appear to have been more than partially agreeable or at all productive of anything useful with regard to the object of the day By their own accounts they had been all walking after each other and the junction which had taken place at last seemed to Fanny 's observation to have been as much too late for re establishing harmony as it confessedly had been for determining on any alteration She felt as she looked at Julia and Mr Rushworth that hers was not the only dissatisfied bosom amongst them there was gloom on the face of each Mr Crawford and Miss Bertram were much more gay and she thought that he was taking particular pains during dinner to do away any little resentment of the other two and restore general good humour {para} Dinner was soon followed by tea and coffee a ten miles drive home allowed no waste of hours and from the time of their sitting down to table it was a quick succession of busy nothings till the carriage came to the door and Mrs Norris having fidgeted about and obtained a few pheasants eggs and a cream cheese from the housekeeper and made abundance of civil speeches to Mrs Rushworth was ready to lead the way At the same moment Mr Crawford approaching Julia said I hope I am not to lose my companion unless she is afraid of the evening air in so exposed a seat The request had not been foreseen but was very graciously received and Julia 's day was likely to end almost as well as it began Miss Bertram had made up her mind to something different and was a little disappointed but her conviction of being really the one preferred comforted her under it and enabled her to receive Mr Rushworth 's parting attentions as she ought He was certainly better pleased to hand her into the barouche than to assist her in ascending the box and his complacency seemed confirmed by the arrangement {para} Well Fanny this has been a fine day for you upon my word said Mrs Norris as they drove through the park Nothing but pleasure from beginning to end I am sure you ought to be very much obliged to your aunt Bertram and me for contriving to let you go A pretty good day 's amusement you have had {para} Maria was just discontented enough to say directly I think you have done pretty well yourself ma'am Your lap seems full of good things and here is a basket of something between us which has been knocking my elbow unmercifully {para} My dear it is only a beautiful little heath which that nice old gardener would make me take but if it is in your way I will have it in my lap directly There Fanny you shall carry that parcel for me take great care of it do not let it fall it is a cream cheese just like the excellent one we had at dinner Nothing would satisfy that good old Mrs Whitaker but my taking one of the cheeses I stood out as long as I could till the tears almost came into her eyes and I knew it was just the sort that my sister would be delighted with That Mrs Whitaker is a treasure She was quite shocked when I asked her whether wine was allowed at the second table and she has turned away two housemaids for wearing white gowns Take care of the cheese Fanny Now I can manage the other parcel and the basket very well {para} What else have you been spunging said Maria half pleased that Sotherton should be so complimented {para} Spunging my dear It is nothing but four of those beautiful pheasants eggs which Mrs Whitaker would quite force upon me she would not take a denial She said it must be such an amusement to me as she understood I lived quite alone to have a few living creatures of that sort and so to be sure it will I shall get the dairymaid to set them under the first spare hen and if they come to good I can have them moved to my own house and borrow a coop and it will be a great delight to me in my lonely hours to attend to them And if I have good luck your mother shall have some {para} It was a beautiful evening mild and still and the drive was as pleasant as the serenity of Nature could make it but when Mrs Norris ceased speaking it was altogether a silent drive to those within Their spirits were in general exhausted and to determine whether the day had afforded most pleasure or pain might occupy the meditations of almost all {para} CHAPTER XI {para} The day at Sotherton with all its imperfections afforded the Miss Bertrams much more agreeable feelings than were derived from the letters from Antigua which soon afterwards reached Mansfield It was much pleasanter to think of Henry Crawford than of their father and to think of their father in England again within a certain period which these letters obliged them to do was a most unwelcome exercise {para} November was the black month fixed for his return Sir Thomas wrote of it with as much decision as experience and anxiety could authorise His business was so nearly concluded as to justify him in proposing to take his passage in the September packet and he consequently looked forward with the hope of being with his beloved family again early in November {para} Maria was more to be pitied than Julia for to her the father brought a husband and the return of the friend most solicitous for her happiness would unite her to the lover on whom she had chosen that happiness should depend It was a gloomy prospect and all she could do was to throw a mist over it and hope when the mist cleared away she should see something else It would hardly be early in November there were generally delays a bad passage or something that favouring something which everybody who shuts their eyes while they look or their understandings while they reason feels the comfort of It would probably be the middle of November at least the middle of November was three months off Three months comprised thirteen weeks Much might happen in thirteen weeks {para} Sir Thomas would have been deeply mortified by a suspicion of half that his daughters felt on the subject of his return and would hardly have found consolation in a knowledge of the interest it excited in the breast of another young lady Miss Crawford on walking up with her brother to spend the evening at Mansfield Park heard the good news and though seeming to have no concern in the affair beyond politeness and to have vented all her feelings in a quiet congratulation heard it with an attention not so easily satisfied Mrs Norris gave the particulars of the letters and the subject was dropt but after tea as Miss Crawford was standing at an open window with Edmund and Fanny looking out on a twilight scene while the Miss Bertrams Mr Rushworth and Henry Crawford were all busy with candles at the pianoforte she suddenly revived it by turning round towards the group and saying How happy Mr Rushworth looks He is thinking of November {para} Edmund looked round at Mr Rushworth too but had nothing to say {para} Your father 's return will be a very interesting event {para} It will indeed after such an absence an absence not only long but including so many dangers {para} It will be the forerunner also of other interesting events your sister 's marriage and your taking orders {para} Yes {para} Don't be affronted said she laughing but it does put me in mind of some of the old heathen heroes who after performing great exploits in a foreign land offered sacrifices to the gods on their safe return {para} There is no sacrifice in the case replied Edmund with a serious smile and glancing at the pianoforte again it is entirely her own doing {para} Oh yes I know it is I was merely joking She has done no more than what every young woman would do and I have no doubt of her being extremely happy My other sacrifice of course you do not understand {para} My taking orders I assure you is quite as voluntary as Maria 's marrying {para} It is fortunate that your inclination and your father 's convenience should accord so well There is a very good living kept for you I understand hereabouts {para} Which you suppose has biassed me {para} But that I am sure it has not cried Fanny {para} Thank you for your good word Fanny but it is more than I would affirm myself On the contrary the knowing that there was such a provision for me probably did bias me Nor can I think it wrong that it should There was no natural disinclination to be overcome and I see no reason why a man should make a worse clergyman for knowing that he will have a competence early in life I was in safe hands I hope I should not have been influenced myself in a wrong way and I am sure my father was too conscientious to have allowed it I have no doubt that I was biased but I think it was blamelessly {para} It is the same sort of thing said Fanny after a short pause as for the son of an admiral to go into the navy or the son of a general to be in the army and nobody sees anything wrong in that Nobody wonders that they should prefer the line where their friends can serve them best or suspects them to be less in earnest in it than they appear {para} No my dear Miss Price and for reasons good The profession either navy or army is its own justification It has everything in its favour heroism danger bustle fashion Soldiers and sailors are always acceptable in society Nobody can wonder that men are soldiers and sailors {para} But the motives of a man who takes orders with the certainty of preferment may be fairly suspected you think said Edmund To be justified in your eyes he must do it in the most complete uncertainty of any provision {para} What take orders without a living No that is madness indeed absolute madness {para} Shall I ask you how the church is to be filled if a man is neither to take orders with a living nor without No for you certainly would not know what to say But I must beg some advantage to the clergyman from your own argument As he cannot be influenced by those feelings which you rank highly as temptation and reward to the soldier and sailor in their choice of a profession as heroism and noise and fashion are all against him he ought to be less liable to the suspicion of wanting sincerity or good intentions in the choice of his {para} Oh no doubt he is very sincere in preferring an income ready made to the trouble of working for one and has the best intentions of doing nothing all the rest of his days but eat drink and grow fat It is indolence Mr Bertram indeed Indolence and love of ease a want of all laudable ambition of taste for good company or of inclination to take the trouble of being agreeable which make men clergymen A clergyman has nothing to do but be slovenly and selfish read the newspaper watch the weather and quarrel with his wife His curate does all the work and the business of his own life is to dine {para} There are such clergymen no doubt but I think they are not so common as to justify Miss Crawford in esteeming it their general character I suspect that in this comprehensive and may I say commonplace censure you are not judging from yourself but from prejudiced persons whose opinions you have been in the habit of hearing It is impossible that your own observation can have given you much knowledge of the clergy You can have been personally acquainted with very few of a set of men you condemn so conclusively You are speaking what you have been told at your uncle 's table {para} I speak what appears to me the general opinion and where an opinion is general it is usually correct Though I have not seen much of the domestic lives of clergymen it is seen by too many to leave any deficiency of information {para} Where any one body of educated men of whatever denomination are condemned indiscriminately there must be a deficiency of information or smiling of something else Your uncle and his brother admirals perhaps knew little of clergymen beyond the chaplains whom good or bad they were always wishing away {para} Poor William He has met with great kindness from the chaplain of the Antwerp was a tender apostrophe of Fanny 's very much to the purpose of her own feelings if not of the conversation {para} I have been so little addicted to take my opinions from my uncle said Miss Crawford that I can hardly suppose and since you push me so hard I must observe that I am not entirely without the means of seeing what clergymen are being at this present time the guest of my own brother Dr Grant And though Dr Grant is most kind and obliging to me and though he is really a gentleman and I dare say a good scholar and clever and often preaches good sermons and is very respectable I see him to be an indolent selfish bon vivant who must have his palate consulted in everything who will not stir a finger for the convenience of any one and who moreover if the cook makes a blunder is out of humour with his excellent wife To own the truth Henry and I were partly driven out this very evening by a disappointment about a green goose which he could not get the better of My poor sister was forced to stay and bear it {para} I do not wonder at your disapprobation upon my word It is a great defect of temper made worse by a very faulty habit of self indulgence and to see your sister suffering from it must be exceedingly painful to such feelings as yours Fanny it goes against us We cannot attempt to defend Dr Grant {para} No replied Fanny but we need not give up his profession for all that because whatever profession Dr Grant had chosen he would have taken a not a good temper into it and as he must either in the navy or army have had a great many more people under his command than he has now I think more would have been made unhappy by him as a sailor or soldier than as a clergyman Besides I cannot but suppose that whatever there may be to wish otherwise in Dr Grant would have been in a greater danger of becoming worse in a more active and worldly profession where he would have had less time and obligation where he might have escaped that knowledge of himself the frequency at least of that knowledge which it is impossible he should escape as he is now A man a sensible man like Dr Grant cannot be in the habit of teaching others their duty every week cannot go to church twice every Sunday and preach such very good sermons in so good a manner as he does without being the better for it himself It must make him think and I have no doubt that he oftener endeavours to restrain himself than he would if he had been anything but a clergyman {para} We cannot prove to the contrary to be sure but I wish you a better fate Miss Price than to be the wife of a man whose amiableness depends upon his own sermons for though he may preach himself into a good humour every Sunday it will be bad enough to have him quarrelling about green geese from Monday morning till Saturday night {para} I think the man who could often quarrel with Fanny said Edmund affectionately must be beyond the reach of any sermons {para} Fanny turned farther into the window and Miss Crawford had only time to say in a pleasant manner I fancy Miss Price has been more used to deserve praise than to hear it when being earnestly invited by the Miss Bertrams to join in a glee she tripped off to the instrument leaving Edmund looking after her in an ecstasy of admiration of all her many virtues from her obliging manners down to her light and graceful tread {para} There goes good humour I am sure said he presently There goes a temper which would never give pain How well she walks and how readily she falls in with the inclination of others joining them the moment she is asked What a pity he added after an instant 's reflection that she should have been in such hands {para} Fanny agreed to it and had the pleasure of seeing him continue at the window with her in spite of the expected glee and of having his eyes soon turned like hers towards the scene without where all that was solemn and soothing and lovely appeared in the brilliancy of an unclouded night and the contrast of the deep shade of the woods Fanny spoke her feelings Here 's harmony said she here 's repose Here 's what may leave all painting and all music behind and what poetry only can attempt to describe Here 's what may tranquillise every care and lift the heart to rapture When I look out on such a night as this I feel as if there could be neither wickedness nor sorrow in the world and there certainly would be less of both if the sublimity of Nature were more attended to and people were carried more out of themselves by contemplating such a scene {para} I like to hear your enthusiasm Fanny It is a lovely night and they are much to be pitied who have not been taught to feel in some degree as you do who have not at least been given a taste for Nature in early life They lose a great deal {para} You taught me to think and feel on the subject cousin {para} I had a very apt scholar There 's Arcturus looking very bright {para} Yes and the Bear I wish I could see Cassiopeia {para} We must go out on the lawn for that Should you be afraid {para} Not in the least It is a great while since we have had any star gazing {para} Yes I do not know how it has happened The glee began We will stay till this is finished Fanny said he turning his back on the window and as it advanced she had the mortification of seeing him advance too moving forward by gentle degrees towards the instrument and when it ceased he was close by the singers among the most urgent in requesting to hear the glee again {para} Fanny sighed alone at the window till scolded away by Mrs Norris 's threats of catching cold {para} CHAPTER XII {para} Sir Thomas was to return in November and his eldest son had duties to call him earlier home The approach of September brought tidings of Mr Bertram first in a letter to the gamekeeper and then in a letter to Edmund and by the end of August he arrived himself to be gay agreeable and gallant again as occasion served or Miss Crawford demanded to tell of races and Weymouth and parties and friends to which she might have listened six weeks before with some interest and altogether to give her the fullest conviction by the power of actual comparison of her preferring his younger brother {para} It was very vexatious and she was heartily sorry for it but so it was and so far from now meaning to marry the elder she did not even want to attract him beyond what the simplest claims of conscious beauty required his lengthened absence from Mansfield without anything but pleasure in view and his own will to consult made it perfectly clear that he did not care about her and his indifference was so much more than equalled by her own that were he now to step forth the owner of Mansfield Park the Sir Thomas complete which he was to be in time she did not believe she could accept him {para} The season and duties which brought Mr Bertram back to Mansfield took Mr Crawford into Norfolk Everingham could not do without him in the beginning of September He went for a fortnight a fortnight of such dullness to the Miss Bertrams as ought to have put them both on their guard and made even Julia admit in her jealousy of her sister the absolute necessity of distrusting his attentions and wishing him not to return and a fortnight of sufficient leisure in the intervals of shooting and sleeping to have convinced the gentleman that he ought to keep longer away had he been more in the habit of examining his own motives and of reflecting to what the indulgence of his idle vanity was tending but thoughtless and selfish from prosperity and bad example he would not look beyond the present moment The sisters handsome clever and encouraging were an amusement to his sated mind and finding nothing in Norfolk to equal the social pleasures of Mansfield he gladly returned to it at the time appointed and was welcomed thither quite as gladly by those whom he came to trifle with further {para} Maria with only Mr Rushworth to attend to her and doomed to the repeated details of his day 's sport good or bad his boast of his dogs his jealousy of his neighbours his doubts of their qualifications and his zeal after poachers subjects which will not find their way to female feelings without some talent on one side or some attachment on the other had missed Mr Crawford grievously and Julia unengaged and unemployed felt all the right of missing him much more Each sister believed herself the favourite Julia might be justified in so doing by the hints of Mrs Grant inclined to credit what she wished and Maria by the hints of Mr Crawford himself Everything returned into the same channel as before his absence his manners being to each so animated and agreeable as to lose no ground with either and just stopping short of the consistence the steadiness the solicitude and the warmth which might excite general notice {para} Fanny was the only one of the party who found anything to dislike but since the day at Sotherton she could never see Mr Crawford with either sister without observation and seldom without wonder or censure and had her confidence in her own judgment been equal to her exercise of it in every other respect had she been sure that she was seeing clearly and judging candidly she would probably have made some important communications to her usual confidant As it was however she only hazarded a hint and the hint was lost I am rather surprised said she that Mr Crawford should come back again so soon after being here so long before full seven weeks for I had understood he was so very fond of change and moving about that I thought something would certainly occur when he was once gone to take him elsewhere He is used to much gayer places than Mansfield {para} It is to his credit was Edmund 's answer and I dare say it gives his sister pleasure She does not like his unsettled habits {para} What a favourite he is with my cousins {para} Yes his manners to women are such as must please Mrs Grant I believe suspects him of a preference for Julia I have never seen much symptom of it but I wish it may be so He has no faults but what a serious attachment would remove {para} If Miss Bertram were not engaged said Fanny cautiously I could sometimes almost think that he admired her more than Julia {para} Which is perhaps more in favour of his liking Julia best than you Fanny may be aware for I believe it often happens that a man before he has quite made up his own mind will distinguish the sister or intimate friend of the woman he is really thinking of more than the woman herself Crawford has too much sense to stay here if he found himself in any danger from Maria and I am not at all afraid for her after such a proof as she has given that her feelings are not strong {para} Fanny supposed she must have been mistaken and meant to think differently in future but with all that submission to Edmund could do and all the help of the coinciding looks and hints which she occasionally noticed in some of the others and which seemed to say that Julia was Mr Crawford 's choice she knew not always what to think She was privy one evening to the hopes of her aunt Norris on the subject as well as to her feelings and the feelings of Mrs Rushworth on a point of some similarity and could not help wondering as she listened and glad would she have been not to be obliged to listen for it was while all the other young people were dancing and she sitting most unwillingly among the chaperons at the fire longing for the re entrance of her elder cousin on whom all her own hopes of a partner then depended It was Fanny 's first ball though without the preparation or splendour of many a young lady 's first ball being the thought only of the afternoon built on the late acquisition of a violin player in the servants hall and the possibility of raising five couple with the help of Mrs Grant and a new intimate friend of Mr Bertram 's just arrived on a visit It had however been a very happy one to Fanny through four dances and she was quite grieved to be losing even a quarter of an hour While waiting and wishing looking now at the dancers and now at the door this dialogue between the two above mentioned ladies was forced on her {para} I think ma'am said Mrs Norris her eyes directed towards Mr Rushworth and Maria who were partners for the second time we shall see some happy faces again now {para} Yes ma'am indeed replied the other with a stately simper there will be some satisfaction in looking on now and I think it was rather a pity they should have been obliged to part Young folks in their situation should be excused complying with the common forms I wonder my son did not propose it {para} I dare say he did ma'am Mr Rushworth is never remiss But dear Maria has such a strict sense of propriety so much of that true delicacy which one seldom meets with nowadays Mrs Rushworth that wish of avoiding particularity Dear ma'am only look at her face at this moment how different from what it was the two last dances {para} Miss Bertram did indeed look happy her eyes were sparkling with pleasure and she was speaking with great animation for Julia and her partner Mr Crawford were close to her they were all in a cluster together How she had looked before Fanny could not recollect for she had been dancing with Edmund herself and had not thought about her {para} Mrs Norris continued It is quite delightful ma'am to see young people so properly happy so well suited and so much the thing I cannot but think of dear Sir Thomas 's delight And what do you say ma'am to the chance of another match Mr Rushworth has set a good example and such things are very catching {para} Mrs Rushworth who saw nothing but her son was quite at a loss {para} The couple above ma'am Do you see no symptoms there {para} Oh dear Miss Julia and Mr Crawford Yes indeed a very pretty match What is his property {para} Four thousand a year {para} Very well Those who have not more must be satisfied with what they have Four thousand a year is a pretty estate and he seems a very genteel steady young man so I hope Miss Julia will be very happy {para} It is not a settled thing ma'am yet We only speak of it among friends But I have very little doubt it will be He is growing extremely particular in his attentions {para} Fanny could listen no farther Listening and wondering were all suspended for a time for Mr Bertram was in the room again and though feeling it would be a great honour to be asked by him she thought it must happen He came towards their little circle but instead of asking her to dance drew a chair near her and gave her an account of the present state of a sick horse and the opinion of the groom from whom he had just parted Fanny found that it was not to be and in the modesty of her nature immediately felt that she had been unreasonable in expecting it When he had told of his horse he took a newspaper from the table and looking over it said in a languid way If you want to dance Fanny I will stand up with you With more than equal civility the offer was declined she did not wish to dance I am glad of it said he in a much brisker tone and throwing down the newspaper again for I am tired to death I only wonder how the good people can keep it up so long They had need be all in love to find any amusement in such folly and so they are I fancy If you look at them you may see they are so many couple of lovers all but Yates and Mrs Grant and between ourselves she poor woman must want a lover as much as any one of them A desperate dull life hers must be with the doctor making a sly face as he spoke towards the chair of the latter who proving however to be close at his elbow made so instantaneous a change of expression and subject necessary as Fanny in spite of everything could hardly help laughing at A strange business this in America Dr Grant What is your opinion I always come to you to know what I am to think of public matters {para} My dear Tom cried his aunt soon afterwards as you are not dancing I dare say you will have no objection to join us in a rubber shall you Then leaving her seat and coming to him to enforce the proposal added in a whisper We want to make a table for Mrs Rushworth you know Your mother is quite anxious about it but cannot very well spare time to sit down herself because of her fringe Now you and I and Dr Grant will just do and though we play but half crowns you know you may bet half guineas with him {para} I should be most happy replied he aloud and jumping up with alacrity it would give me the greatest pleasure but that I am this moment going to dance Come Fanny taking her hand do not be dawdling any longer or the dance will be over {para} Fanny was led off very willingly though it was impossible for her to feel much gratitude towards her cousin or distinguish as he certainly did between the selfishness of another person and his own {para} A pretty modest request upon my word he indignantly exclaimed as they walked away To want to nail me to a card table for the next two hours with herself and Dr Grant who are always quarrelling and that poking old woman who knows no more of whist than of algebra I wish my good aunt would be a little less busy And to ask me in such a way too without ceremony before them all so as to leave me no possibility of refusing That is what I dislike most particularly It raises my spleen more than anything to have the pretence of being asked of being given a choice and at the same time addressed in such a way as to oblige one to do the very thing whatever it be If I had not luckily thought of standing up with you I could not have got out of it It is a great deal too bad But when my aunt has got a fancy in her head nothing can stop her {para} CHAPTER XIII {para} The Honourable John Yates this new friend had not much to recommend him beyond habits of fashion and expense and being the younger son of a lord with a tolerable independence and Sir Thomas would probably have thought his introduction at Mansfield by no means desirable Mr Bertram 's acquaintance with him had begun at Weymouth where they had spent ten days together in the same society and the friendship if friendship it might be called had been proved and perfected by Mr Yates 's being invited to take Mansfield in his way whenever he could and by his promising to come and he did come rather earlier than had been expected in consequence of the sudden breaking up of a large party assembled for gaiety at the house of another friend which he had left Weymouth to join He came on the wings of disappointment and with his head full of acting for it had been a theatrical party and the play in which he had borne a part was within two days of representation when the sudden death of one of the nearest connexions of the family had destroyed the scheme and dispersed the performers To be so near happiness so near fame so near the long paragraph in praise of the private theatricals at Ecclesford the seat of the Right Hon Lord Ravenshaw in Cornwall which would of course have immortalised the whole party for at least a twelvemonth and being so near to lose it all was an injury to be keenly felt and Mr Yates could talk of nothing else Ecclesford and its theatre with its arrangements and dresses rehearsals and jokes was his never failing subject and to boast of the past his only consolation {para} Happily for him a love of the theatre is so general an itch for acting so strong among young people that he could hardly out talk the interest of his hearers From the first casting of the parts to the epilogue it was all bewitching and there were few who did not wish to have been a party concerned or would have hesitated to try their skill The play had been Lovers Vows and Mr Yates was to have been Count Cassel A trifling part said he and not at all to my taste and such a one as I certainly would not accept again but I was determined to make no difficulties Lord Ravenshaw and the duke had appropriated the only two characters worth playing before I reached Ecclesford and though Lord Ravenshaw offered to resign his to me it was impossible to take it you know I was sorry for him that he should have so mistaken his powers for he was no more equal to the Baron a little man with a weak voice always hoarse after the first ten minutes It must have injured the piece materially but I was resolved to make no difficulties Sir Henry thought the duke not equal to Frederick but that was because Sir Henry wanted the part himself whereas it was certainly in the best hands of the two I was surprised to see Sir Henry such a stick Luckily the strength of the piece did not depend upon him Our Agatha was inimitable and the duke was thought very great by many And upon the whole it would certainly have gone off wonderfully {para} It was a hard case upon my word and I do think you were very much to be pitied were the kind responses of listening sympathy {para} It is not worth complaining about but to be sure the poor old dowager could not have died at a worse time and it is impossible to help wishing that the news could have been suppressed for just the three days we wanted It was but three days and being only a grandmother and all happening two hundred miles off I think there would have been no great harm and it was suggested I know but Lord Ravenshaw who I suppose is one of the most correct men in England would not hear of it {para} An afterpiece instead of a comedy said Mr Bertram Lovers Vows were at an end and Lord and Lady Ravenshaw left to act My Grandmother by themselves Well the jointure may comfort him and perhaps between friends he began to tremble for his credit and his lungs in the Baron and was not sorry to withdraw and to make you amends Yates I think we must raise a little theatre at Mansfield and ask you to be our manager {para} This though the thought of the moment did not end with the moment for the inclination to act was awakened and in no one more strongly than in him who was now master of the house and who having so much leisure as to make almost any novelty a certain good had likewise such a degree of lively talents and comic taste as were exactly adapted to the novelty of acting The thought returned again and again Oh for the Ecclesford theatre and scenery to try something with Each sister could echo the wish and Henry Crawford to whom in all the riot of his gratifications it was yet an untasted pleasure was quite alive at the idea I really believe said he I could be fool enough at this moment to undertake any character that ever was written from Shylock or Richard III down to the singing hero of a farce in his scarlet coat and cocked hat I feel as if I could be anything or everything as if I could rant and storm or sigh or cut capers in any tragedy or comedy in the English language Let us be doing something Be it only half a play an act a scene what should prevent us Not these countenances I am sure looking towards the Miss Bertrams and for a theatre what signifies a theatre We shall be only amusing ourselves Any room in this house might suffice {para} We must have a curtain said Tom Bertram a few yards of green baize for a curtain and perhaps that may be enough {para} Oh quite enough cried Mr Yates with only just a side wing or two run up doors in flat and three or four scenes to be let down nothing more would be necessary on such a plan as this For mere amusement among ourselves we should want nothing more {para} I believe we must be satisfied with less said Maria There would not be time and other difficulties would arise We must rather adopt Mr Crawford 's views and make the performance not thetheatre our object Many parts of our best plays are independent of scenery {para} Nay said Edmund who began to listen with alarm Let us do nothing by halves If we are to act let it be in a theatre completely fitted up with pit boxes and gallery and let us have a play entire from beginning to end so as it be a German play no matter what with a good tricking shifting afterpiece and a figure dance and a hornpipe and a song between the acts If we do not outdo Ecclesford we do nothing {para} Now Edmund do not be disagreeable said Julia Nobody loves a play better than you do or can have gone much farther to see one {para} True to see real acting good hardened real acting but I would hardly walk from this room to the next to look at the raw efforts of those who have not been bred to the trade a set of gentlemen and ladies who have all the disadvantages of education and decorum to struggle through {para} After a short pause however the subject still continued and was discussed with unabated eagerness every one 's inclination increasing by the discussion and a knowledge of the inclination of the rest and though nothing was settled but that Tom Bertram would prefer a comedy and his sisters and Henry Crawford a tragedy and that nothing in the world could be easier than to find a piece which would please them all the resolution to act something or other seemed so decided as to make Edmund quite uncomfortable He was determined to prevent it if possible though his mother who equally heard the conversation which passed at table did not evince the least disapprobation {para} The same evening afforded him an opportunity of trying his strength Maria Julia Henry Crawford and Mr Yates were in the billiard room Tom returning from them into the drawing room where Edmund was standing thoughtfully by the fire while Lady Bertram was on the sofa at a little distance and Fanny close beside her arranging her work thus began as he entered Such a horribly vile billiard table as ours is not to be met with I believe above ground I can stand it no longer and I think I may say that nothing shall ever tempt me to it again but one good thing I have just ascertained it is the very room for a theatre precisely the shape and length for it and the doors at the farther end communicating with each other as they may be made to do in five minutes by merely moving the bookcase in my father 's room is the very thing we could have desired if we had sat down to wish for it and my father 's room will be an excellent greenroom It seems to join the billiard room on purpose {para} You are not serious Tom in meaning to act said Edmund in a low voice as his brother approached the fire {para} Not serious never more so I assure you What is there to surprise you in it {para} I think it would be very wrong In a general light private theatricals are open to some objections but as we are circumstanced I must think it would be highly injudicious and more than injudicious to attempt anything of the kind It would shew great want of feeling on my father 's account absent as he is and in some degree of constant danger and it would be imprudent I think with regard to Maria whose situation is a very delicate one considering everything extremely delicate {para} You take up a thing so seriously as if we were going to act three times a week till my father 's return and invite all the country But it is not to be a display of that sort We mean nothing but a little amusement among ourselves just to vary the scene and exercise our powers in something new We want no audience no publicity We may be trusted I think in chusing some play most perfectly unexceptionable and I can conceive no greater harm or danger to any of us in conversing in the elegant written language of some respectable author than in chattering in words of our own I have no fears and no scruples And as to my father 's being absent it is so far from an objection that I consider it rather as a motive for the expectation of his return must be a very anxious period to my mother and if we can be the means of amusing that anxiety and keeping up her spirits for the next few weeks I shall think our time very well spent and so I am sure will he It is a very anxious period for her {para} As he said this each looked towards their mother Lady Bertram sunk back in one corner of the sofa the picture of health wealth ease and tranquillity was just falling into a gentle doze while Fanny was getting through the few difficulties of her work for her {para} Edmund smiled and shook his head {para} By Jove this won't do cried Tom throwing himself into a chair with a hearty laugh To be sure my dear mother your anxiety I was unlucky there {para} What is the matter asked her ladyship in the heavy tone of one half roused I was not asleep {para} Oh dear no ma'am nobody suspected you Well Edmund he continued returning to the former subject posture and voice as soon as Lady Bertram began to nod again but this I will maintain that we shall be doing no harm {para} I cannot agree with you I am convinced that my father would totally disapprove it {para} And I am convinced to the contrary Nobody is fonder of the exercise of talent in young people or promotes it more than my father and for anything of the acting spouting reciting kind I think he has always a decided taste I am sure he encouraged it in us as boys How many a time have we mourned over the dead body of Julius Caesar and to be 'd and not to be 'd in this very room for his amusement And I am sure my name was Norval every evening of my life through one Christmas holidays {para} It was a very different thing You must see the difference yourself My father wished us as schoolboys to speak well but he would never wish his grown up daughters to be acting plays His sense of decorum is strict {para} I know all that said Tom displeased I know my father as well as you do and I 'll take care that his daughters do nothing to distress him Manage your own concerns Edmund and I 'll take care of the rest of the family {para} If you are resolved on acting replied the persevering Edmund I must hope it will be in a very small and quiet way and I think a theatre ought not to be attempted It would be taking liberties with my father 's house in his absence which could not be justified {para} For everything of that nature I will be answerable said Tom in a decided tone His house shall not be hurt I have quite as great an interest in being careful of his house as you can have and as to such alterations as I was suggesting just now such as moving a bookcase or unlocking a door or even as using the billiard room for the space of a week without playing at billiards in it you might just as well suppose he would object to our sitting more in this room and less in the breakfast room than we did before he went away or to my sister 's pianoforte being moved from one side of the room to the other Absolute nonsense {para} The innovation if not wrong as an innovation will be wrong as an expense {para} Yes the expense of such an undertaking would be prodigious Perhaps it might cost a whole twenty pounds Something of a theatre we must have undoubtedly but it will be on the simplest plan a green curtain and a little carpenter 's work and that 's all and as the carpenter 's work may be all done at home by Christopher Jackson himself it will be too absurd to talk of expense and as long as Jackson is employed everything will be right with Sir Thomas Don't imagine that nobody in this house can see or judge but yourself Don't act yourself if you do not like it but don't expect to govern everybody else {para} No as to acting myself said Edmund that I absolutely protest against {para} Tom walked out of the room as he said it and Edmund was left to sit down and stir the fire in thoughtful vexation {para} Fanny who had heard it all and borne Edmund company in every feeling throughout the whole now ventured to say in her anxiety to suggest some comfort Perhaps they may not be able to find any play to suit them Your brother 's taste and your sisters seem very different {para} I have no hope there Fanny If they persist in the scheme they will find something I shall speak to my sisters and try to dissuade them and that is all I can do {para} I should think my aunt Norris would be on your side {para} I dare say she would but she has no influence with either Tom or my sisters that could be of any use and if I cannot convince them myself I shall let things take their course without attempting it through her Family squabbling is the greatest evil of all and we had better do anything than be altogether by the ears {para} His sisters to whom he had an opportunity of speaking the next morning were quite as impatient of his advice quite as unyielding to his representation quite as determined in the cause of pleasure as Tom Their mother had no objection to the plan and they were not in the least afraid of their father 's disapprobation There could be no harm in what had been done in so many respectable families and by so many women of the first consideration and it must be scrupulousness run mad that could see anything to censure in a plan like theirs comprehending only brothers and sisters and intimate friends and which would never be heard of beyond themselves Julia did seem inclined to admit that Maria 's situation might require particular caution and delicacy but that could not extend to her she was at liberty and Maria evidently considered her engagement as only raising her so much more above restraint and leaving her less occasion than Julia to consult either father or mother Edmund had little to hope but he was still urging the subject when Henry Crawford entered the room fresh from the Parsonage calling out No want of hands in our theatre Miss Bertram No want of understrappers my sister desires her love and hopes to be admitted into the company and will be happy to take the part of any old duenna or tame confidante that you may not like to do yourselves {para} Maria gave Edmund a glance which meant What say you now Can we be wrong if Mary Crawford feels the same And Edmund silenced was obliged to acknowledge that the charm of acting might well carry fascination to the mind of genius and with the ingenuity of love to dwell more on the obliging accommodating purport of the message than on anything else {para} The scheme advanced Opposition was vain and as to Mrs Norris he was mistaken in supposing she would wish to make any She started no difficulties that were not talked down in five minutes by her eldest nephew and niece who were all powerful with her and as the whole arrangement was to bring very little expense to anybody and none at all to herself as she foresaw in it all the comforts of hurry bustle and importance and derived the immediate advantage of fancying herself obliged to leave her own house where she had been living a month at her own cost and take up her abode in theirs that every hour might be spent in their service she was in fact exceedingly delighted with the project {para} CHAPTER XIV {para} Fanny seemed nearer being right than Edmund had supposed The business of finding a play that would suit everybody proved to be no trifle and the carpenter had received his orders and taken his measurements had suggested and removed at least two sets of difficulties and having made the necessity of an enlargement of plan and expense fully evident was already at work while a play was still to seek Other preparations were also in hand An enormous roll of green baize had arrived from Northampton and been cut out by Mrs Norris with a saving by her good management of full three quarters of a yard and was actually forming into a curtain by the housemaids and still the play was wanting and as two or three days passed away in this manner Edmund began almost to hope that none might ever be found {para} There were in fact so many things to be attended to so many people to be pleased so many best characters required and above all such a need that the play should be at once both tragedy and comedy that there did seem as little chance of a decision as anything pursued by youth and zeal could hold out {para} On the tragic side were the Miss Bertrams Henry Crawford and Mr Yates on the comic Tom Bertram not quite alone because it was evident that Mary Crawford 's wishes though politely kept back inclined the same way but his determinateness and his power seemed to make allies unnecessary and independent of this great irreconcilable difference they wanted a piece containing very few characters in the whole but every character first rate and three principal women All the best plays were run over in vain Neither Hamlet nor Macbeth nor Othello nor Douglas nor The Gamester presented anything that could satisfy even the tragedians and The Rivals The School for Scandal Wheel of Fortune Heir at Law and a long et cetera were successively dismissed with yet warmer objections No piece could be proposed that did not supply somebody with a difficulty and on one side or the other it was a continual repetition of Oh no that will never do Let us have no ranting tragedies Too many characters Not a tolerable woman 's part in the play Anything but that my dear Tom It would be impossible to fill it up One could not expect anybody to take such a part Nothing but buffoonery from beginning to end That might do perhaps but for the low parts If I must give my opinion I have always thought it the most insipid play in the English language I do not wish to make objections I shall be happy to be of any use but I think we could not chuse worse {para} Fanny looked on and listened not unamused to observe the selfishness which more or less disguised seemed to govern them all and wondering how it would end For her own gratification she could have wished that something might be acted for she had never seen even half a play but everything of higher consequence was against it {para} This will never do said Tom Bertram at last We are wasting time most abominably Something must be fixed on No matter what so that something is chosen We must not be so nice A few characters too many must not frighten us We must double them We must descend a little If a part is insignificant the greater our credit in making anything of it From this moment I make no difficulties I take any part you chuse to give me so as it be comic Let it but be comic I condition for nothing more {para} For about the fifth time he then proposed the Heir at Law doubting only whether to prefer Lord Duberley or Dr Pangloss for himself and very earnestly but very unsuccessfully trying to persuade the others that there were some fine tragic parts in the rest of the dramatis personae {para} The pause which followed this fruitless effort was ended by the same speaker who taking up one of the many volumes of plays that lay on the table and turning it over suddenly exclaimed Lovers Vows And why should not Lovers Vows do for us as well as for the Ravenshaws How came it never to be thought of before It strikes me as if it would do exactly What say you all Here are two capital tragic parts for Yates and Crawford and here is the rhyming Butler for me if nobody else wants it a trifling part but the sort of thing I should not dislike and as I said before I am determined to take anything and do my best And as for the rest they may be filled up by anybody It is only Count Cassel and Anhalt {para} The suggestion was generally welcome Everybody was growing weary of indecision and the first idea with everybody was that nothing had been proposed before so likely to suit them all Mr Yates was particularly pleased he had been sighing and longing to do the Baron at Ecclesford had grudged every rant of Lord Ravenshaw 's and been forced to re rant it all in his own room The storm through Baron Wildenheim was the height of his theatrical ambition and with the advantage of knowing half the scenes by heart already he did now with the greatest alacrity offer his services for the part To do him justice however he did not resolve to appropriate it for remembering that there was some very good ranting ground in Frederick he professed an equal willingness for that Henry Crawford was ready to take either Whichever Mr Yates did not chuse would perfectly satisfy him and a short parley of compliment ensued Miss Bertram feeling all the interest of an Agatha in the question took on her to decide it by observing to Mr Yates that this was a point in which height and figure ought to be considered and that his being the tallest seemed to fit him peculiarly for the Baron She was acknowledged to be quite right and the two parts being accepted accordingly she was certain of the proper Frederick Three of the characters were now cast besides Mr Rushworth who was always answered for by Maria as willing to do anything when Julia meaning like her sister to be Agatha began to be scrupulous on Miss Crawford 's account {para} This is not behaving well by the absent said she Here are not women enough Amelia and Agatha may do for Maria and me but here is nothing for your sister Mr Crawford {para} Mr Crawford desired that might not be thought of he was very sure his sister had no wish of acting but as she might be useful and that she would not allow herself to be considered in the present case But this was immediately opposed by Tom Bertram who asserted the part of Amelia to be in every respect the property of Miss Crawford if she would accept it It falls as naturally as necessarily to her said he as Agatha does to one or other of my sisters It can be no sacrifice on their side for it is highly comic {para} A short silence followed Each sister looked anxious for each felt the best claim to Agatha and was hoping to have it pressed on her by the rest Henry Crawford who meanwhile had taken up the play and with seeming carelessness was turning over the first act soon settled the business {para} I must entreat Miss Julia Bertram said he not to engage in the part of Agatha or it will be the ruin of all my solemnity You must not indeed you must not turning to her I could not stand your countenance dressed up in woe and paleness The many laughs we have had together would infallibly come across me and Frederick and his knapsack would be obliged to run away {para} Pleasantly courteously it was spoken but the manner was lost in the matter to Julia 's feelings She saw a glance at Maria which confirmed the injury to herself it was a scheme a trick she was slighted Maria was preferred the smile of triumph which Maria was trying to suppress shewed how well it was understood and before Julia could command herself enough to speak her brother gave his weight against her too by saying Oh yes Maria must be Agatha Maria will be the best Agatha Though Julia fancies she prefers tragedy I would not trust her in it There is nothing of tragedy about her She has not the look of it Her features are not tragic features and she walks too quick and speaks too quick and would not keep her countenance She had better do the old countrywoman the Cottager 's wife you had indeed Julia Cottager 's wife is a very pretty part I assure you The old lady relieves the high flown benevolence of her husband with a good deal of spirit You shall be Cottager 's wife {para} Cottager 's wife cried Mr Yates What are you talking of The most trivial paltry insignificant part the merest commonplace not a tolerable speech in the whole Your sister do that It is an insult to propose it At Ecclesford the governess was to have done it We all agreed that it could not be offered to anybody else A little more justice Mr Manager if you please You do not deserve the office if you cannot appreciate the talents of your company a little better {para} Why as to that my good friend till I and my company have really acted there must be some guesswork but I mean no disparagement to Julia We cannot have two Agathas and we must have one Cottager 's wife and I am sure I set her the example of moderation myself in being satisfied with the old Butler If the part is trifling she will have more credit in making something of it and if she is so desperately bent against everything humorous let her take Cottager 's speeches instead of Cottager 's wife 's and so change the parts all through he is solemn and pathetic enough I am sure It could make no difference in the play and as for Cottager himself when he has got his wife 's speeches I would undertake him with all my heart {para} With all your partiality for Cottager 's wife said Henry Crawford it will be impossible to make anything of it fit for your sister and we must not suffer her good nature to be imposed on We must not allow her to accept the part She must not be left to her own complaisance Her talents will be wanted in Amelia Amelia is a character more difficult to be well represented than even Agatha I consider Amelia is the most difficult character in the whole piece It requires great powers great nicety to give her playfulness and simplicity without extravagance I have seen good actresses fail in the part Simplicity indeed is beyond the reach of almost every actress by profession It requires a delicacy of feeling which they have not It requires a gentlewoman a Julia Bertram You will undertake it I hope turning to her with a look of anxious entreaty which softened her a little but while she hesitated what to say her brother again interposed with Miss Crawford 's better claim {para} No no Julia must not be Amelia It is not at all the part for her She would not like it She would not do well She is too tall and robust Amelia should be a small light girlish skipping figure It is fit for Miss Crawford and Miss Crawford only She looks the part and I am persuaded will do it admirably {para} Without attending to this Henry Crawford continued his supplication You must oblige us said he indeed you must When you have studied the character I am sure you will feel it suit you Tragedy may be your choice but it will certainly appear that comedy chuses you You will be to visit me in prison with a basket of provisions you will not refuse to visit me in prison I think I see you coming in with your basket {para} The influence of his voice was felt Julia wavered but was he only trying to soothe and pacify her and make her overlook the previous affront She distrusted him The slight had been most determined He was perhaps but at treacherous play with her She looked suspiciously at her sister Maria 's countenance was to decide it if she were vexed and alarmed but Maria looked all serenity and satisfaction and Julia well knew that on this ground Maria could not be happy but at her expense With hasty indignation therefore and a tremulous voice she said to him You do not seem afraid of not keeping your countenance when I come in with a basket of provisions though one might have supposed but it is only as Agatha that I was to be so overpowering She stopped Henry Crawford looked rather foolish and as if he did not know what to say Tom Bertram began again {para} Miss Crawford must be Amelia She will be an excellent Amelia {para} Do not be afraid of my wanting the character cried Julia with angry quickness I am not to be Agatha and I am sure I will do nothing else and as to Amelia it is of all parts in the world the most disgusting to me I quite detest her An odious little pert unnatural impudent girl I have always protested against comedy and this is comedy in its worst form And so saying she walked hastily out of the room leaving awkward feelings to more than one but exciting small compassion in any except Fanny who had been a quiet auditor of the whole and who could not think of her as under the agitations of jealousy without great pity {para} A short silence succeeded her leaving them but her brother soon returned to business and Lovers Vows and was eagerly looking over the play with Mr Yates 's help to ascertain what scenery would be necessary while Maria and Henry Crawford conversed together in an under voice and the declaration with which she began of I am sure I would give up the part to Julia most willingly but that though I shall probably do it very ill I feel persuaded she would do it worse was doubtless receiving all the compliments it called for {para} When this had lasted some time the division of the party was completed by Tom Bertram and Mr Yates walking off together to consult farther in the room now beginning to be called the Theatre and Miss Bertram 's resolving to go down to the Parsonage herself with the offer of Amelia to Miss Crawford and Fanny remained alone {para} The first use she made of her solitude was to take up the volume which had been left on the table and begin to acquaint herself with the play of which she had heard so much Her curiosity was all awake and she ran through it with an eagerness which was suspended only by intervals of astonishment that it could be chosen in the present instance that it could be proposed and accepted in a private theatre Agatha and Amelia appeared to her in their different ways so totally improper for home representation the situation of one and the language of the other so unfit to be expressed by any woman of modesty that she could hardly suppose her cousins could be aware of what they were engaging in and longed to have them roused as soon as possible by the remonstrance which Edmund would certainly make {para} CHAPTER XV {para} Miss Crawford accepted the part very readily and soon after Miss Bertram 's return from the Parsonage Mr Rushworth arrived and another character was consequently cast He had the offer of Count Cassel and Anhalt and at first did not know which to chuse and wanted Miss Bertram to direct him but upon being made to understand the different style of the characters and which was which and recollecting that he had once seen the play in London and had thought Anhalt a very stupid fellow he soon decided for the Count Miss Bertram approved the decision for the less he had to learn the better and though she could not sympathise in his wish that the Count and Agatha might be to act together nor wait very patiently while he was slowly turning over the leaves with the hope of still discovering such a scene she very kindly took his part in hand and curtailed every speech that admitted being shortened besides pointing out the necessity of his being very much dressed and chusing his colours Mr Rushworth liked the idea of his finery very well though affecting to despise it and was too much engaged with what his own appearance would be to think of the others or draw any of those conclusions or feel any of that displeasure which Maria had been half prepared for {para} Thus much was settled before Edmund who had been out all the morning knew anything of the matter but when he entered the drawing room before dinner the buzz of discussion was high between Tom Maria and Mr Yates and Mr Rushworth stepped forward with great alacrity to tell him the agreeable news {para} We have got a play said he It is to be Lovers Vows and I am to be Count Cassel and am to come in first with a blue dress and a pink satin cloak and afterwards am to have another fine fancy suit by way of a shooting dress I do not know how I shall like it {para} Fanny 's eyes followed Edmund and her heart beat for him as she heard this speech and saw his look and felt what his sensations must be {para} Lovers Vows in a tone of the greatest amazement was his only reply to Mr Rushworth and he turned towards his brother and sisters as if hardly doubting a contradiction {para} Yes cried Mr Yates After all our debatings and difficulties we find there is nothing that will suit us altogether so well nothing so unexceptionable as Lovers Vows The wonder is that it should not have been thought of before My stupidity was abominable for here we have all the advantage of what I saw at Ecclesford and it is so useful to have anything of a model We have cast almost every part {para} But what do you do for women said Edmund gravely and looking at Maria {para} Maria blushed in spite of herself as she answered I take the part which Lady Ravenshaw was to have done and with a bolder eye Miss Crawford is to be Amelia {para} I should not have thought it the sort of play to be so easily filled up with us replied Edmund turning away to the fire where sat his mother aunt and Fanny and seating himself with a look of great vexation {para} Mr Rushworth followed him to say I come in three times and have two and forty speeches That 's something is not it But I do not much like the idea of being so fine I shall hardly know myself in a blue dress and a pink satin cloak {para} Edmund could not answer him In a few minutes Mr Bertram was called out of the room to satisfy some doubts of the carpenter and being accompanied by Mr Yates and followed soon afterwards by Mr Rushworth Edmund almost immediately took the opportunity of saying I cannot before Mr Yates speak what I feel as to this play without reflecting on his friends at Ecclesford but I must now my dear Maria tell you that I think it exceedingly unfit for private representation and that I hope you will give it up I cannot but suppose you will when you have read it carefully over Read only the first act aloud to either your mother or aunt and see how you can approve it It will not be necessary to send you to your father 's judgment I am convinced {para} We see things very differently cried Maria I am perfectly acquainted with the play I assure you and with a very few omissions and so forth which will be made of course I can see nothing objectionable in it and I am not the only young woman you find who thinks it very fit for private representation {para} I am sorry for it was his answer but in this matter it is you who are to lead You must set the example If others have blundered it is your place to put them right and shew them what true delicacy is In all points of decorum your conduct must be law to the rest of the party {para} This picture of her consequence had some effect for no one loved better to lead than Maria and with far more good humour she answered I am much obliged to you Edmund you mean very well I am sure but I still think you see things too strongly and I really cannot undertake to harangue all the rest upon a subject of this kind There would be the greatest indecorum I think {para} Do you imagine that I could have such an idea in my head No let your conduct be the only harangue Say that on examining the part you feel yourself unequal to it that you find it requiring more exertion and confidence than you can be supposed to have Say this with firmness and it will be quite enough All who can distinguish will understand your motive The play will be given up and your delicacy honoured as it ought {para} Do not act anything improper my dear said Lady Bertram Sir Thomas would not like it Fanny ring the bell I must have my dinner To be sure Julia is dressed by this time {para} I am convinced madam said Edmund preventing Fanny that Sir Thomas would not like it {para} There my dear do you hear what Edmund says {para} If I were to decline the part said Maria with renewed zeal Julia would certainly take it {para} What cried Edmund if she knew your reasons {para} Oh she might think the difference between us the difference in our situations that she need not be so scrupulous as I might feel necessary I am sure she would argue so No you must excuse me I cannot retract my consent it is too far settled everybody would be so disappointed Tom would be quite angry and if we are so very nice we shall never act anything {para} I was just going to say the very same thing said Mrs Norris If every play is to be objected to you will act nothing and the preparations will be all so much money thrown away and I am sure that would be a discredit to us all I do not know the play but as Maria says if there is anything a little too warm and it is so with most of them it can be easily left out We must not be over precise Edmund As Mr Rushworth is to act too there can be no harm I only wish Tom had known his own mind when the carpenters began for there was the loss of half a day 's work about those side doors The curtain will be a good job however The maids do their work very well and I think we shall be able to send back some dozens of the rings There is no occasion to put them so very close together I am of some use I hope in preventing waste and making the most of things There should always be one steady head to superintend so many young ones I forgot to tell Tom of something that happened to me this very day I had been looking about me in the poultry yard and was just coming out when who should I see but Dick Jackson making up to the servants hall door with two bits of deal board in his hand bringing them to father you may be sure mother had chanced to send him of a message to father and then father had bid him bring up them two bits of board for he could not no how do without them I knew what all this meant for the servants dinner bell was ringing at the very moment over our heads and as I hate such encroaching people the Jacksons are very encroaching I have always said so just the sort of people to get all they can I said to the boy directly a great lubberly fellow of ten years old you know who ought to be ashamed of himself I 'll take the boards to your father Dick so get you home again as fast as you can The boy looked very silly and turned away without offering a word for I believe I might speak pretty sharp and I dare say it will cure him of coming marauding about the house for one while I hate such greediness so good as your father is to the family employing the man all the year round {para} Nobody was at the trouble of an answer the others soon returned and Edmund found that to have endeavoured to set them right must be his only satisfaction {para} Dinner passed heavily Mrs Norris related again her triumph over Dick Jackson but neither play nor preparation were otherwise much talked of for Edmund 's disapprobation was felt even by his brother though he would not have owned it Maria wanting Henry Crawford 's animating support thought the subject better avoided Mr Yates who was trying to make himself agreeable to Julia found her gloom less impenetrable on any topic than that of his regret at her secession from their company and Mr Rushworth having only his own part and his own dress in his head had soon talked away all that could be said of either {para} But the concerns of the theatre were suspended only for an hour or two there was still a great deal to be settled and the spirits of evening giving fresh courage Tom Maria and Mr Yates soon after their being reassembled in the drawing room seated themselves in committee at a separate table with the play open before them and were just getting deep in the subject when a most welcome interruption was given by the entrance of Mr and Miss Crawford who late and dark and dirty as it was could not help coming and were received with the most grateful joy {para} Well how do you go on and What have you settled and Oh we can do nothing without you followed the first salutations and Henry Crawford was soon seated with the other three at the table while his sister made her way to Lady Bertram and with pleasant attention was complimenting her I must really congratulate your ladyship said she on the play being chosen for though you have borne it with exemplary patience I am sure you must be sick of all our noise and difficulties The actors may be glad but the bystanders must be infinitely more thankful for a decision and I do sincerely give you joy madam as well as Mrs Norris and everybody else who is in the same predicament glancing half fearfully half slyly beyond Fanny to Edmund {para} She was very civilly answered by Lady Bertram but Edmund said nothing His being only a bystander was not disclaimed After continuing in chat with the party round the fire a few minutes Miss Crawford returned to the party round the table and standing by them seemed to interest herself in their arrangements till as if struck by a sudden recollection she exclaimed My good friends you are most composedly at work upon these cottages and alehouses inside and out but pray let me know my fate in the meanwhile Who is to be Anhalt What gentleman among you am I to have the pleasure of making love to {para} For a moment no one spoke and then many spoke together to tell the same melancholy truth that they had not yet got any Anhalt Mr Rushworth was to be Count Cassel but no one had yet undertaken Anhalt {para} I had my choice of the parts said Mr Rushworth but I thought I should like the Count best though I do not much relish the finery I am to have {para} You chose very wisely I am sure replied Miss Crawford with a brightened look Anhalt is a heavy part {para} The Count has two and forty speeches returned Mr Rushworth which is no trifle {para} I am not at all surprised said Miss Crawford after a short pause at this want of an Anhalt Amelia deserves no better Such a forward young lady may well frighten the men {para} I should be but too happy in taking the part if it were possible cried Tom but unluckily the Butler and Anhalt are in together I will not entirely give it up however I will try what can be done I will look it over again {para} Your brother should take the part said Mr Yates in a low voice Do not you think he would {para} I shall not ask him replied Tom in a cold determined manner {para} Miss Crawford talked of something else and soon afterwards rejoined the party at the fire {para} They do not want me at all said she seating herself I only puzzle them and oblige them to make civil speeches Mr Edmund Bertram as you do not act yourself you will be a disinterested adviser and therefore I apply to you What shall we do for an Anhalt Is it practicable for any of the others to double it What is your advice {para} My advice said he calmly is that you change the play {para} I should have no objection she replied for though I should not particularly dislike the part of Amelia if well supported that is if everything went well I shall be sorry to be an inconvenience but as they do not chuse to hear your advice at that table looking round it certainly will not be taken {para} Edmund said no more {para} If any part could tempt you to act I suppose it would be Anhalt observed the lady archly after a short pause for he is a clergyman you know {para} That circumstance would by no means tempt me he replied for I should be sorry to make the character ridiculous by bad acting It must be very difficult to keep Anhalt from appearing a formal solemn lecturer and the man who chuses the profession itself is perhaps one of the last who would wish to represent it on the stage {para} Miss Crawford was silenced and with some feelings of resentment and mortification moved her chair considerably nearer the tea table and gave all her attention to Mrs Norris who was presiding there {para} Fanny cried Tom Bertram from the other table where the conference was eagerly carrying on and the conversation incessant we want your services {para} Fanny was up in a moment expecting some errand for the habit of employing her in that way was not yet overcome in spite of all that Edmund could do {para} Oh we do not want to disturb you from your seat We do not want your present services We shall only want you in our play You must be Cottager 's wife {para} Me cried Fanny sitting down again with a most frightened look Indeed you must excuse me I could not act anything if you were to give me the world No indeed I cannot act {para} Indeed but you must for we cannot excuse you It need not frighten you it is a nothing of a part a mere nothing not above half a dozen speeches altogether and it will not much signify if nobody hears a word you say so you may be as creep mouse as you like but we must have you to look at {para} If you are afraid of half a dozen speeches cried Mr Rushworth what would you do with such a part as mine I have forty two to learn {para} It is not that I am afraid of learning by heart said Fanny shocked to find herself at that moment the only speaker in the room and to feel that almost every eye was upon her but I really cannot act {para} Yes yes you can act well enough for us Learn your part and we will teach you all the rest You have only two scenes and as I shall be Cottager I 'll put you in and push you about and you will do it very well I 'll answer for it {para} No indeed Mr Bertram you must excuse me You cannot have an idea It would be absolutely impossible for me If I were to undertake it I should only disappoint you {para} Phoo Phoo Do not be so shamefaced You 'll do it very well Every allowance will be made for you We do not expect perfection You must get a brown gown and a white apron and a mob cap and we must make you a few wrinkles and a little of the crowsfoot at the corner of your eyes and you will be a very proper little old woman {para} You must excuse me indeed you must excuse me cried Fanny growing more and more red from excessive agitation and looking distressfully at Edmund who was kindly observing her but unwilling to exasperate his brother by interference gave her only an encouraging smile Her entreaty had no effect on Tom he only said again what he had said before and it was not merely Tom for the requisition was now backed by Maria and Mr Crawford and Mr Yates with an urgency which differed from his but in being more gentle or more ceremonious and which altogether was quite overpowering to Fanny and before she could breathe after it Mrs Norris completed the whole by thus addressing her in a whisper at once angry and audible What a piece of work here is about nothing I am quite ashamed of you Fanny to make such a difficulty of obliging your cousins in a trifle of this sort so kind as they are to you Take the part with a good grace and let us hear no more of the matter I entreat {para} Do not urge her madam said Edmund It is not fair to urge her in this manner You see she does not like to act Let her chuse for herself as well as the rest of us Her judgment may be quite as safely trusted Do not urge her any more {para} I am not going to urge her replied Mrs Norris sharply but I shall think her a very obstinate ungrateful girl if she does not do what her aunt and cousins wish her very ungrateful indeed considering who and what she is {para} Edmund was too angry to speak but Miss Crawford looking for a moment with astonished eyes at Mrs Norris and then at Fanny whose tears were beginning to shew themselves immediately said with some keenness I do not like my situation this place is too hot for me and moved away her chair to the opposite side of the table close to Fanny saying to her in a kind low whisper as she placed herself Never mind my dear Miss Price this is a cross evening everybody is cross and teasing but do not let us mind them and with pointed attention continued to talk to her and endeavour to raise her spirits in spite of being out of spirits herself By a look at her brother she prevented any farther entreaty from the theatrical board and the really good feelings by which she was almost purely governed were rapidly restoring her to all the little she had lost in Edmund 's favour {para} Fanny did not love Miss Crawford but she felt very much obliged to her for her present kindness and when from taking notice of her work and wishing she could work as well and begging for the pattern and supposing Fanny was now preparing for her appearance as of course she would come out when her cousin was married Miss Crawford proceeded to inquire if she had heard lately from her brother at sea and said that she had quite a curiosity to see him and imagined him a very fine young man and advised Fanny to get his picture drawn before he went to sea again she could not help admitting it to be very agreeable flattery or help listening and answering with more animation than she had intended {para} The consultation upon the play still went on and Miss Crawford 's attention was first called from Fanny by Tom Bertram 's telling her with infinite regret that he found it absolutely impossible for him to undertake the part of Anhalt in addition to the Butler he had been most anxiously trying to make it out to be feasible but it would not do he must give it up But there will not be the smallest difficulty in filling it he added We have but to speak the word we may pick and chuse I could name at this moment at least six young men within six miles of us who are wild to be admitted into our company and there are one or two that would not disgrace us I should not be afraid to trust either of the Olivers or Charles Maddox Tom Oliver is a very clever fellow and Charles Maddox is as gentlemanlike a man as you will see anywhere so I will take my horse early to morrow morning and ride over to Stoke and settle with one of them {para} While he spoke Maria was looking apprehensively round at Edmund in full expectation that he must oppose such an enlargement of the plan as this so contrary to all their first protestations but Edmund said nothing After a moment 's thought Miss Crawford calmly replied As far as I am concerned I can have no objection to anything that you all think eligible Have I ever seen either of the gentlemen Yes Mr Charles Maddox dined at my sister 's one day did not he Henry A quiet looking young man I remember him Let him be applied to if you please for it will be less unpleasant to me than to have a perfect stranger {para} Charles Maddox was to be the man Tom repeated his resolution of going to him early on the morrow and though Julia who had scarcely opened her lips before observed in a sarcastic manner and with a glance first at Maria and then at Edmund that the Mansfield theatricals would enliven the whole neighbourhood exceedingly Edmund still held his peace and shewed his feelings only by a determined gravity {para} I am not very sanguine as to our play said Miss Crawford in an undervoice to Fanny after some consideration and I can tell Mr Maddox that I shall shorten some of his speeches and a great many of my own before we rehearse together It will be very disagreeable and by no means what I expected {para} CHAPTER XVI {para} It was not in Miss Crawford 's power to talk Fanny into any real forgetfulness of what had passed When the evening was over she went to bed full of it her nerves still agitated by the shock of such an attack from her cousin Tom so public and so persevered in and her spirits sinking under her aunt 's unkind reflection and reproach To be called into notice in such a manner to hear that it was but the prelude to something so infinitely worse to be told that she must do what was so impossible as to act and then to have the charge of obstinacy and ingratitude follow it enforced with such a hint at the dependence of her situation had been too distressing at the time to make the remembrance when she was alone much less so especially with the superadded dread of what the morrow might produce in continuation of the subject Miss Crawford had protected her only for the time and if she were applied to again among themselves with all the authoritative urgency that Tom and Maria were capable of and Edmund perhaps away what should she do She fell asleep before she could answer the question and found it quite as puzzling when she awoke the next morning The little white attic which had continued her sleeping room ever since her first entering the family proving incompetent to suggest any reply she had recourse as soon as she was dressed to another apartment more spacious and more meet for walking about in and thinking and of which she had now for some time been almost equally mistress It had been their school room so called till the Miss Bertrams would not allow it to be called so any longer and inhabited as such to a later period There Miss Lee had lived and there they had read and written and talked and laughed till within the last three years when she had quitted them The room had then become useless and for some time was quite deserted except by Fanny when she visited her plants or wanted one of the books which she was still glad to keep there from the deficiency of space and accommodation in her little chamber above but gradually as her value for the comforts of it increased she had added to her possessions and spent more of her time there and having nothing to oppose her had so naturally and so artlessly worked herself into it that it was now generally admitted to be hers The East room as it had been called ever since Maria Bertram was sixteen was now considered Fanny 's almost as decidedly as the white attic the smallness of the one making the use of the other so evidently reasonable that the Miss Bertrams with every superiority in their own apartments which their own sense of superiority could demand were entirely approving it and Mrs Norris having stipulated for there never being a fire in it on Fanny 's account was tolerably resigned to her having the use of what nobody else wanted though the terms in which she sometimes spoke of the indulgence seemed to imply that it was the best room in the house {para} The aspect was so favourable that even without a fire it was habitable in many an early spring and late autumn morning to such a willing mind as Fanny 's and while there was a gleam of sunshine she hoped not to be driven from it entirely even when winter came The comfort of it in her hours of leisure was extreme She could go there after anything unpleasant below and find immediate consolation in some pursuit or some train of thought at hand Her plants her books of which she had been a collector from the first hour of her commanding a shilling her writing desk and her works of charity and ingenuity were all within her reach or if indisposed for employment if nothing but musing would do she could scarcely see an object in that room which had not an interesting remembrance connected with it Everything was a friend or bore her thoughts to a friend and though there had been sometimes much of suffering to her though her motives had often been misunderstood her feelings disregarded and her comprehension undervalued though she had known the pains of tyranny of ridicule and neglect yet almost every recurrence of either had led to something consolatory her aunt Bertram had spoken for her or Miss Lee had been encouraging or what was yet more frequent or more dear Edmund had been her champion and her friend he had supported her cause or explained her meaning he had told her not to cry or had given her some proof of affection which made her tears delightful and the whole was now so blended together so harmonised by distance that every former affliction had its charm The room was most dear to her and she would not have changed its furniture for the handsomest in the house though what had been originally plain had suffered all the ill usage of children and its greatest elegancies and ornaments were a faded footstool of Julia 's work too ill done for the drawing room three transparencies made in a rage for transparencies for the three lower panes of one window where Tintern Abbey held its station between a cave in Italy and a moonlight lake in Cumberland a collection of family profiles thought unworthy of being anywhere else over the mantelpiece and by their side and pinned against the wall a small sketch of a ship sent four years ago from the Mediterranean by William with HMS Antwerp at the bottom in letters as tall as the mainmast {para} To this nest of comforts Fanny now walked down to try its influence on an agitated doubting spirit to see if by looking at Edmund 's profile she could catch any of his counsel or by giving air to her geraniums she might inhale a breeze of mental strength herself But she had more than fears of her own perseverance to remove she had begun to feel undecided as to what she ought to do and as she walked round the room her doubts were increasing Was she right in refusing what was so warmly asked so strongly wished for what might be so essential to a scheme on which some of those to whom she owed the greatest complaisance had set their hearts Was it not ill nature selfishness and a fear of exposing herself And would Edmund 's judgment would his persuasion of Sir Thomas 's disapprobation of the whole be enough to justify her in a determined denial in spite of all the rest It would be so horrible to her to act that she was inclined to suspect the truth and purity of her own scruples and as she looked around her the claims of her cousins to being obliged were strengthened by the sight of present upon present that she had received from them The table between the windows was covered with work boxes and netting boxes which had been given her at different times principally by Tom and she grew bewildered as to the amount of the debt which all these kind remembrances produced A tap at the door roused her in the midst of this attempt to find her way to her duty and her gentle Come in was answered by the appearance of one before whom all her doubts were wont to be laid Her eyes brightened at the sight of Edmund {para} Can I speak with you Fanny for a few minutes said he {para} Yes certainly {para} I want to consult I want your opinion {para} My opinion she cried shrinking from such a compliment highly as it gratified her {para} Yes your advice and opinion I do not know what to do This acting scheme gets worse and worse you see They have chosen almost as bad a play as they could and now to complete the business are going to ask the help of a young man very slightly known to any of us This is the end of all the privacy and propriety which was talked about at first I know no harm of Charles Maddox but the excessive intimacy which must spring from his being admitted among us in this manner is highly objectionable the more than intimacy the familiarity I cannot think of it with any patience and it does appear to me an evil of such magnitude as must if possible be prevented Do not you see it in the same light {para} Yes but what can be done Your brother is so determined {para} There is but one thing to be done Fanny I must take Anhalt myself I am well aware that nothing else will quiet Tom {para} Fanny could not answer him {para} It is not at all what I like he continued No man can like being driven into the appearance of such inconsistency After being known to oppose the scheme from the beginning there is absurdity in the face of my joining them now when they are exceeding their first plan in every respect but I can think of no other alternative Can you Fanny {para} No said Fanny slowly not immediately but {para} But what I see your judgment is not with me Think it a little over Perhaps you are not so much aware as I am of the mischief that may of the unpleasantness that must arise from a young man 's being received in this manner domesticated among us authorised to come at all hours and placed suddenly on a footing which must do away all restraints To think only of the licence which every rehearsal must tend to create It is all very bad Put yourself in Miss Crawford 's place Fanny Consider what it would be to act Amelia with a stranger She has a right to be felt for because she evidently feels for herself I heard enough of what she said to you last night to understand her unwillingness to be acting with a stranger and as she probably engaged in the part with different expectations perhaps without considering the subject enough to know what was likely to be it would be ungenerous it would be really wrong to expose her to it Her feelings ought to be respected Does it not strike you so Fanny You hesitate {para} I am sorry for Miss Crawford but I am more sorry to see you drawn in to do what you had resolved against and what you are known to think will be disagreeable to my uncle It will be such a triumph to the others {para} They will not have much cause of triumph when they see how infamously I act But however triumph there certainly will be and I must brave it But if I can be the means of restraining the publicity of the business of limiting the exhibition of concentrating our folly I shall be well repaid As I am now I have no influence I can do nothing I have offended them and they will not hear me but when I have put them in good humour by this concession I am not without hopes of persuading them to confine the representation within a much smaller circle than they are now in the high road for This will be a material gain My object is to confine it to Mrs Rushworth and the Grants Will not this be worth gaining {para} Yes it will be a great point {para} But still it has not your approbation Can you mention any other measure by which I have a chance of doing equal good {para} No I cannot think of anything else {para} Give me your approbation then Fanny I am not comfortable without it {para} Oh cousin {para} If you are against me I ought to distrust myself and yet But it is absolutely impossible to let Tom go on in this way riding about the country in quest of anybody who can be persuaded to act no matter whom the look of a gentleman is to be enough I thought you would have entered more into Miss Crawford 's feelings {para} No doubt she will be very glad It must be a great relief to her said Fanny trying for greater warmth of manner {para} She never appeared more amiable than in her behaviour to you last night It gave her a very strong claim on my goodwill {para} She was very kind indeed and I am glad to have her spared {para} She could not finish the generous effusion Her conscience stopt her in the middle but Edmund was satisfied {para} I shall walk down immediately after breakfast said he and am sure of giving pleasure there And now dear Fanny I will not interrupt you any longer You want to be reading But I could not be easy till I had spoken to you and come to a decision Sleeping or waking my head has been full of this matter all night It is an evil but I am certainly making it less than it might be If Tom is up I shall go to him directly and get it over and when we meet at breakfast we shall be all in high good humour at the prospect of acting the fool together with such unanimity You in the meanwhile will be taking a trip into China I suppose How does Lord Macartney go on opening a volume on the table and then taking up some others And here are Crabbe 's Tales and the Idler at hand to relieve you if you tire of your great book I admire your little establishment exceedingly and as soon as I am gone you will empty your head of all this nonsense of acting and sit comfortably down to your table But do not stay here to be cold {para} He went but there was no reading no China no composure for Fanny He had told her the most extraordinary the most inconceivable the most unwelcome news and she could think of nothing else To be acting After all his objections objections so just and so public After all that she had heard him say and seen him look and known him to be feeling Could it be possible Edmund so inconsistent Was he not deceiving himself Was he not wrong Alas it was all Miss Crawford 's doing She had seen her influence in every speech and was miserable The doubts and alarms as to her own conduct which had previously distressed her and which had all slept while she listened to him were become of little consequence now This deeper anxiety swallowed them up Things should take their course she cared not how it ended Her cousins might attack but could hardly tease her She was beyond their reach and if at last obliged to yield no matter it was all misery now {para} CHAPTER XVII {para} It was indeed a triumphant day to Mr Bertram and Maria Such a victory over Edmund 's discretion had been beyond their hopes and was most delightful There was no longer anything to disturb them in their darling project and they congratulated each other in private on the jealous weakness to which they attributed the change with all the glee of feelings gratified in every way Edmund might still look grave and say he did not like the scheme in general and must disapprove the play in particular their point was gained he was to act and he was driven to it by the force of selfish inclinations only Edmund had descended from that moral elevation which he had maintained before and they were both as much the better as the happier for the descent {para} They behaved very well however to him on the occasion betraying no exultation beyond the lines about the corners of the mouth and seemed to think it as great an escape to be quit of the intrusion of Charles Maddox as if they had been forced into admitting him against their inclination To have it quite in their own family circle was what they had particularly wished A stranger among them would have been the destruction of all their comfort and when Edmund pursuing that idea gave a hint of his hope as to the limitation of the audience they were ready in the complaisance of the moment to promise anything It was all good humour and encouragement Mrs Norris offered to contrive his dress Mr Yates assured him that Anhalt 's last scene with the Baron admitted a good deal of action and emphasis and Mr Rushworth undertook to count his speeches {para} Perhaps said Tom Fanny may be more disposed to oblige us now Perhaps you may persuade her {para} No she is quite determined She certainly will not act {para} Oh very well And not another word was said but Fanny felt herself again in danger and her indifference to the danger was beginning to fail her already {para} There were not fewer smiles at the Parsonage than at the Park on this change in Edmund Miss Crawford looked very lovely in hers and entered with such an instantaneous renewal of cheerfulness into the whole affair as could have but one effect on him He was certainly right in respecting such feelings he was glad he had determined on it And the morning wore away in satisfactions very sweet if not very sound One advantage resulted from it to Fanny at the earnest request of Miss Crawford Mrs Grant had with her usual good humour agreed to undertake the part for which Fanny had been wanted and this was all that occurred to gladden her heart during the day and even this when imparted by Edmund brought a pang with it for it was Miss Crawford to whom she was obliged it was Miss Crawford whose kind exertions were to excite her gratitude and whose merit in making them was spoken of with a glow of admiration She was safe but peace and safety were unconnected here Her mind had been never farther from peace She could not feel that she had done wrong herself but she was disquieted in every other way Her heart and her judgment were equally against Edmund 's decision she could not acquit his unsteadiness and his happiness under it made her wretched She was full of jealousy and agitation Miss Crawford came with looks of gaiety which seemed an insult with friendly expressions towards herself which she could hardly answer calmly Everybody around her was gay and busy prosperous and important each had their object of interest their part their dress their favourite scene their friends and confederates all were finding employment in consultations and comparisons or diversion in the playful conceits they suggested She alone was sad and insignificant she had no share in anything she might go or stay she might be in the midst of their noise or retreat from it to the solitude of the East room without being seen or missed She could almost think anything would have been preferable to this Mrs Grant was of consequence her good nature had honourable mention her taste and her time were considered her presence was wanted she was sought for and attended and praised and Fanny was at first in some danger of envying her the character she had accepted But reflection brought better feelings and shewed her that Mrs Grant was entitled to respect which could never have belonged to her and that had she received even the greatest she could never have been easy in joining a scheme which considering only her uncle she must condemn altogether {para} Fanny 's heart was not absolutely the only saddened one amongst them as she soon began to acknowledge to herself Julia was a sufferer too though not quite so blamelessly {para} Henry Crawford had trifled with her feelings but she had very long allowed and even sought his attentions with a jealousy of her sister so reasonable as ought to have been their cure and now that the conviction of his preference for Maria had been forced on her she submitted to it without any alarm for Maria 's situation or any endeavour at rational tranquillity for herself She either sat in gloomy silence wrapt in such gravity as nothing could subdue no curiosity touch no wit amuse or allowing the attentions of Mr Yates was talking with forced gaiety to him alone and ridiculing the acting of the others {para} For a day or two after the affront was given Henry Crawford had endeavoured to do it away by the usual attack of gallantry and compliment but he had not cared enough about it to persevere against a few repulses and becoming soon too busy with his play to have time for more than one flirtation he grew indifferent to the quarrel or rather thought it a lucky occurrence as quietly putting an end to what might ere long have raised expectations in more than Mrs Grant She was not pleased to see Julia excluded from the play and sitting by disregarded but as it was not a matter which really involved her happiness as Henry must be the best judge of his own and as he did assure her with a most persuasive smile that neither he nor Julia had ever had a serious thought of each other she could only renew her former caution as to the elder sister entreat him not to risk his tranquillity by too much admiration there and then gladly take her share in anything that brought cheerfulness to the young people in general and that did so particularly promote the pleasure of the two so dear to her {para} I rather wonder Julia is not in love with Henry was her observation to Mary {para} I dare say she is replied Mary coldly I imagine both sisters are {para} Both no no that must not be Do not give him a hint of it Think of Mr Rushworth {para} You had better tell Miss Bertram to think of Mr Rushworth It may do her some good I often think of Mr Rushworth 's property and independence and wish them in other hands but I never think of him A man might represent the county with such an estate a man might escape a profession and represent the county {para} I dare say he will be in parliament soon When Sir Thomas comes I dare say he will be in for some borough but there has been nobody to put him in the way of doing anything yet {para} Sir Thomas is to achieve many mighty things when he comes home said Mary after a pause Do you remember Hawkins Browne 's Address to Tobacco in imitation of Pope {para} Blest leaf whose aromatic gales dispense To Templars modesty to Parsons sense {para} I will parody them {para} Blest Knight whose dictatorial looks dispense To Children affluence to Rushworth sense {para} Will not that do Mrs Grant Everything seems to depend upon Sir Thomas 's return {para} You will find his consequence very just and reasonable when you see him in his family I assure you I do not think we do so well without him He has a fine dignified manner which suits the head of such a house and keeps everybody in their place Lady Bertram seems more of a cipher now than when he is at home and nobody else can keep Mrs Norris in order But Mary do not fancy that Maria Bertram cares for Henry I am sure Julia does not or she would not have flirted as she did last night with Mr Yates and though he and Maria are very good friends I think she likes Sotherton too well to be inconstant {para} I would not give much for Mr Rushworth 's chance if Henry stept in before the articles were signed {para} If you have such a suspicion something must be done and as soon as the play is all over we will talk to him seriously and make him know his own mind and if he means nothing we will send him off though he is Henry for a time {para} Julia did suffer however though Mrs Grant discerned it not and though it escaped the notice of many of her own family likewise She had loved she did love still and she had all the suffering which a warm temper and a high spirit were likely to endure under the disappointment of a dear though irrational hope with a strong sense of ill usage Her heart was sore and angry and she was capable only of angry consolations The sister with whom she was used to be on easy terms was now become her greatest enemy they were alienated from each other and Julia was not superior to the hope of some distressing end to the attentions which were still carrying on there some punishment to Maria for conduct so shameful towards herself as well as towards Mr Rushworth With no material fault of temper or difference of opinion to prevent their being very good friends while their interests were the same the sisters under such a trial as this had not affection or principle enough to make them merciful or just to give them honour or compassion Maria felt her triumph and pursued her purpose careless of Julia and Julia could never see Maria distinguished by Henry Crawford without trusting that it would create jealousy and bring a public disturbance at last {para} Fanny saw and pitied much of this in Julia but there was no outward fellowship between them Julia made no communication and Fanny took no liberties They were two solitary sufferers or connected only by Fanny 's consciousness {para} The inattention of the two brothers and the aunt to Julia 's discomposure and their blindness to its true cause must be imputed to the fullness of their own minds They were totally preoccupied Tom was engrossed by the concerns of his theatre and saw nothing that did not immediately relate to it Edmund between his theatrical and his real part between Miss Crawford 's claims and his own conduct between love and consistency was equally unobservant and Mrs Norris was too busy in contriving and directing the general little matters of the company superintending their various dresses with economical expedient for which nobody thanked her and saving with delighted integrity half a crown here and there to the absent Sir Thomas to have leisure for watching the behaviour or guarding the happiness of his daughters {para} CHAPTER XVIII {para} Everything was now in a regular train theatre actors actresses and dresses were all getting forward but though no other great impediments arose Fanny found before many days were past that it was not all uninterrupted enjoyment to the party themselves and that she had not to witness the continuance of such unanimity and delight as had been almost too much for her at first Everybody began to have their vexation Edmund had many Entirely against his judgment a scene painter arrived from town and was at work much to the increase of the expenses and what was worse of the eclat of their proceedings and his brother instead of being really guided by him as to the privacy of the representation was giving an invitation to every family who came in his way Tom himself began to fret over the scene painter 's slow progress and to feel the miseries of waiting He had learned his part all his parts for he took every trifling one that could be united with the Butler and began to be impatient to be acting and every day thus unemployed was tending to increase his sense of the insignificance of all his parts together and make him more ready to regret that some other play had not been chosen {para} Fanny being always a very courteous listener and often the only listener at hand came in for the complaints and the distresses of most of them She knew that Mr Yates was in general thought to rant dreadfully that Mr Yates was disappointed in Henry Crawford that Tom Bertram spoke so quick he would be unintelligible that Mrs Grant spoiled everything by laughing that Edmund was behindhand with his part and that it was misery to have anything to do with Mr Rushworth who was wanting a prompter through every speech She knew also that poor Mr Rushworth could seldom get anybody to rehearse with him his complaint came before her as well as the rest and so decided to her eye was her cousin Maria 's avoidance of him and so needlessly often the rehearsal of the first scene between her and Mr Crawford that she had soon all the terror of other complaints from him So far from being all satisfied and all enjoying she found everybody requiring something they had not and giving occasion of discontent to the others Everybody had a part either too long or too short nobody would attend as they ought nobody would remember on which side they were to come in nobody but the complainer would observe any directions {para} Fanny believed herself to derive as much innocent enjoyment from the play as any of them Henry Crawford acted well and it was a pleasure to her to creep into the theatre and attend the rehearsal of the first act in spite of the feelings it excited in some speeches for Maria Maria she also thought acted well too well and after the first rehearsal or two Fanny began to be their only audience and sometimes as prompter sometimes as spectator was often very useful As far as she could judge Mr Crawford was considerably the best actor of all he had more confidence than Edmund more judgment than Tom more talent and taste than Mr Yates She did not like him as a man but she must admit him to be the best actor and on this point there were not many who differed from her Mr Yates indeed exclaimed against his tameness and insipidity and the day came at last when Mr Rushworth turned to her with a black look and said Do you think there is anything so very fine in all this For the life and soul of me I cannot admire him and between ourselves to see such an undersized little mean looking man set up for a fine actor is very ridiculous in my opinion {para} From this moment there was a return of his former jealousy which Maria from increasing hopes of Crawford was at little pains to remove and the chances of Mr Rushworth 's ever attaining to the knowledge of his two and forty speeches became much less As to his ever making anything tolerable of them nobody had the smallest idea of that except his mother she indeed regretted that his part was not more considerable and deferred coming over to Mansfield till they were forward enough in their rehearsal to comprehend all his scenes but the others aspired at nothing beyond his remembering the catchword and the first line of his speech and being able to follow the prompter through the rest Fanny in her pity and kindheartedness was at great pains to teach him how to learn giving him all the helps and directions in her power trying to make an artificial memory for him and learning every word of his part herself but without his being much the forwarder {para} Many uncomfortable anxious apprehensive feelings she certainly had but with all these and other claims on her time and attention she was as far from finding herself without employment or utility amongst them as without a companion in uneasiness quite as far from having no demand on her leisure as on her compassion The gloom of her first anticipations was proved to have been unfounded She was occasionally useful to all she was perhaps as much at peace as any {para} There was a great deal of needlework to be done moreover in which her help was wanted and that Mrs Norris thought her quite as well off as the rest was evident by the manner in which she claimed it Come Fanny she cried these are fine times for you but you must not be always walking from one room to the other and doing the lookings on at your ease in this way I want you here I have been slaving myself till I can hardly stand to contrive Mr Rushworth 's cloak without sending for any more satin and now I think you may give me your help in putting it together There are but three seams you may do them in a trice It would be lucky for me if I had nothing but the executive part to do You are best off I can tell you but if nobody did more than you we should not get on very fast {para} Fanny took the work very quietly without attempting any defence but her kinder aunt Bertram observed on her behalf {para} One cannot wonder sister that Fanny should be delighted it is all new to her you know you and I used to be very fond of a play ourselves and so am I still and as soon as I am a little more at leisure I mean to look in at their rehearsals too What is the play about Fanny you have never told me {para} Oh sister pray do not ask her now for Fanny is not one of those who can talk and work at the same time It is about Lovers Vows {para} I believe said Fanny to her aunt Bertram there will be three acts rehearsed to morrow evening and that will give you an opportunity of seeing all the actors at once {para} You had better stay till the curtain is hung interposed Mrs Norris the curtain will be hung in a day or two there is very little sense in a play without a curtain and I am much mistaken if you do not find it draw up into very handsome festoons {para} Lady Bertram seemed quite resigned to waiting Fanny did not share her aunt 's composure she thought of the morrow a great deal for if the three acts were rehearsed Edmund and Miss Crawford would then be acting together for the first time the third act would bring a scene between them which interested her most particularly and which she was longing and dreading to see how they would perform The whole subject of it was love a marriage of love was to be described by the gentleman and very little short of a declaration of love be made by the lady {para} She had read and read the scene again with many painful many wondering emotions and looked forward to their representation of it as a circumstance almost too interesting She did not believe they had yet rehearsed it even in private {para} The morrow came the plan for the evening continued and Fanny 's consideration of it did not become less agitated She worked very diligently under her aunt 's directions but her diligence and her silence concealed a very absent anxious mind and about noon she made her escape with her work to the East room that she might have no concern in another and as she deemed it most unnecessary rehearsal of the first act which Henry Crawford was just proposing desirous at once of having her time to herself and of avoiding the sight of Mr Rushworth A glimpse as she passed through the hall of the two ladies walking up from the Parsonage made no change in her wish of retreat and she worked and meditated in the East room undisturbed for a quarter of an hour when a gentle tap at the door was followed by the entrance of Miss Crawford {para} Am I right Yes this is the East room My dear Miss Price I beg your pardon but I have made my way to you on purpose to entreat your help {para} Fanny quite surprised endeavoured to shew herself mistress of the room by her civilities and looked at the bright bars of her empty grate with concern {para} Thank you I am quite warm very warm Allow me to stay here a little while and do have the goodness to hear me my third act I have brought my book and if you would but rehearse it with me I should be so obliged I came here to day intending to rehearse it with Edmund by ourselves against the evening but he is not in the way and if he were I do not think I could go through it with him till I have hardened myself a little for really there is a speech or two You will be so good won't you {para} Fanny was most civil in her assurances though she could not give them in a very steady voice {para} Have you ever happened to look at the part I mean continued Miss Crawford opening her book Here it is I did not think much of it at first but upon my word There look at that speech and that and that How am I ever to look him in the face and say such things Could you do it But then he is your cousin which makes all the difference You must rehearse it with me that I may fancy you him and get on by degrees You have a look of his sometimes {para} Have I I will do my best with the greatest readiness but I must read the part for I can say very little of it {para} None of it I suppose You are to have the book of course Now for it We must have two chairs at hand for you to bring forward to the front of the stage There very good school room chairs not made for a theatre I dare say much more fitted for little girls to sit and kick their feet against when they are learning a lesson What would your governess and your uncle say to see them used for such a purpose Could Sir Thomas look in upon us just now he would bless himself for we are rehearsing all over the house Yates is storming away in the dining room I heard him as I came upstairs and the theatre is engaged of course by those indefatigable rehearsers Agatha and Frederick If they are not perfect I shall be surprised By the bye I looked in upon them five minutes ago and it happened to be exactly at one of the times when they were trying not to embrace and Mr Rushworth was with me I thought he began to look a little queer so I turned it off as well as I could by whispering to him We shall have an excellent Agatha there is something so maternal in her manner so completely maternal in her voice and countenance Was not that well done of me He brightened up directly Now for my soliloquy {para} She began and Fanny joined in with all the modest feeling which the idea of representing Edmund was so strongly calculated to inspire but with looks and voice so truly feminine as to be no very good picture of a man With such an Anhalt however Miss Crawford had courage enough and they had got through half the scene when a tap at the door brought a pause and the entrance of Edmund the next moment suspended it all {para} Surprise consciousness and pleasure appeared in each of the three on this unexpected meeting and as Edmund was come on the very same business that had brought Miss Crawford consciousness and pleasure were likely to be more than momentary in them He too had his book and was seeking Fanny to ask her to rehearse with him and help him to prepare for the evening without knowing Miss Crawford to be in the house and great was the joy and animation of being thus thrown together of comparing schemes and sympathising in praise of Fanny 's kind offices {para} She could not equal them in their warmth Her spirits sank under the glow of theirs and she felt herself becoming too nearly nothing to both to have any comfort in having been sought by either They must now rehearse together Edmund proposed urged entreated it till the lady not very unwilling at first could refuse no longer and Fanny was wanted only to prompt and observe them She was invested indeed with the office of judge and critic and earnestly desired to exercise it and tell them all their faults but from doing so every feeling within her shrank she could not would not dared not attempt it had she been otherwise qualified for criticism her conscience must have restrained her from venturing at disapprobation She believed herself to feel too much of it in the aggregate for honesty or safety in particulars To prompt them must be enough for her and it was sometimes more than enough for she could not always pay attention to the book In watching them she forgot herself and agitated by the increasing spirit of Edmund 's manner had once closed the page and turned away exactly as he wanted help It was imputed to very reasonable weariness and she was thanked and pitied but she deserved their pity more than she hoped they would ever surmise At last the scene was over and Fanny forced herself to add her praise to the compliments each was giving the other and when again alone and able to recall the whole she was inclined to believe their performance would indeed have such nature and feeling in it as must ensure their credit and make it a very suffering exhibition to herself Whatever might be its effect however she must stand the brunt of it again that very day {para} The first regular rehearsal of the three first acts was certainly to take place in the evening Mrs Grant and the Crawfords were engaged to return for that purpose as soon as they could after dinner and every one concerned was looking forward with eagerness There seemed a general diffusion of cheerfulness on the occasion Tom was enjoying such an advance towards the end Edmund was in spirits from the morning 's rehearsal and little vexations seemed everywhere smoothed away All were alert and impatient the ladies moved soon the gentlemen soon followed them and with the exception of Lady Bertram Mrs Norris and Julia everybody was in the theatre at an early hour and having lighted it up as well as its unfinished state admitted were waiting only the arrival of Mrs Grant and the Crawfords to begin {para} They did not wait long for the Crawfords but there was no Mrs Grant She could not come Dr Grant professing an indisposition for which he had little credit with his fair sister in law could not spare his wife {para} Dr Grant is ill said she with mock solemnity He has been ill ever since he did not eat any of the pheasant today He fancied it tough sent away his plate and has been suffering ever since {para} Here was disappointment Mrs Grant 's non attendance was sad indeed Her pleasant manners and cheerful conformity made her always valuable amongst them but now she was absolutely necessary They could not act they could not rehearse with any satisfaction without her The comfort of the whole evening was destroyed What was to be done Tom as Cottager was in despair After a pause of perplexity some eyes began to be turned towards Fanny and a voice or two to say If Miss Price would be so good as to read the part She was immediately surrounded by supplications everybody asked it even Edmund said Do Fanny if it is not very disagreeable to you {para} But Fanny still hung back She could not endure the idea of it Why was not Miss Crawford to be applied to as well Or why had not she rather gone to her own room as she had felt to be safest instead of attending the rehearsal at all She had known it would irritate and distress her she had known it her duty to keep away She was properly punished {para} You have only to read the part said Henry Crawford with renewed entreaty {para} And I do believe she can say every word of it added Maria for she could put Mrs Grant right the other day in twenty places Fanny I am sure you know the part {para} Fanny could not say she did not and as they all persevered as Edmund repeated his wish and with a look of even fond dependence on her good nature she must yield She would do her best Everybody was satisfied and she was left to the tremors of a most palpitating heart while the others prepared to begin {para} They did begin and being too much engaged in their own noise to be struck by an unusual noise in the other part of the house had proceeded some way when the door of the room was thrown open and Julia appearing at it with a face all aghast exclaimed My father is come He is in the hall at this moment {para} CHAPTER XIX {para} How is the consternation of the party to be described To the greater number it was a moment of absolute horror Sir Thomas in the house All felt the instantaneous conviction Not a hope of imposition or mistake was harboured anywhere Julia 's looks were an evidence of the fact that made it indisputable and after the first starts and exclamations not a word was spoken for half a minute each with an altered countenance was looking at some other and almost each was feeling it a stroke the most unwelcome most ill timed most appalling Mr Yates might consider it only as a vexatious interruption for the evening and Mr Rushworth might imagine it a blessing but every other heart was sinking under some degree of self condemnation or undefined alarm every other heart was suggesting What will become of us what is to be done now It was a terrible pause and terrible to every ear were the corroborating sounds of opening doors and passing footsteps {para} Julia was the first to move and speak again Jealousy and bitterness had been suspended selfishness was lost in the common cause but at the moment of her appearance Frederick was listening with looks of devotion to Agatha 's narrative and pressing her hand to his heart and as soon as she could notice this and see that in spite of the shock of her words he still kept his station and retained her sister 's hand her wounded heart swelled again with injury and looking as red as she had been white before she turned out of the room saying I need not be afraid of appearing before him {para} Her going roused the rest and at the same moment the two brothers stepped forward feeling the necessity of doing something A very few words between them were sufficient The case admitted no difference of opinion they must go to the drawing room directly Maria joined them with the same intent just then the stoutest of the three for the very circumstance which had driven Julia away was to her the sweetest support Henry Crawford 's retaining her hand at such a moment a moment of such peculiar proof and importance was worth ages of doubt and anxiety She hailed it as an earnest of the most serious determination and was equal even to encounter her father They walked off utterly heedless of Mr Rushworth 's repeated question of Shall I go too Had not I better go too Will not it be right for me to go too but they were no sooner through the door than Henry Crawford undertook to answer the anxious inquiry and encouraging him by all means to pay his respects to Sir Thomas without delay sent him after the others with delighted haste {para} Fanny was left with only the Crawfords and Mr Yates She had been quite overlooked by her cousins and as her own opinion of her claims on Sir Thomas 's affection was much too humble to give her any idea of classing herself with his children she was glad to remain behind and gain a little breathing time Her agitation and alarm exceeded all that was endured by the rest by the right of a disposition which not even innocence could keep from suffering She was nearly fainting all her former habitual dread of her uncle was returning and with it compassion for him and for almost every one of the party on the development before him with solicitude on Edmund 's account indescribable She had found a seat where in excessive trembling she was enduring all these fearful thoughts while the other three no longer under any restraint were giving vent to their feelings of vexation lamenting over such an unlooked for premature arrival as a most untoward event and without mercy wishing poor Sir Thomas had been twice as long on his passage or were still in Antigua {para} The Crawfords were more warm on the subject than Mr Yates from better understanding the family and judging more clearly of the mischief that must ensue The ruin of the play was to them a certainty they felt the total destruction of the scheme to be inevitably at hand while Mr Yates considered it only as a temporary interruption a disaster for the evening and could even suggest the possibility of the rehearsal being renewed after tea when the bustle of receiving Sir Thomas were over and he might be at leisure to be amused by it The Crawfords laughed at the idea and having soon agreed on the propriety of their walking quietly home and leaving the family to themselves proposed Mr Yates 's accompanying them and spending the evening at the Parsonage But Mr Yates having never been with those who thought much of parental claims or family confidence could not perceive that anything of the kind was necessary and therefore thanking them said he preferred remaining where he was that he might pay his respects to the old gentleman handsomely since he was come and besides he did not think it would be fair by the others to have everybody run away {para} Fanny was just beginning to collect herself and to feel that if she staid longer behind it might seem disrespectful when this point was settled and being commissioned with the brother and sister 's apology saw them preparing to go as she quitted the room herself to perform the dreadful duty of appearing before her uncle {para} Too soon did she find herself at the drawing room door and after pausing a moment for what she knew would not come for a courage which the outside of no door had ever supplied to her she turned the lock in desperation and the lights of the drawing room and all the collected family were before her As she entered her own name caught her ear Sir Thomas was at that moment looking round him and saying But where is Fanny Why do not I see my little Fanny and on perceiving her came forward with a kindness which astonished and penetrated her calling her his dear Fanny kissing her affectionately and observing with decided pleasure how much she was grown Fanny knew not how to feel nor where to look She was quite oppressed He had never been so kind so very kind to her in his life His manner seemed changed his voice was quick from the agitation of joy and all that had been awful in his dignity seemed lost in tenderness He led her nearer the light and looked at her again inquired particularly after her health and then correcting himself observed that he need not inquire for her appearance spoke sufficiently on that point A fine blush having succeeded the previous paleness of her face he was justified in his belief of her equal improvement in health and beauty He inquired next after her family especially William and his kindness altogether was such as made her reproach herself for loving him so little and thinking his return a misfortune and when on having courage to lift her eyes to his face she saw that he was grown thinner and had the burnt fagged worn look of fatigue and a hot climate every tender feeling was increased and she was miserable in considering how much unsuspected vexation was probably ready to burst on him {para} Sir Thomas was indeed the life of the party who at his suggestion now seated themselves round the fire He had the best right to be the talker and the delight of his sensations in being again in his own house in the centre of his family after such a separation made him communicative and chatty in a very unusual degree and he was ready to give every information as to his voyage and answer every question of his two sons almost before it was put His business in Antigua had latterly been prosperously rapid and he came directly from Liverpool having had an opportunity of making his passage thither in a private vessel instead of waiting for the packet and all the little particulars of his proceedings and events his arrivals and departures were most promptly delivered as he sat by Lady Bertram and looked with heartfelt satisfaction on the faces around him interrupting himself more than once however to remark on his good fortune in finding them all at home coming unexpectedly as he did all collected together exactly as he could have wished but dared not depend on Mr Rushworth was not forgotten a most friendly reception and warmth of hand shaking had already met him and with pointed attention he was now included in the objects most intimately connected with Mansfield There was nothing disagreeable in Mr Rushworth 's appearance and Sir Thomas was liking him already {para} By not one of the circle was he listened to with such unbroken unalloyed enjoyment as by his wife who was really extremely happy to see him and whose feelings were so warmed by his sudden arrival as to place her nearer agitation than she had been for the last twenty years She had been almost fluttered for a few minutes and still remained so sensibly animated as to put away her work move Pug from her side and give all her attention and all the rest of her sofa to her husband She had no anxieties for anybody to cloud her pleasure her own time had been irreproachably spent during his absence she had done a great deal of carpet work and made many yards of fringe and she would have answered as freely for the good conduct and useful pursuits of all the young people as for her own It was so agreeable to her to see him again and hear him talk to have her ear amused and her whole comprehension filled by his narratives that she began particularly to feel how dreadfully she must have missed him and how impossible it would have been for her to bear a lengthened absence {para} Mrs Norris was by no means to be compared in happiness to her sister Not that she was incommoded by many fears of Sir Thomas 's disapprobation when the present state of his house should be known for her judgment had been so blinded that except by the instinctive caution with which she had whisked away Mr Rushworth 's pink satin cloak as her brother in law entered she could hardly be said to shew any sign of alarm but she was vexed by the manner of his return It had left her nothing to do Instead of being sent for out of the room and seeing him first and having to spread the happy news through the house Sir Thomas with a very reasonable dependence perhaps on the nerves of his wife and children had sought no confidant but the butler and had been following him almost instantaneously into the drawing room Mrs Norris felt herself defrauded of an office on which she had always depended whether his arrival or his death were to be the thing unfolded and was now trying to be in a bustle without having anything to bustle about and labouring to be important where nothing was wanted but tranquillity and silence Would Sir Thomas have consented to eat she might have gone to the housekeeper with troublesome directions and insulted the footmen with injunctions of despatch but Sir Thomas resolutely declined all dinner he would take nothing nothing till tea came he would rather wait for tea Still Mrs Norris was at intervals urging something different and in the most interesting moment of his passage to England when the alarm of a French privateer was at the height she burst through his recital with the proposal of soup Sure my dear Sir Thomas a basin of soup would be a much better thing for you than tea Do have a basin of soup {para} Sir Thomas could not be provoked Still the same anxiety for everybody 's comfort my dear Mrs Norris was his answer But indeed I would rather have nothing but tea {para} Well then Lady Bertram suppose you speak for tea directly suppose you hurry Baddeley a little he seems behindhand to night She carried this point and Sir Thomas 's narrative proceeded {para} At length there was a pause His immediate communications were exhausted and it seemed enough to be looking joyfully around him now at one now at another of the beloved circle but the pause was not long in the elation of her spirits Lady Bertram became talkative and what were the sensations of her children upon hearing her say How do you think the young people have been amusing themselves lately Sir Thomas They have been acting We have been all alive with acting {para} Indeed and what have you been acting {para} Oh they 'll tell you all about it {para} The all will soon be told cried Tom hastily and with affected unconcern but it is not worth while to bore my father with it now You will hear enough of it to morrow sir We have just been trying by way of doing something and amusing my mother just within the last week to get up a few scenes a mere trifle We have had such incessant rains almost since October began that we have been nearly confined to the house for days together I have hardly taken out a gun since the 3rd Tolerable sport the first three days but there has been no attempting anything since The first day I went over Mansfield Wood and Edmund took the copses beyond Easton and we brought home six brace between us and might each have killed six times as many but we respect your pheasants sir I assure you as much as you could desire I do not think you will find your woods by any means worse stocked than they were I never saw Mansfield Wood so full of pheasants in my life as this year I hope you will take a day 's sport there yourself sir soon {para} For the present the danger was over and Fanny 's sick feelings subsided but when tea was soon afterwards brought in and Sir Thomas getting up said that he found that he could not be any longer in the house without just looking into his own dear room every agitation was returning He was gone before anything had been said to prepare him for the change he must find there and a pause of alarm followed his disappearance Edmund was the first to speak {para} Something must be done said he {para} It is time to think of our visitors said Maria still feeling her hand pressed to Henry Crawford 's heart and caring little for anything else Where did you leave Miss Crawford Fanny {para} Fanny told of their departure and delivered their message {para} Then poor Yates is all alone cried Tom I will go and fetch him He will be no bad assistant when it all comes out {para} To the theatre he went and reached it just in time to witness the first meeting of his father and his friend Sir Thomas had been a good deal surprised to find candles burning in his room and on casting his eye round it to see other symptoms of recent habitation and a general air of confusion in the furniture The removal of the bookcase from before the billiard room door struck him especially but he had scarcely more than time to feel astonished at all this before there were sounds from the billiard room to astonish him still farther Some one was talking there in a very loud accent he did not know the voice more than talking almost hallooing He stepped to the door rejoicing at that moment in having the means of immediate communication and opening it found himself on the stage of a theatre and opposed to a ranting young man who appeared likely to knock him down backwards At the very moment of Yates perceiving Sir Thomas and giving perhaps the very best start he had ever given in the whole course of his rehearsals Tom Bertram entered at the other end of the room and never had he found greater difficulty in keeping his countenance His father 's looks of solemnity and amazement on this his first appearance on any stage and the gradual metamorphosis of the impassioned Baron Wildenheim into the well bred and easy Mr Yates making his bow and apology to Sir Thomas Bertram was such an exhibition such a piece of true acting as he would not have lost upon any account It would be the last in all probability the last scene on that stage but he was sure there could not be a finer The house would close with the greatest eclat {para} There was little time however for the indulgence of any images of merriment It was necessary for him to step forward too and assist the introduction and with many awkward sensations he did his best Sir Thomas received Mr Yates with all the appearance of cordiality which was due to his own character but was really as far from pleased with the necessity of the acquaintance as with the manner of its commencement Mr Yates 's family and connexions were sufficiently known to him to render his introduction as the particular friend another of the hundred particular friends of his son exceedingly unwelcome and it needed all the felicity of being again at home and all the forbearance it could supply to save Sir Thomas from anger on finding himself thus bewildered in his own house making part of a ridiculous exhibition in the midst of theatrical nonsense and forced in so untoward a moment to admit the acquaintance of a young man whom he felt sure of disapproving and whose easy indifference and volubility in the course of the first five minutes seemed to mark him the most at home of the two {para} Tom understood his father 's thoughts and heartily wishing he might be always as well disposed to give them but partial expression began to see more clearly than he had ever done before that there might be some ground of offence that there might be some reason for the glance his father gave towards the ceiling and stucco of the room and that when he inquired with mild gravity after the fate of the billiard table he was not proceeding beyond a very allowable curiosity A few minutes were enough for such unsatisfactory sensations on each side and Sir Thomas having exerted himself so far as to speak a few words of calm approbation in reply to an eager appeal of Mr Yates as to the happiness of the arrangement the three gentlemen returned to the drawing room together Sir Thomas with an increase of gravity which was not lost on all {para} I come from your theatre said he composedly as he sat down I found myself in it rather unexpectedly Its vicinity to my own room but in every respect indeed it took me by surprise as I had not the smallest suspicion of your acting having assumed so serious a character It appears a neat job however as far as I could judge by candlelight and does my friend Christopher Jackson credit And then he would have changed the subject and sipped his coffee in peace over domestic matters of a calmer hue but Mr Yates without discernment to catch Sir Thomas 's meaning or diffidence or delicacy or discretion enough to allow him to lead the discourse while he mingled among the others with the least obtrusiveness himself would keep him on the topic of the theatre would torment him with questions and remarks relative to it and finally would make him hear the whole history of his disappointment at Ecclesford Sir Thomas listened most politely but found much to offend his ideas of decorum and confirm his ill opinion of Mr Yates 's habits of thinking from the beginning to the end of the story and when it was over could give him no other assurance of sympathy than what a slight bow conveyed {para} This was in fact the origin of our acting said Tom after a moment 's thought My friend Yates brought the infection from Ecclesford and it spread as those things always spread you know sir the faster probably from your having so often encouraged the sort of thing in us formerly It was like treading old ground again {para} Mr Yates took the subject from his friend as soon as possible and immediately gave Sir Thomas an account of what they had done and were doing told him of the gradual increase of their views the happy conclusion of their first difficulties and present promising state of affairs relating everything with so blind an interest as made him not only totally unconscious of the uneasy movements of many of his friends as they sat the change of countenance the fidget the hem of unquietness but prevented him even from seeing the expression of the face on which his own eyes were fixed from seeing Sir Thomas 's dark brow contract as he looked with inquiring earnestness at his daughters and Edmund dwelling particularly on the latter and speaking a language a remonstrance a reproof which he felt at his heart Not less acutely was it felt by Fanny who had edged back her chair behind her aunt 's end of the sofa and screened from notice herself saw all that was passing before her Such a look of reproach at Edmund from his father she could never have expected to witness and to feel that it was in any degree deserved was an aggravation indeed Sir Thomas 's look implied On your judgment Edmund I depended what have you been about She knelt in spirit to her uncle and her bosom swelled to utter Oh not to him Look so to all the others but not to him {para} Mr Yates was still talking To own the truth Sir Thomas we were in the middle of a rehearsal when you arrived this evening We were going through the three first acts and not unsuccessfully upon the whole Our company is now so dispersed from the Crawfords being gone home that nothing more can be done to night but if you will give us the honour of your company to morrow evening I should not be afraid of the result We bespeak your indulgence you understand as young performers we bespeak your indulgence {para} My indulgence shall be given sir replied Sir Thomas gravely but without any other rehearsal And with a relenting smile he added I come home to be happy and indulgent Then turning away towards any or all of the rest he tranquilly said Mr and Miss Crawford were mentioned in my last letters from Mansfield Do you find them agreeable acquaintance {para} Tom was the only one at all ready with an answer but he being entirely without particular regard for either without jealousy either in love or acting could speak very handsomely of both Mr Crawford was a most pleasant gentleman like man his sister a sweet pretty elegant lively girl {para} Mr Rushworth could be silent no longer I do not say he is not gentleman like considering but you should tell your father he is not above five feet eight or he will be expecting a well looking man {para} Sir Thomas did not quite understand this and looked with some surprise at the speaker {para} If I must say what I think continued Mr Rushworth in my opinion it is very disagreeable to be always rehearsing It is having too much of a good thing I am not so fond of acting as I was at first I think we are a great deal better employed sitting comfortably here among ourselves and doing nothing {para} Sir Thomas looked again and then replied with an approving smile I am happy to find our sentiments on this subject so much the same It gives me sincere satisfaction That I should be cautious and quick sighted and feel many scruples which my children do not feel is perfectly natural and equally so that my value for domestic tranquillity for a home which shuts out noisy pleasures should much exceed theirs But at your time of life to feel all this is a most favourable circumstance for yourself and for everybody connected with you and I am sensible of the importance of having an ally of such weight {para} Sir Thomas meant to be giving Mr Rushworth 's opinion in better words than he could find himself He was aware that he must not expect a genius in Mr Rushworth but as a well judging steady young man with better notions than his elocution would do justice to he intended to value him very highly It was impossible for many of the others not to smile Mr Rushworth hardly knew what to do with so much meaning but by looking as he really felt most exceedingly pleased with Sir Thomas 's good opinion and saying scarcely anything he did his best towards preserving that good opinion a little longer {para} CHAPTER XX {para} Edmund 's first object the next morning was to see his father alone and give him a fair statement of the whole acting scheme defending his own share in it as far only as he could then in a soberer moment feel his motives to deserve and acknowledging with perfect ingenuousness that his concession had been attended with such partial good as to make his judgment in it very doubtful He was anxious while vindicating himself to say nothing unkind of the others but there was only one amongst them whose conduct he could mention without some necessity of defence or palliation We have all been more or less to blame said he every one of us excepting Fanny Fanny is the only one who has judged rightly throughout who has been consistent Her feelings have been steadily against it from first to last She never ceased to think of what was due to you You will find Fanny everything you could wish {para} Sir Thomas saw all the impropriety of such a scheme among such a party and at such a time as strongly as his son had ever supposed he must he felt it too much indeed for many words and having shaken hands with Edmund meant to try to lose the disagreeable impression and forget how much he had been forgotten himself as soon as he could after the house had been cleared of every object enforcing the remembrance and restored to its proper state He did not enter into any remonstrance with his other children he was more willing to believe they felt their error than to run the risk of investigation The reproof of an immediate conclusion of everything the sweep of every preparation would be sufficient {para} There was one person however in the house whom he could not leave to learn his sentiments merely through his conduct He could not help giving Mrs Norris a hint of his having hoped that her advice might have been interposed to prevent what her judgment must certainly have disapproved The young people had been very inconsiderate in forming the plan they ought to have been capable of a better decision themselves but they were young and excepting Edmund he believed of unsteady characters and with greater surprise therefore he must regard her acquiescence in their wrong measures her countenance of their unsafe amusements than that such measures and such amusements should have been suggested Mrs Norris was a little confounded and as nearly being silenced as ever she had been in her life for she was ashamed to confess having never seen any of the impropriety which was so glaring to Sir Thomas and would not have admitted that her influence was insufficient that she might have talked in vain Her only resource was to get out of the subject as fast as possible and turn the current of Sir Thomas 's ideas into a happier channel She had a great deal to insinuate in her own praise as to general attention to the interest and comfort of his family much exertion and many sacrifices to glance at in the form of hurried walks and sudden removals from her own fireside and many excellent hints of distrust and economy to Lady Bertram and Edmund to detail whereby a most considerable saving had always arisen and more than one bad servant been detected But her chief strength lay in Sotherton Her greatest support and glory was in having formed the connexion with the Rushworths There she was impregnable She took to herself all the credit of bringing Mr Rushworth 's admiration of Maria to any effect If I had not been active said she and made a point of being introduced to his mother and then prevailed on my sister to pay the first visit I am as certain as I sit here that nothing would have come of it for Mr Rushworth is the sort of amiable modest young man who wants a great deal of encouragement and there were girls enough on the catch for him if we had been idle But I left no stone unturned I was ready to move heaven and earth to persuade my sister and at last I did persuade her You know the distance to Sotherton it was in the middle of winter and the roads almost impassable but I did persuade her {para} I know how great how justly great your influence is with Lady Bertram and her children and am the more concerned that it should not have been {para} My dear Sir Thomas if you had seen the state of the roads that day I thought we should never have got through them though we had the four horses of course and poor old coachman would attend us out of his great love and kindness though he was hardly able to sit the box on account of the rheumatism which I had been doctoring him for ever since Michaelmas I cured him at last but he was very bad all the winter and this was such a day I could not help going to him up in his room before we set off to advise him not to venture he was putting on his wig so I said Coachman you had much better not go your Lady and I shall be very safe you know how steady Stephen is and Charles has been upon the leaders so often now that I am sure there is no fear But however I soon found it would not do he was bent upon going and as I hate to be worrying and officious I said no more but my heart quite ached for him at every jolt and when we got into the rough lanes about Stoke where what with frost and snow upon beds of stones it was worse than anything you can imagine I was quite in an agony about him And then the poor horses too To see them straining away You know how I always feel for the horses And when we got to the bottom of Sandcroft Hill what do you think I did You will laugh at me but I got out and walked up I did indeed It might not be saving them much but it was something and I could not bear to sit at my ease and be dragged up at the expense of those noble animals I caught a dreadful cold but that I did not regard My object was accomplished in the visit {para} I hope we shall always think the acquaintance worth any trouble that might be taken to establish it There is nothing very striking in Mr Rushworth 's manners but I was pleased last night with what appeared to be his opinion on one subject his decided preference of a quiet family party to the bustle and confusion of acting He seemed to feel exactly as one could wish {para} Yes indeed and the more you know of him the better you will like him He is not a shining character but he has a thousand good qualities and is so disposed to look up to you that I am quite laughed at about it for everybody considers it as my doing Upon my word Mrs Norris said Mrs Grant the other day if Mr Rushworth were a son of your own he could not hold Sir Thomas in greater respect {para} Sir Thomas gave up the point foiled by her evasions disarmed by her flattery and was obliged to rest satisfied with the conviction that where the present pleasure of those she loved was at stake her kindness did sometimes overpower her judgment {para} It was a busy morning with him Conversation with any of them occupied but a small part of it He had to reinstate himself in all the wonted concerns of his Mansfield life to see his steward and his bailiff to examine and compute and in the intervals of business to walk into his stables and his gardens and nearest plantations but active and methodical he had not only done all this before he resumed his seat as master of the house at dinner he had also set the carpenter to work in pulling down what had been so lately put up in the billiard room and given the scene painter his dismissal long enough to justify the pleasing belief of his being then at least as far off as Northampton The scene painter was gone having spoilt only the floor of one room ruined all the coachman 's sponges and made five of the under servants idle and dissatisfied and Sir Thomas was in hopes that another day or two would suffice to wipe away every outward memento of what had been even to the destruction of every unbound copy of Lovers Vows in the house for he was burning all that met his eye {para} Mr Yates was beginning now to understand Sir Thomas 's intentions though as far as ever from understanding their source He and his friend had been out with their guns the chief of the morning and Tom had taken the opportunity of explaining with proper apologies for his father 's particularity what was to be expected Mr Yates felt it as acutely as might be supposed To be a second time disappointed in the same way was an instance of very severe ill luck and his indignation was such that had it not been for delicacy towards his friend and his friend 's youngest sister he believed he should certainly attack the baronet on the absurdity of his proceedings and argue him into a little more rationality He believed this very stoutly while he was in Mansfield Wood and all the way home but there was a something in Sir Thomas when they sat round the same table which made Mr Yates think it wiser to let him pursue his own way and feel the folly of it without opposition He had known many disagreeable fathers before and often been struck with the inconveniences they occasioned but never in the whole course of his life had he seen one of that class so unintelligibly moral so infamously tyrannical as Sir Thomas He was not a man to be endured but for his children 's sake and he might be thankful to his fair daughter Julia that Mr Yates did yet mean to stay a few days longer under his roof {para} The evening passed with external smoothness though almost every mind was ruffled and the music which Sir Thomas called for from his daughters helped to conceal the want of real harmony Maria was in a good deal of agitation It was of the utmost consequence to her that Crawford should now lose no time in declaring himself and she was disturbed that even a day should be gone by without seeming to advance that point She had been expecting to see him the whole morning and all the evening too was still expecting him Mr Rushworth had set off early with the great news for Sotherton and she had fondly hoped for such an immediate eclaircissement as might save him the trouble of ever coming back again But they had seen no one from the Parsonage not a creature and had heard no tidings beyond a friendly note of congratulation and inquiry from Mrs Grant to Lady Bertram It was the first day for many many weeks in which the families had been wholly divided Four and twenty hours had never passed before since August began without bringing them together in some way or other It was a sad anxious day and the morrow though differing in the sort of evil did by no means bring less A few moments of feverish enjoyment were followed by hours of acute suffering Henry Crawford was again in the house he walked up with Dr Grant who was anxious to pay his respects to Sir Thomas and at rather an early hour they were ushered into the breakfast room where were most of the family Sir Thomas soon appeared and Maria saw with delight and agitation the introduction of the man she loved to her father Her sensations were indefinable and so were they a few minutes afterwards upon hearing Henry Crawford who had a chair between herself and Tom ask the latter in an undervoice whether there were any plans for resuming the play after the present happy interruption with a courteous glance at Sir Thomas because in that case he should make a point of returning to Mansfield at any time required by the party he was going away immediately being to meet his uncle at Bath without delay but if there were any prospect of a renewal of Lovers Vows he should hold himself positively engaged he should break through every other claim he should absolutely condition with his uncle for attending them whenever he might be wanted The play should not be lost by his absence {para} From Bath Norfolk London York wherever I may be said he I will attend you from any place in England at an hour 's notice {para} It was well at that moment that Tom had to speak and not his sister He could immediately say with easy fluency I am sorry you are going but as to our play that is all over entirely at an end looking significantly at his father The painter was sent off yesterday and very little will remain of the theatre to morrow I knew how that would be from the first It is early for Bath You will find nobody there {para} It is about my uncle 's usual time {para} When do you think of going {para} I may perhaps get as far as Banbury to day {para} Whose stables do you use at Bath was the next question and while this branch of the subject was under discussion Maria who wanted neither pride nor resolution was preparing to encounter her share of it with tolerable calmness {para} To her he soon turned repeating much of what he had already said with only a softened air and stronger expressions of regret But what availed his expressions or his air He was going and if not voluntarily going voluntarily intending to stay away for excepting what might be due to his uncle his engagements were all self imposed He might talk of necessity but she knew his independence The hand which had so pressed hers to his heart the hand and the heart were alike motionless and passive now Her spirit supported her but the agony of her mind was severe She had not long to endure what arose from listening to language which his actions contradicted or to bury the tumult of her feelings under the restraint of society for general civilities soon called his notice from her and the farewell visit as it then became openly acknowledged was a very short one He was gone he had touched her hand for the last time he had made his parting bow and she might seek directly all that solitude could do for her Henry Crawford was gone gone from the house and within two hours afterwards from the parish and so ended all the hopes his selfish vanity had raised in Maria and Julia Bertram {para} Julia could rejoice that he was gone His presence was beginning to be odious to her and if Maria gained him not she was now cool enough to dispense with any other revenge She did not want exposure to be added to desertion Henry Crawford gone she could even pity her sister {para} With a purer spirit did Fanny rejoice in the intelligence She heard it at dinner and felt it a blessing By all the others it was mentioned with regret and his merits honoured with due gradation of feeling from the sincerity of Edmund 's too partial regard to the unconcern of his mother speaking entirely by rote Mrs Norris began to look about her and wonder that his falling in love with Julia had come to nothing and could almost fear that she had been remiss herself in forwarding it but with so many to care for how was it possible for even her activity to keep pace with her wishes {para} Another day or two and Mr Yates was gone likewise In his departure Sir Thomas felt the chief interest wanting to be alone with his family the presence of a stranger superior to Mr Yates must have been irksome but of him trifling and confident idle and expensive it was every way vexatious In himself he was wearisome but as the friend of Tom and the admirer of Julia he became offensive Sir Thomas had been quite indifferent to Mr Crawford 's going or staying but his good wishes for Mr Yates 's having a pleasant journey as he walked with him to the hall door were given with genuine satisfaction Mr Yates had staid to see the destruction of every theatrical preparation at Mansfield the removal of everything appertaining to the play he left the house in all the soberness of its general character and Sir Thomas hoped in seeing him out of it to be rid of the worst object connected with the scheme and the last that must be inevitably reminding him of its existence {para} Mrs Norris contrived to remove one article from his sight that might have distressed him The curtain over which she had presided with such talent and such success went off with her to her cottage where she happened to be particularly in want of green baize {para} CHAPTER XXI {para} Sir Thomas 's return made a striking change in the ways of the family independent of Lovers Vows Under his government Mansfield was an altered place Some members of their society sent away and the spirits of many others saddened it was all sameness and gloom compared with the past a sombre family party rarely enlivened There was little intercourse with the Parsonage Sir Thomas drawing back from intimacies in general was particularly disinclined at this time for any engagements but in one quarter The Rushworths were the only addition to his own domestic circle which he could solicit {para} Edmund did not wonder that such should be his father 's feelings nor could he regret anything but the exclusion of the Grants But they he observed to Fanny have a claim They seem to belong to us they seem to be part of ourselves I could wish my father were more sensible of their very great attention to my mother and sisters while he was away I am afraid they may feel themselves neglected But the truth is that my father hardly knows them They had not been here a twelvemonth when he left England If he knew them better he would value their society as it deserves for they are in fact exactly the sort of people he would like We are sometimes a little in want of animation among ourselves my sisters seem out of spirits and Tom is certainly not at his ease Dr and Mrs Grant would enliven us and make our evenings pass away with more enjoyment even to my father {para} Do you think so said Fanny in my opinion my uncle would not like any addition I think he values the very quietness you speak of and that the repose of his own family circle is all he wants And it does not appear to me that we are more serious than we used to be I mean before my uncle went abroad As well as I can recollect it was always much the same There was never much laughing in his presence or if there is any difference it is not more I think than such an absence has a tendency to produce at first There must be a sort of shyness but I cannot recollect that our evenings formerly were ever merry except when my uncle was in town No young people 's are I suppose when those they look up to are at home {para} I believe you are right Fanny was his reply after a short consideration I believe our evenings are rather returned to what they were than assuming a new character The novelty was in their being lively Yet how strong the impression that only a few weeks will give I have been feeling as if we had never lived so before {para} I suppose I am graver than other people said Fanny The evenings do not appear long to me I love to hear my uncle talk of the West Indies I could listen to him for an hour together It entertains me more than many other things have done but then I am unlike other people I dare say {para} Why should you dare say that smiling Do you want to be told that you are only unlike other people in being more wise and discreet But when did you or anybody ever get a compliment from me Fanny Go to my father if you want to be complimented He will satisfy you Ask your uncle what he thinks and you will hear compliments enough and though they may be chiefly on your person you must put up with it and trust to his seeing as much beauty of mind in time {para} Such language was so new to Fanny that it quite embarrassed her {para} Your uncle thinks you very pretty dear Fanny and that is the long and the short of the matter Anybody but myself would have made something more of it and anybody but you would resent that you had not been thought very pretty before but the truth is that your uncle never did admire you till now and now he does Your complexion is so improved and you have gained so much countenance and your figure nay Fanny do not turn away about it it is but an uncle If you cannot bear an uncle 's admiration what is to become of you You must really begin to harden yourself to the idea of being worth looking at You must try not to mind growing up into a pretty woman {para} Oh don't talk so don't talk so cried Fanny distressed by more feelings than he was aware of but seeing that she was distressed he had done with the subject and only added more seriously {para} Your uncle is disposed to be pleased with you in every respect and I only wish you would talk to him more You are one of those who are too silent in the evening circle {para} But I do talk to him more than I used I am sure I do Did not you hear me ask him about the slave trade last night {para} I did and was in hopes the question would be followed up by others It would have pleased your uncle to be inquired of farther {para} And I longed to do it but there was such a dead silence And while my cousins were sitting by without speaking a word or seeming at all interested in the subject I did not like I thought it would appear as if I wanted to set myself off at their expense by shewing a curiosity and pleasure in his information which he must wish his own daughters to feel {para} Miss Crawford was very right in what she said of you the other day that you seemed almost as fearful of notice and praise as other women were of neglect We were talking of you at the Parsonage and those were her words She has great discernment I know nobody who distinguishes characters better For so young a woman it is remarkable She certainly understands you better than you are understood by the greater part of those who have known you so long and with regard to some others I can perceive from occasional lively hints the unguarded expressions of the moment that she could define many as accurately did not delicacy forbid it I wonder what she thinks of my father She must admire him as a fine looking man with most gentlemanlike dignified consistent manners but perhaps having seen him so seldom his reserve may be a little repulsive Could they be much together I feel sure of their liking each other He would enjoy her liveliness and she has talents to value his powers I wish they met more frequently I hope she does not suppose there is any dislike on his side {para} She must know herself too secure of the regard of all the rest of you said Fanny with half a sigh to have any such apprehension And Sir Thomas 's wishing just at first to be only with his family is so very natural that she can argue nothing from that After a little while I dare say we shall be meeting again in the same sort of way allowing for the difference of the time of year {para} This is the first October that she has passed in the country since her infancy I do not call Tunbridge or Cheltenham the country and November is a still more serious month and I can see that Mrs Grant is very anxious for her not finding Mansfield dull as winter comes on {para} Fanny could have said a great deal but it was safer to say nothing and leave untouched all Miss Crawford 's resources her accomplishments her spirits her importance her friends lest it should betray her into any observations seemingly unhandsome Miss Crawford 's kind opinion of herself deserved at least a grateful forbearance and she began to talk of something else {para} To morrow I think my uncle dines at Sotherton and you and Mr Bertram too We shall be quite a small party at home I hope my uncle may continue to like Mr Rushworth {para} That is impossible Fanny He must like him less after to morrow 's visit for we shall be five hours in his company I should dread the stupidity of the day if there were not a much greater evil to follow the impression it must leave on Sir Thomas He cannot much longer deceive himself I am sorry for them all and would give something that Rushworth and Maria had never met {para} In this quarter indeed disappointment was impending over Sir Thomas Not all his good will for Mr Rushworth not all Mr Rushworth 's deference for him could prevent him from soon discerning some part of the truth that Mr Rushworth was an inferior young man as ignorant in business as in books with opinions in general unfixed and without seeming much aware of it himself {para} He had expected a very different son in law and beginning to feel grave on Maria 's account tried to understand her feelings Little observation there was necessary to tell him that indifference was the most favourable state they could be in Her behaviour to Mr Rushworth was careless and cold She could not did not like him Sir Thomas resolved to speak seriously to her Advantageous as would be the alliance and long standing and public as was the engagement her happiness must not be sacrificed to it Mr Rushworth had perhaps been accepted on too short an acquaintance and on knowing him better she was repenting {para} With solemn kindness Sir Thomas addressed her told her his fears inquired into her wishes entreated her to be open and sincere and assured her that every inconvenience should be braved and the connexion entirely given up if she felt herself unhappy in the prospect of it He would act for her and release her Maria had a moment 's struggle as she listened and only a moment 's when her father ceased she was able to give her answer immediately decidedly and with no apparent agitation She thanked him for his great attention his paternal kindness but he was quite mistaken in supposing she had the smallest desire of breaking through her engagement or was sensible of any change of opinion or inclination since her forming it She had the highest esteem for Mr Rushworth 's character and disposition and could not have a doubt of her happiness with him {para} Sir Thomas was satisfied too glad to be satisfied perhaps to urge the matter quite so far as his judgment might have dictated to others It was an alliance which he could not have relinquished without pain and thus he reasoned Mr Rushworth was young enough to improve Mr Rushworth must and would improve in good society and if Maria could now speak so securely of her happiness with him speaking certainly without the prejudice the blindness of love she ought to be believed Her feelings probably were not acute he had never supposed them to be so but her comforts might not be less on that account and if she could dispense with seeing her husband a leading shining character there would certainly be everything else in her favour A well disposed young woman who did not marry for love was in general but the more attached to her own family and the nearness of Sotherton to Mansfield must naturally hold out the greatest temptation and would in all probability be a continual supply of the most amiable and innocent enjoyments Such and such like were the reasonings of Sir Thomas happy to escape the embarrassing evils of a rupture the wonder the reflections the reproach that must attend it happy to secure a marriage which would bring him such an addition of respectability and influence and very happy to think anything of his daughter 's disposition that was most favourable for the purpose {para} To her the conference closed as satisfactorily as to him She was in a state of mind to be glad that she had secured her fate beyond recall that she had pledged herself anew to Sotherton that she was safe from the possibility of giving Crawford the triumph of governing her actions and destroying her prospects and retired in proud resolve determined only to behave more cautiously to Mr Rushworth in future that her father might not be again suspecting her {para} Had Sir Thomas applied to his daughter within the first three or four days after Henry Crawford 's leaving Mansfield before her feelings were at all tranquillised before she had given up every hope of him or absolutely resolved on enduring his rival her answer might have been different but after another three or four days when there was no return no letter no message no symptom of a softened heart no hope of advantage from separation her mind became cool enough to seek all the comfort that pride and self revenge could give {para} Henry Crawford had destroyed her happiness but he should not know that he had done it he should not destroy her credit her appearance her prosperity too He should not have to think of her as pining in the retirement of Mansfield for him rejecting Sotherton and London independence and splendour for his sake Independence was more needful than ever the want of it at Mansfield more sensibly felt She was less and less able to endure the restraint which her father imposed The liberty which his absence had given was now become absolutely necessary She must escape from him and Mansfield as soon as possible and find consolation in fortune and consequence bustle and the world for a wounded spirit Her mind was quite determined and varied not {para} To such feelings delay even the delay of much preparation would have been an evil and Mr Rushworth could hardly be more impatient for the marriage than herself In all the important preparations of the mind she was complete being prepared for matrimony by an hatred of home restraint and tranquillity by the misery of disappointed affection and contempt of the man she was to marry The rest might wait The preparations of new carriages and furniture might wait for London and spring when her own taste could have fairer play {para} The principals being all agreed in this respect it soon appeared that a very few weeks would be sufficient for such arrangements as must precede the wedding {para} Mrs Rushworth was quite ready to retire and make way for the fortunate young woman whom her dear son had selected and very early in November removed herself her maid her footman and her chariot with true dowager propriety to Bath there to parade over the wonders of Sotherton in her evening parties enjoying them as thoroughly perhaps in the animation of a card table as she had ever done on the spot and before the middle of the same month the ceremony had taken place which gave Sotherton another mistress {para} It was a very proper wedding The bride was elegantly dressed the two bridesmaids were duly inferior her father gave her away her mother stood with salts in her hand expecting to be agitated her aunt tried to cry and the service was impressively read by Dr Grant Nothing could be objected to when it came under the discussion of the neighbourhood except that the carriage which conveyed the bride and bridegroom and Julia from the church door to Sotherton was the same chaise which Mr Rushworth had used for a twelvemonth before In everything else the etiquette of the day might stand the strictest investigation {para} It was done and they were gone Sir Thomas felt as an anxious father must feel and was indeed experiencing much of the agitation which his wife had been apprehensive of for herself but had fortunately escaped Mrs Norris most happy to assist in the duties of the day by spending it at the Park to support her sister 's spirits and drinking the health of Mr and Mrs Rushworth in a supernumerary glass or two was all joyous delight for she had made the match she had done everything and no one would have supposed from her confident triumph that she had ever heard of conjugal infelicity in her life or could have the smallest insight into the disposition of the niece who had been brought up under her eye {para} The plan of the young couple was to proceed after a few days to Brighton and take a house there for some weeks Every public place was new to Maria and Brighton is almost as gay in winter as in summer When the novelty of amusement there was over it would be time for the wider range of London {para} Julia was to go with them to Brighton Since rivalry between the sisters had ceased they had been gradually recovering much of their former good understanding and were at least sufficiently friends to make each of them exceedingly glad to be with the other at such a time Some other companion than Mr Rushworth was of the first consequence to his lady and Julia was quite as eager for novelty and pleasure as Maria though she might not have struggled through so much to obtain them and could better bear a subordinate situation {para} Their departure made another material change at Mansfield a chasm which required some time to fill up The family circle became greatly contracted and though the Miss Bertrams had latterly added little to its gaiety they could not but be missed Even their mother missed them and how much more their tenderhearted cousin who wandered about the house and thought of them and felt for them with a degree of affectionate regret which they had never done much to deserve {para} CHAPTER XXII {para} Fanny 's consequence increased on the departure of her cousins Becoming as she then did the only young woman in the drawing room the only occupier of that interesting division of a family in which she had hitherto held so humble a third it was impossible for her not to be more looked at more thought of and attended to than she had ever been before and Where is Fanny became no uncommon question even without her being wanted for any one 's convenience {para} Not only at home did her value increase but at the Parsonage too In that house which she had hardly entered twice a year since Mr Norris 's death she became a welcome an invited guest and in the gloom and dirt of a November day most acceptable to Mary Crawford Her visits there beginning by chance were continued by solicitation Mrs Grant really eager to get any change for her sister could by the easiest self deceit persuade herself that she was doing the kindest thing by Fanny and giving her the most important opportunities of improvement in pressing her frequent calls {para} Fanny having been sent into the village on some errand by her aunt Norris was overtaken by a heavy shower close to the Parsonage and being descried from one of the windows endeavouring to find shelter under the branches and lingering leaves of an oak just beyond their premises was forced though not without some modest reluctance on her part to come in A civil servant she had withstood but when Dr Grant himself went out with an umbrella there was nothing to be done but to be very much ashamed and to get into the house as fast as possible and to poor Miss Crawford who had just been contemplating the dismal rain in a very desponding state of mind sighing over the ruin of all her plan of exercise for that morning and of every chance of seeing a single creature beyond themselves for the next twenty four hours the sound of a little bustle at the front door and the sight of Miss Price dripping with wet in the vestibule was delightful The value of an event on a wet day in the country was most forcibly brought before her She was all alive again directly and among the most active in being useful to Fanny in detecting her to be wetter than she would at first allow and providing her with dry clothes and Fanny after being obliged to submit to all this attention and to being assisted and waited on by mistresses and maids being also obliged on returning downstairs to be fixed in their drawing room for an hour while the rain continued the blessing of something fresh to see and think of was thus extended to Miss Crawford and might carry on her spirits to the period of dressing and dinner {para} The two sisters were so kind to her and so pleasant that Fanny might have enjoyed her visit could she have believed herself not in the way and could she have foreseen that the weather would certainly clear at the end of the hour and save her from the shame of having Dr Grant 's carriage and horses out to take her home with which she was threatened As to anxiety for any alarm that her absence in such weather might occasion at home she had nothing to suffer on that score for as her being out was known only to her two aunts she was perfectly aware that none would be felt and that in whatever cottage aunt Norris might chuse to establish her during the rain her being in such cottage would be indubitable to aunt Bertram {para} It was beginning to look brighter when Fanny observing a harp in the room asked some questions about it which soon led to an acknowledgment of her wishing very much to hear it and a confession which could hardly be believed of her having never yet heard it since its being in Mansfield To Fanny herself it appeared a very simple and natural circumstance She had scarcely ever been at the Parsonage since the instrument 's arrival there had been no reason that she should but Miss Crawford calling to mind an early expressed wish on the subject was concerned at her own neglect and Shall I play to you now and What will you have were questions immediately following with the readiest good humour {para} She played accordingly happy to have a new listener and a listener who seemed so much obliged so full of wonder at the performance and who shewed herself not wanting in taste She played till Fanny 's eyes straying to the window on the weather 's being evidently fair spoke what she felt must be done {para} Another quarter of an hour said Miss Crawford and we shall see how it will be Do not run away the first moment of its holding up Those clouds look alarming {para} But they are passed over said Fanny I have been watching them This weather is all from the south {para} South or north I know a black cloud when I see it and you must not set forward while it is so threatening And besides I want to play something more to you a very pretty piece and your cousin Edmund 's prime favourite You must stay and hear your cousin 's favourite {para} Fanny felt that she must and though she had not waited for that sentence to be thinking of Edmund such a memento made her particularly awake to his idea and she fancied him sitting in that room again and again perhaps in the very spot where she sat now listening with constant delight to the favourite air played as it appeared to her with superior tone and expression and though pleased with it herself and glad to like whatever was liked by him she was more sincerely impatient to go away at the conclusion of it than she had been before and on this being evident she was so kindly asked to call again to take them in her walk whenever she could to come and hear more of the harp that she felt it necessary to be done if no objection arose at home {para} Such was the origin of the sort of intimacy which took place between them within the first fortnight after the Miss Bertrams going away an intimacy resulting principally from Miss Crawford 's desire of something new and which had little reality in Fanny 's feelings Fanny went to her every two or three days it seemed a kind of fascination she could not be easy without going and yet it was without loving her without ever thinking like her without any sense of obligation for being sought after now when nobody else was to be had and deriving no higher pleasure from her conversation than occasional amusement and that often at the expense of her judgment when it was raised by pleasantry on people or subjects which she wished to be respected She went however and they sauntered about together many an half hour in Mrs Grant 's shrubbery the weather being unusually mild for the time of year and venturing sometimes even to sit down on one of the benches now comparatively unsheltered remaining there perhaps till in the midst of some tender ejaculation of Fanny 's on the sweets of so protracted an autumn they were forced by the sudden swell of a cold gust shaking down the last few yellow leaves about them to jump up and walk for warmth {para} This is pretty very pretty said Fanny looking around her as they were thus sitting together one day every time I come into this shrubbery I am more struck with its growth and beauty Three years ago this was nothing but a rough hedgerow along the upper side of the field never thought of as anything or capable of becoming anything and now it is converted into a walk and it would be difficult to say whether most valuable as a convenience or an ornament and perhaps in another three years we may be forgetting almost forgetting what it was before How wonderful how very wonderful the operations of time and the changes of the human mind And following the latter train of thought she soon afterwards added If any one faculty of our nature may be called more wonderful than the rest I do think it is memory There seems something more speakingly incomprehensible in the powers the failures the inequalities of memory than in any other of our intelligences The memory is sometimes so retentive so serviceable so obedient at others so bewildered and so weak and at others again so tyrannic so beyond control We are to be sure a miracle every way but our powers of recollecting and of forgetting do seem peculiarly past finding out {para} Miss Crawford untouched and inattentive had nothing to say and Fanny perceiving it brought back her own mind to what she thought must interest {para} It may seem impertinent in me to praise but I must admire the taste Mrs Grant has shewn in all this There is such a quiet simplicity in the plan of the walk Not too much attempted {para} Yes replied Miss Crawford carelessly it does very well for a place of this sort One does not think of extent here and between ourselves till I came to Mansfield I had not imagined a country parson ever aspired to a shrubbery or anything of the kind {para} I am so glad to see the evergreens thrive said Fanny in reply My uncle 's gardener always says the soil here is better than his own and so it appears from the growth of the laurels and evergreens in general The evergreen How beautiful how welcome how wonderful the evergreen When one thinks of it how astonishing a variety of nature In some countries we know the tree that sheds its leaf is the variety but that does not make it less amazing that the same soil and the same sun should nurture plants differing in the first rule and law of their existence You will think me rhapsodising but when I am out of doors especially when I am sitting out of doors I am very apt to get into this sort of wondering strain One cannot fix one 's eyes on the commonest natural production without finding food for a rambling fancy {para} To say the truth replied Miss Crawford I am something like the famous Doge at the court of Lewis XIV and may declare that I see no wonder in this shrubbery equal to seeing myself in it If anybody had told me a year ago that this place would be my home that I should be spending month after month here as I have done I certainly should not have believed them I have now been here nearly five months and moreover the quietest five months I ever passed {para} Too quiet for you I believe {para} I should have thought so theoretically myself but and her eyes brightened as she spoke take it all and all I never spent so happy a summer But then with a more thoughtful air and lowered voice there is no saying what it may lead to {para} Fanny 's heart beat quick and she felt quite unequal to surmising or soliciting anything more Miss Crawford however with renewed animation soon went on {para} I am conscious of being far better reconciled to a country residence than I had ever expected to be I can even suppose it pleasant to spend half the year in the country under certain circumstances very pleasant An elegant moderate sized house in the centre of family connexions continual engagements among them commanding the first society in the neighbourhood looked up to perhaps as leading it even more than those of larger fortune and turning from the cheerful round of such amusements to nothing worse than a tete a tete with the person one feels most agreeable in the world There is nothing frightful in such a picture is there Miss Price One need not envy the new Mrs Rushworth with such a home as that Envy Mrs Rushworth was all that Fanny attempted to say Come come it would be very un handsome in us to be severe on Mrs Rushworth for I look forward to our owing her a great many gay brilliant happy hours I expect we shall be all very much at Sotherton another year Such a match as Miss Bertram has made is a public blessing for the first pleasures of Mr Rushworth 's wife must be to fill her house and give the best balls in the country {para} Fanny was silent and Miss Crawford relapsed into thoughtfulness till suddenly looking up at the end of a few minutes she exclaimed Ah here he is It was not Mr Rushworth however but Edmund who then appeared walking towards them with Mrs Grant My sister and Mr Bertram I am so glad your eldest cousin is gone that he may be Mr Bertram again There is something in the sound of Mr Edmund Bertram so formal so pitiful so younger brother like that I detest it {para} How differently we feel cried Fanny To me the sound of Mr Bertram is so cold and nothing meaning so entirely without warmth or character It just stands for a gentleman and that 's all But there is nobleness in the name of Edmund It is a name of heroism and renown of kings princes and knights and seems to breathe the spirit of chivalry and warm affections {para} I grant you the name is good in itself and Lord Edmund or Sir Edmund sound delightfully but sink it under the chill the annihilation of a Mr and Mr Edmund is no more than Mr John or Mr Thomas Well shall we join and disappoint them of half their lecture upon sitting down out of doors at this time of year by being up before they can begin {para} Edmund met them with particular pleasure It was the first time of his seeing them together since the beginning of that better acquaintance which he had been hearing of with great satisfaction A friendship between two so very dear to him was exactly what he could have wished and to the credit of the lover 's understanding be it stated that he did not by any means consider Fanny as the only or even as the greater gainer by such a friendship {para} Well said Miss Crawford and do you not scold us for our imprudence What do you think we have been sitting down for but to be talked to about it and entreated and supplicated never to do so again {para} Perhaps I might have scolded said Edmund if either of you had been sitting down alone but while you do wrong together I can overlook a great deal {para} They cannot have been sitting long cried Mrs Grant for when I went up for my shawl I saw them from the staircase window and then they were walking {para} And really added Edmund the day is so mild that your sitting down for a few minutes can be hardly thought imprudent Our weather must not always be judged by the calendar We may sometimes take greater liberties in November than in May {para} Upon my word cried Miss Crawford you are two of the most disappointing and unfeeling kind friends I ever met with There is no giving you a moment 's uneasiness You do not know how much we have been suffering nor what chills we have felt But I have long thought Mr Bertram one of the worst subjects to work on in any little manoeuvre against common sense that a woman could be plagued with I had very little hope of him from the first but you Mrs Grant my sister my own sister I think I had a right to alarm you a little {para} Do not flatter yourself my dearest Mary You have not the smallest chance of moving me I have my alarms but they are quite in a different quarter and if I could have altered the weather you would have had a good sharp east wind blowing on you the whole time for here are some of my plants which Robert will leave out because the nights are so mild and I know the end of it will be that we shall have a sudden change of weather a hard frost setting in all at once taking everybody at least Robert by surprise and I shall lose every one and what is worse cook has just been telling me that the turkey which I particularly wished not to be dressed till Sunday because I know how much more Dr Grant would enjoy it on Sunday after the fatigues of the day will not keep beyond to morrow These are something like grievances and make me think the weather most unseasonably close {para} The sweets of housekeeping in a country village said Miss Crawford archly Commend me to the nurseryman and the poulterer {para} My dear child commend Dr Grant to the deanery of Westminster or St Paul 's and I should be as glad of your nurseryman and poulterer as you could be But we have no such people in Mansfield What would you have me do {para} Oh you can do nothing but what you do already be plagued very often and never lose your temper {para} Thank you but there is no escaping these little vexations Mary live where we may and when you are settled in town and I come to see you I dare say I shall find you with yours in spite of the nurseryman and the poulterer perhaps on their very account Their remoteness and unpunctuality or their exorbitant charges and frauds will be drawing forth bitter lamentations {para} I mean to be too rich to lament or to feel anything of the sort A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of It certainly may secure all the myrtle and turkey part of it {para} You intend to be very rich said Edmund with a look which to Fanny 's eye had a great deal of serious meaning {para} To be sure Do not you Do not we all {para} I cannot intend anything which it must be so completely beyond my power to command Miss Crawford may chuse her degree of wealth She has only to fix on her number of thousands a year and there can be no doubt of their coming My intentions are only not to be poor {para} By moderation and economy and bringing down your wants to your income and all that I understand you and a very proper plan it is for a person at your time of life with such limited means and indifferent connexions What can you want but a decent maintenance You have not much time before you and your relations are in no situation to do anything for you or to mortify you by the contrast of their own wealth and consequence Be honest and poor by all means but I shall not envy you I do not much think I shall even respect you I have a much greater respect for those that are honest and rich {para} Your degree of respect for honesty rich or poor is precisely what I have no manner of concern with I do not mean to be poor Poverty is exactly what I have determined against Honesty in the something between in the middle state of worldly circumstances is all that I am anxious for your not looking down on {para} But I do look down upon it if it might have been higher I must look down upon anything contented with obscurity when it might rise to distinction {para} But how may it rise How may my honesty at least rise to any distinction {para} This was not so very easy a question to answer and occasioned an Oh of some length from the fair lady before she could add You ought to be in parliament or you should have gone into the army ten years ago {para} That is not much to the purpose now and as to my being in parliament I believe I must wait till there is an especial assembly for the representation of younger sons who have little to live on No Miss Crawford he added in a more serious tone there are distinctions which I should be miserable if I thought myself without any chance absolutely without chance or possibility of obtaining but they are of a different character {para} A look of consciousness as he spoke and what seemed a consciousness of manner on Miss Crawford 's side as she made some laughing answer was sorrowfull food for Fanny 's observation and finding herself quite unable to attend as she ought to Mrs Grant by whose side she was now following the others she had nearly resolved on going home immediately and only waited for courage to say so when the sound of the great clock at Mansfield Park striking three made her feel that she had really been much longer absent than usual and brought the previous self inquiry of whether she should take leave or not just then and how to a very speedy issue With undoubting decision she directly began her adieus and Edmund began at the same time to recollect that his mother had been inquiring for her and that he had walked down to the Parsonage on purpose to bring her back {para} Fanny 's hurry increased and without in the least expecting Edmund 's attendance she would have hastened away alone but the general pace was quickened and they all accompanied her into the house through which it was necessary to pass Dr Grant was in the vestibule and as they stopt to speak to him she found from Edmund 's manner that he did mean to go with her He too was taking leave She could not but be thankful In the moment of parting Edmund was invited by Dr Grant to eat his mutton with him the next day and Fanny had barely time for an unpleasant feeling on the occasion when Mrs Grant with sudden recollection turned to her and asked for the pleasure of her company too This was so new an attention so perfectly new a circumstance in the events of Fanny 's life that she was all surprise and embarrassment and while stammering out her great obligation and her but she did not suppose it would be in her power was looking at Edmund for his opinion and help But Edmund delighted with her having such an happiness offered and ascertaining with half a look and half a sentence that she had no objection but on her aunt 's account could not imagine that his mother would make any difficulty of sparing her and therefore gave his decided open advice that the invitation should be accepted and though Fanny would not venture even on his encouragement to such a flight of audacious independence it was soon settled that if nothing were heard to the contrary Mrs Grant might expect her {para} And you know what your dinner will be said Mrs Grant smiling the turkey and I assure you a very fine one for my dear turning to her husband cook insists upon the turkey 's being dressed to morrow {para} Very well very well cried Dr Grant all the better I am glad to hear you have anything so good in the house But Miss Price and Mr Edmund Bertram I dare say would take their chance We none of us want to hear the bill of fare A friendly meeting and not a fine dinner is all we have in view A turkey or a goose or a leg of mutton or whatever you and your cook chuse to give us {para} The two cousins walked home together and except in the immediate discussion of this engagement which Edmund spoke of with the warmest satisfaction as so particularly desirable for her in the intimacy which he saw with so much pleasure established it was a silent walk for having finished that subject he grew thoughtful and indisposed for any other {para} CHAPTER XXIII {para} But why should Mrs Grant ask Fanny said Lady Bertram How came she to think of asking Fanny Fanny never dines there you know in this sort of way I cannot spare her and I am sure she does not want to go Fanny you do not want to go do you {para} If you put such a question to her cried Edmund preventing his cousin 's speaking Fanny will immediately say No but I am sure my dear mother she would like to go and I can see no reason why she should not {para} I cannot imagine why Mrs Grant should think of asking her She never did before She used to ask your sisters now and then but she never asked Fanny {para} If you cannot do without me ma'am said Fanny in a self denying tone {para} But my mother will have my father with her all the evening {para} To be sure so I shall {para} Suppose you take my father 's opinion ma'am {para} That 's well thought of So I will Edmund I will ask Sir Thomas as soon as he comes in whether I can do without her {para} As you please ma'am on that head but I meant my father 's opinion as to the propriety of the invitation 's being accepted or not and I think he will consider it a right thing by Mrs Grant as well as by Fanny that being the first invitation it should be accepted {para} I do not know We will ask him But he will be very much surprised that Mrs Grant should ask Fanny at all {para} There was nothing more to be said or that could be said to any purpose till Sir Thomas were present but the subject involving as it did her own evening 's comfort for the morrow was so much uppermost in Lady Bertram 's mind that half an hour afterwards on his looking in for a minute in his way from his plantation to his dressing room she called him back again when he had almost closed the door with Sir Thomas stop a moment I have something to say to you {para} Her tone of calm languor for she never took the trouble of raising her voice was always heard and attended to and Sir Thomas came back Her story began and Fanny immediately slipped out of the room for to hear herself the subject of any discussion with her uncle was more than her nerves could bear She was anxious she knew more anxious perhaps than she ought to be for what was it after all whether she went or staid but if her uncle were to be a great while considering and deciding and with very grave looks and those grave looks directed to her and at last decide against her she might not be able to appear properly submissive and indifferent Her cause meanwhile went on well It began on Lady Bertram 's part with I have something to tell you that will surprise you Mrs Grant has asked Fanny to dinner {para} Well said Sir Thomas as if waiting more to accomplish the surprise {para} Edmund wants her to go But how can I spare her {para} She will be late said Sir Thomas taking out his watch but what is your difficulty {para} Edmund found himself obliged to speak and fill up the blanks in his mother 's story He told the whole and she had only to add So strange for Mrs Grant never used to ask her {para} But is it not very natural observed Edmund that Mrs Grant should wish to procure so agreeable a visitor for her sister {para} Nothing can be more natural said Sir Thomas after a short deliberation nor were there no sister in the case could anything in my opinion be more natural Mrs Grant 's shewing civility to Miss Price to Lady Bertram 's niece could never want explanation The only surprise I can feel is that this should be the first time of its being paid Fanny was perfectly right in giving only a conditional answer She appears to feel as she ought But as I conclude that she must wish to go since all young people like to be together I can see no reason why she should be denied the indulgence {para} But can I do without her Sir Thomas {para} Indeed I think you may {para} She always makes tea you know when my sister is not here {para} Your sister perhaps may be prevailed on to spend the day with us and I shall certainly be at home {para} Very well then Fanny may go Edmund {para} The good news soon followed her Edmund knocked at her door in his way to his own {para} Well Fanny it is all happily settled and without the smallest hesitation on your uncle 's side He had but one opinion You are to go {para} Thank you I am so glad was Fanny 's instinctive reply though when she had turned from him and shut the door she could not help feeling And yet why should I be glad for am I not certain of seeing or hearing something there to pain me {para} In spite of this conviction however she was glad Simple as such an engagement might appear in other eyes it had novelty and importance in hers for excepting the day at Sotherton she had scarcely ever dined out before and though now going only half a mile and only to three people still it was dining out and all the little interests of preparation were enjoyments in themselves She had neither sympathy nor assistance from those who ought to have entered into her feelings and directed her taste for Lady Bertram never thought of being useful to anybody and Mrs Norris when she came on the morrow in consequence of an early call and invitation from Sir Thomas was in a very ill humour and seemed intent only on lessening her niece 's pleasure both present and future as much as possible {para} Upon my word Fanny you are in high luck to meet with such attention and indulgence You ought to be very much obliged to Mrs Grant for thinking of you and to your aunt for letting you go and you ought to look upon it as something extraordinary for I hope you are aware that there is no real occasion for your going into company in this sort of way or ever dining out at all and it is what you must not depend upon ever being repeated Nor must you be fancying that the invitation is meant as any particular compliment to you the compliment is intended to your uncle and aunt and me Mrs Grant thinks it a civility due to us to take a little notice of you or else it would never have come into her head and you may be very certain that if your cousin Julia had been at home you would not have been asked at all {para} Mrs Norris had now so ingeniously done away all Mrs Grant 's part of the favour that Fanny who found herself expected to speak could only say that she was very much obliged to her aunt Bertram for sparing her and that she was endeavouring to put her aunt 's evening work in such a state as to prevent her being missed {para} Oh depend upon it your aunt can do very well without you or you would not be allowed to go I shall be here so you may be quite easy about your aunt And I hope you will have a very agreeable day and find it all mighty delightful But I must observe that five is the very awkwardest of all possible numbers to sit down to table and I cannot but be surprised that such an elegant lady as Mrs Grant should not contrive better And round their enormous great wide table too which fills up the room so dreadfully Had the doctor been contented to take my dining table when I came away as anybody in their senses would have done instead of having that absurd new one of his own which is wider literally wider than the dinner table here how infinitely better it would have been and how much more he would have been respected for people are never respected when they step out of their proper sphere Remember that Fanny Five only five to be sitting round that table However you will have dinner enough on it for ten I dare say {para} Mrs Norris fetched breath and went on again {para} The nonsense and folly of people 's stepping out of their rank and trying to appear above themselves makes me think it right to give you a hint Fanny now that you are going into company without any of us and I do beseech and entreat you not to be putting yourself forward and talking and giving your opinion as if you were one of your cousins as if you were dear Mrs Rushworth or Julia That will never do believe me Remember wherever you are you must be the lowest and last and though Miss Crawford is in a manner at home at the Parsonage you are not to be taking place of her And as to coming away at night you are to stay just as long as Edmund chuses Leave him to settle that {para} Yes ma'am I should not think of anything else {para} And if it should rain which I think exceedingly likely for I never saw it more threatening for a wet evening in my life you must manage as well as you can and not be expecting the carriage to be sent for you I certainly do not go home to night and therefore the carriage will not be out on my account so you must make up your mind to what may happen and take your things accordingly {para} Her niece thought it perfectly reasonable She rated her own claims to comfort as low even as Mrs Norris could and when Sir Thomas soon afterwards just opening the door said Fanny at what time would you have the carriage come round she felt a degree of astonishment which made it impossible for her to speak {para} My dear Sir Thomas cried Mrs Norris red with anger Fanny can walk {para} Walk repeated Sir Thomas in a tone of most unanswerable dignity and coming farther into the room My niece walk to a dinner engagement at this time of the year Will twenty minutes after four suit you {para} Yes sir was Fanny 's humble answer given with the feelings almost of a criminal towards Mrs Norris and not bearing to remain with her in what might seem a state of triumph she followed her uncle out of the room having staid behind him only long enough to hear these words spoken in angry agitation {para} Quite unnecessary a great deal too kind But Edmund goes true it is upon Edmund 's account I observed he was hoarse on Thursday night {para} But this could not impose on Fanny She felt that the carriage was for herself and herself alone and her uncle 's consideration of her coming immediately after such representations from her aunt cost her some tears of gratitude when she was alone {para} The coachman drove round to a minute another minute brought down the gentleman and as the lady had with a most scrupulous fear of being late been many minutes seated in the drawing room Sir Thomas saw them off in as good time as his own correctly punctual habits required {para} Now I must look at you Fanny said Edmund with the kind smile of an affectionate brother and tell you how I like you and as well as I can judge by this light you look very nicely indeed What have you got on {para} The new dress that my uncle was so good as to give me on my cousin 's marriage I hope it is not too fine but I thought I ought to wear it as soon as I could and that I might not have such another opportunity all the winter I hope you do not think me too fine {para} A woman can never be too fine while she is all in white No I see no finery about you nothing but what is perfectly proper Your gown seems very pretty I like these glossy spots Has not Miss Crawford a gown something the same {para} In approaching the Parsonage they passed close by the stable yard and coach house {para} Heyday said Edmund here 's company here 's a carriage who have they got to meet us And letting down the side glass to distinguish Tis Crawford 's Crawford 's barouche I protest There are his own two men pushing it back into its old quarters He is here of course This is quite a surprise Fanny I shall be very glad to see him {para} There was no occasion there was no time for Fanny to say how very differently she felt but the idea of having such another to observe her was a great increase of the trepidation with which she performed the very awful ceremony of walking into the drawing room {para} In the drawing room Mr Crawford certainly was having been just long enough arrived to be ready for dinner and the smiles and pleased looks of the three others standing round him shewed how welcome was his sudden resolution of coming to them for a few days on leaving Bath A very cordial meeting passed between him and Edmund and with the exception of Fanny the pleasure was general and even to her there might be some advantage in his presence since every addition to the party must rather forward her favourite indulgence of being suffered to sit silent and unattended to She was soon aware of this herself for though she must submit as her own propriety of mind directed in spite of her aunt Norris 's opinion to being the principal lady in company and to all the little distinctions consequent thereon she found while they were at table such a happy flow of conversation prevailing in which she was not required to take any part there was so much to be said between the brother and sister about Bath so much between the two young men about hunting so much of politics between Mr Crawford and Dr Grant and of everything and all together between Mr Crawford and Mrs Grant as to leave her the fairest prospect of having only to listen in quiet and of passing a very agreeable day She could not compliment the newly arrived gentleman however with any appearance of interest in a scheme for extending his stay at Mansfield and sending for his hunters from Norfolk which suggested by Dr Grant advised by Edmund and warmly urged by the two sisters was soon in possession of his mind and which he seemed to want to be encouraged even by her to resolve on Her opinion was sought as to the probable continuance of the open weather but her answers were as short and indifferent as civility allowed She could not wish him to stay and would much rather not have him speak to her {para} Her two absent cousins especially Maria were much in her thoughts on seeing him but no embarrassing remembrance affected his spirits Here he was again on the same ground where all had passed before and apparently as willing to stay and be happy without the Miss Bertrams as if he had never known Mansfield in any other state She heard them spoken of by him only in a general way till they were all re assembled in the drawing room when Edmund being engaged apart in some matter of business with Dr Grant which seemed entirely to engross them and Mrs Grant occupied at the tea table he began talking of them with more particularity to his other sister With a significant smile which made Fanny quite hate him he said So Rushworth and his fair bride are at Brighton I understand happy man {para} Yes they have been there about a fortnight Miss Price have they not And Julia is with them {para} And Mr Yates I presume is not far off {para} Mr Yates Oh we hear nothing of Mr Yates I do not imagine he figures much in the letters to Mansfield Park do you Miss Price I think my friend Julia knows better than to entertain her father with Mr Yates {para} Poor Rushworth and his two and forty speeches continued Crawford Nobody can ever forget them Poor fellow I see him now his toil and his despair Well I am much mistaken if his lovely Maria will ever want him to make two and forty speeches to her adding with a momentary seriousness She is too good for him much too good And then changing his tone again to one of gentle gallantry and addressing Fanny he said You were Mr Rushworth 's best friend Your kindness and patience can never be forgotten your indefatigable patience in trying to make it possible for him to learn his part in trying to give him a brain which nature had denied to mix up an understanding for him out of the superfluity of your own He might not have sense enough himself to estimate your kindness but I may venture to say that it had honour from all the rest of the party {para} Fanny coloured and said nothing {para} It is as a dream a pleasant dream he exclaimed breaking forth again after a few minutes musing I shall always look back on our theatricals with exquisite pleasure There was such an interest such an animation such a spirit diffused Everybody felt it We were all alive There was employment hope solicitude bustle for every hour of the day Always some little objection some little doubt some little anxiety to be got over I never was happier {para} With silent indignation Fanny repeated to herself Never happier never happier than when doing what you must know was not justifiable never happier than when behaving so dishonourably and unfeelingly Oh what a corrupted mind {para} We were unlucky Miss Price he continued in a lower tone to avoid the possibility of being heard by Edmund and not at all aware of her feelings we certainly were very unlucky Another week only one other week would have been enough for us I think if we had had the disposal of events if Mansfield Park had had the government of the winds just for a week or two about the equinox there would have been a difference Not that we would have endangered his safety by any tremendous weather but only by a steady contrary wind or a calm I think Miss Price we would have indulged ourselves with a week 's calm in the Atlantic at that season {para} He seemed determined to be answered and Fanny averting her face said with a firmer tone than usual As far as I am concerned sir I would not have delayed his return for a day My uncle disapproved it all so entirely when he did arrive that in my opinion everything had gone quite far enough {para} She had never spoken so much at once to him in her life before and never so angrily to any one and when her speech was over she trembled and blushed at her own daring He was surprised but after a few moments silent consideration of her replied in a calmer graver tone and as if the candid result of conviction I believe you are right It was more pleasant than prudent We were getting too noisy And then turning the conversation he would have engaged her on some other subject but her answers were so shy and reluctant that he could not advance in any {para} Miss Crawford who had been repeatedly eyeing Dr Grant and Edmund now observed Those gentlemen must have some very interesting point to discuss {para} The most interesting in the world replied her brother how to make money how to turn a good income into a better Dr Grant is giving Bertram instructions about the living he is to step into so soon I find he takes orders in a few weeks They were at it in the dining parlour I am glad to hear Bertram will be so well off He will have a very pretty income to make ducks and drakes with and earned without much trouble I apprehend he will not have less than seven hundred a year Seven hundred a year is a fine thing for a younger brother and as of course he will still live at home it will be all for his menus plaisirs and a sermon at Christmas and Easter I suppose will be the sum total of sacrifice {para} His sister tried to laugh off her feelings by saying Nothing amuses me more than the easy manner with which everybody settles the abundance of those who have a great deal less than themselves You would look rather blank Henry if your menus plaisirs were to be limited to seven hundred a year {para} Perhaps I might but all that you know is entirely comparative Birthright and habit must settle the business Bertram is certainly well off for a cadet of even a baronet 's family By the time he is four or five and twenty he will have seven hundred a year and nothing to do for it {para} Miss Crawford could have said that there would be a something to do and to suffer for it which she could not think lightly of but she checked herself and let it pass and tried to look calm and unconcerned when the two gentlemen shortly afterwards joined them {para} Bertram said Henry Crawford I shall make a point of coming to Mansfield to hear you preach your first sermon I shall come on purpose to encourage a young beginner When is it to be Miss Price will not you join me in encouraging your cousin Will not you engage to attend with your eyes steadily fixed on him the whole time as I shall do not to lose a word or only looking off just to note down any sentence preeminently beautiful We will provide ourselves with tablets and a pencil When will it be You must preach at Mansfield you know that Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram may hear you {para} I shall keep clear of you Crawford as long as I can said Edmund for you would be more likely to disconcert me and I should be more sorry to see you trying at it than almost any other man {para} Will he not feel this thought Fanny No he can feel nothing as he ought {para} The party being now all united and the chief talkers attracting each other she remained in tranquillity and as a whist table was formed after tea formed really for the amusement of Dr Grant by his attentive wife though it was not to be supposed so and Miss Crawford took her harp she had nothing to do but to listen and her tranquillity remained undisturbed the rest of the evening except when Mr Crawford now and then addressed to her a question or observation which she could not avoid answering Miss Crawford was too much vexed by what had passed to be in a humour for anything but music With that she soothed herself and amused her friend {para} The assurance of Edmund 's being so soon to take orders coming upon her like a blow that had been suspended and still hoped uncertain and at a distance was felt with resentment and mortification She was very angry with him She had thought her influence more She had begun to think of him she felt that she had with great regard with almost decided intentions but she would now meet him with his own cool feelings It was plain that he could have no serious views no true attachment by fixing himself in a situation which he must know she would never stoop to She would learn to match him in his indifference She would henceforth admit his attentions without any idea beyond immediate amusement If he could so command his affections hers should do her no harm {para} CHAPTER XXIV {para} Henry Crawford had quite made up his mind by the next morning to give another fortnight to Mansfield and having sent for his hunters and written a few lines of explanation to the Admiral he looked round at his sister as he sealed and threw the letter from him and seeing the coast clear of the rest of the family said with a smile And how do you think I mean to amuse myself Mary on the days that I do not hunt I am grown too old to go out more than three times a week but I have a plan for the intermediate days and what do you think it is {para} To walk and ride with me to be sure {para} Not exactly though I shall be happy to do both but that would be exercise only to my body and I must take care of my mind Besides that would be all recreation and indulgence without the wholesome alloy of labour and I do not like to eat the bread of idleness No my plan is to make Fanny Price in love with me {para} Fanny Price Nonsense No no You ought to be satisfied with her two cousins {para} But I cannot be satisfied without Fanny Price without making a small hole in Fanny Price 's heart You do not seem properly aware of her claims to notice When we talked of her last night you none of you seemed sensible of the wonderful improvement that has taken place in her looks within the last six weeks You see her every day and therefore do not notice it but I assure you she is quite a different creature from what she was in the autumn She was then merely a quiet modest not plain looking girl but she is now absolutely pretty I used to think she had neither complexion nor countenance but in that soft skin of hers so frequently tinged with a blush as it was yesterday there is decided beauty and from what I observed of her eyes and mouth I do not despair of their being capable of expression enough when she has anything to express And then her air her manner her tout ensemble is so indescribably improved She must be grown two inches at least since October {para} Phoo phoo This is only because there were no tall women to compare her with and because she has got a new gown and you never saw her so well dressed before She is just what she was in October believe me The truth is that she was the only girl in company for you to notice and you must have a somebody I have always thought her pretty not strikingly pretty but pretty enough as people say a sort of beauty that grows on one Her eyes should be darker but she has a sweet smile but as for this wonderful degree of improvement I am sure it may all be resolved into a better style of dress and your having nobody else to look at and therefore if you do set about a flirtation with her you never will persuade me that it is in compliment to her beauty or that it proceeds from anything but your own idleness and folly {para} Her brother gave only a smile to this accusation and soon afterwards said I do not quite know what to make of Miss Fanny I do not understand her I could not tell what she would be at yesterday What is her character Is she solemn Is she queer Is she prudish Why did she draw back and look so grave at me I could hardly get her to speak I never was so long in company with a girl in my life trying to entertain her and succeed so ill Never met with a girl who looked so grave on me I must try to get the better of this Her looks say I will not like you I am determined not to like you and I say she shall {para} Foolish fellow And so this is her attraction after all This it is her not caring about you which gives her such a soft skin and makes her so much taller and produces all these charms and graces I do desire that you will not be making her really unhappy a little love perhaps may animate and do her good but I will not have you plunge her deep for she is as good a little creature as ever lived and has a great deal of feeling {para} It can be but for a fortnight said Henry and if a fortnight can kill her she must have a constitution which nothing could save No I will not do her any harm dear little soul only want her to look kindly on me to give me smiles as well as blushes to keep a chair for me by herself wherever we are and be all animation when I take it and talk to her to think as I think be interested in all my possessions and pleasures try to keep me longer at Mansfield and feel when I go away that she shall be never happy again I want nothing more {para} Moderation itself said Mary I can have no scruples now Well you will have opportunities enough of endeavouring to recommend yourself for we are a great deal together {para} And without attempting any farther remonstrance she left Fanny to her fate a fate which had not Fanny 's heart been guarded in a way unsuspected by Miss Crawford might have been a little harder than she deserved for although there doubtless are such unconquerable young ladies of eighteen or one should not read about them as are never to be persuaded into love against their judgment by all that talent manner attention and flattery can do I have no inclination to believe Fanny one of them or to think that with so much tenderness of disposition and so much taste as belonged to her she could have escaped heart whole from the courtship though the courtship only of a fortnight of such a man as Crawford in spite of there being some previous ill opinion of him to be overcome had not her affection been engaged elsewhere With all the security which love of another and disesteem of him could give to the peace of mind he was attacking his continued attentions continued but not obtrusive and adapting themselves more and more to the gentleness and delicacy of her character obliged her very soon to dislike him less than formerly She had by no means forgotten the past and she thought as ill of him as ever but she felt his powers he was entertaining and his manners were so improved so polite so seriously and blamelessly polite that it was impossible not to be civil to him in return {para} A very few days were enough to effect this and at the end of those few days circumstances arose which had a tendency rather to forward his views of pleasing her inasmuch as they gave her a degree of happiness which must dispose her to be pleased with everybody William her brother the so long absent and dearly loved brother was in England again She had a letter from him herself a few hurried happy lines written as the ship came up Channel and sent into Portsmouth with the first boat that left the Antwerp at anchor in Spithead and when Crawford walked up with the newspaper in his hand which he had hoped would bring the first tidings he found her trembling with joy over this letter and listening with a glowing grateful countenance to the kind invitation which her uncle was most collectedly dictating in reply {para} It was but the day before that Crawford had made himself thoroughly master of the subject or had in fact become at all aware of her having such a brother or his being in such a ship but the interest then excited had been very properly lively determining him on his return to town to apply for information as to the probable period of the Antwerp 's return from the Mediterranean etc and the good luck which attended his early examination of ship news the next morning seemed the reward of his ingenuity in finding out such a method of pleasing her as well as of his dutiful attention to the Admiral in having for many years taken in the paper esteemed to have the earliest naval intelligence He proved however to be too late All those fine first feelings of which he had hoped to be the exciter were already given But his intention the kindness of his intention was thankfully acknowledged quite thankfully and warmly for she was elevated beyond the common timidity of her mind by the flow of her love for William {para} This dear William would soon be amongst them There could be no doubt of his obtaining leave of absence immediately for he was still only a midshipman and as his parents from living on the spot must already have seen him and be seeing him perhaps daily his direct holidays might with justice be instantly given to the sister who had been his best correspondent through a period of seven years and the uncle who had done most for his support and advancement and accordingly the reply to her reply fixing a very early day for his arrival came as soon as possible and scarcely ten days had passed since Fanny had been in the agitation of her first dinner visit when she found herself in an agitation of a higher nature watching in the hall in the lobby on the stairs for the first sound of the carriage which was to bring her a brother {para} It came happily while she was thus waiting and there being neither ceremony nor fearfulness to delay the moment of meeting she was with him as he entered the house and the first minutes of exquisite feeling had no interruption and no witnesses unless the servants chiefly intent upon opening the proper doors could be called such This was exactly what Sir Thomas and Edmund had been separately conniving at as each proved to the other by the sympathetic alacrity with which they both advised Mrs Norris 's continuing where she was instead of rushing out into the hall as soon as the noises of the arrival reached them {para} William and Fanny soon shewed themselves and Sir Thomas had the pleasure of receiving in his protege certainly a very different person from the one he had equipped seven years ago but a young man of an open pleasant countenance and frank unstudied but feeling and respectful manners and such as confirmed him his friend {para} It was long before Fanny could recover from the agitating happiness of such an hour as was formed by the last thirty minutes of expectation and the first of fruition it was some time even before her happiness could be said to make her happy before the disappointment inseparable from the alteration of person had vanished and she could see in him the same William as before and talk to him as her heart had been yearning to do through many a past year That time however did gradually come forwarded by an affection on his side as warm as her own and much less encumbered by refinement or self distrust She was the first object of his love but it was a love which his stronger spirits and bolder temper made it as natural for him to express as to feel On the morrow they were walking about together with true enjoyment and every succeeding morrow renewed a tete a tete which Sir Thomas could not but observe with complacency even before Edmund had pointed it out to him {para} Excepting the moments of peculiar delight which any marked or unlooked for instance of Edmund 's consideration of her in the last few months had excited Fanny had never known so much felicity in her life as in this unchecked equal fearless intercourse with the brother and friend who was opening all his heart to her telling her all his hopes and fears plans and solicitudes respecting that long thought of dearly earned and justly valued blessing of promotion who could give her direct and minute information of the father and mother brothers and sisters of whom she very seldom heard who was interested in all the comforts and all the little hardships of her home at Mansfield ready to think of every member of that home as she directed or differing only by a less scrupulous opinion and more noisy abuse of their aunt Norris and with whom perhaps the dearest indulgence of the whole all the evil and good of their earliest years could be gone over again and every former united pain and pleasure retraced with the fondest recollection An advantage this a strengthener of love in which even the conjugal tie is beneath the fraternal Children of the same family the same blood with the same first associations and habits have some means of enjoyment in their power which no subsequent connexions can supply and it must be by a long and unnatural estrangement by a divorce which no subsequent connexion can justify if such precious remains of the earliest attachments are ever entirely outlived Too often alas it is so Fraternal love sometimes almost everything is at others worse than nothing But with William and Fanny Price it was still a sentiment in all its prime and freshness wounded by no opposition of interest cooled by no separate attachment and feeling the influence of time and absence only in its increase {para} An affection so amiable was advancing each in the opinion of all who had hearts to value anything good Henry Crawford was as much struck with it as any He honoured the warm hearted blunt fondness of the young sailor which led him to say with his hands stretched towards Fanny 's head Do you know I begin to like that queer fashion already though when I first heard of such things being done in England I could not believe it and when Mrs Brown and the other women at the Commissioner 's at Gibraltar appeared in the same trim I thought they were mad but Fanny can reconcile me to anything and saw with lively admiration the glow of Fanny 's cheek the brightness of her eye the deep interest the absorbed attention while her brother was describing any of the imminent hazards or terrific scenes which such a period at sea must supply {para} It was a picture which Henry Crawford had moral taste enough to value Fanny 's attractions increased increased twofold for the sensibility which beautified her complexion and illumined her countenance was an attraction in itself He was no longer in doubt of the capabilities of her heart She had feeling genuine feeling It would be something to be loved by such a girl to excite the first ardours of her young unsophisticated mind She interested him more than he had foreseen A fortnight was not enough His stay became indefinite {para} William was often called on by his uncle to be the talker His recitals were amusing in themselves to Sir Thomas but the chief object in seeking them was to understand the reciter to know the young man by his histories and he listened to his clear simple spirited details with full satisfaction seeing in them the proof of good principles professional knowledge energy courage and cheerfulness everything that could deserve or promise well Young as he was William had already seen a great deal He had been in the Mediterranean in the West Indies in the Mediterranean again had been often taken on shore by the favour of his captain and in the course of seven years had known every variety of danger which sea and war together could offer With such means in his power he had a right to be listened to and though Mrs Norris could fidget about the room and disturb everybody in quest of two needlefuls of thread or a second hand shirt button in the midst of her nephew 's account of a shipwreck or an engagement everybody else was attentive and even Lady Bertram could not hear of such horrors unmoved or without sometimes lifting her eyes from her work to say Dear me how disagreeable I wonder anybody can ever go to sea {para} To Henry Crawford they gave a different feeling He longed to have been at sea and seen and done and suffered as much His heart was warmed his fancy fired and he felt the highest respect for a lad who before he was twenty had gone through such bodily hardships and given such proofs of mind The glory of heroism of usefulness of exertion of endurance made his own habits of selfish indulgence appear in shameful contrast and he wished he had been a William Price distinguishing himself and working his way to fortune and consequence with so much self respect and happy ardour instead of what he was {para} The wish was rather eager than lasting He was roused from the reverie of retrospection and regret produced by it by some inquiry from Edmund as to his plans for the next day 's hunting and he found it was as well to be a man of fortune at once with horses and grooms at his command In one respect it was better as it gave him the means of conferring a kindness where he wished to oblige With spirits courage and curiosity up to anything William expressed an inclination to hunt and Crawford could mount him without the slightest inconvenience to himself and with only some scruples to obviate in Sir Thomas who knew better than his nephew the value of such a loan and some alarms to reason away in Fanny She feared for William by no means convinced by all that he could relate of his own horsemanship in various countries of the scrambling parties in which he had been engaged the rough horses and mules he had ridden or his many narrow escapes from dreadful falls that he was at all equal to the management of a high fed hunter in an English fox chase nor till he returned safe and well without accident or discredit could she be reconciled to the risk or feel any of that obligation to Mr Crawford for lending the horse which he had fully intended it should produce When it was proved however to have done William no harm she could allow it to be a kindness and even reward the owner with a smile when the animal was one minute tendered to his use again and the next with the greatest cordiality and in a manner not to be resisted made over to his use entirely so long as he remained in Northamptonshire {para} [ End volume one of this edition Printed by T and A Constable Printers to Her Majesty at the Edinburgh University Press ] {para} CHAPTER XXV {para} The intercourse of the two families was at this period more nearly restored to what it had been in the autumn than any member of the old intimacy had thought ever likely to be again The return of Henry Crawford and the arrival of William Price had much to do with it but much was still owing to Sir Thomas 's more than toleration of the neighbourly attempts at the Parsonage His mind now disengaged from the cares which had pressed on him at first was at leisure to find the Grants and their young inmates really worth visiting and though infinitely above scheming or contriving for any the most advantageous matrimonial establishment that could be among the apparent possibilities of any one most dear to him and disdaining even as a littleness the being quick sighted on such points he could not avoid perceiving in a grand and careless way that Mr Crawford was somewhat distinguishing his niece nor perhaps refrain though unconsciously from giving a more willing assent to invitations on that account {para} His readiness however in agreeing to dine at the Parsonage when the general invitation was at last hazarded after many debates and many doubts as to whether it were worth while because Sir Thomas seemed so ill inclined and Lady Bertram was so indolent proceeded from good breeding and goodwill alone and had nothing to do with Mr Crawford but as being one in an agreeable group for it was in the course of that very visit that he first began to think that any one in the habit of such idle observations would have thought that Mr Crawford was the admirer of Fanny Price {para} The meeting was generally felt to be a pleasant one being composed in a good proportion of those who would talk and those who would listen and the dinner itself was elegant and plentiful according to the usual style of the Grants and too much according to the usual habits of all to raise any emotion except in Mrs Norris who could never behold either the wide table or the number of dishes on it with patience and who did always contrive to experience some evil from the passing of the servants behind her chair and to bring away some fresh conviction of its being impossible among so many dishes but that some must be cold {para} In the evening it was found according to the predetermination of Mrs Grant and her sister that after making up the whist table there would remain sufficient for a round game and everybody being as perfectly complying and without a choice as on such occasions they always are speculation was decided on almost as soon as whist and Lady Bertram soon found herself in the critical situation of being applied to for her own choice between the games and being required either to draw a card for whist or not She hesitated Luckily Sir Thomas was at hand {para} What shall I do Sir Thomas Whist and speculation which will amuse me most {para} Sir Thomas after a moment 's thought recommended speculation He was a whist player himself and perhaps might feel that it would not much amuse him to have her for a partner {para} Very well was her ladyship 's contented answer then speculation if you please Mrs Grant I know nothing about it but Fanny must teach me {para} Here Fanny interposed however with anxious protestations of her own equal ignorance she had never played the game nor seen it played in her life and Lady Bertram felt a moment 's indecision again but upon everybody 's assuring her that nothing could be so easy that it was the easiest game on the cards and Henry Crawford 's stepping forward with a most earnest request to be allowed to sit between her ladyship and Miss Price and teach them both it was so settled and Sir Thomas Mrs Norris and Dr and Mrs Grant being seated at the table of prime intellectual state and dignity the remaining six under Miss Crawford 's direction were arranged round the other It was a fine arrangement for Henry Crawford who was close to Fanny and with his hands full of business having two persons cards to manage as well as his own for though it was impossible for Fanny not to feel herself mistress of the rules of the game in three minutes he had yet to inspirit her play sharpen her avarice and harden her heart which especially in any competition with William was a work of some difficulty and as for Lady Bertram he must continue in charge of all her fame and fortune through the whole evening and if quick enough to keep her from looking at her cards when the deal began must direct her in whatever was to be done with them to the end of it {para} He was in high spirits doing everything with happy ease and preeminent in all the lively turns quick resources and playful impudence that could do honour to the game and the round table was altogether a very comfortable contrast to the steady sobriety and orderly silence of the other {para} Twice had Sir Thomas inquired into the enjoyment and success of his lady but in vain no pause was long enough for the time his measured manner needed and very little of her state could be known till Mrs Grant was able at the end of the first rubber to go to her and pay her compliments {para} I hope your ladyship is pleased with the game {para} Oh dear yes very entertaining indeed A very odd game I do not know what it is all about I am never to see my cards and Mr Crawford does all the rest {para} Bertram said Crawford some time afterwards taking the opportunity of a little languor in the game I have never told you what happened to me yesterday in my ride home They had been hunting together and were in the midst of a good run and at some distance from Mansfield when his horse being found to have flung a shoe Henry Crawford had been obliged to give up and make the best of his way back I told you I lost my way after passing that old farmhouse with the yew trees because I can never bear to ask but I have not told you that with my usual luck for I never do wrong without gaining by it I found myself in due time in the very place which I had a curiosity to see I was suddenly upon turning the corner of a steepish downy field in the midst of a retired little village between gently rising hills a small stream before me to be forded a church standing on a sort of knoll to my right which church was strikingly large and handsome for the place and not a gentleman or half a gentleman 's house to be seen excepting one to be presumed the Parsonage within a stone 's throw of the said knoll and church I found myself in short in Thornton Lacey {para} It sounds like it said Edmund but which way did you turn after passing Sewell 's farm {para} I answer no such irrelevant and insidious questions though were I to answer all that you could put in the course of an hour you would never be able to prove that it was not Thornton Lacey for such it certainly was {para} You inquired then {para} No I never inquire But I told a man mending a hedge that it was Thornton Lacey and he agreed to it {para} You have a good memory I had forgotten having ever told you half so much of the place {para} Thornton Lacey was the name of his impending living as Miss Crawford well knew and her interest in a negotiation for William Price 's knave increased {para} Well continued Edmund and how did you like what you saw {para} Very much indeed You are a lucky fellow There will be work for five summers at least before the place is liveable {para} No no not so bad as that The farmyard must be moved I grant you but I am not aware of anything else The house is by no means bad and when the yard is removed there may be a very tolerable approach to it {para} The farmyard must be cleared away entirely and planted up to shut out the blacksmith 's shop The house must be turned to front the east instead of the north the entrance and principal rooms I mean must be on that side where the view is really very pretty I am sure it may be done And there must be your approach through what is at present the garden You must make a new garden at what is now the back of the house which will be giving it the best aspect in the world sloping to the south east The ground seems precisely formed for it I rode fifty yards up the lane between the church and the house in order to look about me and saw how it might all be Nothing can be easier The meadows beyond what will be the garden as well as what now is sweeping round from the lane I stood in to the north east that is to the principal road through the village must be all laid together of course very pretty meadows they are finely sprinkled with timber They belong to the living I suppose if not you must purchase them Then the stream something must be done with the stream but I could not quite determine what I had two or three ideas {para} And I have two or three ideas also said Edmund and one of them is that very little of your plan for Thornton Lacey will ever be put in practice I must be satisfied with rather less ornament and beauty I think the house and premises may be made comfortable and given the air of a gentleman 's residence without any very heavy expense and that must suffice me and I hope may suffice all who care about me {para} Miss Crawford a little suspicious and resentful of a certain tone of voice and a certain half look attending the last expression of his hope made a hasty finish of her dealings with William Price and securing his knave at an exorbitant rate exclaimed There I will stake my last like a woman of spirit No cold prudence for me I am not born to sit still and do nothing If I lose the game it shall not be from not striving for it {para} The game was hers and only did not pay her for what she had given to secure it Another deal proceeded and Crawford began again about Thornton Lacey {para} My plan may not be the best possible I had not many minutes to form it in but you must do a good deal The place deserves it and you will find yourself not satisfied with much less than it is capable of Excuse me your ladyship must not see your cards There let them lie just before you The place deserves it Bertram You talk of giving it the air of a gentleman 's residence That will be done by the removal of the farmyard for independent of that terrible nuisance I never saw a house of the kind which had in itself so much the air of a gentleman 's residence so much the look of a something above a mere parsonage house above the expenditure of a few hundreds a year It is not a scrambling collection of low single rooms with as many roofs as windows it is not cramped into the vulgar compactness of a square farmhouse it is a solid roomy mansion like looking house such as one might suppose a respectable old country family had lived in from generation to generation through two centuries at least and were now spending from two to three thousand a year in Miss Crawford listened and Edmund agreed to this The air of a gentleman 's residence therefore you cannot but give it if you do anything But it is capable of much more Let me see Mary Lady Bertram bids a dozen for that queen no no a dozen is more than it is worth Lady Bertram does not bid a dozen She will have nothing to say to it Go on go on By some such improvements as I have suggested I do not really require you to proceed upon my plan though by the bye I doubt anybody 's striking out a better you may give it a higher character You may raise it into a place From being the mere gentleman 's residence it becomes by judicious improvement the residence of a man of education taste modern manners good connexions All this may be stamped on it and that house receive such an air as to make its owner be set down as the great landholder of the parish by every creature travelling the road especially as there is no real squire 's house to dispute the point a circumstance between ourselves to enhance the value of such a situation in point of privilege and independence beyond all calculation You think with me I hope turning with a softened voice to Fanny Have you ever seen the place {para} Fanny gave a quick negative and tried to hide her interest in the subject by an eager attention to her brother who was driving as hard a bargain and imposing on her as much as he could but Crawford pursued with No no you must not part with the queen You have bought her too dearly and your brother does not offer half her value No no sir hands off hands off Your sister does not part with the queen She is quite determined The game will be yours turning to her again it will certainly be yours {para} And Fanny had much rather it were William 's said Edmund smiling at her Poor Fanny not allowed to cheat herself as she wishes {para} Mr Bertram said Miss Crawford a few minutes afterwards you know Henry to be such a capital improver that you cannot possibly engage in anything of the sort at Thornton Lacey without accepting his help Only think how useful he was at Sotherton Only think what grand things were produced there by our all going with him one hot day in August to drive about the grounds and see his genius take fire There we went and there we came home again and what was done there is not to be told {para} Fanny 's eyes were turned on Crawford for a moment with an expression more than grave even reproachful but on catching his were instantly withdrawn With something of consciousness he shook his head at his sister and laughingly replied I cannot say there was much done at Sotherton but it was a hot day and we were all walking after each other and bewildered As soon as a general buzz gave him shelter he added in a low voice directed solely at Fanny I should be sorry to have my powers of planning judged of by the day at Sotherton I see things very differently now Do not think of me as I appeared then {para} Sotherton was a word to catch Mrs Norris and being just then in the happy leisure which followed securing the odd trick by Sir Thomas 's capital play and her own against Dr and Mrs Grant 's great hands she called out in high good humour Sotherton Yes that is a place indeed and we had a charming day there William you are quite out of luck but the next time you come I hope dear Mr and Mrs Rushworth will be at home and I am sure I can answer for your being kindly received by both Your cousins are not of a sort to forget their relations and Mr Rushworth is a most amiable man They are at Brighton now you know in one of the best houses there as Mr Rushworth 's fine fortune gives them a right to be I do not exactly know the distance but when you get back to Portsmouth if it is not very far off you ought to go over and pay your respects to them and I could send a little parcel by you that I want to get conveyed to your cousins {para} I should be very happy aunt but Brighton is almost by Beachey Head and if I could get so far I could not expect to be welcome in such a smart place as that poor scrubby midshipman as I am {para} Mrs Norris was beginning an eager assurance of the affability he might depend on when she was stopped by Sir Thomas 's saying with authority I do not advise your going to Brighton William as I trust you may soon have more convenient opportunities of meeting but my daughters would be happy to see their cousins anywhere and you will find Mr Rushworth most sincerely disposed to regard all the connexions of our family as his own {para} I would rather find him private secretary to the First Lord than anything else was William 's only answer in an undervoice not meant to reach far and the subject dropped {para} As yet Sir Thomas had seen nothing to remark in Mr Crawford 's behaviour but when the whist table broke up at the end of the second rubber and leaving Dr Grant and Mrs Norris to dispute over their last play he became a looker on at the other he found his niece the object of attentions or rather of professions of a somewhat pointed character {para} Henry Crawford was in the first glow of another scheme about Thornton Lacey and not being able to catch Edmund 's ear was detailing it to his fair neighbour with a look of considerable earnestness His scheme was to rent the house himself the following winter that he might have a home of his own in that neighbourhood and it was not merely for the use of it in the hunting season as he was then telling her though that consideration had certainly some weight feeling as he did that in spite of all Dr Grant 's very great kindness it was impossible for him and his horses to be accommodated where they now were without material inconvenience but his attachment to that neighbourhood did not depend upon one amusement or one season of the year he had set his heart upon having a something there that he could come to at any time a little homestall at his command where all the holidays of his year might be spent and he might find himself continuing improving and perfecting that friendship and intimacy with the Mansfield Park family which was increasing in value to him every day Sir Thomas heard and was not offended There was no want of respect in the young man 's address and Fanny 's reception of it was so proper and modest so calm and uninviting that he had nothing to censure in her She said little assented only here and there and betrayed no inclination either of appropriating any part of the compliment to herself or of strengthening his views in favour of Northamptonshire Finding by whom he was observed Henry Crawford addressed himself on the same subject to Sir Thomas in a more everyday tone but still with feeling {para} I want to be your neighbour Sir Thomas as you have perhaps heard me telling Miss Price May I hope for your acquiescence and for your not influencing your son against such a tenant {para} Sir Thomas politely bowing replied It is the only way sir in which I could not wish you established as a permanent neighbour but I hope and believe that Edmund will occupy his own house at Thornton Lacey Edmund am I saying too much {para} Edmund on this appeal had first to hear what was going on but on understanding the question was at no loss for an answer {para} Certainly sir I have no idea but of residence But Crawford though I refuse you as a tenant come to me as a friend Consider the house as half your own every winter and we will add to the stables on your own improved plan and with all the improvements of your improved plan that may occur to you this spring {para} We shall be the losers continued Sir Thomas His going though only eight miles will be an unwelcome contraction of our family circle but I should have been deeply mortified if any son of mine could reconcile himself to doing less It is perfectly natural that you should not have thought much on the subject Mr Crawford But a parish has wants and claims which can be known only by a clergyman constantly resident and which no proxy can be capable of satisfying to the same extent Edmund might in the common phrase do the duty of Thornton that is he might read prayers and preach without giving up Mansfield Park he might ride over every Sunday to a house nominally inhabited and go through divine service he might be the clergyman of Thornton Lacey every seventh day for three or four hours if that would content him But it will not He knows that human nature needs more lessons than a weekly sermon can convey and that if he does not live among his parishioners and prove himself by constant attention their well wisher and friend he does very little either for their good or his own {para} Mr Crawford bowed his acquiescence {para} I repeat again added Sir Thomas that Thornton Lacey is the only house in the neighbourhood in which I should not be happy to wait on Mr Crawford as occupier {para} Mr Crawford bowed his thanks {para} Sir Thomas said Edmund undoubtedly understands the duty of a parish priest We must hope his son may prove that he knows it too {para} Whatever effect Sir Thomas 's little harangue might really produce on Mr Crawford it raised some awkward sensations in two of the others two of his most attentive listeners Miss Crawford and Fanny One of whom having never before understood that Thornton was so soon and so completely to be his home was pondering with downcast eyes on what it would be not to see Edmund every day and the other startled from the agreeable fancies she had been previously indulging on the strength of her brother 's description no longer able in the picture she had been forming of a future Thornton to shut out the church sink the clergyman and see only the respectable elegant modernised and occasional residence of a man of independent fortune was considering Sir Thomas with decided ill will as the destroyer of all this and suffering the more from that involuntary forbearance which his character and manner commanded and from not daring to relieve herself by a single attempt at throwing ridicule on his cause {para} All the agreeable of her speculation was over for that hour It was time to have done with cards if sermons prevailed and she was glad to find it necessary to come to a conclusion and be able to refresh her spirits by a change of place and neighbour {para} The chief of the party were now collected irregularly round the fire and waiting the final break up William and Fanny were the most detached They remained together at the otherwise deserted card table talking very comfortably and not thinking of the rest till some of the rest began to think of them Henry Crawford 's chair was the first to be given a direction towards them and he sat silently observing them for a few minutes himself in the meanwhile observed by Sir Thomas who was standing in chat with Dr Grant {para} This is the assembly night said William If I were at Portsmouth I should be at it perhaps {para} But you do not wish yourself at Portsmouth William {para} No Fanny that I do not I shall have enough of Portsmouth and of dancing too when I cannot have you And I do not know that there would be any good in going to the assembly for I might not get a partner The Portsmouth girls turn up their noses at anybody who has not a commission One might as well be nothing as a midshipman One is nothing indeed You remember the Gregorys they are grown up amazing fine girls but they will hardly speak to me because Lucy is courted by a lieutenant {para} Oh shame shame But never mind it William her own cheeks in a glow of indignation as she spoke It is not worth minding It is no reflection on you it is no more than what the greatest admirals have all experienced more or less in their time You must think of that you must try to make up your mind to it as one of the hardships which fall to every sailor 's share like bad weather and hard living only with this advantage that there will be an end to it that there will come a time when you will have nothing of that sort to endure When you are a lieutenant only think William when you are a lieutenant how little you will care for any nonsense of this kind {para} I begin to think I shall never be a lieutenant Fanny Everybody gets made but me {para} Oh my dear William do not talk so do not be so desponding My uncle says nothing but I am sure he will do everything in his power to get you made He knows as well as you do of what consequence it is {para} She was checked by the sight of her uncle much nearer to them than she had any suspicion of and each found it necessary to talk of something else {para} Are you fond of dancing Fanny {para} Yes very only I am soon tired {para} I should like to go to a ball with you and see you dance Have you never any balls at Northampton I should like to see you dance and I 'd dance with you if you would for nobody would know who I was here and I should like to be your partner once more We used to jump about together many a time did not we when the hand organ was in the street I am a pretty good dancer in my way but I dare say you are a better And turning to his uncle who was now close to them Is not Fanny a very good dancer sir {para} Fanny in dismay at such an unprecedented question did not know which way to look or how to be prepared for the answer Some very grave reproof or at least the coldest expression of indifference must be coming to distress her brother and sink her to the ground But on the contrary it was no worse than I am sorry to say that I am unable to answer your question I have never seen Fanny dance since she was a little girl but I trust we shall both think she acquits herself like a gentlewoman when we do see her which perhaps we may have an opportunity of doing ere long {para} I have had the pleasure of seeing your sister dance Mr Price said Henry Crawford leaning forward and will engage to answer every inquiry which you can make on the subject to your entire satisfaction But I believe seeing Fanny looked distressed it must be at some other time There is one person in company who does not like to have Miss Price spoken of {para} True enough he had once seen Fanny dance and it was equally true that he would now have answered for her gliding about with quiet light elegance and in admirable time but in fact he could not for the life of him recall what her dancing had been and rather took it for granted that she had been present than remembered anything about her {para} He passed however for an admirer of her dancing and Sir Thomas by no means displeased prolonged the conversation on dancing in general and was so well engaged in describing the balls of Antigua and listening to what his nephew could relate of the different modes of dancing which had fallen within his observation that he had not heard his carriage announced and was first called to the knowledge of it by the bustle of Mrs Norris {para} Come Fanny Fanny what are you about We are going Do not you see your aunt is going Quick quick I cannot bear to keep good old Wilcox waiting You should always remember the coachman and horses My dear Sir Thomas we have settled it that the carriage should come back for you and Edmund and William {para} Sir Thomas could not dissent as it had been his own arrangement previously communicated to his wife and sister but that seemed forgotten by Mrs Norris who must fancy that she settled it all herself {para} Fanny 's last feeling in the visit was disappointment for the shawl which Edmund was quietly taking from the servant to bring and put round her shoulders was seized by Mr Crawford 's quicker hand and she was obliged to be indebted to his more prominent attention {para} CHAPTER XXVI {para} William 's desire of seeing Fanny dance made more than a momentary impression on his uncle The hope of an opportunity which Sir Thomas had then given was not given to be thought of no more He remained steadily inclined to gratify so amiable a feeling to gratify anybody else who might wish to see Fanny dance and to give pleasure to the young people in general and having thought the matter over and taken his resolution in quiet independence the result of it appeared the next morning at breakfast when after recalling and commending what his nephew had said he added I do not like William that you should leave Northamptonshire without this indulgence It would give me pleasure to see you both dance You spoke of the balls at Northampton Your cousins have occasionally attended them but they would not altogether suit us now The fatigue would be too much for your aunt I believe we must not think of a Northampton ball A dance at home would be more eligible and if {para} Ah my dear Sir Thomas interrupted Mrs Norris I knew what was coming I knew what you were going to say If dear Julia were at home or dearest Mrs Rushworth at Sotherton to afford a reason an occasion for such a thing you would be tempted to give the young people a dance at Mansfield I know you would If they were at home to grace the ball a ball you would have this very Christmas Thank your uncle William thank your uncle {para} My daughters replied Sir Thomas gravely interposing have their pleasures at Brighton and I hope are very happy but the dance which I think of giving at Mansfield will be for their cousins Could we be all assembled our satisfaction would undoubtedly be more complete but the absence of some is not to debar the others of amusement {para} Mrs Norris had not another word to say She saw decision in his looks and her surprise and vexation required some minutes silence to be settled into composure A ball at such a time His daughters absent and herself not consulted There was comfort however soon at hand She must be the doer of everything Lady Bertram would of course be spared all thought and exertion and it would all fall upon her She should have to do the honours of the evening and this reflection quickly restored so much of her good humour as enabled her to join in with the others before their happiness and thanks were all expressed {para} Edmund William and Fanny did in their different ways look and speak as much grateful pleasure in the promised ball as Sir Thomas could desire Edmund 's feelings were for the other two His father had never conferred a favour or shewn a kindness more to his satisfaction {para} Lady Bertram was perfectly quiescent and contented and had no objections to make Sir Thomas engaged for its giving her very little trouble and she assured him that she was not at all afraid of the trouble indeed she could not imagine there would be any {para} Mrs Norris was ready with her suggestions as to the rooms he would think fittest to be used but found it all prearranged and when she would have conjectured and hinted about the day it appeared that the day was settled too Sir Thomas had been amusing himself with shaping a very complete outline of the business and as soon as she would listen quietly could read his list of the families to be invited from whom he calculated with all necessary allowance for the shortness of the notice to collect young people enough to form twelve or fourteen couple and could detail the considerations which had induced him to fix on the 22nd as the most eligible day William was required to be at Portsmouth on the 24th the 22nd would therefore be the last day of his visit but where the days were so few it would be unwise to fix on any earlier Mrs Norris was obliged to be satisfied with thinking just the same and with having been on the point of proposing the 22nd herself as by far the best day for the purpose {para} The ball was now a settled thing and before the evening a proclaimed thing to all whom it concerned Invitations were sent with despatch and many a young lady went to bed that night with her head full of happy cares as well as Fanny To her the cares were sometimes almost beyond the happiness for young and inexperienced with small means of choice and no confidence in her own taste the how she should be dressed was a point of painful solicitude and the almost solitary ornament in her possession a very pretty amber cross which William had brought her from Sicily was the greatest distress of all for she had nothing but a bit of ribbon to fasten it to and though she had worn it in that manner once would it be allowable at such a time in the midst of all the rich ornaments which she supposed all the other young ladies would appear in And yet not to wear it William had wanted to buy her a gold chain too but the purchase had been beyond his means and therefore not to wear the cross might be mortifying him These were anxious considerations enough to sober her spirits even under the prospect of a ball given principally for her gratification {para} The preparations meanwhile went on and Lady Bertram continued to sit on her sofa without any inconvenience from them She had some extra visits from the housekeeper and her maid was rather hurried in making up a new dress for her Sir Thomas gave orders and Mrs Norris ran about but all this gave her no trouble and as she had foreseen there was in fact no trouble in the business {para} Edmund was at this time particularly full of cares his mind being deeply occupied in the consideration of two important events now at hand which were to fix his fate in life ordination and matrimony events of such a serious character as to make the ball which would be very quickly followed by one of them appear of less moment in his eyes than in those of any other person in the house On the 23rd he was going to a friend near Peterborough in the same situation as himself and they were to receive ordination in the course of the Christmas week Half his destiny would then be determined but the other half might not be so very smoothly wooed His duties would be established but the wife who was to share and animate and reward those duties might yet be unattainable He knew his own mind but he was not always perfectly assured of knowing Miss Crawford 's There were points on which they did not quite agree there were moments in which she did not seem propitious and though trusting altogether to her affection so far as to be resolved almost resolved on bringing it to a decision within a very short time as soon as the variety of business before him were arranged and he knew what he had to offer her he had many anxious feelings many doubting hours as to the result His conviction of her regard for him was sometimes very strong he could look back on a long course of encouragement and she was as perfect in disinterested attachment as in everything else But at other times doubt and alarm intermingled with his hopes and when he thought of her acknowledged disinclination for privacy and retirement her decided preference of a London life what could he expect but a determined rejection unless it were an acceptance even more to be deprecated demanding such sacrifices of situation and employment on his side as conscience must forbid {para} The issue of all depended on one question Did she love him well enough to forego what had used to be essential points Did she love him well enough to make them no longer essential And this question which he was continually repeating to himself though oftenest answered with a Yes had sometimes its No {para} Miss Crawford was soon to leave Mansfield and on this circumstance the no and the yes had been very recently in alternation He had seen her eyes sparkle as she spoke of the dear friend 's letter which claimed a long visit from her in London and of the kindness of Henry in engaging to remain where he was till January that he might convey her thither he had heard her speak of the pleasure of such a journey with an animation which had no in every tone But this had occurred on the first day of its being settled within the first hour of the burst of such enjoyment when nothing but the friends she was to visit was before her He had since heard her express herself differently with other feelings more chequered feelings he had heard her tell Mrs Grant that she should leave her with regret that she began to believe neither the friends nor the pleasures she was going to were worth those she left behind and that though she felt she must go and knew she should enjoy herself when once away she was already looking forward to being at Mansfield again Was there not a yes in all this {para} With such matters to ponder over and arrange and re arrange Edmund could not on his own account think very much of the evening which the rest of the family were looking forward to with a more equal degree of strong interest Independent of his two cousins enjoyment in it the evening was to him of no higher value than any other appointed meeting of the two families might be In every meeting there was a hope of receiving farther confirmation of Miss Crawford 's attachment but the whirl of a ballroom perhaps was not particularly favourable to the excitement or expression of serious feelings To engage her early for the two first dances was all the command of individual happiness which he felt in his power and the only preparation for the ball which he could enter into in spite of all that was passing around him on the subject from morning till night {para} Thursday was the day of the ball and on Wednesday morning Fanny still unable to satisfy herself as to what she ought to wear determined to seek the counsel of the more enlightened and apply to Mrs Grant and her sister whose acknowledged taste would certainly bear her blameless and as Edmund and William were gone to Northampton and she had reason to think Mr Crawford likewise out she walked down to the Parsonage without much fear of wanting an opportunity for private discussion and the privacy of such a discussion was a most important part of it to Fanny being more than half ashamed of her own solicitude {para} She met Miss Crawford within a few yards of the Parsonage just setting out to call on her and as it seemed to her that her friend though obliged to insist on turning back was unwilling to lose her walk she explained her business at once and observed that if she would be so kind as to give her opinion it might be all talked over as well without doors as within Miss Crawford appeared gratified by the application and after a moment 's thought urged Fanny 's returning with her in a much more cordial manner than before and proposed their going up into her room where they might have a comfortable coze without disturbing Dr and Mrs Grant who were together in the drawing room It was just the plan to suit Fanny and with a great deal of gratitude on her side for such ready and kind attention they proceeded indoors and upstairs and were soon deep in the interesting subject Miss Crawford pleased with the appeal gave her all her best judgment and taste made everything easy by her suggestions and tried to make everything agreeable by her encouragement The dress being settled in all its grander parts But what shall you have by way of necklace said Miss Crawford Shall not you wear your brother 's cross And as she spoke she was undoing a small parcel which Fanny had observed in her hand when they met Fanny acknowledged her wishes and doubts on this point she did not know how either to wear the cross or to refrain from wearing it She was answered by having a small trinket box placed before her and being requested to chuse from among several gold chains and necklaces Such had been the parcel with which Miss Crawford was provided and such the object of her intended visit and in the kindest manner she now urged Fanny 's taking one for the cross and to keep for her sake saying everything she could think of to obviate the scruples which were making Fanny start back at first with a look of horror at the proposal {para} You see what a collection I have said she more by half than I ever use or think of I do not offer them as new I offer nothing but an old necklace You must forgive the liberty and oblige me {para} Fanny still resisted and from her heart The gift was too valuable But Miss Crawford persevered and argued the case with so much affectionate earnestness through all the heads of William and the cross and the ball and herself as to be finally successful Fanny found herself obliged to yield that she might not be accused of pride or indifference or some other littleness and having with modest reluctance given her consent proceeded to make the selection She looked and looked longing to know which might be least valuable and was determined in her choice at last by fancying there was one necklace more frequently placed before her eyes than the rest It was of gold prettily worked and though Fanny would have preferred a longer and a plainer chain as more adapted for her purpose she hoped in fixing on this to be chusing what Miss Crawford least wished to keep Miss Crawford smiled her perfect approbation and hastened to complete the gift by putting the necklace round her and making her see how well it looked Fanny had not a word to say against its becomingness and excepting what remained of her scruples was exceedingly pleased with an acquisition so very apropos She would rather perhaps have been obliged to some other person But this was an unworthy feeling Miss Crawford had anticipated her wants with a kindness which proved her a real friend When I wear this necklace I shall always think of you said she and feel how very kind you were {para} You must think of somebody else too when you wear that necklace replied Miss Crawford You must think of Henry for it was his choice in the first place He gave it to me and with the necklace I make over to you all the duty of remembering the original giver It is to be a family remembrancer The sister is not to be in your mind without bringing the brother too {para} Fanny in great astonishment and confusion would have returned the present instantly To take what had been the gift of another person of a brother too impossible it must not be and with an eagerness and embarrassment quite diverting to her companion she laid down the necklace again on its cotton and seemed resolved either to take another or none at all Miss Crawford thought she had never seen a prettier consciousness My dear child said she laughing what are you afraid of Do you think Henry will claim the necklace as mine and fancy you did not come honestly by it or are you imagining he would be too much flattered by seeing round your lovely throat an ornament which his money purchased three years ago before he knew there was such a throat in the world or perhaps looking archly you suspect a confederacy between us and that what I am now doing is with his knowledge and at his desire {para} With the deepest blushes Fanny protested against such a thought {para} Well then replied Miss Crawford more seriously but without at all believing her to convince me that you suspect no trick and are as unsuspicious of compliment as I have always found you take the necklace and say no more about it Its being a gift of my brother 's need not make the smallest difference in your accepting it as I assure you it makes none in my willingness to part with it He is always giving me something or other I have such innumerable presents from him that it is quite impossible for me to value or for him to remember half And as for this necklace I do not suppose I have worn it six times it is very pretty but I never think of it and though you would be most heartily welcome to any other in my trinket box you have happened to fix on the very one which if I have a choice I would rather part with and see in your possession than any other Say no more against it I entreat you Such a trifle is not worth half so many words {para} Fanny dared not make any farther opposition and with renewed but less happy thanks accepted the necklace again for there was an expression in Miss Crawford 's eyes which she could not be satisfied with {para} It was impossible for her to be insensible of Mr Crawford 's change of manners She had long seen it He evidently tried to please her he was gallant he was attentive he was something like what he had been to her cousins he wanted she supposed to cheat her of her tranquillity as he had cheated them and whether he might not have some concern in this necklace she could not be convinced that he had not for Miss Crawford complaisant as a sister was careless as a woman and a friend {para} Reflecting and doubting and feeling that the possession of what she had so much wished for did not bring much satisfaction she now walked home again with a change rather than a diminution of cares since her treading that path before {para} CHAPTER XXVII {para} On reaching home Fanny went immediately upstairs to deposit this unexpected acquisition this doubtful good of a necklace in some favourite box in the East room which held all her smaller treasures but on opening the door what was her surprise to find her cousin Edmund there writing at the table Such a sight having never occurred before was almost as wonderful as it was welcome {para} Fanny said he directly leaving his seat and his pen and meeting her with something in his hand I beg your pardon for being here I came to look for you and after waiting a little while in hope of your coming in was making use of your inkstand to explain my errand You will find the beginning of a note to yourself but I can now speak my business which is merely to beg your acceptance of this little trifle a chain for William 's cross You ought to have had it a week ago but there has been a delay from my brother 's not being in town by several days so soon as I expected and I have only just now received it at Northampton I hope you will like the chain itself Fanny I endeavoured to consult the simplicity of your taste but at any rate I know you will be kind to my intentions and consider it as it really is a token of the love of one of your oldest friends {para} And so saying he was hurrying away before Fanny overpowered by a thousand feelings of pain and pleasure could attempt to speak but quickened by one sovereign wish she then called out Oh cousin stop a moment pray stop {para} He turned back {para} I cannot attempt to thank you she continued in a very agitated manner thanks are out of the question I feel much more than I can possibly express Your goodness in thinking of me in such a way is beyond {para} If that is all you have to say Fanny smiling and turning away again {para} No no it is not I want to consult you {para} Almost unconsciously she had now undone the parcel he had just put into her hand and seeing before her in all the niceness of jewellers packing a plain gold chain perfectly simple and neat she could not help bursting forth again Oh this is beautiful indeed This is the very thing precisely what I wished for This is the only ornament I have ever had a desire to possess It will exactly suit my cross They must and shall be worn together It comes too in such an acceptable moment Oh cousin you do not know how acceptable it is {para} My dear Fanny you feel these things a great deal too much I am most happy that you like the chain and that it should be here in time for to morrow but your thanks are far beyond the occasion Believe me I have no pleasure in the world superior to that of contributing to yours No I can safely say I have no pleasure so complete so unalloyed It is without a drawback {para} Upon such expressions of affection Fanny could have lived an hour without saying another word but Edmund after waiting a moment obliged her to bring down her mind from its heavenly flight by saying But what is it that you want to consult me about {para} It was about the necklace which she was now most earnestly longing to return and hoped to obtain his approbation of her doing She gave the history of her recent visit and now her raptures might well be over for Edmund was so struck with the circumstance so delighted with what Miss Crawford had done so gratified by such a coincidence of conduct between them that Fanny could not but admit the superior power of one pleasure over his own mind though it might have its drawback It was some time before she could get his attention to her plan or any answer to her demand of his opinion he was in a reverie of fond reflection uttering only now and then a few half sentences of praise but when he did awake and understand he was very decided in opposing what she wished {para} Return the necklace No my dear Fanny upon no account It would be mortifying her severely There can hardly be a more unpleasant sensation than the having anything returned on our hands which we have given with a reasonable hope of its contributing to the comfort of a friend Why should she lose a pleasure which she has shewn herself so deserving of {para} If it had been given to me in the first instance said Fanny I should not have thought of returning it but being her brother 's present is not it fair to suppose that she would rather not part with it when it is not wanted {para} She must not suppose it not wanted not acceptable at least and its having been originally her brother 's gift makes no difference for as she was not prevented from offering nor you from taking it on that account it ought not to prevent you from keeping it No doubt it is handsomer than mine and fitter for a ballroom {para} No it is not handsomer not at all handsomer in its way and for my purpose not half so fit The chain will agree with William 's cross beyond all comparison better than the necklace {para} For one night Fanny for only one night if it be a sacrifice I am sure you will upon consideration make that sacrifice rather than give pain to one who has been so studious of your comfort Miss Crawford 's attentions to you have been not more than you were justly entitled to I am the last person to think that could be but they have been invariable and to be returning them with what must have something the air of ingratitude though I know it could never have the meaning is not in your nature I am sure Wear the necklace as you are engaged to do to morrow evening and let the chain which was not ordered with any reference to the ball be kept for commoner occasions This is my advice I would not have the shadow of a coolness between the two whose intimacy I have been observing with the greatest pleasure and in whose characters there is so much general resemblance in true generosity and natural delicacy as to make the few slight differences resulting principally from situation no reasonable hindrance to a perfect friendship I would not have the shadow of a coolness arise he repeated his voice sinking a little between the two dearest objects I have on earth {para} He was gone as he spoke and Fanny remained to tranquillise herself as she could She was one of his two dearest that must support her But the other the first She had never heard him speak so openly before and though it told her no more than what she had long perceived it was a stab for it told of his own convictions and views They were decided He would marry Miss Crawford It was a stab in spite of every long standing expectation and she was obliged to repeat again and again that she was one of his two dearest before the words gave her any sensation Could she believe Miss Crawford to deserve him it would be oh how different would it be how far more tolerable But he was deceived in her he gave her merits which she had not her faults were what they had ever been but he saw them no longer Till she had shed many tears over this deception Fanny could not subdue her agitation and the dejection which followed could only be relieved by the influence of fervent prayers for his happiness {para} It was her intention as she felt it to be her duty to try to overcome all that was excessive all that bordered on selfishness in her affection for Edmund To call or to fancy it a loss a disappointment would be a presumption for which she had not words strong enough to satisfy her own humility To think of him as Miss Crawford might be justified in thinking would in her be insanity To her he could be nothing under any circumstances nothing dearer than a friend Why did such an idea occur to her even enough to be reprobated and forbidden It ought not to have touched on the confines of her imagination She would endeavour to be rational and to deserve the right of judging of Miss Crawford 's character and the privilege of true solicitude for him by a sound intellect and an honest heart {para} She had all the heroism of principle and was determined to do her duty but having also many of the feelings of youth and nature let her not be much wondered at if after making all these good resolutions on the side of self government she seized the scrap of paper on which Edmund had begun writing to her as a treasure beyond all her hopes and reading with the tenderest emotion these words My very dear Fanny you must do me the favour to accept locked it up with the chain as the dearest part of the gift It was the only thing approaching to a letter which she had ever received from him she might never receive another it was impossible that she ever should receive another so perfectly gratifying in the occasion and the style Two lines more prized had never fallen from the pen of the most distinguished author never more completely blessed the researches of the fondest biographer The enthusiasm of a woman 's love is even beyond the biographer 's To her the handwriting itself independent of anything it may convey is a blessedness Never were such characters cut by any other human being as Edmund 's commonest handwriting gave This specimen written in haste as it was had not a fault and there was a felicity in the flow of the first four words in the arrangement of My very dear Fanny which she could have looked at for ever {para} Having regulated her thoughts and comforted her feelings by this happy mixture of reason and weakness she was able in due time to go down and resume her usual employments near her aunt Bertram and pay her the usual observances without any apparent want of spirits {para} Thursday predestined to hope and enjoyment came and opened with more kindness to Fanny than such self willed unmanageable days often volunteer for soon after breakfast a very friendly note was brought from Mr Crawford to William stating that as he found himself obliged to go to London on the morrow for a few days he could not help trying to procure a companion and therefore hoped that if William could make up his mind to leave Mansfield half a day earlier than had been proposed he would accept a place in his carriage Mr Crawford meant to be in town by his uncle 's accustomary late dinner hour and William was invited to dine with him at the Admiral 's The proposal was a very pleasant one to William himself who enjoyed the idea of travelling post with four horses and such a good humoured agreeable friend and in likening it to going up with despatches was saying at once everything in favour of its happiness and dignity which his imagination could suggest and Fanny from a different motive was exceedingly pleased for the original plan was that William should go up by the mail from Northampton the following night which would not have allowed him an hour 's rest before he must have got into a Portsmouth coach and though this offer of Mr Crawford 's would rob her of many hours of his company she was too happy in having William spared from the fatigue of such a journey to think of anything else Sir Thomas approved of it for another reason His nephew 's introduction to Admiral Crawford might be of service The Admiral he believed had interest Upon the whole it was a very joyous note Fanny 's spirits lived on it half the morning deriving some accession of pleasure from its writer being himself to go away {para} As for the ball so near at hand she had too many agitations and fears to have half the enjoyment in anticipation which she ought to have had or must have been supposed to have by the many young ladies looking forward to the same event in situations more at ease but under circumstances of less novelty less interest less peculiar gratification than would be attributed to her Miss Price known only by name to half the people invited was now to make her first appearance and must be regarded as the queen of the evening Who could be happier than Miss Price But Miss Price had not been brought up to the trade of coming out and had she known in what light this ball was in general considered respecting her it would very much have lessened her comfort by increasing the fears she already had of doing wrong and being looked at To dance without much observation or any extraordinary fatigue to have strength and partners for about half the evening to dance a little with Edmund and not a great deal with Mr Crawford to see William enjoy himself and be able to keep away from her aunt Norris was the height of her ambition and seemed to comprehend her greatest possibility of happiness As these were the best of her hopes they could not always prevail and in the course of a long morning spent principally with her two aunts she was often under the influence of much less sanguine views William determined to make this last day a day of thorough enjoyment was out snipe shooting Edmund she had too much reason to suppose was at the Parsonage and left alone to bear the worrying of Mrs Norris who was cross because the housekeeper would have her own way with the supper and whom she could not avoid though the housekeeper might Fanny was worn down at last to think everything an evil belonging to the ball and when sent off with a parting worry to dress moved as languidly towards her own room and felt as incapable of happiness as if she had been allowed no share in it {para} As she walked slowly upstairs she thought of yesterday it had been about the same hour that she had returned from the Parsonage and found Edmund in the East room Suppose I were to find him there again to day said she to herself in a fond indulgence of fancy {para} Fanny said a voice at that moment near her Starting and looking up she saw across the lobby she had just reached Edmund himself standing at the head of a different staircase He came towards her You look tired and fagged Fanny You have been walking too far {para} No I have not been out at all {para} Then you have had fatigues within doors which are worse You had better have gone out {para} Fanny not liking to complain found it easiest to make no answer and though he looked at her with his usual kindness she believed he had soon ceased to think of her countenance He did not appear in spirits something unconnected with her was probably amiss They proceeded upstairs together their rooms being on the same floor above {para} I come from Dr Grant 's said Edmund presently You may guess my errand there Fanny And he looked so conscious that Fanny could think but of one errand which turned her too sick for speech I wished to engage Miss Crawford for the two first dances was the explanation that followed and brought Fanny to life again enabling her as she found she was expected to speak to utter something like an inquiry as to the result {para} Yes he answered she is engaged to me but with a smile that did not sit easy she says it is to be the last time that she ever will dance with me She is not serious I think I hope I am sure she is not serious but I would rather not hear it She never has danced with a clergyman she says and she never will For my own sake I could wish there had been no ball just at I mean not this very week this very day to morrow I leave home {para} Fanny struggled for speech and said I am very sorry that anything has occurred to distress you This ought to be a day of pleasure My uncle meant it so {para} Oh yes yes and it will be a day of pleasure It will all end right I am only vexed for a moment In fact it is not that I consider the ball as ill timed what does it signify But Fanny stopping her by taking her hand and speaking low and seriously you know what all this means You see how it is and could tell me perhaps better than I could tell you how and why I am vexed Let me talk to you a little You are a kind kind listener I have been pained by her manner this morning and cannot get the better of it I know her disposition to be as sweet and faultless as your own but the influence of her former companions makes her seem gives to her conversation to her professed opinions sometimes a tinge of wrong She does not think evil but she speaks it speaks it in playfulness and though I know it to be playfulness it grieves me to the soul {para} The effect of education said Fanny gently {para} Edmund could not but agree to it Yes that uncle and aunt They have injured the finest mind for sometimes Fanny I own to you it does appear more than manner it appears as if the mind itself was tainted {para} Fanny imagined this to be an appeal to her judgment and therefore after a moment 's consideration said If you only want me as a listener cousin I will be as useful as I can but I am not qualified for an adviser Do not ask advice of me I am not competent {para} You are right Fanny to protest against such an office but you need not be afraid It is a subject on which I should never ask advice it is the sort of subject on which it had better never be asked and few I imagine do ask it but when they want to be influenced against their conscience I only want to talk to you {para} One thing more Excuse the liberty but take care how you talk to me Do not tell me anything now which hereafter you may be sorry for The time may come {para} The colour rushed into her cheeks as she spoke {para} Dearest Fanny cried Edmund pressing her hand to his lips with almost as much warmth as if it had been Miss Crawford 's you are all considerate thought But it is unnecessary here The time will never come No such time as you allude to will ever come I begin to think it most improbable the chances grow less and less and even if it should there will be nothing to be remembered by either you or me that we need be afraid of for I can never be ashamed of my own scruples and if they are removed it must be by changes that will only raise her character the more by the recollection of the faults she once had You are the only being upon earth to whom I should say what I have said but you have always known my opinion of her you can bear me witness Fanny that I have never been blinded How many a time have we talked over her little errors You need not fear me I have almost given up every serious idea of her but I must be a blockhead indeed if whatever befell me I could think of your kindness and sympathy without the sincerest gratitude {para} He had said enough to shake the experience of eighteen He had said enough to give Fanny some happier feelings than she had lately known and with a brighter look she answered Yes cousin I am convinced that you would be incapable of anything else though perhaps some might not I cannot be afraid of hearing anything you wish to say Do not check yourself Tell me whatever you like {para} They were now on the second floor and the appearance of a housemaid prevented any farther conversation For Fanny 's present comfort it was concluded perhaps at the happiest moment had he been able to talk another five minutes there is no saying that he might not have talked away all Miss Crawford 's faults and his own despondence But as it was they parted with looks on his side of grateful affection and with some very precious sensations on hers She had felt nothing like it for hours Since the first joy from Mr Crawford 's note to William had worn away she had been in a state absolutely the reverse there had been no comfort around no hope within her Now everything was smiling William 's good fortune returned again upon her mind and seemed of greater value than at first The ball too such an evening of pleasure before her It was now a real animation and she began to dress for it with much of the happy flutter which belongs to a ball All went well she did not dislike her own looks and when she came to the necklaces again her good fortune seemed complete for upon trial the one given her by Miss Crawford would by no means go through the ring of the cross She had to oblige Edmund resolved to wear it but it was too large for the purpose His therefore must be worn and having with delightful feelings joined the chain and the cross those memorials of the two most beloved of her heart those dearest tokens so formed for each other by everything real and imaginary and put them round her neck and seen and felt how full of William and Edmund they were she was able without an effort to resolve on wearing Miss Crawford 's necklace too She acknowledged it to be right Miss Crawford had a claim and when it was no longer to encroach on to interfere with the stronger claims the truer kindness of another she could do her justice even with pleasure to herself The necklace really looked very well and Fanny left her room at last comfortably satisfied with herself and all about her {para} Her aunt Bertram had recollected her on this occasion with an unusual degree of wakefulness It had really occurred to her unprompted that Fanny preparing for a ball might be glad of better help than the upper housemaid 's and when dressed herself she actually sent her own maid to assist her too late of course to be of any use Mrs Chapman had just reached the attic floor when Miss Price came out of her room completely dressed and only civilities were necessary but Fanny felt her aunt 's attention almost as much as Lady Bertram or Mrs Chapman could do themselves {para} CHAPTER XXVIII {para} Her uncle and both her aunts were in the drawing room when Fanny went down To the former she was an interesting object and he saw with pleasure the general elegance of her appearance and her being in remarkably good looks The neatness and propriety of her dress was all that he would allow himself to commend in her presence but upon her leaving the room again soon afterwards he spoke of her beauty with very decided praise {para} Yes said Lady Bertram she looks very well I sent Chapman to her {para} Look well Oh yes cried Mrs Norris she has good reason to look well with all her advantages brought up in this family as she has been with all the benefit of her cousins manners before her Only think my dear Sir Thomas what extraordinary advantages you and I have been the means of giving her The very gown you have been taking notice of is your own generous present to her when dear Mrs Rushworth married What would she have been if we had not taken her by the hand {para} Sir Thomas said no more but when they sat down to table the eyes of the two young men assured him that the subject might be gently touched again when the ladies withdrew with more success Fanny saw that she was approved and the consciousness of looking well made her look still better From a variety of causes she was happy and she was soon made still happier for in following her aunts out of the room Edmund who was holding open the door said as she passed him You must dance with me Fanny you must keep two dances for me any two that you like except the first She had nothing more to wish for She had hardly ever been in a state so nearly approaching high spirits in her life Her cousins former gaiety on the day of a ball was no longer surprising to her she felt it to be indeed very charming and was actually practising her steps about the drawing room as long as she could be safe from the notice of her aunt Norris who was entirely taken up at first in fresh arranging and injuring the noble fire which the butler had prepared {para} Half an hour followed that would have been at least languid under any other circumstances but Fanny 's happiness still prevailed It was but to think of her conversation with Edmund and what was the restlessness of Mrs Norris What were the yawns of Lady Bertram {para} The gentlemen joined them and soon after began the sweet expectation of a carriage when a general spirit of ease and enjoyment seemed diffused and they all stood about and talked and laughed and every moment had its pleasure and its hope Fanny felt that there must be a struggle in Edmund 's cheerfulness but it was delightful to see the effort so successfully made {para} When the carriages were really heard when the guests began really to assemble her own gaiety of heart was much subdued the sight of so many strangers threw her back into herself and besides the gravity and formality of the first great circle which the manners of neither Sir Thomas nor Lady Bertram were of a kind to do away she found herself occasionally called on to endure something worse She was introduced here and there by her uncle and forced to be spoken to and to curtsey and speak again This was a hard duty and she was never summoned to it without looking at William as he walked about at his ease in the background of the scene and longing to be with him {para} The entrance of the Grants and Crawfords was a favourable epoch The stiffness of the meeting soon gave way before their popular manners and more diffused intimacies little groups were formed and everybody grew comfortable Fanny felt the advantage and drawing back from the toils of civility would have been again most happy could she have kept her eyes from wandering between Edmund and Mary Crawford She looked all loveliness and what might not be the end of it Her own musings were brought to an end on perceiving Mr Crawford before her and her thoughts were put into another channel by his engaging her almost instantly for the first two dances Her happiness on this occasion was very much a la mortal finely chequered To be secure of a partner at first was a most essential good for the moment of beginning was now growing seriously near and she so little understood her own claims as to think that if Mr Crawford had not asked her she must have been the last to be sought after and should have received a partner only through a series of inquiry and bustle and interference which would have been terrible but at the same time there was a pointedness in his manner of asking her which she did not like and she saw his eye glancing for a moment at her necklace with a smile she thought there was a smile which made her blush and feel wretched And though there was no second glance to disturb her though his object seemed then to be only quietly agreeable she could not get the better of her embarrassment heightened as it was by the idea of his perceiving it and had no composure till he turned away to some one else Then she could gradually rise up to the genuine satisfaction of having a partner a voluntary partner secured against the dancing began {para} When the company were moving into the ballroom she found herself for the first time near Miss Crawford whose eyes and smiles were immediately and more unequivocally directed as her brother 's had been and who was beginning to speak on the subject when Fanny anxious to get the story over hastened to give the explanation of the second necklace the real chain Miss Crawford listened and all her intended compliments and insinuations to Fanny were forgotten she felt only one thing and her eyes bright as they had been before shewing they could yet be brighter she exclaimed with eager pleasure Did he Did Edmund That was like himself No other man would have thought of it I honour him beyond expression And she looked around as if longing to tell him so He was not near he was attending a party of ladies out of the room and Mrs Grant coming up to the two girls and taking an arm of each they followed with the rest {para} Fanny 's heart sunk but there was no leisure for thinking long even of Miss Crawford 's feelings They were in the ballroom the violins were playing and her mind was in a flutter that forbade its fixing on anything serious She must watch the general arrangements and see how everything was done {para} In a few minutes Sir Thomas came to her and asked if she were engaged and the Yes sir to Mr Crawford was exactly what he had intended to hear Mr Crawford was not far off Sir Thomas brought him to her saying something which discovered to Fanny that she was to lead the way and open the ball an idea that had never occurred to her before Whenever she had thought of the minutiae of the evening it had been as a matter of course that Edmund would begin with Miss Crawford and the impression was so strong that though her uncle spoke the contrary she could not help an exclamation of surprise a hint of her unfitness an entreaty even to be excused To be urging her opinion against Sir Thomas 's was a proof of the extremity of the case but such was her horror at the first suggestion that she could actually look him in the face and say that she hoped it might be settled otherwise in vain however Sir Thomas smiled tried to encourage her and then looked too serious and said too decidedly It must be so my dear for her to hazard another word and she found herself the next moment conducted by Mr Crawford to the top of the room and standing there to be joined by the rest of the dancers couple after couple as they were formed {para} She could hardly believe it To be placed above so many elegant young women The distinction was too great It was treating her like her cousins And her thoughts flew to those absent cousins with most unfeigned and truly tender regret that they were not at home to take their own place in the room and have their share of a pleasure which would have been so very delightful to them So often as she had heard them wish for a ball at home as the greatest of all felicities And to have them away when it was given and for her to be opening the ball and with Mr Crawford too She hoped they would not envy her that distinction now but when she looked back to the state of things in the autumn to what they had all been to each other when once dancing in that house before the present arrangement was almost more than she could understand herself {para} The ball began It was rather honour than happiness to Fanny for the first dance at least her partner was in excellent spirits and tried to impart them to her but she was a great deal too much frightened to have any enjoyment till she could suppose herself no longer looked at Young pretty and gentle however she had no awkwardnesses that were not as good as graces and there were few persons present that were not disposed to praise her She was attractive she was modest she was Sir Thomas 's niece and she was soon said to be admired by Mr Crawford It was enough to give her general favour Sir Thomas himself was watching her progress down the dance with much complacency he was proud of his niece and without attributing all her personal beauty as Mrs Norris seemed to do to her transplantation to Mansfield he was pleased with himself for having supplied everything else education and manners she owed to him {para} Miss Crawford saw much of Sir Thomas 's thoughts as he stood and having in spite of all his wrongs towards her a general prevailing desire of recommending herself to him took an opportunity of stepping aside to say something agreeable of Fanny Her praise was warm and he received it as she could wish joining in it as far as discretion and politeness and slowness of speech would allow and certainly appearing to greater advantage on the subject than his lady did soon afterwards when Mary perceiving her on a sofa very near turned round before she began to dance to compliment her on Miss Price 's looks {para} Yes she does look very well was Lady Bertram 's placid reply Chapman helped her to dress I sent Chapman to her Not but that she was really pleased to have Fanny admired but she was so much more struck with her own kindness in sending Chapman to her that she could not get it out of her head {para} Miss Crawford knew Mrs Norris too well to think of gratifying her by commendation of Fanny to her it was as the occasion offered Ah ma'am how much we want dear Mrs Rushworth and Julia to night and Mrs Norris paid her with as many smiles and courteous words as she had time for amid so much occupation as she found for herself in making up card tables giving hints to Sir Thomas and trying to move all the chaperons to a better part of the room {para} Miss Crawford blundered most towards Fanny herself in her intentions to please She meant to be giving her little heart a happy flutter and filling her with sensations of delightful self consequence and misinterpreting Fanny 's blushes still thought she must be doing so when she went to her after the two first dances and said with a significant look Perhaps you can tell me why my brother goes to town to morrow He says he has business there but will not tell me what The first time he ever denied me his confidence But this is what we all come to All are supplanted sooner or later Now I must apply to you for information Pray what is Henry going for {para} Fanny protested her ignorance as steadily as her embarrassment allowed {para} Well then replied Miss Crawford laughing I must suppose it to be purely for the pleasure of conveying your brother and of talking of you by the way {para} Fanny was confused but it was the confusion of discontent while Miss Crawford wondered she did not smile and thought her over anxious or thought her odd or thought her anything rather than insensible of pleasure in Henry 's attentions Fanny had a good deal of enjoyment in the course of the evening but Henry 's attentions had very little to do with it She would much rather not have been asked by him again so very soon and she wished she had not been obliged to suspect that his previous inquiries of Mrs Norris about the supper hour were all for the sake of securing her at that part of the evening But it was not to be avoided he made her feel that she was the object of all though she could not say that it was unpleasantly done that there was indelicacy or ostentation in his manner and sometimes when he talked of William he was really not unagreeable and shewed even a warmth of heart which did him credit But still his attentions made no part of her satisfaction She was happy whenever she looked at William and saw how perfectly he was enjoying himself in every five minutes that she could walk about with him and hear his account of his partners she was happy in knowing herself admired and she was happy in having the two dances with Edmund still to look forward to during the greatest part of the evening her hand being so eagerly sought after that her indefinite engagement with him was in continual perspective She was happy even when they did take place but not from any flow of spirits on his side or any such expressions of tender gallantry as had blessed the morning His mind was fagged and her happiness sprung from being the friend with whom it could find repose I am worn out with civility said he I have been talking incessantly all night and with nothing to say But with you Fanny there may be peace You will not want to be talked to Let us have the luxury of silence Fanny would hardly even speak her agreement A weariness arising probably in great measure from the same feelings which he had acknowledged in the morning was peculiarly to be respected and they went down their two dances together with such sober tranquillity as might satisfy any looker on that Sir Thomas had been bringing up no wife for his younger son {para} The evening had afforded Edmund little pleasure Miss Crawford had been in gay spirits when they first danced together but it was not her gaiety that could do him good it rather sank than raised his comfort and afterwards for he found himself still impelled to seek her again she had absolutely pained him by her manner of speaking of the profession to which he was now on the point of belonging They had talked and they had been silent he had reasoned she had ridiculed and they had parted at last with mutual vexation Fanny not able to refrain entirely from observing them had seen enough to be tolerably satisfied It was barbarous to be happy when Edmund was suffering Yet some happiness must and would arise from the very conviction that he did suffer {para} When her two dances with him were over her inclination and strength for more were pretty well at an end and Sir Thomas having seen her walk rather than dance down the shortening set breathless and with her hand at her side gave his orders for her sitting down entirely From that time Mr Crawford sat down likewise {para} Poor Fanny cried William coming for a moment to visit her and working away his partner 's fan as if for life how soon she is knocked up Why the sport is but just begun I hope we shall keep it up these two hours How can you be tired so soon {para} So soon my good friend said Sir Thomas producing his watch with all necessary caution it is three o'clock and your sister is not used to these sort of hours {para} Well then Fanny you shall not get up to morrow before I go Sleep as long as you can and never mind me {para} Oh William {para} What Did she think of being up before you set off {para} Oh yes sir cried Fanny rising eagerly from her seat to be nearer her uncle I must get up and breakfast with him It will be the last time you know the last morning {para} You had better not He is to have breakfasted and be gone by half past nine Mr Crawford I think you call for him at half past nine {para} Fanny was too urgent however and had too many tears in her eyes for denial and it ended in a gracious Well well which was permission {para} Yes half past nine said Crawford to William as the latter was leaving them and I shall be punctual for there will be no kind sister to get up for me And in a lower tone to Fanny I shall have only a desolate house to hurry from Your brother will find my ideas of time and his own very different to morrow {para} After a short consideration Sir Thomas asked Crawford to join the early breakfast party in that house instead of eating alone he should himself be of it and the readiness with which his invitation was accepted convinced him that the suspicions whence he must confess to himself this very ball had in great measure sprung were well founded Mr Crawford was in love with Fanny He had a pleasing anticipation of what would be His niece meanwhile did not thank him for what he had just done She had hoped to have William all to herself the last morning It would have been an unspeakable indulgence But though her wishes were overthrown there was no spirit of murmuring within her On the contrary she was so totally unused to have her pleasure consulted or to have anything take place at all in the way she could desire that she was more disposed to wonder and rejoice in having carried her point so far than to repine at the counteraction which followed {para} Shortly afterward Sir Thomas was again interfering a little with her inclination by advising her to go immediately to bed Advise was his word but it was the advice of absolute power and she had only to rise and with Mr Crawford 's very cordial adieus pass quietly away stopping at the entrance door like the Lady of Branxholm Hall one moment and no more to view the happy scene and take a last look at the five or six determined couple who were still hard at work and then creeping slowly up the principal staircase pursued by the ceaseless country dance feverish with hopes and fears soup and negus sore footed and fatigued restless and agitated yet feeling in spite of everything that a ball was indeed delightful {para} In thus sending her away Sir Thomas perhaps might not be thinking merely of her health It might occur to him that Mr Crawford had been sitting by her long enough or he might mean to recommend her as a wife by shewing her persuadableness {para} CHAPTER XXIX {para} The ball was over and the breakfast was soon over too the last kiss was given and William was gone Mr Crawford had as he foretold been very punctual and short and pleasant had been the meal {para} After seeing William to the last moment Fanny walked back to the breakfast room with a very saddened heart to grieve over the melancholy change and there her uncle kindly left her to cry in peace conceiving perhaps that the deserted chair of each young man might exercise her tender enthusiasm and that the remaining cold pork bones and mustard in William 's plate might but divide her feelings with the broken egg shells in Mr Crawford 's She sat and cried con amore as her uncle intended but it was con amore fraternal and no other William was gone and she now felt as if she had wasted half his visit in idle cares and selfish solicitudes unconnected with him {para} Fanny 's disposition was such that she could never even think of her aunt Norris in the meagreness and cheerlessness of her own small house without reproaching herself for some little want of attention to her when they had been last together much less could her feelings acquit her of having done and said and thought everything by William that was due to him for a whole fortnight {para} It was a heavy melancholy day Soon after the second breakfast Edmund bade them good bye for a week and mounted his horse for Peterborough and then all were gone Nothing remained of last night but remembrances which she had nobody to share in She talked to her aunt Bertram she must talk to somebody of the ball but her aunt had seen so little of what had passed and had so little curiosity that it was heavy work Lady Bertram was not certain of anybody 's dress or anybody 's place at supper but her own She could not recollect what it was that she had heard about one of the Miss Maddoxes or what it was that Lady Prescott had noticed in Fanny she was not sure whether Colonel Harrison had been talking of Mr Crawford or of William when he said he was the finest young man in the room somebody had whispered something to her she had forgot to ask Sir Thomas what it could be And these were her longest speeches and clearest communications the rest was only a languid Yes yes very well did you did he I did not see that I should not know one from the other This was very bad It was only better than Mrs Norris 's sharp answers would have been but she being gone home with all the supernumerary jellies to nurse a sick maid there was peace and good humour in their little party though it could not boast much beside {para} The evening was heavy like the day I cannot think what is the matter with me said Lady Bertram when the tea things were removed I feel quite stupid It must be sitting up so late last night Fanny you must do something to keep me awake I cannot work Fetch the cards I feel so very stupid {para} The cards were brought and Fanny played at cribbage with her aunt till bedtime and as Sir Thomas was reading to himself no sounds were heard in the room for the next two hours beyond the reckonings of the game And that makes thirty one four in hand and eight in crib You are to deal ma'am shall I deal for you Fanny thought and thought again of the difference which twenty four hours had made in that room and all that part of the house Last night it had been hope and smiles bustle and motion noise and brilliancy in the drawing room and out of the drawing room and everywhere Now it was languor and all but solitude {para} A good night 's rest improved her spirits She could think of William the next day more cheerfully and as the morning afforded her an opportunity of talking over Thursday night with Mrs Grant and Miss Crawford in a very handsome style with all the heightenings of imagination and all the laughs of playfulness which are so essential to the shade of a departed ball she could afterwards bring her mind without much effort into its everyday state and easily conform to the tranquillity of the present quiet week {para} They were indeed a smaller party than she had ever known there for a whole day together and he was gone on whom the comfort and cheerfulness of every family meeting and every meal chiefly depended But this must be learned to be endured He would soon be always gone and she was thankful that she could now sit in the same room with her uncle hear his voice receive his questions and even answer them without such wretched feelings as she had formerly known {para} We miss our two young men was Sir Thomas 's observation on both the first and second day as they formed their very reduced circle after dinner and in consideration of Fanny 's swimming eyes nothing more was said on the first day than to drink their good health but on the second it led to something farther William was kindly commended and his promotion hoped for And there is no reason to suppose added Sir Thomas but that his visits to us may now be tolerably frequent As to Edmund we must learn to do without him This will be the last winter of his belonging to us as he has done {para} Yes said Lady Bertram but I wish he was not going away They are all going away I think I wish they would stay at home {para} This wish was levelled principally at Julia who had just applied for permission to go to town with Maria and as Sir Thomas thought it best for each daughter that the permission should be granted Lady Bertram though in her own good nature she would not have prevented it was lamenting the change it made in the prospect of Julia 's return which would otherwise have taken place about this time A great deal of good sense followed on Sir Thomas 's side tending to reconcile his wife to the arrangement Everything that a considerate parent ought to feel was advanced for her use and everything that an affectionate mother must feel in promoting her children 's enjoyment was attributed to her nature Lady Bertram agreed to it all with a calm Yes and at the end of a quarter of an hour 's silent consideration spontaneously observed Sir Thomas I have been thinking and I am very glad we took Fanny as we did for now the others are away we feel the good of it {para} Sir Thomas immediately improved this compliment by adding Very true We shew Fanny what a good girl we think her by praising her to her face she is now a very valuable companion If we have been kind to her she is now quite as necessary to us {para} Yes said Lady Bertram presently and it is a comfort to think that we shall always have her {para} Sir Thomas paused half smiled glanced at his niece and then gravely replied She will never leave us I hope till invited to some other home that may reasonably promise her greater happiness than she knows here {para} And that is not very likely to be Sir Thomas Who should invite her Maria might be very glad to see her at Sotherton now and then but she would not think of asking her to live there and I am sure she is better off here and besides I cannot do without her {para} The week which passed so quietly and peaceably at the great house in Mansfield had a very different character at the Parsonage To the young lady at least in each family it brought very different feelings What was tranquillity and comfort to Fanny was tediousness and vexation to Mary Something arose from difference of disposition and habit one so easily satisfied the other so unused to endure but still more might be imputed to difference of circumstances In some points of interest they were exactly opposed to each other To Fanny 's mind Edmund 's absence was really in its cause and its tendency a relief To Mary it was every way painful She felt the want of his society every day almost every hour and was too much in want of it to derive anything but irritation from considering the object for which he went He could not have devised anything more likely to raise his consequence than this week 's absence occurring as it did at the very time of her brother 's going away of William Price 's going too and completing the sort of general break up of a party which had been so animated She felt it keenly They were now a miserable trio confined within doors by a series of rain and snow with nothing to do and no variety to hope for Angry as she was with Edmund for adhering to his own notions and acting on them in defiance of her and she had been so angry that they had hardly parted friends at the ball she could not help thinking of him continually when absent dwelling on his merit and affection and longing again for the almost daily meetings they lately had His absence was unnecessarily long He should not have planned such an absence he should not have left home for a week when her own departure from Mansfield was so near Then she began to blame herself She wished she had not spoken so warmly in their last conversation She was afraid she had used some strong some contemptuous expressions in speaking of the clergy and that should not have been It was ill bred it was wrong She wished such words unsaid with all her heart {para} Her vexation did not end with the week All this was bad but she had still more to feel when Friday came round again and brought no Edmund when Saturday came and still no Edmund and when through the slight communication with the other family which Sunday produced she learned that he had actually written home to defer his return having promised to remain some days longer with his friend {para} If she had felt impatience and regret before if she had been sorry for what she said and feared its too strong effect on him she now felt and feared it all tenfold more She had moreover to contend with one disagreeable emotion entirely new to her jealousy His friend Mr Owen had sisters he might find them attractive But at any rate his staying away at a time when according to all preceding plans she was to remove to London meant something that she could not bear Had Henry returned as he talked of doing at the end of three or four days she should now have been leaving Mansfield It became absolutely necessary for her to get to Fanny and try to learn something more She could not live any longer in such solitary wretchedness and she made her way to the Park through difficulties of walking which she had deemed unconquerable a week before for the chance of hearing a little in addition for the sake of at least hearing his name {para} The first half hour was lost for Fanny and Lady Bertram were together and unless she had Fanny to herself she could hope for nothing But at last Lady Bertram left the room and then almost immediately Miss Crawford thus began with a voice as well regulated as she could And how do you like your cousin Edmund 's staying away so long Being the only young person at home I consider you as the greatest sufferer You must miss him Does his staying longer surprise you {para} I do not know said Fanny hesitatingly Yes I had not particularly expected it {para} Perhaps he will always stay longer than he talks of It is the general way all young men do {para} He did not the only time he went to see Mr Owen before {para} He finds the house more agreeable now He is a very a very pleasing young man himself and I cannot help being rather concerned at not seeing him again before I go to London as will now undoubtedly be the case I am looking for Henry every day and as soon as he comes there will be nothing to detain me at Mansfield I should like to have seen him once more I confess But you must give my compliments to him Yes I think it must be compliments Is not there a something wanted Miss Price in our language a something between compliments and and love to suit the sort of friendly acquaintance we have had together So many months acquaintance But compliments may be sufficient here Was his letter a long one Does he give you much account of what he is doing Is it Christmas gaieties that he is staying for {para} I only heard a part of the letter it was to my uncle but I believe it was very short indeed I am sure it was but a few lines All that I heard was that his friend had pressed him to stay longer and that he had agreed to do so A few days longer or some days longer I am not quite sure which {para} Oh if he wrote to his father but I thought it might have been to Lady Bertram or you But if he wrote to his father no wonder he was concise Who could write chat to Sir Thomas If he had written to you there would have been more particulars You would have heard of balls and parties He would have sent you a description of everything and everybody How many Miss Owens are there {para} Three grown up {para} Are they musical {para} I do not at all know I never heard {para} That is the first question you know said Miss Crawford trying to appear gay and unconcerned which every woman who plays herself is sure to ask about another But it is very foolish to ask questions about any young ladies about any three sisters just grown up for one knows without being told exactly what they are all very accomplished and pleasing and one very pretty There is a beauty in every family it is a regular thing Two play on the pianoforte and one on the harp and all sing or would sing if they were taught or sing all the better for not being taught or something like it {para} I know nothing of the Miss Owens said Fanny calmly {para} You know nothing and you care less as people say Never did tone express indifference plainer Indeed how can one care for those one has never seen Well when your cousin comes back he will find Mansfield very quiet all the noisy ones gone your brother and mine and myself I do not like the idea of leaving Mrs Grant now the time draws near She does not like my going {para} Fanny felt obliged to speak You cannot doubt your being missed by many said she You will be very much missed {para} Miss Crawford turned her eye on her as if wanting to hear or see more and then laughingly said Oh yes missed as every noisy evil is missed when it is taken away that is there is a great difference felt But I am not fishing don't compliment me If I am missed it will appear I may be discovered by those who want to see me I shall not be in any doubtful or distant or unapproachable region {para} Now Fanny could not bring herself to speak and Miss Crawford was disappointed for she had hoped to hear some pleasant assurance of her power from one who she thought must know and her spirits were clouded again {para} The Miss Owens said she soon afterwards suppose you were to have one of the Miss Owens settled at Thornton Lacey how should you like it Stranger things have happened I dare say they are trying for it And they are quite in the light for it would be a very pretty establishment for them I do not at all wonder or blame them It is everybody 's duty to do as well for themselves as they can Sir Thomas Bertram 's son is somebody and now he is in their own line Their father is a clergyman and their brother is a clergyman and they are all clergymen together He is their lawful property he fairly belongs to them You don't speak Fanny Miss Price you don't speak But honestly now do not you rather expect it than otherwise {para} No said Fanny stoutly I do not expect it at all {para} Not at all cried Miss Crawford with alacrity I wonder at that But I dare say you know exactly I always imagine you are perhaps you do not think him likely to marry at all or not at present {para} No I do not said Fanny softly hoping she did not err either in the belief or the acknowledgment of it {para} Her companion looked at her keenly and gathering greater spirit from the blush soon produced from such a look only said He is best off as he is and turned the subject {para} CHAPTER XXX {para} Miss Crawford 's uneasiness was much lightened by this conversation and she walked home again in spirits which might have defied almost another week of the same small party in the same bad weather had they been put to the proof but as that very evening brought her brother down from London again in quite or more than quite his usual cheerfulness she had nothing farther to try her own His still refusing to tell her what he had gone for was but the promotion of gaiety a day before it might have irritated but now it was a pleasant joke suspected only of concealing something planned as a pleasant surprise to herself And the next day did bring a surprise to her Henry had said he should just go and ask the Bertrams how they did and be back in ten minutes but he was gone above an hour and when his sister who had been waiting for him to walk with her in the garden met him at last most impatiently in the sweep and cried out My dear Henry where can you have been all this time he had only to say that he had been sitting with Lady Bertram and Fanny {para} Sitting with them an hour and a half exclaimed Mary {para} But this was only the beginning of her surprise {para} Yes Mary said he drawing her arm within his and walking along the sweep as if not knowing where he was I could not get away sooner Fanny looked so lovely I am quite determined Mary My mind is entirely made up Will it astonish you No you must be aware that I am quite determined to marry Fanny Price {para} The surprise was now complete for in spite of whatever his consciousness might suggest a suspicion of his having any such views had never entered his sister 's imagination and she looked so truly the astonishment she felt that he was obliged to repeat what he had said and more fully and more solemnly The conviction of his determination once admitted it was not unwelcome There was even pleasure with the surprise Mary was in a state of mind to rejoice in a connexion with the Bertram family and to be not displeased with her brother 's marrying a little beneath him {para} Yes Mary was Henry 's concluding assurance I am fairly caught You know with what idle designs I began but this is the end of them I have I flatter myself made no inconsiderable progress in her affections but my own are entirely fixed {para} Lucky lucky girl cried Mary as soon as she could speak what a match for her My dearest Henry this must be my first feeling but my second which you shall have as sincerely is that I approve your choice from my soul and foresee your happiness as heartily as I wish and desire it You will have a sweet little wife all gratitude and devotion Exactly what you deserve What an amazing match for her Mrs Norris often talks of her luck what will she say now The delight of all the family indeed And she has some true friends in it How they will rejoice But tell me all about it Talk to me for ever When did you begin to think seriously about her {para} Nothing could be more impossible than to answer such a question though nothing could be more agreeable than to have it asked How the pleasing plague had stolen on him he could not say and before he had expressed the same sentiment with a little variation of words three times over his sister eagerly interrupted him with Ah my dear Henry and this is what took you to London This was your business You chose to consult the Admiral before you made up your mind {para} But this he stoutly denied He knew his uncle too well to consult him on any matrimonial scheme The Admiral hated marriage and thought it never pardonable in a young man of independent fortune {para} When Fanny is known to him continued Henry he will doat on her She is exactly the woman to do away every prejudice of such a man as the Admiral for she he would describe if indeed he has now delicacy of language enough to embody his own ideas But till it is absolutely settled settled beyond all interference he shall know nothing of the matter No Mary you are quite mistaken You have not discovered my business yet {para} Well well I am satisfied I know now to whom it must relate and am in no hurry for the rest Fanny Price wonderful quite wonderful That Mansfield should have done so much for that you should have found your fate in Mansfield But you are quite right you could not have chosen better There is not a better girl in the world and you do not want for fortune and as to her connexions they are more than good The Bertrams are undoubtedly some of the first people in this country She is niece to Sir Thomas Bertram that will be enough for the world But go on go on Tell me more What are your plans Does she know her own happiness {para} No {para} What are you waiting for {para} For for very little more than opportunity Mary she is not like her cousins but I think I shall not ask in vain {para} Oh no you cannot Were you even less pleasing supposing her not to love you already of which however I can have little doubt you would be safe The gentleness and gratitude of her disposition would secure her all your own immediately From my soul I do not think she would marry you without love that is if there is a girl in the world capable of being uninfluenced by ambition I can suppose it her but ask her to love you and she will never have the heart to refuse {para} As soon as her eagerness could rest in silence he was as happy to tell as she could be to listen and a conversation followed almost as deeply interesting to her as to himself though he had in fact nothing to relate but his own sensations nothing to dwell on but Fanny 's charms Fanny 's beauty of face and figure Fanny 's graces of manner and goodness of heart were the exhaustless theme The gentleness modesty and sweetness of her character were warmly expatiated on that sweetness which makes so essential a part of every woman 's worth in the judgment of man that though he sometimes loves where it is not he can never believe it absent Her temper he had good reason to depend on and to praise He had often seen it tried Was there one of the family excepting Edmund who had not in some way or other continually exercised her patience and forbearance Her affections were evidently strong To see her with her brother What could more delightfully prove that the warmth of her heart was equal to its gentleness What could be more encouraging to a man who had her love in view Then her understanding was beyond every suspicion quick and clear and her manners were the mirror of her own modest and elegant mind Nor was this all Henry Crawford had too much sense not to feel the worth of good principles in a wife though he was too little accustomed to serious reflection to know them by their proper name but when he talked of her having such a steadiness and regularity of conduct such a high notion of honour and such an observance of decorum as might warrant any man in the fullest dependence on her faith and integrity he expressed what was inspired by the knowledge of her being well principled and religious {para} I could so wholly and absolutely confide in her said he and that is what I want {para} Well might his sister believing as she really did that his opinion of Fanny Price was scarcely beyond her merits rejoice in her prospects {para} The more I think of it she cried the more am I convinced that you are doing quite right and though I should never have selected Fanny Price as the girl most likely to attach you I am now persuaded she is the very one to make you happy Your wicked project upon her peace turns out a clever thought indeed You will both find your good in it {para} It was bad very bad in me against such a creature but I did not know her then and she shall have no reason to lament the hour that first put it into my head I will make her very happy Mary happier than she has ever yet been herself or ever seen anybody else I will not take her from Northamptonshire I shall let Everingham and rent a place in this neighbourhood perhaps Stanwix Lodge I shall let a seven years lease of Everingham I am sure of an excellent tenant at half a word I could name three people now who would give me my own terms and thank me {para} Ha cried Mary settle in Northamptonshire That is pleasant Then we shall be all together {para} When she had spoken it she recollected herself and wished it unsaid but there was no need of confusion for her brother saw her only as the supposed inmate of Mansfield parsonage and replied but to invite her in the kindest manner to his own house and to claim the best right in her {para} You must give us more than half your time said he I cannot admit Mrs Grant to have an equal claim with Fanny and myself for we shall both have a right in you Fanny will be so truly your sister {para} Mary had only to be grateful and give general assurances but she was now very fully purposed to be the guest of neither brother nor sister many months longer {para} You will divide your year between London and Northamptonshire {para} Yes {para} That 's right and in London of course a house of your own no longer with the Admiral My dearest Henry the advantage to you of getting away from the Admiral before your manners are hurt by the contagion of his before you have contracted any of his foolish opinions or learned to sit over your dinner as if it were the best blessing of life You are not sensible of the gain for your regard for him has blinded you but in my estimation your marrying early may be the saving of you To have seen you grow like the Admiral in word or deed look or gesture would have broken my heart {para} Well well we do not think quite alike here The Admiral has his faults but he is a very good man and has been more than a father to me Few fathers would have let me have my own way half so much You must not prejudice Fanny against him I must have them love one another {para} Mary refrained from saying what she felt that there could not be two persons in existence whose characters and manners were less accordant time would discover it to him but she could not help this reflection on the Admiral Henry I think so highly of Fanny Price that if I could suppose the next Mrs Crawford would have half the reason which my poor ill used aunt had to abhor the very name I would prevent the marriage if possible but I know you I know that a wife you loved would be the happiest of women and that even when you ceased to love she would yet find in you the liberality and good breeding of a gentleman {para} The impossibility of not doing everything in the world to make Fanny Price happy or of ceasing to love Fanny Price was of course the groundwork of his eloquent answer {para} Had you seen her this morning Mary he continued attending with such ineffable sweetness and patience to all the demands of her aunt 's stupidity working with her and for her her colour beautifully heightened as she leant over the work then returning to her seat to finish a note which she was previously engaged in writing for that stupid woman 's service and all this with such unpretending gentleness so much as if it were a matter of course that she was not to have a moment at her own command her hair arranged as neatly as it always is and one little curl falling forward as she wrote which she now and then shook back and in the midst of all this still speaking at intervals to me or listening and as if she liked to listen to what I said Had you seen her so Mary you would not have implied the possibility of her power over my heart ever ceasing {para} My dearest Henry cried Mary stopping short and smiling in his face how glad I am to see you so much in love It quite delights me But what will Mrs Rushworth and Julia say {para} I care neither what they say nor what they feel They will now see what sort of woman it is that can attach me that can attach a man of sense I wish the discovery may do them any good And they will now see their cousin treated as she ought to be and I wish they may be heartily ashamed of their own abominable neglect and unkindness They will be angry he added after a moment 's silence and in a cooler tone Mrs Rushworth will be very angry It will be a bitter pill to her that is like other bitter pills it will have two moments ill flavour and then be swallowed and forgotten for I am not such a coxcomb as to suppose her feelings more lasting than other women 's though I was the object of them Yes Mary my Fanny will feel a difference indeed a daily hourly difference in the behaviour of every being who approaches her and it will be the completion of my happiness to know that I am the doer of it that I am the person to give the consequence so justly her due Now she is dependent helpless friendless neglected forgotten {para} Nay Henry not by all not forgotten by all not friendless or forgotten Her cousin Edmund never forgets her {para} Edmund True I believe he is generally speaking kind to her and so is Sir Thomas in his way but it is the way of a rich superior long worded arbitrary uncle What can Sir Thomas and Edmund together do what do they do for her happiness comfort honour and dignity in the world to what I shall do {para} CHAPTER XXXI {para} Henry Crawford was at Mansfield Park again the next morning and at an earlier hour than common visiting warrants The two ladies were together in the breakfast room and fortunately for him Lady Bertram was on the very point of quitting it as he entered She was almost at the door and not chusing by any means to take so much trouble in vain she still went on after a civil reception a short sentence about being waited for and a Let Sir Thomas know to the servant {para} Henry overjoyed to have her go bowed and watched her off and without losing another moment turned instantly to Fanny and taking out some letters said with a most animated look I must acknowledge myself infinitely obliged to any creature who gives me such an opportunity of seeing you alone I have been wishing it more than you can have any idea Knowing as I do what your feelings as a sister are I could hardly have borne that any one in the house should share with you in the first knowledge of the news I now bring He is made Your brother is a lieutenant I have the infinite satisfaction of congratulating you on your brother 's promotion Here are the letters which announce it this moment come to hand You will perhaps like to see them {para} Fanny could not speak but he did not want her to speak To see the expression of her eyes the change of her complexion the progress of her feelings their doubt confusion and felicity was enough She took the letters as he gave them The first was from the Admiral to inform his nephew in a few words of his having succeeded in the object he had undertaken the promotion of young Price and enclosing two more one from the Secretary of the First Lord to a friend whom the Admiral had set to work in the business the other from that friend to himself by which it appeared that his lordship had the very great happiness of attending to the recommendation of Sir Charles that Sir Charles was much delighted in having such an opportunity of proving his regard for Admiral Crawford and that the circumstance of Mr William Price 's commission as Second Lieutenant of HM Sloop Thrush being made out was spreading general joy through a wide circle of great people {para} While her hand was trembling under these letters her eye running from one to the other and her heart swelling with emotion Crawford thus continued with unfeigned eagerness to express his interest in the event {para} I will not talk of my own happiness said he great as it is for I think only of yours Compared with you who has a right to be happy I have almost grudged myself my own prior knowledge of what you ought to have known before all the world I have not lost a moment however The post was late this morning but there has not been since a moment 's delay How impatient how anxious how wild I have been on the subject I will not attempt to describe how severely mortified how cruelly disappointed in not having it finished while I was in London I was kept there from day to day in the hope of it for nothing less dear to me than such an object would have detained me half the time from Mansfield But though my uncle entered into my wishes with all the warmth I could desire and exerted himself immediately there were difficulties from the absence of one friend and the engagements of another which at last I could no longer bear to stay the end of and knowing in what good hands I left the cause I came away on Monday trusting that many posts would not pass before I should be followed by such very letters as these My uncle who is the very best man in the world has exerted himself as I knew he would after seeing your brother He was delighted with him I would not allow myself yesterday to say how delighted or to repeat half that the Admiral said in his praise I deferred it all till his praise should be proved the praise of a friend as this day does prove it Now I may say that even I could not require William Price to excite a greater interest or be followed by warmer wishes and higher commendation than were most voluntarily bestowed by my uncle after the evening they had passed together {para} Has this been all your doing then cried Fanny Good heaven how very very kind Have you really was it by your desire I beg your pardon but I am bewildered Did Admiral Crawford apply How was it I am stupefied {para} Henry was most happy to make it more intelligible by beginning at an earlier stage and explaining very particularly what he had done His last journey to London had been undertaken with no other view than that of introducing her brother in Hill Street and prevailing on the Admiral to exert whatever interest he might have for getting him on This had been his business He had communicated it to no creature he had not breathed a syllable of it even to Mary while uncertain of the issue he could not have borne any participation of his feelings but this had been his business and he spoke with such a glow of what his solicitude had been and used such strong expressions was so abounding in the deepest interest in twofold motives in views and wishes more than could be told that Fanny could not have remained insensible of his drift had she been able to attend but her heart was so full and her senses still so astonished that she could listen but imperfectly even to what he told her of William and saying only when he paused How kind how very kind Oh Mr Crawford we are infinitely obliged to you Dearest dearest William She jumped up and moved in haste towards the door crying out I will go to my uncle My uncle ought to know it as soon as possible But this could not be suffered The opportunity was too fair and his feelings too impatient He was after her immediately She must not go she must allow him five minutes longer and he took her hand and led her back to her seat and was in the middle of his farther explanation before she had suspected for what she was detained When she did understand it however and found herself expected to believe that she had created sensations which his heart had never known before and that everything he had done for William was to be placed to the account of his excessive and unequalled attachment to her she was exceedingly distressed and for some moments unable to speak She considered it all as nonsense as mere trifling and gallantry which meant only to deceive for the hour she could not but feel that it was treating her improperly and unworthily and in such a way as she had not deserved but it was like himself and entirely of a piece with what she had seen before and she would not allow herself to shew half the displeasure she felt because he had been conferring an obligation which no want of delicacy on his part could make a trifle to her While her heart was still bounding with joy and gratitude on William 's behalf she could not be severely resentful of anything that injured only herself and after having twice drawn back her hand and twice attempted in vain to turn away from him she got up and said only with much agitation Don't Mr Crawford pray don't I beg you would not This is a sort of talking which is very unpleasant to me I must go away I cannot bear it But he was still talking on describing his affection soliciting a return and finally in words so plain as to bear but one meaning even to her offering himself hand fortune everything to her acceptance It was so he had said it Her astonishment and confusion increased and though still not knowing how to suppose him serious she could hardly stand He pressed for an answer {para} No no no she cried hiding her face This is all nonsense Do not distress me I can hear no more of this Your kindness to William makes me more obliged to you than words can express but I do not want I cannot bear I must not listen to such No no don't think of me But you are not thinking of me I know it is all nothing {para} She had burst away from him and at that moment Sir Thomas was heard speaking to a servant in his way towards the room they were in It was no time for farther assurances or entreaty though to part with her at a moment when her modesty alone seemed to his sanguine and preassured mind to stand in the way of the happiness he sought was a cruel necessity She rushed out at an opposite door from the one her uncle was approaching and was walking up and down the East room ill the utmost confusion of contrary feeling before Sir Thomas 's politeness or apologies were over or he had reached the beginning of the joyful intelligence which his visitor came to communicate {para} She was feeling thinking trembling about everything agitated happy miserable infinitely obliged absolutely angry It was all beyond belief He was inexcusable incomprehensible But such were his habits that he could do nothing without a mixture of evil He had previously made her the happiest of human beings and now he had insulted she knew not what to say how to class or how to regard it She would not have him be serious and yet what could excuse the use of such words and offers if they meant but to trifle {para} But William was a lieutenant That was a fact beyond a doubt and without an alloy She would think of it for ever and forget all the rest Mr Crawford would certainly never address her so again he must have seen how unwelcome it was to her and in that case how gratefully she could esteem him for his friendship to William {para} She would not stir farther from the East room than the head of the great staircase till she had satisfied herself of Mr Crawford 's having left the house but when convinced of his being gone she was eager to go down and be with her uncle and have all the happiness of his joy as well as her own and all the benefit of his information or his conjectures as to what would now be William 's destination Sir Thomas was as joyful as she could desire and very kind and communicative and she had so comfortable a talk with him about William as to make her feel as if nothing had occurred to vex her till she found towards the close that Mr Crawford was engaged to return and dine there that very day This was a most unwelcome hearing for though he might think nothing of what had passed it would be quite distressing to her to see him again so soon {para} She tried to get the better of it tried very hard as the dinner hour approached to feel and appear as usual but it was quite impossible for her not to look most shy and uncomfortable when their visitor entered the room She could not have supposed it in the power of any concurrence of circumstances to give her so many painful sensations on the first day of hearing of William 's promotion {para} Mr Crawford was not only in the room he was soon close to her He had a note to deliver from his sister Fanny could not look at him but there was no consciousness of past folly in his voice She opened her note immediately glad to have anything to do and happy as she read it to feel that the fidgetings of her aunt Norris who was also to dine there screened her a little from view {para} My dear Fanny for so I may now always call you to the infinite relief of a tongue that has been stumbling at Miss Price for at least the last six weeks I cannot let my brother go without sending you a few lines of general congratulation and giving my most joyful consent and approval Go on my dear Fanny and without fear there can be no difficulties worth naming I chuse to suppose that the assurance of my consent will be something so you may smile upon him with your sweetest smiles this afternoon and send him back to me even happier than he goes Yours affectionately M C {para} These were not expressions to do Fanny any good for though she read in too much haste and confusion to form the clearest judgment of Miss Crawford 's meaning it was evident that she meant to compliment her on her brother 's attachment and even to appear to believe it serious She did not know what to do or what to think There was wretchedness in the idea of its being serious there was perplexity and agitation every way She was distressed whenever Mr Crawford spoke to her and he spoke to her much too often and she was afraid there was a something in his voice and manner in addressing her very different from what they were when he talked to the others Her comfort in that day 's dinner was quite destroyed she could hardly eat anything and when Sir Thomas good humouredly observed that joy had taken away her appetite she was ready to sink with shame from the dread of Mr Crawford 's interpretation for though nothing could have tempted her to turn her eyes to the right hand where he sat she felt that his were immediately directed towards her {para} She was more silent than ever She would hardly join even when William was the subject for his commission came all from the right hand too and there was pain in the connexion {para} She thought Lady Bertram sat longer than ever and began to be in despair of ever getting away but at last they were in the drawing room and she was able to think as she would while her aunts finished the subject of William 's appointment in their own style {para} Mrs Norris seemed as much delighted with the saving it would be to Sir Thomas as with any part of it Now William would be able to keep himself which would make a vast difference to his uncle for it was unknown how much he had cost his uncle and indeed it would make some difference in her presents too She was very glad that she had given William what she did at parting very glad indeed that it had been in her power without material inconvenience just at that time to give him something rather considerable that is forher with her limited means for now it would all be useful in helping to fit up his cabin She knew he must be at some expense that he would have many things to buy though to be sure his father and mother would be able to put him in the way of getting everything very cheap but she was very glad she had contributed her mite towards it {para} I am glad you gave him something considerable said Lady Bertram with most unsuspicious calmness for I gave him only 10 {para} Indeed cried Mrs Norris reddening Upon my word he must have gone off with his pockets 1 well lined and at no expense for his journey to London either {para} Sir Thomas told me 10 would be enough {para} Mrs Norris being not at all inclined to question its sufficiency began to take the matter in another point {para} It is amazing said she how much young people cost their friends what with bringing them up and putting them out in the world They little think how much it comes to or what their parents or their uncles and aunts pay for them in the course of the year Now here are my sister Price 's children take them all together I dare say nobody would believe what a sum they cost Sir Thomas every year to say nothing of what I do for them {para} Very true sister as you say But poor things they cannot help it and you know it makes very little difference to Sir Thomas Fanny William must not forget my shawl if he goes to the East Indies and I shall give him a commission for anything else that is worth having I wish he may go to the East Indies that I may have my shawl I think I will have two shawls Fanny {para} Fanny meanwhile speaking only when she could not help it was very earnestly trying to understand what Mr and Miss Crawford were at There was everything in the world against their being serious but his words and manner Everything natural probable reasonable was against it all their habits and ways of thinking and all her own demerits How could she have excited serious attachment in a man who had seen so many and been admired by so many and flirted with so many infinitely her superiors who seemed so little open to serious impressions even where pains had been taken to please him who thought so slightly so carelessly so unfeelingly on all such points who was everything to everybody and seemed to find no one essential to him And farther how could it be supposed that his sister with all her high and worldly notions of matrimony would be forwarding anything of a serious nature in such a quarter Nothing could be more unnatural in either Fanny was ashamed of her own doubts Everything might be possible rather than serious attachment or serious approbation of it toward her She had quite convinced herself of this before Sir Thomas and Mr Crawford joined them The difficulty was in maintaining the conviction quite so absolutely after Mr Crawford was in the room for once or twice a look seemed forced on her which she did not know how to class among the common meaning in any other man at least she would have said that it meant something very earnest very pointed But she still tried to believe it no more than what he might often have expressed towards her cousins and fifty other women {para} She thought he was wishing to speak to her unheard by the rest She fancied he was trying for it the whole evening at intervals whenever Sir Thomas was out of the room or at all engaged with Mrs Norris and she carefully refused him every opportunity {para} At last it seemed an at last to Fanny 's nervousness though not remarkably late he began to talk of going away but the comfort of the sound was impaired by his turning to her the next moment and saying Have you nothing to send to Mary No answer to her note She will be disappointed if she receives nothing from you Pray write to her if it be only a line {para} Oh yes certainly cried Fanny rising in haste the haste of embarrassment and of wanting to get away I will write directly {para} She went accordingly to the table where she was in the habit of writing for her aunt and prepared her materials without knowing what in the world to say She had read Miss Crawford 's note only once and how to reply to anything so imperfectly understood was most distressing Quite unpractised in such sort of note writing had there been time for scruples and fears as to style she would have felt them in abundance but something must be instantly written and with only one decided feeling that of wishing not to appear to think anything really intended she wrote thus in great trembling both of spirits and hand {para} I am very much obliged to you my dear Miss Crawford for your kind congratulations as far as they relate to my dearest William The rest of your note I know means nothing but I am so unequal to anything of the sort that I hope you will excuse my begging you to take no farther notice I have seen too much of Mr Crawford not to understand his manners if he understood me as well he would I dare say behave differently I do not know what I write but it would be a great favour of you never to mention the subject again With thanks for the honour of your note I remain dear Miss Crawford etc etc {para} The conclusion was scarcely intelligible from increasing fright for she found that Mr Crawford under pretence of receiving the note was coming towards her {para} You cannot think I mean to hurry you said he in an undervoice perceiving the amazing trepidation with which she made up the note you cannot think I have any such object Do not hurry yourself I entreat {para} Oh I thank you I have quite done just done it will be ready in a moment I am very much obliged to you if you will be so good as to give that to Miss Crawford {para} The note was held out and must be taken and as she instantly and with averted eyes walked towards the fireplace where sat the others he had nothing to do but to go in good earnest {para} Fanny thought she had never known a day of greater agitation both of pain and pleasure but happily the pleasure was not of a sort to die with the day for every day would restore the knowledge of William 's advancement whereas the pain she hoped would return no more She had no doubt that her note must appear excessively ill written that the language would disgrace a child for her distress had allowed no arrangement but at least it would assure them both of her being neither imposed on nor gratified by Mr Crawford 's attentions {para} CHAPTER XXXII {para} Fanny had by no means forgotten Mr Crawford when she awoke the next morning but she remembered the purport of her note and was not less sanguine as to its effect than she had been the night before If Mr Crawford would but go away That was what she most earnestly desired go and take his sister with him as he was to do and as he returned to Mansfield on purpose to do And why it was not done already she could not devise for Miss Crawford certainly wanted no delay Fanny had hoped in the course of his yesterday 's visit to hear the day named but he had only spoken of their journey as what would take place ere long {para} Having so satisfactorily settled the conviction her note would convey she could not but be astonished to see Mr Crawford as she accidentally did coming up to the house again and at an hour as early as the day before His coming might have nothing to do with her but she must avoid seeing him if possible and being then on her way upstairs she resolved there to remain during the whole of his visit unless actually sent for and as Mrs Norris was still in the house there seemed little danger of her being wanted {para} She sat some time in a good deal of agitation listening trembling and fearing to be sent for every moment but as no footsteps approached the East room she grew gradually composed could sit down and be able to employ herself and able to hope that Mr Crawford had come and would go without her being obliged to know anything of the matter {para} Nearly half an hour had passed and she was growing very comfortable when suddenly the sound of a step in regular approach was heard a heavy step an unusual step in that part of the house it was her uncle 's she knew it as well as his voice she had trembled at it as often and began to tremble again at the idea of his coming up to speak to her whatever might be the subject It was indeed Sir Thomas who opened the door and asked if she were there and if he might come in The terror of his former occasional visits to that room seemed all renewed and she felt as if he were going to examine her again in French and English {para} She was all attention however in placing a chair for him and trying to appear honoured and in her agitation had quite overlooked the deficiencies of her apartment till he stopping short as he entered said with much surprise Why have you no fire to day {para} There was snow on the ground and she was sitting in a shawl She hesitated {para} I am not cold sir I never sit here long at this time of year {para} But you have a fire in general {para} No sir {para} How comes this about Here must be some mistake I understood that you had the use of this room by way of making you perfectly comfortable In your bedchamber I know you cannot have a fire Here is some great misapprehension which must be rectified It is highly unfit for you to sit be it only half an hour a day without a fire You are not strong You are chilly Your aunt cannot be aware of this {para} Fanny would rather have been silent but being obliged to speak she could not forbear in justice to the aunt she loved best from saying something in which the words my aunt Norris were distinguishable {para} I understand cried her uncle recollecting himself and not wanting to hear more I understand Your aunt Norris has always been an advocate and very judiciously for young people 's being brought up without unnecessary indulgences but there should be moderation in everything She is also very hardy herself which of course will influence her in her opinion of the wants of others And on another account too I can perfectly comprehend I know what her sentiments have always been The principle was good in itself but it may have been and I believe has been carried too far in your case I am aware that there has been sometimes in some points a misplaced distinction but I think too well of you Fanny to suppose you will ever harbour resentment on that account You have an understanding which will prevent you from receiving things only in part and judging partially by the event You will take in the whole of the past you will consider times persons and probabilities and you will feel that they were not least your friends who were educating and preparing you for that mediocrity of condition which seemed to be your lot Though their caution may prove eventually unnecessary it was kindly meant and of this you may be assured that every advantage of affluence will be doubled by the little privations and restrictions that may have been imposed I am sure you will not disappoint my opinion of you by failing at any time to treat your aunt Norris with the respect and attention that are due to her But enough of this Sit down my dear I must speak to you for a few minutes but I will not detain you long {para} Fanny obeyed with eyes cast down and colour rising After a moment 's pause Sir Thomas trying to suppress a smile went on {para} You are not aware perhaps that I have had a visitor this morning I had not been long in my own room after breakfast when Mr Crawford was shewn in His errand you may probably conjecture {para} Fanny 's colour grew deeper and deeper and her uncle perceiving that she was embarrassed to a degree that made either speaking or looking up quite impossible turned away his own eyes and without any farther pause proceeded in his account of Mr Crawford 's visit {para} Mr Crawford 's business had been to declare himself the lover of Fanny make decided proposals for her and entreat the sanction of the uncle who seemed to stand in the place of her parents and he had done it all so well so openly so liberally so properly that Sir Thomas feeling moreover his own replies and his own remarks to have been very much to the purpose was exceedingly happy to give the particulars of their conversation and little aware of what was passing in his niece 's mind conceived that by such details he must be gratifying her far more than himself He talked therefore for several minutes without Fanny 's daring to interrupt him She had hardly even attained the wish to do it Her mind was in too much confusion She had changed her position and with her eyes fixed intently on one of the windows was listening to her uncle in the utmost perturbation and dismay For a moment he ceased but she had barely become conscious of it when rising from his chair he said And now Fanny having performed one part of my commission and shewn you everything placed on a basis the most assured and satisfactory I may execute the remainder by prevailing on you to accompany me downstairs where though I cannot but presume on having been no unacceptable companion myself I must submit to your finding one still better worth listening to Mr Crawford as you have perhaps foreseen is yet in the house He is in my room and hoping to see you there {para} There was a look a start an exclamation on hearing this which astonished Sir Thomas but what was his increase of astonishment on hearing her exclaim Oh no sir I cannot indeed I cannot go down to him Mr Crawford ought to know he must know that I told him enough yesterday to convince him he spoke to me on this subject yesterday and I told him without disguise that it was very disagreeable to me and quite out of my power to return his good opinion {para} I do not catch your meaning said Sir Thomas sitting down again Out of your power to return his good opinion What is all this I know he spoke to you yesterday and as far as I understand received as much encouragement to proceed as a well judging young woman could permit herself to give I was very much pleased with what I collected to have been your behaviour on the occasion it shewed a discretion highly to be commended But now when he has made his overtures so properly and honourably what are your scruples now {para} You are mistaken sir cried Fanny forced by the anxiety of the moment even to tell her uncle that he was wrong you are quite mistaken How could Mr Crawford say such a thing I gave him no encouragement yesterday On the contrary I told him I cannot recollect my exact words but I am sure I told him that I would not listen to him that it was very unpleasant to me in every respect and that I begged him never to talk to me in that manner again I am sure I said as much as that and more and I should have said still more if I had been quite certain of his meaning anything seriously but I did not like to be I could not bear to be imputing more than might be intended I thought it might all pass for nothing with him {para} She could say no more her breath was almost gone {para} Am I to understand said Sir Thomas after a few moments silence that you mean to refuse Mr Crawford {para} Yes sir {para} Refuse him {para} Yes sir {para} Refuse Mr Crawford Upon what plea For what reason {para} I I cannot like him sir well enough to marry him {para} This is very strange said Sir Thomas in a voice of calm displeasure There is something in this which my comprehension does not reach Here is a young man wishing to pay his addresses to you with everything to recommend him not merely situation in life fortune and character but with more than common agreeableness with address and conversation pleasing to everybody And he is not an acquaintance of to day you have now known him some time His sister moreover is your intimate friend and he has been doing that for your brother which I should suppose would have been almost sufficient recommendation to you had there been no other It is very uncertain when my interest might have got William on He has done it already {para} Yes said Fanny in a faint voice and looking down with fresh shame and she did feel almost ashamed of herself after such a picture as her uncle had drawn for not liking Mr Crawford {para} You must have been aware continued Sir Thomas presently you must have been some time aware of a particularity in Mr Crawford 's manners to you This cannot have taken you by surprise You must have observed his attentions and though you always received them very properly I have no accusation to make on that head I never perceived them to be unpleasant to you I am half inclined to think Fanny that you do not quite know your own feelings {para} Oh yes sir indeed I do His attentions were always what I did not like {para} Sir Thomas looked at her with deeper surprise This is beyond me said he This requires explanation Young as you are and having seen scarcely any one it is hardly possible that your affections {para} He paused and eyed her fixedly He saw her lips formed into a no though the sound was inarticulate but her face was like scarlet That however in so modest a girl might be very compatible with innocence and chusing at least to appear satisfied he quickly added No no I know that is quite out of the question quite impossible Well there is nothing more to be said {para} And for a few minutes he did say nothing He was deep in thought His niece was deep in thought likewise trying to harden and prepare herself against farther questioning She would rather die than own the truth and she hoped by a little reflection to fortify herself beyond betraying it {para} Independently of the interest which Mr Crawford 's choice seemed to justify said Sir Thomas beginning again and very composedly his wishing to marry at all so early is recommendatory to me I am an advocate for early marriages where there are means in proportion and would have every young man with a sufficient income settle as soon after four and twenty as he can This is so much my opinion that I am sorry to think how little likely my own eldest son your cousin Mr Bertram is to marry early but at present as far as I can judge matrimony makes no part of his plans or thoughts I wish he were more likely to fix Here was a glance at Fanny Edmund I consider from his dispositions and habits as much more likely to marry early than his brother He indeed I have lately thought has seen the woman he could love which I am convinced my eldest son has not Am I right Do you agree with me my dear {para} Yes sir {para} It was gently but it was calmly said and Sir Thomas was easy on the score of the cousins But the removal of his alarm did his niece no service as her unaccountableness was confirmed his displeasure increased and getting up and walking about the room with a frown which Fanny could picture to herself though she dared not lift up her eyes he shortly afterwards and in a voice of authority said Have you any reason child to think ill of Mr Crawford 's temper {para} No sir {para} She longed to add But of his principles I have but her heart sunk under the appalling prospect of discussion explanation and probably non conviction Her ill opinion of him was founded chiefly on observations which for her cousins sake she could scarcely dare mention to their father Maria and Julia and especially Maria were so closely implicated in Mr Crawford 's misconduct that she could not give his character such as she believed it without betraying them She had hoped that to a man like her uncle so discerning so honourable so good the simple acknowledgment of settled dislike on her side would have been sufficient To her infinite grief she found it was not {para} Sir Thomas came towards the table where she sat in trembling wretchedness and with a good deal of cold sternness said It is of no use I perceive to talk to you We had better put an end to this most mortifying conference Mr Crawford must not be kept longer waiting I will therefore only add as thinking it my duty to mark my opinion of your conduct that you have disappointed every expectation I had formed and proved yourself of a character the very reverse of what I had supposed For I had Fanny as I think my behaviour must have shewn formed a very favourable opinion of you from the period of my return to England I had thought you peculiarly free from wilfulness of temper self conceit and every tendency to that independence of spirit which prevails so much in modern days even in young women and which in young women is offensive and disgusting beyond all common offence But you have now shewn me that you can be wilful and perverse that you can and will decide for yourself without any consideration or deference for those who have surely some right to guide you without even asking their advice You have shewn yourself very very different from anything that I had imagined The advantage or disadvantage of your family of your parents your brothers and sisters never seems to have had a moment 's share in your thoughts on this occasion How they might be benefited how they must rejoice in such an establishment for you is nothing to you You think only of yourself and because you do not feel for Mr Crawford exactly what a young heated fancy imagines to be necessary for happiness you resolve to refuse him at once without wishing even for a little time to consider of it a little more time for cool consideration and for really examining your own inclinations and are in a wild fit of folly throwing away from you such an opportunity of being settled in life eligibly honourably nobly settled as will probably never occur to you again Here is a young man of sense of character of temper of manners and of fortune exceedingly attached to you and seeking your hand in the most handsome and disinterested way and let me tell you Fanny that you may live eighteen years longer in the world without being addressed by a man of half Mr Crawford 's estate or a tenth part of his merits Gladly would I have bestowed either of my own daughters on him Maria is nobly married but had Mr Crawford sought Julia 's hand I should have given it to him with superior and more heartfelt satisfaction than I gave Maria 's to Mr Rushworth After half a moment 's pause And I should have been very much surprised had either of my daughters on receiving a proposal of marriage at any time which might carry with it only half the eligibility of this immediately and peremptorily and without paying my opinion or my regard the compliment of any consultation put a decided negative on it I should have been much surprised and much hurt by such a proceeding I should have thought it a gross violation of duty and respect You are not to be judged by the same rule You do not owe me the duty of a child But Fanny if your heart can acquit you of ingratitude {para} He ceased Fanny was by this time crying so bitterly that angry as he was he would not press that article farther Her heart was almost broke by such a picture of what she appeared to him by such accusations so heavy so multiplied so rising in dreadful gradation Self willed obstinate selfish and ungrateful He thought her all this She had deceived his expectations she had lost his good opinion What was to become of her {para} I am very sorry said she inarticulately through her tears I am very sorry indeed {para} Sorry yes I hope you are sorry and you will probably have reason to be long sorry for this day 's transactions {para} If it were possible for me to do otherwise said she with another strong effort but I am so perfectly convinced that I could never make him happy and that I should be miserable myself {para} Another burst of tears but in spite of that burst and in spite of that great black word miserable which served to introduce it Sir Thomas began to think a little relenting a little change of inclination might have something to do with it and to augur favourably from the personal entreaty of the young man himself He knew her to be very timid and exceedingly nervous and thought it not improbable that her mind might be in such a state as a little time a little pressing a little patience and a little impatience a judicious mixture of all on the lover 's side might work their usual effect on If the gentleman would but persevere if he had but love enough to persevere Sir Thomas began to have hopes and these reflections having passed across his mind and cheered it Well said he in a tone of becoming gravity but of less anger well child dry up your tears There is no use in these tears they can do no good You must now come downstairs with me Mr Crawford has been kept waiting too long already You must give him your own answer we cannot expect him to be satisfied with less and you only can explain to him the grounds of that misconception of your sentiments which unfortunately for himself he certainly has imbibed I am totally unequal to it {para} But Fanny shewed such reluctance such misery at the idea of going down to him that Sir Thomas after a little consideration judged it better to indulge her His hopes from both gentleman and lady suffered a small depression in consequence but when he looked at his niece and saw the state of feature and complexion which her crying had brought her into he thought there might be as much lost as gained by an immediate interview With a few words therefore of no particular meaning he walked off by himself leaving his poor niece to sit and cry over what had passed with very wretched feelings {para} Her mind was all disorder The past present future everything was terrible But her uncle 's anger gave her the severest pain of all Selfish and ungrateful to have appeared so to him She was miserable for ever She had no one to take her part to counsel or speak for her Her only friend was absent He might have softened his father but all perhaps all would think her selfish and ungrateful She might have to endure the reproach again and again she might hear it or see it or know it to exist for ever in every connexion about her She could not but feel some resentment against Mr Crawford yet if he really loved her and were unhappy too It was all wretchedness together {para} In about a quarter of an hour her uncle returned she was almost ready to faint at the sight of him He spoke calmly however without austerity without reproach and she revived a little There was comfort too in his words as well as his manner for he began with Mr Crawford is gone he has just left me I need not repeat what has passed I do not want to add to anything you may now be feeling by an account of what he has felt Suffice it that he has behaved in the most gentlemanlike and generous manner and has confirmed me in a most favourable opinion of his understanding heart and temper Upon my representation of what you were suffering he immediately and with the greatest delicacy ceased to urge to see you for the present {para} Here Fanny who had looked up looked down again Of course continued her uncle it cannot be supposed but that he should request to speak with you alone be it only for five minutes a request too natural a claim too just to be denied But there is no time fixed perhaps to morrow or whenever your spirits are composed enough For the present you have only to tranquillise yourself Check these tears they do but exhaust you If as I am willing to suppose you wish to shew me any observance you will not give way to these emotions but endeavour to reason yourself into a stronger frame of mind I advise you to go out the air will do you good go out for an hour on the gravel you will have the shrubbery to yourself and will be the better for air and exercise And Fanny turning back again for a moment I shall make no mention below of what has passed I shall not even tell your aunt Bertram There is no occasion for spreading the disappointment say nothing about it yourself {para} This was an order to be most joyfully obeyed this was an act of kindness which Fanny felt at her heart To be spared from her aunt Norris 's interminable reproaches he left her in a glow of gratitude Anything might be bearable rather than such reproaches Even to see Mr Crawford would be less overpowering {para} She walked out directly as her uncle recommended and followed his advice throughout as far as she could did check her tears did earnestly try to compose her spirits and strengthen her mind She wished to prove to him that she did desire his comfort and sought to regain his favour and he had given her another strong motive for exertion in keeping the whole affair from the knowledge of her aunts Not to excite suspicion by her look or manner was now an object worth attaining and she felt equal to almost anything that might save her from her aunt Norris {para} She was struck quite struck when on returning from her walk and going into the East room again the first thing which caught her eye was a fire lighted and burning A fire it seemed too much just at that time to be giving her such an indulgence was exciting even painful gratitude She wondered that Sir Thomas could have leisure to think of such a trifle again but she soon found from the voluntary information of the housemaid who came in to attend it that so it was to be every day Sir Thomas had given orders for it {para} I must be a brute indeed if I can be really ungrateful said she in soliloquy Heaven defend me from being ungrateful {para} She saw nothing more of her uncle nor of her aunt Norris till they met at dinner Her uncle 's behaviour to her was then as nearly as possible what it had been before she was sure he did not mean there should be any change and that it was only her own conscience that could fancy any but her aunt was soon quarrelling with her and when she found how much and how unpleasantly her having only walked out without her aunt 's knowledge could be dwelt on she felt all the reason she had to bless the kindness which saved her from the same spirit of reproach exerted on a more momentous subject {para} If I had known you were going out I should have got you just to go as far as my house with some orders for Nanny said she which I have since to my very great inconvenience been obliged to go and carry myself I could very ill spare the time and you might have saved me the trouble if you would only have been so good as to let us know you were going out It would have made no difference to you I suppose whether you had walked in the shrubbery or gone to my house {para} I recommended the shrubbery to Fanny as the driest place said Sir Thomas {para} Oh said Mrs Norris with a moment 's check that was very kind of you Sir Thomas but you do not know how dry the path is to my house Fanny would have had quite as good a walk there I assure you with the advantage of being of some use and obliging her aunt it is all her fault If she would but have let us know she was going out but there is a something about Fanny I have often observed it before she likes to go her own way to work she does not like to be dictated to she takes her own independent walk whenever she can she certainly has a little spirit of secrecy and independence and nonsense about her which I would advise her to get the better of {para} As a general reflection on Fanny Sir Thomas thought nothing could be more unjust though he had been so lately expressing the same sentiments himself and he tried to turn the conversation tried repeatedly before he could succeed for Mrs Norris had not discernment enough to perceive either now or at any other time to what degree he thought well of his niece or how very far he was from wishing to have his own children 's merits set off by the depreciation of hers She was talking at Fanny and resenting this private walk half through the dinner {para} It was over however at last and the evening set in with more composure to Fanny and more cheerfulness of spirits than she could have hoped for after so stormy a morning but she trusted in the first place that she had done right that her judgment had not misled her For the purity of her intentions she could answer and she was willing to hope secondly that her uncle 's displeasure was abating and would abate farther as he considered the matter with more impartiality and felt as a good man must feel how wretched and how unpardonable how hopeless and how wicked it was to marry without affection {para} When the meeting with which she was threatened for the morrow was past she could not but flatter herself that the subject would be finally concluded and Mr Crawford once gone from Mansfield that everything would soon be as if no such subject had existed She would not could not believe that Mr Crawford 's affection for her could distress him long his mind was not of that sort London would soon bring its cure In London he would soon learn to wonder at his infatuation and be thankful for the right reason in her which had saved him from its evil consequences {para} While Fanny 's mind was engaged in these sort of hopes her uncle was soon after tea called out of the room an occurrence too common to strike her and she thought nothing of it till the butler reappeared ten minutes afterwards and advancing decidedly towards herself said Sir Thomas wishes to speak with you ma'am in his own room Then it occurred to her what might be going on a suspicion rushed over her mind which drove the colour from her cheeks but instantly rising she was preparing to obey when Mrs Norris called out Stay stay Fanny what are you about where are you going don't be in such a hurry Depend upon it it is not you who are wanted depend upon it it is me looking at the butler but you are so very eager to put yourself forward What should Sir Thomas want you for It is me Baddeley you mean I am coming this moment You mean me Baddeley I am sure Sir Thomas wants me not Miss Price {para} But Baddeley was stout No ma'am it is Miss Price I am certain of its being Miss Price And there was a half smile with the words which meant I do not think you would answer the purpose at all {para} Mrs Norris much discontented was obliged to compose herself to work again and Fanny walking off in agitating consciousness found herself as she anticipated in another minute alone with Mr Crawford {para} CHAPTER XXXIII {para} The conference was neither so short nor so conclusive as the lady had designed The gentleman was not so easily satisfied He had all the disposition to persevere that Sir Thomas could wish him He had vanity which strongly inclined him in the first place to think she did love him though she might not know it herself and which secondly when constrained at last to admit that she did know her own present feelings convinced him that he should be able in time to make those feelings what he wished {para} He was in love very much in love and it was a love which operating on an active sanguine spirit of more warmth than delicacy made her affection appear of greater consequence because it was withheld and determined him to have the glory as well as the felicity of forcing her to love him {para} He would not despair he would not desist He had every well grounded reason for solid attachment he knew her to have all the worth that could justify the warmest hopes of lasting happiness with her her conduct at this very time by speaking the disinterestedness and delicacy of her character qualities which he believed most rare indeed was of a sort to heighten all his wishes and confirm all his resolutions He knew not that he had a pre engaged heart to attack Of that he had no suspicion He considered her rather as one who had never thought on the subject enough to be in danger who had been guarded by youth a youth of mind as lovely as of person whose modesty had prevented her from understanding his attentions and who was still overpowered by the suddenness of addresses so wholly unexpected and the novelty of a situation which her fancy had never taken into account {para} Must it not follow of course that when he was understood he should succeed He believed it fully Love such as his in a man like himself must with perseverance secure a return and at no great distance and he had so much delight in the idea of obliging her to love him in a very short time that her not loving him now was scarcely regretted A little difficulty to be overcome was no evil to Henry Crawford He rather derived spirits from it He had been apt to gain hearts too easily His situation was new and animating {para} To Fanny however who had known too much opposition all her life to find any charm in it all this was unintelligible She found that he did mean to persevere but how he could after such language from her as she felt herself obliged to use was not to be understood She told him that she did not love him could not love him was sure she never should love him that such a change was quite impossible that the subject was most painful to her that she must entreat him never to mention it again to allow her to leave him at once and let it be considered as concluded for ever And when farther pressed had added that in her opinion their dispositions were so totally dissimilar as to make mutual affection incompatible and that they were unfitted for each other by nature education and habit All this she had said and with the earnestness of sincerity yet this was not enough for he immediately denied there being anything uncongenial in their characters or anything unfriendly in their situations and positively declared that he would still love and still hope {para} Fanny knew her own meaning but was no judge of her own manner Her manner was incurably gentle and she was not aware how much it concealed the sternness of her purpose Her diffidence gratitude and softness made every expression of indifference seem almost an effort of self denial seem at least to be giving nearly as much pain to herself as to him Mr Crawford was no longer the Mr Crawford who as the clandestine insidious treacherous admirer of Maria Bertram had been her abhorrence whom she had hated to see or to speak to in whom she could believe no good quality to exist and whose power even of being agreeable she had barely acknowledged He was now the Mr Crawford who was addressing herself with ardent disinterested love whose feelings were apparently become all that was honourable and upright whose views of happiness were all fixed on a marriage of attachment who was pouring out his sense of her merits describing and describing again his affection proving as far as words could prove it and in the language tone and spirit of a man of talent too that he sought her for her gentleness and her goodness and to complete the whole he was now the Mr Crawford who had procured William 's promotion {para} Here was a change and here were claims which could not but operate She might have disdained him in all the dignity of angry virtue in the grounds of Sotherton or the theatre at Mansfield Park but he approached her now with rights that demanded different treatment She must be courteous and she must be compassionate She must have a sensation of being honoured and whether thinking of herself or her brother she must have a strong feeling of gratitude The effect of the whole was a manner so pitying and agitated and words intermingled with her refusal so expressive of obligation and concern that to a temper of vanity and hope like Crawford 's the truth or at least the strength of her indifference might well be questionable and he was not so irrational as Fanny considered him in the professions of persevering assiduous and not desponding attachment which closed the interview {para} It was with reluctance that he suffered her to go but there was no look of despair in parting to belie his words or give her hopes of his being less unreasonable than he professed himself {para} Now she was angry Some resentment did arise at a perseverance so selfish and ungenerous Here was again a want of delicacy and regard for others which had formerly so struck and disgusted her Here was again a something of the same Mr Crawford whom she had so reprobated before How evidently was there a gross want of feeling and humanity where his own pleasure was concerned and alas how always known no principle to supply as a duty what the heart was deficient in Had her own affections been as free as perhaps they ought to have been he never could have engaged them {para} So thought Fanny in good truth and sober sadness as she sat musing over that too great indulgence and luxury of a fire upstairs wondering at the past and present wondering at what was yet to come and in a nervous agitation which made nothing clear to her but the persuasion of her being never under any circumstances able to love Mr Crawford and the felicity of having a fire to sit over and think of it {para} Sir Thomas was obliged or obliged himself to wait till the morrow for a knowledge of what had passed between the young people He then saw Mr Crawford and received his account The first feeling was disappointment he had hoped better things he had thought that an hour 's entreaty from a young man like Crawford could not have worked so little change on a gentle tempered girl like Fanny but there was speedy comfort in the determined views and sanguine perseverance of the lover and when seeing such confidence of success in the principal Sir Thomas was soon able to depend on it himself {para} Nothing was omitted on his side of civility compliment or kindness that might assist the plan Mr Crawford 's steadiness was honoured and Fanny was praised and the connexion was still the most desirable in the world At Mansfield Park Mr Crawford would always be welcome he had only to consult his own judgment and feelings as to the frequency of his visits at present or in future In all his niece 's family and friends there could be but one opinion one wish on the subject the influence of all who loved her must incline one way {para} Everything was said that could encourage every encouragement received with grateful joy and the gentlemen parted the best of friends {para} Satisfied that the cause was now on a footing the most proper and hopeful Sir Thomas resolved to abstain from all farther importunity with his niece and to shew no open interference Upon her disposition he believed kindness might be the best way of working Entreaty should be from one quarter only The forbearance of her family on a point respecting which she could be in no doubt of their wishes might be their surest means of forwarding it Accordingly on this principle Sir Thomas took the first opportunity of saying to her with a mild gravity intended to be overcoming Well Fanny I have seen Mr Crawford again and learn from him exactly how matters stand between you He is a most extraordinary young man and whatever be the event you must feel that you have created an attachment of no common character though young as you are and little acquainted with the transient varying unsteady nature of love as it generally exists you cannot be struck as I am with all that is wonderful in a perseverance of this sort against discouragement With him it is entirely a matter of feeling he claims no merit in it perhaps is entitled to none Yet having chosen so well his constancy has a respectable stamp Had his choice been less unexceptionable I should have condemned his persevering {para} Indeed sir said Fanny I am very sorry that Mr Crawford should continue to know that it is paying me a very great compliment and I feel most undeservedly honoured but I am so perfectly convinced and I have told him so that it never will be in my power {para} My dear interrupted Sir Thomas there is no occasion for this Your feelings are as well known to me as my wishes and regrets must be to you There is nothing more to be said or done From this hour the subject is never to be revived between us You will have nothing to fear or to be agitated about You cannot suppose me capable of trying to persuade you to marry against your inclinations Your happiness and advantage are all that I have in view and nothing is required of you but to bear with Mr Crawford 's endeavours to convince you that they may not be incompatible with his He proceeds at his own risk You are on safe ground I have engaged for your seeing him whenever he calls as you might have done had nothing of this sort occurred You will see him with the rest of us in the same manner and as much as you can dismissing the recollection of everything unpleasant He leaves Northamptonshire so soon that even this slight sacrifice cannot be often demanded The future must be very uncertain And now my dear Fanny this subject is closed between us {para} The promised departure was all that Fanny could think of with much satisfaction Her uncle 's kind expressions however and forbearing manner were sensibly felt and when she considered how much of the truth was unknown to him she believed she had no right to wonder at the line of conduct he pursued He who had married a daughter to Mr Rushworth romantic delicacy was certainly not to be expected from him She must do her duty and trust that time might make her duty easier than it now was {para} She could not though only eighteen suppose Mr Crawford 's attachment would hold out for ever she could not but imagine that steady unceasing discouragement from herself would put an end to it in time How much time she might in her own fancy allot for its dominion is another concern It would not be fair to inquire into a young lady 's exact estimate of her own perfections {para} In spite of his intended silence Sir Thomas found himself once more obliged to mention the subject to his niece to prepare her briefly for its being imparted to her aunts a measure which he would still have avoided if possible but which became necessary from the totally opposite feelings of Mr Crawford as to any secrecy of proceeding He had no idea of concealment It was all known at the Parsonage where he loved to talk over the future with both his sisters and it would be rather gratifying to him to have enlightened witnesses of the progress of his success When Sir Thomas understood this he felt the necessity of making his own wife and sister in law acquainted with the business without delay though on Fanny 's account he almost dreaded the effect of the communication to Mrs Norris as much as Fanny herself He deprecated her mistaken but well meaning zeal Sir Thomas indeed was by this time not very far from classing Mrs Norris as one of those well meaning people who are always doing mistaken and very disagreeable things {para} Mrs Norris however relieved him He pressed for the strictest forbearance and silence towards their niece she not only promised but did observe it She only looked her increased ill will Angry she was bitterly angry but she was more angry with Fanny for having received such an offer than for refusing it It was an injury and affront to Julia who ought to have been Mr Crawford 's choice and independently of that she disliked Fanny because she had neglected her and she would have grudged such an elevation to one whom she had been always trying to depress {para} Sir Thomas gave her more credit for discretion on the occasion than she deserved and Fanny could have blessed her for allowing her only to see her displeasure and not to hear it {para} Lady Bertram took it differently She had been a beauty and a prosperous beauty all her life and beauty and wealth were all that excited her respect To know Fanny to be sought in marriage by a man of fortune raised her therefore very much in her opinion By convincing her that Fanny was very pretty which she had been doubting about before and that she would be advantageously married it made her feel a sort of credit in calling her niece {para} Well Fanny said she as soon as they were alone together afterwards and she really had known something like impatience to be alone with her and her countenance as she spoke had extraordinary animation Well Fanny I have had a very agreeable surprise this morning I must just speak of it once I told Sir Thomas I must once and then I shall have done I give you joy my dear niece And looking at her complacently she added Humph we certainly are a handsome family {para} Fanny coloured and doubted at first what to say when hoping to assail her on her vulnerable side she presently answered {para} My dear aunt you cannot wish me to do differently from what I have done I am sure You cannot wish me to marry for you would miss me should not you Yes I am sure you would miss me too much for that {para} No my dear I should not think of missing you when such an offer as this comes in your way I could do very well without you if you were married to a man of such good estate as Mr Crawford And you must be aware Fanny that it is every young woman 's duty to accept such a very unexceptionable offer as this {para} This was almost the only rule of conduct the only piece of advice which Fanny had ever received from her aunt in the course of eight years and a half It silenced her She felt how unprofitable contention would be If her aunt 's feelings were against her nothing could be hoped from attacking her understanding Lady Bertram was quite talkative {para} I will tell you what Fanny said she I am sure he fell in love with you at the ball I am sure the mischief was done that evening You did look remarkably well Everybody said so Sir Thomas said so And you know you had Chapman to help you to dress I am very glad I sent Chapman to you I shall tell Sir Thomas that I am sure it was done that evening And still pursuing the same cheerful thoughts she soon afterwards added And will tell you what Fanny which is more than I did for Maria the next time Pug has a litter you shall have a puppy {para} CHAPTER XXXIV {para} Edmund had great things to hear on his return Many surprises were awaiting him The first that occurred was not least in interest the appearance of Henry Crawford and his sister walking together through the village as he rode into it He had concluded he had meant them to be far distant His absence had been extended beyond a fortnight purposely to avoid Miss Crawford He was returning to Mansfield with spirits ready to feed on melancholy remembrances and tender associations when her own fair self was before him leaning on her brother 's arm and he found himself receiving a welcome unquestionably friendly from the woman whom two moments before he had been thinking of as seventy miles off and as farther much farther from him in inclination than any distance could express {para} Her reception of him was of a sort which he could not have hoped for had he expected to see her Coming as he did from such a purport fulfilled as had taken him away he would have expected anything rather than a look of satisfaction and words of simple pleasant meaning It was enough to set his heart in a glow and to bring him home in the properest state for feeling the full value of the other joyful surprises at hand {para} William 's promotion with all its particulars he was soon master of and with such a secret provision of comfort within his own breast to help the joy he found in it a source of most gratifying sensation and unvarying cheerfulness all dinner time {para} After dinner when he and his father were alone he had Fanny 's history and then all the great events of the last fortnight and the present situation of matters at Mansfield were known to him {para} Fanny suspected what was going on They sat so much longer than usual in the dining parlour that she was sure they must be talking of her and when tea at last brought them away and she was to be seen by Edmund again she felt dreadfully guilty He came to her sat down by her took her hand and pressed it kindly and at that moment she thought that but for the occupation and the scene which the tea things afforded she must have betrayed her emotion in some unpardonable excess {para} He was not intending however by such action to be conveying to her that unqualified approbation and encouragement which her hopes drew from it It was designed only to express his participation in all that interested her and to tell her that he had been hearing what quickened every feeling of affection He was in fact entirely on his father 's side of the question His surprise was not so great as his father 's at her refusing Crawford because so far from supposing her to consider him with anything like a preference he had always believed it to be rather the reverse and could imagine her to be taken perfectly unprepared but Sir Thomas could not regard the connexion as more desirable than he did It had every recommendation to him and while honouring her for what she had done under the influence of her present indifference honouring her in rather stronger terms than Sir Thomas could quite echo he was most earnest in hoping and sanguine in believing that it would be a match at last and that united by mutual affection it would appear that their dispositions were as exactly fitted to make them blessed in each other as he was now beginning seriously to consider them Crawford had been too precipitate He had not given her time to attach herself He had begun at the wrong end With such powers as his however and such a disposition as hers Edmund trusted that everything would work out a happy conclusion Meanwhile he saw enough of Fanny 's embarrassment to make him scrupulously guard against exciting it a second time by any word or look or movement {para} Crawford called the next day and on the score of Edmund 's return Sir Thomas felt himself more than licensed to ask him to stay dinner it was really a necessary compliment He staid of course and Edmund had then ample opportunity for observing how he sped with Fanny and what degree of immediate encouragement for him might be extracted from her manners and it was so little so very very little every chance every possibility of it resting upon her embarrassment only if there was not hope in her confusion there was hope in nothing else that he was almost ready to wonder at his friend 's perseverance Fanny was worth it all he held her to be worth every effort of patience every exertion of mind but he did not think he could have gone on himself with any woman breathing without something more to warm his courage than his eyes could discern in hers He was very willing to hope that Crawford saw clearer and this was the most comfortable conclusion for his friend that he could come to from all that he observed to pass before and at and after dinner {para} In the evening a few circumstances occurred which he thought more promising When he and Crawford walked into the drawing room his mother and Fanny were sitting as intently and silently at work as if there were nothing else to care for Edmund could not help noticing their apparently deep tranquillity {para} We have not been so silent all the time replied his mother Fanny has been reading to me and only put the book down upon hearing you coming And sure enough there was a book on the table which had the air of being very recently closed a volume of Shakespeare She often reads to me out of those books and she was in the middle of a very fine speech of that man 's what 's his name Fanny when we heard your footsteps {para} Crawford took the volume Let me have the pleasure of finishing that speech to your ladyship said he I shall find it immediately And by carefully giving way to the inclination of the leaves he did find it or within a page or two quite near enough to satisfy Lady Bertram who assured him as soon as he mentioned the name of Cardinal Wolsey that he had got the very speech Not a look or an offer of help had Fanny given not a syllable for or against All her attention was for her work She seemed determined to be interested by nothing else But taste was too strong in her She could not abstract her mind five minutes she was forced to listen his reading was capital and her pleasure in good reading extreme To good reading however she had been long used her uncle read well her cousins all Edmund very well but in Mr Crawford 's reading there was a variety of excellence beyond what she had ever met with The King the Queen Buckingham Wolsey Cromwell all were given in turn for with the happiest knack the happiest power of jumping and guessing he could always alight at will on the best scene or the best speeches of each and whether it were dignity or pride or tenderness or remorse or whatever were to be expressed he could do it with equal beauty It was truly dramatic His acting had first taught Fanny what pleasure a play might give and his reading brought all his acting before her again nay perhaps with greater enjoyment for it came unexpectedly and with no such drawback as she had been used to suffer in seeing him on the stage with Miss Bertram {para} Edmund watched the progress of her attention and was amused and gratified by seeing how she gradually slackened in the needlework which at the beginning seemed to occupy her totally how it fell from her hand while she sat motionless over it and at last how the eyes which had appeared so studiously to avoid him throughout the day were turned and fixed on Crawford fixed on him for minutes fixed on him in short till the attraction drew Crawford 's upon her and the book was closed and the charm was broken Then she was shrinking again into herself and blushing and working as hard as ever but it had been enough to give Edmund encouragement for his friend and as he cordially thanked him he hoped to be expressing Fanny 's secret feelings too {para} That play must be a favourite with you said he you read as if you knew it well {para} It will be a favourite I believe from this hour replied Crawford but I do not think I have had a volume of Shakespeare in my hand before since I was fifteen I once saw Henry the Eighth acted or I have heard of it from somebody who did I am not certain which But Shakespeare one gets acquainted with without knowing how It is a part of an Englishman 's constitution His thoughts and beauties are so spread abroad that one touches them everywhere one is intimate with him by instinct No man of any brain can open at a good part of one of his plays without falling into the flow of his meaning immediately {para} No doubt one is familiar with Shakespeare in a degree said Edmund from one 's earliest years His celebrated passages are quoted by everybody they are in half the books we open and we all talk Shakespeare use his similes and describe with his descriptions but this is totally distinct from giving his sense as you gave it To know him in bits and scraps is common enough to know him pretty thoroughly is perhaps not uncommon but to read him well aloud is no everyday talent {para} Sir you do me honour was Crawford 's answer with a bow of mock gravity {para} Both gentlemen had a glance at Fanny to see if a word of accordant praise could be extorted from her yet both feeling that it could not be Her praise had been given in her attention that must content them {para} Lady Bertram 's admiration was expressed and strongly too It was really like being at a play said she I wish Sir Thomas had been here {para} Crawford was excessively pleased If Lady Bertram with all her incompetency and languor could feel this the inference of what her niece alive and enlightened as she was must feel was elevating {para} You have a great turn for acting I am sure Mr Crawford said her ladyship soon afterwards and I will tell you what I think you will have a theatre some time or other at your house in Norfolk I mean when you are settled there I do indeed I think you will fit up a theatre at your house in Norfolk {para} Do you ma'am cried he with quickness No no that will never be Your ladyship is quite mistaken No theatre at Everingham Oh no And he looked at Fanny with an expressive smile which evidently meant That lady will never allow a theatre at Everingham {para} Edmund saw it all and saw Fanny so determined not to see it as to make it clear that the voice was enough to convey the full meaning of the protestation and such a quick consciousness of compliment such a ready comprehension of a hint he thought was rather favourable than not {para} The subject of reading aloud was farther discussed The two young men were the only talkers but they standing by the fire talked over the too common neglect of the qualification the total inattention to it in the ordinary school system for boys the consequently natural yet in some instances almost unnatural degree of ignorance and uncouthness of men of sensible and well informed men when suddenly called to the necessity of reading aloud which had fallen within their notice giving instances of blunders and failures with their secondary causes the want of management of the voice of proper modulation and emphasis of foresight and judgment all proceeding from the first cause want of early attention and habit and Fanny was listening again with great entertainment {para} Even in my profession said Edmund with a smile how little the art of reading has been studied how little a clear manner and good delivery have been attended to I speak rather of the past however than the present There is now a spirit of improvement abroad but among those who were ordained twenty thirty forty years ago the larger number to judge by their performance must have thought reading was reading and preaching was preaching It is different now The subject is more justly considered It is felt that distinctness and energy may have weight in recommending the most solid truths and besides there is more general observation and taste a more critical knowledge diffused than formerly in every congregation there is a larger proportion who know a little of the matter and who can judge and criticise {para} Edmund had already gone through the service once since his ordination and upon this being understood he had a variety of questions from Crawford as to his feelings and success questions which being made though with the vivacity of friendly interest and quick taste without any touch of that spirit of banter or air of levity which Edmund knew to be most offensive to Fanny he had true pleasure in satisfying and when Crawford proceeded to ask his opinion and give his own as to the properest manner in which particular passages in the service should be delivered shewing it to be a subject on which he had thought before and thought with judgment Edmund was still more and more pleased This would be the way to Fanny 's heart She was not to be won by all that gallantry and wit and good nature together could do or at least she would not be won by them nearly so soon without the assistance of sentiment and feeling and seriousness on serious subjects {para} Our liturgy observed Crawford has beauties which not even a careless slovenly style of reading can destroy but it has also redundancies and repetitions which require good reading not to be felt For myself at least I must confess being not always so attentive as I ought to be here was a glance at Fanny that nineteen times out of twenty I am thinking how such a prayer ought to be read and longing to have it to read myself Did you speak stepping eagerly to Fanny and addressing her in a softened voice and upon her saying No he added Are you sure you did not speak I saw your lips move I fancied you might be going to tell me I ought to be more attentive and not allow my thoughts to wander Are not you going to tell me so {para} No indeed you know your duty too well for me to even supposing {para} She stopt felt herself getting into a puzzle and could not be prevailed on to add another word not by dint of several minutes of supplication and waiting He then returned to his former station and went on as if there had been no such tender interruption {para} A sermon well delivered is more uncommon even than prayers well read A sermon good in itself is no rare thing It is more difficult to speak well than to compose well that is the rules and trick of composition are oftener an object of study A thoroughly good sermon thoroughly well delivered is a capital gratification I can never hear such a one without the greatest admiration and respect and more than half a mind to take orders and preach myself There is something in the eloquence of the pulpit when it is really eloquence which is entitled to the highest praise and honour The preacher who can touch and affect such an heterogeneous mass of hearers on subjects limited and long worn threadbare in all common hands who can say anything new or striking anything that rouses the attention without offending the taste or wearing out the feelings of his hearers is a man whom one could not in his public capacity honour enough I should like to be such a man {para} Edmund laughed {para} I should indeed I never listened to a distinguished preacher in my life without a sort of envy But then I must have a London audience I could not preach but to the educated to those who were capable of estimating my composition And I do not know that I should be fond of preaching often now and then perhaps once or twice in the spring after being anxiously expected for half a dozen Sundays together but not for a constancy it would not do for a constancy {para} Here Fanny who could not but listen involuntarily shook her head and Crawford was instantly by her side again entreating to know her meaning and as Edmund perceived by his drawing in a chair and sitting down close by her that it was to be a very thorough attack that looks and undertones were to be well tried he sank as quietly as possible into a corner turned his back and took up a newspaper very sincerely wishing that dear little Fanny might be persuaded into explaining away that shake of the head to the satisfaction of her ardent lover and as earnestly trying to bury every sound of the business from himself in murmurs of his own over the various advertisements of A most desirable Estate in South Wales To Parents and Guardians and a Capital season 'd Hunter {para} Fanny meanwhile vexed with herself for not having been as motionless as she was speechless and grieved to the heart to see Edmund 's arrangements was trying by everything in the power of her modest gentle nature to repulse Mr Crawford and avoid both his looks and inquiries and he unrepulsable was persisting in both {para} What did that shake of the head mean said he What was it meant to express Disapprobation I fear But of what What had I been saying to displease you Did you think me speaking improperly lightly irreverently on the subject Only tell me if I was Only tell me if I was wrong I want to be set right Nay nay I entreat you for one moment put down your work What did that shake of the head mean {para} In vain was her Pray sir don't pray Mr Crawford repeated twice over and in vain did she try to move away In the same low eager voice and the same close neighbourhood he went on reurging the same questions as before She grew more agitated and displeased {para} How can you sir You quite astonish me I wonder how you can {para} Do I astonish you said he Do you wonder Is there anything in my present entreaty that you do not understand I will explain to you instantly all that makes me urge you in this manner all that gives me an interest in what you look and do and excites my present curiosity I will not leave you to wonder long {para} In spite of herself she could not help half a smile but she said nothing {para} You shook your head at my acknowledging that I should not like to engage in the duties of a clergyman always for a constancy Yes that was the word Constancy I am not afraid of the word I would spell it read it write it with anybody I see nothing alarming in the word Did you think I ought {para} Perhaps sir said Fanny wearied at last into speaking perhaps sir I thought it was a pity you did not always know yourself as well as you seemed to do at that moment {para} Crawford delighted to get her to speak at any rate was determined to keep it up and poor Fanny who had hoped to silence him by such an extremity of reproof found herself sadly mistaken and that it was only a change from one object of curiosity and one set of words to another He had always something to entreat the explanation of The opportunity was too fair None such had occurred since his seeing her in her uncle 's room none such might occur again before his leaving Mansfield Lady Bertram 's being just on the other side of the table was a trifle for she might always be considered as only half awake and Edmund 's advertisements were still of the first utility {para} Well said Crawford after a course of rapid questions and reluctant answers I am happier than I was because I now understand more clearly your opinion of me You think me unsteady easily swayed by the whim of the moment easily tempted easily put aside With such an opinion no wonder that But we shall see It is not by protestations that I shall endeavour to convince you I am wronged it is not by telling you that my affections are steady My conduct shall speak for me absence distance time shall speak for me They shall prove that as far as you can be deserved by anybody I do deserve you You are infinitely my superior in merit all that I know You have qualities which I had not before supposed to exist in such a degree in any human creature You have some touches of the angel in you beyond what not merely beyond what one sees because one never sees anything like it but beyond what one fancies might be But still I am not frightened It is not by equality of merit that you can be won That is out of the question It is he who sees and worships your merit the strongest who loves you most devotedly that has the best right to a return There I build my confidence By that right I do and will deserve you and when once convinced that my attachment is what I declare it I know you too well not to entertain the warmest hopes Yes dearest sweetest Fanny Nay seeing her draw back displeased forgive me Perhaps I have as yet no right but by what other name can I call you Do you suppose you are ever present to my imagination under any other No it is Fanny that I think of all day and dream of all night You have given the name such reality of sweetness that nothing else can now be descriptive of you {para} Fanny could hardly have kept her seat any longer or have refrained from at least trying to get away in spite of all the too public opposition she foresaw to it had it not been for the sound of approaching relief the very sound which she had been long watching for and long thinking strangely delayed {para} The solemn procession headed by Baddeley of tea board urn and cake bearers made its appearance and delivered her from a grievous imprisonment of body and mind Mr Crawford was obliged to move She was at liberty she was busy she was protected {para} Edmund was not sorry to be admitted again among the number of those who might speak and hear But though the conference had seemed full long to him and though on looking at Fanny he saw rather a flush of vexation he inclined to hope that so much could not have been said and listened to without some profit to the speaker {para} CHAPTER XXXV {para} Edmund had determined that it belonged entirely to Fanny to chuse whether her situation with regard to Crawford should be mentioned between them or not and that if she did not lead the way it should never be touched on by him but after a day or two of mutual reserve he was induced by his father to change his mind and try what his influence might do for his friend {para} A day and a very early day was actually fixed for the Crawfords departure and Sir Thomas thought it might be as well to make one more effort for the young man before he left Mansfield that all his professions and vows of unshaken attachment might have as much hope to sustain them as possible {para} Sir Thomas was most cordially anxious for the perfection of Mr Crawford 's character in that point He wished him to be a model of constancy and fancied the best means of effecting it would be by not trying him too long {para} Edmund was not unwilling to be persuaded to engage in the business he wanted to know Fanny 's feelings She had been used to consult him in every difficulty and he loved her too well to bear to be denied her confidence now he hoped to be of service to her he thought he must be of service to her whom else had she to open her heart to If she did not need counsel she must need the comfort of communication Fanny estranged from him silent and reserved was an unnatural state of things a state which he must break through and which he could easily learn to think she was wanting him to break through {para} I will speak to her sir I will take the first opportunity of speaking to her alone was the result of such thoughts as these and upon Sir Thomas 's information of her being at that very time walking alone in the shrubbery he instantly joined her {para} I am come to walk with you Fanny said he Shall I Drawing her arm within his It is a long while since we have had a comfortable walk together {para} She assented to it all rather by look than word Her spirits were low {para} But Fanny he presently added in order to have a comfortable walk something more is necessary than merely pacing this gravel together You must talk to me I know you have something on your mind I know what you are thinking of You cannot suppose me uninformed Am I to hear of it from everybody but Fanny herself {para} Fanny at once agitated and dejected replied If you hear of it from everybody cousin there can be nothing for me to tell {para} Not of facts perhaps but of feelings Fanny No one but you can tell me them I do not mean to press you however If it is not what you wish yourself I have done I had thought it might be a relief {para} I am afraid we think too differently for me to find any relief in talking of what I feel {para} Do you suppose that we think differently I have no idea of it I dare say that on a comparison of our opinions they would be found as much alike as they have been used to be to the point I consider Crawford 's proposals as most advantageous and desirable if you could return his affection I consider it as most natural that all your family should wish you could return it but that as you cannot you have done exactly as you ought in refusing him Can there be any disagreement between us here {para} Oh no But I thought you blamed me I thought you were against me This is such a comfort {para} This comfort you might have had sooner Fanny had you sought it But how could you possibly suppose me against you How could you imagine me an advocate for marriage without love Were I even careless in general on such matters how could you imagine me so where your happiness was at stake {para} My uncle thought me wrong and I knew he had been talking to you {para} As far as you have gone Fanny I think you perfectly right I may be sorry I may be surprised though hardly that for you had not had time to attach yourself but I think you perfectly right Can it admit of a question It is disgraceful to us if it does You did not love him nothing could have justified your accepting him {para} Fanny had not felt so comfortable for days and days {para} So far your conduct has been faultless and they were quite mistaken who wished you to do otherwise But the matter does not end here Crawford 's is no common attachment he perseveres with the hope of creating that regard which had not been created before This we know must be a work of time But with an affectionate smile let him succeed at last Fanny let him succeed at last You have proved yourself upright and disinterested prove yourself grateful and tender hearted and then you will be the perfect model of a woman which I have always believed you born for {para} Oh never never never he never will succeed with me And she spoke with a warmth which quite astonished Edmund and which she blushed at the recollection of herself when she saw his look and heard him reply Never Fanny so very determined and positive This is not like yourself your rational self {para} I mean she cried sorrowfully correcting herself that I think I never shall as far as the future can be answered for I think I never shall return his regard {para} I must hope better things I am aware more aware than Crawford can be that the man who means to make you love him you having due notice of his intentions must have very uphill work for there are all your early attachments and habits in battle array and before he can get your heart for his own use he has to unfasten it from all the holds upon things animate and inanimate which so many years growth have confirmed and which are considerably tightened for the moment by the very idea of separation I know that the apprehension of being forced to quit Mansfield will for a time be arming you against him I wish he had not been obliged to tell you what he was trying for I wish he had known you as well as I do Fanny Between us I think we should have won you My theoretical and his practical knowledge together could not have failed He should have worked upon my plans I must hope however that time proving him as I firmly believe it will to deserve you by his steady affection will give him his reward I cannot suppose that you have not the wish to love him the natural wish of gratitude You must have some feeling of that sort You must be sorry for your own indifference {para} We are so totally unlike said Fanny avoiding a direct answer we are so very very different in all our inclinations and ways that I consider it as quite impossible we should ever be tolerably happy together even if I could like him There never were two people more dissimilar We have not one taste in common We should be miserable {para} You are mistaken Fanny The dissimilarity is not so strong You are quite enough alike You have tastes in common You have moral and literary tastes in common You have both warm hearts and benevolent feelings and Fanny who that heard him read and saw you listen to Shakespeare the other night will think you unfitted as companions You forget yourself there is a decided difference in your tempers I allow He is lively you are serious but so much the better his spirits will support yours It is your disposition to be easily dejected and to fancy difficulties greater than they are His cheerfulness will counteract this He sees difficulties nowhere and his pleasantness and gaiety will be a constant support to you Your being so far unlike Fanny does not in the smallest degree make against the probability of your happiness together do not imagine it I am myself convinced that it is rather a favourable circumstance I am perfectly persuaded that the tempers had better be unlike I mean unlike in the flow of the spirits in the manners in the inclination for much or little company in the propensity to talk or to be silent to be grave or to be gay Some opposition here is I am thoroughly convinced friendly to matrimonial happiness I exclude extremes of course and a very close resemblance in all those points would be the likeliest way to produce an extreme A counteraction gentle and continual is the best safeguard of manners and conduct {para} Full well could Fanny guess where his thoughts were now Miss Crawford 's power was all returning He had been speaking of her cheerfully from the hour of his coming home His avoiding her was quite at an end He had dined at the Parsonage only the preceding day {para} After leaving him to his happier thoughts for some minutes Fanny feeling it due to herself returned to Mr Crawford and said It is not merely in temper that I consider him as totally unsuited to myself though in that respect I think the difference between us too great infinitely too great his spirits often oppress me but there is something in him which I object to still more I must say cousin that I cannot approve his character I have not thought well of him from the time of the play I then saw him behaving as it appeared to me so very improperly and unfeelingly I may speak of it now because it is all over so improperly by poor Mr Rushworth not seeming to care how he exposed or hurt him and paying attentions to my cousin Maria which in short at the time of the play I received an impression which will never be got over {para} My dear Fanny replied Edmund scarcely hearing her to the end let us not any of us be judged by what we appeared at that period of general folly The time of the play is a time which I hate to recollect Maria was wrong Crawford was wrong we were all wrong together but none so wrong as myself Compared with me all the rest were blameless I was playing the fool with my eyes open {para} As a bystander said Fanny perhaps I saw more than you did and I do think that Mr Rushworth was sometimes very jealous {para} Very possibly No wonder Nothing could be more improper than the whole business I am shocked whenever I think that Maria could be capable of it but if she could undertake the part we must not be surprised at the rest {para} Before the play I am much mistaken if Julia did not think he was paying her attentions {para} Julia I have heard before from some one of his being in love with Julia but I could never see anything of it And Fanny though I hope I do justice to my sisters good qualities I think it very possible that they might one or both be more desirous of being admired by Crawford and might shew that desire rather more unguardedly than was perfectly prudent I can remember that they were evidently fond of his society and with such encouragement a man like Crawford lively and it may be a little unthinking might be led on to there could be nothing very striking because it is clear that he had no pretensions his heart was reserved for you And I must say that its being for you has raised him inconceivably in my opinion It does him the highest honour it shews his proper estimation of the blessing of domestic happiness and pure attachment It proves him unspoilt by his uncle It proves him in short everything that I had been used to wish to believe him and feared he was not {para} I am persuaded that he does not think as he ought on serious subjects {para} Say rather that he has not thought at all upon serious subjects which I believe to be a good deal the case How could it be otherwise with such an education and adviser Under the disadvantages indeed which both have had is it not wonderful that they should be what they are Crawford 's feelings I am ready to acknowledge have hitherto been too much his guides Happily those feelings have generally been good You will supply the rest and a most fortunate man he is to attach himself to such a creature to a woman who firm as a rock in her own principles has a gentleness of character so well adapted to recommend them He has chosen his partner indeed with rare felicity He will make you happy Fanny I know he will make you happy but you will make him everything {para} I would not engage in such a charge cried Fanny in a shrinking accent in such an office of high responsibility {para} As usual believing yourself unequal to anything fancying everything too much for you Well though I may not be able to persuade you into different feelings you will be persuaded into them I trust I confess myself sincerely anxious that you may I have no common interest in Crawford 's well doing Next to your happiness Fanny his has the first claim on me You are aware of my having no common interest in Crawford {para} Fanny was too well aware of it to have anything to say and they walked on together some fifty yards in mutual silence and abstraction Edmund first began again {para} I was very much pleased by her manner of speaking of it yesterday particularly pleased because I had not depended upon her seeing everything in so just a light I knew she was very fond of you but yet I was afraid of her not estimating your worth to her brother quite as it deserved and of her regretting that he had not rather fixed on some woman of distinction or fortune I was afraid of the bias of those worldly maxims which she has been too much used to hear But it was very different She spoke of you Fanny just as she ought She desires the connexion as warmly as your uncle or myself We had a long talk about it I should not have mentioned the subject though very anxious to know her sentiments but I had not been in the room five minutes before she began introducing it with all that openness of heart and sweet peculiarity of manner that spirit and ingenuousness which are so much a part of herself Mrs Grant laughed at her for her rapidity {para} Was Mrs Grant in the room then {para} Yes when I reached the house I found the two sisters together by themselves and when once we had begun we had not done with you Fanny till Crawford and Dr Grant came in {para} It is above a week since I saw Miss Crawford {para} Yes she laments it yet owns it may have been best You will see her however before she goes She is very angry with you Fanny you must be prepared for that She calls herself very angry but you can imagine her anger It is the regret and disappointment of a sister who thinks her brother has a right to everything he may wish for at the first moment She is hurt as you would be for William but she loves and esteems you with all her heart {para} I knew she would be very angry with me {para} My dearest Fanny cried Edmund pressing her arm closer to him do not let the idea of her anger distress you It is anger to be talked of rather than felt Her heart is made for love and kindness not for resentment I wish you could have overheard her tribute of praise I wish you could have seen her countenance when she said that you should be Henry 's wife And I observed that she always spoke of you as Fanny which she was never used to do and it had a sound of most sisterly cordiality {para} And Mrs Grant did she say did she speak was she there all the time {para} Yes she was agreeing exactly with her sister The surprise of your refusal Fanny seems to have been unbounded That you could refuse such a man as Henry Crawford seems more than they can understand I said what I could for you but in good truth as they stated the case you must prove yourself to be in your senses as soon as you can by a different conduct nothing else will satisfy them But this is teasing you I have done Do not turn away from me {para} I should have thought said Fanny after a pause of recollection and exertion that every woman must have felt the possibility of a man 's not being approved not being loved by some one of her sex at least let him be ever so generally agreeable Let him have all the perfections in the world I think it ought not to be set down as certain that a man must be acceptable to every woman he may happen to like himself But even supposing it is so allowing Mr Crawford to have all the claims which his sisters think he has how was I to be prepared to meet him with any feeling answerable to his own He took me wholly by surprise I had not an idea that his behaviour to me before had any meaning and surely I was not to be teaching myself to like him only because he was taking what seemed very idle notice of me In my situation it would have been the extreme of vanity to be forming expectations on Mr Crawford I am sure his sisters rating him as they do must have thought it so supposing he had meant nothing How then was I to be to be in love with him the moment he said he was with me How was I to have an attachment at his service as soon as it was asked for His sisters should consider me as well as him The higher his deserts the more improper for me ever to have thought of him And and we think very differently of the nature of women if they can imagine a woman so very soon capable of returning an affection as this seems to imply {para} My dear dear Fanny now I have the truth I know this to be the truth and most worthy of you are such feelings I had attributed them to you before I thought I could understand you You have now given exactly the explanation which I ventured to make for you to your friend and Mrs Grant and they were both better satisfied though your warm hearted friend was still run away with a little by the enthusiasm of her fondness for Henry I told them that you were of all human creatures the one over whom habit had most power and novelty least and that the very circumstance of the novelty of Crawford 's addresses was against him Their being so new and so recent was all in their disfavour that you could tolerate nothing that you were not used to and a great deal more to the same purpose to give them a knowledge of your character Miss Crawford made us laugh by her plans of encouragement for her brother She meant to urge him to persevere in the hope of being loved in time and of having his addresses most kindly received at the end of about ten years happy marriage {para} Fanny could with difficulty give the smile that was here asked for Her feelings were all in revolt She feared she had been doing wrong saying too much overacting the caution which she had been fancying necessary in guarding against one evil laying herself open to another and to have Miss Crawford 's liveliness repeated to her at such a moment and on such a subject was a bitter aggravation {para} Edmund saw weariness and distress in her face and immediately resolved to forbear all farther discussion and not even to mention the name of Crawford again except as it might be connected with what must be agreeable to her On this principle he soon afterwards observed They go on Monday You are sure therefore of seeing your friend either to morrow or Sunday They really go on Monday and I was within a trifle of being persuaded to stay at Lessingby till that very day I had almost promised it What a difference it might have made Those five or six days more at Lessingby might have been felt all my life {para} You were near staying there {para} Very I was most kindly pressed and had nearly consented Had I received any letter from Mansfield to tell me how you were all going on I believe I should certainly have staid but I knew nothing that had happened here for a fortnight and felt that I had been away long enough {para} You spent your time pleasantly there {para} Yes that is it was the fault of my own mind if I did not They were all very pleasant I doubt their finding me so I took uneasiness with me and there was no getting rid of it till I was in Mansfield again {para} The Miss Owens you liked them did not you {para} Yes very well Pleasant good humoured unaffected girls But I am spoilt Fanny for common female society Good humoured unaffected girls will not do for a man who has been used to sensible women They are two distinct orders of being You and Miss Crawford have made me too nice {para} Still however Fanny was oppressed and wearied he saw it in her looks it could not be talked away and attempting it no more he led her directly with the kind authority of a privileged guardian into the house {para} CHAPTER XXXVI {para} Edmund now believed himself perfectly acquainted with all that Fanny could tell or could leave to be conjectured of her sentiments and he was satisfied It had been as he before presumed too hasty a measure on Crawford 's side and time must be given to make the idea first familiar and then agreeable to her She must be used to the consideration of his being in love with her and then a return of affection might not be very distant {para} He gave this opinion as the result of the conversation to his father and recommended there being nothing more said to her no farther attempts to influence or persuade but that everything should be left to Crawford 's assiduities and the natural workings of her own mind {para} Sir Thomas promised that it should be so Edmund 's account of Fanny 's disposition he could believe to be just he supposed she had all those feelings but he must consider it as very unfortunate that she had for less willing than his son to trust to the future he could not help fearing that if such very long allowances of time and habit were necessary for her she might not have persuaded herself into receiving his addresses properly before the young man 's inclination for paying them were over There was nothing to be done however but to submit quietly and hope the best {para} The promised visit from her friend as Edmund called Miss Crawford was a formidable threat to Fanny and she lived in continual terror of it As a sister so partial and so angry and so little scrupulous of what she said and in another light so triumphant and secure she was in every way an object of painful alarm Her displeasure her penetration and her happiness were all fearful to encounter and the dependence of having others present when they met was Fanny 's only support in looking forward to it She absented herself as little as possible from Lady Bertram kept away from the East room and took no solitary walk in the shrubbery in her caution to avoid any sudden attack {para} She succeeded She was safe in the breakfast room with her aunt when Miss Crawford did come and the first misery over and Miss Crawford looking and speaking with much less particularity of expression than she had anticipated Fanny began to hope there would be nothing worse to be endured than a half hour of moderate agitation But here she hoped too much Miss Crawford was not the slave of opportunity She was determined to see Fanny alone and therefore said to her tolerably soon in a low voice I must speak to you for a few minutes somewhere words that Fanny felt all over her in all her pulses and all her nerves Denial was impossible Her habits of ready submission on the contrary made her almost instantly rise and lead the way out of the room She did it with wretched feelings but it was inevitable {para} They were no sooner in the hall than all restraint of countenance was over on Miss Crawford 's side She immediately shook her head at Fanny with arch yet affectionate reproach and taking her hand seemed hardly able to help beginning directly She said nothing however but Sad sad girl I do not know when I shall have done scolding you and had discretion enough to reserve the rest till they might be secure of having four walls to themselves Fanny naturally turned upstairs and took her guest to the apartment which was now always fit for comfortable use opening the door however with a most aching heart and feeling that she had a more distressing scene before her than ever that spot had yet witnessed But the evil ready to burst on her was at least delayed by the sudden change in Miss Crawford 's ideas by the strong effect on her mind which the finding herself in the East room again produced {para} Ha she cried with instant animation am I here again The East room Once only was I in this room before and after stopping to look about her and seemingly to retrace all that had then passed she added Once only before Do you remember it I came to rehearse Your cousin came too and we had a rehearsal You were our audience and prompter A delightful rehearsal I shall never forget it Here we were just in this part of the room here was your cousin here was I here were the chairs Oh why will such things ever pass away {para} Happily for her companion she wanted no answer Her mind was entirely self engrossed She was in a reverie of sweet remembrances {para} The scene we were rehearsing was so very remarkable The subject of it so very very what shall I say He was to be describing and recommending matrimony to me I think I see him now trying to be as demure and composed as Anhalt ought through the two long speeches When two sympathetic hearts meet in the marriage state matrimony may be called a happy life I suppose no time can ever wear out the impression I have of his looks and voice as he said those words It was curious very curious that we should have such a scene to play If I had the power of recalling any one week of my existence it should be that week that acting week Say what you would Fanny it should be that for I never knew such exquisite happiness in any other His sturdy spirit to bend as it did Oh it was sweet beyond expression But alas that very evening destroyed it all That very evening brought your most unwelcome uncle Poor Sir Thomas who was glad to see you Yet Fanny do not imagine I would now speak disrespectfully of Sir Thomas though I certainly did hate him for many a week No I do him justice now He is just what the head of such a family should be Nay in sober sadness I believe I now love you all And having said so with a degree of tenderness and consciousness which Fanny had never seen in her before and now thought only too becoming she turned away for a moment to recover herself I have had a little fit since I came into this room as you may perceive said she presently with a playful smile but it is over now so let us sit down and be comfortable for as to scolding you Fanny which I came fully intending to do I have not the heart for it when it comes to the point And embracing her very affectionately Good gentle Fanny when I think of this being the last time of seeing you for I do not know how long I feel it quite impossible to do anything but love you {para} Fanny was affected She had not foreseen anything of this and her feelings could seldom withstand the melancholy influence of the word last She cried as if she had loved Miss Crawford more than she possibly could and Miss Crawford yet farther softened by the sight of such emotion hung about her with fondness and said I hate to leave you I shall see no one half so amiable where I am going Who says we shall not be sisters I know we shall I feel that we are born to be connected and those tears convince me that you feel it too dear Fanny {para} Fanny roused herself and replying only in part said But you are only going from one set of friends to another You are going to a very particular friend {para} Yes very true Mrs Fraser has been my intimate friend for years But I have not the least inclination to go near her I can think only of the friends I am leaving my excellent sister yourself and the Bertrams in general You have all so much more heart among you than one finds in the world at large You all give me a feeling of being able to trust and confide in you which in common intercourse one knows nothing of I wish I had settled with Mrs Fraser not to go to her till after Easter a much better time for the visit but now I cannot put her off And when I have done with her I must go to her sister Lady Stornaway because she was rather my most particular friend of the two but I have not cared much for her these three years {para} After this speech the two girls sat many minutes silent each thoughtful Fanny meditating on the different sorts of friendship in the world Mary on something of less philosophic tendency She first spoke again {para} How perfectly I remember my resolving to look for you upstairs and setting off to find my way to the East room without having an idea whereabouts it was How well I remember what I was thinking of as I came along and my looking in and seeing you here sitting at this table at work and then your cousin 's astonishment when he opened the door at seeing me here To be sure your uncle 's returning that very evening There never was anything quite like it {para} Another short fit of abstraction followed when shaking it off she thus attacked her companion {para} Why Fanny you are absolutely in a reverie Thinking I hope of one who is always thinking of you Oh that I could transport you for a short time into our circle in town that you might understand how your power over Henry is thought of there Oh the envyings and heartburnings of dozens and dozens the wonder the incredulity that will be felt at hearing what you have done For as to secrecy Henry is quite the hero of an old romance and glories in his chains You should come to London to know how to estimate your conquest If you were to see how he is courted and how I am courted for his sake Now I am well aware that I shall not be half so welcome to Mrs Fraser in consequence of his situation with you When she comes to know the truth she will very likely wish me in Northamptonshire again for there is a daughter of Mr Fraser by a first wife whom she is wild to get married and wants Henry to take Oh she has been trying for him to such a degree Innocent and quiet as you sit here you cannot have an idea of the sensation that you will be occasioning of the curiosity there will be to see you of the endless questions I shall have to answer Poor Margaret Fraser will be at me for ever about your eyes and your teeth and how you do your hair and who makes your shoes I wish Margaret were married for my poor friend 's sake for I look upon the Frasers to be about as unhappy as most other married people And yet it was a most desirable match for Janet at the time We were all delighted She could not do otherwise than accept him for he was rich and she had nothing but he turns out ill tempered and exigeant and wants a young woman a beautiful young woman of five and twenty to be as steady as himself And my friend does not manage him well she does not seem to know how to make the best of it There is a spirit of irritation which to say nothing worse is certainly very ill bred In their house I shall call to mind the conjugal manners of Mansfield Parsonage with respect Even Dr Grant does shew a thorough confidence in my sister and a certain consideration for her judgment which makes one feel there is attachment but of that I shall see nothing with the Frasers I shall be at Mansfield for ever Fanny My own sister as a wife Sir Thomas Bertram as a husband are my standards of perfection Poor Janet has been sadly taken in and yet there was nothing improper on her side she did not run into the match inconsiderately there was no want of foresight She took three days to consider of his proposals and during those three days asked the advice of everybody connected with her whose opinion was worth having and especially applied to my late dear aunt whose knowledge of the world made her judgment very generally and deservedly looked up to by all the young people of her acquaintance and she was decidedly in favour of Mr Fraser This seems as if nothing were a security for matrimonial comfort I have not so much to say for my friend Flora who jilted a very nice young man in the Blues for the sake of that horrid Lord Stornaway who has about as much sense Fanny as Mr Rushworth but much worse looking and with a blackguard character I had my doubts at the time about her being right for he has not even the air of a gentleman and now I am sure she was wrong By the bye Flora Ross was dying for Henry the first winter she came out But were I to attempt to tell you of all the women whom I have known to be in love with him I should never have done It is you only you insensible Fanny who can think of him with anything like indifference But are you so insensible as you profess yourself No no I see you are not {para} There was indeed so deep a blush over Fanny 's face at that moment as might warrant strong suspicion in a predisposed mind {para} Excellent creature I will not tease you Everything shall take its course But dear Fanny you must allow that you were not so absolutely unprepared to have the question asked as your cousin fancies It is not possible but that you must have had some thoughts on the subject some surmises as to what might be You must have seen that he was trying to please you by every attention in his power Was not he devoted to you at the ball And then before the ball the necklace Oh you received it just as it was meant You were as conscious as heart could desire I remember it perfectly {para} Do you mean then that your brother knew of the necklace beforehand Oh Miss Crawford that was not fair {para} Knew of it It was his own doing entirely his own thought I am ashamed to say that it had never entered my head but I was delighted to act on his proposal for both your sakes {para} I will not say replied Fanny that I was not half afraid at the time of its being so for there was something in your look that frightened me but not at first I was as unsuspicious of it at first indeed indeed I was It is as true as that I sit here And had I had an idea of it nothing should have induced me to accept the necklace As to your brother 's behaviour certainly I was sensible of a particularity I had been sensible of it some little time perhaps two or three weeks but then I considered it as meaning nothing I put it down as simply being his way and was as far from supposing as from wishing him to have any serious thoughts of me I had not Miss Crawford been an inattentive observer of what was passing between him and some part of this family in the summer and autumn I was quiet but I was not blind I could not but see that Mr Crawford allowed himself in gallantries which did mean nothing {para} Ah I cannot deny it He has now and then been a sad flirt and cared very little for the havoc he might be making in young ladies affections I have often scolded him for it but it is his only fault and there is this to be said that very few young ladies have any affections worth caring for And then Fanny the glory of fixing one who has been shot at by so many of having it in one 's power to pay off the debts of one 's sex Oh I am sure it is not in woman 's nature to refuse such a triumph {para} Fanny shook her head I cannot think well of a man who sports with any woman 's feelings and there may often be a great deal more suffered than a stander by can judge of {para} I do not defend him I leave him entirely to your mercy and when he has got you at Everingham I do not care how much you lecture him But this I will say that his fault the liking to make girls a little in love with him is not half so dangerous to a wife 's happiness as a tendency to fall in love himself which he has never been addicted to And I do seriously and truly believe that he is attached to you in a way that he never was to any woman before that he loves you with all his heart and will love you as nearly for ever as possible If any man ever loved a woman for ever I think Henry will do as much for you {para} Fanny could not avoid a faint smile but had nothing to say {para} I cannot imagine Henry ever to have been happier continued Mary presently than when he had succeeded in getting your brother 's commission {para} She had made a sure push at Fanny 's feelings here {para} Oh yes How very very kind of him {para} I know he must have exerted himself very much for I know the parties he had to move The Admiral hates trouble and scorns asking favours and there are so many young men 's claims to be attended to in the same way that a friendship and energy not very determined is easily put by What a happy creature William must be I wish we could see him {para} Poor Fanny 's mind was thrown into the most distressing of all its varieties The recollection of what had been done for William was always the most powerful disturber of every decision against Mr Crawford and she sat thinking deeply of it till Mary who had been first watching her complacently and then musing on something else suddenly called her attention by saying I should like to sit talking with you here all day but we must not forget the ladies below and so good bye my dear my amiable my excellent Fanny for though we shall nominally part in the breakfast parlour I must take leave of you here And I do take leave longing for a happy reunion and trusting that when we meet again it will be under circumstances which may open our hearts to each other without any remnant or shadow of reserve {para} A very very kind embrace and some agitation of manner accompanied these words {para} I shall see your cousin in town soon he talks of being there tolerably soon and Sir Thomas I dare say in the course of the spring and your eldest cousin and the Rushworths and Julia I am sure of meeting again and again and all but you I have two favours to ask Fanny one is your correspondence You must write to me And the other that you will often call on Mrs Grant and make her amends for my being gone {para} The first at least of these favours Fanny would rather not have been asked but it was impossible for her to refuse the correspondence it was impossible for her even not to accede to it more readily than her own judgment authorised There was no resisting so much apparent affection Her disposition was peculiarly calculated to value a fond treatment and from having hitherto known so little of it she was the more overcome by Miss Crawford 's Besides there was gratitude towards her for having made their tete a tete so much less painful than her fears had predicted {para} It was over and she had escaped without reproaches and without detection Her secret was still her own and while that was the case she thought she could resign herself to almost everything {para} In the evening there was another parting Henry Crawford came and sat some time with them and her spirits not being previously in the strongest state her heart was softened for a while towards him because he really seemed to feel Quite unlike his usual self he scarcely said anything He was evidently oppressed and Fanny must grieve for him though hoping she might never see him again till he were the husband of some other woman {para} When it came to the moment of parting he would take her hand he would not be denied it he said nothing however or nothing that she heard and when he had left the room she was better pleased that such a token of friendship had passed {para} On the morrow the Crawfords were gone {para} CHAPTER XXXVII {para} Mr Crawford gone Sir Thomas 's next object was that he should be missed and he entertained great hope that his niece would find a blank in the loss of those attentions which at the time she had felt or fancied an evil She had tasted of consequence in its most flattering form and he did hope that the loss of it the sinking again into nothing would awaken very wholesome regrets in her mind He watched her with this idea but he could hardly tell with what success He hardly knew whether there were any difference in her spirits or not She was always so gentle and retiring that her emotions were beyond his discrimination He did not understand her he felt that he did not and therefore applied to Edmund to tell him how she stood affected on the present occasion and whether she were more or less happy than she had been {para} Edmund did not discern any symptoms of regret and thought his father a little unreasonable in supposing the first three or four days could produce any {para} What chiefly surprised Edmund was that Crawford 's sister the friend and companion who had been so much to her should not be more visibly regretted He wondered that Fanny spoke so seldom of her and had so little voluntarily to say of her concern at this separation {para} Alas it was this sister this friend and companion who was now the chief bane of Fanny 's comfort If she could have believed Mary 's future fate as unconnected with Mansfield as she was determined the brother 's should be if she could have hoped her return thither to be as distant as she was much inclined to think his she would have been light of heart indeed but the more she recollected and observed the more deeply was she convinced that everything was now in a fairer train for Miss Crawford 's marrying Edmund than it had ever been before On his side the inclination was stronger on hers less equivocal His objections the scruples of his integrity seemed all done away nobody could tell how and the doubts and hesitations of her ambition were equally got over and equally without apparent reason It could only be imputed to increasing attachment His good and her bad feelings yielded to love and such love must unite them He was to go to town as soon as some business relative to Thornton Lacey were completed perhaps within a fortnight he talked of going he loved to talk of it and when once with her again Fanny could not doubt the rest Her acceptance must be as certain as his offer and yet there were bad feelings still remaining which made the prospect of it most sorrowful to her independently she believed independently of self {para} In their very last conversation Miss Crawford in spite of some amiable sensations and much personal kindness had still been Miss Crawford still shewn a mind led astray and bewildered and without any suspicion of being so darkened yet fancying itself light She might love but she did not deserve Edmund by any other sentiment Fanny believed there was scarcely a second feeling in common between them and she may be forgiven by older sages for looking on the chance of Miss Crawford 's future improvement as nearly desperate for thinking that if Edmund 's influence in this season of love had already done so little in clearing her judgment and regulating her notions his worth would be finally wasted on her even in years of matrimony {para} Experience might have hoped more for any young people so circumstanced and impartiality would not have denied to Miss Crawford 's nature that participation of the general nature of women which would lead her to adopt the opinions of the man she loved and respected as her own But as such were Fanny 's persuasions she suffered very much from them and could never speak of Miss Crawford without pain {para} Sir Thomas meanwhile went on with his own hopes and his own observations still feeling a right by all his knowledge of human nature to expect to see the effect of the loss of power and consequence on his niece 's spirits and the past attentions of the lover producing a craving for their return and he was soon afterwards able to account for his not yet completely and indubitably seeing all this by the prospect of another visitor whose approach he could allow to be quite enough to support the spirits he was watching William had obtained a ten days leave of absence to be given to Northamptonshire and was coming the happiest of lieutenants because the latest made to shew his happiness and describe his uniform {para} He came and he would have been delighted to shew his uniform there too had not cruel custom prohibited its appearance except on duty So the uniform remained at Portsmouth and Edmund conjectured that before Fanny had any chance of seeing it all its own freshness and all the freshness of its wearer 's feelings must be worn away It would be sunk into a badge of disgrace for what can be more unbecoming or more worthless than the uniform of a lieutenant who has been a lieutenant a year or two and sees others made commanders before him So reasoned Edmund till his father made him the confidant of a scheme which placed Fanny 's chance of seeing the second lieutenant of HMS Thrush in all his glory in another light {para} This scheme was that she should accompany her brother back to Portsmouth and spend a little time with her own family It had occurred to Sir Thomas in one of his dignified musings as a right and desirable measure but before he absolutely made up his mind he consulted his son Edmund considered it every way and saw nothing but what was right The thing was good in itself and could not be done at a better time and he had no doubt of it being highly agreeable to Fanny This was enough to determine Sir Thomas and a decisive then so it shall be closed that stage of the business Sir Thomas retiring from it with some feelings of satisfaction and views of good over and above what he had communicated to his son for his prime motive in sending her away had very little to do with the propriety of her seeing her parents again and nothing at all with any idea of making her happy He certainly wished her to go willingly but he as certainly wished her to be heartily sick of home before her visit ended and that a little abstinence from the elegancies and luxuries of Mansfield Park would bring her mind into a sober state and incline her to a juster estimate of the value of that home of greater permanence and equal comfort of which she had the offer {para} It was a medicinal project upon his niece 's understanding which he must consider as at present diseased A residence of eight or nine years in the abode of wealth and plenty had a little disordered her powers of comparing and judging Her father 's house would in all probability teach her the value of a good income and he trusted that she would be the wiser and happier woman all her life for the experiment he had devised {para} Had Fanny been at all addicted to raptures she must have had a strong attack of them when she first understood what was intended when her uncle first made her the offer of visiting the parents and brothers and sisters from whom she had been divided almost half her life of returning for a couple of months to the scenes of her infancy with William for the protector and companion of her journey and the certainty of continuing to see William to the last hour of his remaining on land Had she ever given way to bursts of delight it must have been then for she was delighted but her happiness was of a quiet deep heart swelling sort and though never a great talker she was always more inclined to silence when feeling most strongly At the moment she could only thank and accept Afterwards when familiarised with the visions of enjoyment so suddenly opened she could speak more largely to William and Edmund of what she felt but still there were emotions of tenderness that could not be clothed in words The remembrance of all her earliest pleasures and of what she had suffered in being torn from them came over her with renewed strength and it seemed as if to be at home again would heal every pain that had since grown out of the separation To be in the centre of such a circle loved by so many and more loved by all than she had ever been before to feel affection without fear or restraint to feel herself the equal of those who surrounded her to be at peace from all mention of the Crawfords safe from every look which could be fancied a reproach on their account This was a prospect to be dwelt on with a fondness that could be but half acknowledged {para} Edmund too to be two months from him and perhaps she might be allowed to make her absence three must do her good At a distance unassailed by his looks or his kindness and safe from the perpetual irritation of knowing his heart and striving to avoid his confidence she should be able to reason herself into a properer state she should be able to think of him as in London and arranging everything there without wretchedness What might have been hard to bear at Mansfield was to become a slight evil at Portsmouth {para} The only drawback was the doubt of her aunt Bertram 's being comfortable without her She was of use to no one else but there she might be missed to a degree that she did not like to think of and that part of the arrangement was indeed the hardest for Sir Thomas to accomplish and what only he could have accomplished at all {para} But he was master at Mansfield Park When he had really resolved on any measure he could always carry it through and now by dint of long talking on the subject explaining and dwelling on the duty of Fanny 's sometimes seeing her family he did induce his wife to let her go obtaining it rather from submission however than conviction for Lady Bertram was convinced of very little more than that Sir Thomas thought Fanny ought to go and therefore that she must In the calmness of her own dressing room in the impartial flow of her own meditations unbiassed by his bewildering statements she could not acknowledge any necessity for Fanny 's ever going near a father and mother who had done without her so long while she was so useful to herself And as to the not missing her which under Mrs Norris 's discussion was the point attempted to be proved she set herself very steadily against admitting any such thing {para} Sir Thomas had appealed to her reason conscience and dignity He called it a sacrifice and demanded it of her goodness and self command as such But Mrs Norris wanted to persuade her that Fanny could be very well spared she being ready to give up all her own time to her as requested and in short could not really be wanted or missed {para} That may be sister was all Lady Bertram 's reply I dare say you are very right but I am sure I shall miss her very much {para} The next step was to communicate with Portsmouth Fanny wrote to offer herself and her mother 's answer though short was so kind a few simple lines expressed so natural and motherly a joy in the prospect of seeing her child again as to confirm all the daughter 's views of happiness in being with her convincing her that she should now find a warm and affectionate friend in the mama who had certainly shewn no remarkable fondness for her formerly but this she could easily suppose to have been her own fault or her own fancy She had probably alienated love by the helplessness and fretfulness of a fearful temper or been unreasonable in wanting a larger share than any one among so many could deserve Now when she knew better how to be useful and how to forbear and when her mother could be no longer occupied by the incessant demands of a house full of little children there would be leisure and inclination for every comfort and they should soon be what mother and daughter ought to be to each other {para} William was almost as happy in the plan as his sister It would be the greatest pleasure to him to have her there to the last moment before he sailed and perhaps find her there still when he came in from his first cruise And besides he wanted her so very much to see the Thrush before she went out of harbour the Thrush was certainly the finest sloop in the service and there were several improvements in the dockyard too which he quite longed to shew her {para} He did not scruple to add that her being at home for a while would be a great advantage to everybody {para} I do not know how it is said he but we seem to want some of your nice ways and orderliness at my father 's The house is always in confusion You will set things going in a better way I am sure You will tell my mother how it all ought to be and you will be so useful to Susan and you will teach Betsey and make the boys love and mind you How right and comfortable it will all be {para} By the time Mrs Price 's answer arrived there remained but a very few days more to be spent at Mansfield and for part of one of those days the young travellers were in a good deal of alarm on the subject of their journey for when the mode of it came to be talked of and Mrs Norris found that all her anxiety to save her brother in law 's money was vain and that in spite of her wishes and hints for a less expensive conveyance of Fanny they were to travel post when she saw Sir Thomas actually give William notes for the purpose she was struck with the idea of there being room for a third in the carriage and suddenly seized with a strong inclination to go with them to go and see her poor dear sister Price She proclaimed her thoughts She must say that she had more than half a mind to go with the young people it would be such an indulgence to her she had not seen her poor dear sister Price for more than twenty years and it would be a help to the young people in their journey to have her older head to manage for them and she could not help thinking her poor dear sister Price would feel it very unkind of her not to come by such an opportunity {para} William and Fanny were horror struck at the idea {para} All the comfort of their comfortable journey would be destroyed at once With woeful countenances they looked at each other Their suspense lasted an hour or two No one interfered to encourage or dissuade Mrs Norris was left to settle the matter by herself and it ended to the infinite joy of her nephew and niece in the recollection that she could not possibly be spared from Mansfield Park at present that she was a great deal too necessary to Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram for her to be able to answer it to herself to leave them even for a week and therefore must certainly sacrifice every other pleasure to that of being useful to them {para} It had in fact occurred to her that though taken to Portsmouth for nothing it would be hardly possible for her to avoid paying her own expenses back again So her poor dear sister Price was left to all the disappointment of her missing such an opportunity and another twenty years absence perhaps begun {para} Edmund 's plans were affected by this Portsmouth journey this absence of Fanny 's He too had a sacrifice to make to Mansfield Park as well as his aunt He had intended about this time to be going to London but he could not leave his father and mother just when everybody else of most importance to their comfort was leaving them and with an effort felt but not boasted of he delayed for a week or two longer a journey which he was looking forward to with the hope of its fixing his happiness for ever {para} He told Fanny of it She knew so much already that she must know everything It made the substance of one other confidential discourse about Miss Crawford and Fanny was the more affected from feeling it to be the last time in which Miss Crawford 's name would ever be mentioned between them with any remains of liberty Once afterwards she was alluded to by him Lady Bertram had been telling her niece in the evening to write to her soon and often and promising to be a good correspondent herself and Edmund at a convenient moment then added in a whisper And I shall write to you Fanny when I have anything worth writing about anything to say that I think you will like to hear and that you will not hear so soon from any other quarter Had she doubted his meaning while she listened the glow in his face when she looked up at him would have been decisive {para} For this letter she must try to arm herself That a letter from Edmund should be a subject of terror She began to feel that she had not yet gone through all the changes of opinion and sentiment which the progress of time and variation of circumstances occasion in this world of changes The vicissitudes of the human mind had not yet been exhausted by her {para} Poor Fanny though going as she did willingly and eagerly the last evening at Mansfield Park must still be wretchedness Her heart was completely sad at parting She had tears for every room in the house much more for every beloved inhabitant She clung to her aunt because she would miss her she kissed the hand of her uncle with struggling sobs because she had displeased him and as for Edmund she could neither speak nor look nor think when the last moment came with him and it was not till it was over that she knew he was giving her the affectionate farewell of a brother {para} All this passed overnight for the journey was to begin very early in the morning and when the small diminished party met at breakfast William and Fanny were talked of as already advanced one stage {para} CHAPTER XXXVIII {para} The novelty of travelling and the happiness of being with William soon produced their natural effect on Fanny 's spirits when Mansfield Park was fairly left behind and by the time their first stage was ended and they were to quit Sir Thomas 's carriage she was able to take leave of the old coachman and send back proper messages with cheerful looks {para} Of pleasant talk between the brother and sister there was no end Everything supplied an amusement to the high glee of William 's mind and he was full of frolic and joke in the intervals of their higher toned subjects all of which ended if they did not begin in praise of the Thrush conjectures how she would be employed schemes for an action with some superior force which supposing the first lieutenant out of the way and William was not very merciful to the first lieutenant was to give himself the next step as soon as possible or speculations upon prize money which was to be generously distributed at home with only the reservation of enough to make the little cottage comfortable in which he and Fanny were to pass all their middle and later life together {para} Fanny 's immediate concerns as far as they involved Mr Crawford made no part of their conversation William knew what had passed and from his heart lamented that his sister 's feelings should be so cold towards a man whom he must consider as the first of human characters but he was of an age to be all for love and therefore unable to blame and knowing her wish on the subject he would not distress her by the slightest allusion {para} She had reason to suppose herself not yet forgotten by Mr Crawford She had heard repeatedly from his sister within the three weeks which had passed since their leaving Mansfield and in each letter there had been a few lines from himself warm and determined like his speeches It was a correspondence which Fanny found quite as unpleasant as she had feared Miss Crawford 's style of writing lively and affectionate was itself an evil independent of what she was thus forced into reading from the brother 's pen for Edmund would never rest till she had read the chief of the letter to him and then she had to listen to his admiration of her language and the warmth of her attachments There had in fact been so much of message of allusion of recollection so much of Mansfield in every letter that Fanny could not but suppose it meant for him to hear and to find herself forced into a purpose of that kind compelled into a correspondence which was bringing her the addresses of the man she did not love and obliging her to administer to the adverse passion of the man she did was cruelly mortifying Here too her present removal promised advantage When no longer under the same roof with Edmund she trusted that Miss Crawford would have no motive for writing strong enough to overcome the trouble and that at Portsmouth their correspondence would dwindle into nothing {para} With such thoughts as these among ten hundred others Fanny proceeded in her journey safely and cheerfully and as expeditiously as could rationally be hoped in the dirty month of February They entered Oxford but she could take only a hasty glimpse of Edmund 's college as they passed along and made no stop anywhere till they reached Newbury where a comfortable meal uniting dinner and supper wound up the enjoyments and fatigues of the day {para} The next morning saw them off again at an early hour and with no events and no delays they regularly advanced and were in the environs of Portsmouth while there was yet daylight for Fanny to look around her and wonder at the new buildings They passed the drawbridge and entered the town and the light was only beginning to fail as guided by William 's powerful voice they were rattled into a narrow street leading from the High Street and drawn up before the door of a small house now inhabited by Mr Price {para} Fanny was all agitation and flutter all hope and apprehension The moment they stopped a trollopy looking maidservant seemingly in waiting for them at the door stepped forward and more intent on telling the news than giving them any help immediately began with The Thrush is gone out of harbour please sir and one of the officers has been here to She was interrupted by a fine tall boy of eleven years old who rushing out of the house pushed the maid aside and while William was opening the chaise door himself called out You are just in time We have been looking for you this half hour The Thrush went out of harbour this morning I saw her It was a beautiful sight And they think she will have her orders in a day or two And Mr Campbell was here at four o'clock to ask for you he has got one of the Thrush 's boats and is going off to her at six and hoped you would be here in time to go with him {para} A stare or two at Fanny as William helped her out of the carriage was all the voluntary notice which this brother bestowed but he made no objection to her kissing him though still entirely engaged in detailing farther particulars of the Thrush 's going out of harbour in which he had a strong right of interest being to commence his career of seamanship in her at this very time {para} Another moment and Fanny was in the narrow entrance passage of the house and in her mother 's arms who met her there with looks of true kindness and with features which Fanny loved the more because they brought her aunt Bertram 's before her and there were her two sisters Susan a well grown fine girl of fourteen and Betsey the youngest of the family about five both glad to see her in their way though with no advantage of manner in receiving her But manner Fanny did not want Would they but love her she should be satisfied {para} She was then taken into a parlour so small that her first conviction was of its being only a passage room to something better and she stood for a moment expecting to be invited on but when she saw there was no other door and that there were signs of habitation before her she called back her thoughts reproved herself and grieved lest they should have been suspected Her mother however could not stay long enough to suspect anything She was gone again to the street door to welcome William Oh my dear William how glad I am to see you But have you heard about the Thrush She is gone out of harbour already three days before we had any thought of it and I do not know what I am to do about Sam 's things they will never be ready in time for she may have her orders to morrow perhaps It takes me quite unawares And now you must be off for Spithead too Campbell has been here quite in a worry about you and now what shall we do I thought to have had such a comfortable evening with you and here everything comes upon me at once {para} Her son answered cheerfully telling her that everything was always for the best and making light of his own inconvenience in being obliged to hurry away so soon {para} To be sure I had much rather she had stayed in harbour that I might have sat a few hours with you in comfort but as there is a boat ashore I had better go off at once and there is no help for it Whereabouts does the Thrush lay at Spithead Near the Canopus But no matter here 's Fanny in the parlour and why should we stay in the passage Come mother you have hardly looked at your own dear Fanny yet {para} In they both came and Mrs Price having kindly kissed her daughter again and commented a little on her growth began with very natural solicitude to feel for their fatigues and wants as travellers {para} Poor dears how tired you must both be and now what will you have I began to think you would never come Betsey and I have been watching for you this half hour And when did you get anything to eat And what would you like to have now I could not tell whether you would be for some meat or only a dish of tea after your journey or else I would have got something ready And now I am afraid Campbell will be here before there is time to dress a steak and we have no butcher at hand It is very inconvenient to have no butcher in the street We were better off in our last house Perhaps you would like some tea as soon as it can be got {para} They both declared they should prefer it to anything Then Betsey my dear run into the kitchen and see if Rebecca has put the water on and tell her to bring in the tea things as soon as she can I wish we could get the bell mended but Betsey is a very handy little messenger {para} Betsey went with alacrity proud to shew her abilities before her fine new sister {para} Dear me continued the anxious mother what a sad fire we have got and I dare say you are both starved with cold Draw your chair nearer my dear I cannot think what Rebecca has been about I am sure I told her to bring some coals half an hour ago Susan you should have taken care of the fire {para} I was upstairs mama moving my things said Susan in a fearless self defending tone which startled Fanny You know you had but just settled that my sister Fanny and I should have the other room and I could not get Rebecca to give me any help {para} Farther discussion was prevented by various bustles first the driver came to be paid then there was a squabble between Sam and Rebecca about the manner of carrying up his sister 's trunk which he would manage all his own way and lastly in walked Mr Price himself his own loud voice preceding him as with something of the oath kind he kicked away his son 's port manteau and his daughter 's bandbox in the passage and called out for a candle no candle was brought however and he walked into the room {para} Fanny with doubting feelings had risen to meet him but sank down again on finding herself undistinguished in the dusk and unthought of With a friendly shake of his son 's hand and an eager voice he instantly began Ha welcome back my boy Glad to see you Have you heard the news The Thrush went out of harbour this morning Sharp is the word you see By G you are just in time The doctor has been here inquiring for you he has got one of the boats and is to be off for Spithead by six so you had better go with him I have been to Turner 's about your mess it is all in a way to be done I should not wonder if you had your orders to morrow but you cannot sail with this wind if you are to cruise to the westward and Captain Walsh thinks you will certainly have a cruise to the westward with the Elephant By G I wish you may But old Scholey was saying just now that he thought you would be sent first to the Texel Well well we are ready whatever happens But by G you lost a fine sight by not being here in the morning to see the Thrush go out of harbour I would not have been out of the way for a thousand pounds Old Scholey ran in at breakfast time to say she had slipped her moorings and was coming out I jumped up and made but two steps to the platform If ever there was a perfect beauty afloat she is one and there she lays at Spithead and anybody in England would take her for an eight and twenty I was upon the platform two hours this afternoon looking at her She lays close to the Endymion between her and the Cleopatra just to the eastward of the sheer hulk {para} Ha cried William that 's just where I should have put her myself It 's the best berth at Spithead But here is my sister sir here is Fanny turning and leading her forward it is so dark you do not see her {para} With an acknowledgment that he had quite forgot her Mr Price now received his daughter and having given her a cordial hug and observed that she was grown into a woman and he supposed would be wanting a husband soon seemed very much inclined to forget her again Fanny shrunk back to her seat with feelings sadly pained by his language and his smell of spirits and he talked on only to his son and only of the Thrush though William warmly interested as he was in that subject more than once tried to make his father think of Fanny and her long absence and long journey {para} After sitting some time longer a candle was obtained but as there was still no appearance of tea nor from Betsey 's reports from the kitchen much hope of any under a considerable period William determined to go and change his dress and make the necessary preparations for his removal on board directly that he might have his tea in comfort afterwards {para} As he left the room two rosy faced boys ragged and dirty about eight and nine years old rushed into it just released from school and coming eagerly to see their sister and tell that the Thrush was gone out of harbour Tom and Charles Charles had been born since Fanny 's going away but Tom she had often helped to nurse and now felt a particular pleasure in seeing again Both were kissed very tenderly but Tom she wanted to keep by her to try to trace the features of the baby she had loved and talked to of his infant preference of herself Tom however had no mind for such treatment he came home not to stand and be talked to but to run about and make a noise and both boys had soon burst from her and slammed the parlour door till her temples ached {para} She had now seen all that were at home there remained only two brothers between herself and Susan one of whom was a clerk in a public office in London and the other midshipman on board an Indiaman But though she had seen all the members of the family she had not yet heard all the noise they could make Another quarter of an hour brought her a great deal more William was soon calling out from the landing place of the second story for his mother and for Rebecca He was in distress for something that he had left there and did not find again A key was mislaid Betsey accused of having got at his new hat and some slight but essential alteration of his uniform waistcoat which he had been promised to have done for him entirely neglected {para} Mrs Price Rebecca and Betsey all went up to defend themselves all talking together but Rebecca loudest and the job was to be done as well as it could in a great hurry William trying in vain to send Betsey down again or keep her from being troublesome where she was the whole of which as almost every door in the house was open could be plainly distinguished in the parlour except when drowned at intervals by the superior noise of Sam Tom and Charles chasing each other up and down stairs and tumbling about and hallooing {para} Fanny was almost stunned The smallness of the house and thinness of the walls brought everything so close to her that added to the fatigue of her journey and all her recent agitation she hardly knew how to bear it Within the room all was tranquil enough for Susan having disappeared with the others there were soon only her father and herself remaining and he taking out a newspaper the accustomary loan of a neighbour applied himself to studying it without seeming to recollect her existence The solitary candle was held between himself and the paper without any reference to her possible convenience but she had nothing to do and was glad to have the light screened from her aching head as she sat in bewildered broken sorrowful contemplation {para} She was at home But alas it was not such a home she had not such a welcome as she checked herself she was unreasonable What right had she to be of importance to her family She could have none so long lost sight of William 's concerns must be dearest they always had been and he had every right Yet to have so little said or asked about herself to have scarcely an inquiry made after Mansfield It did pain her to have Mansfield forgotten the friends who had done so much the dear dear friends But here one subject swallowed up all the rest Perhaps it must be so The destination of the Thrush must be now preeminently interesting A day or two might shew the difference She only was to blame Yet she thought it would not have been so at Mansfield No in her uncle 's house there would have been a consideration of times and seasons a regulation of subject a propriety an attention towards everybody which there was not here {para} The only interruption which thoughts like these received for nearly half an hour was from a sudden burst of her father 's not at all calculated to compose them At a more than ordinary pitch of thumping and hallooing in the passage he exclaimed Devil take those young dogs How they are singing out Ay Sam 's voice louder than all the rest That boy is fit for a boatswain Holla you there Sam stop your confounded pipe or I shall be after you {para} This threat was so palpably disregarded that though within five minutes afterwards the three boys all burst into the room together and sat down Fanny could not consider it as a proof of anything more than their being for the time thoroughly fagged which their hot faces and panting breaths seemed to prove especially as they were still kicking each other 's shins and hallooing out at sudden starts immediately under their father 's eye {para} The next opening of the door brought something more welcome it was for the tea things which she had begun almost to despair of seeing that evening Susan and an attendant girl whose inferior appearance informed Fanny to her great surprise that she had previously seen the upper servant brought in everything necessary for the meal Susan looking as she put the kettle on the fire and glanced at her sister as if divided between the agreeable triumph of shewing her activity and usefulness and the dread of being thought to demean herself by such an office She had been into the kitchen she said to hurry Sally and help make the toast and spread the bread and butter or she did not know when they should have got tea and she was sure her sister must want something after her journey {para} Fanny was very thankful She could not but own that she should be very glad of a little tea and Susan immediately set about making it as if pleased to have the employment all to herself and with only a little unnecessary bustle and some few injudicious attempts at keeping her brothers in better order than she could acquitted herself very well Fanny 's spirit was as much refreshed as her body her head and heart were soon the better for such well timed kindness Susan had an open sensible countenance she was like William and Fanny hoped to find her like him in disposition and goodwill towards herself {para} In this more placid state of things William reentered followed not far behind by his mother and Betsey He complete in his lieutenant 's uniform looking and moving all the taller firmer and more graceful for it and with the happiest smile over his face walked up directly to Fanny who rising from her seat looked at him for a moment in speechless admiration and then threw her arms round his neck to sob out her various emotions of pain and pleasure {para} Anxious not to appear unhappy she soon recovered herself and wiping away her tears was able to notice and admire all the striking parts of his dress listening with reviving spirits to his cheerful hopes of being on shore some part of every day before they sailed and even of getting her to Spithead to see the sloop {para} The next bustle brought in Mr Campbell the surgeon of the Thrush a very well behaved young man who came to call for his friend and for whom there was with some contrivance found a chair and with some hasty washing of the young tea maker 's a cup and saucer and after another quarter of an hour of earnest talk between the gentlemen noise rising upon noise and bustle upon bustle men and boys at last all in motion together the moment came for setting off everything was ready William took leave and all of them were gone for the three boys in spite of their mother 's entreaty determined to see their brother and Mr Campbell to the sally port and Mr Price walked off at the same time to carry back his neighbour 's newspaper {para} Something like tranquillity might now be hoped for and accordingly when Rebecca had been prevailed on to carry away the tea things and Mrs Price had walked about the room some time looking for a shirt sleeve which Betsey at last hunted out from a drawer in the kitchen the small party of females were pretty well composed and the mother having lamented again over the impossibility of getting Sam ready in time was at leisure to think of her eldest daughter and the friends she had come from {para} A few inquiries began but one of the earliest How did sister Bertram manage about her servants Was she as much plagued as herself to get tolerable servants soon led her mind away from Northamptonshire and fixed it on her own domestic grievances and the shocking character of all the Portsmouth servants of whom she believed her own two were the very worst engrossed her completely The Bertrams were all forgotten in detailing the faults of Rebecca against whom Susan had also much to depose and little Betsey a great deal more and who did seem so thoroughly without a single recommendation that Fanny could not help modestly presuming that her mother meant to part with her when her year was up {para} Her year cried Mrs Price I am sure I hope I shall be rid of her before she has staid a year for that will not be up till November Servants are come to such a pass my dear in Portsmouth that it is quite a miracle if one keeps them more than half a year I have no hope of ever being settled and if I was to part with Rebecca I should only get something worse And yet I do not think I am a very difficult mistress to please and I am sure the place is easy enough for there is always a girl under her and I often do half the work myself {para} Fanny was silent but not from being convinced that there might not be a remedy found for some of these evils As she now sat looking at Betsey she could not but think particularly of another sister a very pretty little girl whom she had left there not much younger when she went into Northamptonshire who had died a few years afterwards There had been something remarkably amiable about her Fanny in those early days had preferred her to Susan and when the news of her death had at last reached Mansfield had for a short time been quite afflicted The sight of Betsey brought the image of little Mary back again but she would not have pained her mother by alluding to her for the world While considering her with these ideas Betsey at a small distance was holding out something to catch her eyes meaning to screen it at the same time from Susan 's {para} What have you got there my love said Fanny come and shew it to me {para} It was a silver knife Up jumped Susan claiming it as her own and trying to get it away but the child ran to her mother 's protection and Susan could only reproach which she did very warmly and evidently hoping to interest Fanny on her side It was very hard that she was not to have her own knife it was her own knife little sister Mary had left it to her upon her deathbed and she ought to have had it to keep herself long ago But mama kept it from her and was always letting Betsey get hold of it and the end of it would be that Betsey would spoil it and get it for her own though mama had promised her that Betsey should not have it in her own hands {para} Fanny was quite shocked Every feeling of duty honour and tenderness was wounded by her sister 's speech and her mother 's reply {para} Now Susan cried Mrs Price in a complaining voice now how can you be so cross You are always quarrelling about that knife I wish you would not be so quarrelsome Poor little Betsey how cross Susan is to you But you should not have taken it out my dear when I sent you to the drawer You know I told you not to touch it because Susan is so cross about it I must hide it another time Betsey Poor Mary little thought it would be such a bone of contention when she gave it me to keep only two hours before she died Poor little soul she could but just speak to be heard and she said so prettily Let sister Susan have my knife mama when I am dead and buried Poor little dear she was so fond of it Fanny that she would have it lay by her in bed all through her illness It was the gift of her good godmother old Mrs Admiral Maxwell only six weeks before she was taken for death Poor little sweet creature Well she was taken away from evil to come My own Betsey fondling her you have not the luck of such a good godmother Aunt Norris lives too far off to think of such little people as you {para} Fanny had indeed nothing to convey from aunt Norris but a message to say she hoped that her god daughter was a good girl and learnt her book There had been at one moment a slight murmur in the drawing room at Mansfield Park about sending her a prayer book but no second sound had been heard of such a purpose Mrs Norris however had gone home and taken down two old prayer books of her husband with that idea but upon examination the ardour of generosity went off One was found to have too small a print for a child 's eyes and the other to be too cumbersome for her to carry about {para} Fanny fatigued and fatigued again was thankful to accept the first invitation of going to bed and before Betsey had finished her cry at being allowed to sit up only one hour extraordinary in honour of sister she was off leaving all below in confusion and noise again the boys begging for toasted cheese her father calling out for his rum and water and Rebecca never where she ought to be {para} There was nothing to raise her spirits in the confined and scantily furnished chamber that she was to share with Susan The smallness of the rooms above and below indeed and the narrowness of the passage and staircase struck her beyond her imagination She soon learned to think with respect of her own little attic at Mansfield Park in that house reckoned too small for anybody 's comfort {para} CHAPTER XXXIX {para} Could Sir Thomas have seen all his niece 's feelings when she wrote her first letter to her aunt he would not have despaired for though a good night 's rest a pleasant morning the hope of soon seeing William again and the comparatively quiet state of the house from Tom and Charles being gone to school Sam on some project of his own and her father on his usual lounges enabled her to express herself cheerfully on the subject of home there were still to her own perfect consciousness many drawbacks suppressed Could he have seen only half that she felt before the end of a week he would have thought Mr Crawford sure of her and been delighted with his own sagacity {para} Before the week ended it was all disappointment In the first place William was gone The Thrush had had her orders the wind had changed and he was sailed within four days from their reaching Portsmouth and during those days she had seen him only twice in a short and hurried way when he had come ashore on duty There had been no free conversation no walk on the ramparts no visit to the dockyard no acquaintance with the Thrush nothing of all that they had planned and depended on Everything in that quarter failed her except William 's affection His last thought on leaving home was for her He stepped back again to the door to say Take care of Fanny mother She is tender and not used to rough it like the rest of us I charge you take care of Fanny {para} William was gone and the home he had left her in was Fanny could not conceal it from herself in almost every respect the very reverse of what she could have wished It was the abode of noise disorder and impropriety Nobody was in their right place nothing was done as it ought to be She could not respect her parents as she had hoped On her father her confidence had not been sanguine but he was more negligent of his family his habits were worse and his manners coarser than she had been prepared for He did not want abilities but he had no curiosity and no information beyond his profession he read only the newspaper and the navy list he talked only of the dockyard the harbour Spithead and the Motherbank he swore and he drank he was dirty and gross She had never been able to recall anything approaching to tenderness in his former treatment of herself There had remained only a general impression of roughness and loudness and now he scarcely ever noticed her but to make her the object of a coarse joke {para} Her disappointment in her mother was greater there she had hoped much and found almost nothing Every flattering scheme of being of consequence to her soon fell to the ground Mrs Price was not unkind but instead of gaining on her affection and confidence and becoming more and more dear her daughter never met with greater kindness from her than on the first day of her arrival The instinct of nature was soon satisfied and Mrs Price 's attachment had no other source Her heart and her time were already quite full she had neither leisure nor affection to bestow on Fanny Her daughters never had been much to her She was fond of her sons especially of William but Betsey was the first of her girls whom she had ever much regarded To her she was most injudiciously indulgent William was her pride Betsey her darling and John Richard Sam Tom and Charles occupied all the rest of her maternal solicitude alternately her worries and her comforts These shared her heart her time was given chiefly to her house and her servants Her days were spent in a kind of slow bustle all was busy without getting on always behindhand and lamenting it without altering her ways wishing to be an economist without contrivance or regularity dissatisfied with her servants without skill to make them better and whether helping or reprimanding or indulging them without any power of engaging their respect {para} Of her two sisters Mrs Price very much more resembled Lady Bertram than Mrs Norris She was a manager by necessity without any of Mrs Norris 's inclination for it or any of her activity Her disposition was naturally easy and indolent like Lady Bertram 's and a situation of similar affluence and do nothingness would have been much more suited to her capacity than the exertions and self denials of the one which her imprudent marriage had placed her in She might have made just as good a woman of consequence as Lady Bertram but Mrs Norris would have been a more respectable mother of nine children on a small income {para} Much of all this Fanny could not but be sensible of She might scruple to make use of the words but she must and did feel that her mother was a partial ill judging parent a dawdle a slattern who neither taught nor restrained her children whose house was the scene of mismanagement and discomfort from beginning to end and who had no talent no conversation no affection towards herself no curiosity to know her better no desire of her friendship and no inclination for her company that could lessen her sense of such feelings {para} Fanny was very anxious to be useful and not to appear above her home or in any way disqualified or disinclined by her foreign education from contributing her help to its comforts and therefore set about working for Sam immediately and by working early and late with perseverance and great despatch did so much that the boy was shipped off at last with more than half his linen ready She had great pleasure in feeling her usefulness but could not conceive how they would have managed without her {para} Sam loud and overbearing as he was she rather regretted when he went for he was clever and intelligent and glad to be employed in any errand in the town and though spurning the remonstrances of Susan given as they were though very reasonable in themselves with ill timed and powerless warmth was beginning to be influenced by Fanny 's services and gentle persuasions and she found that the best of the three younger ones was gone in him Tom and Charles being at least as many years as they were his juniors distant from that age of feeling and reason which might suggest the expediency of making friends and of endeavouring to be less disagreeable Their sister soon despaired of making the smallest impression on them they were quite untameable by any means of address which she had spirits or time to attempt Every afternoon brought a return of their riotous games all over the house and she very early learned to sigh at the approach of Saturday 's constant half holiday {para} Betsey too a spoiled child trained up to think the alphabet her greatest enemy left to be with the servants at her pleasure and then encouraged to report any evil of them she was almost as ready to despair of being able to love or assist and of Susan 's temper she had many doubts Her continual disagreements with her mother her rash squabbles with Tom and Charles and petulance with Betsey were at least so distressing to Fanny that though admitting they were by no means without provocation she feared the disposition that could push them to such length must be far from amiable and from affording any repose to herself {para} Such was the home which was to put Mansfield out of her head and teach her to think of her cousin Edmund with moderated feelings On the contrary she could think of nothing but Mansfield its beloved inmates its happy ways Everything where she now was in full contrast to it The elegance propriety regularity harmony and perhaps above all the peace and tranquillity of Mansfield were brought to her remembrance every hour of the day by the prevalence of everything opposite to them here {para} The living in incessant noise was to a frame and temper delicate and nervous like Fanny 's an evil which no superadded elegance or harmony could have entirely atoned for It was the greatest misery of all At Mansfield no sounds of contention no raised voice no abrupt bursts no tread of violence was ever heard all proceeded in a regular course of cheerful orderliness everybody had their due importance everybody 's feelings were consulted If tenderness could be ever supposed wanting good sense and good breeding supplied its place and as to the little irritations sometimes introduced by aunt Norris they were short they were trifling they were as a drop of water to the ocean compared with the ceaseless tumult of her present abode Here everybody was noisy every voice was loud excepting perhaps her mother 's which resembled the soft monotony of Lady Bertram 's only worn into fretfulness Whatever was wanted was hallooed for and the servants hallooed out their excuses from the kitchen The doors were in constant banging the stairs were never at rest nothing was done without a clatter nobody sat still and nobody could command attention when they spoke {para} In a review of the two houses as they appeared to her before the end of a week Fanny was tempted to apply to them Dr Johnson 's celebrated judgment as to matrimony and celibacy and say that though Mansfield Park might have some pains Portsmouth could have no pleasures {para} CHAPTER XL {para} Fanny was right enough in not expecting to hear from Miss Crawford now at the rapid rate in which their correspondence had begun Mary 's next letter was after a decidedly longer interval than the last but she was not right in supposing that such an interval would be felt a great relief to herself Here was another strange revolution of mind She was really glad to receive the letter when it did come In her present exile from good society and distance from everything that had been wont to interest her a letter from one belonging to the set where her heart lived written with affection and some degree of elegance was thoroughly acceptable The usual plea of increasing engagements was made in excuse for not having written to her earlier And now that I have begun she continued my letter will not be worth your reading for there will be no little offering of love at the end no three or four lines passionnees from the most devoted H C in the world for Henry is in Norfolk business called him to Everingham ten days ago or perhaps he only pretended to call for the sake of being travelling at the same time that you were But there he is and by the bye his absence may sufficiently account for any remissness of his sister 's in writing for there has been no Well Mary when do you write to Fanny Is not it time for you to write to Fanny to spur me on At last after various attempts at meeting I have seen your cousins dear Julia and dearest Mrs Rushworth they found me at home yesterday and we were glad to see each other again We seemed very glad to see each other and I do really think we were a little We had a vast deal to say Shall I tell you how Mrs Rushworth looked when your name was mentioned I did not use to think her wanting in self possession but she had not quite enough for the demands of yesterday Upon the whole Julia was in the best looks of the two at least after you were spoken of There was no recovering the complexion from the moment that I spoke of Fanny and spoke of her as a sister should But Mrs Rushworth 's day of good looks will come we have cards for her first party on the 28th Then she will be in beauty for she will open one of the best houses in Wimpole Street I was in it two years ago when it was Lady Lascelle 's and prefer it to almost any I know in London and certainly she will then feel to use a vulgar phrase that she has got her pennyworth for her penny Henry could not have afforded her such a house I hope she will recollect it and be satisfied as well as she may with moving the queen of a palace though the king may appear best in the background and as I have no desire to tease her I shall never force your name upon her again She will grow sober by degrees From all that I hear and guess Baron Wildenheim 's attentions to Julia continue but I do not know that he has any serious encouragement She ought to do better A poor honourable is no catch and I cannot imagine any liking in the case for take away his rants and the poor baron has nothing What a difference a vowel makes If his rents were but equal to his rants Your cousin Edmund moves slowly detained perchance by parish duties There may be some old woman at Thornton Lacey to be converted I am unwilling to fancy myself neglected for a young one Adieu my dear sweet Fanny this is a long letter from London write me a pretty one in reply to gladden Henry 's eyes when he comes back and send me an account of all the dashing young captains whom you disdain for his sake {para} There was great food for meditation in this letter and chiefly for unpleasant meditation and yet with all the uneasiness it supplied it connected her with the absent it told her of people and things about whom she had never felt so much curiosity as now and she would have been glad to have been sure of such a letter every week Her correspondence with her aunt Bertram was her only concern of higher interest {para} As for any society in Portsmouth that could at all make amends for deficiencies at home there were none within the circle of her father 's and mother 's acquaintance to afford her the smallest satisfaction she saw nobody in whose favour she could wish to overcome her own shyness and reserve The men appeared to her all coarse the women all pert everybody underbred and she gave as little contentment as she received from introductions either to old or new acquaintance The young ladies who approached her at first with some respect in consideration of her coming from a baronet 's family were soon offended by what they termed airs for as she neither played on the pianoforte nor wore fine pelisses they could on farther observation admit no right of superiority {para} The first solid consolation which Fanny received for the evils of home the first which her judgment could entirely approve and which gave any promise of durability was in a better knowledge of Susan and a hope of being of service to her Susan had always behaved pleasantly to herself but the determined character of her general manners had astonished and alarmed her and it was at least a fortnight before she began to understand a disposition so totally different from her own Susan saw that much was wrong at home and wanted to set it right That a girl of fourteen acting only on her own unassisted reason should err in the method of reform was not wonderful and Fanny soon became more disposed to admire the natural light of the mind which could so early distinguish justly than to censure severely the faults of conduct to which it led Susan was only acting on the same truths and pursuing the same system which her own judgment acknowledged but which her more supine and yielding temper would have shrunk from asserting Susan tried to be useful where she could only have gone away and cried and that Susan was useful she could perceive that things bad as they were would have been worse but for such interposition and that both her mother and Betsey were restrained from some excesses of very offensive indulgence and vulgarity {para} In every argument with her mother Susan had in point of reason the advantage and never was there any maternal tenderness to buy her off The blind fondness which was for ever producing evil around her she had never known There was no gratitude for affection past or present to make her better bear with its excesses to the others {para} All this became gradually evident and gradually placed Susan before her sister as an object of mingled compassion and respect That her manner was wrong however at times very wrong her measures often ill chosen and ill timed and her looks and language very often indefensible Fanny could not cease to feel but she began to hope they might be rectified Susan she found looked up to her and wished for her good opinion and new as anything like an office of authority was to Fanny new as it was to imagine herself capable of guiding or informing any one she did resolve to give occasional hints to Susan and endeavour to exercise for her advantage the juster notions of what was due to everybody and what would be wisest for herself which her own more favoured education had fixed in her {para} Her influence or at least the consciousness and use of it originated in an act of kindness by Susan which after many hesitations of delicacy she at last worked herself up to It had very early occurred to her that a small sum of money might perhaps restore peace for ever on the sore subject of the silver knife canvassed as it now was continually and the riches which she was in possession of herself her uncle having given her 10 at parting made her as able as she was willing to be generous But she was so wholly unused to confer favours except on the very poor so unpractised in removing evils or bestowing kindnesses among her equals and so fearful of appearing to elevate herself as a great lady at home that it took some time to determine that it would not be unbecoming in her to make such a present It was made however at last a silver knife was bought for Betsey and accepted with great delight its newness giving it every advantage over the other that could be desired Susan was established in the full possession of her own Betsey handsomely declaring that now she had got one so much prettier herself she should never want that again and no reproach seemed conveyed to the equally satisfied mother which Fanny had almost feared to be impossible The deed thoroughly answered a source of domestic altercation was entirely done away and it was the means of opening Susan 's heart to her and giving her something more to love and be interested in Susan shewed that she had delicacy pleased as she was to be mistress of property which she had been struggling for at least two years she yet feared that her sister 's judgment had been against her and that a reproof was designed her for having so struggled as to make the purchase necessary for the tranquillity of the house {para} Her temper was open She acknowledged her fears blamed herself for having contended so warmly and from that hour Fanny understanding the worth of her disposition and perceiving how fully she was inclined to seek her good opinion and refer to her judgment began to feel again the blessing of affection and to entertain the hope of being useful to a mind so much in need of help and so much deserving it She gave advice advice too sound to be resisted by a good understanding and given so mildly and considerately as not to irritate an imperfect temper and she had the happiness of observing its good effects not unfrequently More was not expected by one who while seeing all the obligation and expediency of submission and forbearance saw also with sympathetic acuteness of feeling all that must be hourly grating to a girl like Susan Her greatest wonder on the subject soon became not that Susan should have been provoked into disrespect and impatience against her better knowledge but that so much better knowledge so many good notions should have been hers at all and that brought up in the midst of negligence and error she should have formed such proper opinions of what ought to be she who had had no cousin Edmund to direct her thoughts or fix her principles {para} The intimacy thus begun between them was a material advantage to each By sitting together upstairs they avoided a great deal of the disturbance of the house Fanny had peace and Susan learned to think it no misfortune to be quietly employed They sat without a fire but that was a privation familiar even to Fanny and she suffered the less because reminded by it of the East room It was the only point of resemblance In space light furniture and prospect there was nothing alike in the two apartments and she often heaved a sigh at the remembrance of all her books and boxes and various comforts there By degrees the girls came to spend the chief of the morning upstairs at first only in working and talking but after a few days the remembrance of the said books grew so potent and stimulative that Fanny found it impossible not to try for books again There were none in her father 's house but wealth is luxurious and daring and some of hers found its way to a circulating library She became a subscriber amazed at being anything in propria persona amazed at her own doings in every way to be a renter a chuser of books And to be having any one 's improvement in view in her choice But so it was Susan had read nothing and Fanny longed to give her a share in her own first pleasures and inspire a taste for the biography and poetry which she delighted in herself {para} In this occupation she hoped moreover to bury some of the recollections of Mansfield which were too apt to seize her mind if her fingers only were busy and especially at this time hoped it might be useful in diverting her thoughts from pursuing Edmund to London whither on the authority of her aunt 's last letter she knew he was gone She had no doubt of what would ensue The promised notification was hanging over her head The postman 's knock within the neighbourhood was beginning to bring its daily terrors and if reading could banish the idea for even half an hour it was something gained {para} CHAPTER XLI {para} A week was gone since Edmund might be supposed in town and Fanny had heard nothing of him There were three different conclusions to be drawn from his silence between which her mind was in fluctuation each of them at times being held the most probable Either his going had been again delayed or he had yet procured no opportunity of seeing Miss Crawford alone or he was too happy for letter writing {para} One morning about this time Fanny having now been nearly four weeks from Mansfield a point which she never failed to think over and calculate every day as she and Susan were preparing to remove as usual upstairs they were stopped by the knock of a visitor whom they felt they could not avoid from Rebecca 's alertness in going to the door a duty which always interested her beyond any other {para} It was a gentleman 's voice it was a voice that Fanny was just turning pale about when Mr Crawford walked into the room {para} Good sense like hers will always act when really called upon and she found that she had been able to name him to her mother and recall her remembrance of the name as that of William 's friend though she could not previously have believed herself capable of uttering a syllable at such a moment The consciousness of his being known there only as William 's friend was some support Having introduced him however and being all reseated the terrors that occurred of what this visit might lead to were overpowering and she fancied herself on the point of fainting away {para} While trying to keep herself alive their visitor who had at first approached her with as animated a countenance as ever was wisely and kindly keeping his eyes away and giving her time to recover while he devoted himself entirely to her mother addressing her and attending to her with the utmost politeness and propriety at the same time with a degree of friendliness of interest at least which was making his manner perfect {para} Mrs Price 's manners were also at their best Warmed by the sight of such a friend to her son and regulated by the wish of appearing to advantage before him she was overflowing with gratitude artless maternal gratitude which could not be unpleasing Mr Price was out which she regretted very much Fanny was just recovered enough to feel that she could not regret it for to her many other sources of uneasiness was added the severe one of shame for the home in which he found her She might scold herself for the weakness but there was no scolding it away She was ashamed and she would have been yet more ashamed of her father than of all the rest {para} They talked of William a subject on which Mrs Price could never tire and Mr Crawford was as warm in his commendation as even her heart could wish She felt that she had never seen so agreeable a man in her life and was only astonished to find that so great and so agreeable as he was he should be come down to Portsmouth neither on a visit to the port admiral nor the commissioner nor yet with the intention of going over to the island nor of seeing the dockyard Nothing of all that she had been used to think of as the proof of importance or the employment of wealth had brought him to Portsmouth He had reached it late the night before was come for a day or two was staying at the Crown had accidentally met with a navy officer or two of his acquaintance since his arrival but had no object of that kind in coming {para} By the time he had given all this information it was not unreasonable to suppose that Fanny might be looked at and spoken to and she was tolerably able to bear his eye and hear that he had spent half an hour with his sister the evening before his leaving London that she had sent her best and kindest love but had had no time for writing that he thought himself lucky in seeing Mary for even half an hour having spent scarcely twenty four hours in London after his return from Norfolk before he set off again that her cousin Edmund was in town had been in town he understood a few days that he had not seen him himself but that he was well had left them all well at Mansfield and was to dine as yesterday with the Frasers {para} Fanny listened collectedly even to the last mentioned circumstance nay it seemed a relief to her worn mind to be at any certainty and the words then by this time it is all settled passed internally without more evidence of emotion than a faint blush {para} After talking a little more about Mansfield a subject in which her interest was most apparent Crawford began to hint at the expediency of an early walk It was a lovely morning and at that season of the year a fine morning so often turned off that it was wisest for everybody not to delay their exercise and such hints producing nothing he soon proceeded to a positive recommendation to Mrs Price and her daughters to take their walk without loss of time Now they came to an understanding Mrs Price it appeared scarcely ever stirred out of doors except of a Sunday she owned she could seldom with her large family find time for a walk Would she not then persuade her daughters to take advantage of such weather and allow him the pleasure of attending them Mrs Price was greatly obliged and very complying Her daughters were very much confined Portsmouth was a sad place they did not often get out and she knew they had some errands in the town which they would be very glad to do And the consequence was that Fanny strange as it was strange awkward and distressing found herself and Susan within ten minutes walking towards the High Street with Mr Crawford {para} It was soon pain upon pain confusion upon confusion for they were hardly in the High Street before they met her father whose appearance was not the better from its being Saturday He stopt and ungentlemanlike as he looked Fanny was obliged to introduce him to Mr Crawford She could not have a doubt of the manner in which Mr Crawford must be struck He must be ashamed and disgusted altogether He must soon give her up and cease to have the smallest inclination for the match and yet though she had been so much wanting his affection to be cured this was a sort of cure that would be almost as bad as the complaint and I believe there is scarcely a young lady in the United Kingdoms who would not rather put up with the misfortune of being sought by a clever agreeable man than have him driven away by the vulgarity of her nearest relations {para} Mr Crawford probably could not regard his future father in law with any idea of taking him for a model in dress but as Fanny instantly and to her great relief discerned her father was a very different man a very different Mr Price in his behaviour to this most highly respected stranger from what he was in his own family at home His manners now though not polished were more than passable they were grateful animated manly his expressions were those of an attached father and a sensible man his loud tones did very well in the open air and there was not a single oath to be heard Such was his instinctive compliment to the good manners of Mr Crawford and be the consequence what it might Fanny 's immediate feelings were infinitely soothed {para} The conclusion of the two gentlemen 's civilities was an offer of Mr Price 's to take Mr Crawford into the dockyard which Mr Crawford desirous of accepting as a favour what was intended as such though he had seen the dockyard again and again and hoping to be so much the longer with Fanny was very gratefully disposed to avail himself of if the Miss Prices were not afraid of the fatigue and as it was somehow or other ascertained or inferred or at least acted upon that they were not at all afraid to the dockyard they were all to go and but for Mr Crawford Mr Price would have turned thither directly without the smallest consideration for his daughters errands in the High Street He took care however that they should be allowed to go to the shops they came out expressly to visit and it did not delay them long for Fanny could so little bear to excite impatience or be waited for that before the gentlemen as they stood at the door could do more than begin upon the last naval regulations or settle the number of three deckers now in commission their companions were ready to proceed {para} They were then to set forward for the dockyard at once and the walk would have been conducted according to Mr Crawford 's opinion in a singular manner had Mr Price been allowed the entire regulation of it as the two girls he found would have been left to follow and keep up with them or not as they could while they walked on together at their own hasty pace He was able to introduce some improvement occasionally though by no means to the extent he wished he absolutely would not walk away from them and at any crossing or any crowd when Mr Price was only calling out Come girls come Fan come Sue take care of yourselves keep a sharp lookout he would give them his particular attendance {para} Once fairly in the dockyard he began to reckon upon some happy intercourse with Fanny as they were very soon joined by a brother lounger of Mr Price 's who was come to take his daily survey of how things went on and who must prove a far more worthy companion than himself and after a time the two officers seemed very well satisfied going about together and discussing matters of equal and never failing interest while the young people sat down upon some timbers in the yard or found a seat on board a vessel in the stocks which they all went to look at Fanny was most conveniently in want of rest Crawford could not have wished her more fatigued or more ready to sit down but he could have wished her sister away A quick looking girl of Susan 's age was the very worst third in the world totally different from Lady Bertram all eyes and ears and there was no introducing the main point before her He must content himself with being only generally agreeable and letting Susan have her share of entertainment with the indulgence now and then of a look or hint for the better informed and conscious Fanny Norfolk was what he had mostly to talk of there he had been some time and everything there was rising in importance from his present schemes Such a man could come from no place no society without importing something to amuse his journeys and his acquaintance were all of use and Susan was entertained in a way quite new to her For Fanny somewhat more was related than the accidental agreeableness of the parties he had been in For her approbation the particular reason of his going into Norfolk at all at this unusual time of year was given It had been real business relative to the renewal of a lease in which the welfare of a large and he believed industrious family was at stake He had suspected his agent of some underhand dealing of meaning to bias him against the deserving and he had determined to go himself and thoroughly investigate the merits of the case He had gone had done even more good than he had foreseen had been useful to more than his first plan had comprehended and was now able to congratulate himself upon it and to feel that in performing a duty he had secured agreeable recollections for his own mind He had introduced himself to some tenants whom he had never seen before he had begun making acquaintance with cottages whose very existence though on his own estate had been hitherto unknown to him This was aimed and well aimed at Fanny It was pleasing to hear him speak so properly here he had been acting as he ought to do To be the friend of the poor and the oppressed Nothing could be more grateful to her and she was on the point of giving him an approving look when it was all frightened off by his adding a something too pointed of his hoping soon to have an assistant a friend a guide in every plan of utility or charity for Everingham a somebody that would make Everingham and all about it a dearer object than it had ever been yet {para} She turned away and wished he would not say such things She was willing to allow he might have more good qualities than she had been wont to suppose She began to feel the possibility of his turning out well at last but he was and must ever be completely unsuited to her and ought not to think of her {para} He perceived that enough had been said of Everingham and that it would be as well to talk of something else and turned to Mansfield He could not have chosen better that was a topic to bring back her attention and her looks almost instantly It was a real indulgence to her to hear or to speak of Mansfield Now so long divided from everybody who knew the place she felt it quite the voice of a friend when he mentioned it and led the way to her fond exclamations in praise of its beauties and comforts and by his honourable tribute to its inhabitants allowed her to gratify her own heart in the warmest eulogium in speaking of her uncle as all that was clever and good and her aunt as having the sweetest of all sweet tempers {para} He had a great attachment to Mansfield himself he said so he looked forward with the hope of spending much very much of his time there always there or in the neighbourhood He particularly built upon a very happy summer and autumn there this year he felt that it would be so he depended upon it a summer and autumn infinitely superior to the last As animated as diversified as social but with circumstances of superiority undescribable {para} Mansfield Sotherton Thornton Lacey he continued what a society will be comprised in those houses And at Michaelmas perhaps a fourth may be added some small hunting box in the vicinity of everything so dear for as to any partnership in Thornton Lacey as Edmund Bertram once good humouredly proposed I hope I foresee two objections two fair excellent irresistible objections to that plan {para} Fanny was doubly silenced here though when the moment was passed could regret that she had not forced herself into the acknowledged comprehension of one half of his meaning and encouraged him to say something more of his sister and Edmund It was a subject which she must learn to speak of and the weakness that shrunk from it would soon be quite unpardonable {para} When Mr Price and his friend had seen all that they wished or had time for the others were ready to return and in the course of their walk back Mr Crawford contrived a minute 's privacy for telling Fanny that his only business in Portsmouth was to see her that he was come down for a couple of days on her account and hers only and because he could not endure a longer total separation She was sorry really sorry and yet in spite of this and the two or three other things which she wished he had not said she thought him altogether improved since she had seen him he was much more gentle obliging and attentive to other people 's feelings than he had ever been at Mansfield she had never seen him so agreeable so near being agreeable his behaviour to her father could not offend and there was something particularly kind and proper in the notice he took of Susan He was decidedly improved She wished the next day over she wished he had come only for one day but it was not so very bad as she would have expected the pleasure of talking of Mansfield was so very great {para} Before they parted she had to thank him for another pleasure and one of no trivial kind Her father asked him to do them the honour of taking his mutton with them and Fanny had time for only one thrill of horror before he declared himself prevented by a prior engagement He was engaged to dinner already both for that day and the next he had met with some acquaintance at the Crown who would not be denied he should have the honour however of waiting on them again on the morrow etc and so they parted Fanny in a state of actual felicity from escaping so horrible an evil {para} To have had him join their family dinner party and see all their deficiencies would have been dreadful Rebecca 's cookery and Rebecca 's waiting and Betsey 's eating at table without restraint and pulling everything about as she chose were what Fanny herself was not yet enough inured to for her often to make a tolerable meal She was nice only from natural delicacy but he had been brought up in a school of luxury and epicurism {para} CHAPTER XLII {para} The Prices were just setting off for church the next day when Mr Crawford appeared again He came not to stop but to join them he was asked to go with them to the Garrison chapel which was exactly what he had intended and they all walked thither together {para} The family were now seen to advantage Nature had given them no inconsiderable share of beauty and every Sunday dressed them in their cleanest skins and best attire Sunday always brought this comfort to Fanny and on this Sunday she felt it more than ever Her poor mother now did not look so very unworthy of being Lady Bertram 's sister as she was but too apt to look It often grieved her to the heart to think of the contrast between them to think that where nature had made so little difference circumstances should have made so much and that her mother as handsome as Lady Bertram and some years her junior should have an appearance so much more worn and faded so comfortless so slatternly so shabby But Sunday made her a very creditable and tolerably cheerful looking Mrs Price coming abroad with a fine family of children feeling a little respite of her weekly cares and only discomposed if she saw her boys run into danger or Rebecca pass by with a flower in her hat {para} In chapel they were obliged to divide but Mr Crawford took care not to be divided from the female branch and after chapel he still continued with them and made one in the family party on the ramparts {para} Mrs Price took her weekly walk on the ramparts every fine Sunday throughout the year always going directly after morning service and staying till dinner time It was her public place there she met her acquaintance heard a little news talked over the badness of the Portsmouth servants and wound up her spirits for the six days ensuing {para} Thither they now went Mr Crawford most happy to consider the Miss Prices as his peculiar charge and before they had been there long somehow or other there was no saying how Fanny could not have believed it but he was walking between them with an arm of each under his and she did not know how to prevent or put an end to it It made her uncomfortable for a time but yet there were enjoyments in the day and in the view which would be felt {para} The day was uncommonly lovely It was really March but it was April in its mild air brisk soft wind and bright sun occasionally clouded for a minute and everything looked so beautiful under the influence of such a sky the effects of the shadows pursuing each other on the ships at Spithead and the island beyond with the ever varying hues of the sea now at high water dancing in its glee and dashing against the ramparts with so fine a sound produced altogether such a combination of charms for Fanny as made her gradually almost careless of the circumstances under which she felt them Nay had she been without his arm she would soon have known that she needed it for she wanted strength for a two hours saunter of this kind coming as it generally did upon a week 's previous inactivity Fanny was beginning to feel the effect of being debarred from her usual regular exercise she had lost ground as to health since her being in Portsmouth and but for Mr Crawford and the beauty of the weather would soon have been knocked up now {para} The loveliness of the day and of the view he felt like herself They often stopt with the same sentiment and taste leaning against the wall some minutes to look and admire and considering he was not Edmund Fanny could not but allow that he was sufficiently open to the charms of nature and very well able to express his admiration She had a few tender reveries now and then which he could sometimes take advantage of to look in her face without detection and the result of these looks was that though as bewitching as ever her face was less blooming than it ought to be She said she was very well and did not like to be supposed otherwise but take it all in all he was convinced that her present residence could not be comfortable and therefore could not be salutary for her and he was growing anxious for her being again at Mansfield where her own happiness and his in seeing her must be so much greater {para} You have been here a month I think said he {para} No not quite a month It is only four weeks to morrow since I left Mansfield {para} You are a most accurate and honest reckoner I should call that a month {para} I did not arrive here till Tuesday evening {para} And it is to be a two months visit is not {para} Yes My uncle talked of two months I suppose it will not be less {para} And how are you to be conveyed back again Who comes for you {para} I do not know I have heard nothing about it yet from my aunt Perhaps I may be to stay longer It may not be convenient for me to be fetched exactly at the two months end {para} After a moment 's reflection Mr Crawford replied I know Mansfield I know its way I know its faults towards you I know the danger of your being so far forgotten as to have your comforts give way to the imaginary convenience of any single being in the family I am aware that you may be left here week after week if Sir Thomas cannot settle everything for coming himself or sending your aunt 's maid for you without involving the slightest alteration of the arrangements which he may have laid down for the next quarter of a year This will not do Two months is an ample allowance I should think six weeks quite enough I am considering your sister 's health said he addressing himself to Susan which I think the confinement of Portsmouth unfavourable to She requires constant air and exercise When you know her as well as I do I am sure you will agree that she does and that she ought never to be long banished from the free air and liberty of the country If therefore turning again to Fanny you find yourself growing unwell and any difficulties arise about your returning to Mansfield without waiting for the two months to be ended that must not be regarded as of any consequence if you feel yourself at all less strong or comfortable than usual and will only let my sister know it give her only the slightest hint she and I will immediately come down and take you back to Mansfield You know the ease and the pleasure with which this would be done You know all that would be felt on the occasion {para} Fanny thanked him but tried to laugh it off {para} I am perfectly serious he replied as you perfectly know And I hope you will not be cruelly concealing any tendency to indisposition Indeed you shall not it shall not be in your power for so long only as you positively say in every letter to Mary I am well and I know you cannot speak or write a falsehood so long only shall you be considered as well {para} Fanny thanked him again but was affected and distressed to a degree that made it impossible for her to say much or even to be certain of what she ought to say This was towards the close of their walk He attended them to the last and left them only at the door of their own house when he knew them to be going to dinner and therefore pretended to be waited for elsewhere {para} I wish you were not so tired said he still detaining Fanny after all the others were in the house I wish I left you in stronger health Is there anything I can do for you in town I have half an idea of going into Norfolk again soon I am not satisfied about Maddison I am sure he still means to impose on me if possible and get a cousin of his own into a certain mill which I design for somebody else I must come to an understanding with him I must make him know that I will not be tricked on the south side of Everingham any more than on the north that I will be master of my own property I was not explicit enough with him before The mischief such a man does on an estate both as to the credit of his employer and the welfare of the poor is inconceivable I have a great mind to go back into Norfolk directly and put everything at once on such a footing as cannot be afterwards swerved from Maddison is a clever fellow I do not wish to displace him provided he does not try to displace me but it would be simple to be duped by a man who has no right of creditor to dupe me and worse than simple to let him give me a hard hearted griping fellow for a tenant instead of an honest man to whom I have given half a promise already Would it not be worse than simple Shall I go Do you advise it {para} I advise You know very well what is right {para} Yes When you give me your opinion I always know what is right Your judgment is my rule of right {para} Oh no do not say so We have all a better guide in ourselves if we would attend to it than any other person can be Good bye I wish you a pleasant journey to morrow {para} Is there nothing I can do for you in town {para} Nothing I am much obliged to you {para} Have you no message for anybody {para} My love to your sister if you please and when you see my cousin my cousin Edmund I wish you would be so good as to say that I suppose I shall soon hear from him {para} Certainly and if he is lazy or negligent I will write his excuses myself {para} He could say no more for Fanny would be no longer detained He pressed her hand looked at her and was gone He went to while away the next three hours as he could with his other acquaintance till the best dinner that a capital inn afforded was ready for their enjoyment and she turned in to her more simple one immediately {para} Their general fare bore a very different character and could he have suspected how many privations besides that of exercise she endured in her father 's house he would have wondered that her looks were not much more affected than he found them She was so little equal to Rebecca 's puddings and Rebecca 's hashes brought to table as they all were with such accompaniments of half cleaned plates and not half cleaned knives and forks that she was very often constrained to defer her heartiest meal till she could send her brothers in the evening for biscuits and buns After being nursed up at Mansfield it was too late in the day to be hardened at Portsmouth and though Sir Thomas had he known all might have thought his niece in the most promising way of being starved both mind and body into a much juster value for Mr Crawford 's good company and good fortune he would probably have feared to push his experiment farther lest she might die under the cure {para} Fanny was out of spirits all the rest of the day Though tolerably secure of not seeing Mr Crawford again she could not help being low It was parting with somebody of the nature of a friend and though in one light glad to have him gone it seemed as if she was now deserted by everybody it was a sort of renewed separation from Mansfield and she could not think of his returning to town and being frequently with Mary and Edmund without feelings so near akin to envy as made her hate herself for having them {para} Her dejection had no abatement from anything passing around her a friend or two of her father 's as always happened if he was not with them spent the long long evening there and from six o'clock till half past nine there was little intermission of noise or grog She was very low The wonderful improvement which she still fancied in Mr Crawford was the nearest to administering comfort of anything within the current of her thoughts Not considering in how different a circle she had been just seeing him nor how much might be owing to contrast she was quite persuaded of his being astonishingly more gentle and regardful of others than formerly And if in little things must it not be so in great So anxious for her health and comfort so very feeling as he now expressed himself and really seemed might not it be fairly supposed that he would not much longer persevere in a suit so distressing to her {para} CHAPTER XLIII {para} It was presumed that Mr Crawford was travelling back to London on the morrow for nothing more was seen of him at Mr Price 's and two days afterwards it was a fact ascertained to Fanny by the following letter from his sister opened and read by her on another account with the most anxious curiosity {para} I have to inform you my dearest Fanny that Henry has been down to Portsmouth to see you that he had a delightful walk with you to the dockyard last Saturday and one still more to be dwelt on the next day on the ramparts when the balmy air the sparkling sea and your sweet looks and conversation were altogether in the most delicious harmony and afforded sensations which are to raise ecstasy even in retrospect This as well as I understand is to be the substance of my information He makes me write but I do not know what else is to be communicated except this said visit to Portsmouth and these two said walks and his introduction to your family especially to a fair sister of yours a fine girl of fifteen who was of the party on the ramparts taking her first lesson I presume in love I have not time for writing much but it would be out of place if I had for this is to be a mere letter of business penned for the purpose of conveying necessary information which could not be delayed without risk of evil My dear dear Fanny if I had you here how I would talk to you You should listen to me till you were tired and advise me till you were still tired more but it is impossible to put a hundredth part of my great mind on paper so I will abstain altogether and leave you to guess what you like I have no news for you You have politics of course and it would be too bad to plague you with the names of people and parties that fill up my time I ought to have sent you an account of your cousin 's first party but I was lazy and now it is too long ago suffice it that everything was just as it ought to be in a style that any of her connexions must have been gratified to witness and that her own dress and manners did her the greatest credit My friend Mrs Fraser is mad for such a house and it would not make me miserable I go to Lady Stornaway after Easter she seems in high spirits and very happy I fancy Lord S is very good humoured and pleasant in his own family and I do not think him so very ill looking as I did at least one sees many worse He will not do by the side of your cousin Edmund Of the last mentioned hero what shall I say If I avoided his name entirely it would look suspicious I will say then that we have seen him two or three times and that my friends here are very much struck with his gentlemanlike appearance Mrs Fraser no bad judge declares she knows but three men in town who have so good a person height and air and I must confess when he dined here the other day there were none to compare with him and we were a party of sixteen Luckily there is no distinction of dress nowadays to tell tales but but but Yours affectionately {para} I had almost forgot it was Edmund 's fault he gets into my head more than does me good one very material thing I had to say from Henry and myself I mean about our taking you back into Northamptonshire My dear little creature do not stay at Portsmouth to lose your pretty looks Those vile sea breezes are the ruin of beauty and health My poor aunt always felt affected if within ten miles of the sea which the Admiral of course never believed but I know it was so I am at your service and Henry 's at an hour 's notice I should like the scheme and we would make a little circuit and shew you Everingham in our way and perhaps you would not mind passing through London and seeing the inside of St George 's Hanover Square Only keep your cousin Edmund from me at such a time I should not like to be tempted What a long letter one word more Henry I find has some idea of going into Norfolk again upon some business that you approve but this cannot possibly be permitted before the middle of next week that is he cannot anyhow be spared till after the l4th for we have a party that evening The value of a man like Henry on such an occasion is what you can have no conception of so you must take it upon my word to be inestimable He will see the Rushworths which own I am not sorry for having a little curiosity and so I think has he though he will not acknowledge it {para} This was a letter to be run through eagerly to be read deliberately to supply matter for much reflection and to leave everything in greater suspense than ever The only certainty to be drawn from it was that nothing decisive had yet taken place Edmund had not yet spoken How Miss Crawford really felt how she meant to act or might act without or against her meaning whether his importance to her were quite what it had been before the last separation whether if lessened it were likely to lessen more or to recover itself were subjects for endless conjecture and to be thought of on that day and many days to come without producing any conclusion The idea that returned the oftenest was that Miss Crawford after proving herself cooled and staggered by a return to London habits would yet prove herself in the end too much attached to him to give him up She would try to be more ambitious than her heart would allow She would hesitate she would tease she would condition she would require a great deal but she would finally accept {para} This was Fanny 's most frequent expectation A house in town that she thought must be impossible Yet there was no saying what Miss Crawford might not ask The prospect for her cousin grew worse and worse The woman who could speak of him and speak only of his appearance What an unworthy attachment To be deriving support from the commendations of Mrs Fraser She who had known him intimately half a year Fanny was ashamed of her Those parts of the letter which related only to Mr Crawford and herself touched her in comparison slightly Whether Mr Crawford went into Norfolk before or after the 14th was certainly no concern of hers though everything considered she thought he would go without delay That Miss Crawford should endeavour to secure a meeting between him and Mrs Rushworth was all in her worst line of conduct and grossly unkind and ill judged but she hoped he would not be actuated by any such degrading curiosity He acknowledged no such inducement and his sister ought to have given him credit for better feelings than her own {para} She was yet more impatient for another letter from town after receiving this than she had been before and for a few days was so unsettled by it altogether by what had come and what might come that her usual readings and conversation with Susan were much suspended She could not command her attention as she wished If Mr Crawford remembered her message to her cousin she thought it very likely most likely that he would write to her at all events it would be most consistent with his usual kindness and till she got rid of this idea till it gradually wore off by no letters appearing in the course of three or four days more she was in a most restless anxious state {para} At length a something like composure succeeded Suspense must be submitted to and must not be allowed to wear her out and make her useless Time did something her own exertions something more and she resumed her attentions to Susan and again awakened the same interest in them {para} Susan was growing very fond of her and though without any of the early delight in books which had been so strong in Fanny with a disposition much less inclined to sedentary pursuits or to information for information 's sake she had so strong a desire of not appearing ignorant as with a good clear understanding made her a most attentive profitable thankful pupil Fanny was her oracle Fanny 's explanations and remarks were a most important addition to every essay or every chapter of history What Fanny told her of former times dwelt more on her mind than the pages of Goldsmith and she paid her sister the compliment of preferring her style to that of any printed author The early habit of reading was wanting {para} Their conversations however were not always on subjects so high as history or morals Others had their hour and of lesser matters none returned so often or remained so long between them as Mansfield Park a description of the people the manners the amusements the ways of Mansfield Park Susan who had an innate taste for the genteel and well appointed was eager to hear and Fanny could not but indulge herself in dwelling on so beloved a theme She hoped it was not wrong though after a time Susan 's very great admiration of everything said or done in her uncle 's house and earnest longing to go into Northamptonshire seemed almost to blame her for exciting feelings which could not be gratified {para} Poor Susan was very little better fitted for home than her elder sister and as Fanny grew thoroughly to understand this she began to feel that when her own release from Portsmouth came her happiness would have a material drawback in leaving Susan behind That a girl so capable of being made everything good should be left in such hands distressed her more and more Were she likely to have a home to invite her to what a blessing it would be And had it been possible for her to return Mr Crawford 's regard the probability of his being very far from objecting to such a measure would have been the greatest increase of all her own comforts She thought he was really good tempered and could fancy his entering into a plan of that sort most pleasantly {para} CHAPTER XLIV {para} Seven weeks of the two months were very nearly gone when the one letter the letter from Edmund so long expected was put into Fanny 's hands As she opened and saw its length she prepared herself for a minute detail of happiness and a profusion of love and praise towards the fortunate creature who was now mistress of his fate These were the contents {para} My Dear Fanny Excuse me that I have not written before Crawford told me that you were wishing to hear from me but I found it impossible to write from London and persuaded myself that you would understand my silence Could I have sent a few happy lines they should not have been wanting but nothing of that nature was ever in my power I am returned to Mansfield in a less assured state that when I left it My hopes are much weaker You are probably aware of this already So very fond of you as Miss Crawford is it is most natural that she should tell you enough of her own feelings to furnish a tolerable guess at mine I will not be prevented however from making my own communication Our confidences in you need not clash I ask no questions There is something soothing in the idea that we have the same friend and that whatever unhappy differences of opinion may exist between us we are united in our love of you It will be a comfort to me to tell you how things now are and what are my present plans if plans I can be said to have I have been returned since Saturday I was three weeks in London and saw her for London very often I had every attention from the Frasers that could be reasonably expected I dare say I was not reasonable in carrying with me hopes of an intercourse at all like that of Mansfield It was her manner however rather than any unfrequency of meeting Had she been different when I did see her I should have made no complaint but from the very first she was altered my first reception was so unlike what I had hoped that I had almost resolved on leaving London again directly I need not particularise You know the weak side of her character and may imagine the sentiments and expressions which were torturing me She was in high spirits and surrounded by those who were giving all the support of their own bad sense to her too lively mind I do not like Mrs Fraser She is a cold hearted vain woman who has married entirely from convenience and though evidently unhappy in her marriage places her disappointment not to faults of judgment or temper or disproportion of age but to her being after all less affluent than many of her acquaintance especially than her sister Lady Stornaway and is the determined supporter of everything mercenary and ambitious provided it be only mercenary and ambitious enough I look upon her intimacy with those two sisters as the greatest misfortune of her life and mine They have been leading her astray for years Could she be detached from them and sometimes I do not despair of it for the affection appears to me principally on their side They are very fond of her but I am sure she does not love them as she loves you When I think of her great attachment to you indeed and the whole of her judicious upright conduct as a sister she appears a very different creature capable of everything noble and I am ready to blame myself for a too harsh construction of a playful manner I cannot give her up Fanny She is the only woman in the world whom I could ever think of as a wife If I did not believe that she had some regard for me of course I should not say this but I do believe it I am convinced that she is not without a decided preference I have no jealousy of any individual It is the influence of the fashionable world altogether that I am jealous of It is the habits of wealth that I fear Her ideas are not higher than her own fortune may warrant but they are beyond what our incomes united could authorise There is comfort however even here I could better bear to lose her because not rich enough than because of my profession That would only prove her affection not equal to sacrifices which in fact I am scarcely justified in asking and if I am refused that I think will be the honest motive Her prejudices I trust are not so strong as they were You have my thoughts exactly as they arise my dear Fanny perhaps they are sometimes contradictory but it will not be a less faithful picture of my mind Having once begun it is a pleasure to me to tell you all I feel I cannot give her up Connected as we already are and I hope are to be to give up Mary Crawford would be to give up the society of some of those most dear to me to banish myself from the very houses and friends whom under any other distress I should turn to for consolation The loss of Mary I must consider as comprehending the loss of Crawford and of Fanny Were it a decided thing an actual refusal I hope I should know how to bear it and how to endeavour to weaken her hold on my heart and in the course of a few years but I am writing nonsense Were I refused I must bear it and till I am I can never cease to try for her This is the truth The only question is how What may be the likeliest means I have sometimes thought of going to London again after Easter and sometimes resolved on doing nothing till she returns to Mansfield Even now she speaks with pleasure of being in Mansfield in June but June is at a great distance and I believe I shall write to her I have nearly determined on explaining myself by letter To be at an early certainty is a material object My present state is miserably irksome Considering everything I think a letter will be decidedly the best method of explanation I shall be able to write much that I could not say and shall be giving her time for reflection before she resolves on her answer and I am less afraid of the result of reflection than of an immediate hasty impulse I think I am My greatest danger would lie in her consulting Mrs Fraser and I at a distance unable to help my own cause A letter exposes to all the evil of consultation and where the mind is anything short of perfect decision an adviser may in an unlucky moment lead it to do what it may afterwards regret I must think this matter over a little This long letter full of my own concerns alone will be enough to tire even the friendship of a Fanny The last time I saw Crawford was at Mrs Fraser 's party I am more and more satisfied with all that I see and hear of him There is not a shadow of wavering He thoroughly knows his own mind and acts up to his resolutions an inestimable quality I could not see him and my eldest sister in the same room without recollecting what you once told me and I acknowledge that they did not meet as friends There was marked coolness on her side They scarcely spoke I saw him draw back surprised and I was sorry that Mrs Rushworth should resent any former supposed slight to Miss Bertram You will wish to hear my opinion of Maria 's degree of comfort as a wife There is no appearance of unhappiness I hope they get on pretty well together I dined twice in Wimpole Street and might have been there oftener but it is mortifying to be with Rushworth as a brother Julia seems to enjoy London exceedingly I had little enjoyment there but have less here We are not a lively party You are very much wanted I miss you more than I can express My mother desires her best love and hopes to hear from you soon She talks of you almost every hour and I am sorry to find how many weeks more she is likely to be without you My father means to fetch you himself but it will not be till after Easter when he has business in town You are happy at Portsmouth I hope but this must not be a yearly visit I want you at home that I may have your opinion about Thornton Lacey I have little heart for extensive improvements till I know that it will ever have a mistress I think I shall certainly write It is quite settled that the Grants go to Bath they leave Mansfield on Monday I am glad of it I am not comfortable enough to be fit for anybody but your aunt seems to feel out of luck that such an article of Mansfield news should fall to my pen instead of hers Yours ever my dearest Fanny {para} I never will no I certainly never will wish for a letter again was Fanny 's secret declaration as she finished this What do they bring but disappointment and sorrow Not till after Easter How shall I bear it And my poor aunt talking of me every hour {para} Fanny checked the tendency of these thoughts as well as she could but she was within half a minute of starting the idea that Sir Thomas was quite unkind both to her aunt and to herself As for the main subject of the letter there was nothing in that to soothe irritation She was almost vexed into displeasure and anger against Edmund There is no good in this delay said she Why is not it settled He is blinded and nothing will open his eyes nothing can after having had truths before him so long in vain He will marry her and be poor and miserable God grant that her influence do not make him cease to be respectable She looked over the letter again So very fond of me tis nonsense all She loves nobody but herself and her brother Her friends leading her astray for years She is quite as likely to have led them astray They have all perhaps been corrupting one another but if they are so much fonder of her than she is of them she is the less likely to have been hurt except by their flattery The only woman in the world whom he could ever think of as a wife I firmly believe it It is an attachment to govern his whole life Accepted or refused his heart is wedded to her for ever The loss of Mary I must consider as comprehending the loss of Crawford and Fanny Edmund you do not know me The families would never be connected if you did not connect them Oh write write Finish it at once Let there be an end of this suspense Fix commit condemn yourself {para} Such sensations however were too near akin to resentment to be long guiding Fanny 's soliloquies She was soon more softened and sorrowful His warm regard his kind expressions his confidential treatment touched her strongly He was only too good to everybody It was a letter in short which she would not but have had for the world and which could never be valued enough This was the end of it {para} Everybody at all addicted to letter writing without having much to say which will include a large proportion of the female world at least must feel with Lady Bertram that she was out of luck in having such a capital piece of Mansfield news as the certainty of the Grants going to Bath occur at a time when she could make no advantage of it and will admit that it must have been very mortifying to her to see it fall to the share of her thankless son and treated as concisely as possible at the end of a long letter instead of having it to spread over the largest part of a page of her own For though Lady Bertram rather shone in the epistolary line having early in her marriage from the want of other employment and the circumstance of Sir Thomas 's being in Parliament got into the way of making and keeping correspondents and formed for herself a very creditable common place amplifying style so that a very little matter was enough for her she could not do entirely without any she must have something to write about even to her niece and being so soon to lose all the benefit of Dr Grant 's gouty symptoms and Mrs Grant 's morning calls it was very hard upon her to be deprived of one of the last epistolary uses she could put them to {para} There was a rich amends however preparing for her Lady Bertram 's hour of good luck came Within a few days from the receipt of Edmund 's letter Fanny had one from her aunt beginning thus {para} My Dear Fanny I take up my pen to communicate some very alarming intelligence which I make no doubt will give you much concern {para} This was a great deal better than to have to take up the pen to acquaint her with all the particulars of the Grants intended journey for the present intelligence was of a nature to promise occupation for the pen for many days to come being no less than the dangerous illness of her eldest son of which they had received notice by express a few hours before {para} Tom had gone from London with a party of young men to Newmarket where a neglected fall and a good deal of drinking had brought on a fever and when the party broke up being unable to move had been left by himself at the house of one of these young men to the comforts of sickness and solitude and the attendance only of servants Instead of being soon well enough to follow his friends as he had then hoped his disorder increased considerably and it was not long before he thought so ill of himself as to be as ready as his physician to have a letter despatched to Mansfield {para} This distressing intelligence as you may suppose observed her ladyship after giving the substance of it has agitated us exceedingly and we cannot prevent ourselves from being greatly alarmed and apprehensive for the poor invalid whose state Sir Thomas fears may be very critical and Edmund kindly proposes attending his brother immediately but I am happy to add that Sir Thomas will not leave me on this distressing occasion as it would be too trying for me We shall greatly miss Edmund in our small circle but I trust and hope he will find the poor invalid in a less alarming state than might be apprehended and that he will be able to bring him to Mansfield shortly which Sir Thomas proposes should be done and thinks best on every account and I flatter myself the poor sufferer will soon be able to bear the removal without material inconvenience or injury As I have little doubt of your feeling for us my dear Fanny under these distressing circumstances I will write again very soon {para} Fanny 's feelings on the occasion were indeed considerably more warm and genuine than her aunt 's style of writing She felt truly for them all Tom dangerously ill Edmund gone to attend him and the sadly small party remaining at Mansfield were cares to shut out every other care or almost every other She could just find selfishness enough to wonder whether Edmund had written to Miss Crawford before this summons came but no sentiment dwelt long with her that was not purely affectionate and disinterestedly anxious Her aunt did not neglect her she wrote again and again they were receiving frequent accounts from Edmund and these accounts were as regularly transmitted to Fanny in the same diffuse style and the same medley of trusts hopes and fears all following and producing each other at haphazard It was a sort of playing at being frightened The sufferings which Lady Bertram did not see had little power over her fancy and she wrote very comfortably about agitation and anxiety and poor invalids till Tom was actually conveyed to Mansfield and her own eyes had beheld his altered appearance Then a letter which she had been previously preparing for Fanny was finished in a different style in the language of real feeling and alarm then she wrote as she might have spoken He is just come my dear Fanny and is taken upstairs and I am so shocked to see him that I do not know what to do I am sure he has been very ill Poor Tom I am quite grieved for him and very much frightened and so is Sir Thomas and how glad I should be if you were here to comfort me But Sir Thomas hopes he will be better to morrow and says we must consider his journey {para} The real solicitude now awakened in the maternal bosom was not soon over Tom 's extreme impatience to be removed to Mansfield and experience those comforts of home and family which had been little thought of in uninterrupted health had probably induced his being conveyed thither too early as a return of fever came on and for a week he was in a more alarming state than ever They were all very seriously frightened Lady Bertram wrote her daily terrors to her niece who might now be said to live upon letters and pass all her time between suffering from that of to day and looking forward to to morrow 's Without any particular affection for her eldest cousin her tenderness of heart made her feel that she could not spare him and the purity of her principles added yet a keener solicitude when she considered how little useful how little self denying his life had apparently been {para} Susan was her only companion and listener on this as on more common occasions Susan was always ready to hear and to sympathise Nobody else could be interested in so remote an evil as illness in a family above an hundred miles off not even Mrs Price beyond a brief question or two if she saw her daughter with a letter in her hand and now and then the quiet observation of My poor sister Bertram must be in a great deal of trouble {para} So long divided and so differently situated the ties of blood were little more than nothing An attachment originally as tranquil as their tempers was now become a mere name Mrs Price did quite as much for Lady Bertram as Lady Bertram would have done for Mrs Price Three or four Prices might have been swept away any or all except Fanny and William and Lady Bertram would have thought little about it or perhaps might have caught from Mrs Norris 's lips the cant of its being a very happy thing and a great blessing to their poor dear sister Price to have them so well provided for {para} CHAPTER XLV {para} At about the week 's end from his return to Mansfield Tom 's immediate danger was over and he was so far pronounced safe as to make his mother perfectly easy for being now used to the sight of him in his suffering helpless state and hearing only the best and never thinking beyond what she heard with no disposition for alarm and no aptitude at a hint Lady Bertram was the happiest subject in the world for a little medical imposition The fever was subdued the fever had been his complaint of course he would soon be well again Lady Bertram could think nothing less and Fanny shared her aunt 's security till she received a few lines from Edmund written purposely to give her a clearer idea of his brother 's situation and acquaint her with the apprehensions which he and his father had imbibed from the physician with respect to some strong hectic symptoms which seemed to seize the frame on the departure of the fever They judged it best that Lady Bertram should not be harassed by alarms which it was to be hoped would prove unfounded but there was no reason why Fanny should not know the truth They were apprehensive for his lungs {para} A very few lines from Edmund shewed her the patient and the sickroom in a juster and stronger light than all Lady Bertram 's sheets of paper could do There was hardly any one in the house who might not have described from personal observation better than herself not one who was not more useful at times to her son She could do nothing but glide in quietly and look at him but when able to talk or be talked to or read to Edmund was the companion he preferred His aunt worried him by her cares and Sir Thomas knew not how to bring down his conversation or his voice to the level of irritation and feebleness Edmund was all in all Fanny would certainly believe him so at least and must find that her estimation of him was higher than ever when he appeared as the attendant supporter cheerer of a suffering brother There was not only the debility of recent illness to assist there was also as she now learnt nerves much affected spirits much depressed to calm and raise and her own imagination added that there must be a mind to be properly guided {para} The family were not consumptive and she was more inclined to hope than fear for her cousin except when she thought of Miss Crawford but Miss Crawford gave her the idea of being the child of good luck and to her selfishness and vanity it would be good luck to have Edmund the only son {para} Even in the sick chamber the fortunate Mary was not forgotten Edmund 's letter had this postscript On the subject of my last I had actually begun a letter when called away by Tom 's illness but I have now changed my mind and fear to trust the influence of friends When Tom is better I shall go {para} Such was the state of Mansfield and so it continued with scarcely any change till Easter A line occasionally added by Edmund to his mother 's letter was enough for Fanny 's information Tom 's amendment was alarmingly slow {para} Easter came particularly late this year as Fanny had most sorrowfully considered on first learning that she had no chance of leaving Portsmouth till after it It came and she had yet heard nothing of her return nothing even of the going to London which was to precede her return Her aunt often expressed a wish for her but there was no notice no message from the uncle on whom all depended She supposed he could not yet leave his son but it was a cruel a terrible delay to her The end of April was coming on it would soon be almost three months instead of two that she had been absent from them all and that her days had been passing in a state of penance which she loved them too well to hope they would thoroughly understand and who could yet say when there might be leisure to think of or fetch her {para} Her eagerness her impatience her longings to be with them were such as to bring a line or two of Cowper 's Tirocinium for ever before her With what intense desire she wants her home was continually on her tongue as the truest description of a yearning which she could not suppose any schoolboy 's bosom to feel more keenly {para} When she had been coming to Portsmouth she had loved to call it her home had been fond of saying that she was going home the word had been very dear to her and so it still was but it must be applied to Mansfield That was now the home Portsmouth was Portsmouth Mansfield was home They had been long so arranged in the indulgence of her secret meditations and nothing was more consolatory to her than to find her aunt using the same language I cannot but say I much regret your being from home at this distressing time so very trying to my spirits I trust and hope and sincerely wish you may never be absent from home so long again were most delightful sentences to her Still however it was her private regale Delicacy to her parents made her careful not to betray such a preference of her uncle 's house It was always When I go back into Northamptonshire or when I return to Mansfield I shall do so and so For a great while it was so but at last the longing grew stronger it overthrew caution and she found herself talking of what she should do when she went home before she was aware She reproached herself coloured and looked fearfully towards her father and mother She need not have been uneasy There was no sign of displeasure or even of hearing her They were perfectly free from any jealousy of Mansfield She was as welcome to wish herself there as to be there {para} It was sad to Fanny to lose all the pleasures of spring She had not known before what pleasures she had to lose in passing March and April in a town She had not known before how much the beginnings and progress of vegetation had delighted her What animation both of body and mind she had derived from watching the advance of that season which cannot in spite of its capriciousness be unlovely and seeing its increasing beauties from the earliest flowers in the warmest divisions of her aunt 's garden to the opening of leaves of her uncle 's plantations and the glory of his woods To be losing such pleasures was no trifle to be losing them because she was in the midst of closeness and noise to have confinement bad air bad smells substituted for liberty freshness fragrance and verdure was infinitely worse but even these incitements to regret were feeble compared with what arose from the conviction of being missed by her best friends and the longing to be useful to those who were wanting her {para} Could she have been at home she might have been of service to every creature in the house She felt that she must have been of use to all To all she must have saved some trouble of head or hand and were it only in supporting the spirits of her aunt Bertram keeping her from the evil of solitude or the still greater evil of a restless officious companion too apt to be heightening danger in order to enhance her own importance her being there would have been a general good She loved to fancy how she could have read to her aunt how she could have talked to her and tried at once to make her feel the blessing of what was and prepare her mind for what might be and how many walks up and down stairs she might have saved her and how many messages she might have carried {para} It astonished her that Tom 's sisters could be satisfied with remaining in London at such a time through an illness which had now under different degrees of danger lasted several weeks They might return to Mansfield when they chose travelling could be no difficulty to them and she could not comprehend how both could still keep away If Mrs Rushworth could imagine any interfering obligations Julia was certainly able to quit London whenever she chose It appeared from one of her aunt 's letters that Julia had offered to return if wanted but this was all It was evident that she would rather remain where she was {para} Fanny was disposed to think the influence of London very much at war with all respectable attachments She saw the proof of it in Miss Crawford as well as in her cousins her attachment to Edmund had been respectable the most respectable part of her character her friendship for herself had at least been blameless Where was either sentiment now It was so long since Fanny had had any letter from her that she had some reason to think lightly of the friendship which had been so dwelt on It was weeks since she had heard anything of Miss Crawford or of her other connexions in town except through Mansfield and she was beginning to suppose that she might never know whether Mr Crawford had gone into Norfolk again or not till they met and might never hear from his sister any more this spring when the following letter was received to revive old and create some new sensations {para} Forgive me my dear Fanny as soon as you can for my long silence and behave as if you could forgive me directly This is my modest request and expectation for you are so good that I depend upon being treated better than I deserve and I write now to beg an immediate answer I want to know the state of things at Mansfield Park and you no doubt are perfectly able to give it One should be a brute not to feel for the distress they are in and from what I hear poor Mr Bertram has a bad chance of ultimate recovery I thought little of his illness at first I looked upon him as the sort of person to be made a fuss with and to make a fuss himself in any trifling disorder and was chiefly concerned for those who had to nurse him but now it is confidently asserted that he is really in a decline that the symptoms are most alarming and that part of the family at least are aware of it If it be so I am sure you must be included in that part that discerning part and therefore entreat you to let me know how far I have been rightly informed I need not say how rejoiced I shall be to hear there has been any mistake but the report is so prevalent that I confess I cannot help trembling To have such a fine young man cut off in the flower of his days is most melancholy Poor Sir Thomas will feel it dreadfully I really am quite agitated on the subject Fanny Fanny I see you smile and look cunning but upon my honour I never bribed a physician in my life Poor young man If he is to die there will be two poor young men less in the world and with a fearless face and bold voice would I say to any one that wealth and consequence could fall into no hands more deserving of them It was a foolish precipitation last Christmas but the evil of a few days may be blotted out in part Varnish and gilding hide many stains It will be but the loss of the Esquire after his name With real affection Fanny like mine more might be overlooked Write to me by return of post judge of my anxiety and do not trifle with it Tell me the real truth as you have it from the fountainhead And now do not trouble yourself to be ashamed of either my feelings or your own Believe me they are not only natural they are philanthropic and virtuous I put it to your conscience whether Sir Edmund would not do more good with all the Bertram property than any other possible Sir Had the Grants been at home I would not have troubled you but you are now the only one I can apply to for the truth his sisters not being within my reach Mrs R has been spending the Easter with the Aylmers at Twickenham as to be sure you know and is not yet returned and Julia is with the cousins who live near Bedford Square but I forget their name and street Could I immediately apply to either however I should still prefer you because it strikes me that they have all along been so unwilling to have their own amusements cut up as to shut their eyes to the truth I suppose Mrs R 's Easter holidays will not last much longer no doubt they are thorough holidays to her The Aylmers are pleasant people and her husband away she can have nothing but enjoyment I give her credit for promoting his going dutifully down to Bath to fetch his mother but how will she and the dowager agree in one house Henry is not at hand so I have nothing to say from him Do not you think Edmund would have been in town again long ago but for this illness Yours ever Mary {para} I had actually begun folding my letter when Henry walked in but he brings no intelligence to prevent my sending it Mrs R knows a decline is apprehended he saw her this morning she returns to Wimpole Street to day the old lady is come Now do not make yourself uneasy with any queer fancies because he has been spending a few days at Richmond He does it every spring Be assured he cares for nobody but you At this very moment he is wild to see you and occupied only in contriving the means for doing so and for making his pleasure conduce to yours In proof he repeats and more eagerly what he said at Portsmouth about our conveying you home and I join him in it with all my soul Dear Fanny write directly and tell us to come It will do us all good He and I can go to the Parsonage you know and be no trouble to our friends at Mansfield Park It would really be gratifying to see them all again and a little addition of society might be of infinite use to them and as to yourself you must feel yourself to be so wanted there that you cannot in conscience conscientious as you are keep away when you have the means of returning I have not time or patience to give half Henry 's messages be satisfied that the spirit of each and every one is unalterable affection {para} Fanny 's disgust at the greater part of this letter with her extreme reluctance to bring the writer of it and her cousin Edmund together would have made her as she felt incapable of judging impartially whether the concluding offer might be accepted or not To herself individually it was most tempting To be finding herself perhaps within three days transported to Mansfield was an image of the greatest felicity but it would have been a material drawback to be owing such felicity to persons in whose feelings and conduct at the present moment she saw so much to condemn the sister 's feelings the brother 's conduct her cold hearted ambition his thoughtless vanity To have him still the acquaintance the flirt perhaps of Mrs Rushworth She was mortified She had thought better of him Happily however she was not left to weigh and decide between opposite inclinations and doubtful notions of right there was no occasion to determine whether she ought to keep Edmund and Mary asunder or not She had a rule to apply to which settled everything Her awe of her uncle and her dread of taking a liberty with him made it instantly plain to her what she had to do She must absolutely decline the proposal If he wanted he would send for her and even to offer an early return was a presumption which hardly anything would have seemed to justify She thanked Miss Crawford but gave a decided negative Her uncle she understood meant to fetch her and as her cousin 's illness had continued so many weeks without her being thought at all necessary she must suppose her return would be unwelcome at present and that she should be felt an encumbrance {para} Her representation of her cousin 's state at this time was exactly according to her own belief of it and such as she supposed would convey to the sanguine mind of her correspondent the hope of everything she was wishing for Edmund would be forgiven for being a clergyman it seemed under certain conditions of wealth and this she suspected was all the conquest of prejudice which he was so ready to congratulate himself upon She had only learnt to think nothing of consequence but money {para} CHAPTER XLVI {para} As Fanny could not doubt that her answer was conveying a real disappointment she was rather in expectation from her knowledge of Miss Crawford 's temper of being urged again and though no second letter arrived for the space of a week she had still the same feeling when it did come {para} On receiving it she could instantly decide on its containing little writing and was persuaded of its having the air of a letter of haste and business Its object was unquestionable and two moments were enough to start the probability of its being merely to give her notice that they should be in Portsmouth that very day and to throw her into all the agitation of doubting what she ought to do in such a case If two moments however can surround with difficulties a third can disperse them and before she had opened the letter the possibility of Mr and Miss Crawford 's having applied to her uncle and obtained his permission was giving her ease This was the letter {para} A most scandalous ill natured rumour has just reached me and I write dear Fanny to warn you against giving the least credit to it should it spread into the country Depend upon it there is some mistake and that a day or two will clear it up at any rate that Henry is blameless and in spite of a moment 's etourderie thinks of nobody but you Say not a word of it hear nothing surmise nothing whisper nothing till I write again I am sure it will be all hushed up and nothing proved but Rushworth 's folly If they are gone I would lay my life they are only gone to Mansfield Park and Julia with them But why would not you let us come for you I wish you may not repent it Yours etc {para} Fanny stood aghast As no scandalous ill natured rumour had reached her it was impossible for her to understand much of this strange letter She could only perceive that it must relate to Wimpole Street and Mr Crawford and only conjecture that something very imprudent had just occurred in that quarter to draw the notice of the world and to excite her jealousy in Miss Crawford 's apprehension if she heard it Miss Crawford need not be alarmed for her She was only sorry for the parties concerned and for Mansfield if the report should spread so far but she hoped it might not If the Rushworths were gone themselves to Mansfield as was to be inferred from what Miss Crawford said it was not likely that anything unpleasant should have preceded them or at least should make any impression {para} As to Mr Crawford she hoped it might give him a knowledge of his own disposition convince him that he was not capable of being steadily attached to any one woman in the world and shame him from persisting any longer in addressing herself {para} It was very strange She had begun to think he really loved her and to fancy his affection for her something more than common and his sister still said that he cared for nobody else Yet there must have been some marked display of attentions to her cousin there must have been some strong indiscretion since her correspondent was not of a sort to regard a slight one {para} Very uncomfortable she was and must continue till she heard from Miss Crawford again It was impossible to banish the letter from her thoughts and she could not relieve herself by speaking of it to any human being Miss Crawford need not have urged secrecy with so much warmth she might have trusted to her sense of what was due to her cousin {para} The next day came and brought no second letter Fanny was disappointed She could still think of little else all the morning but when her father came back in the afternoon with the daily newspaper as usual she was so far from expecting any elucidation through such a channel that the subject was for a moment out of her head {para} She was deep in other musing The remembrance of her first evening in that room of her father and his newspaper came across her No candle was now wanted The sun was yet an hour and half above the horizon She felt that she had indeed been three months there and the sun 's rays falling strongly into the parlour instead of cheering made her still more melancholy for sunshine appeared to her a totally different thing in a town and in the country Here its power was only a glare a stifling sickly glare serving but to bring forward stains and dirt that might otherwise have slept There was neither health nor gaiety in sunshine in a town She sat in a blaze of oppressive heat in a cloud of moving dust and her eyes could only wander from the walls marked by her father 's head to the table cut and notched by her brothers where stood the tea board never thoroughly cleaned the cups and saucers wiped in streaks the milk a mixture of motes floating in thin blue and the bread and butter growing every minute more greasy than even Rebecca 's hands had first produced it Her father read his newspaper and her mother lamented over the ragged carpet as usual while the tea was in preparation and wished Rebecca would mend it and Fanny was first roused by his calling out to her after humphing and considering over a particular paragraph What 's the name of your great cousins in town Fan {para} A moment 's recollection enabled her to say Rushworth sir {para} And don't they live in Wimpole Street {para} Yes sir {para} Then there 's the devil to pay among them that 's all There holding out the paper to her much good may such fine relations do you I don't know what Sir Thomas may think of such matters he may be too much of the courtier and fine gentleman to like his daughter the less But by G if she belonged to me I 'd give her the rope 's end as long as I could stand over her A little flogging for man and woman too would be the best way of preventing such things {para} Fanny read to herself that it was with infinite concern the newspaper had to announce to the world a matrimonial fracas in the family of Mr R of Wimpole Street the beautiful Mrs R whose name had not long been enrolled in the lists of Hymen and who had promised to become so brilliant a leader in the fashionable world having quitted her husband 's roof in company with the well known and captivating Mr C the intimate friend and associate of Mr R and it was not known even to the editor of the newspaper whither they were gone {para} It is a mistake sir said Fanny instantly it must be a mistake it cannot be true it must mean some other people {para} She spoke from the instinctive wish of delaying shame she spoke with a resolution which sprung from despair for she spoke what she did not could not believe herself It had been the shock of conviction as she read The truth rushed on her and how she could have spoken at all how she could even have breathed was afterwards matter of wonder to herself {para} Mr Price cared too little about the report to make her much answer It might be all a lie he acknowledged but so many fine ladies were going to the devil nowadays that way that there was no answering for anybody {para} Indeed I hope it is not true said Mrs Price plaintively it would be so very shocking If I have spoken once to Rebecca about that carpet I am sure I have spoke at least a dozen times have not I Betsey And it would not be ten minutes work {para} The horror of a mind like Fanny 's as it received the conviction of such guilt and began to take in some part of the misery that must ensue can hardly be described At first it was a sort of stupefaction but every moment was quickening her perception of the horrible evil She could not doubt she dared not indulge a hope of the paragraph being false Miss Crawford 's letter which she had read so often as to make every line her own was in frightful conformity with it Her eager defence of her brother her hope of its being hushed up her evident agitation were all of a piece with something very bad and if there was a woman of character in existence who could treat as a trifle this sin of the first magnitude who would try to gloss it over and desire to have it unpunished she could believe Miss Crawford to be the woman Now she could see her own mistake as to who were gone or said to be gone It was not Mr and Mrs Rushworth it was Mrs Rushworth and Mr Crawford {para} Fanny seemed to herself never to have been shocked before There was no possibility of rest The evening passed without a pause of misery the night was totally sleepless She passed only from feelings of sickness to shudderings of horror and from hot fits of fever to cold The event was so shocking that there were moments even when her heart revolted from it as impossible when she thought it could not be A woman married only six months ago a man professing himself devoted even engaged to another that other her near relation the whole family both families connected as they were by tie upon tie all friends all intimate together It was too horrible a confusion of guilt too gross a complication of evil for human nature not in a state of utter barbarism to be capable of yet her judgment told her it was so His unsettled affections wavering with his vanity Maria 's decided attachment and no sufficient principle on either side gave it possibility Miss Crawford 's letter stampt it a fact {para} What would be the consequence Whom would it not injure Whose views might it not affect Whose peace would it not cut up for ever Miss Crawford herself Edmund but it was dangerous perhaps to tread such ground She confined herself or tried to confine herself to the simple indubitable family misery which must envelop all if it were indeed a matter of certified guilt and public exposure The mother 's sufferings the father 's there she paused Julia 's Tom 's Edmund 's there a yet longer pause They were the two on whom it would fall most horribly Sir Thomas 's parental solicitude and high sense of honour and decorum Edmund 's upright principles unsuspicious temper and genuine strength of feeling made her think it scarcely possible for them to support life and reason under such disgrace and it appeared to her that as far as this world alone was concerned the greatest blessing to every one of kindred with Mrs Rushworth would be instant annihilation {para} Nothing happened the next day or the next to weaken her terrors Two posts came in and brought no refutation public or private There was no second letter to explain away the first from Miss Crawford there was no intelligence from Mansfield though it was now full time for her to hear again from her aunt This was an evil omen She had indeed scarcely the shadow of a hope to soothe her mind and was reduced to so low and wan and trembling a condition as no mother not unkind except Mrs Price could have overlooked when the third day did bring the sickening knock and a letter was again put into her hands It bore the London postmark and came from Edmund {para} Dear Fanny You know our present wretchedness May God support you under your share We have been here two days but there is nothing to be done They cannot be traced You may not have heard of the last blow Julia 's elopement she is gone to Scotland with Yates She left London a few hours before we entered it At any other time this would have been felt dreadfully Now it seems nothing yet it is an heavy aggravation My father is not overpowered More cannot be hoped He is still able to think and act and I write by his desire to propose your returning home He is anxious to get you there for my mother 's sake I shall be at Portsmouth the morning after you receive this and hope to find you ready to set off for Mansfield My father wishes you to invite Susan to go with you for a few months Settle it as you like say what is proper I am sure you will feel such an instance of his kindness at such a moment Do justice to his meaning however I may confuse it You may imagine something of my present state There is no end of the evil let loose upon us You will see me early by the mail Yours etc {para} Never had Fanny more wanted a cordial Never had she felt such a one as this letter contained To morrow to leave Portsmouth to morrow She was she felt she was in the greatest danger of being exquisitely happy while so many were miserable The evil which brought such good to her She dreaded lest she should learn to be insensible of it To be going so soon sent for so kindly sent for as a comfort and with leave to take Susan was altogether such a combination of blessings as set her heart in a glow and for a time seemed to distance every pain and make her incapable of suitably sharing the distress even of those whose distress she thought of most Julia 's elopement could affect her comparatively but little she was amazed and shocked but it could not occupy her could not dwell on her mind She was obliged to call herself to think of it and acknowledge it to be terrible and grievous or it was escaping her in the midst of all the agitating pressing joyful cares attending this summons to herself {para} There is nothing like employment active indispensable employment for relieving sorrow Employment even melancholy may dispel melancholy and her occupations were hopeful She had so much to do that not even the horrible story of Mrs Rushworth now fixed to the last point of certainty could affect her as it had done before She had not time to be miserable Within twenty four hours she was hoping to be gone her father and mother must be spoken to Susan prepared everything got ready Business followed business the day was hardly long enough The happiness she was imparting too happiness very little alloyed by the black communication which must briefly precede it the joyful consent of her father and mother to Susan 's going with her the general satisfaction with which the going of both seemed regarded and the ecstasy of Susan herself was all serving to support her spirits {para} The affliction of the Bertrams was little felt in the family Mrs Price talked of her poor sister for a few minutes but how to find anything to hold Susan 's clothes because Rebecca took away all the boxes and spoilt them was much more in her thoughts and as for Susan now unexpectedly gratified in the first wish of her heart and knowing nothing personally of those who had sinned or of those who were sorrowing if she could help rejoicing from beginning to end it was as much as ought to be expected from human virtue at fourteen {para} As nothing was really left for the decision of Mrs Price or the good offices of Rebecca everything was rationally and duly accomplished and the girls were ready for the morrow The advantage of much sleep to prepare them for their journey was impossible The cousin who was travelling towards them could hardly have less than visited their agitated spirits one all happiness the other all varying and indescribable perturbation {para} By eight in the morning Edmund was in the house The girls heard his entrance from above and Fanny went down The idea of immediately seeing him with the knowledge of what he must be suffering brought back all her own first feelings He so near her and in misery She was ready to sink as she entered the parlour He was alone and met her instantly and she found herself pressed to his heart with only these words just articulate My Fanny my only sister my only comfort now She could say nothing nor for some minutes could he say more {para} He turned away to recover himself and when he spoke again though his voice still faltered his manner shewed the wish of self command and the resolution of avoiding any farther allusion Have you breakfasted When shall you be ready Does Susan go were questions following each other rapidly His great object was to be off as soon as possible When Mansfield was considered time was precious and the state of his own mind made him find relief only in motion It was settled that he should order the carriage to the door in half an hour Fanny answered for their having breakfasted and being quite ready in half an hour He had already ate and declined staying for their meal He would walk round the ramparts and join them with the carriage He was gone again glad to get away even from Fanny {para} He looked very ill evidently suffering under violent emotions which he was determined to suppress She knew it must be so but it was terrible to her {para} The carriage came and he entered the house again at the same moment just in time to spend a few minutes with the family and be a witness but that he saw nothing of the tranquil manner in which the daughters were parted with and just in time to prevent their sitting down to the breakfast table which by dint of much unusual activity was quite and completely ready as the carriage drove from the door Fanny 's last meal in her father 's house was in character with her first she was dismissed from it as hospitably as she had been welcomed {para} How her heart swelled with joy and gratitude as she passed the barriers of Portsmouth and how Susan 's face wore its broadest smiles may be easily conceived Sitting forwards however and screened by her bonnet those smiles were unseen {para} The journey was likely to be a silent one Edmund 's deep sighs often reached Fanny Had he been alone with her his heart must have opened in spite of every resolution but Susan 's presence drove him quite into himself and his attempts to talk on indifferent subjects could never be long supported {para} Fanny watched him with never failing solicitude and sometimes catching his eye revived an affectionate smile which comforted her but the first day 's journey passed without her hearing a word from him on the subjects that were weighing him down The next morning produced a little more Just before their setting out from Oxford while Susan was stationed at a window in eager observation of the departure of a large family from the inn the other two were standing by the fire and Edmund particularly struck by the alteration in Fanny 's looks and from his ignorance of the daily evils of her father 's house attributing an undue share of the change attributing all to the recent event took her hand and said in a low but very expressive tone No wonder you must feel it you must suffer How a man who had once loved could desert you But yours your regard was new compared with Fanny think of me {para} The first division of their journey occupied a long day and brought them almost knocked up to Oxford but the second was over at a much earlier hour They were in the environs of Mansfield long before the usual dinner time and as they approached the beloved place the hearts of both sisters sank a little Fanny began to dread the meeting with her aunts and Tom under so dreadful a humiliation and Susan to feel with some anxiety that all her best manners all her lately acquired knowledge of what was practised here was on the point of being called into action Visions of good and ill breeding of old vulgarisms and new gentilities were before her and she was meditating much upon silver forks napkins and finger glasses Fanny had been everywhere awake to the difference of the country since February but when they entered the Park her perceptions and her pleasures were of the keenest sort It was three months full three months since her quitting it and the change was from winter to summer Her eye fell everywhere on lawns and plantations of the freshest green and the trees though not fully clothed were in that delightful state when farther beauty is known to be at hand and when while much is actually given to the sight more yet remains for the imagination Her enjoyment however was for herself alone Edmund could not share it She looked at him but he was leaning back sunk in a deeper gloom than ever and with eyes closed as if the view of cheerfulness oppressed him and the lovely scenes of home must be shut out {para} It made her melancholy again and the knowledge of what must be enduring there invested even the house modern airy and well situated as it was with a melancholy aspect {para} By one of the suffering party within they were expected with such impatience as she had never known before Fanny had scarcely passed the solemn looking servants when Lady Bertram came from the drawing room to meet her came with no indolent step and falling on her neck said Dear Fanny now I shall be comfortable {para} CHAPTER XLVII {para} It had been a miserable party each of the three believing themselves most miserable Mrs Norris however as most attached to Maria was really the greatest sufferer Maria was her first favourite the dearest of all the match had been her own contriving as she had been wont with such pride of heart to feel and say and this conclusion of it almost overpowered her {para} She was an altered creature quieted stupefied indifferent to everything that passed The being left with her sister and nephew and all the house under her care had been an advantage entirely thrown away she had been unable to direct or dictate or even fancy herself useful When really touched by affliction her active powers had been all benumbed and neither Lady Bertram nor Tom had received from her the smallest support or attempt at support She had done no more for them than they had done for each other They had been all solitary helpless and forlorn alike and now the arrival of the others only established her superiority in wretchedness Her companions were relieved but there was no good for her Edmund was almost as welcome to his brother as Fanny to her aunt but Mrs Norris instead of having comfort from either was but the more irritated by the sight of the person whom in the blindness of her anger she could have charged as the daemon of the piece Had Fanny accepted Mr Crawford this could not have happened {para} Susan too was a grievance She had not spirits to notice her in more than a few repulsive looks but she felt her as a spy and an intruder and an indigent niece and everything most odious By her other aunt Susan was received with quiet kindness Lady Bertram could not give her much time or many words but she felt her as Fanny 's sister to have a claim at Mansfield and was ready to kiss and like her and Susan was more than satisfied for she came perfectly aware that nothing but ill humour was to be expected from aunt Norris and was so provided with happiness so strong in that best of blessings an escape from many certain evils that she could have stood against a great deal more indifference than she met with from the others {para} She was now left a good deal to herself to get acquainted with the house and grounds as she could and spent her days very happily in so doing while those who might otherwise have attended to her were shut up or wholly occupied each with the person quite dependent on them at this time for everything like comfort Edmund trying to bury his own feelings in exertions for the relief of his brother 's and Fanny devoted to her aunt Bertram returning to every former office with more than former zeal and thinking she could never do enough for one who seemed so much to want her {para} To talk over the dreadful business with Fanny talk and lament was all Lady Bertram 's consolation To be listened to and borne with and hear the voice of kindness and sympathy in return was everything that could be done for her To be otherwise comforted was out of the question The case admitted of no comfort Lady Bertram did not think deeply but guided by Sir Thomas she thought justly on all important points and she saw therefore in all its enormity what had happened and neither endeavoured herself nor required Fanny to advise her to think little of guilt and infamy {para} Her affections were not acute nor was her mind tenacious After a time Fanny found it not impossible to direct her thoughts to other subjects and revive some interest in the usual occupations but whenever Lady Bertram was fixed on the event she could see it only in one light as comprehending the loss of a daughter and a disgrace never to be wiped off {para} Fanny learnt from her all the particulars which had yet transpired Her aunt was no very methodical narrator but with the help of some letters to and from Sir Thomas and what she already knew herself and could reasonably combine she was soon able to understand quite as much as she wished of the circumstances attending the story {para} Mrs Rushworth had gone for the Easter holidays to Twickenham with a family whom she had just grown intimate with a family of lively agreeable manners and probably of morals and discretion to suit for to their house Mr Crawford had constant access at all times His having been in the same neighbourhood Fanny already knew Mr Rushworth had been gone at this time to Bath to pass a few days with his mother and bring her back to town and Maria was with these friends without any restraint without even Julia for Julia had removed from Wimpole Street two or three weeks before on a visit to some relations of Sir Thomas a removal which her father and mother were now disposed to attribute to some view of convenience on Mr Yates 's account Very soon after the Rushworths return to Wimpole Street Sir Thomas had received a letter from an old and most particular friend in London who hearing and witnessing a good deal to alarm him in that quarter wrote to recommend Sir Thomas 's coming to London himself and using his influence with his daughter to put an end to the intimacy which was already exposing her to unpleasant remarks and evidently making Mr Rushworth uneasy {para} Sir Thomas was preparing to act upon this letter without communicating its contents to any creature at Mansfield when it was followed by another sent express from the same friend to break to him the almost desperate situation in which affairs then stood with the young people Mrs Rushworth had left her husband 's house Mr Rushworth had been in great anger and distress to him Mr Harding for his advice Mr Harding feared there had been at least very flagrant indiscretion The maidservant of Mrs Rushworth senior threatened alarmingly He was doing all in his power to quiet everything with the hope of Mrs Rushworth 's return but was so much counteracted in Wimpole Street by the influence of Mr Rushworth 's mother that the worst consequences might be apprehended {para} This dreadful communication could not be kept from the rest of the family Sir Thomas set off Edmund would go with him and the others had been left in a state of wretchedness inferior only to what followed the receipt of the next letters from London Everything was by that time public beyond a hope The servant of Mrs Rushworth the mother had exposure in her power and supported by her mistress was not to be silenced The two ladies even in the short time they had been together had disagreed and the bitterness of the elder against her daughter in law might perhaps arise almost as much from the personal disrespect with which she had herself been treated as from sensibility for her son {para} However that might be she was unmanageable But had she been less obstinate or of less weight with her son who was always guided by the last speaker by the person who could get hold of and shut him up the case would still have been hopeless for Mrs Rushworth did not appear again and there was every reason to conclude her to be concealed somewhere with Mr Crawford who had quitted his uncle 's house as for a journey on the very day of her absenting herself {para} Sir Thomas however remained yet a little longer in town in the hope of discovering and snatching her from farther vice though all was lost on the side of character {para} His present state Fanny could hardly bear to think of There was but one of his children who was not at this time a source of misery to him Tom 's complaints had been greatly heightened by the shock of his sister 's conduct and his recovery so much thrown back by it that even Lady Bertram had been struck by the difference and all her alarms were regularly sent off to her husband and Julia 's elopement the additional blow which had met him on his arrival in London though its force had been deadened at the moment must she knew be sorely felt She saw that it was His letters expressed how much he deplored it Under any circumstances it would have been an unwelcome alliance but to have it so clandestinely formed and such a period chosen for its completion placed Julia 's feelings in a most unfavourable light and severely aggravated the folly of her choice He called it a bad thing done in the worst manner and at the worst time and though Julia was yet as more pardonable than Maria as folly than vice he could not but regard the step she had taken as opening the worst probabilities of a conclusion hereafter like her sister 's Such was his opinion of the set into which she had thrown herself {para} Fanny felt for him most acutely He could have no comfort but in Edmund Every other child must be racking his heart His displeasure against herself she trusted reasoning differently from Mrs Norris would now be done away She should be justified Mr Crawford would have fully acquitted her conduct in refusing him but this though most material to herself would be poor consolation to Sir Thomas Her uncle 's displeasure was terrible to her but what could her justification or her gratitude and attachment do for him His stay must be on Edmund alone {para} She was mistaken however in supposing that Edmund gave his father no present pain It was of a much less poignant nature than what the others excited but Sir Thomas was considering his happiness as very deeply involved in the offence of his sister and friend cut off by it as he must be from the woman whom he had been pursuing with undoubted attachment and strong probability of success and who in everything but this despicable brother would have been so eligible a connexion He was aware of what Edmund must be suffering on his own behalf in addition to all the rest when they were in town he had seen or conjectured his feelings and having reason to think that one interview with Miss Crawford had taken place from which Edmund derived only increased distress had been as anxious on that account as on others to get him out of town and had engaged him in taking Fanny home to her aunt with a view to his relief and benefit no less than theirs Fanny was not in the secret of her uncle 's feelings Sir Thomas not in the secret of Miss Crawford 's character Had he been privy to her conversation with his son he would not have wished her to belong to him though her twenty thousand pounds had been forty {para} That Edmund must be for ever divided from Miss Crawford did not admit of a doubt with Fanny and yet till she knew that he felt the same her own conviction was insufficient She thought he did but she wanted to be assured of it If he would now speak to her with the unreserve which had sometimes been too much for her before it would be most consoling but that she found was not to be She seldom saw him never alone He probably avoided being alone with her What was to be inferred That his judgment submitted to all his own peculiar and bitter share of this family affliction but that it was too keenly felt to be a subject of the slightest communication This must be his state He yielded but it was with agonies which did not admit of speech Long long would it be ere Miss Crawford 's name passed his lips again or she could hope for a renewal of such confidential intercourse as had been {para} It was long They reached Mansfield on Thursday and it was not till Sunday evening that Edmund began to talk to her on the subject Sitting with her on Sunday evening a wet Sunday evening the very time of all others when if a friend is at hand the heart must be opened and everything told no one else in the room except his mother who after hearing an affecting sermon had cried herself to sleep it was impossible not to speak and so with the usual beginnings hardly to be traced as to what came first and the usual declaration that if she would listen to him for a few minutes he should be very brief and certainly never tax her kindness in the same way again she need not fear a repetition it would be a subject prohibited entirely he entered upon the luxury of relating circumstances and sensations of the first interest to himself to one of whose affectionate sympathy he was quite convinced {para} How Fanny listened with what curiosity and concern what pain and what delight how the agitation of his voice was watched and how carefully her own eyes were fixed on any object but himself may be imagined The opening was alarming He had seen Miss Crawford He had been invited to see her He had received a note from Lady Stornaway to beg him to call and regarding it as what was meant to be the last last interview of friendship and investing her with all the feelings of shame and wretchedness which Crawford 's sister ought to have known he had gone to her in such a state of mind so softened so devoted as made it for a few moments impossible to Fanny 's fears that it should be the last But as he proceeded in his story these fears were over She had met him he said with a serious certainly a serious even an agitated air but before he had been able to speak one intelligible sentence she had introduced the subject in a manner which he owned had shocked him I heard you were in town said she I wanted to see you Let us talk over this sad business What can equal the folly of our two relations I could not answer but I believe my looks spoke She felt reproved Sometimes how quick to feel With a graver look and voice she then added I do not mean to defend Henry at your sister 's expense So she began but how she went on Fanny is not fit is hardly fit to be repeated to you I cannot recall all her words I would not dwell upon them if I could Their substance was great anger at the folly of each She reprobated her brother 's folly in being drawn on by a woman whom he had never cared for to do what must lose him the woman he adored but still more the folly of poor Maria in sacrificing such a situation plunging into such difficulties under the idea of being really loved by a man who had long ago made his indifference clear Guess what I must have felt To hear the woman whom no harsher name than folly given So voluntarily so freely so coolly to canvass it No reluctance no horror no feminine shall I say no modest loathings This is what the world does For where Fanny shall we find a woman whom nature had so richly endowed Spoilt spoilt {para} After a little reflection he went on with a sort of desperate calmness I will tell you everything and then have done for ever She saw it only as folly and that folly stamped only by exposure The want of common discretion of caution his going down to Richmond for the whole time of her being at Twickenham her putting herself in the power of a servant it was the detection in short oh Fanny it was the detection not the offence which she reprobated It was the imprudence which had brought things to extremity and obliged her brother to give up every dearer plan in order to fly with her {para} He stopt And what said Fanny believing herself required to speak what could you say {para} Nothing nothing to be understood I was like a man stunned She went on began to talk of you yes then she began to talk of you regretting as well she might the loss of such a There she spoke very rationally But she has always done justice to you He has thrown away said she such a woman as he will never see again She would have fixed him she would have made him happy for ever My dearest Fanny I am giving you I hope more pleasure than pain by this retrospect of what might have been but what never can be now You do not wish me to be silent If you do give me but a look a word and I have done {para} No look or word was given {para} Thank God said he We were all disposed to wonder but it seems to have been the merciful appointment of Providence that the heart which knew no guile should not suffer She spoke of you with high praise and warm affection yet even here there was alloy a dash of evil for in the midst of it she could exclaim Why would not she have him It is all her fault Simple girl I shall never forgive her Had she accepted him as she ought they might now have been on the point of marriage and Henry would have been too happy and too busy to want any other object He would have taken no pains to be on terms with Mrs Rushworth again It would have all ended in a regular standing flirtation in yearly meetings at Sotherton and Everingham Could you have believed it possible But the charm is broken My eyes are opened {para} Cruel said Fanny quite cruel At such a moment to give way to gaiety to speak with lightness and to you Absolute cruelty {para} Cruelty do you call it We differ there No hers is not a cruel nature I do not consider her as meaning to wound my feelings The evil lies yet deeper in her total ignorance unsuspiciousness of there being such feelings in a perversion of mind which made it natural to her to treat the subject as she did She was speaking only as she had been used to hear others speak as she imagined everybody else would speak Hers are not faults of temper She would not voluntarily give unnecessary pain to any one and though I may deceive myself I cannot but think that for me for my feelings she would Hers are faults of principle Fanny of blunted delicacy and a corrupted vitiated mind Perhaps it is best for me since it leaves me so little to regret Not so however Gladly would I submit to all the increased pain of losing her rather than have to think of her as I do I told her so {para} Did you {para} Yes when I left her I told her so {para} How long were you together {para} Five and twenty minutes Well she went on to say that what remained now to be done was to bring about a marriage between them She spoke of it Fanny with a steadier voice than I can He was obliged to pause more than once as he continued We must persuade Henry to marry her said she and what with honour and the certainty of having shut himself out for ever from Fanny I do not despair of it Fanny he must give up I do not think that even he could now hope to succeed with one of her stamp and therefore I hope we may find no insuperable difficulty My influence which is not small shall all go that way and when once married and properly supported by her own family people of respectability as they are she may recover her footing in society to a certain degree In some circles we know she would never be admitted but with good dinners and large parties there will always be those who will be glad of her acquaintance and there is undoubtedly more liberality and candour on those points than formerly What I advise is that your father be quiet Do not let him injure his own cause by interference Persuade him to let things take their course If by any officious exertions of his she is induced to leave Henry 's protection there will be much less chance of his marrying her than if she remain with him I know how he is likely to be influenced Let Sir Thomas trust to his honour and compassion and it may all end well but if he get his daughter away it will be destroying the chief hold {para} After repeating this Edmund was so much affected that Fanny watching him with silent but most tender concern was almost sorry that the subject had been entered on at all It was long before he could speak again At last Now Fanny said he I shall soon have done I have told you the substance of all that she said As soon as I could speak I replied that I had not supposed it possible coming in such a state of mind into that house as I had done that anything could occur to make me suffer more but that she had been inflicting deeper wounds in almost every sentence That though I had in the course of our acquaintance been often sensible of some difference in our opinions on points too of some moment it had not entered my imagination to conceive the difference could be such as she had now proved it That the manner in which she treated the dreadful crime committed by her brother and my sister with whom lay the greater seduction I pretended not to say but the manner in which she spoke of the crime itself giving it every reproach but the right considering its ill consequences only as they were to be braved or overborne by a defiance of decency and impudence in wrong and last of all and above all recommending to us a compliance a compromise an acquiescence in the continuance of the sin on the chance of a marriage which thinking as I now thought of her brother should rather be prevented than sought all this together most grievously convinced me that I had never understood her before and that as far as related to mind it had been the creature of my own imagination not Miss Crawford that I had been too apt to dwell on for many months past That perhaps it was best for me I had less to regret in sacrificing a friendship feelings hopes which must at any rate have been torn from me now And yet that I must and would confess that could I have restored her to what she had appeared to me before I would infinitely prefer any increase of the pain of parting for the sake of carrying with me the right of tenderness and esteem This is what I said the purport of it but as you may imagine not spoken so collectedly or methodically as I have repeated it to you She was astonished exceedingly astonished more than astonished I saw her change countenance She turned extremely red I imagined I saw a mixture of many feelings a great though short struggle half a wish of yielding to truths half a sense of shame but habit habit carried it She would have laughed if she could It was a sort of laugh as she answered A pretty good lecture upon my word Was it part of your last sermon At this rate you will soon reform everybody at Mansfield and Thornton Lacey and when I hear of you next it may be as a celebrated preacher in some great society of Methodists or as a missionary into foreign parts She tried to speak carelessly but she was not so careless as she wanted to appear I only said in reply that from my heart I wished her well and earnestly hoped that she might soon learn to think more justly and not owe the most valuable knowledge we could any of us acquire the knowledge of ourselves and of our duty to the lessons of affliction and immediately left the room I had gone a few steps Fanny when I heard the door open behind me Mr Bertram said she I looked back Mr Bertram said she with a smile but it was a smile ill suited to the conversation that had passed a saucy playful smile seeming to invite in order to subdue me at least it appeared so to me I resisted it was the impulse of the moment to resist and still walked on I have since sometimes for a moment regretted that I did not go back but I know I was right and such has been the end of our acquaintance And what an acquaintance has it been How have I been deceived Equally in brother and sister deceived I thank you for your patience Fanny This has been the greatest relief and now we will have done {para} And such was Fanny 's dependence on his words that for five minutes she thought they had done Then however it all came on again or something very like it and nothing less than Lady Bertram 's rousing thoroughly up could really close such a conversation Till that happened they continued to talk of Miss Crawford alone and how she had attached him and how delightful nature had made her and how excellent she would have been had she fallen into good hands earlier Fanny now at liberty to speak openly felt more than justified in adding to his knowledge of her real character by some hint of what share his brother 's state of health might be supposed to have in her wish for a complete reconciliation This was not an agreeable intimation Nature resisted it for a while It would have been a vast deal pleasanter to have had her more disinterested in her attachment but his vanity was not of a strength to fight long against reason He submitted to believe that Tom 's illness had influenced her only reserving for himself this consoling thought that considering the many counteractions of opposing habits she had certainly been more attached to him than could have been expected and for his sake been more near doing right Fanny thought exactly the same and they were also quite agreed in their opinion of the lasting effect the indelible impression which such a disappointment must make on his mind Time would undoubtedly abate somewhat of his sufferings but still it was a sort of thing which he never could get entirely the better of and as to his ever meeting with any other woman who could it was too impossible to be named but with indignation Fanny 's friendship was all that he had to cling to {para} CHAPTER XLVIII {para} Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery I quit such odious subjects as soon as I can impatient to restore everybody not greatly in fault themselves to tolerable comfort and to have done with all the rest {para} My Fanny indeed at this very time I have the satisfaction of knowing must have been happy in spite of everything She must have been a happy creature in spite of all that she felt or thought she felt for the distress of those around her She had sources of delight that must force their way She was returned to Mansfield Park she was useful she was beloved she was safe from Mr Crawford and when Sir Thomas came back she had every proof that could be given in his then melancholy state of spirits of his perfect approbation and increased regard and happy as all this must make her she would still have been happy without any of it for Edmund was no longer the dupe of Miss Crawford {para} It is true that Edmund was very far from happy himself He was suffering from disappointment and regret grieving over what was and wishing for what could never be She knew it was so and was sorry but it was with a sorrow so founded on satisfaction so tending to ease and so much in harmony with every dearest sensation that there are few who might not have been glad to exchange their greatest gaiety for it {para} Sir Thomas poor Sir Thomas a parent and conscious of errors in his own conduct as a parent was the longest to suffer He felt that he ought not to have allowed the marriage that his daughter 's sentiments had been sufficiently known to him to render him culpable in authorising it that in so doing he had sacrificed the right to the expedient and been governed by motives of selfishness and worldly wisdom These were reflections that required some time to soften but time will do almost everything and though little comfort arose on Mrs Rushworth 's side for the misery she had occasioned comfort was to be found greater than he had supposed in his other children Julia 's match became a less desperate business than he had considered it at first She was humble and wishing to be forgiven and Mr Yates desirous of being really received into the family was disposed to look up to him and be guided He was not very solid but there was a hope of his becoming less trifling of his being at least tolerably domestic and quiet and at any rate there was comfort in finding his estate rather more and his debts much less than he had feared and in being consulted and treated as the friend best worth attending to There was comfort also in Tom who gradually regained his health without regaining the thoughtlessness and selfishness of his previous habits He was the better for ever for his illness He had suffered and he had learned to think two advantages that he had never known before and the self reproach arising from the deplorable event in Wimpole Street to which he felt himself accessory by all the dangerous intimacy of his unjustifiable theatre made an impression on his mind which at the age of six and twenty with no want of sense or good companions was durable in its happy effects He became what he ought to be useful to his father steady and quiet and not living merely for himself {para} Here was comfort indeed and quite as soon as Sir Thomas could place dependence on such sources of good Edmund was contributing to his father 's ease by improvement in the only point in which he had given him pain before improvement in his spirits After wandering about and sitting under trees with Fanny all the summer evenings he had so well talked his mind into submission as to be very tolerably cheerful again {para} These were the circumstances and the hopes which gradually brought their alleviation to Sir Thomas deadening his sense of what was lost and in part reconciling him to himself though the anguish arising from the conviction of his own errors in the education of his daughters was never to be entirely done away {para} Too late he became aware how unfavourable to the character of any young people must be the totally opposite treatment which Maria and Julia had been always experiencing at home where the excessive indulgence and flattery of their aunt had been continually contrasted with his own severity He saw how ill he had judged in expecting to counteract what was wrong in Mrs Norris by its reverse in himself clearly saw that he had but increased the evil by teaching them to repress their spirits in his presence so as to make their real disposition unknown to him and sending them for all their indulgences to a person who had been able to attach them only by the blindness of her affection and the excess of her praise {para} Here had been grievous mismanagement but bad as it was he gradually grew to feel that it had not been the most direful mistake in his plan of education Something must have been wanting within or time would have worn away much of its ill effect He feared that principle active principle had been wanting that they had never been properly taught to govern their inclinations and tempers by that sense of duty which can alone suffice They had been instructed theoretically in their religion but never required to bring it into daily practice To be distinguished for elegance and accomplishments the authorised object of their youth could have had no useful influence that way no moral effect on the mind He had meant them to be good but his cares had been directed to the understanding and manners not the disposition and of the necessity of self denial and humility he feared they had never heard from any lips that could profit them {para} Bitterly did he deplore a deficiency which now he could scarcely comprehend to have been possible Wretchedly did he feel that with all the cost and care of an anxious and expensive education he had brought up his daughters without their understanding their first duties or his being acquainted with their character and temper {para} The high spirit and strong passions of Mrs Rushworth especially were made known to him only in their sad result She was not to be prevailed on to leave Mr Crawford She hoped to marry him and they continued together till she was obliged to be convinced that such hope was vain and till the disappointment and wretchedness arising from the conviction rendered her temper so bad and her feelings for him so like hatred as to make them for a while each other 's punishment and then induce a voluntary separation {para} She had lived with him to be reproached as the ruin of all his happiness in Fanny and carried away no better consolation in leaving him than that she had divided them What can exceed the misery of such a mind in such a situation {para} Mr Rushworth had no difficulty in procuring a divorce and so ended a marriage contracted under such circumstances as to make any better end the effect of good luck not to be reckoned on She had despised him and loved another and he had been very much aware that it was so The indignities of stupidity and the disappointments of selfish passion can excite little pity His punishment followed his conduct as did a deeper punishment the deeper guilt of his wife He was released from the engagement to be mortified and unhappy till some other pretty girl could attract him into matrimony again and he might set forward on a second and it is to be hoped more prosperous trial of the state if duped to be duped at least with good humour and good luck while she must withdraw with infinitely stronger feelings to a retirement and reproach which could allow no second spring of hope or character {para} Where she could be placed became a subject of most melancholy and momentous consultation Mrs Norris whose attachment seemed to augment with the demerits of her niece would have had her received at home and countenanced by them all Sir Thomas would not hear of it and Mrs Norris 's anger against Fanny was so much the greater from considering her residence there as the motive She persisted in placing his scruples to her account though Sir Thomas very solemnly assured her that had there been no young woman in question had there been no young person of either sex belonging to him to be endangered by the society or hurt by the character of Mrs Rushworth he would never have offered so great an insult to the neighbourhood as to expect it to notice her As a daughter he hoped a penitent one she should be protected by him and secured in every comfort and supported by every encouragement to do right which their relative situations admitted but farther than that he could not go Maria had destroyed her own character and he would not by a vain attempt to restore what never could be restored by affording his sanction to vice or in seeking to lessen its disgrace be anywise accessory to introducing such misery in another man 's family as he had known himself {para} It ended in Mrs Norris 's resolving to quit Mansfield and devote herself to her unfortunate Maria and in an establishment being formed for them in another country remote and private where shut up together with little society on one side no affection on the other no judgment it may be reasonably supposed that their tempers became their mutual punishment {para} Mrs Norris 's removal from Mansfield was the great supplementary comfort of Sir Thomas 's life His opinion of her had been sinking from the day of his return from Antigua in every transaction together from that period in their daily intercourse in business or in chat she had been regularly losing ground in his esteem and convincing him that either time had done her much disservice or that he had considerably over rated her sense and wonderfully borne with her manners before He had felt her as an hourly evil which was so much the worse as there seemed no chance of its ceasing but with life she seemed a part of himself that must be borne for ever To be relieved from her therefore was so great a felicity that had she not left bitter remembrances behind her there might have been danger of his learning almost to approve the evil which produced such a good {para} She was regretted by no one at Mansfield She had never been able to attach even those she loved best and since Mrs Rushworth 's elopement her temper had been in a state of such irritation as to make her everywhere tormenting Not even Fanny had tears for aunt Norris not even when she was gone for ever {para} That Julia escaped better than Maria was owing in some measure to a favourable difference of disposition and circumstance but in a greater to her having been less the darling of that very aunt less flattered and less spoilt Her beauty and acquirements had held but a second place She had been always used to think herself a little inferior to Maria Her temper was naturally the easiest of the two her feelings though quick were more controllable and education had not given her so very hurtful a degree of self consequence {para} She had submitted the best to the disappointment in Henry Crawford After the first bitterness of the conviction of being slighted was over she had been tolerably soon in a fair way of not thinking of him again and when the acquaintance was renewed in town and Mr Rushworth 's house became Crawford 's object she had had the merit of withdrawing herself from it and of chusing that time to pay a visit to her other friends in order to secure herself from being again too much attracted This had been her motive in going to her cousin 's Mr Yates 's convenience had had nothing to do with it She had been allowing his attentions some time but with very little idea of ever accepting him and had not her sister 's conduct burst forth as it did and her increased dread of her father and of home on that event imagining its certain consequence to herself would be greater severity and restraint made her hastily resolve on avoiding such immediate horrors at all risks it is probable that Mr Yates would never have succeeded She had not eloped with any worse feelings than those of selfish alarm It had appeared to her the only thing to be done Maria 's guilt had induced Julia 's folly {para} Henry Crawford ruined by early independence and bad domestic example indulged in the freaks of a cold blooded vanity a little too long Once it had by an opening undesigned and unmerited led him into the way of happiness Could he have been satisfied with the conquest of one amiable woman 's affections could he have found sufficient exultation in overcoming the reluctance in working himself into the esteem and tenderness of Fanny Price there would have been every probability of success and felicity for him His affection had already done something Her influence over him had already given him some influence over her Would he have deserved more there can be no doubt that more would have been obtained especially when that marriage had taken place which would have given him the assistance of her conscience in subduing her first inclination and brought them very often together Would he have persevered and uprightly Fanny must have been his reward and a reward very voluntarily bestowed within a reasonable period from Edmund 's marrying Mary {para} Had he done as he intended and as he knew he ought by going down to Everingham after his return from Portsmouth he might have been deciding his own happy destiny But he was pressed to stay for Mrs Fraser 's party his staying was made of flattering consequence and he was to meet Mrs Rushworth there Curiosity and vanity were both engaged and the temptation of immediate pleasure was too strong for a mind unused to make any sacrifice to right he resolved to defer his Norfolk journey resolved that writing should answer the purpose of it or that its purpose was unimportant and staid He saw Mrs Rushworth was received by her with a coldness which ought to have been repulsive and have established apparent indifference between them for ever but he was mortified he could not bear to be thrown off by the woman whose smiles had been so wholly at his command he must exert himself to subdue so proud a display of resentment it was anger on Fanny 's account he must get the better of it and make Mrs Rushworth Maria Bertram again in her treatment of himself {para} In this spirit he began the attack and by animated perseverance had soon re established the sort of familiar intercourse of gallantry of flirtation which bounded his views but in triumphing over the discretion which though beginning in anger might have saved them both he had put himself in the power of feelings on her side more strong than he had supposed She loved him there was no withdrawing attentions avowedly dear to her He was entangled by his own vanity with as little excuse of love as possible and without the smallest inconstancy of mind towards her cousin To keep Fanny and the Bertrams from a knowledge of what was passing became his first object Secrecy could not have been more desirable for Mrs Rushworth 's credit than he felt it for his own When he returned from Richmond he would have been glad to see Mrs Rushworth no more All that followed was the result of her imprudence and he went off with her at last because he could not help it regretting Fanny even at the moment but regretting her infinitely more when all the bustle of the intrigue was over and a very few months had taught him by the force of contrast to place a yet higher value on the sweetness of her temper the purity of her mind and the excellence of her principles {para} That punishment the public punishment of disgrace should in a just measure attend his share of the offence is we know not one of the barriers which society gives to virtue In this world the penalty is less equal than could be wished but without presuming to look forward to a juster appointment hereafter we may fairly consider a man of sense like Henry Crawford to be providing for himself no small portion of vexation and regret vexation that must rise sometimes to self reproach and regret to wretchedness in having so requited hospitality so injured family peace so forfeited his best most estimable and endeared acquaintance and so lost the woman whom he had rationally as well as passionately loved {para} After what had passed to wound and alienate the two families the continuance of the Bertrams and Grants in such close neighbourhood would have been most distressing but the absence of the latter for some months purposely lengthened ended very fortunately in the necessity or at least the practicability of a permanent removal Dr Grant through an interest on which he had almost ceased to form hopes succeeded to a stall in Westminster which as affording an occasion for leaving Mansfield an excuse for residence in London and an increase of income to answer the expenses of the change was highly acceptable to those who went and those who staid {para} Mrs Grant with a temper to love and be loved must have gone with some regret from the scenes and people she had been used to but the same happiness of disposition must in any place and any society secure her a great deal to enjoy and she had again a home to offer Mary and Mary had had enough of her own friends enough of vanity ambition love and disappointment in the course of the last half year to be in need of the true kindness of her sister 's heart and the rational tranquillity of her ways They lived together and when Dr Grant had brought on apoplexy and death by three great institutionary dinners in one week they still lived together for Mary though perfectly resolved against ever attaching herself to a younger brother again was long in finding among the dashing representatives or idle heir apparents who were at the command of her beauty and her 20000 any one who could satisfy the better taste she had acquired at Mansfield whose character and manners could authorise a hope of the domestic happiness she had there learned to estimate or put Edmund Bertram sufficiently out of her head {para} Edmund had greatly the advantage of her in this respect He had not to wait and wish with vacant affections for an object worthy to succeed her in them Scarcely had he done regretting Mary Crawford and observing to Fanny how impossible it was that he should ever meet with such another woman before it began to strike him whether a very different kind of woman might not do just as well or a great deal better whether Fanny herself were not growing as dear as important to him in all her smiles and all her ways as Mary Crawford had ever been and whether it might not be a possible an hopeful undertaking to persuade her that her warm and sisterly regard for him would be foundation enough for wedded love {para} I purposely abstain from dates on this occasion that every one may be at liberty to fix their own aware that the cure of unconquerable passions and the transfer of unchanging attachments must vary much as to time in different people I only entreat everybody to believe that exactly at the time when it was quite natural that it should be so and not a week earlier Edmund did cease to care about Miss Crawford and became as anxious to marry Fanny as Fanny herself could desire {para} With such a regard for her indeed as his had long been a regard founded on the most endearing claims of innocence and helplessness and completed by every recommendation of growing worth what could be more natural than the change Loving guiding protecting her as he had been doing ever since her being ten years old her mind in so great a degree formed by his care and her comfort depending on his kindness an object to him of such close and peculiar interest dearer by all his own importance with her than any one else at Mansfield what was there now to add but that he should learn to prefer soft light eyes to sparkling dark ones And being always with her and always talking confidentially and his feelings exactly in that favourable state which a recent disappointment gives those soft light eyes could not be very long in obtaining the pre eminence {para} Having once set out and felt that he had done so on this road to happiness there was nothing on the side of prudence to stop him or make his progress slow no doubts of her deserving no fears of opposition of taste no need of drawing new hopes of happiness from dissimilarity of temper Her mind disposition opinions and habits wanted no half concealment no self deception on the present no reliance on future improvement Even in the midst of his late infatuation he had acknowledged Fanny 's mental superiority What must be his sense of it now therefore She was of course only too good for him but as nobody minds having what is too good for them he was very steadily earnest in the pursuit of the blessing and it was not possible that encouragement from her should be long wanting Timid anxious doubting as she was it was still impossible that such tenderness as hers should not at times hold out the strongest hope of success though it remained for a later period to tell him the whole delightful and astonishing truth His happiness in knowing himself to have been so long the beloved of such a heart must have been great enough to warrant any strength of language in which he could clothe it to her or to himself it must have been a delightful happiness But there was happiness elsewhere which no description can reach Let no one presume to give the feelings of a young woman on receiving the assurance of that affection of which she has scarcely allowed herself to entertain a hope {para} Their own inclinations ascertained there were no difficulties behind no drawback of poverty or parent It was a match which Sir Thomas 's wishes had even forestalled Sick of ambitious and mercenary connexions prizing more and more the sterling good of principle and temper and chiefly anxious to bind by the strongest securities all that remained to him of domestic felicity he had pondered with genuine satisfaction on the more than possibility of the two young friends finding their natural consolation in each other for all that had occurred of disappointment to either and the joyful consent which met Edmund 's application the high sense of having realised a great acquisition in the promise of Fanny for a daughter formed just such a contrast with his early opinion on the subject when the poor little girl 's coming had been first agitated as time is for ever producing between the plans and decisions of mortals for their own instruction and their neighbours entertainment {para} Fanny was indeed the daughter that he wanted His charitable kindness had been rearing a prime comfort for himself His liberality had a rich repayment and the general goodness of his intentions by her deserved it He might have made her childhood happier but it had been an error of judgment only which had given him the appearance of harshness and deprived him of her early love and now on really knowing each other their mutual attachment became very strong After settling her at Thornton Lacey with every kind attention to her comfort the object of almost every day was to see her there or to get her away from it {para} Selfishly dear as she had long been to Lady Bertram she could not be parted with willingly by her No happiness of son or niece could make her wish the marriage But it was possible to part with her because Susan remained to supply her place Susan became the stationary niece delighted to be so and equally well adapted for it by a readiness of mind and an inclination for usefulness as Fanny had been by sweetness of temper and strong feelings of gratitude Susan could never be spared First as a comfort to Fanny then as an auxiliary and last as her substitute she was established at Mansfield with every appearance of equal permanency Her more fearless disposition and happier nerves made everything easy to her there With quickness in understanding the tempers of those she had to deal with and no natural timidity to restrain any consequent wishes she was soon welcome and useful to all and after Fanny 's removal succeeded so naturally to her influence over the hourly comfort of her aunt as gradually to become perhaps the most beloved of the two In her usefulness in Fanny 's excellence in William 's continued good conduct and rising fame and in the general well doing and success of the other members of the family all assisting to advance each other and doing credit to his countenance and aid Sir Thomas saw repeated and for ever repeated reason to rejoice in what he had done for them all and acknowledge the advantages of early hardship and discipline and the consciousness of being born to struggle and endure {para} With so much true merit and true love and no want of fortune and friends the happiness of the married cousins must appear as secure as earthly happiness can be Equally formed for domestic life and attached to country pleasures their home was the home of affection and comfort and to complete the picture of good the acquisition of Mansfield living by the death of Dr Grant occurred just after they had been married long enough to begin to want an increase of income and feel their distance from the paternal abode an inconvenience {para} On that event they removed to Mansfield and the Parsonage there which under each of its two former owners Fanny had never been able to approach but with some painful sensation of restraint or alarm soon grew as dear to her heart and as thoroughly perfect in her eyes as everything else within the view and patronage of Mansfield Park had long been {para} THE END {para} NORTHANGER ABBEY {para} by Jane Austen 1803 {para} ADVERTISEMENT BY THE AUTHORESS TO NORTHANGER ABBEY {para} THIS little work was finished in the year 1803 and intended for immediate publication It was disposed of to a bookseller it was even advertised and why the business proceeded no farther the author has never been able to learn That any bookseller should think it worth while to purchase what he did not think it worth while to publish seems extraordinary But with this neither the author nor the public have any other concern than as some observation is necessary upon those parts of the work which thirteen years have made comparatively obsolete The public are entreated to bear in mind that thirteen years have passed since it was finished many more since it was begun and that during that period places manners books and opinions have undergone considerable changes {para} CHAPTER 1 {para} No one who had ever seen Catherine Morland in her infancy would have supposed her born to be an heroine Her situation in life the character of her father and mother her own person and disposition were all equally against her Her father was a clergyman without being neglected or poor and a very respectable man though his name was Richard and he had never been handsome He had a considerable independence besides two good livings and he was not in the least addicted to locking up his daughters Her mother was a woman of useful plain sense with a good temper and what is more remarkable with a good constitution She had three sons before Catherine was born and instead of dying in bringing the latter into the world as anybody might expect she still lived on lived to have six children more to see them growing up around her and to enjoy excellent health herself A family of ten children will be always called a fine family where there are heads and arms and legs enough for the number but the Morlands had little other right to the word for they were in general very plain and Catherine for many years of her life as plain as any She had a thin awkward figure a sallow skin without colour dark lank hair and strong features so much for her person and not less unpropiteous for heroism seemed her mind She was fond of all boy 's plays and greatly preferred cricket not merely to dolls but to the more heroic enjoyments of infancy nursing a dormouse feeding a canary bird or watering a rose bush Indeed she had no taste for a garden and if she gathered flowers at all it was chiefly for the pleasure of mischief at least so it was conjectured from her always preferring those which she was forbidden to take Such were her propensities her abilities were quite as extraordinary She never could learn or understand anything before she was taught and sometimes not even then for she was often inattentive and occasionally stupid Her mother was three months in teaching her only to repeat the Beggar 's Petition and after all her next sister Sally could say it better than she did Not that Catherine was always stupid by no means she learnt the fable of The Hare and Many Friends as quickly as any girl in England Her mother wished her to learn music and Catherine was sure she should like it for she was very fond of tinkling the keys of the old forlorn spinner so at eight years old she began She learnt a year and could not bear it and Mrs Morland who did not insist on her daughters being accomplished in spite of incapacity or distaste allowed her to leave off The day which dismissed the music master was one of the happiest of Catherine 's life Her taste for drawing was not superior though whenever she could obtain the outside of a letter from her mother or seize upon any other odd piece of paper she did what she could in that way by drawing houses and trees hens and chickens all very much like one another Writing and accounts she was taught by her father French by her mother her proficiency in either was not remarkable and she shirked her lessons in both whenever she could What a strange unaccountable character for with all these symptoms of profligacy at ten years old she had neither a bad heart nor a bad temper was seldom stubborn scarcely ever quarrelsome and very kind to the little ones with few interruptions of tyranny she was moreover noisy and wild hated confinement and cleanliness and loved nothing so well in the world as rolling down the green slope at the back of the house {para} Such was Catherine Morland at ten At fifteen appearances were mending she began to curl her hair and long for balls her complexion improved her features were softened by plumpness and colour her eyes gained more animation and her figure more consequence Her love of dirt gave way to an inclination for finery and she grew clean as she grew smart she had now the pleasure of sometimes hearing her father and mother remark on her personal improvement Catherine grows quite a good looking girl she is almost pretty today were words which caught her ears now and then and how welcome were the sounds To look almost pretty is an acquisition of higher delight to a girl who has been looking plain the first fifteen years of her life than a beauty from her cradle can ever receive {para} Mrs Morland was a very good woman and wished to see her children everything they ought to be but her time was so much occupied in lying in and teaching the little ones that her elder daughters were inevitably left to shift for themselves and it was not very wonderful that Catherine who had by nature nothing heroic about her should prefer cricket baseball riding on horseback and running about the country at the age of fourteen to books or at least books of information for provided that nothing like useful knowledge could be gained from them provided they were all story and no reflection she had never any objection to books at all But from fifteen to seventeen she was in training for a heroine she read all such works as heroines must read to supply their memories with those quotations which are so serviceable and so soothing in the vicissitudes of their eventful lives {para} From Pope she learnt to censure those who bear about the mockery of woe {para} From Gray that Many a flower is born to blush unseen And waste its fragrance on the desert air {para} From Thompson that It is a delightful task To teach the young idea how to shoot {para} And from Shakespeare she gained a great store of information amongst the rest that Trifles light as air Are to the jealous confirmation strong As proofs of Holy Writ {para} That The poor beetle which we tread upon In corporal sufferance feels a pang as great As when a giant dies {para} And that a young woman in love always looks like Patience on a monument Smiling at Grief {para} So far her improvement was sufficient and in many other points she came on exceedingly well for though she could not write sonnets she brought herself to read them and though there seemed no chance of her throwing a whole party into raptures by a prelude on the pianoforte of her own composition she could listen to other people 's performance with very little fatigue Her greatest deficiency was in the pencil she had no notion of drawing not enough even to attempt a sketch of her lover 's profile that she might be detected in the design There she fell miserably short of the true heroic height At present she did not know her own poverty for she had no lover to portray She had reached the age of seventeen without having seen one amiable youth who could call forth her sensibility without having inspired one real passion and without having excited even any admiration but what was very moderate and very transient This was strange indeed But strange things may be generally accounted for if their cause be fairly searched out There was not one lord in the neighbourhood no not even a baronet There was not one family among their acquaintance who had reared and supported a boy accidentally found at their door not one young man whose origin was unknown Her father had no ward and the squire of the parish no children {para} But when a young lady is to be a heroine the perverseness of forty surrounding families cannot prevent her Something must and will happen to throw a hero in her way {para} Mr Allen who owned the chief of the property about Fullerton the village in Wiltshire where the Morlands lived was ordered to Bath for the benefit of a gouty constitution and his lady a good humoured woman fond of Miss Morland and probably aware that if adventures will not befall a young lady in her own village she must seek them abroad invited her to go with them Mr and Mrs Morland were all compliance and Catherine all happiness {para} CHAPTER 2 {para} In addition to what has been already said of Catherine Morlands personal and mental endowments when about to be launched into all the difficulties and dangers of a six weeks residence in Bath it may be stated for the reader 's more certain information lest the following pages should otherwise fail of giving any idea of what her character is meant to be that her heart was affectionate her disposition cheerful and open without conceit or affectation of any kind her manners just removed from the awkwardness and shyness of a girl her person pleasing and when in good looks pretty and her mind about as ignorant and uninformed as the female mind at seventeen usually is {para} When the hour of departure drew near the maternal anxiety of Mrs Morland will be naturally supposed to be most severe A thousand alarming presentiments of evil to her beloved Catherine from this terrific separation must oppress her heart with sadness and drown her in tears for the last day or two of their being together and advice of the most important and applicable nature must of course flow from her wise lips in their parting conference in her closet Cautions against the violence of such noblemen and baronets as delight in forcing young ladies away to some remote farm house must at such a moment relieve the fulness of her heart Who would not think so But Mrs Morland knew so little of lords and baronets that she entertained no notion of their general mischievousness and was wholly unsuspicious of danger to her daughter from their machinations Her cautions were confined to the following points I beg Catherine you will always wrap yourself up very warm about the throat when you come from the rooms at night and I wish you would try to keep some account of the money you spend I will give you this little book on purpose {para} Sally or rather Sarah for what young lady of common gentility will reach the age of sixteen without altering her name as far as she can must from situation be at this time the intimate friend and confidante of her sister It is remarkable however that she neither insisted on Catherine 's writing by every post nor exacted her promise of transmitting the character of every new acquaintance nor a detail of every interesting conversation that Bath might produce Everything indeed relative to this important journey was done on the part of the Morlands with a degree of moderation and composure which seemed rather consistent with the common feelings of common life than with the refined susceptibilities the tender emotions which the first separation of a heroine from her family ought always to excite Her father instead of giving her an unlimited order on his banker or even putting an hundred pounds bank bill into her hands gave her only ten guineas and promosed her more when she wanted it {para} Under these unpromising auspices the parting took place and the journey began It was performed with suitable quietness and uneventful safety Neither robbers nor tempests befriended them nor one lucky overturn to introduce them to the hero Nothing more alarming occurred than a fear on Mrs Allen 's side of having once left her clogs behind her at an inn and that fortunately proved to be groundless {para} They arrived at Bath Catherine was all eager delight her eyes were here there everywhere as they approached its fine and striking environs and afterwards drove through those streets which conducted them to the hotel She was come to be happy and she felt happy already {para} They were soon settled in comfortable lodgings in Pulteney Street {para} It is now expedient to give some description of Mrs Allen that the reader may be able to judge in what manner her actions will hereafter tend to promote the general distress of the work and how she will probably contribute to reduce poor Catherine to all the desperate wretchedness of which a last volume is capable whether by her imprudence vulgarity or jealousy whether by intercepting her letters ruining her character or turning her out of doors {para} Mrs Allen was one of that numerous class of females whose society can raise no other emotion than surprise at there being any men in the world who could like them well enough to marry them She had neither beauty genius accomplishment nor manner The air of a gentlewoman a great deal of quiet inactive good temper and a trifling turn of mind were all that could account for her being the choice of a sensible intelligent man like Mr Allen In one respect she was admirably fitted to introduce a young lady into public being as fond of going everywhere and seeing everything herself as any young lady could be Dress was her passion She had a most harmless delight in being fine and our heroine 's entree into life could not take place till after three or four days had been spent in learning what was mostly worn and her chaperone was provided with a dress of the newest fashion Catherine too made some purchases herself and when all these matters were arranged the important evening came which was to usher her into the Upper Rooms Her hair was cut and dressed by the best hand her clothes put on with care and both Mrs Allen and her maid declared she looked quite as she should do With such encouragement Catherine hoped at least to pass uncensured through the crowd As for admiration it was always very welcome when it came but she did not depend on it {para} Mrs Allen was so long in dressing that they did not enter the ballroom till late The season was full the room crowded and the two ladies squeezed in as well as they could As for Mr Allen he repaired directly to the card room and left them to enjoy a mob by themselves With more care for the safety of her new gown than for the comfort of her protegee Mrs Allen made her way through the throng of men by the door as swiftly as the necessary caution would allow Catherine however kept close at her side and linked her arm too firmly within her friend 's to be torn asunder by any common effort of a struggling assembly But to her utter amazement she found that to proceed along the room was by no means the way to disengage themselves from the crowd it seemed rather to increase as they went on whereas she had imagined that when once fairly within the door they should easily find seats and be able to watch the dances with perfect convenience But this was far from being the case and though by unwearied diligence they gained even the top of the room their situation was just the same they saw nothing of the dancers but the high feathers of some of the ladies Still they moved on something better was yet in view and by a continued exertion of strength and ingenuity they found themselves at last in the passage behind the highest bench Here there was something less of crowd than below and hence Miss Morland had a comprehensive view of all the company beneath her and of all the dangers of her late passage through them It was a splendid sight and she began for the first time that evening to feel herself at a ball she longed to dance but she had not an acquaintance in the room Mrs Allen did all that she could do in such a case by saying very placidly every now and then I wish you could dance my dear I wish you could get a partner For some time her young friend felt obliged to her for these wishes but they were repeated so often and proved so totally ineffectual that Catherine grew tired at last and would thank her no more {para} They were not long able however to enjoy the repose of the eminence they had so laboriously gained Everybody was shortly in motion for tea and they must squeeze out like the rest Catherine began to feel something of disappointment she was tired of being continually pressed against by people the generality of whose faces possessed nothing to interest and with all of whom she was so wholly unacquainted that she could not relieve the irksomeness of imprisonment by the exchange of a syllable with any of her fellow captives and when at last arrived in the tea room she felt yet more the awkwardness of having no party to join no acquaintance to claim no gentleman to assist them They saw nothing of Mr Allen and after looking about them in vain for a more eligible situation were obliged to sit down at the end of a table at which a large party were already placed without having anything to do there or anybody to speak to except each other {para} Mrs Allen congratulated herself as soon as they were seated on having preserved her gown from injury It would have been very shocking to have it torn said she would not it It is such a delicate muslin For my part I have not seen anything I like so well in the whole room I assure you {para} How uncomfortable it is whispered Catherine not to have a single acquaintance here {para} Yes my dear replied Mrs Allen with perfect serenity it is very uncomfortable indeed {para} What shall we do The gentlemen and ladies at this table look as if they wondered why we came here we seem forcing ourselves into their party {para} Aye so we do That is very disagreeable I wish we had a large acquaintance here {para} I wish we had any it would be somebody to go to {para} Very true my dear and if we knew anybody we would join them directly The Skinners were here last year I wish they were here now {para} Had not we better go away as it is Here are no tea things for us you see {para} No more there are indeed How very provoking But I think we had better sit still for one gets so tumbled in such a crowd How is my head my dear Somebody gave me a push that has hurt it I am afraid {para} No indeed it looks very nice But dear Mrs Allen are you sure there is nobody you know in all this multitude of people I think you must know somebody {para} I don't upon my word I wish I did I wish I had a large acquaintance here with all my heart and then I should get you a partner I should be so glad to have you dance There goes a strange looking woman What an odd gown she has got on How old fashioned it is Look at the back {para} After some time they received an offer of tea from one of their neighbours it was thankfully accepted and this introduced a light conversation with the gentleman who offered it which was the only time that anybody spoke to them during the evening till they were discovered and joined by Mr Allen when the dance was over {para} Well Miss Morland said he directly I hope you have had an agreeable ball {para} Very agreeable indeed she replied vainly endeavouring to hide a great yawn {para} I wish she had been able to dance said his wife I wish we could have got a partner for her I have been saying how glad I should be if the Skinners were here this winter instead of last or if the Parrys had come as they talked of once she might have danced with George Parry I am so sorry she has not had a partner {para} We shall do better another evening I hope was Mr Allen 's consolation {para} The company began to disperse when the dancing was over enough to leave space for the remainder to walk about in some comfort and now was the time for a heroine who had not yet played a very distinguished part in the events of the evening to be noticed and admired Every five minutes by removing some of the crowd gave greater openings for her charms She was now seen by many young men who had not been near her before Not one however started with rapturous wonder on beholding her no whisper of eager inquiry ran round the room nor was she once called a divinity by anybody Yet Catherine was in very good looks and had the company only seen her three years before they would now have thought her exceedingly handsome {para} She was looked at however and with some admiration for in her own hearing two gentlemen pronounced her to be a pretty girl Such words had their due effect she immediately thought the evening pleasanter than she had found it before her humble vanity was contented she felt more obliged to the two young men for this simple praise than a true quality heroine would have been for fifteen sonnets in celebration of her charms and went to her chair in good humour with everybody and perfectly satisfied with her share of public attention {para} CHAPTER 3 {para} Every morning now brought its regular duties shops were to be visited some new part of the town to be looked at and the pump room to be attended where they paraded up and down for an hour looking at everybody and speaking to no one The wish of a numerous acquaintance in Bath was still uppermost with Mrs Allen and she repeated it after every fresh proof which every morning brought of her knowing nobody at all {para} They made their appearance in the Lower Rooms and here fortune was more favourable to our heroine The master of the ceremonies introduced to her a very gentlemanlike young man as a partner his name was Tilney He seemed to be about four or five and twenty was rather tall had a pleasing countenance a very intelligent and lively eye and if not quite handsome was very near it His address was good and Catherine felt herself in high luck There was little leisure for speaking while they danced but when they were seated at tea she found him as agreeable as she had already given him credit for being He talked with fluency and spirit and there was an archness and pleasantry in his manner which interested though it was hardly understood by her After chatting some time on such matters as naturally arose from the objects around them he suddenly addressed her with I have hitherto been very remiss madam in the proper attentions of a partner here I have not yet asked you how long you have been in Bath whether you were ever here before whether you have been at the Upper Rooms the theatre and the concert and how you like the place altogether I have been very negligent but are you now at leisure to satisfy me in these particulars If you are I will begin directly {para} You need not give yourself that trouble sir {para} No trouble I assure you madam Then forming his features into a set smile and affectedly softening his voice he added with a simpering air Have you been long in Bath madam {para} About a week sir replied Catherine trying not to laugh {para} Really with affected astonishment {para} Why should you be surprised sir {para} Why indeed said he in his natural tone But some emotion must appear to be raised by your reply and surprise is more easily assumed and not less reasonable than any other Now let us go on Were you never here before madam {para} Never sir {para} Indeed Have you yet honoured the Upper Rooms {para} Yes sir I was there last Monday {para} Have you been to the theatre {para} Yes sir I was at the play on Tuesday {para} To the concert {para} Yes sir on Wednesday {para} And are you altogether pleased with Bath {para} Yes I like it very well {para} Now I must give one smirk and then we may be rational again Catherine turned away her head not knowing whether she might venture to laugh I see what you think of me said he gravely I shall make but a poor figure in your journal tomorrow {para} My journal Yes I know exactly what you will say Friday went to the Lower Rooms wore my sprigged muslin robe with blue trimmings plain black shoes appeared to much advantage but was strangely harassed by a queer half witted man who would make me dance with him and distressed me by his nonsense {para} Indeed I shall say no such thing {para} Shall I tell you what you ought to say {para} If you please {para} I danced with a very agreeable young man introduced by Mr King had a great deal of conversation with him seems a most extraordinary genius hope I may know more of him That madam is what I wish you to say {para} But perhaps I keep no journal {para} Perhaps you are not sitting in this room and I am not sitting by you These are points in which a doubt is equally possible Not keep a journal How are your absent cousins to understand the tenour of your life in Bath without one How are the civilities and compliments of every day to be related as they ought to be unless noted down every evening in a journal How are your various dresses to be remembered and the particular state of your complexion and curl of your hair to be described in all their diversities without having constant recourse to a journal My dear madam I am not so ignorant of young ladies ways as you wish to believe me it is this delightful habit of journaling which largely contributes to form the easy style of writing for which ladies are so generally celebrated Everybody allows that the talent of writing agreeable letters is peculiarly female Nature may have done something but I am sure it must be essentially assisted by the practice of keeping a journal {para} I have sometimes thought said Catherine doubtingly whether ladies do write so much better letters than gentlemen That is I should not think the superiority was always on our side {para} As far as I have had opportunity of judging it appears to me that the usual style of letter writing among women is faultless except in three particulars {para} And what are they {para} A general deficiency of subject a total inattention to stops and a very frequent ignorance of grammar {para} Upon my word I need not have been afraid of disclaiming the compliment You do not think too highly of us in that way {para} I should no more lay it down as a general rule that women write better letters than men than that they sing better duets or draw better landscapes In every power of which taste is the foundation excellence is pretty fairly divided between the sexes {para} They were interrupted by Mrs Allen My dear Catherine said she do take this pin out of my sleeve I am afraid it has torn a hole already I shall be quite sorry if it has for this is a favourite gown though it cost but nine shillings a yard {para} That is exactly what I should have guessed it madam said Mr Tilney looking at the muslin {para} Do you understand muslins sir {para} Particularly well I always buy my own cravats and am allowed to be an excellent judge and my sister has often trusted me in the choice of a gown I bought one for her the other day and it was pronounced to be a prodigious bargain by every lady who saw it I gave but five shillings a yard for it and a true Indian muslin {para} Mrs Allen was quite struck by his genius Men commonly take so little notice of those things said she I can never get Mr Allen to know one of my gowns from another You must be a great comfort to your sister sir {para} I hope I am madam {para} And pray sir what do you think of Miss Morland 's gown {para} It is very pretty madam said he gravely examining it but I do not think it will wash well I am afraid it will fray {para} How can you said Catherine laughing be so She had almost said strange {para} I am quite of your opinion sir replied Mrs Allen and so I told Miss Morland when she bought it {para} But then you know madam muslin always turns to some account or other Miss Morland will get enough out of it for a handkerchief or a cap or a cloak Muslin can never be said to be wasted I have heard my sister say so forty times when she has been extravagant in buying more than she wanted or careless in cutting it to pieces {para} Bath is a charming place sir there are so many good shops here We are sadly off in the country not but what we have very good shops in Salisbury but it is so far to go eight miles is a long way Mr Allen says it is nine measured nine but I am sure it cannot be more than eight and it is such a fag I come back tired to death Now here one can step out of doors and get a thing in five minutes {para} Mr Tilney was polite enough to seem interested in what she said and she kept him on the subject of muslins till the dancing recommenced Catherine feared as she listened to their discourse that he indulged himself a little too much with the foibles of others What are you thinking of so earnestly said he as they walked back to the ballroom not of your partner I hope for by that shake of the head your meditations are not satisfactory {para} Catherine coloured and said I was not thinking of anything {para} That is artful and deep to be sure but I had rather be told at once that you will not tell me {para} Well then I will not {para} Thank you for now we shall soon be acquainted as I am authorized to tease you on this subject whenever we meet and nothing in the world advances intimacy so much {para} They danced again and when the assembly closed parted on the lady 's side at least with a strong inclination for continuing the acquaintance Whether she thought of him so much while she drank her warm wine and water and prepared herself for bed as to dream of him when there cannot be ascertained but I hope it was no more than in a slight slumber or a morning doze at most for if it be true as a celebrated writer has maintained that no young lady can be justified in falling in love before the gentleman 's love is declared it must be very improper that a young lady should dream of a gentleman before the gentleman is first known to have dreamt of her How proper Mr Tilney might be as a dreamer or a lover had not yet perhaps entered Mr Allen 's head but that he was not objectionable as a common acquaintance for his young charge he was on inquiry satisfied for he had early in the evening taken pains to know who her partner was and had been assured of Mr Tilney 's being a clergyman and of a very respectable family in Gloucestershire {para} CHAPTER 4 {para} With more than usual eagerness did Catherine hasten to the pump room the next day secure within herself of seeing Mr Tilney there before the morning were over and ready to meet him with a smile but no smile was demanded Mr Tilney did not appear Every creature in Bath except himself was to be seen in the room at different periods of the fashionable hours crowds of people were every moment passing in and out up the steps and down people whom nobody cared about and nobody wanted to see and he only was absent What a delightful place Bath is said Mrs Allen as they sat down near the great clock after parading the room till they were tired and how pleasant it would be if we had any acquaintance here {para} This sentiment had been uttered so often in vain that Mrs Allen had no particular reason to hope it would be followed with more advantage now but we are told to despair of nothing we would attain as unwearied diligence our point would gain and the unwearied diligence with which she had every day wished for the same thing was at length to have its just reward for hardly had she been seated ten minutes before a lady of about her own age who was sitting by her and had been looking at her attentively for several minutes addressed her with great complaisance in these words I think madam I cannot be mistaken it is a long time since I had the pleasure of seeing you but is not your name Allen This question answered as it readily was the stranger pronounced hers to be Thorpe and Mrs Allen immediately recognized the features of a former schoolfellow and intimate whom she had seen only once since their respective marriages and that many years ago Their joy on this meeting was very great as well it might since they had been contented to know nothing of each other for the last fifteen years Compliments on good looks now passed and after observing how time had slipped away since they were last together how little they had thought of meeting in Bath and what a pleasure it was to see an old friend they proceeded to make inquiries and give intelligence as to their families sisters and cousins talking both together far more ready to give than to receive information and each hearing very little of what the other said Mrs Thorpe however had one great advantage as a talker over Mrs Allen in a family of children and when she expatiated on the talents of her sons and the beauty of her daughters when she related their different situations and views that John was at Oxford Edward at Merchant Taylors and William at sea and all of them more beloved and respected in their different station than any other three beings ever were Mrs Allen had no similar information to give no similar triumphs to press on the unwilling and unbelieving ear of her friend and was forced to sit and appear to listen to all these maternal effusions consoling herself however with the discovery which her keen eye soon made that the lace on Mrs Thorpe 's pelisse was not half so handsome as that on her own {para} Here come my dear girls cried Mrs Thorpe pointing at three smart looking females who arm in arm were then moving towards her My dear Mrs Allen I long to introduce them they will be so delighted to see you the tallest is Isabella my eldest is not she a fine young woman The others are very much admired too but I believe Isabella is the handsomest {para} The Miss Thorpes were introduced and Miss Morland who had been for a short time forgotten was introduced likewise The name seemed to strike them all and after speaking to her with great civility the eldest young lady observed aloud to the rest How excessively like her brother Miss Morland is {para} The very picture of him indeed cried the mother and I should have known her anywhere for his sister was repeated by them all two or three times over For a moment Catherine was surprised but Mrs Thorpe and her daughters had scarcely begun the history of their acquaintance with Mr James Morland before she remembered that her eldest brother had lately formed an intimacy with a young man of his own college of the name of Thorpe and that he had spent the last week of the Christmas vacation with his family near London {para} The whole being explained many obliging things were said by the Miss Thorpes of their wish of being better acquainted with her of being considered as already friends through the friendship of their brothers etc which Catherine heard with pleasure and answered with all the pretty expressions she could command and as the first proof of amity she was soon invited to accept an arm of the eldest Miss Thorpe and take a turn with her about the room Catherine was delighted with this extension of her Bath acquaintance and almost forgot Mr Tilney while she talked to Miss Thorpe Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love {para} Their conversation turned upon those subjects of which the free discussion has generally much to do in perfecting a sudden intimacy between two young ladies such as dress balls flirtations and quizzes Miss Thorpe however being four years older than Miss Morland and at least four years better informed had a very decided advantage in discussing such points she could compare the balls of Bath with those of Tunbridge its fashions with the fashions of London could rectify the opinions of her new friend in many articles of tasteful attire could discover a flirtation between any gentleman and lady who only smiled on each other and point out a quiz through the thickness of a crowd These powers received due admiration from Catherine to whom they were entirely new and the respect which they naturally inspired might have been too great for familiarity had not the easy gaiety of Miss Thorpe 's manners and her frequent expressions of delight on this acquaintance with her softened down every feeling of awe and left nothing but tender affection Their increasing attachment was not to be satisfied with half a dozen turns in the pump room but required when they all quitted it together that Miss Thorpe should accompany Miss Morland to the very door of Mr Allen 's house and that they should there part with a most affectionate and lengthened shake of hands after learning to their mutual relief that they should see each other across the theatre at night and say their prayers in the same chapel the next morning Catherine then ran directly upstairs and watched Miss Thorpe 's progress down the street from the drawing room window admired the graceful spirit of her walk the fashionable air of her figure and dress and felt grateful as well she might for the chance which had procured her such a friend {para} Mrs Thorpe was a widow and not a very rich one she was a good humoured well meaning woman and a very indulgent mother Her eldest daughter had great personal beauty and the younger ones by pretending to be as handsome as their sister imitating her air and dressing in the same style did very well {para} This brief account of the family is intended to supersede the necessity of a long and minute detail from Mrs Thorpe herself of her past adventures and sufferings which might otherwise be expected to occupy the three or four following chapters in which the worthlessness of lords and attornies might be set forth and conversations which had passed twenty years before be minutely repeated {para} CHAPTER 5 {para} Catherine was not so much engaged at the theatre that evening in returning the nods and smiles of Miss Thorpe though they certainly claimed much of her leisure as to forget to look with an inquiring eye for Mr Tilney in every box which her eye could reach but she looked in vain Mr Tilney was no fonder of the play than the pump room She hoped to be more fortunate the next day and when her wishes for fine weather were answered by seeing a beautiful morning she hardly felt a doubt of it for a fine Sunday in Bath empties every house of its inhabitants and all the world appears on such an occasion to walk about and tell their acquaintance what a charming day it is {para} As soon as divine service was over the Thorpes and Allens eagerly joined each other and after staying long enough in the pump room to discover that the crowd was insupportable and that there was not a genteel face to be seen which everybody discovers every Sunday throughout the season they hastened away to the Crescent to breathe the fresh air of better company Here Catherine and Isabella arm in arm again tasted the sweets of friendship in an unreserved conversation they talked much and with much enjoyment but again was Catherine disappointed in her hope of reseeing her partner He was nowhere to be met with every search for him was equally unsuccessful in morning lounges or evening assemblies neither at the upper nor lower rooms at dressed or undressed balls was he perceivable nor among the walkers the horsemen or the curricle drivers of the morning His name was not in the pump room book and curiosity could do no more He must be gone from Bath Yet he had not mentioned that his stay would be so short This sort of mysteriousness which is always so becoming in a hero threw a fresh grace in Catherine 's imagination around his person and manners and increased her anxiety to know more of him From the Thorpes she could learn nothing for they had been only two days in Bath before they met with Mrs Allen It was a subject however in which she often indulged with her fair friend from whom she received every possible encouragement to continue to think of him and his impression on her fancy was not suffered therefore to weaken Isabella was very sure that he must be a charming young man and was equally sure that he must have been delighted with her dear Catherine and would therefore shortly return She liked him the better for being a clergyman for she must confess herself very partial to the profession and something like a sigh escaped her as she said it Perhaps Catherine was wrong in not demanding the cause of that gentle emotion but she was not experienced enough in the finesse of love or the duties of friendship to know when delicate raillery was properly called for or when a confidence should be forced {para} Mrs Allen was now quite happy quite satisfied with Bath She had found some acquaintance had been so lucky too as to find in them the family of a most worthy old friend and as the completion of good fortune had found these friends by no means so expensively dressed as herself Her daily expressions were no longer I wish we had some acquaintance in Bath They were changed into How glad I am we have met with Mrs Thorpe and she was as eager in promoting the intercourse of the two families as her young charge and Isabella themselves could be never satisfied with the day unless she spent the chief of it by the side of Mrs Thorpe in what they called conversation but in which there was scarcely ever any exchange of opinion and not often any resemblance of subject for Mrs Thorpe talked chiefly of her children and Mrs Allen of her gowns {para} The progress of the friendship between Catherine and Isabella was quick as its beginning had been warm and they passed so rapidly through every gradation of increasing tenderness that there was shortly no fresh proof of it to be given to their friends or themselves They called each other by their Christian name were always arm in arm when they walked pinned up each other 's train for the dance and were not to be divided in the set and if a rainy morning deprived them of other enjoyments they were still resolute in meeting in defiance of wet and dirt and shut themselves up to read novels together Yes novels for I will not adopt that ungenerous and impolitic custom so common with novel writers of degrading by their contemptuous censure the very performances to the number of which they are themselves adding joining with their greatest enemies in bestowing the harshest epithets on such works and scarcely ever permitting them to be read by their own heroine who if she accidentally take up a novel is sure to turn over its insipid pages with disgust Alas If the heroine of one novel be not patronized by the heroine of another from whom can she expect protection and regard I cannot approve of it Let us leave it to the reviewers to abuse such effusions of fancy at their leisure and over every new novel to talk in threadbare strains of the trash with which the press now groans Let us not desert one another we are an injured body Although our productions have afforded more extensive and unaffected pleasure than those of any other literary corporation in the world no species of composition has been so much decried From pride ignorance or fashion our foes are almost as many as our readers And while the abilities of the nine hundredth abridger of the History of England or of the man who collects and publishes in a volume some dozen lines of Milton Pope and Prior with a paper from the Spectator and a chapter from Sterne are eulogized by a thousand pens there seems almost a general wish of decrying the capacity and undervaluing the labour of the novelist and of slighting the performances which have only genius wit and taste to recommend them I am no novel reader I seldom look into novels Do not imagine that I often read novels It is really very well for a novel Such is the common cant And what are you reading Miss Oh It is only a novel replies the young lady while she lays down her book with affected indifference or momentary shame It is only Cecilia or Camilla or Belinda or in short only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature the happiest delineation of its varieties the liveliest effusions of wit and humour are conveyed to the world in the best chosen language Now had the same young lady been engaged with a volume of the Spectator instead of such a work how proudly would she have produced the book and told its name though the chances must be against her being occupied by any part of that voluminous publication of which either the matter or manner would not disgust a young person of taste the substance of its papers so often consisting in the statement of improbable circumstances unnatural characters and topics of conversation which no longer concern anyone living and their language too frequently so coarse as to give no very favourable idea of the age that could endure it {para} CHAPTER 6 {para} The following conversation which took place between the two friends in the pump room one morning after an acquaintance of eight or nine days is given as a specimen of their very warm attachment and of the delicacy discretion originality of thought and literary taste which marked the reasonableness of that attachment {para} They met by appointment and as Isabella had arrived nearly five minutes before her friend her first address naturally was My dearest creature what can have made you so late I have been waiting for you at least this age {para} Have you indeed I am very sorry for it but really I thought I was in very good time It is but just one I hope you have not been here long {para} Oh These ten ages at least I am sure I have been here this half hour But now let us go and sit down at the other end of the room and enjoy ourselves I have an hundred things to say to you In the first place I was so afraid it would rain this morning just as I wanted to set off it looked very showery and that would have thrown me into agonies Do you know I saw the prettiest hat you can imagine in a shop window in Milsom Street just now very like yours only with coquelicot ribbons instead of green I quite longed for it But my dearest Catherine what have you been doing with yourself all this morning Have you gone on with Udolpho {para} Yes I have been reading it ever since I woke and I am got to the black veil {para} Are you indeed How delightful Oh I would not tell you what is behind the black veil for the world Are not you wild to know {para} Oh Yes quite what can it be But do not tell me I would not be told upon any account I know it must be a skeleton I am sure it is Laurentina 's skeleton Oh I am delighted with the book I should like to spend my whole life in reading it I assure you if it had not been to meet you I would not have come away from it for all the world {para} Dear creature How much I am obliged to you and when you have finished Udolpho we will read the Italian together and I have made out a list of ten or twelve more of the same kind for you {para} Have you indeed How glad I am What are they all {para} I will read you their names directly here they are in my pocketbook Castle of Wolfenbach Clermont Mysterious Warnings Necromancer of the Black Forest Midnight Bell Orphan of the Rhine and Horrid Mysteries Those will last us some time {para} Yes pretty well but are they all horrid are you sure they are all horrid {para} Yes quite sure for a particular friend of mine a Miss Andrews a sweet girl one of the sweetest creatures in the world has read every one of them I wish you knew Miss Andrews you would be delighted with her She is netting herself the sweetest cloak you can conceive I think her as beautiful as an angel and I am so vexed with the men for not admiring her I scold them all amazingly about it {para} Scold them Do you scold them for not admiring her {para} Yes that I do There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends I have no notion of loving people by halves it is not my nature My attachments are always excessively strong I told Captain Hunt at one of our assemblies this winter that if he was to tease me all night I would not dance with him unless he would allow Miss Andrews to be as beautiful as an angel The men think us incapable of real friendship you know and I am determined to show them the difference Now if I were to hear anybody speak slightingly of you I should fire up in a moment but that is not at all likely for you are just the kind of girl to be a great favourite with the men {para} Oh dear cried Catherine colouring How can you say so {para} I know you very well you have so much animation which is exactly what Miss Andrews wants for I must confess there is something amazingly insipid about her Oh I must tell you that just after we parted yesterday I saw a young man looking at you so earnestly I am sure he is in love with you Catherine coloured and disclaimed again Isabella laughed It is very true upon my honour but I see how it is you are indifferent to everybody 's admiration except that of one gentleman who shall be nameless Nay I cannot blame you speaking more seriously your feelings are easily understood Where the heart is really attached I know very well how little one can be pleased with the attention of anybody else Everything is so insipid so uninteresting that does not relate to the beloved object I can perfectly comprehend your feelings {para} But you should not persuade me that I think so very much about Mr Tilney for perhaps I may never see him again {para} Not see him again My dearest creature do not talk of it I am sure you would be miserable if you thought so {para} No indeed I should not I do not pretend to say that I was not very much pleased with him but while I have Udolpho to read I feel as if nobody could make me miserable Oh The dreadful black veil My dear Isabella I am sure there must be Laurentina 's skeleton behind it {para} It is so odd to me that you should never have read Udolpho before but I suppose Mrs Morland objects to novels {para} No she does not She very often reads Sir Charles Grandison herself but new books do not fall in our way {para} Sir Charles Grandison That is an amazing horrid book is it not I remember Miss Andrews could not get through the first volume {para} It is not like Udolpho at all but yet I think it is very entertaining {para} Do you indeed You surprise me I thought it had not been readable But my dearest Catherine have you settled what to wear on your head tonight I am determined at all events to be dressed exactly like you The men take notice of that sometimes you know {para} But it does not signify if they do said Catherine very innocently {para} Signify Oh heavens I make it a rule never to mind what they say They are very often amazingly impertinent if you do not treat them with spirit and make them keep their distance {para} Are they Well I never observed that They always behave very well to me {para} Oh They give themselves such airs They are the most conceited creatures in the world and think themselves of so much importance By the by though I have thought of it a hundred times I have always forgot to ask you what is your favourite complexion in a man Do you like them best dark or fair {para} I hardly know I never much thought about it Something between both I think Brown not fair and and not very dark {para} Very well Catherine That is exactly he I have not forgot your description of Mr Tilney a brown skin with dark eyes and rather dark hair Well my taste is different I prefer light eyes and as to complexion do you know I like a sallow better than any other You must not betray me if you should ever meet with one of your acquaintance answering that description {para} Betray you What do you mean {para} Nay do not distress me I believe I have said too much Let us drop the subject {para} Catherine in some amazement complied and after remaining a few moments silent was on the point of reverting to what interested her at that time rather more than anything else in the world Laurentina 's skeleton when her friend prevented her by saying For heaven 's sake Let us move away from this end of the room Do you know there are two odious young men who have been staring at me this half hour They really put me quite out of countenance Let us go and look at the arrivals They will hardly follow us there {para} Away they walked to the book and while Isabella examined the names it was Catherine 's employment to watch the proceedings of these alarming young men {para} They are not coming this way are they I hope they are not so impertinent as to follow us Pray let me know if they are coming I am determined I will not look up {para} In a few moments Catherine with unaffected pleasure assured her that she need not be longer uneasy as the gentlemen had just left the pump room {para} And which way are they gone said Isabella turning hastily round One was a very good looking young man {para} They went towards the church yard {para} Well I am amazingly glad I have got rid of them And now what say you to going to Edgar 's Buildings with me and looking at my new hat You said you should like to see it {para} Catherine readily agreed Only she added perhaps we may overtake the two young men {para} Oh Never mind that If we make haste we shall pass by them presently and I am dying to show you my hat {para} But if we only wait a few minutes there will be no danger of our seeing them at all {para} I shall not pay them any such compliment I assure you I have no notion of treating men with such respect That is the way to spoil them {para} Catherine had nothing to oppose against such reasoning and therefore to show the independence of Miss Thorpe and her resolution of humbling the sex they set off immediately as fast as they could walk in pursuit of the two young men {para} CHAPTER 7 {para} Half a minute conducted them through the pump yard to the archway opposite Union Passage but here they were stopped Everybody acquainted with Bath may remember the difficulties of crossing Cheap Street at this point it is indeed a street of so impertinent a nature so unfortunately connected with the great London and Oxford roads and the principal inn of the city that a day never passes in which parties of ladies however important their business whether in quest of pastry millinery or even as in the present case of young men are not detained on one side or other by carriages horsemen or carts This evil had been felt and lamented at least three times a day by Isabella since her residence in Bath and she was now fated to feel and lament it once more for at the very moment of coming opposite to Union Passage and within view of the two gentlemen who were proceeding through the crowds and threading the gutters of that interesting alley they were prevented crossing by the approach of a gig driven along on bad pavement by a most knowing looking coachman with all the vehemence that could most fitly endanger the lives of himself his companion and his horse {para} Oh these odious gigs said Isabella looking up How I detest them But this detestation though so just was of short duration for she looked again and exclaimed Delightful Mr Morland and my brother {para} Good heaven Tis James was uttered at the same moment by Catherine and on catching the young men 's eyes the horse was immediately checked with a violence which almost threw him on his haunches and the servant having now scampered up the gentlemen jumped out and the equipage was delivered to his care {para} Catherine by whom this meeting was wholly unexpected received her brother with the liveliest pleasure and he being of a very amiable disposition and sincerely attached to her gave every proof on his side of equal satisfaction which he could have leisure to do while the bright eyes of Miss Thorpe were incessantly challenging his notice and to her his devoirs were speedily paid with a mixture of joy and embarrassment which might have informed Catherine had she been more expert in the development of other people 's feelings and less simply engrossed by her own that her brother thought her friend quite as pretty as she could do herself {para} John Thorpe who in the meantime had been giving orders about the horses soon joined them and from him she directly received the amends which were her due for while he slightly and carelessly touched the hand of Isabella on her he bestowed a whole scrape and half a short bow He was a stout young man of middling height who with a plain face and ungraceful form seemed fearful of being too handsome unless he wore the dress of a groom and too much like a gentleman unless he were easy where he ought to be civil and impudent where he might be allowed to be easy He took out his watch How long do you think we have been running it from Tetbury Miss Morland {para} I do not know the distance Her brother told her that it was twenty three miles {para} Three and twenty cried Thorpe Five and twenty if it is an inch Morland remonstrated pleaded the authority of road books innkeepers and milestones but his friend disregarded them all he had a surer test of distance I know it must be five and twenty said he by the time we have been doing it It is now half after one we drove out of the inn yard at Tetbury as the town clock struck eleven and I defy any man in England to make my horse go less than ten miles an hour in harness that makes it exactly twenty five {para} You have lost an hour said Morland it was only ten o'clock when we came from Tetbury {para} Ten o'clock It was eleven upon my soul I counted every stroke This brother of yours would persuade me out of my senses Miss Morland do but look at my horse did you ever see an animal so made for speed in your life The servant had just mounted the carriage and was driving off Such true blood Three hours and and a half indeed coming only three and twenty miles Look at that creature and suppose it possible if you can {para} He does look very hot to be sure {para} Hot He had not turned a hair till we came to Walcot Church but look at his forehand look at his loins only see how he moves that horse cannot go less than ten miles an hour tie his legs and he will get on What do you think of my gig Miss Morland A neat one is not it Well hung town built I have not had it a month It was built for a Christchurch man a friend of mine a very good sort of fellow he ran it a few weeks till I believe it was convenient to have done with it I happened just then to be looking out for some light thing of the kind though I had pretty well determined on a curricle too but I chanced to meet him on Magdalen Bridge as he was driving into Oxford last term Ah Thorpe said he do you happen to want such a little thing as this It is a capital one of the kind but I am cursed tired of it Oh D said I I am your man what do you ask And how much do you think he did Miss Morland {para} I am sure I cannot guess at all {para} Curricle hung you see seat trunk sword case splashing board lamps silver moulding all you see complete the iron work as good as new or better He asked fifty guineas I closed with him directly threw down the money and the carriage was mine {para} And I am sure said Catherine I know so little of such things that I cannot judge whether it was cheap or dear {para} Neither one nor t'other I might have got it for less I dare say but I hate haggling and poor Freeman wanted cash {para} That was very good natured of you said Catherine quite pleased {para} Oh D it when one has the means of doing a kind thing by a friend I hate to be pitiful {para} An inquiry now took place into the intended movements of the young ladies and on finding whither they were going it was decided that the gentlemen should accompany them to Edgar 's Buildings and pay their respects to Mrs Thorpe James and Isabella led the way and so well satisfied was the latter with her lot so contentedly was she endeavouring to ensure a pleasant walk to him who brought the double recommendation of being her brother 's friend and her friend 's brother so pure and uncoquettish were her feelings that though they overtook and passed the two offending young men in Milsom Street she was so far from seeking to attract their notice that she looked back at them only three times {para} John Thorpe kept of course with Catherine and after a few minutes silence renewed the conversation about his gig You will find however Miss Morland it would be reckoned a cheap thing by some people for I might have sold it for ten guineas more the next day Jackson of Oriel bid me sixty at once Morland was with me at the time {para} Yes said Morland who overheard this but you forget that your horse was included {para} My horse Oh d it I would not sell my horse for a hundred Are you fond of an open carriage Miss Morland {para} Yes very I have hardly ever an opportunity of being in one but I am particularly fond of it {para} I am glad of it I will drive you out in mine every day {para} Thank you said Catherine in some distress from a doubt of the propriety of accepting such an offer {para} I will drive you up Lansdown Hill tomorrow {para} Thank you but will not your horse want rest {para} Rest He has only come three and twenty miles today all nonsense nothing ruins horses so much as rest nothing knocks them up so soon No no I shall exercise mine at the average of four hours every day while I am here {para} Shall you indeed said Catherine very seriously That will be forty miles a day {para} Forty Aye fifty for what I care Well I will drive you up Lansdown tomorrow mind I am engaged {para} How delightful that will be cried Isabella turning round My dearest Catherine I quite envy you but I am afraid brother you will not have room for a third {para} A third indeed No no I did not come to Bath to drive my sisters about that would be a good joke faith Morland must take care of you {para} This brought on a dialogue of civilities between the other two but Catherine heard neither the particulars nor the result Her companion 's discourse now sunk from its hitherto animated pitch to nothing more than a short decisive sentence of praise or condemnation on the face of every woman they met and Catherine after listening and agreeing as long as she could with all the civility and deference of the youthful female mind fearful of hazarding an opinion of its own in opposition to that of a self assured man especially where the beauty of her own sex is concerned ventured at length to vary the subject by a question which had been long uppermost in her thoughts it was Have you ever read Udolpho Mr Thorpe {para} Udolpho Oh Lord Not I I never read novels I have something else to do {para} Catherine humbled and ashamed was going to apologize for her question but he prevented her by saying Novels are all so full of nonsense and stuff there has not been a tolerably decent one come out since Tom Jones except The Monk I read that t'other day but as for all the others they are the stupidest things in creation {para} I think you must like Udolpho if you were to read it it is so very interesting {para} Not I faith No if I read any it shall be Mrs Radcliffe 's her novels are amusing enough they are worth reading some fun and nature in them {para} Udolpho was written by Mrs Radcliffe said Catherine with some hesitation from the fear of mortifying him {para} No sure was it Aye I remember so it was I was thinking of that other stupid book written by that woman they make such a fuss about she who married the French emigrant {para} I suppose you mean Camilla {para} Yes that 's the book such unnatural stuff An old man playing at see saw I took up the first volume once and looked it over but I soon found it would not do indeed I guessed what sort of stuff it must be before I saw it as soon as I heard she had married an emigrant I was sure I should never be able to get through it {para} I have never read it {para} You had no loss I assure you it is the horridest nonsense you can imagine there is nothing in the world in it but an old man 's playing at see saw and learning Latin upon my soul there is not {para} This critique the justness of which was unfortunately lost on poor Catherine brought them to the door of Mrs Thorpe 's lodgings and the feelings of the discerning and unprejudiced reader of Camilla gave way to the feelings of the dutiful and affectionate son as they met Mrs Thorpe who had descried them from above in the passage Ah Mother How do you do said he giving her a hearty shake of the hand Where did you get that quiz of a hat It makes you look like an old witch Here is Morland and I come to stay a few days with you so you must look out for a couple of good beds somewhere near And this address seemed to satisfy all the fondest wishes of the mother 's heart for she received him with the most delighted and exulting affection On his two younger sisters he then bestowed an equal portion of his fraternal tenderness for he asked each of them how they did and observed that they both looked very ugly {para} These manners did not please Catherine but he was James 's friend and Isabella 's brother and her judgment was further bought off by Isabella 's assuring her when they withdrew to see the new hat that John thought her the most charming girl in the world and by John 's engaging her before they parted to dance with him that evening Had she been older or vainer such attacks might have done little but where youth and diffidence are united it requires uncommon steadiness of reason to resist the attraction of being called the most charming girl in the world and of being so very early engaged as a partner and the consequence was that when the two Morlands after sitting an hour with the Thorpes set off to walk together to Mr Allen 's and James as the door was closed on them said Well Catherine how do you like my friend Thorpe instead of answering as she probably would have done had there been no friendship and no flattery in the case I do not like him at all she directly replied I like him very much he seems very agreeable {para} He is as good natured a fellow as ever lived a little of a rattle but that will recommend him to your sex I believe and how do you like the rest of the family {para} Very very much indeed Isabella particularly {para} I am very glad to hear you say so she is just the kind of young woman I could wish to see you attached to she has so much good sense and is so thoroughly unaffected and amiable I always wanted you to know her and she seems very fond of you She said the highest things in your praise that could possibly be and the praise of such a girl as Miss Thorpe even you Catherine taking her hand with affection may be proud of {para} Indeed I am she replied I love her exceedingly and am delighted to find that you like her too You hardly mentioned anything of her when you wrote to me after your visit there {para} Because I thought I should soon see you myself I hope you will be a great deal together while you are in Bath She is a most amiable girl such a superior understanding How fond all the family are of her she is evidently the general favourite and how much she must be admired in such a place as this is not she {para} Yes very much indeed I fancy Mr Allen thinks her the prettiest girl in Bath {para} I dare say he does and I do not know any man who is a better judge of beauty than Mr Allen I need not ask you whether you are happy here my dear Catherine with such a companion and friend as Isabella Thorpe it would be impossible for you to be otherwise and the Allens I am sure are very kind to you {para} Yes very kind I never was so happy before and now you are come it will be more delightful than ever how good it is of you to come so far on purpose to see me {para} James accepted this tribute of gratitude and qualified his conscience for accepting it too by saying with perfect sincerity Indeed Catherine I love you dearly {para} Inquiries and communications concerning brothers and sisters the situation of some the growth of the rest and other family matters now passed between them and continued with only one small digression on James 's part in praise of Miss Thorpe till they reached Pulteney Street where he was welcomed with great kindness by Mr and Mrs Allen invited by the former to dine with them and summoned by the latter to guess the price and weigh the merits of a new muff and tippet A pre engagement in Edgar 's Buildings prevented his accepting the invitation of one friend and obliged him to hurry away as soon as he had satisfied the demands of the other The time of the two parties uniting in the Octagon Room being correctly adjusted Catherine was then left to the luxury of a raised restless and frightened imagination over the pages of Udolpho lost from all worldly concerns of dressing and dinner incapable of soothing Mrs Allen 's fears on the delay of an expected dressmaker and having only one minute in sixty to bestow even on the reflection of her own felicity in being already engaged for the evening {para} CHAPTER 8 {para} In spite of Udolpho and the dressmaker however the party from Pulteney Street reached the Upper Rooms in very good time The Thorpes and James Morland were there only two minutes before them and Isabella having gone through the usual ceremonial of meeting her friend with the most smiling and affectionate haste of admiring the set of her gown and envying the curl of her hair they followed their chaperones arm in arm into the ballroom whispering to each other whenever a thought occurred and supplying the place of many ideas by a squeeze of the hand or a smile of affection {para} The dancing began within a few minutes after they were seated and James who had been engaged quite as long as his sister was very importunate with Isabella to stand up but John was gone into the card room to speak to a friend and nothing she declared should induce her to join the set before her dear Catherine could join it too I assure you said she I would not stand up without your dear sister for all the world for if I did we should certainly be separated the whole evening Catherine accepted this kindness with gratitude and they continued as they were for three minutes longer when Isabella who had been talking to James on the other side of her turned again to his sister and whispered My dear creature I am afraid I must leave you your brother is so amazingly impatient to begin I know you will not mind my going away and I dare say John will be back in a moment and then you may easily find me out Catherine though a little disappointed had too much good nature to make any opposition and the others rising up Isabella had only time to press her friend 's hand and say Good bye my dear love before they hurried off The younger Miss Thorpes being also dancing Catherine was left to the mercy of Mrs Thorpe and Mrs Allen between whom she now remained She could not help being vexed at the non appearance of Mr Thorpe for she not only longed to be dancing but was likewise aware that as the real dignity of her situation could not be known she was sharing with the scores of other young ladies still sitting down all the discredit of wanting a partner To be disgraced in the eye of the world to wear the appearance of infamy while her heart is all purity her actions all innocence and the misconduct of another the true source of her debasement is one of those circumstances which peculiarly belong to the heroine 's life and her fortitude under it what particularly dignifies her character Catherine had fortitude too she suffered but no murmur passed her lips {para} From this state of humiliation she was roused at the end of ten minutes to a pleasanter feeling by seeing not Mr Thorpe but Mr Tilney within three yards of the place where they sat he seemed to be moving that way but be did not see her and therefore the smile and the blush which his sudden reappearance raised in Catherine passed away without sullying her heroic importance He looked as handsome and as lively as ever and was talking with interest to a fashionable and pleasing looking young woman who leant on his arm and whom Catherine immediately guessed to be his sister thus unthinkingly throwing away a fair opportunity of considering him lost to her forever by being married already But guided only by what was simple and probable it had never entered her head that Mr Tilney could be married he had not behaved he had not talked like the married men to whom she had been used he had never mentioned a wife and he had acknowledged a sister From these circumstances sprang the instant conclusion of his sister 's now being by his side and therefore instead of turning of a deathlike paleness and falling in a fit on Mrs Allen 's bosom Catherine sat erect in the perfect use of her senses and with cheeks only a little redder than usual {para} Mr Tilney and his companion who continued though slowly to approach were immediately preceded by a lady an acquaintance of Mrs Thorpe and this lady stopping to speak to her they as belonging to her stopped likewise and Catherine catching Mr Tilney 's eye instantly received from him the smiling tribute of recognition She returned it with pleasure and then advancing still nearer he spoke both to her and Mrs Allen by whom he was very civilly acknowledged I am very happy to see you again sir indeed I was afraid you had left Bath He thanked her for her fears and said that he had quitted it for a week on the very morning after his having had the pleasure of seeing her {para} Well sir and I dare say you are not sorry to be back again for it is just the place for young people and indeed for everybody else too I tell Mr Allen when he talks of being sick of it that I am sure he should not complain for it is so very agreeable a place that it is much better to be here than at home at this dull time of year I tell him he is quite in luck to be sent here for his health {para} And I hope madam that Mr Allen will be obliged to like the place from finding it of service to him {para} Thank you sir I have no doubt that he will A neighbour of ours Dr Skinner was here for his health last winter and came away quite stout {para} That circumstance must give great encouragement {para} Yes sir and Dr Skinner and his family were here three months so I tell Mr Allen he must not be in a hurry to get away {para} Here they were interrupted by a request from Mrs Thorpe to Mrs Allen that she would move a little to accommodate Mrs Hughes and Miss Tilney with seats as they had agreed to join their party This was accordingly done Mr Tilney still continuing standing before them and after a few minutes consideration he asked Catherine to dance with him This compliment delightful as it was produced severe mortification to the lady and in giving her denial she expressed her sorrow on the occasion so very much as if she really felt it that had Thorpe who joined her just afterwards been half a minute earlier he might have thought her sufferings rather too acute The very easy manner in which he then told her that he had kept her waiting did not by any means reconcile her more to her lot nor did the particulars which he entered into while they were standing up of the horses and dogs of the friend whom he had just left and of a proposed exchange of terriers between them interest her so much as to prevent her looking very often towards that part of the room where she had left Mr Tilney Of her dear Isabella to whom she particularly longed to point out that gentleman she could see nothing They were in different sets She was separated from all her party and away from all her acquaintance one mortification succeeded another and from the whole she deduced this useful lesson that to go previously engaged to a ball does not necessarily increase either the dignity or enjoyment of a young lady From such a moralizing strain as this she was suddenly roused by a touch on the shoulder and turning round perceived Mrs Hughes directly behind her attended by Miss Tilney and a gentleman I beg your pardon Miss Morland said she for this liberty but I cannot anyhow get to Miss Thorpe and Mrs Thorpe said she was sure you would not have the least objection to letting in this young lady by you Mrs Hughes could not have applied to any creature in the room more happy to oblige her than Catherine The young ladies were introduced to each other Miss Tilney expressing a proper sense of such goodness Miss Morland with the real delicacy of a generous mind making light of the obligation and Mrs Hughes satisfied with having so respectably settled her young charge returned to her party {para} Miss Tilney had a good figure a pretty face and a very agreeable countenance and her air though it had not all the decided pretension the resolute stylishness of Miss Thorpe 's had more real elegance Her manners showed good sense and good breeding they were neither shy nor affectedly open and she seemed capable of being young attractive and at a ball without wanting to fix the attention of every man near her and without exaggerated feelings of ecstatic delight or inconceivable vexation on every little trifling occurrence Catherine interested at once by her appearance and her relationship to Mr Tilney was desirous of being acquainted with her and readily talked therefore whenever she could think of anything to say and had courage and leisure for saying it But the hindrance thrown in the way of a very speedy intimacy by the frequent want of one or more of these requisites prevented their doing more than going through the first rudiments of an acquaintance by informing themselves how well the other liked Bath how much she admired its buildings and surrounding country whether she drew or played or sang and whether she was fond of riding on horseback {para} The two dances were scarcely concluded before Catherine found her arm gently seized by her faithful Isabella who in great spirits exclaimed At last I have got you My dearest creature I have been looking for you this hour What could induce you to come into this set when you knew I was in the other I have been quite wretched without you {para} My dear Isabella how was it possible for me to get at you I could not even see where you were {para} So I told your brother all the time but he would not believe me Do go and see for her Mr Morland said I but all in vain he would not stir an inch Was not it so Mr Morland But you men are all so immoderately lazy I have been scolding him to such a degree my dear Catherine you would be quite amazed You know I never stand upon ceremony with such people {para} Look at that young lady with the white beads round her head whispered Catherine detaching her friend from James It is Mr Tilney 's sister {para} Oh Heavens You don't say so Let me look at her this moment What a delightful girl I never saw anything half so beautiful But where is her all conquering brother Is he in the room Point him out to me this instant if he is I die to see him Mr Morland you are not to listen We are not talking about you {para} But what is all this whispering about What is going on {para} There now I knew how it would be You men have such restless curiosity Talk of the curiosity of women indeed Tis nothing But be satisfied for you are not to know anything at all of the matter {para} And is that likely to satisfy me do you think {para} Well I declare I never knew anything like you What can it signify to you what we are talking of Perhaps we are talking about you therefore I would advise you not to listen or you may happen to hear something not very agreeable {para} In this commonplace chatter which lasted some time the original subject seemed entirely forgotten and though Catherine was very well pleased to have it dropped for a while she could not avoid a little suspicion at the total suspension of all Isabella 's impatient desire to see Mr Tilney When the orchestra struck up a fresh dance James would have led his fair partner away but she resisted I tell you Mr Morland she cried I would not do such a thing for all the world How can you be so teasing only conceive my dear Catherine what your brother wants me to do He wants me to dance with him again though I tell him that it is a most improper thing and entirely against the rules It would make us the talk of the place if we were not to change partners {para} Upon my honour said James in these public assemblies it is as often done as not {para} Nonsense how can you say so But when you men have a point to carry you never stick at anything My sweet Catherine do support me persuade your brother how impossible it is Tell him that it would quite shock you to see me do such a thing now would not it {para} No not at all but if you think it wrong you had much better change {para} There cried Isabella you hear what your sister says and yet you will not mind her Well remember that it is not my fault if we set all the old ladies in Bath in a bustle Come along my dearest Catherine for heaven 's sake and stand by me And off they went to regain their former place John Thorpe in the meanwhile had walked away and Catherine ever willing to give Mr Tilney an opportunity of repeating the agreeable request which had already flattered her once made her way to Mrs Allen and Mrs Thorpe as fast as she could in the hope of finding him still with them a hope which when it proved to be fruitless she felt to have been highly unreasonable Well my dear said Mrs Thorpe impatient for praise of her son I hope you have had an agreeable partner {para} Very agreeable madam {para} I am glad of it John has charming spirits has not he {para} Did you meet Mr Tilney my dear said Mrs Allen {para} No where is he {para} He was with us just now and said he was so tired of lounging about that he was resolved to go and dance so I thought perhaps he would ask you if he met with you {para} Where can he be said Catherine looking round but she had not looked round long before she saw him leading a young lady to the dance {para} Ah He has got a partner I wish he had asked you said Mrs Allen and after a short silence she added he is a very agreeable young man {para} Indeed he is Mrs Allen said Mrs Thorpe smiling complacently I must say it though I am his mother that there is not a more agreeable young man in the world {para} This inapplicable answer might have been too much for the comprehension of many but it did not puzzle Mrs Allen for after only a moment 's consideration she said in a whisper to Catherine I dare say she thought I was speaking of her son {para} Catherine was disappointed and vexed She seemed to have missed by so little the very object she had had in view and this persuasion did not incline her to a very gracious reply when John Thorpe came up to her soon afterwards and said Well Miss Morland I suppose you and I are to stand up and jig it together again {para} Oh no I am much obliged to you our two dances are over and besides I am tired and do not mean to dance any more {para} Do not you Then let us walk about and quiz people Come along with me and I will show you the four greatest quizzers in the room my two younger sisters and their partners I have been laughing at them this half hour {para} Again Catherine excused herself and at last he walked off to quiz his sisters by himself The rest of the evening she found very dull Mr Tilney was drawn away from their party at tea to attend that of his partner Miss Tilney though belonging to it did not sit near her and James and Isabella were so much engaged in conversing together that the latter had no leisure to bestow more on her friend than one smile one squeeze and one dearest Catherine {para} CHAPTER 9 {para} The progress of Catherine 's unhappiness from the events of the evening was as follows It appeared first in a general dissatisfaction with everybody about her while she remained in the rooms which speedily brought on considerable weariness and a violent desire to go home This on arriving in Pulteney Street took the direction of extraordinary hunger and when that was appeased changed into an earnest longing to be in bed such was the extreme point of her distress for when there she immediately fell into a sound sleep which lasted nine hours and from which she awoke perfectly revived in excellent spirits with fresh hopes and fresh schemes The first wish of her heart was to improve her acquaintance with Miss Tilney and almost her first resolution to seek her for that purpose in the pump room at noon In the pump room one so newly arrived in Bath must be met with and that building she had already found so favourable for the discovery of female excellence and the completion of female intimacy so admirably adapted for secret discourses and unlimited confidence that she was most reasonably encouraged to expect another friend from within its walls Her plan for the morning thus settled she sat quietly down to her book after breakfast resolving to remain in the same place and the same employment till the clock struck one and from habitude very little incommoded by the remarks and ejaculations of Mrs Allen whose vacancy of mind and incapacity for thinking were such that as she never talked a great deal so she could never be entirely silent and therefore while she sat at her work if she lost her needle or broke her thread if she heard a carriage in the street or saw a speck upon her gown she must observe it aloud whether there were anyone at leisure to answer her or not At about half past twelve a remarkably loud rap drew her in haste to the window and scarcely had she time to inform Catherine of there being two open carriages at the door in the first only a servant her brother driving Miss Thorpe in the second before John Thorpe came running upstairs calling out Well Miss Morland here I am Have you been waiting long We could not come before the old devil of a coachmaker was such an eternity finding out a thing fit to be got into and now it is ten thousand to one but they break down before we are out of the street How do you do Mrs Allen A famous bag last night was not it Come Miss Morland be quick for the others are in a confounded hurry to be off They want to get their tumble over {para} What do you mean said Catherine Where are you all going to Going to Why you have not forgot our engagement Did not we agree together to take a drive this morning What a head you have We are going up Claverton Down {para} Something was said about it I remember said Catherine looking at Mrs Allen for her opinion but really I did not expect you {para} Not expect me That 's a good one And what a dust you would have made if I had not come {para} Catherine 's silent appeal to her friend meanwhile was entirely thrown away for Mrs Allen not being at all in the habit of conveying any expression herself by a look was not aware of its being ever intended by anybody else and Catherine whose desire of seeing Miss Tilney again could at that moment bear a short delay in favour of a drive and who thought there could be no impropriety in her going with Mr Thorpe as Isabella was going at the same time with James was therefore obliged to speak plainer Well ma'am what do you say to it Can you spare me for an hour or two Shall I go {para} Do just as you please my dear replied Mrs Allen with the most placid indifference Catherine took the advice and ran off to get ready In a very few minutes she reappeared having scarcely allowed the two others time enough to get through a few short sentences in her praise after Thorpe had procured Mrs Allen 's admiration of his gig and then receiving her friend 's parting good wishes they both hurried downstairs My dearest creature cried Isabella to whom the duty of friendship immediately called her before she could get into the carriage you have been at least three hours getting ready I was afraid you were ill What a delightful ball we had last night I have a thousand things to say to you but make haste and get in for I long to be off {para} Catherine followed her orders and turned away but not too soon to hear her friend exclaim aloud to James What a sweet girl she is I quite dote on her {para} You will not be frightened Miss Morland said Thorpe as he handed her in if my horse should dance about a little at first setting off He will most likely give a plunge or two and perhaps take the rest for a minute but he will soon know his master He is full of spirits playful as can be but there is no vice in him {para} Catherine did not think the portrait a very inviting one but it was too late to retreat and she was too young to own herself frightened so resigning herself to her fate and trusting to the animal 's boasted knowledge of its owner she sat peaceably down and saw Thorpe sit down by her Everything being then arranged the servant who stood at the horse 's head was bid in an important voice to let him go and off they went in the quietest manner imaginable without a plunge or a caper or anything like one Catherine delighted at so happy an escape spoke her pleasure aloud with grateful surprise and her companion immediately made the matter perfectly simple by assuring her that it was entirely owing to the peculiarly judicious manner in which he had then held the reins and the singular discernment and dexterity with which he had directed his whip Catherine though she could not help wondering that with such perfect command of his horse he should think it necessary to alarm her with a relation of its tricks congratulated herself sincerely on being under the care of so excellent a coachman and perceiving that the animal continued to go on in the same quiet manner without showing the smallest propensity towards any unpleasant vivacity and considering its inevitable pace was ten miles an hour by no means alarmingly fast gave herself up to all the enjoyment of air and exercise of the most invigorating kind in a fine mild day of February with the consciousness of safety A silence of several minutes succeeded their first short dialogue it was broken by Thorpe 's saying very abruptly Old Allen is as rich as a Jew is not he Catherine did not understand him and he repeated his question adding in explanation Old Allen the man you are with {para} Oh Mr Allen you mean Yes I believe he is very rich {para} And no children at all {para} No not any {para} A famous thing for his next heirs He is your godfather is not he {para} My godfather No {para} But you are always very much with them {para} Yes very much {para} Aye that is what I meant He seems a good kind of old fellow enough and has lived very well in his time I dare say he is not gouty for nothing Does he drink his bottle a day now {para} His bottle a day No Why should you think of such a thing He is a very temperate man and you could not fancy him in liquor last night {para} Lord help you You women are always thinking of men 's being in liquor Why you do not suppose a man is overset by a bottle I am sure of this that if everybody was to drink their bottle a day there would not be half the disorders in the world there are now It would be a famous good thing for us all {para} I cannot believe it {para} Oh Lord it would be the saving of thousands There is not the hundredth part of the wine consumed in this kingdom that there ought to be Our foggy climate wants help {para} And yet I have heard that there is a great deal of wine drunk in Oxford {para} Oxford There is no drinking at Oxford now I assure you Nobody drinks there You would hardly meet with a man who goes beyond his four pints at the utmost Now for instance it was reckoned a remarkable thing at the last party in my rooms that upon an average we cleared about five pints a head It was looked upon as something out of the common way Mine is famous good stuff to be sure You would not often meet with anything like it in Oxford and that may account for it But this will just give you a notion of the general rate of drinking there {para} Yes it does give a notion said Catherine warmly and that is that you all drink a great deal more wine than I thought you did However I am sure James does not drink so much {para} This declaration brought on a loud and overpowering reply of which no part was very distinct except the frequent exclamations amounting almost to oaths which adorned it and Catherine was left when it ended with rather a strengthened belief of there being a great deal of wine drunk in Oxford and the same happy conviction of her brother 's comparative sobriety {para} Thorpe 's ideas then all reverted to the merits of his own equipage and she was called on to admire the spirit and freedom with which his horse moved along and the ease which his paces as well as the excellence of the springs gave the motion of the carriage She followed him in all his admiration as well as she could To go before or beyond him was impossible His knowledge and her ignorance of the subject his rapidity of expression and her diffidence of herself put that out of her power she could strike out nothing new in commendation but she readily echoed whatever he chose to assert and it was finally settled between them without any difficulty that his equipage was altogether the most complete of its kind in England his carriage the neatest his horse the best goer and himself the best coachman You do not really think Mr Thorpe said Catherine venturing after some time to consider the matter as entirely decided and to offer some little variation on the subject that James 's gig will break down {para} Break down Oh Lord Did you ever see such a little tittuppy thing in your life There is not a sound piece of iron about it The wheels have been fairly worn out these ten years at least and as for the body Upon my soul you might shake it to pieces yourself with a touch It is the most devilish little rickety business I ever beheld Thank God we have got a better I would not be bound to go two miles in it for fifty thousand pounds {para} Good heavens cried Catherine quite frightened Then pray let us turn back they will certainly meet with an accident if we go on Do let us turn back Mr Thorpe stop and speak to my brother and tell him how very unsafe it is {para} Unsafe Oh lord What is there in that They will only get a roll if it does break down and there is plenty of dirt it will be excellent falling Oh curse it The carriage is safe enough if a man knows how to drive it a thing of that sort in good hands will last above twenty years after it is fairly worn out Lord bless you I would undertake for five pounds to drive it to York and back again without losing a nail {para} Catherine listened with astonishment she knew not how to reconcile two such very different accounts of the same thing for she had not been brought up to understand the propensities of a rattle nor to know to how many idle assertions and impudent falsehoods the excess of vanity will lead Her own family were plain matter of fact people who seldom aimed at wit of any kind her father at the utmost being contented with a pun and her mother with a proverb they were not in the habit therefore of telling lies to increase their importance or of asserting at one moment what they would contradict the next She reflected on the affair for some time in much perplexity and was more than once on the point of requesting from Mr Thorpe a clearer insight into his real opinion on the subject but she checked herself because it appeared to her that he did not excel in giving those clearer insights in making those things plain which he had before made ambiguous and joining to this the consideration that he would not really suffer his sister and his friend to be exposed to a danger from which he might easily preserve them she concluded at last that he must know the carriage to be in fact perfectly safe and therefore would alarm herself no longer By him the whole matter seemed entirely forgotten and all the rest of his conversation or rather talk began and ended with himself and his own concerns He told her of horses which he had bought for a trifle and sold for incredible sums of racing matches in which his judgment had infallibly foretold the winner of shooting parties in which he had killed more birds though without having one good shot than all his companions together and described to her some famous day 's sport with the fox hounds in which his foresight and skill in directing the dogs had repaired the mistakes of the most experienced huntsman and in which the boldness of his riding though it had never endangered his own life for a moment had been constantly leading others into difficulties which he calmly concluded had broken the necks of many {para} Little as Catherine was in the habit of judging for herself and unfixed as were her general notions of what men ought to be she could not entirely repress a doubt while she bore with the effusions of his endless conceit of his being altogether completely agreeable It was a bold surmise for he was Isabella 's brother and she had been assured by James that his manners would recommend him to all her sex but in spite of this the extreme weariness of his company which crept over her before they had been out an hour and which continued unceasingly to increase till they stopped in Pulteney Street again induced her in some small degree to resist such high authority and to distrust his powers of giving universal pleasure {para} When they arrived at Mrs Allen 's door the astonishment of Isabella was hardly to be expressed on finding that it was too late in the day for them to attend her friend into the house Past three o'clock It was inconceivable incredible impossible And she would neither believe her own watch nor her brother 's nor the servant 's she would believe no assurance of it founded on reason or reality till Morland produced his watch and ascertained the fact to have doubted a moment longer then would have been equally inconceivable incredible and impossible and she could only protest over and over again that no two hours and a half had ever gone off so swiftly before as Catherine was called on to confirm Catherine could not tell a falsehood even to please Isabella but the latter was spared the misery of her friend 's dissenting voice by not waiting for her answer Her own feelings entirely engrossed her her wretchedness was most acute on finding herself obliged to go directly home It was ages since she had had a moment 's conversation with her dearest Catherine and though she had such thousands of things to say to her it appeared as if they were never to be together again so with sniffles of most exquisite misery and the laughing eye of utter despondency she bade her friend adieu and went on {para} Catherine found Mrs Allen just returned from all the busy idleness of the morning and was immediately greeted with Well my dear here you are a truth which she had no greater inclination than power to dispute and I hope you have had a pleasant airing {para} Yes ma'am I thank you we could not have had a nicer day {para} So Mrs Thorpe said she was vastly pleased at your all going {para} You have seen Mrs Thorpe then {para} Yes I went to the pump room as soon as you were gone and there I met her and we had a great deal of talk together She says there was hardly any veal to be got at market this morning it is so uncommonly scarce {para} Did you see anybody else of our acquaintance {para} Yes we agreed to take a turn in the Crescent and there we met Mrs Hughes and Mr and Miss Tilney walking with her {para} Did you indeed And did they speak to you {para} Yes we walked along the Crescent together for half an hour They seem very agreeable people Miss Tilney was in a very pretty spotted muslin and I fancy by what I can learn that she always dresses very handsomely Mrs Hughes talked to me a great deal about the family {para} And what did she tell you of them {para} Oh A vast deal indeed she hardly talked of anything else {para} Did she tell you what part of Gloucestershire they come from {para} Yes she did but I cannot recollect now But they are very good kind of people and very rich Mrs Tilney was a Miss Drummond and she and Mrs Hughes were schoolfellows and Miss Drummond had a very large fortune and when she married her father gave her twenty thousand pounds and five hundred to buy wedding clothes Mrs Hughes saw all the clothes after they came from the warehouse {para} And are Mr and Mrs Tilney in Bath {para} Yes I fancy they are but I am not quite certain Upon recollection however I have a notion they are both dead at least the mother is yes I am sure Mrs Tilney is dead because Mrs Hughes told me there was a very beautiful set of pearls that Mr Drummond gave his daughter on her wedding day and that Miss Tilney has got now for they were put by for her when her mother died {para} And is Mr Tilney my partner the only son {para} I cannot be quite positive about that my dear I have some idea he is but however he is a very fine young man Mrs Hughes says and likely to do very well {para} Catherine inquired no further she had heard enough to feel that Mrs Allen had no real intelligence to give and that she was most particularly unfortunate herself in having missed such a meeting with both brother and sister Could she have foreseen such a circumstance nothing should have persuaded her to go out with the others and as it was she could only lament her ill luck and think over what she had lost till it was clear to her that the drive had by no means been very pleasant and that John Thorpe himself was quite disagreeable {para} CHAPTER 10 {para} The Allens Thorpes and Morlands all met in the evening at the theatre and as Catherine and Isabella sat together there was then an opportunity for the latter to utter some few of the many thousand things which had been collecting within her for communication in the immeasurable length of time which had divided them Oh heavens My beloved Catherine have I got you at last was her address on Catherine 's entering the box and sitting by her Now Mr Morland for he was close to her on the other side I shall not speak another word to you all the rest of the evening so I charge you not to expect it My sweetest Catherine how have you been this long age But I need not ask you for you look delightfully You really have done your hair in a more heavenly style than ever you mischievous creature do you want to attract everybody I assure you my brother is quite in love with you already and as for Mr Tilney but that is a settled thing even your modesty cannot doubt his attachment now his coming back to Bath makes it too plain Oh What would not I give to see him I really am quite wild with impatience My mother says he is the most delightful young man in the world she saw him this morning you know you must introduce him to me Is he in the house now Look about for heaven 's sake I assure you I can hardly exist till I see him {para} No said Catherine he is not here I cannot see him anywhere {para} Oh horrid Am I never to be acquainted with him How do you like my gown I think it does not look amiss the sleeves were entirely my own thought Do you know I get so immoderately sick of Bath your brother and I were agreeing this morning that though it is vastly well to be here for a few weeks we would not live here for millions We soon found out that our tastes were exactly alike in preferring the country to every other place really our opinions were so exactly the same it was quite ridiculous There was not a single point in which we differed I would not have had you by for the world you are such a sly thing I am sure you would have made some droll remark or other about it {para} No indeed I should not {para} Oh yes you would indeed I know you better than you know yourself You would have told us that we seemed born for each other or some nonsense of that kind which would have distressed me beyond conception my cheeks would have been as red as your roses I would not have had you by for the world {para} Indeed you do me injustice I would not have made so improper a remark upon any account and besides I am sure it would never have entered my head {para} Isabella smiled incredulously and talked the rest of the evening to James {para} Catherine 's resolution of endeavouring to meet Miss Tilney again continued in full force the next morning and till the usual moment of going to the pump room she felt some alarm from the dread of a second prevention But nothing of that kind occurred no visitors appeared to delay them and they all three set off in good time for the pump room where the ordinary course of events and conversation took place Mr Allen after drinking his glass of water joined some gentlemen to talk over the politics of the day and compare the accounts of their newspapers and the ladies walked about together noticing every new face and almost every new bonnet in the room The female part of the Thorpe family attended by James Morland appeared among the crowd in less than a quarter of an hour and Catherine immediately took her usual place by the side of her friend James who was now in constant attendance maintained a similar position and separating themselves from the rest of their party they walked in that manner for some time till Catherine began to doubt the happiness of a situation which confining her entirely to her friend and brother gave her very little share in the notice of either They were always engaged in some sentimental discussion or lively dispute but their sentiment was conveyed in such whispering voices and their vivacity attended with so much laughter that though Catherine 's supporting opinion was not unfrequently called for by one or the other she was never able to give any from not having heard a word of the subject At length however she was empowered to disengage herself from her friend by the avowed necessity of speaking to Miss Tilney whom she most joyfully saw just entering the room with Mrs Hughes and whom she instantly joined with a firmer determination to be acquainted than she might have had courage to command had she not been urged by the disappointment of the day before Miss Tilney met her with great civility returned her advances with equal goodwill and they continued talking together as long as both parties remained in the room and though in all probability not an observation was made nor an expression used by either which had not been made and used some thousands of times before under that roof in every Bath season yet the merit of their being spoken with simplicity and truth and without personal conceit might be something uncommon {para} How well your brother dances was an artless exclamation of Catherine 's towards the close of their conversation which at once surprised and amused her companion {para} Henry she replied with a smile Yes he does dance very well {para} He must have thought it very odd to hear me say I was engaged the other evening when he saw me sitting down But I really had been engaged the whole day to Mr Thorpe Miss Tilney could only bow You cannot think added Catherine after a moment 's silence how surprised I was to see him again I felt so sure of his being quite gone away {para} When Henry had the pleasure of seeing you before he was in Bath but for a couple of days He came only to engage lodgings for us {para} That never occurred to me and of course not seeing him anywhere I thought he must be gone Was not the young lady he danced with on Monday a Miss Smith {para} Yes an acquaintance of Mrs Hughes {para} I dare say she was very glad to dance Do you think her pretty Not very {para} He never comes to the pump room I suppose Yes sometimes but he has rid out this morning with my father {para} Mrs Hughes now joined them and asked Miss Tilney if she was ready to go I hope I shall have the pleasure of seeing you again soon said Catherine Shall you be at the cotillion ball tomorrow {para} Perhaps we Yes I think we certainly shall {para} I am glad of it for we shall all be there This civility was duly returned and they parted on Miss Tilney 's side with some knowledge of her new acquaintance 's feelings and on Catherine 's without the smallest consciousness of having explained them {para} She went home very happy The morning had answered all her hopes and the evening of the following day was now the object of expectation the future good What gown and what head dress she should wear on the occasion became her chief concern She cannot be justified in it Dress is at all times a frivolous distinction and excessive solicitude about it often destroys its own aim Catherine knew all this very well her great aunt had read her a lecture on the subject only the Christmas before and yet she lay awake ten minutes on Wednesday night debating between her spotted and her tamboured muslin and nothing but the shortness of the time prevented her buying a new one for the evening This would have been an error in judgment great though not uncommon from which one of the other sex rather than her own a brother rather than a great aunt might have warned her for man only can be aware of the insensibility of man towards a new gown It would be mortifying to the feelings of many ladies could they be made to understand how little the heart of man is affected by what is costly or new in their attire how little it is biased by the texture of their muslin and how unsusceptible of peculiar tenderness towards the spotted the sprigged the mull or the jackonet Woman is fine for her own satisfaction alone No man will admire her the more no woman will like her the better for it Neatness and fashion are enough for the former and a something of shabbiness or impropriety will be most endearing to the latter But not one of these grave reflections troubled the tranquillity of Catherine {para} She entered the rooms on Thursday evening with feelings very different from what had attended her thither the Monday before She had then been exulting in her engagement to Thorpe and was now chiefly anxious to avoid his sight lest he should engage her again for though she could not dared not expect that Mr Tilney should ask her a third time to dance her wishes hopes and plans all centred in nothing less Every young lady may feel for my heroine in this critical moment for every young lady has at some time or other known the same agitation All have been or at least all have believed themselves to be in danger from the pursuit of someone whom they wished to avoid and all have been anxious for the attentions of someone whom they wished to please As soon as they were joined by the Thorpes Catherine 's agony began she fidgeted about if John Thorpe came towards her hid herself as much as possible from his view and when he spoke to her pretended not to hear him The cotillions were over the country dancing beginning and she saw nothing of the Tilneys {para} Do not be frightened my dear Catherine whispered Isabella but I am really going to dance with your brother again I declare positively it is quite shocking I tell him he ought to be ashamed of himself but you and John must keep us in countenance Make haste my dear creature and come to us John is just walked off but he will be back in a moment {para} Catherine had neither time nor inclination to answer The others walked away John Thorpe was still in view and she gave herself up for lost That she might not appear however to observe or expect him she kept her eyes intently fixed on her fan and a self condemnation for her folly in supposing that among such a crowd they should even meet with the Tilneys in any reasonable time had just passed through her mind when she suddenly found herself addressed and again solicited to dance by Mr Tilney himself With what sparkling eyes and ready motion she granted his request and with how pleasing a flutter of heart she went with him to the set may be easily imagined To escape and as she believed so narrowly escape John Thorpe and to be asked so immediately on his joining her asked by Mr Tilney as if he had sought her on purpose it did not appear to her that life could supply any greater felicity {para} Scarcely had they worked themselves into the quiet possession of a place however when her attention was claimed by John Thorpe who stood behind her Heyday Miss Morland said he What is the meaning of this I thought you and I were to dance together {para} I wonder you should think so for you never asked me {para} That is a good one by Jove I asked you as soon as I came into the room and I was just going to ask you again but when I turned round you were gone This is a cursed shabby trick I only came for the sake of dancing with you and I firmly believe you were engaged to me ever since Monday Yes I remember I asked you while you were waiting in the lobby for your cloak And here have I been telling all my acquaintance that I was going to dance with the prettiest girl in the room and when they see you standing up with somebody else they will quiz me famously {para} Oh no they will never think of me after such a description as that {para} By heavens if they do not I will kick them out of the room for blockheads What chap have you there Catherine satisfied his curiosity Tilney he repeated Hum I do not know him A good figure of a man well put together Does he want a horse Here is a friend of mine Sam Fletcher has got one to sell that would suit anybody A famous clever animal for the road only forty guineas I had fifty minds to buy it myself for it is one of my maxims always to buy a good horse when I meet with one but it would not answer my purpose it would not do for the field I would give any money for a real good hunter I have three now the best that ever were backed I would not take eight hundred guineas for them Fletcher and I mean to get a house in Leicestershire against the next season It is so d uncomfortable living at an inn {para} This was the last sentence by which he could weary Catherine 's attention for he was just then borne off by the resistless pressure of a long string of passing ladies Her partner now drew near and said That gentleman would have put me out of patience had he stayed with you half a minute longer He has no business to withdraw the attention of my partner from me We have entered into a contract of mutual agreeableness for the space of an evening and all our agreeableness belongs solely to each other for that time Nobody can fasten themselves on the notice of one without injuring the rights of the other I consider a country dance as an emblem of marriage Fidelity and complaisance are the principal duties of both and those men who do not choose to dance or marry themselves have no business with the partners or wives of their neighbours {para} But they are such very different things {para} That you think they cannot be compared together {para} To be sure not People that marry can never part but must go and keep house together People that dance only stand opposite each other in a long room for half an hour {para} And such is your definition of matrimony and dancing Taken in that light certainly their resemblance is not striking but I think I could place them in such a view You will allow that in both man has the advantage of choice woman only the power of refusal that in both it is an engagement between man and woman formed for the advantage of each and that when once entered into they belong exclusively to each other till the moment of its dissolution that it is their duty each to endeavour to give the other no cause for wishing that he or she had bestowed themselves elsewhere and their best interest to keep their own imaginations from wandering towards the perfections of their neighbours or fancying that they should have been better off with anyone else You will allow all this {para} Yes to be sure as you state it all this sounds very well but still they are so very different I cannot look upon them at all in the same light nor think the same duties belong to them {para} In one respect there certainly is a difference In marriage the man is supposed to provide for the support of the woman the woman to make the home agreeable to the man he is to purvey and she is to smile But in dancing their duties are exactly changed the agreeableness the compliance are expected from him while she furnishes the fan and the lavender water That I suppose was the difference of duties which struck you as rendering the conditions incapable of comparison {para} No indeed I never thought of that {para} Then I am quite at a loss One thing however I must observe This disposition on your side is rather alarming You totally disallow any similarity in the obligations and may I not thence infer that your notions of the duties of the dancing state are not so strict as your partner might wish Have I not reason to fear that if the gentleman who spoke to you just now were to return or if any other gentleman were to address you there would be nothing to restrain you from conversing with him as long as you chose {para} Mr Thorpe is such a very particular friend of my brother 's that if he talks to me I must talk to him again but there are hardly three young men in the room besides him that I have any acquaintance with {para} And is that to be my only security Alas alas {para} Nay I am sure you cannot have a better for if I do not know anybody it is impossible for me to talk to them and besides I do not want to talk to anybody {para} Now you have given me a security worth having and I shall proceed with courage Do you find Bath as agreeable as when I had the honour of making the inquiry before {para} Yes quite more so indeed {para} More so Take care or you will forget to be tired of it at the proper time You ought to be tired at the end of six weeks {para} I do not think I should be tired if I were to stay here six months {para} Bath compared with London has little variety and so everybody finds out every year For six weeks I allow Bath is pleasant enough but beyond that it is the most tiresome place in the world You would be told so by people of all descriptions who come regularly every winter lengthen their six weeks into ten or twelve and go away at last because they can afford to stay no longer {para} Well other people must judge for themselves and those who go to London may think nothing of Bath But I who live in a small retired village in the country can never find greater sameness in such a place as this than in my own home for here are a variety of amusements a variety of things to be seen and done all day long which I can know nothing of there {para} You are not fond of the country {para} Yes I am I have always lived there and always been very happy But certainly there is much more sameness in a country life than in a Bath life One day in the country is exactly like another {para} But then you spend your time so much more rationally in the country {para} Do I {para} Do you not {para} I do not believe there is much difference {para} Here you are in pursuit only of amusement all day long {para} And so I am at home only I do not find so much of it I walk about here and so I do there but here I see a variety of people in every street and there I can only go and call on Mrs Allen {para} Mr Tilney was very much amused {para} Only go and call on Mrs Allen he repeated What a picture of intellectual poverty However when you sink into this abyss again you will have more to say You will be able to talk of Bath and of all that you did here {para} Oh Yes I shall never be in want of something to talk of again to Mrs Allen or anybody else I really believe I shall always be talking of Bath when I am at home again I do like it so very much If I could but have Papa and Mamma and the rest of them here I suppose I should be too happy James 's coming my eldest brother is quite delightful and especially as it turns out that the very family we are just got so intimate with are his intimate friends already Oh Who can ever be tired of Bath {para} Not those who bring such fresh feelings of every sort to it as you do But papas and mammas and brothers and intimate friends are a good deal gone by to most of the frequenters of Bath and the honest relish of balls and plays and everyday sights is past with them Here their conversation closed the demands of the dance becoming now too importunate for a divided attention {para} Soon after their reaching the bottom of the set Catherine perceived herself to be earnestly regarded by a gentleman who stood among the lookers on immediately behind her partner He was a very handsome man of a commanding aspect past the bloom but not past the vigour of life and with his eye still directed towards her she saw him presently address Mr Tilney in a familiar whisper Confused by his notice and blushing from the fear of its being excited by something wrong in her appearance she turned away her head But while she did so the gentleman retreated and her partner coming nearer said I see that you guess what I have just been asked That gentleman knows your name and you have a right to know his It is General Tilney my father {para} Catherine 's answer was only Oh but it was an Oh expressing everything needful attention to his words and perfect reliance on their truth With real interest and strong admiration did her eye now follow the general as he moved through the crowd and How handsome a family they are was her secret remark {para} In chatting with Miss Tilney before the evening concluded a new source of felicity arose to her She had never taken a country walk since her arrival in Bath Miss Tilney to whom all the commonly frequented environs were familiar spoke of them in terms which made her all eagerness to know them too and on her openly fearing that she might find nobody to go with her it was proposed by the brother and sister that they should join in a walk some morning or other I shall like it she cried beyond anything in the world and do not let us put it off let us go tomorrow This was readily agreed to with only a proviso of Miss Tilney 's that it did not rain which Catherine was sure it would not At twelve o'clock they were to call for her in Pulteney Street and Remember twelve o'clock was her parting speech to her new friend Of her other her older her more established friend Isabella of whose fidelity and worth she had enjoyed a fortnight 's experience she scarcely saw anything during the evening Yet though longing to make her acquainted with her happiness she cheerfully submitted to the wish of Mr Allen which took them rather early away and her spirits danced within her as she danced in her chair all the way home {para} CHAPTER 11 {para} The morrow brought a very sober looking morning the sun making only a few efforts to appear and Catherine augured from it everything most favourable to her wishes A bright morning so early in the year she allowed would generally turn to rain but a cloudy one foretold improvement as the day advanced She applied to Mr Allen for confirmation of her hopes but Mr Allen not having his own skies and barometer about him declined giving any absolute promise of sunshine She applied to Mrs Allen and Mrs Allen 's opinion was more positive She had no doubt in the world of its being a very fine day if the clouds would only go off and the sun keep out {para} At about eleven o'clock however a few specks of small rain upon the windows caught Catherine 's watchful eye and Oh dear I do believe it will be wet broke from her in a most desponding tone {para} I thought how it would be said Mrs Allen {para} No walk for me today sighed Catherine but perhaps it may come to nothing or it may hold up before twelve {para} Perhaps it may but then my dear it will be so dirty {para} Oh That will not signify I never mind dirt {para} No replied her friend very placidly I know you never mind dirt {para} After a short pause It comes on faster and faster said Catherine as she stood watching at a window {para} So it does indeed If it keeps raining the streets will be very wet {para} There are four umbrellas up already How I hate the sight of an umbrella {para} They are disagreeable things to carry I would much rather take a chair at any time {para} It was such a nice looking morning I felt so convinced it would be dry {para} Anybody would have thought so indeed There will be very few people in the pump room if it rains all the morning I hope Mr Allen will put on his greatcoat when he goes but I dare say he will not for he had rather do anything in the world than walk out in a greatcoat I wonder he should dislike it it must be so comfortable {para} The rain continued fast though not heavy Catherine went every five minutes to the clock threatening on each return that if it still kept on raining another five minutes she would give up the matter as hopeless The clock struck twelve and it still rained You will not be able to go my dear {para} I do not quite despair yet I shall not give it up till a quarter after twelve This is just the time of day for it to clear up and I do think it looks a little lighter There it is twenty minutes after twelve and now I shall give it up entirely Oh That we had such weather here as they had at Udolpho or at least in Tuscany and the south of France the night that poor St Aubin died such beautiful weather {para} At half past twelve when Catherine 's anxious attention to the weather was over and she could no longer claim any merit from its amendment the sky began voluntarily to clear A gleam of sunshine took her quite by surprise she looked round the clouds were parting and she instantly returned to the window to watch over and encourage the happy appearance Ten minutes more made it certain that a bright afternoon would succeed and justified the opinion of Mrs Allen who had always thought it would clear up But whether Catherine might still expect her friends whether there had not been too much rain for Miss Tilney to venture must yet be a question {para} It was too dirty for Mrs Allen to accompany her husband to the pump room he accordingly set off by himself and Catherine had barely watched him down the street when her notice was claimed by the approach of the same two open carriages containing the same three people that had surprised her so much a few mornings back {para} Isabella my brother and Mr Thorpe I declare They are coming for me perhaps but I shall not go I cannot go indeed for you know Miss Tilney may still call Mrs Allen agreed to it John Thorpe was soon with them and his voice was with them yet sooner for on the stairs he was calling out to Miss Morland to be quick Make haste Make haste as he threw open the door Put on your hat this moment there is no time to be lost we are going to Bristol How d'ye do Mrs Allen {para} To Bristol Is not that a great way off But however I cannot go with you today because I am engaged I expect some friends every moment This was of course vehemently talked down as no reason at all Mrs Allen was called on to second him and the two others walked in to give their assistance My sweetest Catherine is not this delightful We shall have a most heavenly drive You are to thank your brother and me for the scheme it darted into our heads at breakfast time I verily believe at the same instant and we should have been off two hours ago if it had not been for this detestable rain But it does not signify the nights are moonlight and we shall do delightfully Oh I am in such ecstasies at the thoughts of a little country air and quiet So much better than going to the Lower Rooms We shall drive directly to Clifton and dine there and as soon as dinner is over if there is time for it go on to Kingsweston {para} I doubt our being able to do so much said Morland {para} You croaking fellow cried Thorpe We shall be able to do ten times more Kingsweston Aye and Blaize Castle too and anything else we can hear of but here is your sister says she will not go {para} Blaize Castle cried Catherine What is that {para} The finest place in England worth going fifty miles at any time to see {para} What is it really a castle an old castle {para} The oldest in the kingdom {para} But is it like what one reads of {para} Exactly the very same {para} But now really are there towers and long galleries {para} By dozens {para} Then I should like to see it but I cannot I cannot go {para} Not go My beloved creature what do you mean {para} I cannot go because looking down as she spoke fearful of Isabella 's smile I expect Miss Tilney and her brother to call on me to take a country walk They promised to come at twelve only it rained but now as it is so fine I dare say they will be here soon {para} Not they indeed cried Thorpe for as we turned into Broad Street I saw them does he not drive a phaeton with bright chestnuts {para} I do not know indeed {para} Yes I know he does I saw him You are talking of the man you danced with last night are not you {para} Yes {para} Well I saw him at that moment turn up the Lansdown Road driving a smart looking girl {para} Did you indeed {para} Did upon my soul knew him again directly and he seemed to have got some very pretty cattle too {para} It is very odd But I suppose they thought it would be too dirty for a walk {para} And well they might for I never saw so much dirt in my life Walk You could no more walk than you could fly It has not been so dirty the whole winter it is ankle deep everywhere {para} Isabella corroborated it My dearest Catherine you cannot form an idea of the dirt come you must go you cannot refuse going now {para} I should like to see the castle but may we go all over it May we go up every staircase and into every suite of rooms {para} Yes yes every hole and corner {para} But then if they should only be gone out for an hour till it is dryer and call by and by {para} Make yourself easy there is no danger of that for I heard Tilney hallooing to a man who was just passing by on horseback that they were going as far as Wick Rocks {para} Then I will Shall I go Mrs Allen {para} Just as you please my dear {para} Mrs Allen you must persuade her to go was the general cry Mrs Allen was not inattentive to it Well my dear said she suppose you go And in two minutes they were off {para} Catherine 's feelings as she got into the carriage were in a very unsettled state divided between regret for the loss of one great pleasure and the hope of soon enjoying another almost its equal in degree however unlike in kind She could not think the Tilneys had acted quite well by her in so readily giving up their engagement without sending her any message of excuse It was now but an hour later than the time fixed on for the beginning of their walk and in spite of what she had heard of the prodigious accumulation of dirt in the course of that hour she could not from her own observation help thinking that they might have gone with very little inconvenience To feel herself slighted by them was very painful On the other hand the delight of exploring an edifice like Udolpho as her fancy represented Blaize Castle to be was such a counterpoise of good as might console her for almost anything {para} They passed briskly down Pulteney Street and through Laura Place without the exchange of many words Thorpe talked to his horse and she meditated by turns on broken promises and broken arches phaetons and false hangings Tilneys and trap doors As they entered Argyle Buildings however she was roused by this address from her companion Who is that girl who looked at you so hard as she went by {para} Who Where {para} On the right hand pavement she must be almost out of sight now Catherine looked round and saw Miss Tilney leaning on her brother 's arm walking slowly down the street She saw them both looking back at her Stop stop Mr Thorpe she impatiently cried it is Miss Tilney it is indeed How could you tell me they were gone Stop stop I will get out this moment and go to them But to what purpose did she speak Thorpe only lashed his horse into a brisker trot the Tilneys who had soon ceased to look after her were in a moment out of sight round the corner of Laura Place and in another moment she was herself whisked into the marketplace Still however and during the length of another street she entreated him to stop Pray pray stop Mr Thorpe I cannot go on I will not go on I must go back to Miss Tilney But Mr Thorpe only laughed smacked his whip encouraged his horse made odd noises and drove on and Catherine angry and vexed as she was having no power of getting away was obliged to give up the point and submit Her reproaches however were not spared How could you deceive me so Mr Thorpe How could you say that you saw them driving up the Lansdown Road I would not have had it happen so for the world They must think it so strange so rude of me To go by them too without saying a word You do not know how vexed I am I shall have no pleasure at Clifton nor in anything else I had rather ten thousand times rather get out now and walk back to them How could you say you saw them driving out in a phaeton Thorpe defended himself very stoutly declared he had never seen two men so much alike in his life and would hardly give up the point of its having been Tilney himself {para} Their drive even when this subject was over was not likely to be very agreeable Catherine 's complaisance was no longer what it had been in their former airing She listened reluctantly and her replies were short Blaize Castle remained her only comfort towards that she still looked at intervals with pleasure though rather than be disappointed of the promised walk and especially rather than be thought ill of by the Tilneys she would willingly have given up all the happiness which its walls could supply the happiness of a progress through a long suite of lofty rooms exhibiting the remains of magnificent furniture though now for many years deserted the happiness of being stopped in their way along narrow winding vaults by a low grated door or even of having their lamp their only lamp extinguished by a sudden gust of wind and of being left in total darkness In the meanwhile they proceeded on their journey without any mischance and were within view of the town of Keynsham when a halloo from Morland who was behind them made his friend pull up to know what was the matter The others then came close enough for conversation and Morland said We had better go back Thorpe it is too late to go on today your sister thinks so as well as I We have been exactly an hour coming from Pulteney Street very little more than seven miles and I suppose we have at least eight more to go It will never do We set out a great deal too late We had much better put it off till another day and turn round {para} It is all one to me replied Thorpe rather angrily and instantly turning his horse they were on their way back to Bath {para} If your brother had not got such a d beast to drive said he soon afterwards we might have done it very well My horse would have trotted to Clifton within the hour if left to himself and I have almost broke my arm with pulling him in to that cursed broken winded jade 's pace Morland is a fool for not keeping a horse and gig of his own {para} No he is not said Catherine warmly for I am sure he could not afford it {para} And why cannot he afford it {para} Because he has not money enough {para} And whose fault is that {para} Nobody 's that I know of Thorpe then said something in the loud incoherent way to which he had often recourse about its being a d thing to be miserly and that if people who rolled in money could not afford things he did not know who could which Catherine did not even endeavour to understand Disappointed of what was to have been the consolation for her first disappointment she was less and less disposed either to be agreeable herself or to find her companion so and they returned to Pulteney Street without her speaking twenty words {para} As she entered the house the footman told her that a gentleman and lady had catted and inquired for her a few minutes after her setting off that when he told them she was gone out with Mr Thorpe the lady had asked whether any message had been left for her and on his saying no had felt for a card but said she had none about her and went away Pondering over these heart rending tidings Catherine walked slowly upstairs At the head of them she was met by Mr Allen who on hearing the reason of their speedy return said I am glad your brother had so much sense I am glad you are come back It was a strange wild scheme {para} They all spent the evening together at Thorpe 's Catherine was disturbed and out of spirits but Isabella seemed to find a pool of commerce in the fate of which she shared by private partnership with Morland a very good equivalent for the quiet and country air of an inn at Clifton Her satisfaction too in not being at the Lower Rooms was spoken more than once How I pity the poor creatures that are going there How glad I am that I am not amongst them I wonder whether it will be a full ball or not They have not begun dancing yet I would not be there for all the world It is so delightful to have an evening now and then to oneself I dare say it will not be a very good ball I know the Mitchells will not be there I am sure I pity everybody that is But I dare say Mr Morland you long to be at it do not you I am sure you do Well pray do not let anybody here be a restraint on you I dare say we could do very well without you but you men think yourselves of such consequence {para} Catherine could almost have accused Isabella of being wanting in tenderness towards herself and her sorrows so very little did they appear to dwell on her mind and so very inadequate was the comfort she offered Do not be so dull my dearest creature she whispered You will quite break my heart It was amazingly shocking to be sure but the Tilneys were entirely to blame Why were not they more punctual It was dirty indeed but what did that signify I am sure John and I should not have minded it I never mind going through anything where a friend is concerned that is my disposition and John is just the same he has amazing strong feelings Good heavens What a delightful hand you have got Kings I vow I never was so happy in my life I would fifty times rather you should have them than myself {para} And now I may dismiss my heroine to the sleepless couch which is the true heroine 's portion to a pillow strewed with thorns and wet with tears And lucky may she think herself if she get another good night 's rest in the course of the next three months {para} CHAPTER 12 {para} Mrs Allen said Catherine the next morning will there be any harm in my calling on Miss Tilney today I shall not be easy till I have explained everything {para} Go by all means my dear only put on a white gown Miss Tilney always wears white {para} Catherine cheerfully complied and being properly equipped was more impatient than ever to be at the pump room that she might inform herself of General Tilneys lodgings for though she believed they were in Milsom Street she was not certain of the house and Mrs Allen 's wavering convictions only made it more doubtful To Milsom Street she was directed and having made herself perfect in the number hastened away with eager steps and a beating heart to pay her visit explain her conduct and be forgiven tripping lightly through the church yard and resolutely turning away her eyes that she might not be obliged to see her beloved Isabella and her dear family who she had reason to believe were in a shop hard by She reached the house without any impediment looked at the number knocked at the door and inquired for Miss Tilney The man believed Miss Tilney to be at home but was not quite certain Would she be pleased to send up her name She gave her card In a few minutes the servant returned and with a look which did not quite confirm his words said he had been mistaken for that Miss Tilney was walked out Catherine with a blush of mortification left the house She felt almost persuaded that Miss Tilney was at home and too much offended to admit her and as she retired down the street could not withhold one glance at the drawing room windows in expectation of seeing her there but no one appeared at them At the bottom of the street however she looked back again and then not at a window but issuing from the door she saw Miss Tilney herself She was followed by a gentleman whom Catherine believed to be her father and they turned up towards Edgar 's Buildings Catherine in deep mortification proceeded on her way She could almost be angry herself at such angry incivility but she checked the resentful sensation she remembered her own ignorance She knew not how such an offence as hers might be classed by the laws of worldly politeness to what a degree of unforgivingness it might with propriety lead nor to what rigours of rudeness in return it might justly make her amenable {para} Dejected and humbled she had even some thoughts of not going with the others to the theatre that night but it must be confessed that they were not of long continuance for she soon recollected in the first place that she was without any excuse for staying at home and in the second that it was a play she wanted very much to see To the theatre accordingly they all went no Tilneys appeared to plague or please her she feared that amongst the many perfections of the family a fondness for plays was not to be ranked but perhaps it was because they were habituated to the finer performances of the London stage which she knew on Isabella 's authority rendered everything else of the kind quite horrid She was not deceived in her own expectation of pleasure the comedy so well suspended her care that no one observing her during the first four acts would have supposed she had any wretchedness about her On the beginning of the fifth however the sudden view of Mr Henry Tilney and his father joining a party in the opposite box recalled her to anxiety and distress The stage could no longer excite genuine merriment no longer keep her whole attention Every other look upon an average was directed towards the opposite box and for the space of two entire scenes did she thus watch Henry Tilney without being once able to catch his eye No longer could he be suspected of indifference for a play his notice was never withdrawn from the stage during two whole scenes At length however he did look towards her and he bowed but such a bow No smile no continued observance attended it his eyes were immediately returned to their former direction Catherine was restlessly miserable she could almost have run round to the box in which he sat and forced him to hear her explanation Feelings rather natural than heroic possessed her instead of considering her own dignity injured by this ready condemnation instead of proudly resolving in conscious innocence to show her resentment towards him who could harbour a doubt of it to leave to him all the trouble of seeking an explanation and to enlighten him on the past only by avoiding his sight or flirting with somebody else she took to herself all the shame of misconduct or at least of its appearance and was only eager for an opportunity of explaining its cause {para} The play concluded the curtain fell Henry Tilney was no longer to be seen where he had hitherto sat but his father remained and perhaps he might be now coming round to their box She was right in a few minutes he appeared and making his way through the then thinning rows spoke with like calm politeness to Mrs Allen and her friend Not with such calmness was he answered by the latter Oh Mr Tilney I have been quite wild to speak to you and make my apologies You must have thought me so rude but indeed it was not my own fault was it Mrs Allen Did not they tell me that Mr Tilney and his sister were gone out in a phaeton together And then what could I do But I had ten thousand times rather have been with you now had not I Mrs Allen {para} My dear you tumble my gown was Mrs Allen 's reply {para} Her assurance however standing sole as it did was not thrown away it brought a more cordial more natural smile into his countenance and he replied in a tone which retained only a little affected reserve We were much obliged to you at any rate for wishing us a pleasant walk after our passing you in Argyle Street you were so kind as to look back on purpose {para} But indeed I did not wish you a pleasant walk I never thought of such a thing but I begged Mr Thorpe so earnestly to stop I called out to him as soon as ever I saw you now Mrs Allen did not Oh You were not there but indeed I did and if Mr Thorpe would only have stopped I would have jumped out and run after you {para} Is there a Henry in the world who could be insensible to such a declaration Henry Tilney at least was not With a yet sweeter smile he said everything that need be said of his sister 's concern regret and dependence on Catherine 's honour Oh Do not say Miss Tilney was not angry cried Catherine because I know she was for she would not see me this morning when I called I saw her walk out of the house the next minute after my leaving it I was hurt but I was not affronted Perhaps you did not know I had been there {para} I was not within at the time but I heard of it from Eleanor and she has been wishing ever since to see you to explain the reason of such incivility but perhaps I can do it as well It was nothing more than that my father they were just preparing to walk out and he being hurried for time and not caring to have it put off made a point of her being denied That was all I do assure you She was very much vexed and meant to make her apology as soon as possible {para} Catherine 's mind was greatly eased by this information yet a something of solicitude remained from which sprang the following question thoroughly artless in itself though rather distressing to the gentleman But Mr Tilney why were you less generous than your sister If she felt such confidence in my good intentions and could suppose it to be only a mistake why should you be so ready to take offence {para} Me I take offence {para} Nay I am sure by your look when you came into the box you were angry {para} I angry I could have no right {para} Well nobody would have thought you had no right who saw your face He replied by asking her to make room for him and talking of the play {para} He remained with them some time and was only too agreeable for Catherine to be contented when he went away Before they parted however it was agreed that the projected walk should be taken as soon as possible and setting aside the misery of his quitting their box she was upon the whole left one of the happiest creatures in the world {para} While talking to each other she had observed with some surprise that John Thorpe who was never in the same part of the house for ten minutes together was engaged in conversation with General Tilney and she felt something more than surprise when she thought she could perceive herself the object of their attention and discourse What could they have to say of her She feared General Tilney did not like her appearance she found it was implied in his preventing her admittance to his daughter rather than postpone his own walk a few minutes How came Mr Thorpe to know your father was her anxious inquiry as she pointed them out to her companion He knew nothing about it but his father like every military man had a very large acquaintance {para} When the entertainment was over Thorpe came to assist them in getting out Catherine was the immediate object of his gallantry and while they waited in the lobby for a chair he prevented the inquiry which had travelled from her heart almost to the tip of her tongue by asking in a consequential manner whether she had seen him talking with General Tilney He is a fine old fellow upon my soul Stout active looks as young as his son I have a great regard for him I assure you a gentleman like good sort of fellow as ever lived {para} But how came you to know him {para} Know him There are few people much about town that I do not know I have met him forever at the Bedford and I knew his face again today the moment he came into the billiard room One of the best players we have by the by and we had a little touch together though I was almost afraid of him at first the odds were five to four against me and if I had not made one of the cleanest strokes that perhaps ever was made in this world I took his ball exactly but I could not make you understand it without a table however I did beat him A very fine fellow as rich as a Jew I should like to dine with him I dare say he gives famous dinners But what do you think we have been talking of You Yes by heavens And the general thinks you the finest girl in Bath {para} Oh Nonsense How can you say so {para} And what do you think I said lowering his voice well done general said I I am quite of your mind {para} Here Catherine who was much less gratified by his admiration than by General Tilney 's was not sorry to be called away by Mr Allen Thorpe however would see her to her chair and till she entered it continued the same kind of delicate flattery in spite of her entreating him to have done {para} That General Tilney instead of disliking should admire her was very delightful and she joyfully thought that there was not one of the family whom she need now fear to meet The evening had done more much more for her than could have been expected {para} CHAPTER 13 {para} Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday and Saturday have now passed in review before the reader the events of each day its hopes and fears mortifications and pleasures have been separately stated and the pangs of Sunday only now remain to be described and close the week The Clifton scheme had been deferred not relinquished and on the afternoon 's crescent of this day it was brought forward again In a private consultation between Isabella and James the former of whom had particularly set her heart upon going and the latter no less anxiously placed his upon pleasing her it was agreed that provided the weather were fair the party should take place on the following morning and they were to set off very early in order to be at home in good time The affair thus determined and Thorpe 's approbation secured Catherine only remained to be apprised of it She had left them for a few minutes to speak to Miss Tilney In that interval the plan was completed and as soon as she came again her agreement was demanded but instead of the gay acquiescence expected by Isabella Catherine looked grave was very sorry but could not go The engagement which ought to have kept her from joining in the former attempt would make it impossible for her to accompany them now She had that moment settled with Miss Tilney to take their proposed walk tomorrow it was quite determined and she would not upon any account retract But that she must and should retract was instantly the eager cry of both the Thorpes they must go to Clifton tomorrow they would not go without her it would be nothing to put off a mere walk for one day longer and they would not hear of a refusal Catherine was distressed but not subdued Do not urge me Isabella I am engaged to Miss Tilney I cannot go This availed nothing The same arguments assailed her again she must go she should go and they would not hear of a refusal It would be so easy to tell Miss Tilney that you had just been reminded of a prior engagement and must only beg to put off the walk till Tuesday {para} No it would not be easy I could not do it There has been no prior engagement But Isabella became only more and more urgent calling on her in the most affectionate manner addressing her by the most endearing names She was sure her dearest sweetest Catherine would not seriously refuse such a trifling request to a friend who loved her so dearly She knew her beloved Catherine to have so feeling a heart so sweet a temper to be so easily persuaded by those she loved But all in vain Catherine felt herself to be in the right and though pained by such tender such flattering supplication could not allow it to influence her Isabella then tried another method She reproached her with having more affection for Miss Tilney though she had known her so little a while than for her best and oldest friends with being grown cold and indifferent in short towards herself I cannot help being jealous Catherine when I see myself slighted for strangers I who love you so excessively When once my affections are placed it is not in the power of anything to change them But I believe my feelings are stronger than anybody 's I am sure they are too strong for my own peace and to see myself supplanted in your friendship by strangers does cut me to the quick I own These Tilneys seem to swallow up everything else {para} Catherine thought this reproach equally strange and unkind Was it the part of a friend thus to expose her feelings to the notice of others Isabella appeared to her ungenerous and selfish regardless of everything but her own gratification These painful ideas crossed her mind though she said nothing Isabella in the meanwhile had applied her handkerchief to her eyes and Morland miserable at such a sight could not help saying Nay Catherine I think you cannot stand out any longer now The sacrifice is not much and to oblige such a friend I shall think you quite unkind if you still refuse {para} This was the first time of her brother 's openly siding against her and anxious to avoid his displeasure she proposed a compromise If they would only put off their scheme till Tuesday which they might easily do as it depended only on themselves she could go with them and everybody might then be satisfied But No no no was the immediate answer that could not be for Thorpe did not know that he might not go to town on Tuesday Catherine was sorry but could do no more and a short silence ensued which was broken by Isabella who in a voice of cold resentment said Very well then there is an end of the party If Catherine does not go I cannot I cannot be the only woman I would not upon any account in the world do so improper a thing {para} Catherine you must go said James {para} But why cannot Mr Thorpe drive one of his other sisters I dare say either of them would like to go {para} Thank ye cried Thorpe but I did not come to Bath to drive my sisters about and look like a fool No if you do not go d me if I do I only go for the sake of driving you {para} That is a compliment which gives me no pleasure But her words were lost on Thorpe who had turned abruptly away {para} The three others still continued together walking in a most uncomfortable manner to poor Catherine sometimes not a word was said sometimes she was again attacked with supplications or reproaches and her arm was still linked within Isabella 's though their hearts were at war At one moment she was softened at another irritated always distressed but always steady {para} I did not think you had been so obstinate Catherine said James you were not used to be so hard to persuade you once were the kindest best tempered of my sisters {para} I hope I am not less so now she replied very feelingly but indeed I cannot go If I am wrong I am doing what I believe to be right {para} I suspect said Isabella in a low voice there is no great struggle {para} Catherine 's heart swelled she drew away her arm and Isabella made no opposition Thus passed a long ten minutes till they were again joined by Thorpe who coming to them with a gayer look said Well I have settled the matter and now we may all go tomorrow with a safe conscience I have been to Miss Tilney and made your excuses {para} You have not cried Catherine {para} I have upon my soul Left her this moment Told her you had sent me to say that having just recollected a prior engagement of going to Clifton with us tomorrow you could not have the pleasure of walking with her till Tuesday She said very well Tuesday was just as convenient to her so there is an end of all our difficulties A pretty good thought of mine hey {para} Isabella 's countenance was once more all smiles and good humour and James too looked happy again {para} A most heavenly thought indeed Now my sweet Catherine all our distresses are over you are honourably acquitted and we shall have a most delightful party {para} This will not do said Catherine I cannot submit to this I must run after Miss Tilney directly and set her right {para} Isabella however caught hold of one hand Thorpe of the other and remonstrances poured in from all three Even James was quite angry When everything was settled when Miss Tilney herself said that Tuesday would suit her as well it was quite ridiculous quite absurd to make any further objection {para} I do not care Mr Thorpe had no business to invent any such message If I had thought it right to put it off I could have spoken to Miss Tilney myself This is only doing it in a ruder way and how do I know that Mr Thorpe has He may be mistaken again perhaps he led me into one act of rudeness by his mistake on Friday Let me go Mr Thorpe Isabella do not hold me {para} Thorpe told her it would be in vain to go after the Tilneys they were turning the corner into Brock Street when he had overtaken them and were at home by this time {para} Then I will go after them said Catherine wherever they are I will go after them It does not signify talking If I could not be persuaded into doing what I thought wrong I never will be tricked into it And with these words she broke away and hurried off Thorpe would have darted after her but Morland withheld him Let her go let her go if she will go She is as obstinate as {para} Thorpe never finished the simile for it could hardly have been a proper one {para} Away walked Catherine in great agitation as fast as the crowd would permit her fearful of being pursued yet determined to persevere As she walked she reflected on what had passed It was painful to her to disappoint and displease them particularly to displease her brother but she could not repent her resistance Setting her own inclination apart to have failed a second time in her engagement to Miss Tilney to have retracted a promise voluntarily made only five minutes before and on a false pretence too must have been wrong She had not been withstanding them on selfish principles alone she had not consulted merely her own gratification that might have been ensured in some degree by the excursion itself by seeing Blaize Castle no she had attended to what was due to others and to her own character in their opinion Her conviction of being right however was not enough to restore her composure till she had spoken to Miss Tilney she could not be at ease and quickening her pace when she got clear of the Crescent she almost ran over the remaining ground till she gained the top of Milsom Street So rapid had been her movements that in spite of the Tilneys advantage in the outset they were but just fuming into their lodgings as she came within view of them and the servant still remaining at the open door she used only the ceremony of saying that she must speak with Miss Tilney that moment and hurrying by him proceeded upstairs Then opening the first door before her which happened to be the right she immediately found herself in the drawing room with General Tilney his son and daughter Her explanation defective only in being from her irritation of nerves and shortness of breath no explanation at all was instantly given I am come in a great hurry It was all a mistake I never promised to go I told them from the first I could not go I ran away in a great hurry to explain it I did not care what you thought of me I would not stay for the servant {para} The business however though not perfectly elucidated by this speech soon ceased to be a puzzle Catherine found that John Thorpe had given the message and Miss Tilney had no scruple in owning herself greatly surprised by it But whether her brother had still exceeded her in resentment Catherine though she instinctively addressed herself as much to one as to the other in her vindication had no means of knowing Whatever might have been felt before her arrival her eager declarations immediately made every look and sentence as friendly as she could desire {para} The affair thus happily settled she was introduced by Miss Tilney to her father and received by him with such ready such solicitous politeness as recalled Thorpe 's information to her mind and made her think with pleasure that he might be sometimes depended on To such anxious attention was the general 's civility carried that not aware of her extraordinary swiftness in entering the house he was quite angry with the servant whose neglect had reduced her to open the door of the apartment herself What did William mean by it He should make a point of inquiring into the matter And if Catherine had not most warmly asserted his innocence it seemed likely that William would lose the favour of his master forever if not his place by her rapidity {para} After sitting with them a quarter of an hour she rose to take leave and was then most agreeably surprised by General Tilney 's asking her if she would do his daughter the honour of dining and spending the rest of the day with her Miss Tilney added her own wishes Catherine was greatly obliged but it was quite out of her power Mr and Mrs Allen would expect her back every moment The general declared he could say no more the claims of Mr and Mrs Allen were not to be superseded but on some other day he trusted when longer notice could be given they would not refuse to spare her to her friend Oh no Catherine was sure they would not have the least objection and she should have great pleasure in coming The general attended her himself to the street door saying everything gallant as they went downstairs admiring the elasticity of her walk which corresponded exactly with the spirit of her dancing and making her one of the most graceful bows she had ever beheld when they parted {para} Catherine delighted by all that had passed proceeded gaily to Pulteney Street walking as she concluded with great elasticity though she had never thought of it before She reached home without seeing anything more of the offended party and now that she had been triumphant throughout had carried her point and was secure of her walk she began as the flutter of her spirits subsided to doubt whether she had been perfectly right A sacrifice was always noble and if she had given way to their entreaties she should have been spared the distressing idea of a friend displeased a brother angry and a scheme of great happiness to both destroyed perhaps through her means To ease her mind and ascertain by the opinion of an unprejudiced person what her own conduct had really been she took occasion to mention before Mr Allen the half settled scheme of her brother and the Thorpes for the following day Mr Allen caught at it directly Well said he and do you think of going too {para} No I had just engaged myself to walk with Miss Tilney before they told me of it and therefore you know I could not go with them could I {para} No certainly not and I am glad you do not think of it These schemes are not at all the thing Young men and women driving about the country in open carriages Now and then it is very well but going to inns and public places together It is not right and I wonder Mrs Thorpe should allow it I am glad you do not think of going I am sure Mrs Morland would not be pleased Mrs Allen are not you of my way of thinking Do not you think these kind of projects objectionable {para} Yes very much so indeed Open carriages are nasty things A clean gown is not five minutes wear in them You are splashed getting in and getting out and the wind takes your hair and your bonnet in every direction I hate an open carriage myself {para} I know you do but that is not the question Do not you think it has an odd appearance if young ladies are frequently driven about in them by young men to whom they are not even related {para} Yes my dear a very odd appearance indeed I cannot bear to see it {para} Dear madam cried Catherine then why did not you tell me so before I am sure if I had known it to be improper I would not have gone with Mr Thorpe at all but I always hoped you would tell me if you thought I was doing wrong {para} And so I should my dear you may depend on it for as I told Mrs Morland at parting I would always do the best for you in my power But one must not be over particular Young people will be young people as your good mother says herself You know I wanted you when we first came not to buy that sprigged muslin but you would Young people do not like to be always thwarted {para} But this was something of real consequence and I do not think you would have found me hard to persuade {para} As far as it has gone hitherto there is no harm done said Mr Allen and I would only advise you my dear not to go out with Mr Thorpe any more {para} That is just what I was going to say added his wife {para} Catherine relieved for herself felt uneasy for Isabella and after a moment 's thought asked Mr Allen whether it would not be both proper and kind in her to write to Miss Thorpe and explain the indecorum of which she must be as insensible as herself for she considered that Isabella might otherwise perhaps be going to Clifton the next day in spite of what had passed Mr Allen however discouraged her from doing any such thing You had better leave her alone my dear she is old enough to know what she is about and if not has a mother to advise her Mrs Thorpe is too indulgent beyond a doubt but however you had better not interfere She and your brother choose to go and you will be only getting ill will {para} Catherine submitted and though sorry to think that Isabella should be doing wrong felt greatly relieved by Mr Allen 's approbation of her own conduct and truly rejoiced to be preserved by his advice from the danger of falling into such an error herself Her escape from being one of the party to Clifton was now an escape indeed for what would the Tilneys have thought of her if she had broken her promise to them in order to do what was wrong in itself if she had been guilty of one breach of propriety only to enable her to be guilty of another {para} CHAPTER 14 {para} The next morning was fair and Catherine almost expected another attack from the assembled party With Mr Allen to support her she felt no dread of the event but she would gladly be spared a contest where victory itself was painful and was heartily rejoiced therefore at neither seeing nor hearing anything of them The Tilneys called for her at the appointed time and no new difficulty arising no sudden recollection no unexpected summons no impertinent intrusion to disconcert their measures my heroine was most unnaturally able to fulfil her engagement though it was made with the hero himself They determined on walking round Beechen Cliff that noble hill whose beautiful verdure and hanging coppice render it so striking an object from almost every opening in Bath {para} I never look at it said Catherine as they walked along the side of the river without thinking of the south of France {para} You have been abroad then said Henry a little surprised {para} Oh No I only mean what I have read about It always puts me in mind of the country that Emily and her father travelled through in The Mysteries of Udolpho But you never read novels I dare say {para} Why not {para} Because they are not clever enough for you gentlemen read better books {para} The person be it gentleman or lady who has not pleasure in a good novel must be intolerably stupid I have read all Mrs Radcliffe 's works and most of them with great pleasure The Mysteries of Udolpho when I had once begun it I could not lay down again I remember finishing it in two days my hair standing on end the whole time {para} Yes added Miss Tilney and I remember that you undertook to read it aloud to me and that when I was called away for only five minutes to answer a note instead of waiting for me you took the volume into the Hermitage Walk and I was obliged to stay till you had finished it {para} Thank you Eleanor a most honourable testimony You see Miss Morland the injustice of your suspicions Here was I in my eagerness to get on refusing to wait only five minutes for my sister breaking the promise I had made of reading it aloud and keeping her in suspense at a most interesting part by running away with the volume which you are to observe was her own particularly her own I am proud when I reflect on it and I think it must establish me in your good opinion {para} I am very glad to hear it indeed and now I shall never be ashamed of liking Udolpho myself But I really thought before young men despised novels amazingly {para} It is amazingly it may well suggest amazement if they do for they read nearly as many as women I myself have read hundreds and hundreds Do not imagine that you can cope with me in a knowledge of Julias and Louisas If we proceed to particulars and engage in the never ceasing inquiry of Have you read this and Have you read that I shall soon leave you as far behind me as what shall I say l want an appropriate simile as far as your friend Emily herself left poor Valancourt when she went with her aunt into Italy Consider how many years I have had the start of you I had entered on my studies at Oxford while you were a good little girl working your sampler at home {para} Not very good I am afraid But now really do not you think Udolpho the nicest book in the world {para} The nicest by which I suppose you mean the neatest That must depend upon the binding {para} Henry said Miss Tilney you are very impertinent Miss Morland he is treating you exactly as he does his sister He is forever finding fault with me for some incorrectness of language and now he is taking the same liberty with you The word nicest as you used it did not suit him and you had better change it as soon as you can or we shall be overpowered with Johnson and Blair all the rest of the way {para} I am sure cried Catherine I did not mean to say anything wrong but it is a nice book and why should not I call it so {para} Very true said Henry and this is a very nice day and we are taking a very nice walk and you are two very nice young ladies Oh It is a very nice word indeed It does for everything Originally perhaps it was applied only to express neatness propriety delicacy or refinement people were nice in their dress in their sentiments or their choice But now every commendation on every subject is comprised in that one word {para} While in fact cried his sister it ought only to be applied to you without any commendation at all You are more nice than wise Come Miss Morland let us leave him to meditate over our faults in the utmost propriety of diction while we praise Udolpho in whatever terms we like best It is a most interesting work You are fond of that kind of reading {para} To say the truth I do not much like any other {para} Indeed {para} That is I can read poetry and plays and things of that sort and do not dislike travels But history real solemn history I cannot be interested in Can you {para} Yes I am fond of history {para} I wish I were too I read it a little as a duty but it tells me nothing that does not either vex or weary me The quarrels of popes and kings with wars or pestilences in every page the men all so good for nothing and hardly any women at all it is very tiresome and yet I often think it odd that it should be so dull for a great deal of it must be invention The speeches that are put into the heroes mouths their thoughts and designs the chief of all this must be invention and invention is what delights me in other books {para} Historians you think said Miss Tilney are not happy in their flights of fancy They display imagination without raising interest I am fond of history and am very well contented to take the false with the true In the principal facts they have sources of intelligence in former histories and records which may be as much depended on I conclude as anything that does not actually pass under one 's own observation and as for the little embellishments you speak of they are embellishments and I like them as such If a speech be well drawn up I read it with pleasure by whomsoever it may be made and probably with much greater if the production of Mr Hume or Mr Robertson than if the genuine words of Caractacus Agricola or Alfred the Great {para} You are fond of history And so are Mr Allen and my father and I have two brothers who do not dislike it So many instances within my small circle of friends is remarkable At this rate I shall not pity the writers of history any longer If people like to read their books it is all very well but to be at so much trouble in filling great volumes which as I used to think nobody would willingly ever look into to be labouring only for the torment of little boys and girls always struck me as a hard fate and though I know it is all very right and necessary I have often wondered at the person 's courage that could sit down on purpose to do it {para} That little boys and girls should be tormented said Henry is what no one at all acquainted with human nature in a civilized state can deny but in behalf of our most distinguished historians I must observe that they might well be offended at being supposed to have no higher aim and that by their method and style they are perfectly well qualified to torment readers of the most advanced reason and mature time of life I use the verb to torment as I observed to be your own method instead of to instruct supposing them to be now admitted as synonymous {para} You think me foolish to call instruction a torment but if you had been as much used as myself to hear poor little children first learning their letters and then learning to spell if you had ever seen how stupid they they can be for a whole morning together and how tired my poor mother is at the end of it as I am in the habit of seeing almost every day of my life at home you would allow that to torment and to instruct might sometimes be used as synonymous words {para} Very probably But historians are not accountable for the difficulty of learning to read and even you yourself who do not altogether seem particularly friendly to very severe very intense application may perhaps be brought to acknowledge that it is very well worth while to be tormented for two or three years of one 's life for the sake of being able to read all the rest of it Consider if reading had not been taught Mrs Radcliffe would have written in vain or perhaps might not have written at all {para} Catherine assented and a very warm panegyric from her on that lady 's merits closed the subject The Tilneys were soon engaged in another on which she had nothing to say They were viewing the country with the eyes of persons accustomed to drawing and decided on its capability of being formed into pictures with all the eagerness of real taste Here Catherine was quite lost She knew nothing of drawing nothing of taste and she listened to them with an attention which brought her little profit for they talked in phrases which conveyed scarcely any idea to her The little which she could understand however appeared to contradict the very few notions she had entertained on the matter before It seemed as if a good view were no longer to be taken from the top of an high hill and that a clear blue sky was no longer a proof of a fine day She was heartily ashamed of her ignorance A misplaced shame Where people wish to attach they should always be ignorant To come with a well informed mind is to come with an inability of administering to the vanity of others which a sensible person would always wish to avoid A woman especially if she have the misfortune of knowing anything should conceal it as well as she can {para} The advantages of natural folly in a beautiful girl have been already set forth by the capital pen of a sister author and to her treatment of the subject I will only add in justice to men that though to the larger and more trifling part of the sex imbecility in females is a great enhancement of their personal charms there is a portion of them too reasonable and too well informed themselves to desire anything more in woman than ignorance But Catherine did not know her own advantages did not know that a good looking girl with an affectionate heart and a very ignorant mind cannot fail of attracting a clever young man unless circumstances are particularly untoward In the present instance she confessed and lamented her want of knowledge declared that she would give anything in the world to be able to draw and a lecture on the picturesque immediately followed in which his instructions were so clear that she soon began to see beauty in everything admired by him and her attention was so earnest that he became perfectly satisfied of her having a great deal of natural taste He talked of foregrounds distances and second distances side screens and perspectives lights and shades and Catherine was so hopeful a scholar that when they gained the top of Beechen Cliff she voluntarily rejected the whole city of Bath as unworthy to make part of a landscape Delighted with her progress and fearful of wearying her with too much wisdom at once Henry suffered the subject to decline and by an easy transition from a piece of rocky fragment and the withered oak which he had placed near its summit to oaks in general to forests the enclosure of them waste lands crown lands and government he shortly found himself arrived at politics and from politics it was an easy step to silence The general pause which succeeded his short disquisition on the state of the nation was put an end to by Catherine who in rather a solemn tone of voice uttered these words I have heard that something very shocking indeed will soon come out in London {para} Miss Tilney to whom this was chiefly addressed was startled and hastily replied Indeed And of what nature That I do not know nor who is the author I have only heard that it is to be more horrible than anything we have met with yet {para} Good heaven Where could you hear of such a thing {para} A particular friend of mine had an account of it in a letter from London yesterday It is to be uncommonly dreadful I shall expect murder and everything of the kind {para} You speak with astonishing composure But I hope your friend 's accounts have been exaggerated and if such a design is known beforehand proper measures will undoubtedly be taken by government to prevent its coming to effect {para} Government said Henry endeavouring not to smile neither desires nor dares to interfere in such matters There must be murder and government cares not how much {para} The ladies stared He laughed and added Come shall I make you understand each other or leave you to puzzle out an explanation as you can No I will be noble I will prove myself a man no less by the generosity of my soul than the clearness of my head I have no patience with such of my sex as disdain to let themselves sometimes down to the comprehension of yours Perhaps the abilities of women are neither sound nor acute neither vigorous nor keen Perhaps they may want observation discernment judgment fire genius and wit {para} Miss Morland do not mind what he says but have the goodness to satisfy me as to this dreadful riot {para} Riot What riot {para} My dear Eleanor the riot is only in your own brain The confusion there is scandalous Miss Morland has been talking of nothing more dreadful than a new publication which is shortly to come out in three duodecimo volumes two hundred and seventy six pages in each with a frontispiece to the first of two tombstones and a lantern do you understand And you Miss Morland my stupid sister has mistaken all your clearest expressions You talked of expected horrors in London and instead of instantly conceiving as any rational creature would have done that such words could relate only to a circulating library she immediately pictured to herself a mob of three thousand men assembling in St George 's Fields the Bank attacked the Tower threatened the streets of London flowing with blood a detachment of the Twelfth Light Dragoons the hopes of the nation called up from Northampton to quell the insurgents and the gallant Captain Frederick Tilney in the moment of charging at the head of his troop knocked off his horse by a brickbat from an upper window Forgive her stupidity The fears of the sister have added to the weakness of the woman but she is by no means a simpleton in general {para} Catherine looked grave And now Henry said Miss Tilney that you have made us understand each other you may as well make Miss Morland understand yourself unless you mean to have her think you intolerably rude to your sister and a great brute in your opinion of women in general Miss Morland is not used to your odd ways {para} I shall be most happy to make her better acquainted with them {para} No doubt but that is no explanation of the present {para} What am I to do {para} You know what you ought to do Clear your character handsomely before her Tell her that you think very highly of the understanding of women {para} Miss Morland I think very highly of the understanding of all the women in the world especially of those whoever they may be with whom I happen to be in company {para} That is not enough Be more serious {para} Miss Morland no one can think more highly of the understanding of women than I do In my opinion nature has given them so much that they never find it necessary to use more than half {para} We shall get nothing more serious from him now Miss Morland He is not in a sober mood But I do assure you that he must be entirely misunderstood if he can ever appear to say an unjust thing of any woman at all or an unkind one of me {para} It was no effort to Catherine to believe that Henry Tilney could never be wrong His manner might sometimes surprise but his meaning must always be just and what she did not understand she was almost as ready to admire as what she did The whole walk was delightful and though it ended too soon its conclusion was delightful too her friends attended her into the house and Miss Tilney before they parted addressing herself with respectful form as much to Mrs Allen as to Catherine petitioned for the pleasure of her company to dinner on the day after the next No difficulty was made on Mrs Allen 's side and the only difficulty on Catherine 's was in concealing the excess of her pleasure {para} The morning had passed away so charmingly as to banish all her friendship and natural affection for no thought of Isabella or James had crossed her during their walk When the Tilneys were gone she became amiable again but she was amiable for some time to little effect Mrs Allen had no intelligence to give that could relieve her anxiety she had heard nothing of any of them Towards the end of the morning however Catherine having occasion for some indispensable yard of ribbon which must be bought without a moment 's delay walked out into the town and in Bond Street overtook the second Miss Thorpe as she was loitering towards Edgar 's Buildings between two of the sweetest girls in the world who had been her dear friends all the morning From her she soon learned that the party to Clifton had taken place They set off at eight this morning said Miss Anne and I am sure I do not envy them their drive I think you and I are very well off to be out of the scrape it must be the dullest thing in the world for there is not a soul at Clifton at this time of year Belle went with your brother and John drove Maria {para} Catherine spoke the pleasure she really felt on hearing this part of the arrangement {para} Oh yes rejoined the other Maria is gone She was quite wild to go She thought it would be something very fine I cannot say I admire her taste and for my part I was determined from the first not to go if they pressed me ever so much {para} Catherine a little doubtful of this could not help answering I wish you could have gone too It is a pity you could not all go {para} Thank you but it is quite a matter of indifference to me Indeed I would not have gone on any account I was saying so to Emily and Sophia when you overtook us {para} Catherine was still unconvinced but glad that Anne should have the friendship of an Emily and a Sophia to console her she bade her adieu without much uneasiness and returned home pleased that the party had not been prevented by her refusing to join it and very heartily wishing that it might be too pleasant to allow either James or Isabella to resent her resistance any longer {para} CHAPTER 15 {para} Early the next day a note from Isabella speaking peace and tenderness in every line and entreating the immediate presence of her friend on a matter of the utmost importance hastened Catherine in the happiest state of confidence and curiosity to Edgar 's Buildings The two youngest Miss Thorpes were by themselves in the parlour and on Anne 's quitting it to call her sister Catherine took the opportunity of asking the other for some particulars of their yesterday 's party Maria desired no greater pleasure than to speak of it and Catherine immediately learnt that it had been altogether the most delightful scheme in the world that nobody could imagine how charming it had been and that it had been more delightful than anybody could conceive Such was the information of the first five minutes the second unfolded thus much in detail that they had driven directly to the York Hotel ate some soup and bespoke an early dinner walked down to the pump room tasted the water and laid out some shillings in purses and spars thence adjoined to eat ice at a pastry cook 's and hurrying back to the hotel swallowed their dinner in haste to prevent being in the dark and then had a delightful drive back only the moon was not up and it rained a little and Mr Morland 's horse was so tired he could hardly get it along {para} Catherine listened with heartfelt satisfaction It appeared that Blaize Castle had never been thought of and as for all the rest there was nothing to regret for half an instant Maria 's intelligence concluded with a tender effusion of pity for her sister Anne whom she represented as insupportably cross from being excluded the party {para} She will never forgive me I am sure but you know how could I help it John would have me go for he vowed he would not drive her because she had such thick ankles I dare say she will not be in good humour again this month but I am determined I will not be cross it is not a little matter that puts me out of temper {para} Isabella now entered the room with so eager a step and a look of such happy importance as engaged all her friend 's notice Maria was without ceremony sent away and Isabella embracing Catherine thus began Yes my dear Catherine it is so indeed your penetration has not deceived you Oh That arch eye of yours It sees through everything {para} Catherine replied only by a look of wondering ignorance {para} Nay my beloved sweetest friend continued the other compose yourself I am amazingly agitated as you perceive Let us sit down and talk in comfort Well and so you guessed it the moment you had my note Sly creature Oh My dear Catherine you alone who know my heart can judge of my present happiness Your brother is the most charming of men I only wish I were more worthy of him But what will your excellent father and mother say Oh Heavens When I think of them I am so agitated {para} Catherine 's understanding began to awake an idea of the truth suddenly darted into her mind and with the natural blush of so new an emotion she cried out Good heaven My dear Isabella what do you mean Can you can you really be in love with James {para} This bold surmise however she soon learnt comprehended but half the fact The anxious affection which she was accused of having continually watched in Isabella 's every look and action had in the course of their yesterday 's party received the delightful confession of an equal love Her heart and faith were alike engaged to James Never had Catherine listened to anything so full of interest wonder and joy Her brother and her friend engaged New to such circumstances the importance of it appeared unspeakably great and she contemplated it as one of those grand events of which the ordinary course of life can hardly afford a return The strength of her feelings she could not express the nature of them however contented her friend The happiness of having such a sister was their first effusion and the fair ladies mingled in embraces and tears of joy {para} Delighting however as Catherine sincerely did in the prospect of the connection it must be acknowledged that Isabella far surpassed her in tender anticipations You will be so infinitely dearer to me my Catherine than either Anne or Maria I feel that I shall be so much more attached to my dear Morland 's family than to my own {para} This was a pitch of friendship beyond Catherine {para} You are so like your dear brother continued Isabella that I quite doted on you the first moment I saw you But so it always is with me the first moment settles everything The very first day that Morland came to us last Christmas the very first moment I beheld him my heart was irrecoverably gone I remember I wore my yellow gown with my hair done up in braids and when I came into the drawing room and John introduced him I thought I never saw anybody so handsome before {para} Here Catherine secretly acknowledged the power of love for though exceedingly fond of her brother and partial to all his endowments she had never in her life thought him handsome {para} I remember too Miss Andrews drank tea with us that evening and wore her puce coloured sarsenet and she looked so heavenly that I thought your brother must certainly fall in love with her I could not sleep a wink all right for thinking of it Oh Catherine the many sleepless nights I have had on your brother 's account I would not have you suffer half what I have done I am grown wretchedly thin I know but I will not pain you by describing my anxiety you have seen enough of it I feel that I have betrayed myself perpetually so unguarded in speaking of my partiality for the church But my secret I was always sure would be safe with you {para} Catherine felt that nothing could have been safer but ashamed of an ignorance little expected she dared no longer contest the point nor refuse to have been as full of arch penetration and affectionate sympathy as Isabella chose to consider her Her brother she found was preparing to set off with all speed to Fullerton to make known his situation and ask consent and here was a source of some real agitation to the mind of Isabella Catherine endeavoured to persuade her as she was herself persuaded that her father and mother would never oppose their son 's wishes It is impossible said she for parents to be more kind or more desirous of their children 's happiness I have no doubt of their consenting immediately {para} Morland says exactly the same replied Isabella and yet I dare not expect it my fortune will be so small they never can consent to it Your brother who might marry anybody {para} Here Catherine again discerned the force of love {para} Indeed Isabella you are too humble The difference of fortune can be nothing to signify {para} Oh My sweet Catherine in your generous heart I know it would signify nothing but we must not expect such disinterestedness in many As for myself I am sure I only wish our situations were reversed Had I the command of millions were I mistress of the whole world your brother would be my only choice {para} This charming sentiment recommended as much by sense as novelty gave Catherine a most pleasing remembrance of all the heroines of her acquaintance and she thought her friend never looked more lovely than in uttering the grand idea I am sure they will consent was her frequent declaration I am sure they will be delighted with you {para} For my own part said Isabella my wishes are so moderate that the smallest income in nature would be enough for me Where people are really attached poverty itself is wealth grandeur I detest I would not settle in London for the universe A cottage in some retired village would be ecstasy There are some charming little villas about Richmond {para} Richmond cried Catherine You must settle near Fullerton You must be near us {para} I am sure I shall be miserable if we do not If I can but be near you I shall be satisfied But this is idle talking I will not allow myself to think of such things till we have your father 's answer Morland says that by sending it tonight to Salisbury we may have it tomorrow Tomorrow I know I shall never have courage to open the letter I know it will be the death of me {para} A reverie succeeded this conviction and when Isabella spoke again it was to resolve on the quality of her wedding gown {para} Their conference was put an end to by the anxious young lover himself who came to breathe his parting sigh before he set off for Wiltshire Catherine wished to congratulate him but knew not what to say and her eloquence was only in her eyes From them however the eight parts of speech shone out most expressively and James could combine them with ease Impatient for the realization of all that he hoped at home his adieus were not long and they would have been yet shorter had he not been frequently detained by the urgent entreaties of his fair one that he would go Twice was he called almost from the door by her eagerness to have him gone Indeed Morland I must drive you away Consider how far you have to ride I cannot bear to see you linger so For heaven 's sake waste no more time There go go I insist on it {para} The two friends with hearts now more united than ever were inseparable for the day and in schemes of sisterly happiness the hours flew along Mrs Thorpe and her son who were acquainted with everything and who seemed only to want Mr Morland 's consent to consider Isabella 's engagement as the most fortunate circumstance imaginable for their family were allowed to join their counsels and add their quota of significant looks and mysterious expressions to fill up the measure of curiosity to be raised in the unprivileged younger sisters To Catherine 's simple feelings this odd sort of reserve seemed neither kindly meant nor consistently supported and its unkindness she would hardly have forborne pointing out had its inconsistency been less their friend but Anne and Maria soon set her heart at ease by the sagacity of their I know what and the evening was spent in a sort of war of wit a display of family ingenuity on one side in the mystery of an affected secret on the other of undefined discovery all equally acute {para} Catherine was with her friend again the next day endeavouring to support her spirits and while away the many tedious hours before the delivery of the letters a needful exertion for as the time of reasonable expectation drew near Isabella became more and more desponding and before the letter arrived had worked herself into a state of real distress But when it did come where could distress be found I have had no difficulty in gaining the consent of my kind parents and am promised that everything in their power shall be done to forward my happiness were the first three lines and in one moment all was joyful security The brightest glow was instantly spread over Isabella 's features all care and anxiety seemed removed her spirits became almost too high for control and she called herself without scruple the happiest of mortals {para} Mrs Thorpe with tears of joy embraced her daughter her son her visitor and could have embraced half the inhabitants of Bath with satisfaction Her heart was overflowing with tenderness It was dear John and dear Catherine at every word dear Anne and dear Maria must immediately be made sharers in their felicity and two dears at once before the name of Isabella were not more than that beloved child had now well earned John himself was no skulker in joy He not only bestowed on Mr Morland the high commendation of being one of the finest fellows in the world but swore off many sentences in his praise {para} The letter whence sprang all this felicity was short containing little more than this assurance of success and every particular was deferred till James could write again But for particulars Isabella could well afford to wait The needful was comprised in Mr Morland 's promise his honour was pledged to make everything easy and by what means their income was to be formed whether landed property were to be resigned or funded money made over was a matter in which her disinterested spirit took no concern She knew enough to feel secure of an honourable and speedy establishment and her imagination took a rapid flight over its attendant felicities She saw herself at the end of a few weeks the gaze and admiration of every new acquaintance at Fullerton the envy of every valued old friend in Putney with a carriage at her command a new name on her tickets and a brilliant exhibition of hoop rings on her finger {para} When the contents of the letter were ascertained John Thorpe who had only waited its arrival to begin his journey to London prepared to set off Well Miss Morland said he on finding her alone in the parlour I am come to bid you good bye Catherine wished him a good journey Without appearing to hear her he walked to the window fidgeted about hummed a tune and seemed wholly self occupied {para} Shall not you be late at Devizes said Catherine He made no answer but after a minute 's silence burst out with A famous good thing this marrying scheme upon my soul A clever fancy of Morland 's and Belle 's What do you think of it Miss Morland I say it is no bad notion {para} I am sure I think it a very good one {para} Do you That 's honest by heavens I am glad you are no enemy to matrimony however Did you ever hear the old song Going to One Wedding Brings on Another I say you will come to Belle 's wedding I hope {para} Yes I have promised your sister to be with her if possible {para} And then you know twisting himself about and forcing a foolish laugh I say then you know we may try the truth of this same old song {para} May we But I never sing Well I wish you a good journey I dine with Miss Tilney today and must now be going home {para} Nay but there is no such confounded hurry Who knows when we may be together again Not but that I shall be down again by the end of a fortnight and a devilish long fortnight it will appear to me {para} Then why do you stay away so long replied Catherine finding that he waited for an answer {para} That is kind of you however kind and good natured I shall not forget it in a hurry But you have more good nature and all that than anybody living I believe A monstrous deal of good nature and it is not only good nature but you have so much so much of everything and then you have such upon my soul I do not know anybody like you {para} Oh dear there are a great many people like me I dare say only a great deal better Good morning to you {para} But I say Miss Morland I shall come and pay my respects at Fullerton before it is long if not disagreeable {para} Pray do My father and mother will be very glad to see you {para} And I hope I hope Miss Morland you will not be sorry to see me {para} Oh dear not at all There are very few people I am sorry to see Company is always cheerful {para} That is just my way of thinking Give me but a little cheerful company let me only have the company of the people I love let me only be where I like and with whom I like and the devil take the rest say I And I am heartily glad to hear you say the same But I have a notion Miss Morland you and I think pretty much alike upon most matters {para} Perhaps we may but it is more than I ever thought of And as to most matters to say the truth there are not many that I know my own mind about {para} By Jove no more do I It is not my way to bother my brains with what does not concern me My notion of things is simple enough Let me only have the girl I like say I with a comfortable house over my head and what care I for all the rest Fortune is nothing I am sure of a good income of my own and if she had not a penny why so much the better {para} Very true I think like you there If there is a good fortune on one side there can be no occasion for any on the other No matter which has it so that there is enough I hate the idea of one great fortune looking out for another And to marry for money I think the wickedest thing in existence Good day We shall be very glad to see you at Fullerton whenever it is convenient And away she went It was not in the power of all his gallantry to detain her longer With such news to communicate and such a visit to prepare for her departure was not to be delayed by anything in his nature to urge and she hurried away leaving him to the undivided consciousness of his own happy address and her explicit encouragement {para} The agitation which she had herself experienced on first learning her brother 's engagement made her expect to raise no inconsiderable emotion in Mr and Mrs Allen by the communication of the wonderful event How great was her disappointment The important affair which many words of preparation ushered in had been foreseen by them both ever since her brother 's arrival and all that they felt on the occasion was comprehended in a wish for the young people 's happiness with a remark on the gentleman 's side in favour of Isabella 's beauty and on the lady 's of her great good luck It was to Catherine the most surprising insensibility The disclosure however of the great secret of James 's going to Fullerton the day before did raise some emotion in Mrs Allen She could not listen to that with perfect calmness but repeatedly regretted the necessity of its concealment wished she could have known his intention wished she could have seen him before he went as she should certainly have troubled him with her best regards to his father and mother and her kind compliments to all the Skinners {para} CHAPTER 16 {para} Catherine 's expectations of pleasure from her visit in Milsom Street were so very high that disappointment was inevitable and accordingly though she was most politely received by General Tilney and kindly welcomed by his daughter though Henry was at home and no one else of the party she found on her return without spending many hours in the examination of her feelings that she had gone to her appointment preparing for happiness which it had not afforded Instead of finding herself improved in acquaintance with Miss Tilney from the intercourse of the day she seemed hardly so intimate with her as before instead of seeing Henry Tilney to greater advantage than ever in the ease of a family party he had never said so little nor been so little agreeable and in spite of their father 's great civilities to her in spite of his thanks invitations and compliments it had been a release to get away from him It puzzled her to account for all this It could not be General Tilney 's fault That he was perfectly agreeable and good natured and altogether a very charming man did not admit of a doubt for he was tall and handsome and Henry 's father He could not be accountable for his children 's want of spirits or for her want of enjoyment in his company The former she hoped at last might have been accidental and the latter she could only attribute to her own stupidity Isabella on hearing the particulars of the visit gave a different explanation It was all pride pride insufferable haughtiness and pride She had long suspected the family to be very high and this made it certain Such insolence of behaviour as Miss Tilney 's she had never heard of in her life Not to do the honours of her house with common good breeding To behave to her guest with such superciliousness Hardly even to speak to her {para} But it was not so bad as that Isabella there was no superciliousness she was very civil {para} Oh Don't defend her And then the brother he who had appeared so attached to you Good heavens Well some people 's feelings are incomprehensible And so he hardly looked once at you the whole day {para} I do not say so but he did not seem in good spirits {para} How contemptible Of all things in the world inconstancy is my aversion Let me entreat you never to think of him again my dear Catherine indeed he is unworthy of you {para} Unworthy I do not suppose he ever thinks of me That is exactly what I say he never thinks of you Such fickleness Oh How different to your brother and to mine I really believe John has the most constant heart {para} But as for General Tilney I assure you it would be impossible for anybody to behave to me with greater civility and attention it seemed to be his only care to entertain and make me happy {para} Oh I know no harm of him I do not suspect him of pride I believe he is a very gentleman like man John thinks very well of him and John 's judgment {para} Well I shall see how they behave to me this evening we shall meet them at the rooms {para} And must I go {para} Do not you intend it I thought it was all settled {para} Nay since you make such a point of it I can refuse you nothing But do not insist upon my being very agreeable for my heart you know will be some forty miles off And as for dancing do not mention it I beg that is quite out of the question Charles Hodges will plague me to death I dare say but I shall cut him very short Ten to one but he guesses the reason and that is exactly what I want to avoid so I shall insist on his keeping his conjecture to himself {para} Isabella 's opinion of the Tilneys did not influence her friend she was sure there had been no insolence in the manners either of brother or sister and she did not credit there being any pride in their hearts The evening rewarded her confidence she was met by one with the same kindness and by the other with the same attention as heretofore Miss Tilney took pains to be near her and Henry asked her to dance {para} Having heard the day before in Milsom Street that their elder brother Captain Tilney was expected almost every hour she was at no loss for the name of a very fashionable looking handsome young man whom she had never seen before and who now evidently belonged to their party She looked at him with great admiration and even supposed it possible that some people might think him handsomer than his brother though in her eyes his air was more assuming and his countenance less prepossessing His taste and manners were beyond a doubt decidedly inferior for within her hearing he not only protested against every thought of dancing himself but even laughed openly at Henry for finding it possible From the latter circumstance it may be presumed that whatever might be our heroine 's opinion of him his admiration of her was not of a very dangerous kind not likely to produce animosities between the brothers nor persecutions to the lady He cannot be the instigator of the three villains in horsemen 's greatcoats by whom she will hereafter be forced into a traveling chaise and four which will drive off with incredible speed Catherine meanwhile undisturbed by presentiments of such an evil or of any evil at all except that of having but a short set to dance down enjoyed her usual happiness with Henry Tilney listening with sparkling eyes to everything he said and in finding him irresistible becoming so herself {para} At the end of the first dance Captain Tilney came towards them again and much to Catherine 's dissatisfaction pulled his brother away They retired whispering together and though her delicate sensibility did not take immediate alarm and lay it down as fact that Captain Tilney must have heard some malevolent misrepresentation of her which he now hastened to communicate to his brother in the hope of separating them forever she could not have her partner conveyed from her sight without very uneasy sensations Her suspense was of full five minutes duration and she was beginning to think it a very long quarter of an hour when they both returned and an explanation was given by Henry 's requesting to know if she thought her friend Miss Thorpe would have any objection to dancing as his brother would be most happy to be introduced to her Catherine without hesitation replied that she was very sure Miss Thorpe did not mean to dance at all The cruel reply was passed on to the other and he immediately walked away {para} Your brother will not mind it I know said she because I heard him say before that he hated dancing but it was very good natured in him to think of it I suppose he saw Isabella sitting down and fancied she might wish for a partner but he is quite mistaken for she would not dance upon any account in the world {para} Henry smiled and said How very little trouble it can give you to understand the motive of other people 's actions {para} Why What do you mean {para} With you it is not How is such a one likely to be influenced What is the inducement most likely to act upon such a person 's feelings age situation and probable habits of life considered but How should I be influenced What would be my inducement in acting so and so {para} I do not understand you {para} Then we are on very unequal terms for I understand you perfectly well {para} Me Yes I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible {para} Bravo An excellent satire on modern language {para} But pray tell me what you mean {para} Shall I indeed Do you really desire it But you are not aware of the consequences it will involve you in a very cruel embarrassment and certainly bring on a disagreement between us {para} No no it shall not do either I am not afraid {para} Well then I only meant that your attributing my brother 's wish of dancing with Miss Thorpe to good nature alone convinced me of your being superior in good nature yourself to all the rest of the world {para} Catherine blushed and disclaimed and the gentleman 's predictions were verified There was a something however in his words which repaid her for the pain of confusion and that something occupied her mind so much that she drew back for some time forgetting to speak or to listen and almost forgetting where she was till roused by the voice of Isabella she looked up and saw her with Captain Tilney preparing to give them hands across {para} Isabella shrugged her shoulders and smiled the only explanation of this extraordinary change which could at that time be given but as it was not quite enough for Catherine 's comprehension she spoke her astonishment in very plain terms to her partner {para} I cannot think how it could happen Isabella was so determined not to dance {para} And did Isabella never change her mind before {para} Oh But because And your brother After what you told him from me how could he think of going to ask her {para} I cannot take surprise to myself on that head You bid me be surprised on your friend 's account and therefore I am but as for my brother his conduct in the business I must own has been no more than I believed him perfectly equal to The fairness of your friend was an open attraction her firmness you know could only be understood by yourself {para} You are laughing but I assure you Isabella is very firm in general {para} It is as much as should be said of anyone To be always firm must be to be often obstinate When properly to relax is the trial of judgment and without reference to my brother I really think Miss Thorpe has by no means chosen ill in fixing on the present hour {para} The friends were not able to get together for any confidential discourse till all the dancing was over but then as they walked about the room arm in arm Isabella thus explained herself I do not wonder at your surprise and I am really fatigued to death He is such a rattle Amusing enough if my mind had been disengaged but I would have given the world to sit still {para} Then why did not you {para} Oh My dear It would have looked so particular and you know how I abhor doing that I refused him as long as I possibly could but he would take no denial You have no idea how he pressed me I begged him to excuse me and get some other partner but no not he after aspiring to my hand there was nobody else in the room he could bear to think of and it was not that he wanted merely to dance he wanted to be with me Oh Such nonsense I told him he had taken a very unlikely way to prevail upon me for of all things in the world I hated fine speeches and compliments and so and so then I found there would be no peace if I did not stand up Besides I thought Mrs Hughes who introduced him might take it ill if I did not and your dear brother I am sure he would have been miserable if I had sat down the whole evening I am so glad it is over My spirits are quite jaded with listening to his nonsense and then being such a smart young fellow I saw every eye was upon us {para} He is very handsome indeed {para} Handsome Yes I suppose he may I dare say people would admire him in general but he is not at all in my style of beauty I hate a florid complexion and dark eyes in a man However he is very well Amazingly conceited I am sure I took him down several times you know in my way {para} When the young ladies next met they had a far more interesting subject to discuss James Morland 's second letter was then received and the kind intentions of his father fully explained A living of which Mr Morland was himself patron and incumbent of about four hundred pounds yearly value was to be resigned to his son as soon as he should be old enough to take it no trifling deduction from the family income no niggardly assignment to one of ten children An estate of at least equal value moreover was assured as his future inheritance {para} James expressed himself on the occasion with becoming gratitude and the necessity of waiting between two and three years before they could marry being however unwelcome no more than he had expected was borne by him without discontent Catherine whose expectations had been as unfixed as her ideas of her father 's income and whose judgment was now entirely led by her brother felt equally well satisfied and heartily congratulated Isabella on having everything so pleasantly settled {para} It is very charming indeed said Isabella with a grave face Mr Morland has behaved vastly handsome indeed said the gentle Mrs Thorpe looking anxiously at her daughter I only wish I could do as much One could not expect more from him you know If he finds he can do more by and by I dare say he will for I am sure he must be an excellent good hearted man Four hundred is but a small income to begin on indeed but your wishes my dear Isabella are so moderate you do not consider how little you ever want my dear {para} It is not on my own account I wish for more but I cannot bear to be the means of injuring my dear Morland making him sit down upon an income hardly enough to find one in the common necessaries of life For myself it is nothing I never think of myself {para} I know you never do my dear and you will always find your reward in the affection it makes everybody feel for you There never was a young woman so beloved as you are by everybody that knows you and I dare say when Mr Morland sees you my dear child but do not let us distress our dear Catherine by talking of such things Mr Morland has behaved so very handsome you know I always heard he was a most excellent man and you know my dear we are not to suppose but what if you had had a suitable fortune he would have come down with something more for I am sure he must be a most liberal minded man {para} Nobody can think better of Mr Morland than I do I am sure But everybody has their failing you know and everybody has a right to do what they like with their own money Catherine was hurt by these insinuations I am very sure said she that my father has promised to do as much as he can afford {para} Isabella recollected herself As to that my sweet Catherine there cannot be a doubt and you know me well enough to be sure that a much smaller income would satisfy me It is not the want of more money that makes me just at present a little out of spirits I hate money and if our union could take place now upon only fifty pounds a year I should not have a wish unsatisfied Ah my Catherine you have found me out There 's the sting The long long endless two years and half that are to pass before your brother can hold the living {para} Yes yes my darling Isabella said Mrs Thorpe we perfectly see into your heart You have no disguise We perfectly understand the present vexation and everybody must love you the better for such a noble honest affection {para} Catherine 's uncomfortable feelings began to lessen She endeavoured to believe that the delay of the marriage was the only source of Isabella 's regret and when she saw her at their next interview as cheerful and amiable as ever endeavoured to forget that she had for a minute thought otherwise James soon followed his letter and was received with the most gratifying kindness {para} CHAPTER 17 {para} The Allens had now entered on the sixth week of their stay in Bath and whether it should be the last was for some time a question to which Catherine listened with a beating heart To have her acquaintance with the Tilneys end so soon was an evil which nothing could counterbalance Her whole happiness seemed at stake while the affair was in suspense and everything secured when it was determined that the lodgings should be taken for another fortnight What this additional fortnight was to produce to her beyond the pleasure of sometimes seeing Henry Tilney made but a small part of Catherine 's speculation Once or twice indeed since James 's engagement had taught her what could be done she had got so far as to indulge in a secret perhaps but in general the felicity of being with him for the present bounded her views the present was now comprised in another three weeks and her happiness being certain for that period the rest of her life was at such a distance as to excite but little interest In the course of the morning which saw this business arranged she visited Miss Tilney and poured forth her joyful feelings It was doomed to be a day of trial No sooner had she expressed her delight in Mr Allen 's lengthened stay than Miss Tilney told her of her father 's having just determined upon quitting Bath by the end of another week Here was a blow The past suspense of the morning had been ease and quiet to the present disappointment Catherine 's countenance fell and in a voice of most sincere concern she echoed Miss Tilney 's concluding words By the end of another week {para} Yes my father can seldom be prevailed on to give the waters what I think a fair trial He has been disappointed of some friends arrival whom he expected to meet here and as he is now pretty well is in a hurry to get home {para} I am very sorry for it said Catherine dejectedly if I had known this before {para} Perhaps said Miss Tilney in an embarrassed manner you would be so good it would make me very happy if {para} The entrance of her father put a stop to the civility which Catherine was beginning to hope might introduce a desire of their corresponding After addressing her with his usual politeness he turned to his daughter and said Well Eleanor may I congratulate you on being successful in your application to your fair friend {para} I was just beginning to make the request sir as you came in {para} Well proceed by all means I know how much your heart is in it My daughter Miss Morland he continued without leaving his daughter time to speak has been forming a very bold wish We leave Bath as she has perhaps told you on Saturday se'nnight A letter from my steward tells me that my presence is wanted at home and being disappointed in my hope of seeing the Marquis of Longtown and General Courteney here some of my very old friends there is nothing to detain me longer in Bath And could we carry our selfish point with you we should leave it without a single regret Can you in short be prevailed on to quit this scene of public triumph and oblige your friend Eleanor with your company in Gloucestershire I am almost ashamed to make the request though its presumption would certainly appear greater to every creature in Bath than yourself Modesty such as yours but not for the world would I pain it by open praise If you can be induced to honour us with a visit you will make us happy beyond expression Tis true we can offer you nothing like the gaieties of this lively place we can tempt you neither by amusement nor splendour for our mode of living as you see is plain and unpretending yet no endeavours shall be wanting on our side to make Northanger Abbey not wholly disagreeable {para} Northanger Abbey These were thrilling words and wound up Catherine 's feelings to the highest point of ecstasy Her grateful and gratified heart could hardly restrain its expressions within the language of tolerable calmness To receive so flattering an invitation To have her company so warmly solicited Everything honourable and soothing every present enjoyment and every future hope was contained in it and her acceptance with only the saving clause of Papa and Mamma 's approbation was eagerly given I will write home directly said she and if they do not object as I dare say they will not {para} General Tilney was not less sanguine having already waited on her excellent friends in Pulteney Street and obtained their sanction of his wishes Since they can consent to part with you said he we may expect philosophy from all the world {para} Miss Tilney was earnest though gentle in her secondary civilities and the affair became in a few minutes as nearly settled as this necessary reference to Fullerton would allow {para} The circumstances of the morning had led Catherine 's feelings through the varieties of suspense security and disappointment but they were now safely lodged in perfect bliss and with spirits elated to rapture with Henry at her heart and Northanger Abbey on her lips she hurried home to write her letter Mr and Mrs Morland relying on the discretion of the friends to whom they had already entrusted their daughter felt no doubt of the propriety of an acquaintance which had been formed under their eye and sent therefore by return of post their ready consent to her visit in Gloucestershire This indulgence though not more than Catherine had hoped for completed her conviction of being favoured beyond every other human creature in friends and fortune circumstance and chance Everything seemed to cooperate for her advantage By the kindness of her first friends the Allens she had been introduced into scenes where pleasures of every kind had met her Her feelings her preferences had each known the happiness of a return Wherever she felt attachment she had been able to create it The affection of Isabella was to be secured to her in a sister The Tilneys they by whom above all she desired to be favourably thought of outstripped even her wishes in the flattering measures by which their intimacy was to be continued She was to be their chosen visitor she was to be for weeks under the same roof with the person whose society she mostly prized and in addition to all the rest this roof was to be the roof of an abbey Her passion for ancient edifices was next in degree to her passion for Henry Tilney and castles and abbeys made usually the charm of those reveries which his image did not fill To see and explore either the ramparts and keep of the one or the cloisters of the other had been for many weeks a darling wish though to be more than the visitor of an hour had seemed too nearly impossible for desire And yet this was to happen With all the chances against her of house hall place park court and cottage Northanger turned up an abbey and she was to be its inhabitant Its long damp passages its narrow cells and ruined chapel were to be within her daily reach and she could not entirely subdue the hope of some traditional legends some awful memorials of an injured and ill fated nun {para} It was wonderful that her friends should seem so little elated by the possession of such a home that the consciousness of it should be so meekly borne The power of early habit only could account for it A distinction to which they had been born gave no pride Their superiority of abode was no more to them than their superiority of person {para} Many were the inquiries she was eager to make of Miss Tilney but so active were her thoughts that when these inquiries were answered she was hardly more assured than before of Northanger Abbey having been a richly endowed convent at the time of the Reformation of its having fallen into the hands of an ancestor of the Tilneys on its dissolution of a large portion of the ancient building still making a part of the present dwelling although the rest was decayed or of its standing low in a valley sheltered from the north and east by rising woods of oak {para} CHAPTER 18 {para} With a mind thus full of happiness Catherine was hardly aware that two or three days had passed away without her seeing Isabella for more than a few minutes together She began first to be sensible of this and to sigh for her conversation as she walked along the pump room one morning by Mrs Allen 's side without anything to say or to hear and scarcely had she felt a five minutes longing of friendship before the object of it appeared and inviting her to a secret conference led the way to a seat This is my favourite place said she as they sat down on a bench between the doors which commanded a tolerable view of everybody entering at either it is so out of the way {para} Catherine observing that Isabella 's eyes were continually bent towards one door or the other as in eager expectation and remembering how often she had been falsely accused of being arch thought the present a fine opportunity for being really so and therefore gaily said Do not be uneasy Isabella James will soon be here {para} Psha My dear creature she replied do not think me such a simpleton as to be always wanting to confine him to my elbow It would be hideous to be always together we should be the jest of the place And so you are going to Northanger I am amazingly glad of it It is one of the finest old places in England I understand I shall depend upon a most particular description of it {para} You shall certainly have the best in my power to give But who are you looking for Are your sisters coming {para} I am not looking for anybody One 's eyes must be somewhere and you know what a foolish trick I have of fixing mine when my thoughts are an hundred miles off I am amazingly absent I believe I am the most absent creature in the world Tilney says it is always the case with minds of a certain stamp {para} But I thought Isabella you had something in particular to tell me {para} Oh Yes and so I have But here is a proof of what I was saying My poor head I had quite forgot it Well the thing is this I have just had a letter from John you can guess the contents {para} No indeed I cannot {para} My sweet love do not be so abominably affected What can he write about but yourself You know he is over head and ears in love with you {para} With me dear Isabella {para} Nay my sweetest Catherine this is being quite absurd Modesty and all that is very well in its way but really a little common honesty is sometimes quite as becoming I have no idea of being so overstrained It is fishing for compliments His attentions were such as a child must have noticed And it was but half an hour before he left Bath that you gave him the most positive encouragement He says so in this letter says that he as good as made you an offer and that you received his advances in the kindest way and now he wants me to urge his suit and say all manner of pretty things to you So it is in vain to affect ignorance {para} Catherine with all the earnestness of truth expressed her astonishment at such a charge protesting her innocence of every thought of Mr Thorpe 's being in love with her and the consequent impossibility of her having ever intended to encourage him As to any attentions on his side I do declare upon my honour I never was sensible of them for a moment except just his asking me to dance the first day of his coming And as to making me an offer or anything like it there must be some unaccountable mistake I could not have misunderstood a thing of that kind you know And as I ever wish to be believed I solemnly protest that no syllable of such a nature ever passed between us The last half hour before he went away It must be all and completely a mistake for I did not see him once that whole morning {para} But that you certainly did for you spent the whole morning in Edgar 's Buildings it was the day your father 's consent came and I am pretty sure that you and John were alone in the parlour some time before you left the house {para} Are you Well if you say it it was so I dare say but for the life of me I cannot recollect it I do remember now being with you and seeing him as well as the rest but that we were ever alone for five minutes However it is not worth arguing about for whatever might pass on his side you must be convinced by my having no recollection of it that I never thought nor expected nor wished for anything of the kind from him I am excessively concerned that he should have any regard for me but indeed it has been quite unintentional on my side I never had the smallest idea of it Pray undeceive him as soon as you can and tell him I beg his pardon that is I do not know what I ought to say but make him understand what I mean in the properest way I would not speak disrespectfully of a brother of yours Isabella I am sure but you know very well that if I could think of one man more than another he is not the person Isabella was silent My dear friend you must not be angry with me I cannot suppose your brother cares so very much about me And you know we shall still be sisters {para} Yes yes with a blush there are more ways than one of our being sisters But where am I wandering to Well my dear Catherine the case seems to be that you are determined against poor John is not it so {para} I certainly cannot return his affection and as certainly never meant to encourage it {para} Since that is the case I am sure I shall not tease you any further John desired me to speak to you on the subject and therefore I have But I confess as soon as I read his letter I thought it a very foolish imprudent business and not likely to promote the good of either for what were you to live upon supposing you came together You have both of you something to be sure but it is not a trifle that will support a family nowadays and after all that romancers may say there is no doing without money I only wonder John could think of it he could not have received my last {para} You do acquit me then of anything wrong You are convinced that I never meant to deceive your brother never suspected him of liking me till this moment {para} Oh As to that answered Isabella laughingly I do not pretend to determine what your thoughts and designs in time past may have been All that is best known to yourself A little harmless flirtation or so will occur and one is often drawn on to give more encouragement than one wishes to stand by But you may be assured that I am the last person in the world to judge you severely All those things should be allowed for in youth and high spirits What one means one day you know one may not mean the next Circumstances change opinions alter {para} But my opinion of your brother never did alter it was always the same You are describing what never happened {para} My dearest Catherine continued the other without at all listening to her I would not for all the world be the means of hurrying you into an engagement before you knew what you were about I do not think anything would justify me in wishing you to sacrifice all your happiness merely to oblige my brother because he is my brother and who perhaps after all you know might be just as happy without you for people seldom know what they would be at young men especially they are so amazingly changeable and inconstant What I say is why should a brother 's happiness be dearer to me than a friend 's You know I carry my notions of friendship pretty high But above all things my dear Catherine do not be in a hurry Take my word for it that if you are in too great a hurry you will certainly live to repent it Tilney says there is nothing people are so often deceived in as the state of their own affections and I believe he is very right Ah Here he comes never mind he will not see us I am sure {para} Catherine looking up perceived Captain Tilney and Isabella earnestly fixing her eye on him as she spoke soon caught his notice He approached immediately and took the seat to which her movements invited him His first address made Catherine start Though spoken low she could distinguish What Always to be watched in person or by proxy {para} Psha nonsense was Isabella 's answer in the same half whisper Why do you put such things into my head If I could believe it my spirit you know is pretty independent {para} I wish your heart were independent That would be enough for me {para} My heart indeed What can you have to do with hearts You men have none of you any hearts {para} If we have not hearts we have eyes and they give us torment enough {para} Do they I am sorry for it I am sorry they find anything so disagreeable in me I will look another way I hope this pleases you turning her back on him I hope your eyes are not tormented now {para} Never more so for the edge of a blooming cheek is still in view at once too much and too little {para} Catherine heard all this and quite out of countenance could listen no longer Amazed that Isabella could endure it and jealous for her brother she rose up and saying she should join Mrs Allen proposed their walking But for this Isabella showed no inclination She was so amazingly tired and it was so odious to parade about the pump room and if she moved from her seat she should miss her sisters she was expecting her sisters every moment so that her dearest Catherine must excuse her and must sit quietly down again But Catherine could be stubborn too and Mrs Allen just then coming up to propose their returning home she joined her and walked out of the pump room leaving Isabella still sitting with Captain Tilney With much uneasiness did she thus leave them It seemed to her that Captain Tilney was falling in love with Isabella and Isabella unconsciously encouraging him unconsciously it must be for Isabella 's attachment to James was as certain and well acknowledged as her engagement To doubt her truth or good intentions was impossible and yet during the whole of their conversation her manner had been odd She wished Isabella had talked more like her usual self and not so much about money and had not looked so well pleased at the sight of Captain Tilney How strange that she should not perceive his admiration Catherine longed to give her a hint of it to put her on her guard and prevent all the pain which her too lively behaviour might otherwise create both for him and her brother {para} The compliment of John Thorpe 's affection did not make amends for this thoughtlessness in his sister She was almost as far from believing as from wishing it to be sincere for she had not forgotten that he could mistake and his assertion of the offer and of her encouragement convinced her that his mistakes could sometimes be very egregious In vanity therefore she gained but little her chief profit was in wonder That he should think it worth his while to fancy himself in love with her was a matter of lively astonishment Isabella talked of his attentions she had never been sensible of any but Isabella had said many things which she hoped had been spoken in haste and would never be said again and upon this she was glad to rest altogether for present ease and comfort {para} CHAPTER 19 {para} A few days passed away and Catherine though not allowing herself to suspect her friend could not help watching her closely The result of her observations was not agreeable Isabella seemed an altered creature When she saw her indeed surrounded only by their immediate friends in Edgar 's Buildings or Pulteney Street her change of manners was so trifling that had it gone no farther it might have passed unnoticed A something of languid indifference or of that boasted absence of mind which Catherine had never heard of before would occasionally come across her but had nothing worse appeared that might only have spread a new grace and inspired a warmer interest But when Catherine saw her in public admitting Captain Tilney 's attentions as readily as they were offered and allowing him almost an equal share with James in her notice and smiles the alteration became too positive to be passed over What could be meant by such unsteady conduct what her friend could be at was beyond her comprehension Isabella could not be aware of the pain she was inflicting but it was a degree of wilful thoughtlessness which Catherine could not but resent James was the sufferer She saw him grave and uneasy and however careless of his present comfort the woman might be who had given him her heart to her it was always an object For poor Captain Tilney too she was greatly concerned Though his looks did not please her his name was a passport to her goodwill and she thought with sincere compassion of his approaching disappointment for in spite of what she had believed herself to overbear in the pump room his behaviour was so incompatible with a knowledge of Isabella 's engagement that she could not upon reflection imagine him aware of it He might be jealous of her brother as a rival but if more bad seemed implied the fault must have been in her misapprehension She wished by a gentle remonstrance to remind Isabella of her situation and make her aware of this double unkindness but for remonstrance either opportunity or comprehension was always against her If able to suggest a hint Isabella could never understand it In this distress the intended departure of the Tilney family became her chief consolation their journey into Gloucestershire was to take place within a few days and Captain Tilney 's removal would at least restore peace to every heart but his own But Captain Tilney had at present no intention of removing he was not to be of the party to Northanger he was to continue at Bath When Catherine knew this her resolution was directly made She spoke to Henry Tilney on the subject regretting his brother 's evident partiality for Miss Thorpe and entreating him to make known her prior engagement {para} My brother does know it was Henry 's answer {para} Does he Then why does he stay here {para} He made no reply and was beginning to talk of something else but she eagerly continued Why do not you persuade him to go away The longer he stays the worse it will be for him at last Pray advise him for his own sake and for everybody 's sake to leave Bath directly Absence will in time make him comfortable again but he can have no hope here and it is only staying to be miserable Henry smiled and said I am sure my brother would not wish to do that {para} Then you will persuade him to go away {para} Persuasion is not at command but pardon me if I cannot even endeavour to persuade him I have myself told him that Miss Thorpe is engaged He knows what he is about and must be his own master {para} No he does not know what he is about cried Catherine he does not know the pain he is giving my brother Not that James has ever told me so but I am sure he is very uncomfortable {para} And are you sure it is my brother 's doing {para} Yes very sure {para} Is it my brother 's attentions to Miss Thorpe or Miss Thorpe 's admission of them that gives the pain {para} Is not it the same thing {para} I think Mr Morland would acknowledge a difference No man is offended by another man 's admiration of the woman he loves it is the woman only who can make it a torment {para} Catherine blushed for her friend and said Isabella is wrong But I am sure she cannot mean to torment for she is very much attached to my brother She has been in love with him ever since they first met and while my father 's consent was uncertain she fretted herself almost into a fever You know she must be attached to him {para} I understand she is in love with James and flirts with Frederick {para} Oh no not flirts A woman in love with one man cannot flirt with another {para} It is probable that she will neither love so well nor flirt so well as she might do either singly The gentlemen must each give up a little {para} After a short pause Catherine resumed with Then you do not believe Isabella so very much attached to my brother {para} I can have no opinion on that subject {para} But what can your brother mean If he knows her engagement what can he mean by his behaviour {para} You are a very close questioner {para} Am I I only ask what I want to be told {para} But do you only ask what I can be expected to tell {para} Yes I think so for you must know your brother 's heart {para} My brother 's heart as you term it on the present occasion I assure you I can only guess at {para} Well {para} Well Nay if it is to be guesswork let us all guess for ourselves To be guided by second hand conjecture is pitiful The premises are before you My brother is a lively and perhaps sometimes a thoughtless young man he has had about a week 's acquaintance with your friend and he has known her engagement almost as long as he has known her {para} Well said Catherine after some moments consideration you may be able to guess at your brother 's intentions from all this but I am sure I cannot But is not your father uncomfortable about it Does not he want Captain Tilney to go away Sure if your father were to speak to him he would go {para} My dear Miss Morland said Henry in this amiable solicitude for your brother 's comfort may you not be a little mistaken Are you not carried a little too far Would he thank you either on his own account or Miss Thorpe 's for supposing that her affection or at least her good behaviour is only to be secured by her seeing nothing of Captain Tilney Is he safe only in solitude Or is her heart constant to him only when unsolicited by anyone else He cannot think this and you may be sure that he would not have you think it I will not say Do not be uneasy because I know that you are so at this moment but be as little uneasy as you can You have no doubt of the mutual attachment of your brother and your friend depend upon it therefore that real jealousy never can exist between them depend upon it that no disagreement between them can be of any duration Their hearts are open to each other as neither heart can be to you they know exactly what is required and what can be borne and you may be certain that one will never tease the other beyond what is known to be pleasant {para} Perceiving her still to look doubtful and grave he added Though Frederick does not leave Bath with us he will probably remain but a very short time perhaps only a few days behind us His leave of absence will soon expire and he must return to his regiment And what will then be their acquaintance The mess room will drink Isabella Thorpe for a fortnight and she will laugh with your brother over poor Tilney 's passion for a month {para} Catherine would contend no longer against comfort She had resisted its approaches during the whole length of a speech but it now carried her captive Henry Tilney must know best She blamed herself for the extent of her fears and resolved never to think so seriously on the subject again {para} Her resolution was supported by Isabella 's behaviour in their parting interview The Thorpes spent the last evening of Catherine 's stay in Pulteney Street and nothing passed between the lovers to excite her uneasiness or make her quit them in apprehension James was in excellent spirits and Isabella most engagingly placid Her tenderness for her friend seemed rather the first feeling of her heart but that at such a moment was allowable and once she gave her lover a flat contradiction and once she drew back her hand but Catherine remembered Henry 's instructions and placed it all to judicious affection The embraces tears and promises of the parting fair ones may be fancied {para} CHAPTER 20 {para} Mr and Mrs Allen were sorry to lose their young friend whose good humour and cheerfulness had made her a valuable companion and in the promotion of whose enjoyment their own had been gently increased Her happiness in going with Miss Tilney however prevented their wishing it otherwise and as they were to remain only one more week in Bath themselves her quitting them now would not long be felt Mr Allen attended her to Milsom Street where she was to breakfast and saw her seated with the kindest welcome among her new friends but so great was her agitation in finding herself as one of the family and so fearful was she of not doing exactly what was right and of not being able to preserve their good opinion that in the embarrassment of the first five minutes she could almost have wished to return with him to Pulteney Street {para} Miss Tilney 's manners and Henry 's smile soon did away some of her unpleasant feelings but still she was far from being at ease nor could the incessant attentions of the general himself entirely reassure her Nay perverse as it seemed she doubted whether she might not have felt less had she been less attended to His anxiety for her comfort his continual solicitations that she would eat and his often expressed fears of her seeing nothing to her taste though never in her life before had she beheld half such variety on a breakfast table made it impossible for her to forget for a moment that she was a visitor She felt utterly unworthy of such respect and knew not how to reply to it Her tranquillity was not improved by the general 's impatience for the appearance of his eldest son nor by the displeasure he expressed at his laziness when Captain Tilney at last came down She was quite pained by the severity of his father 's reproof which seemed disproportionate to the offence and much was her concern increased when she found herself the principal cause of the lecture and that his tardiness was chiefly resented from being disrespectful to her This was placing her in a very uncomfortable situation and she felt great compassion for Captain Tilney without being able to hope for his goodwill {para} He listened to his father in silence and attempted not any defence which confirmed her in fearing that the inquietude of his mind on Isabella 's account might by keeping him long sleepless have been the real cause of his rising late It was the first time of her being decidedly in his company and she had hoped to be now able to form her opinion of him but she scarcely heard his voice while his father remained in the room and even afterwards so much were his spirits affected she could distinguish nothing but these words in a whisper to Eleanor How glad I shall be when you are all off {para} The bustle of going was not pleasant The clock struck ten while the trunks were carrying down and the general had fixed to be out of Milsom Street by that hour His greatcoat instead of being brought for him to put on directly was spread out in the curricle in which he was to accompany his son The middle seat of the chaise was not drawn out though there were three people to go in it and his daughter 's maid had so crowded it with parcels that Miss Morland would not have room to sit and so much was he influenced by this apprehension when he handed her in that she had some difficulty in saving her own new writing desk from being thrown out into the street At last however the door was closed upon the three females and they set off at the sober pace in which the handsome highly fed four horses of a gentleman usually perform a journey of thirty miles such was the distance of Northanger from Bath to be now divided into two equal stages Catherine 's spirits revived as they drove from the door for with Miss Tilney she felt no restraint and with the interest of a road entirely new to her of an abbey before and a curricle behind she caught the last view of Bath without any regret and met with every milestone before she expected it The tediousness of a two hours wait at Petty France in which there was nothing to be done but to eat without being hungry and loiter about without anything to see next followed and her admiration of the style in which they travelled of the fashionable chaise and four postilions handsomely liveried rising so regularly in their stirrups and numerous outriders properly mounted sunk a little under this consequent inconvenience Had their party been perfectly agreeable the delay would have been nothing but General Tilney though so charming a man seemed always a check upon his children 's spirits and scarcely anything was said but by himself the observation of which with his discontent at whatever the inn afforded and his angry impatience at the waiters made Catherine grow every moment more in awe of him and appeared to lengthen the two hours into four At last however the order of release was given and much was Catherine then surprised by the general 's proposal of her taking his place in his son 's curricle for the rest of the journey the day was fine and he was anxious for her seeing as much of the country as possible {para} The remembrance of Mr Allen 's opinion respecting young men 's open carriages made her blush at the mention of such a plan and her first thought was to decline it but her second was of greater deference for General Tilney 's judgment he could not propose anything improper for her and in the course of a few minutes she found herself with Henry in the curricle as happy a being as ever existed A very short trial convinced her that a curricle was the prettiest equipage in the world the chaise and four wheeled off with some grandeur to be sure but it was a heavy and troublesome business and she could not easily forget its having stopped two hours at Petty France Half the time would have been enough for the curricle and so nimbly were the light horses disposed to move that had not the general chosen to have his own carriage lead the way they could have passed it with ease in half a minute But the merit of the curricle did not all belong to the horses Henry drove so well so quietly without making any disturbance without parading to her or swearing at them so different from the only gentleman coachman whom it was in her power to compare him with And then his hat sat so well and the innumerable capes of his greatcoat looked so becomingly important To be driven by him next to being dancing with him was certainly the greatest happiness in the world In addition to every other delight she had now that of listening to her own praise of being thanked at least on his sister 's account for her kindness in thus becoming her visitor of hearing it ranked as real friendship and described as creating real gratitude His sister he said was uncomfortably circumstanced she had no female companion and in the frequent absence of her father was sometimes without any companion at all {para} But how can that be said Catherine Are not you with her {para} Northanger is not more than half my home I have an establishment at my own house in Woodston which is nearly twenty miles from my father 's and some of my time is necessarily spent there {para} How sorry you must be for that {para} I am always sorry to leave Eleanor {para} Yes but besides your affection for her you must be so fond of the abbey After being used to such a home as the abbey an ordinary parsonage house must be very disagreeable {para} He smiled and said You have formed a very favourable idea of the abbey {para} To be sure I have Is not it a fine old place just like what one reads about {para} And are you prepared to encounter all the horrors that a building such as what one reads about may produce Have you a stout heart Nerves fit for sliding panels and tapestry {para} Oh yes I do not think I should be easily frightened because there would be so many people in the house and besides it has never been uninhabited and left deserted for years and then the family come back to it unawares without giving any notice as generally happens {para} No certainly We shall not have to explore our way into a hall dimly lighted by the expiring embers of a wood fire nor be obliged to spread our beds on the floor of a room without windows doors or furniture But you must be aware that when a young lady is by whatever means introduced into a dwelling of this kind she is always lodged apart from the rest of the family While they snugly repair to their own end of the house she is formally conducted by Dorothy the ancient housekeeper up a different staircase and along many gloomy passages into an apartment never used since some cousin or kin died in it about twenty years before Can you stand such a ceremony as this Will not your mind misgive you when you find yourself in this gloomy chamber too lofty and extensive for you with only the feeble rays of a single lamp to take in its size its walls hung with tapestry exhibiting figures as large as life and the bed of dark green stuff or purple velvet presenting even a funereal appearance Will not your heart sink within you {para} Oh But this will not happen to me I am sure {para} How fearfully will you examine the furniture of your apartment And what will you discern Not tables toilettes wardrobes or drawers but on one side perhaps the remains of a broken lute on the other a ponderous chest which no efforts can open and over the fireplace the portrait of some handsome warrior whose features will so incomprehensibly strike you that you will not be able to withdraw your eyes from it Dorothy meanwhile no less struck by your appearance gazes on you in great agitation and drops a few unintelligible hints To raise your spirits moreover she gives you reason to suppose that the part of the abbey you inhabit is undoubtedly haunted and informs you that you will not have a single domestic within call With this parting cordial she curtsies off you listen to the sound of her receding footsteps as long as the last echo can reach you and when with fainting spirits you attempt to fasten your door you discover with increased alarm that it has no lock {para} Oh Mr Tilney how frightful This is just like a book But it cannot really happen to me I am sure your housekeeper is not really Dorothy Well what then {para} Nothing further to alarm perhaps may occur the first night After surmounting your unconquerable horror of the bed you will retire to rest and get a few hours unquiet slumber But on the second or at farthest the third night after your arrival you will probably have a violent storm Peals of thunder so loud as to seem to shake the edifice to its foundation will roll round the neighbouring mountains and during the frightful gusts of wind which accompany it you will probably think you discern for your lamp is not extinguished one part of the hanging more violently agitated than the rest Unable of course to repress your curiosity in so favourable a moment for indulging it you will instantly arise and throwing your dressing gown around you proceed to examine this mystery After a very short search you will discover a division in the tapestry so artfully constructed as to defy the minutest inspection and on opening it a door will immediately appear which door being only secured by massy bars and a padlock you will after a few efforts succeed in opening and with your lamp in your hand will pass through it into a small vaulted room {para} No indeed I should be too much frightened to do any such thing {para} What Not when Dorothy has given you to understand that there is a secret subterraneous communication between your apartment and the chapel of St Anthony scarcely two miles off Could you shrink from so simple an adventure No no you will proceed into this small vaulted room and through this into several others without perceiving anything very remarkable in either In one perhaps there may be a dagger in another a few drops of blood and in a third the remains of some instrument of torture but there being nothing in all this out of the common way and your lamp being nearly exhausted you will return towards your own apartment In repassing through the small vaulted room however your eyes will be attracted towards a large old fashioned cabinet of ebony and gold which though narrowly examining the furniture before you had passed unnoticed Impelled by an irresistible presentiment you will eagerly advance to it unlock its folding doors and search into every drawer but for some time without discovering anything of importance perhaps nothing but a considerable hoard of diamonds At last however by touching a secret spring an inner compartment will open a roll of paper appears you seize it it contains many sheets of manuscript you hasten with the precious treasure into your own chamber but scarcely have you been able to decipher Oh Thou whomsoever thou mayst be into whose hands these memoirs of the wretched Matilda may fall when your lamp suddenly expires in the socket and leaves you in total darkness {para} Oh No no do not say so Well go on {para} But Henry was too much amused by the interest he had raised to be able to carry it farther he could no longer command solemnity either of subject or voice and was obliged to entreat her to use her own fancy in the perusal of Matilda 's woes Catherine recollecting herself grew ashamed of her eagerness and began earnestly to assure him that her attention had been fixed without the smallest apprehension of really meeting with what he related Miss Tilney she was sure would never put her into such a chamber as he had described She was not at all afraid {para} As they drew near the end of their journey her impatience for a sight of the abbey for some time suspended by his conversation on subjects very different returned in full force and every bend in the road was expected with solemn awe to afford a glimpse of its massy walls of grey stone rising amidst a grove of ancient oaks with the last beams of the sun playing in beautiful splendour on its high Gothic windows But so low did the building stand that she found herself passing through the great gates of the lodge into the very grounds of Northanger without having discerned even an antique chimney {para} She knew not that she had any right to be surprised but there was a something in this mode of approach which she certainly had not expected To pass between lodges of a modern appearance to find herself with such ease in the very precincts of the abbey and driven so rapidly along a smooth level road of fine gravel without obstacle alarm or solemnity of any kind struck her as odd and inconsistent She was not long at leisure however for such considerations A sudden scud of rain driving full in her face made it impossible for her to observe anything further and fixed all her thoughts on the welfare of her new straw bonnet and she was actually under the abbey walls was springing with Henry 's assistance from the carriage was beneath the shelter of the old porch and had even passed on to the hall where her friend and the general were waiting to welcome her without feeling one awful foreboding of future misery to herself or one moment 's suspicion of any past scenes of horror being acted within the solemn edifice The breeze had not seemed to waft the sighs of the murdered to her it had wafted nothing worse than a thick mizzling rain and having given a good shake to her habit she was ready to be shown into the common drawing room and capable of considering where she was {para} An abbey Yes it was delightful to be really in an abbey But she doubted as she looked round the room whether anything within her observation would have given her the consciousness The furniture was in all the profusion and elegance of modern taste The fireplace where she had expected the ample width and ponderous carving of former times was contracted to a Rumford with slabs of plain though handsome marble and ornaments over it of the prettiest English china The windows to which she looked with peculiar dependence from having heard the general talk of his preserving them in their Gothic form with reverential care were yet less what her fancy had portrayed To be sure the pointed arch was preserved the form of them was Gothic they might be even casements but every pane was so large so clear so light To an imagination which had hoped for the smallest divisions and the heaviest stone work for painted glass dirt and cobwebs the difference was very distressing {para} The general perceiving how her eye was employed began to talk of the smallness of the room and simplicity of the furniture where everything being for daily use pretended only to comfort etc flattering himself however that there were some apartments in the Abbey not unworthy her notice and was proceeding to mention the costly gilding of one in particular when taking out his watch he stopped short to pronounce it with surprise within twenty minutes of five This seemed the word of separation and Catherine found herself hurried away by Miss Tilney in such a manner as convinced her that the strictest punctuality to the family hours would be expected at Northanger {para} Returning through the large and lofty hall they ascended a broad staircase of shining oak which after many flights and many landing places brought them upon a long wide gallery On one side it had a range of doors and it was lighted on the other by windows which Catherine had only time to discover looked into a quadrangle before Miss Tilney led the way into a chamber and scarcely staying to hope she would find it comfortable left her with an anxious entreaty that she would make as little alteration as possible in her dress {para} CHAPTER 21 {para} A moment 's glance was enough to satisfy Catherine that her apartment was very unlike the one which Henry had endeavoured to alarm her by the description of It was by no means unreasonably large and contained neither tapestry nor velvet The walls were papered the floor was carpeted the windows were neither less perfect nor more dim than those of the drawing room below the furniture though not of the latest fashion was handsome and comfortable and the air of the room altogether far from uncheerful Her heart instantaneously at ease on this point she resolved to lose no time in particular examination of anything as she greatly dreaded disobliging the general by any delay Her habit therefore was thrown off with all possible haste and she was preparing to unpin the linen package which the chaise seat had conveyed for her immediate accommodation when her eye suddenly fell on a large high chest standing back in a deep recess on one side of the fireplace The sight of it made her start and forgetting everything else she stood gazing on it in motionless wonder while these thoughts crossed her {para} This is strange indeed I did not expect such a sight as this An immense heavy chest What can it hold Why should it be placed here Pushed back too as if meant to be out of sight I will look into it cost me what it may I will look into it and directly too by daylight If I stay till evening my candle may go out She advanced and examined it closely it was of cedar curiously inlaid with some darker wood and raised about a foot from the ground on a carved stand of the same The lock was silver though tarnished from age at each end were the imperfect remains of handles also of silver broken perhaps prematurely by some strange violence and on the centre of the lid was a mysterious cipher in the same metal Catherine bent over it intently but without being able to distinguish anything with certainty She could not in whatever direction she took it believe the last letter to be a T and yet that it should be anything else in that house was a circumstance to raise no common degree of astonishment If not originally theirs by what strange events could it have fallen into the Tilney family {para} Her fearful curiosity was every moment growing greater and seizing with trembling hands the hasp of the lock she resolved at all hazards to satisfy herself at least as to its contents With difficulty for something seemed to resist her efforts she raised the lid a few inches but at that moment a sudden knocking at the door of the room made her starting quit her hold and the lid closed with alarming violence This ill timed intruder was Miss Tilney 's maid sent by her mistress to be of use to Miss Morland and though Catherine immediately dismissed her it recalled her to the sense of what she ought to be doing and forced her in spite of her anxious desire to penetrate this mystery to proceed in her dressing without further delay Her progress was not quick for her thoughts and her eyes were still bent on the object so well calculated to interest and alarm and though she dared not waste a moment upon a second attempt she could not remain many paces from the chest At length however having slipped one arm into her gown her toilette seemed so nearly finished that the impatience of her curiosity might safely be indulged One moment surely might be spared and so desperate should be the exertion of her strength that unless secured by supernatural means the lid in one moment should be thrown back With this spirit she sprang forward and her confidence did not deceive her Her resolute effort threw back the lid and gave to her astonished eyes the view of a white cotton counterpane properly folded reposing at one end of the chest in undisputed possession {para} She was gazing on it with the first blush of surprise when Miss Tilney anxious for her friend 's being ready entered the room and to the rising shame of having harboured for some minutes an absurd expectation was then added the shame of being caught in so idle a search That is a curious old chest is not it said Miss Tilney as Catherine hastily closed it and turned away to the glass It is impossible to say how many generations it has been here How it came to be first put in this room I know not but I have not had it moved because I thought it might sometimes be of use in holding hats and bonnets The worst of it is that its weight makes it difficult to open In that corner however it is at least out of the way {para} Catherine had no leisure for speech being at once blushing tying her gown and forming wise resolutions with the most violent dispatch Miss Tilney gently hinted her fear of being late and in half a minute they ran downstairs together in an alarm not wholly unfounded for General Tilney was pacing the drawing room his watch in his hand and having on the very instant of their entering pulled the bell with violence ordered Dinner to be on table directly {para} Catherine trembled at the emphasis with which he spoke and sat pale and breathless in a most humble mood concerned for his children and detesting old chests and the general recovering his politeness as he looked at her spent the rest of his time in scolding his daughter for so foolishly hurrying her fair friend who was absolutely out of breath from haste when there was not the least occasion for hurry in the world but Catherine could not at all get over the double distress of having involved her friend in a lecture and been a great simpleton herself till they were happily seated at the dinner table when the general 's complacent smiles and a good appetite of her own restored her to peace The dining parlour was a noble room suitable in its dimensions to a much larger drawing room than the one in common use and fitted up in a style of luxury and expense which was almost lost on the unpractised eye of Catherine who saw little more than its spaciousness and the number of their attendants Of the former she spoke aloud her admiration and the general with a very gracious countenance acknowledged that it was by no means an ill sized room and further confessed that though as careless on such subjects as most people he did look upon a tolerably large eating room as one of the necessaries of life he supposed however that she must have been used to much better sized apartments at Mr Allen 's {para} No indeed was Catherine 's honest assurance Mr Allen 's dining parlour was not more than half as large and she had never seen so large a room as this in her life The general 's good humour increased Why as he had such rooms he thought it would be simple not to make use of them but upon his honour he believed there might be more comfort in rooms of only half their size Mr Allen 's house he was sure must be exactly of the true size for rational happiness {para} The evening passed without any further disturbance and in the occasional absence of General Tilney with much positive cheerfulness It was only in his presence that Catherine felt the smallest fatigue from her journey and even then even in moments of languor or restraint a sense of general happiness preponderated and she could think of her friends in Bath without one wish of being with them {para} The night was stormy the wind had been rising at intervals the whole afternoon and by the time the party broke up it blew and rained violently Catherine as she crossed the hall listened to the tempest with sensations of awe and when she heard it rage round a corner of the ancient building and close with sudden fury a distant door felt for the first time that she was really in an abbey Yes these were characteristic sounds they brought to her recollection a countless variety of dreadful situations and horrid scenes which such buildings had witnessed and such storms ushered in and most heartily did she rejoice in the happier circumstances attending her entrance within walls so solemn She had nothing to dread from midnight assassins or drunken gallants Henry had certainly been only in jest in what he had told her that morning In a house so furnished and so guarded she could have nothing to explore or to suffer and might go to her bedroom as securely as if it had been her own chamber at Fullerton Thus wisely fortifying her mind as she proceeded upstairs she was enabled especially on perceiving that Miss Tilney slept only two doors from her to enter her room with a tolerably stout heart and her spirits were immediately assisted by the cheerful blaze of a wood fire How much better is this said she as she walked to the fender how much better to find a fire ready lit than to have to wait shivering in the cold till all the family are in bed as so many poor girls have been obliged to do and then to have a faithful old servant frightening one by coming in with a faggot How glad I am that Northanger is what it is If it had been like some other places I do not know that in such a night as this I could have answered for my courage but now to be sure there is nothing to alarm one {para} She looked round the room The window curtains seemed in motion It could be nothing but the violence of the wind penetrating through the divisions of the shutters and she stepped boldly forward carelessly humming a tune to assure herself of its being so peeped courageously behind each curtain saw nothing on either low window seat to scare her and on placing a hand against the shutter felt the strongest conviction of the wind 's force A glance at the old chest as she turned away from this examination was not without its use she scorned the causeless fears of an idle fancy and began with a most happy indifference to prepare herself for bed She should take her time she should not hurry herself she did not care if she were the last person up in the house But she would not make up her fire that would seem cowardly as if she wished for the protection of light after she were in bed The fire therefore died away and Catherine having spent the best part of an hour in her arrangements was beginning to think of stepping into bed when on giving a parting glance round the room she was struck by the appearance of a high old fashioned black cabinet which though in a situation conspicuous enough had never caught her notice before Henry 's words his description of the ebony cabinet which was to escape her observation at first immediately rushed across her and though there could be nothing really in it there was something whimsical it was certainly a very remarkable coincidence She took her candle and looked closely at the cabinet It was not absolutely ebony and gold but it was japan black and yellow japan of the handsomest kind and as she held her candle the yellow had very much the effect of gold The key was in the door and she had a strange fancy to look into it not however with the smallest expectation of finding anything but it was so very odd after what Henry had said In short she could not sleep till she had examined it So placing the candle with great caution on a chair she seized the key with a very tremulous hand and tried to turn it but it resisted her utmost strength Alarmed but not discouraged she tried it another way a bolt flew and she believed herself successful but how strangely mysterious The door was still immovable She paused a moment in breathless wonder The wind roared down the chimney the rain beat in torrents against the windows and everything seemed to speak the awfulness of her situation To retire to bed however unsatisfied on such a point would be vain since sleep must be impossible with the consciousness of a cabinet so mysteriously closed in her immediate vicinity Again therefore she applied herself to the key and after moving it in every possible way for some instants with the determined celerity of hope 's last effort the door suddenly yielded to her hand her heart leaped with exultation at such a victory and having thrown open each folding door the second being secured only by bolts of less wonderful construction than the lock though in that her eye could not discern anything unusual a double range of small drawers appeared in view with some larger drawers above and below them and in the centre a small door closed also with a lock and key secured in all probability a cavity of importance {para} Catherine 's heart beat quick but her courage did not fail her With a cheek flushed by hope and an eye straining with curiosity her fingers grasped the handle of a drawer and drew it forth It was entirely empty With less alarm and greater eagerness she seized a second a third a fourth each was equally empty Not one was left unsearched and in not one was anything found Well read in the art of concealing a treasure the possibility of false linings to the drawers did not escape her and she felt round each with anxious acuteness in vain The place in the middle alone remained now unexplored and though she had never from the first had the smallest idea of finding anything in any part of the cabinet and was not in the least disappointed at her ill success thus far it would be foolish not to examine it thoroughly while she was about it It was some time however before she could unfasten the door the same difficulty occurring in the management of this inner lock as of the outer but at length it did open and not vain as hitherto was her search her quick eyes directly fell on a roll of paper pushed back into the further part of the cavity apparently for concealment and her feelings at that moment were indescribable Her heart fluttered her knees trembled and her cheeks grew pale She seized with an unsteady hand the precious manuscript for half a glance sufficed to ascertain written characters and while she acknowledged with awful sensations this striking exemplification of what Henry had foretold resolved instantly to peruse every line before she attempted to rest {para} The dimness of the light her candle emitted made her turn to it with alarm but there was no danger of its sudden extinction it had yet some hours to burn and that she might not have any greater difficulty in distinguishing the writing than what its ancient date might occasion she hastily snuffed it Alas It was snuffed and extinguished in one A lamp could not have expired with more awful effect Catherine for a few moments was motionless with horror It was done completely not a remnant of light in the wick could give hope to the rekindling breath Darkness impenetrable and immovable filled the room A violent gust of wind rising with sudden fury added fresh horror to the moment Catherine trembled from head to foot In the pause which succeeded a sound like receding footsteps and the closing of a distant door struck on her affrighted ear Human nature could support no more A cold sweat stood on her forehead the manuscript fell from her hand and groping her way to the bed she jumped hastily in and sought some suspension of agony by creeping far underneath the clothes To close her eyes in sleep that night she felt must be entirely out of the question With a curiosity so justly awakened and feelings in every way so agitated repose must be absolutely impossible The storm too abroad so dreadful She had not been used to feel alarm from wind but now every blast seemed fraught with awful intelligence The manuscript so wonderfully found so wonderfully accomplishing the morning 's prediction how was it to be accounted for What could it contain To whom could it relate By what means could it have been so long concealed And how singularly strange that it should fall to her lot to discover it Till she had made herself mistress of its contents however she could have neither repose nor comfort and with the sun 's first rays she was determined to peruse it But many were the tedious hours which must yet intervene She shuddered tossed about in her bed and envied every quiet sleeper The storm still raged and various were the noises more terrific even than the wind which struck at intervals on her startled ear The very curtains of her bed seemed at one moment in motion and at another the lock of her door was agitated as if by the attempt of somebody to enter Hollow murmurs seemed to creep along the gallery and more than once her blood was chilled by the sound of distant moans Hour after hour passed away and the wearied Catherine had heard three proclaimed by all the clocks in the house before the tempest subsided or she unknowingly fell fast asleep {para} CHAPTER 22 {para} The housemaid 's folding back her window shutters at eight o'clock the next day was the sound which first roused Catherine and she opened her eyes wondering that they could ever have been closed on objects of cheerfulness her fire was already burning and a bright morning had succeeded the tempest of the night Instantaneously with the consciousness of existence returned her recollection of the manuscript and springing from the bed in the very moment of the maid 's going away she eagerly collected every scattered sheet which had burst from the roll on its falling to the ground and flew back to enjoy the luxury of their perusal on her pillow She now plainly saw that she must not expect a manuscript of equal length with the generality of what she had shuddered over in books for the roll seeming to consist entirely of small disjointed sheets was altogether but of trifling size and much less than she had supposed it to be at first {para} Her greedy eye glanced rapidly over a page She started at its import Could it be possible or did not her senses play her false An inventory of linen in coarse and modern characters seemed all that was before her If the evidence of sight might be trusted she held a washing bill in her hand She seized another sheet and saw the same articles with little variation a third a fourth and a fifth presented nothing new Shirts stockings cravats and waistcoats faced her in each Two others penned by the same hand marked an expenditure scarcely more interesting in letters hair powder shoe string and breeches ball And the larger sheet which had enclosed the rest seemed by its first cramp line To poultice chestnut mare a farrier 's bill Such was the collection of papers left perhaps as she could then suppose by the negligence of a servant in the place whence she had taken them which had filled her with expectation and alarm and robbed her of half her night 's rest She felt humbled to the dust Could not the adventure of the chest have taught her wisdom A corner of it catching her eye as she lay seemed to rise up in judgment against her Nothing could now be clearer than the absurdity of her recent fancies To suppose that a manuscript of many generations back could have remained undiscovered in a room such as that so modern so habitable Or that she should be the first to possess the skill of unlocking a cabinet the key of which was open to all {para} How could she have so imposed on herself Heaven forbid that Henry Tilney should ever know her folly And it was in a great measure his own doing for had not the cabinet appeared so exactly to agree with his description of her adventures she should never have felt the smallest curiosity about it This was the only comfort that occurred Impatient to get rid of those hateful evidences of her folly those detestable papers then scattered over the bed she rose directly and folding them up as nearly as possible in the same shape as before returned them to the same spot within the cabinet with a very hearty wish that no untoward accident might ever bring them forward again to disgrace her even with herself {para} Why the locks should have been so difficult to open however was still something remarkable for she could now manage them with perfect ease In this there was surely something mysterious and she indulged in the flattering suggestion for half a minute till the possibility of the door 's having been at first unlocked and of being herself its fastener darted into her head and cost her another blush {para} She got away as soon as she could from a room in which her conduct produced such unpleasant reflections and found her way with all speed to the breakfast parlour as it had been pointed out to her by Miss Tilney the evening before Henry was alone in it and his immediate hope of her having been undisturbed by the tempest with an arch reference to the character of the building they inhabited was rather distressing For the world would she not have her weakness suspected and yet unequal to an absolute falsehood was constrained to acknowledge that the wind had kept her awake a little But we have a charming morning after it she added desiring to get rid of the subject and storms and sleeplessness are nothing when they are over What beautiful hyacinths I have just learnt to love a hyacinth {para} And how might you learn By accident or argument {para} Your sister taught me I cannot tell how Mrs Allen used to take pains year after year to make me like them but I never could till I saw them the other day in Milsom Street I am naturally indifferent about flowers {para} But now you love a hyacinth So much the better You have gained a new source of enjoyment and it is well to have as many holds upon happiness as possible Besides a taste for flowers is always desirable in your sex as a means of getting you out of doors and tempting you to more frequent exercise than you would otherwise take And though the love of a hyacinth may be rather domestic who can tell the sentiment once raised but you may in time come to love a rose {para} But I do not want any such pursuit to get me out of doors The pleasure of walking and breathing fresh air is enough for me and in fine weather I am out more than half my time Mamma says I am never within {para} At any rate however I am pleased that you have learnt to love a hyacinth The mere habit of learning to love is the thing and a teachableness of disposition in a young lady is a great blessing Has my sister a pleasant mode of instruction {para} Catherine was saved the embarrassment of attempting an answer by the entrance of the general whose smiling compliments announced a happy state of mind but whose gentle hint of sympathetic early rising did not advance her composure {para} The elegance of the breakfast set forced itself on Catherine 's notice when they were seated at table and lucidly it had been the general 's choice He was enchanted by her approbation of his taste confessed it to be neat and simple thought it right to encourage the manufacture of his country and for his part to his uncritical palate the tea was as well flavoured from the clay of Staffordshire as from that of Dresden or Save But this was quite an old set purchased two years ago The manufacture was much improved since that time he had seen some beautiful specimens when last in town and had he not been perfectly without vanity of that kind might have been tempted to order a new set He trusted however that an opportunity might ere long occur of selecting one though not for himself Catherine was probably the only one of the party who did not understand him {para} Shortly after breakfast Henry left them for Woodston where business required and would keep him two or three days They all attended in the hall to see him mount his horse and immediately on re entering the breakfast room Catherine walked to a window in the hope of catching another glimpse of his figure This is a somewhat heavy call upon your brother 's fortitude observed the general to Eleanor Woodston will make but a sombre appearance today {para} Is it a pretty place asked Catherine {para} What say you Eleanor Speak your opinion for ladies can best tell the taste of ladies in regard to places as well as men I think it would be acknowledged by the most impartial eye to have many recommendations The house stands among fine meadows facing the south east with an excellent kitchen garden in the same aspect the walls surrounding which I built and stocked myself about ten years ago for the benefit of my son It is a family living Miss Morland and the property in the place being chiefly my own you may believe I take care that it shall not be a bad one Did Henry 's income depend solely on this living he would not be ill provided for Perhaps it may seem odd that with only two younger children I should think any profession necessary for him and certainly there are moments when we could all wish him disengaged from every tie of business But though I may not exactly make converts of you young ladies I am sure your father Miss Morland would agree with me in thinking it expedient to give every young man some employment The money is nothing it is not an object but employment is the thing Even Frederick my eldest son you see who will perhaps inherit as considerable a landed property as any private man in the county has his profession {para} The imposing effect of this last argument was equal to his wishes The silence of the lady proved it to be unanswerable {para} Something had been said the evening before of her being shown over the house and he now offered himself as her conductor and though Catherine had hoped to explore it accompanied only by his daughter it was a proposal of too much happiness in itself under any circumstances not to be gladly accepted for she had been already eighteen hours in the abbey and had seen only a few of its rooms The netting box just leisurely drawn forth was closed with joyful haste and she was ready to attend him in a moment And when they had gone over the house he promised himself moreover the pleasure of accompanying her into the shrubberies and garden She curtsied her acquiescence But perhaps it might be more agreeable to her to make those her first object The weather was at present favourable and at this time of year the uncertainty was very great of its continuing so Which would she prefer He was equally at her service Which did his daughter think would most accord with her fair friend 's wishes But he thought he could discern Yes he certainly read in Miss Morland 's eyes a judicious desire of making use of the present smiling weather But when did she judge amiss The abbey would be always safe and dry He yielded implicitly and would fetch his hat and attend them in a moment He left the room and Catherine with a disappointed anxious face began to speak of her unwillingness that he should be taking them out of doors against his own inclination under a mistaken idea of pleasing her but she was stopped by Miss Tilney 's saying with a little confusion I believe it will be wisest to take the morning while it is so fine and do not be uneasy on my father 's account he always walks out at this time of day {para} Catherine did not exactly know how this was to be understood Why was Miss Tilney embarrassed Could there be any unwillingness on the general 's side to show her over the abbey The proposal was his own And was not it odd that he should always take his walk so early Neither her father nor Mr Allen did so It was certainly very provoking She was all impatience to see the house and had scarcely any curiosity about the grounds If Henry had been with them indeed But now she should not know what was picturesque when she saw it Such were her thoughts but she kept them to herself and put on her bonnet in patient discontent {para} She was struck however beyond her expectation by the grandeur of the abbey as she saw it for the first time from the lawn The whole building enclosed a large court and two sides of the quadrangle rich in Gothic ornaments stood forward for admiration The remainder was shut off by knolls of old trees or luxuriant plantations and the steep woody hills rising behind to give it shelter were beautiful even in the leafless month of March Catherine had seen nothing to compare with it and her feelings of delight were so strong that without waiting for any better authority she boldly burst forth in wonder and praise The general listened with assenting gratitude and it seemed as if his own estimation of Northanger had waited unfixed till that hour {para} The kitchen garden was to be next admired and he led the way to it across a small portion of the park {para} The number of acres contained in this garden was such as Catherine could not listen to without dismay being more than double the extent of all Mr Allen 's as well her father 's including church yard and orchard The walls seemed countless in number endless in length a village of hot houses seemed to arise among them and a whole parish to be at work within the enclosure The general was flattered by her looks of surprise which told him almost as plainly as he soon forced her to tell him in words that she had never seen any gardens at all equal to them before and he then modestly owned that without any ambition of that sort himself without any solicitude about it he did believe them to be unrivalled in the kingdom If he had a hobby horse it was that He loved a garden Though careless enough in most matters of eating he loved good fruit or if he did not his friends and children did There were great vexations however attending such a garden as his The utmost care could not always secure the most valuable fruits The pinery had yielded only one hundred in the last year Mr Allen he supposed must feel these inconveniences as well as himself {para} No not at all Mr Allen did not care about the garden and never went into it {para} With a triumphant smile of self satisfaction the general wished he could do the same for he never entered his without being vexed in some way or other by its falling short of his plan {para} How were Mr Allen 's succession houses worked describing the nature of his own as they entered them {para} Mr Allen had only one small hot house which Mrs Allen had the use of for her plants in winter and there was a fire in it now and then {para} He is a happy man said the general with a look of very happy contempt {para} Having taken her into every division and led her under every wall till she was heartily weary of seeing and wondering he suffered the girls at last to seize the advantage of an outer door and then expressing his wish to examine the effect of some recent alterations about the tea house proposed it as no unpleasant extension of their walk if Miss Morland were not tired But where are you going Eleanor Why do you choose that cold damp path to it Miss Morland will get wet Our best way is across the park {para} This is so favourite a walk of mine said Miss Tilney that I always think it the best and nearest way But perhaps it may be damp {para} It was a narrow winding path through a thick grove of old Scotch firs and Catherine struck by its gloomy aspect and eager to enter it could not even by the general 's disapprobation be kept from stepping forward He perceived her inclination and having again urged the plea of health in vain was too polite to make further opposition He excused himself however from attending them The rays of the sun were not too cheerful for him and he would meet them by another course He turned away and Catherine was shocked to find how much her spirits were relieved by the separation The shock however being less real than the relief offered it no injury and she began to talk with easy gaiety of the delightful melancholy which such a grove inspired {para} I am particularly fond of this spot said her companion with a sigh It was my mother 's favourite walk {para} Catherine had never heard Mrs Tilney mentioned in the family before and the interest excited by this tender remembrance showed itself directly in her altered countenance and in the attentive pause with which she waited for something more {para} I used to walk here so often with her added Eleanor though I never loved it then as I have loved it since At that time indeed I used to wonder at her choice But her memory endears it now {para} And ought it not reflected Catherine to endear it to her husband Yet the general would not enter it Miss Tilney continuing silent she ventured to say Her death must have been a great affliction {para} A great and increasing one replied the other in a low voice I was only thirteen when it happened and though I felt my loss perhaps as strongly as one so young could feel it I did not I could not then know what a loss it was She stopped for a moment and then added with great firmness I have no sister you know and though Henry though my brothers are very affectionate and Henry is a great deal here which I am most thankful for it is impossible for me not to be often solitary {para} To be sure you must miss him very much {para} A mother would have been always present A mother would have been a constant friend her influence would have been beyond all other {para} Was she a very charming woman Was she handsome Was there any picture of her in the abbey And why had she been so partial to that grove Was it from dejection of spirits were questions now eagerly poured forth the first three received a ready affirmative the two others were passed by and Catherine 's interest in the deceased Mrs Tilney augmented with every question whether answered or not Of her unhappiness in marriage she felt persuaded The general certainly had been an unkind husband He did not love her walk could he therefore have loved her And besides handsome as he was there was a something in the turn of his features which spoke his not having behaved well to her {para} Her picture I suppose blushing at the consummate art of her own question hangs in your father 's room {para} No it was intended for the drawing room but my father was dissatisfied with the painting and for some time it had no place Soon after her death I obtained it for my own and hung it in my bed chamber where I shall be happy to show it you it is very like Here was another proof A portrait very like of a departed wife not valued by the husband He must have been dreadfully cruel to her {para} Catherine attempted no longer to hide from herself the nature of the feelings which in spite of all his attentions he had previously excited and what had been terror and dislike before was now absolute aversion Yes aversion His cruelty to such a charming woman made him odious to her She had often read of such characters characters which Mr Allen had been used to call unnatural and overdrawn but here was proof positive of the contrary {para} She had just settled this point when the end of the path brought them directly upon the general and in spite of all her virtuous indignation she found herself again obliged to walk with him listen to him and even to smile when he smiled Being no longer able however to receive pleasure from the surrounding objects she soon began to walk with lassitude the general perceived it and with a concern for her health which seemed to reproach her for her opinion of him was most urgent for returning with his daughter to the house He would follow them in a quarter of an hour Again they parted but Eleanor was called back in half a minute to receive a strict charge against taking her friend round the abbey till his return This second instance of his anxiety to delay what she so much wished for struck Catherine as very remarkable {para} CHAPTER 23 {para} An hour passed away before the general came in spent on the part of his young guest in no very favourable consideration of his character This lengthened absence these solitary rambles did not speak a mind at ease or a conscience void of reproach At length he appeared and whatever might have been the gloom of his meditations he could still smile with them Miss Tilney understanding in part her friend 's curiosity to see the house soon revived the subject and her father being contrary to Catherine 's expectations unprovided with any pretence for further delay beyond that of stopping five minutes to order refreshments to be in the room by their return was at last ready to escort them {para} They set forward and with a grandeur of air a dignified step which caught the eye but could not shake the doubts of the well read Catherine he led the way across the hall through the common drawing room and one useless antechamber into a room magnificent both in size and furniture the real drawing room used only with company of consequence It was very noble very grand very charming was all that Catherine had to say for her indiscriminating eye scarcely discerned the colour of the satin and all minuteness of praise all praise that had much meaning was supplied by the general the costliness or elegance of any room 's fitting up could be nothing to her she cared for no furniture of a more modern date than the fifteenth century When the general had satisfied his own curiosity in a close examination of every well known ornament they proceeded into the library an apartment in its way of equal magnificence exhibiting a collection of books on which an humble man might have looked with pride Catherine heard admired and wondered with more genuine feeling than before gathered all that she could from this storehouse of knowledge by running over the titles of half a shelf and was ready to proceed But suites of apartments did not spring up with her wishes Large as was the building she had already visited the greatest part though on being told that with the addition of the kitchen the six or seven rooms she had now seen surrounded three sides of the court she could scarcely believe it or overcome the suspicion of there being many chambers secreted It was some relief however that they were to return to the rooms in common use by passing through a few of less importance looking into the court which with occasional passages not wholly unintricate connected the different sides and she was further soothed in her progress by being told that she was treading what had once been a cloister having traces of cells pointed out and observing several doors that were neither opened nor explained to her by finding herself successively in a billiard room and in the general 's private apartment without comprehending their connection or being able to turn aright when she left them and lastly by passing through a dark little room owning Henry 's authority and strewed with his litter of books guns and greatcoats {para} From the dining room of which though already seen and always to be seen at five o'clock the general could not forgo the pleasure of pacing out the length for the more certain information of Miss Morland as to what she neither doubted nor cared for they proceeded by quick communication to the kitchen the ancient kitchen of the convent rich in the massy walls and smoke of former days and in the stoves and hot closets of the present The general 's improving hand had not loitered here every modern invention to facilitate the labour of the cooks had been adopted within this their spacious theatre and when the genius of others had failed his own had often produced the perfection wanted His endowments of this spot alone might at any time have placed him high among the benefactors of the convent {para} With the walls of the kitchen ended all the antiquity of the abbey the fourth side of the quadrangle having on account of its decaying state been removed by the general 's father and the present erected in its place All that was venerable ceased here The new building was not only new but declared itself to be so intended only for offices and enclosed behind by stable yards no uniformity of architecture had been thought necessary Catherine could have raved at the hand which had swept away what must have been beyond the value of all the rest for the purposes of mere domestic economy and would willingly have been spared the mortification of a walk through scenes so fallen had the general allowed it but if he had a vanity it was in the arrangement of his offices and as he was convinced that to a mind like Miss Morland 's a view of the accommodations and comforts by which the labours of her inferiors were softened must always be gratifying he should make no apology for leading her on They took a slight survey of all and Catherine was impressed beyond her expectation by their multiplicity and their convenience The purposes for which a few shapeless pantries and a comfortless scullery were deemed sufficient at Fullerton were here carried on in appropriate divisions commodious and roomy The number of servants continually appearing did not strike her less than the number of their offices Wherever they went some pattened girl stopped to curtsy or some footman in dishabille sneaked off Yet this was an abbey How inexpressibly different in these domestic arrangements from such as she had read about from abbeys and castles in which though certainly larger than Northanger all the dirty work of the house was to be done by two pair of female hands at the utmost How they could get through it all had often amazed Mrs Allen and when Catherine saw what was necessary here she began to be amazed herself {para} They returned to the hall that the chief staircase might be ascended and the beauty of its wood and ornaments of rich carving might be pointed out having gained the top they turned in an opposite direction from the gallery in which her room lay and shortly entered one on the same plan but superior in length and breadth She was here shown successively into three large bed chambers with their dressing rooms most completely and handsomely fitted up everything that money and taste could do to give comfort and elegance to apartments had been bestowed on these and being furnished within the last five years they were perfect in all that would be generally pleasing and wanting in all that could give pleasure to Catherine As they were surveying the last the general after slightly naming a few of the distinguished characters by whom they had at times been honoured turned with a smiling countenance to Catherine and ventured to hope that henceforward some of their earliest tenants might be our friends from Fullerton She felt the unexpected compliment and deeply regretted the impossibility of thinking well of a man so kindly disposed towards herself and so full of civility to all her family {para} The gallery was terminated by folding doors which Miss Tilney advancing had thrown open and passed through and seemed on the point of doing the same by the first door to the left in another long reach of gallery when the general coming forwards called her hastily and as Catherine thought rather angrily back demanding whether she were going And what was there more to be seen Had not Miss Morland already seen all that could be worth her notice And did she not suppose her friend might be glad of some refreshment after so much exercise Miss Tilney drew back directly and the heavy doors were closed upon the mortified Catherine who having seen in a momentary glance beyond them a narrower passage more numerous openings and symptoms of a winding staircase believed herself at last within the reach of something worth her notice and felt as she unwillingly paced back the gallery that she would rather be allowed to examine that end of the house than see all the finery of all the rest The general 's evident desire of preventing such an examination was an additional stimulant Something was certainly to be concealed her fancy though it had trespassed lately once or twice could not mislead her here and what that something was a short sentence of Miss Tilney 's as they followed the general at some distance downstairs seemed to point out I was going to take you into what was my mother 's room the room in which she died were all her words but few as they were they conveyed pages of intelligence to Catherine It was no wonder that the general should shrink from the sight of such objects as that room must contain a room in all probability never entered by him since the dreadful scene had passed which released his suffering wife and left him to the stings of conscience {para} She ventured when next alone with Eleanor to express her wish of being permitted to see it as well as all the rest of that side of the house and Eleanor promised to attend her there whenever they should have a convenient hour Catherine understood her the general must be watched from home before that room could be entered It remains as it was I suppose said she in a tone of feeling {para} Yes entirely {para} And how long ago may it be that your mother died {para} She has been dead these nine years And nine years Catherine knew was a trifle of time compared with what generally elapsed after the death of an injured wife before her room was put to rights {para} You were with her I suppose to the last {para} No said Miss Tilney sighing I was unfortunately from home Her illness was sudden and short and before I arrived it was all over {para} Catherine 's blood ran cold with the horrid suggestions which naturally sprang from these words Could it be possible Could Henry 's father And yet how many were the examples to justify even the blackest suspicions And when she saw him in the evening while she worked with her friend slowly pacing the drawing room for an hour together in silent thoughtfulness with downcast eyes and contracted brow she felt secure from all possibility of wronging him It was the air and attitude of a Montoni What could more plainly speak the gloomy workings of a mind not wholly dead to every sense of humanity in its fearful review of past scenes of guilt Unhappy man And the anxiousness of her spirits directed her eyes towards his figure so repeatedly as to catch Miss Tilney 's notice My father she whispered often walks about the room in this way it is nothing unusual {para} So much the worse thought Catherine such ill timed exercise was of a piece with the strange unseasonableness of his morning walks and boded nothing good {para} After an evening the little variety and seeming length of which made her peculiarly sensible of Henry 's importance among them she was heartily glad to be dismissed though it was a look from the general not designed for her observation which sent his daughter to the bell When the butler would have lit his master 's candle however he was forbidden The latter was not going to retire I have many pamphlets to finish said he to Catherine before I can close my eyes and perhaps may be poring over the affairs of the nation for hours after you are asleep Can either of us be more meetly employed My eyes will be blinding for the good of others and yours preparing by rest for future mischief {para} But neither the business alleged nor the magnificent compliment could win Catherine from thinking that some very different object must occasion so serious a delay of proper repose To be kept up for hours after the family were in bed by stupid pamphlets was not very likely There must be some deeper cause something was to be done which could be done only while the household slept and the probability that Mrs Tilney yet lived shut up for causes unknown and receiving from the pitiless hands of her husband a nightly supply of coarse food was the conclusion which necessarily followed Shocking as was the idea it was at least better than a death unfairly hastened as in the natural course of things she must ere long be released The suddenness of her reputed illness the absence of her daughter and probably of her other children at the time all favoured the supposition of her imprisonment Its origin jealousy perhaps or wanton cruelty was yet to be unravelled {para} In revolving these matters while she undressed it suddenly struck her as not unlikely that she might that morning have passed near the very spot of this unfortunate woman 's confinement might have been within a few paces of the cell in which she languished out her days for what part of the abbey could be more fitted for the purpose than that which yet bore the traces of monastic division In the high arched passage paved with stone which already she had trodden with peculiar awe she well remembered the doors of which the general had given no account To what might not those doors lead In support of the plausibility of this conjecture it further occurred to her that the forbidden gallery in which lay the apartments of the unfortunate Mrs Tilney must be as certainly as her memory could guide her exactly over this suspected range of cells and the staircase by the side of those apartments of which she had caught a transient glimpse communicating by some secret means with those cells might well have favoured the barbarous proceedings of her husband Down that staircase she had perhaps been conveyed in a state of well prepared insensibility {para} Catherine sometimes started at the boldness of her own surmises and sometimes hoped or feared that she had gone too far but they were supported by such appearances as made their dismissal impossible {para} The side of the quadrangle in which she supposed the guilty scene to be acting being according to her belief just opposite her own it struck her that if judiciously watched some rays of light from the general 's lamp might glimmer through the lower windows as he passed to the prison of his wife and twice before she stepped into bed she stole gently from her room to the corresponding window in the gallery to see if it appeared but all abroad was dark and it must yet be too early The various ascending noises convinced her that the servants must still be up Till midnight she supposed it would be in vain to watch but then when the clock had struck twelve and all was quiet she would if not quite appalled by darkness steal out and look once more The clock struck twelve and Catherine had been half an hour asleep {para} CHAPTER 24 {para} The next day afforded no opportunity for the proposed examination of the mysterious apartments It was Sunday and the whole time between morning and afternoon service was required by the general in exercise abroad or eating cold meat at home and great as was Catherine 's curiosity her courage was not equal to a wish of exploring them after dinner either by the fading light of the sky between six and seven o'clock or by the yet more partial though stronger illumination of a treacherous lamp The day was unmarked therefore by anything to interest her imagination beyond the sight of a very elegant monument to the memory of Mrs Tilney which immediately fronted the family pew By that her eye was instantly caught and long retained and the perusal of the highly strained epitaph in which every virtue was ascribed to her by the inconsolable husband who must have been in some way or other her destroyer affected her even to tears {para} That the general having erected such a monument should be able to face it was not perhaps very strange and yet that he could sit so boldly collected within its view maintain so elevated an air look so fearlessly around nay that he should even enter the church seemed wonderful to Catherine Not however that many instances of beings equally hardened in guilt might not be produced She could remember dozens who had persevered in every possible vice going on from crime to crime murdering whomsoever they chose without any feeling of humanity or remorse till a violent death or a religious retirement closed their black career The erection of the monument itself could not in the smallest degree affect her doubts of Mrs Tilney 's actual decease Were she even to descend into the family vault where her ashes were supposed to slumber were she to behold the coffin in which they were said to be enclosed what could it avail in such a case Catherine had read too much not to be perfectly aware of the ease with which a waxen figure might be introduced and a supposititious funeral carried on {para} The succeeding morning promised something better The general 's early walk ill timed as it was in every other view was favourable here and when she knew him to be out of the house she directly proposed to Miss Tilney the accomplishment of her promise Eleanor was ready to oblige her and Catherine reminding her as they went of another promise their first visit in consequence was to the portrait in her bed chamber It represented a very lovely woman with a mild and pensive countenance justifying so far the expectations of its new observer but they were not in every respect answered for Catherine had depended upon meeting with features hair complexion that should be the very counterpart the very image if not of Henry 's of Eleanor 's the only portraits of which she had been in the habit of thinking bearing always an equal resemblance of mother and child A face once taken was taken for generations But here she was obliged to look and consider and study for a likeness She contemplated it however in spite of this drawback with much emotion and but for a yet stronger interest would have left it unwillingly {para} Her agitation as they entered the great gallery was too much for any endeavour at discourse she could only look at her companion Eleanor 's countenance was dejected yet sedate and its composure spoke her inured to all the gloomy objects to which they were advancing Again she passed through the folding doors again her hand was upon the important lock and Catherine hardly able to breathe was turning to close the former with fearful caution when the figure the dreaded figure of the general himself at the further end of the gallery stood before her The name of Eleanor at the same moment in his loudest tone resounded through the building giving to his daughter the first intimation of his presence and to Catherine terror upon terror An attempt at concealment had been her first instinctive movement on perceiving him yet she could scarcely hope to have escaped his eye and when her friend who with an apologizing look darted hastily by her had joined and disappeared with him she ran for safety to her own room and locking herself in believed that she should never have courage to go down again She remained there at least an hour in the greatest agitation deeply commiserating the state of her poor friend and expecting a summons herself from the angry general to attend him in his own apartment No summons however arrived and at last on seeing a carriage drive up to the abbey she was emboldened to descend and meet him under the protection of visitors The breakfast room was gay with company and she was named to them by the general as the friend of his daughter in a complimentary style which so well concealed his resentful ire as to make her feel secure at least of life for the present And Eleanor with a command of countenance which did honour to her concern for his character taking an early occasion of saying to her My father only wanted me to answer a note she began to hope that she had either been unseen by the general or that from some consideration of policy she should be allowed to suppose herself so Upon this trust she dared still to remain in his presence after the company left them and nothing occurred to disturb it {para} In the course of this morning 's reflections she came to a resolution of making her next attempt on the forbidden door alone It would be much better in every respect that Eleanor should know nothing of the matter To involve her in the danger of a second detection to court her into an apartment which must wring her heart could not be the office of a friend The general 's utmost anger could not be to herself what it might be to a daughter and besides she thought the examination itself would be more satisfactory if made without any companion It would be impossible to explain to Eleanor the suspicions from which the other had in all likelihood been hitherto happily exempt nor could she therefore in her presence search for those proofs of the general 's cruelty which however they might yet have escaped discovery she felt confident of somewhere drawing forth in the shape of some fragmented journal continued to the last gasp Of the way to the apartment she was now perfectly mistress and as she wished to get it over before Henry 's return who was expected on the morrow there was no time to be lost The day was bright her courage high at four o'clock the sun was now two hours above the horizon and it would be only her retiring to dress half an hour earlier than usual {para} It was done and Catherine found herself alone in the gallery before the clocks had ceased to strike It was no time for thought she hurried on slipped with the least possible noise through the folding doors and without stopping to look or breathe rushed forward to the one in question The lock yielded to her hand and luckily with no sullen sound that could alarm a human being On tiptoe she entered the room was before her but it was some minutes before she could advance another step She beheld what fixed her to the spot and agitated every feature She saw a large well proportioned apartment an handsome dimity bed arranged as unoccupied with an housemaid 's care a bright Bath stove mahogany wardrobes and neatly painted chairs on which the warm beams of a western sun gaily poured through two sash windows Catherine had expected to have her feelings worked and worked they were Astonishment and doubt first seized them and a shortly succeeding ray of common sense added some bitter emotions of shame She could not be mistaken as to the room but how grossly mistaken in everything else in Miss Tilney 's meaning in her own calculation This apartment to which she had given a date so ancient a position so awful proved to be one end of what the general 's father had built There were two other doors in the chamber leading probably into dressing closets but she had no inclination to open either Would the veil in which Mrs Tilney had last walked or the volume in which she had last read remain to tell what nothing else was allowed to whisper No whatever might have been the general 's crimes he had certainly too much wit to let them sue for detection She was sick of exploring and desired but to be safe in her own room with her own heart only privy to its folly and she was on the point of retreating as softly as she had entered when the sound of footsteps she could hardly tell where made her pause and tremble To be found there even by a servant would be unpleasant but by the general and he seemed always at hand when least wanted much worse She listened the sound had ceased and resolving not to lose a moment she passed through and closed the door At that instant a door underneath was hastily opened someone seemed with swift steps to ascend the stairs by the head of which she had yet to pass before she could gain the gallery She bad no power to move With a feeling of terror not very definable she fixed her eyes on the staircase and in a few moments it gave Henry to her view Mr Tilney she exclaimed in a voice of more than common astonishment He looked astonished too Good God she continued not attending to his address How came you here How came you up that staircase {para} How came I up that staircase he replied greatly surprised Because it is my nearest way from the stable yard to my own chamber and why should I not come up it {para} Catherine recollected herself blushed deeply and could say no more He seemed to be looking in her countenance for that explanation which her lips did not afford She moved on towards the gallery And may I not in my turn said he as be pushed back the folding doors ask how you came here This passage is at least as extraordinary a road from the breakfast parlour to your apartment as that staircase can be from the stables to mine {para} I have been said Catherine looking down to see your mother 's room {para} My mother 's room Is there anything extraordinary to be seen there {para} No nothing at all I thought you did not mean to come back till tomorrow {para} I did not expect to be able to return sooner when I went away but three hours ago I had the pleasure of finding nothing to detain me You look pale I am afraid I alarmed you by running so fast up those stairs Perhaps you did not know you were not aware of their leading from the offices in common use {para} No I was not You have had a very fine day for your ride {para} Very and does Eleanor leave you to find your way into an the rooms in the house by yourself {para} Oh No she showed me over the greatest part on Saturday and we were coming here to these rooms but only dropping her voice your father was with us {para} And that prevented you said Henry earnestly regarding her Have you looked into all the rooms in that passage {para} No I only wanted to see Is not it very late I must go and dress {para} It is only a quarter past four showing his watch and you are not now in Bath No theatre no rooms to prepare for Half an hour at Northanger must be enough {para} She could not contradict it and therefore suffered herself to be detained though her dread of further questions made her for the first time in their acquaintance wish to leave him They walked slowly up the gallery Have you had any letter from Bath since I saw you {para} No and I am very much surprised Isabella promised so faithfully to write directly {para} Promised so faithfully A faithful promise That puzzles me I have heard of a faithful performance But a faithful promise the fidelity of promising It is a power little worth knowing however since it can deceive and pain you My mother 's room is very commodious is it not Large and cheerful looking and the dressing closets so well disposed It always strikes me as the most comfortable apartment in the house and I rather wonder that Eleanor should not take it for her own She sent you to look at it I suppose {para} No {para} It has been your own doing entirely Catherine said nothing After a short silence during which he had closely observed her he added As there is nothing in the room in itself to raise curiosity this must have proceeded from a sentiment of respect for my mother 's character as described by Eleanor which does honour to her memory The world I believe never saw a better woman But it is not often that virtue can boast an interest such as this The domestic unpretending merits of a person never known do not often create that kind of fervent venerating tenderness which would prompt a visit like yours Eleanor I suppose has talked of her a great deal {para} Yes a great deal That is no not much but what she did say was very interesting Her dying so suddenly slowly and with hesitation it was spoken and you none of you being at home and your father I thought perhaps had not been very fond of her {para} And from these circumstances he replied his quick eye fixed on hers you infer perhaps the probability of some negligence some involuntarily she shook her head or it may be of something still less pardonable She raised her eyes towards him more fully than she had ever done before My mother 's illness he continued the seizure which ended in her death was sudden The malady itself one from which she had often suffered a bilious fever its cause therefore constitutional On the third day in short as soon as she could be prevailed on a physician attended her a very respectable man and one in whom she had always placed great confidence Upon his opinion of her danger two others were called in the next day and remained in almost constant attendance for four and twenty hours On the fifth day she died During the progress of her disorder Frederick and I we were both at home saw her repeatedly and from our own observation can bear witness to her having received every possible attention which could spring from the affection of those about her or which her situation in life could command Poor Eleanor was absent and at such a distance as to return only to see her mother in her coffin {para} But your father said Catherine was he afflicted {para} For a time greatly so You have erred in supposing him not attached to her He loved her I am persuaded as well as it was possible for him to we have not all you know the same tenderness of disposition and I will not pretend to say that while she lived she might not often have had much to bear but though his temper injured her his judgment never did His value of her was sincere and if not permanently he was truly afflicted by her death {para} I am very glad of it said Catherine it would have been very shocking {para} If I understand you rightly you had formed a surmise of such horror as I have hardly words to Dear Miss Morland consider the dreadful nature of the suspicions you have entertained What have you been judging from Remember the country and the age in which we live Remember that we are English that we are Christians Consult your own understanding your own sense of the probable your own observation of what is passing around you Does our education prepare us for such atrocities Do our laws connive at them Could they be perpetrated without being known in a country like this where social and literary intercourse is on such a footing where every man is surrounded by a neighbourhood of voluntary spies and where roads and newspapers lay everything open Dearest Miss Morland what ideas have you been admitting {para} They had reached the end of the gallery and with tears of shame she ran off to her own room {para} CHAPTER 25 {para} The visions of romance were over Catherine was completely awakened Henry 's address short as it had been had more thoroughly opened her eyes to the extravagance of her late fancies than all their several disappointments had done Most grievously was she humbled Most bitterly did she cry It was not only with herself that she was sunk but with Henry Her folly which now seemed even criminal was all exposed to him and he must despise her forever The liberty which her imagination had dared to take with the character of his father could he ever forgive it The absurdity of her curiosity and her fears could they ever be forgotten She hated herself more than she could express He had she thought he had once or twice before this fatal morning shown something like affection for her But now in short she made herself as miserable as possible for about half an hour went down when the clock struck five with a broken heart and could scarcely give an intelligible answer to Eleanor 's inquiry if she was well The formidable Henry soon followed her into the room and the only difference in his behaviour to her was that he paid her rather more attention than usual Catherine had never wanted comfort more and he looked as if he was aware of it {para} The evening wore away with no abatement of this soothing politeness and her spirits were gradually raised to a modest tranquillity She did not learn either to forget or defend the past but she learned to hope that it would never transpire farther and that it might not cost her Henry 's entire regard Her thoughts being still chiefly fixed on what she had with such causeless terror felt and done nothing could shortly be clearer than that it had been all a voluntary self created delusion each trifling circumstance receiving importance from an imagination resolved on alarm and everything forced to bend to one purpose by a mind which before she entered the abbey had been craving to be frightened She remembered with what feelings she had prepared for a knowledge of Northanger She saw that the infatuation had been created the mischief settled long before her quitting Bath and it seemed as if the whole might be traced to the influence of that sort of reading which she had there indulged {para} Charming as were all Mrs Radcliffe 's works and charming even as were the works of all her imitators it was not in them perhaps that human nature at least in the Midland counties of England was to be looked for Of the Alps and Pyrenees with their pine forests and their vices they might give a faithful delineation and Italy Switzerland and the south of France might be as fruitful in horrors as they were there represented Catherine dared not doubt beyond her own country and even of that if hard pressed would have yielded the northern and western extremities But in the central part of England there was surely some security for the existence even of a wife not beloved in the laws of the land and the manners of the age Murder was not tolerated servants were not slaves and neither poison nor sleeping potions to be procured like rhubarb from every druggist Among the Alps and Pyrenees perhaps there were no mixed characters There such as were not as spotless as an angel might have the dispositions of a fiend But in England it was not so among the English she believed in their hearts and habits there was a general though unequal mixture of good and bad Upon this conviction she would not be surprised if even in Henry and Eleanor Tilney some slight imperfection might hereafter appear and upon this conviction she need not fear to acknowledge some actual specks in the character of their father who though cleared from the grossly injurious suspicions which she must ever blush to have entertained she did believe upon serious consideration to be not perfectly amiable {para} Her mind made up on these several points and her resolution formed of always judging and acting in future with the greatest good sense she had nothing to do but to forgive herself and be happier than ever and the lenient hand of time did much for her by insensible gradations in the course of another day Henry 's astonishing generosity and nobleness of conduct in never alluding in the slightest way to what had passed was of the greatest assistance to her and sooner than she could have supposed it possible in the beginning of her distress her spirits became absolutely comfortable and capable as heretofore of continual improvement by anything he said There were still some subjects indeed under which she believed they must always tremble the mention of a chest or a cabinet for instance and she did not love the sight of japan in any shape but even she could allow that an occasional memento of past folly however painful might not be without use {para} The anxieties of common life began soon to succeed to the alarms of romance Her desire of hearing from Isabella grew every day greater She was quite impatient to know how the Bath world went on and how the rooms were attended and especially was she anxious to be assured of Isabella 's having matched some fine netting cotton on which she had left her intent and of her continuing on the best terms with James Her only dependence for information of any kind was on Isabella James had protested against writing to her till his return to Oxford and Mrs Allen had given her no hopes of a letter till she had got back to Fullerton But Isabella had promised and promised again and when she promised a thing she was so scrupulous in performing it This made it so particularly strange {para} For nine successive mornings Catherine wondered over the repetition of a disappointment which each morning became more severe but on the tenth when she entered the breakfast room her first object was a letter held out by Henry 's willing hand She thanked him as heartily as if he had written it himself Tis only from James however as she looked at the direction She opened it it was from Oxford and to this purpose {para} Dear Catherine {para} Though God knows with little inclination for writing I think it my duty to tell you that everything is at an end between Miss Thorpe and me I left her and Bath yesterday never to see either again I shall not enter into particulars they would only pain you more You will soon hear enough from another quarter to know where lies the blame and I hope will acquit your brother of everything but the folly of too easily thinking his affection returned Thank God I am undeceived in time But it is a heavy blow After my father 's consent had been so kindly given but no more of this She has made me miserable forever Let me soon hear from you dear Catherine you are my only friend your love I do build upon I wish your visit at Northanger may be over before Captain Tilney makes his engagement known or you will be uncomfortably circumstanced Poor Thorpe is in town I dread the sight of him his honest heart would feel so much I have written to him and my father Her duplicity hurts me more than all till the very last if I reasoned with her she declared herself as much attached to me as ever and laughed at my fears I am ashamed to think how long I bore with it but if ever man had reason to believe himself loved I was that man I cannot understand even now what she would be at for there could be no need of my being played off to make her secure of Tilney We parted at last by mutual consent happy for me had we never met I can never expect to know such another woman Dearest Catherine beware how you give your heart Believe me &c {para} Catherine had not read three lines before her sudden change of countenance and short exclamations of sorrowing wonder declared her to be receiving unpleasant news and Henry earnestly watching her through the whole letter saw plainly that it ended no better than it began He was prevented however from even looking his surprise by his father 's entrance They went to breakfast directly but Catherine could hardly eat anything Tears filled her eyes and even ran down her cheeks as she sat The letter was one moment in her hand then in her lap and then in her pocket and she looked as if she knew not what she did The general between his cocoa and his newspaper had luckily no leisure for noticing her but to the other two her distress was equally visible As soon as she dared leave the table she hurried away to her own room but the housemaids were busy in it and she was obliged to come down again She turned into the drawing room for privacy but Henry and Eleanor had likewise retreated thither and were at that moment deep in consultation about her She drew back trying to beg their pardon but was with gentle violence forced to return and the others withdrew after Eleanor had affectionately expressed a wish of being of use or comfort to her {para} After half an hour 's free indulgence of grief and reflection Catherine felt equal to encountering her friends but whether she should make her distress known to them was another consideration Perhaps if particularly questioned she might just give an idea just distantly hint at it but not more To expose a friend such a friend as Isabella had been to her and then their own brother so closely concerned in it She believed she must waive the subject altogether Henry and Eleanor were by themselves in the breakfast room and each as she entered it looked at her anxiously Catherine took her place at the table and after a short silence Eleanor said No bad news from Fullerton I hope Mr and Mrs Morland your brothers and sisters I hope they are none of them ill {para} No I thank you sighing as she spoke they are all very well My letter was from my brother at Oxford {para} Nothing further was said for a few minutes and then speaking through her tears she added I do not think I shall ever wish for a letter again {para} I am sorry said Henry closing the book he had just opened if I had suspected the letter of containing anything unwelcome I should have given it with very different feelings {para} It contained something worse than anybody could suppose Poor James is so unhappy You will soon know why {para} To have so kind hearted so affectionate a sister replied Henry warmly must be a comfort to him under any distress {para} I have one favour to beg said Catherine shortly afterwards in an agitated manner that if your brother should be coming here you will give me notice of it that I may go away {para} Our brother Frederick {para} Yes I am sure I should be very sorry to leave you so soon but something has happened that would make it very dreadful for me to be in the same house with Captain Tilney {para} Eleanor 's work was suspended while she gazed with increasing astonishment but Henry began to suspect the truth and something in which Miss Thorpe 's name was included passed his lips {para} How quick you are cried Catherine you have guessed it I declare And yet when we talked about it in Bath you little thought of its ending so Isabella no wonder now I have not heard from her Isabella has deserted my brother and is to marry yours Could you have believed there had been such inconstancy and fickleness and everything that is bad in the world {para} I hope so far as concerns my brother you are misinformed I hope he has not had any material share in bringing on Mr Morland 's disappointment His marrying Miss Thorpe is not probable I think you must be deceived so far I am very sorry for Mr Morland sorry that anyone you love should be unhappy but my surprise would be greater at Frederick 's marrying her than at any other part of the story {para} It is very true however you shall read James 's letter yourself Stay There is one part recollecting with a blush the last line {para} Will you take the trouble of reading to us the passages which concern my brother {para} No read it yourself cried Catherine whose second thoughts were clearer I do not know what I was thinking of blushing again that she had blushed before James only means to give me good advice {para} He gladly received the letter and having read it through with close attention returned it saying Well if it is to be so I can only say that I am sorry for it Frederick will not be the first man who has chosen a wife with less sense than his family expected I do not envy his situation either as a lover or a son {para} Miss Tilney at Catherine 's invitation now read the letter likewise and having expressed also her concern and surprise began to inquire into Miss Thorpe 's connections and fortune {para} Her mother is a very good sort of woman was Catherine 's answer {para} What was her father {para} A lawyer I believe They live at Putney {para} Are they a wealthy family {para} No not very I do not believe Isabella has any fortune at all but that will not signify in your family Your father is so very liberal He told me the other day that he only valued money as it allowed him to promote the happiness of his children The brother and sister looked at each other But said Eleanor after a short pause would it be to promote his happiness to enable him to marry such a girl She must be an unprincipled one or she could not have used your brother so And how strange an infatuation on Frederick 's side A girl who before his eyes is violating an engagement voluntarily entered into with another man Is not it inconceivable Henry Frederick too who always wore his heart so proudly Who found no woman good enough to be loved {para} That is the most unpromising circumstance the strongest presumption against him When I think of his past declarations I give him up Moreover I have too good an opinion of Miss Thorpe 's prudence to suppose that she would part with one gentleman before the other was secured It is all over with Frederick indeed He is a deceased man defunct in understanding Prepare for your sister in law Eleanor and such a sister in law as you must delight in Open candid artless guileless with affections strong but simple forming no pretensions and knowing no disguise {para} Such a sister in law Henry I should delight in said Eleanor with a smile {para} But perhaps observed Catherine though she has behaved so ill by our family she may behave better by yours Now she has really got the man she likes she may be constant {para} Indeed I am afraid she will replied Henry I am afraid she will be very constant unless a baronet should come in her way that is Frederick 's only chance I will get the Bath paper and look over the arrivals {para} You think it is all for ambition then And upon my word there are some things that seem very like it I cannot forget that when she first knew what my father would do for them she seemed quite disappointed that it was not more I never was so deceived in anyone 's character in my life before {para} Among all the great variety that you have known and studied {para} My own disappointment and loss in her is very great but as for poor James I suppose he will hardly ever recover it {para} Your brother is certainly very much to be pitied at present but we must not in our concern for his sufferings undervalue yours You feel I suppose that in losing Isabella you lose half yourself you feel a void in your heart which nothing else can occupy Society is becoming irksome and as for the amusements in which you were wont to share at Bath the very idea of them without her is abhorrent You would not for instance now go to a ball for the world You feel that you have no longer any friend to whom you can speak with unreserve on whose regard you can place dependence or whose counsel in any difficulty you could rely on You feel all this {para} No said Catherine after a few moments reflection I do not ought I To say the truth though I am hurt and grieved that I cannot still love her that I am never to hear from her perhaps never to see her again I do not feel so very very much afflicted as one would have thought {para} You feel as you always do what is most to the credit of human nature Such feelings ought to be investigated that they may know themselves {para} Catherine by some chance or other found her spirits so very much relieved by this conversation that she could not regret her being led on though so unaccountably to mention the circumstance which had produced it {para} CHAPTER 26 {para} From this time the subject was frequently canvassed by the three young people and Catherine found with some surprise that her two young friends were perfectly agreed in considering Isabella 's want of consequence and fortune as likely to throw great difficulties in the way of her marrying their brother Their persuasion that the general would upon this ground alone independent of the objection that might be raised against her character oppose the connection turned her feelings moreover with some alarm towards herself She was as insignificant and perhaps as portionless as Isabella and if the heir of the Tilney property had not grandeur and wealth enough in himself at what point of interest were the demands of his younger brother to rest The very painful reflections to which this thought led could only be dispersed by a dependence on the effect of that particular partiality which as she was given to understand by his words as well as his actions she had from the first been so fortunate as to excite in the general and by a recollection of some most generous and disinterested sentiments on the subject of money which she had more than once heard him utter and which tempted her to think his disposition in such matters misunderstood by his children {para} They were so fully convinced however that their brother would not have the courage to apply in person for his father 's consent and so repeatedly assured her that he had never in his life been less likely to come to Northanger than at the present time that she suffered her mind to be at ease as to the necessity of any sudden removal of her own But as it was not to be supposed that Captain Tilney whenever he made his application would give his father any just idea of Isabella 's conduct it occurred to her as highly expedient that Henry should lay the whole business before him as it really was enabling the general by that means to form a cool and impartial opinion and prepare his objections on a fairer ground than inequality of situations She proposed it to him accordingly but he did not catch at the measure so eagerly as she had expected No said he my father 's hands need not be strengthened and Frederick 's confession of folly need not be forestalled He must tell his own story {para} But he will tell only half of it {para} A quarter would be enough {para} A day or two passed away and brought no tidings of Captain Tilney His brother and sister knew not what to think Sometimes it appeared to them as if his silence would be the natural result of the suspected engagement and at others that it was wholly incompatible with it The general meanwhile though offended every morning by Frederick 's remissness in writing was free from any real anxiety about him and had no more pressing solicitude than that of making Miss Morland 's time at Northanger pass pleasantly He often expressed his uneasiness on this head feared the sameness of every day 's society and employments would disgust her with the place wished the Lady Frasers had been in the country talked every now and then of having a large party to dinner and once or twice began even to calculate the number of young dancing people in the neighbourhood But then it was such a dead time of year no wild fowl no game and the Lady Frasers were not in the country And it all ended at last in his telling Henry one morning that when he next went to Woodston they would take him by surprise there some day or other and eat their mutton with him Henry was greatly honoured and very happy and Catherine was quite delighted with the scheme And when do you think sir I may look forward to this pleasure I must be at Woodston on Monday to attend the parish meeting and shall probably be obliged to stay two or three days {para} Well well we will take our chance some one of those days There is no need to fix You are not to put yourself at all out of your way Whatever you may happen to have in the house will be enough I think I can answer for the young ladies making allowance for a bachelor 's table Let me see Monday will be a busy day with you we will not come on Monday and Tuesday will be a busy one with me I expect my surveyor from Brockham with his report in the morning and afterwards I cannot in decency fail attending the club I really could not face my acquaintance if I stayed away now for as I am known to be in the country it would be taken exceedingly amiss and it is a rule with me Miss Morland never to give offence to any of my neighbours if a small sacrifice of time and attention can prevent it They are a set of very worthy men They have half a buck from Northanger twice a year and I dine with them whenever I can Tuesday therefore we may say is out of the question But on Wednesday I think Henry you may expect us and we shall be with you early that we may have time to look about us Two hours and three quarters will carry us to Woodston I suppose we shall be in the carriage by ten so about a quarter before one on Wednesday you may look for us {para} A ball itself could not have been more welcome to Catherine than this little excursion so strong was her desire to be acquainted with Woodston and her heart was still bounding with joy when Henry about an hour afterwards came booted and greatcoated into the room where she and Eleanor were sitting and said I am come young ladies in a very moralizing strain to observe that our pleasures in this world are always to be paid for and that we often purchase them at a great disadvantage giving ready monied actual happiness for a draft on the future that may not be honoured Witness myself at this present hour Because I am to hope for the satisfaction of seeing you at Woodston on Wednesday which bad weather or twenty other causes may prevent I must go away directly two days before I intended it {para} Go away said Catherine with a very long face And why {para} Why How can you ask the question Because no time is to be lost in frightening my old housekeeper out of her wits because I must go and prepare a dinner for you to be sure {para} Oh Not seriously {para} Aye and sadly too for I had much rather stay {para} But how can you think of such a thing after what the general said When he so particularly desired you not to give yourself any trouble because anything would do {para} Henry only smiled I am sure it is quite unnecessary upon your sister 's account and mine You must know it to be so and the general made such a point of your providing nothing extraordinary besides if he had not said half so much as he did he has always such an excellent dinner at home that sitting down to a middling one for one day could not signify {para} I wish I could reason like you for his sake and my own Good bye As tomorrow is Sunday Eleanor I shall not return {para} He went and it being at any time a much simpler operation to Catherine to doubt her own judgment than Henry 's she was very soon obliged to give him credit for being right however disagreeable to her his going But the inexplicability of the general 's conduct dwelt much on her thoughts That he was very particular in his eating she had by her own unassisted observation already discovered but why he should say one thing so positively and mean another all the while was most unaccountable How were people at that rate to be understood Who but Henry could have been aware of what his father was at {para} From Saturday to Wednesday however they were now to be without Henry This was the sad finale of every reflection and Captain Tilney 's letter would certainly come in his absence and Wednesday she was very sure would be wet The past present and future were all equally in gloom Her brother so unhappy and her loss in Isabella so great and Eleanor 's spirits always affected by Henry 's absence What was there to interest or amuse her She was tired of the woods and the shrubberies always so smooth and so dry and the abbey in itself was no more to her now than any other house The painful remembrance of the folly it had helped to nourish and perfect was the only emotion which could spring from a consideration of the building What a revolution in her ideas She who had so longed to be in an abbey Now there was nothing so charming to her imagination as the unpretending comfort of a well connected parsonage something like Fullerton but better Fullerton had its faults but Woodston probably had none If Wednesday should ever come {para} It did come and exactly when it might be reasonably looked for It came it was fine and Catherine trod on air By ten o'clock the chaise and four conveyed the two from the abbey and after an agreeable drive of almost twenty miles they entered Woodston a large and populous village in a situation not unpleasant Catherine was ashamed to say how pretty she thought it as the general seemed to think an apology necessary for the flatness of the country and the size of the village but in her heart she preferred it to any place she had ever been at and looked with great admiration at every neat house above the rank of a cottage and at all the little chandler 's shops which they passed At the further end of the village and tolerably disengaged from the rest of it stood the parsonage a new built substantial stone house with its semicircular sweep and green gates and as they drove up to the door Henry with the friends of his solitude a large Newfoundland puppy and two or three terriers was ready to receive and make much of them {para} Catherine 's mind was too full as she entered the house for her either to observe or to say a great deal and till called on by the general for her opinion of it she had very little idea of the room in which she was sitting Upon looking round it then she perceived in a moment that it was the most comfortable room in the world but she was too guarded to say so and the coldness of her praise disappointed him {para} We are not calling it a good house said he We are not comparing it with Fullerton and Northanger we are considering it as a mere parsonage small and confined we allow but decent perhaps and habitable and altogether not inferior to the generality or in other words I believe there are few country parsonages in England half so good It may admit of improvement however Far be it from me to say otherwise and anything in reason a bow thrown out perhaps though between ourselves if there is one thing more than another my aversion it is a patched on bow {para} Catherine did not hear enough of this speech to understand or be pained by it and other subjects being studiously brought forward and supported by Henry at the same time that a tray full of refreshments was introduced by his servant the general was shortly restored to his complacency and Catherine to all her usual ease of spirits {para} The room in question was of a commodious well proportioned size and handsomely fitted up as a dining parlour and on their quitting it to walk round the grounds she was shown first into a smaller apartment belonging peculiarly to the master of the house and made unusually tidy on the occasion and afterwards into what was to be the drawing room with the appearance of which though unfurnished Catherine was delighted enough even to satisfy the general It was a prettily shaped room the windows reaching to the ground and the view from them pleasant though only over green meadows and she expressed her admiration at the moment with all the honest simplicity with which she felt it Oh Why do not you fit up this room Mr Tilney What a pity not to have it fitted up It is the prettiest room I ever saw it is the prettiest room in the world {para} I trust said the general with a most satisfied smile that it will very speedily be furnished it waits only for a lady 's taste {para} Well if it was my house I should never sit anywhere else Oh What a sweet little cottage there is among the trees apple trees too It is the prettiest cottage {para} You like it you approve it as an object it is enough Henry remember that Robinson is spoken to about it The cottage remains {para} Such a compliment recalled all Catherine 's consciousness and silenced her directly and though pointedly applied to by the general for her choice of the prevailing colour of the paper and hangings nothing like an opinion on the subject could be drawn from her The influence of fresh objects and fresh air however was of great use in dissipating these embarrassing associations and having reached the ornamental part of the premises consisting of a walk round two sides of a meadow on which Henry 's genius had begun to act about half a year ago she was sufficiently recovered to think it prettier than any pleasure ground she had ever been in before though there was not a shrub in it higher than the green bench in the corner {para} A saunter into other meadows and through part of the village with a visit to the stables to examine some improvements and a charming game of play with a litter of puppies just able to roll about brought them to four o'clock when Catherine scarcely thought it could be three At four they were to dine and at six to set off on their return Never had any day passed so quickly {para} She could not but observe that the abundance of the dinner did not seem to create the smallest astonishment in the general nay that he was even looking at the side table for cold meat which was not there His son and daughter 's observations were of a different kind They had seldom seen him eat so heartily at any table but his own and never before known him so little disconcerted by the melted butter 's being oiled {para} At six o'clock the general having taken his coffee the carriage again received them and so gratifying had been the tenor of his conduct throughout the whole visit so well assured was her mind on the subject of his expectations that could she have felt equally confident of the wishes of his son Catherine would have quitted Woodston with little anxiety as to the How or the When she might return to it {para} CHAPTER 27 {para} The next morning brought the following very unexpected letter from Isabella {para} Bath April {para} My dearest Catherine I received your two kind letters with the greatest delight and have a thousand apologies to make for not answering them sooner I really am quite ashamed of my idleness but in this horrid place one can find time for nothing I have had my pen in my hand to begin a letter to you almost every day since you left Bath but have always been prevented by some silly trifler or other Pray write to me soon and direct to my own home Thank God we leave this vile place tomorrow Since you went away I have had no pleasure in it the dust is beyond anything and everybody one cares for is gone I believe if I could see you I should not mind the rest for you are dearer to me than anybody can conceive I am quite uneasy about your dear brother not having heard from him since he went to Oxford and am fearful of some misunderstanding Your kind offices will set all right he is the only man I ever did or could love and I trust you will convince him of it The spring fashions are partly down and the hats the most frightful you can imagine I hope you spend your time pleasantly but am afraid you never think of me I will not say all that I could of the family you are with because I would not be ungenerous or set you against those you esteem but it is very difficult to know whom to trust and young men never know their minds two days together I rejoice to say that the young man whom of all others I particularly abhor has left Bath You will know from this description I must mean Captain Tilney who as you may remember was amazingly disposed to follow and tease me before you went away Afterwards he got worse and became quite my shadow Many girls might have been taken in for never were such attentions but I knew the fickle sex too well He went away to his regiment two days ago and I trust I shall never be plagued with him again He is the greatest coxcomb I ever saw and amazingly disagreeable The last two days he was always by the side of Charlotte Davis I pitied his taste but took no notice of him The last time we met was in Bath Street and I turned directly into a shop that he might not speak to me I would not even look at him He went into the pump room afterwards but I would not have followed him for all the world Such a contrast between him and your brother Pray send me some news of the latter I am quite unhappy about him he seemed so uncomfortable when he went away with a cold or something that affected his spirits I would write to him myself but have mislaid his direction and as I hinted above am afraid he took something in my conduct amiss Pray explain everything to his satisfaction or if he still harbours any doubt a line from himself to me or a call at Putney when next in town might set all to rights I have not been to the rooms this age nor to the play except going in last night with the Hodges for a frolic at half price they teased me into it and I was determined they should not say I shut myself up because Tilney was gone We happened to sit by the Mitchells and they pretended to be quite surprised to see me out I knew their spite at one time they could not be civil to me but now they are all friendship but I am not such a fool as to be taken in by them You know I have a pretty good spirit of my own Anne Mitchell had tried to put on a turban like mine as I wore it the week before at the concert but made wretched work of it it happened to become my odd face I believe at least Tilney told me so at the time and said every eye was upon me but he is the last man whose word I would take I wear nothing but purple now I know I look hideous in it but no matter it is your dear brother 's favourite colour Lose no time my dearest sweetest Catherine in writing to him and to me Who ever am etc {para} Such a strain of shallow artifice could not impose even upon Catherine Its inconsistencies contradictions and falsehood struck her from the very first She was ashamed of Isabella and ashamed of having ever loved her Her professions of attachment were now as disgusting as her excuses were empty and her demands impudent Write to James on her behalf No James should never hear Isabella 's name mentioned by her again {para} On Henry 's arrival from Woodston she made known to him and Eleanor their brother 's safety congratulating them with sincerity on it and reading aloud the most material passages of her letter with strong indignation When she had finished it So much for Isabella she cried and for all our intimacy She must think me an idiot or she could not have written so but perhaps this has served to make her character better known to me than mine is to her I see what she has been about She is a vain coquette and her tricks have not answered I do not believe she had ever any regard either for James or for me and I wish I had never known her {para} It will soon be as if you never had said Henry {para} There is but one thing that I cannot understand I see that she has had designs on Captain Tilney which have not succeeded but I do not understand what Captain Tilney has been about all this time Why should he pay her such attentions as to make her quarrel with my brother and then fly off himself {para} I have very little to say for Frederick 's motives such as I believe them to have been He has his vanities as well as Miss Thorpe and the chief difference is that having a stronger head they have not yet injured himself If the effect of his behaviour does not justify him with you we had better not seek after the cause {para} Then you do not suppose he ever really cared about her {para} I am persuaded that he never did {para} And only made believe to do so for mischief 's sake {para} Henry bowed his assent {para} Well then I must say that I do not like him at all Though it has turned out so well for us I do not like him at all As it happens there is no great harm done because I do not think Isabella has any heart to lose But suppose he had made her very much in love with him {para} But we must first suppose Isabella to have had a heart to lose consequently to have been a very different creature and in that case she would have met with very different treatment {para} It is very right that you should stand by your brother {para} And if you would stand by yours you would not be much distressed by the disappointment of Miss Thorpe But your mind is warped by an innate principle of general integrity and therefore not accessible to the cool reasonings of family partiality or a desire of revenge {para} Catherine was complimented out of further bitterness Frederick could not be unpardonably guilty while Henry made himself so agreeable She resolved on not answering Isabella 's letter and tried to think no more of it {para} CHAPTER 28 {para} Soon after this the general found himself obliged to go to London for a week and he left Northanger earnestly regretting that any necessity should rob him even for an hour of Miss Morland 's company and anxiously recommending the study of her comfort and amusement to his children as their chief object in his absence His departure gave Catherine the first experimental conviction that a loss may be sometimes a gain The happiness with which their time now passed every employment voluntary every laugh indulged every meal a scene of ease and good humour walking where they liked and when they liked their hours pleasures and fatigues at their own command made her thoroughly sensible of the restraint which the general 's presence had imposed and most thankfully feel their present release from it Such ease and such delights made her love the place and the people more and more every day and had it not been for a dread of its soon becoming expedient to leave the one and an apprehension of not being equally beloved by the other she would at each moment of each day have been perfectly happy but she was now in the fourth week of her visit before the general came home the fourth week would be turned and perhaps it might seem an intrusion if she stayed much longer This was a painful consideration whenever it occurred and eager to get rid of such a weight on her mind she very soon resolved to speak to Eleanor about it at once propose going away and be guided in her conduct by the manner in which her proposal might be taken {para} Aware that if she gave herself much time she might feel it difficult to bring forward so unpleasant a subject she took the first opportunity of being suddenly alone with Eleanor and of Eleanor 's being in the middle of a speech about something very different to start forth her obligation of going away very soon Eleanor looked and declared herself much concerned She had hoped for the pleasure of her company for a much longer time had been misled perhaps by her wishes to suppose that a much longer visit had been promised and could not but think that if Mr and Mrs Morland were aware of the pleasure it was to her to have her there they would be too generous to hasten her return Catherine explained Oh As to that Papa and Mamma were in no hurry at all As long as she was happy they would always be satisfied {para} Then why might she ask in such a hurry herself to leave them {para} Oh Because she had been there so long {para} Nay if you can use such a word I can urge you no farther If you think it long {para} Oh No I do not indeed For my own pleasure I could stay with you as long again And it was directly settled that till she had her leaving them was not even to be thought of In having this cause of uneasiness so pleasantly removed the force of the other was likewise weakened The kindness the earnestness of Eleanor 's manner in pressing her to stay and Henry 's gratified look on being told that her stay was determined were such sweet proofs of her importance with them as left her only just so much solicitude as the human mind can never do comfortably without She did almost always believe that Henry loved her and quite always that his father and sister loved and even wished her to belong to them and believing so far her doubts and anxieties were merely sportive irritations {para} Henry was not able to obey his father 's injunction of remaining wholly at Northanger in attendance on the ladies during his absence in London the engagements of his curate at Woodston obliging him to leave them on Saturday for a couple of nights His loss was not now what it had been while the general was at home it lessened their gaiety but did not ruin their comfort and the two girls agreeing in occupation and improving in intimacy found themselves so well sufficient for the time to themselves that it was eleven o'clock rather a late hour at the abbey before they quitted the supper room on the day of Henry 's departure They had just reached the head of the stairs when it seemed as far as the thickness of the walls would allow them to judge that a carriage was driving up to the door and the next moment confirmed the idea by the loud noise of the house bell After the first perturbation of surprise had passed away in a Good heaven What can be the matter it was quickly decided by Eleanor to be her eldest brother whose arrival was often as sudden if not quite so unseasonable and accordingly she hurried down to welcome him {para} Catherine walked on to her chamber making up her mind as well as she could to a further acquaintance with Captain Tilney and comforting herself under the unpleasant impression his conduct had given her and the persuasion of his being by far too fine a gentleman to approve of her that at least they should not meet under such circumstances as would make their meeting materially painful She trusted he would never speak of Miss Thorpe and indeed as he must by this time be ashamed of the part he had acted there could be no danger of it and as long as all mention of Bath scenes were avoided she thought she could behave to him very civilly In such considerations time passed away and it was certainly in his favour that Eleanor should be so glad to see him and have so much to say for half an hour was almost gone since his arrival and Eleanor did not come up {para} At that moment Catherine thought she heard her step in the gallery and listened for its continuance but all was silent Scarcely however had she convicted her fancy of error when the noise of something moving close to her door made her start it seemed as if someone was touching the very doorway and in another moment a slight motion of the lock proved that some hand must be on it She trembled a little at the idea of anyone 's approaching so cautiously but resolving not to be again overcome by trivial appearances of alarm or misled by a raised imagination she stepped quietly forward and opened the door Eleanor and only Eleanor stood there Catherine 's spirits however were tranquillized but for an instant for Eleanor 's cheeks were pale and her manner greatly agitated Though evidently intending to come in it seemed an effort to enter the room and a still greater to speak when there Catherine supposing some uneasiness on Captain Tilney 's account could only express her concern by silent attention obliged her to be seated rubbed her temples with lavender water and hung over her with affectionate solicitude My dear Catherine you must not you must not indeed were Eleanor 's first connected words I am quite well This kindness distracts me I cannot bear it I come to you on such an errand {para} Errand To me {para} How shall I tell you Oh How shall I tell you {para} A new idea now darted into Catherine 's mind and turning as pale as her friend she exclaimed Tis a messenger from Woodston {para} You are mistaken indeed returned Eleanor looking at her most compassionately it is no one from Woodston It is my father himself Her voice faltered and her eyes were turned to the ground as she mentioned his name His unlooked for return was enough in itself to make Catherine 's heart sink and for a few moments she hardly supposed there were anything worse to be told She said nothing and Eleanor endeavouring to collect herself and speak with firmness but with eyes still cast down soon went on You are too good I am sure to think the worse of me for the part I am obliged to perform I am indeed a most unwilling messenger After what has so lately passed so lately been settled between us how joyfully how thankfully on my side as to your continuing here as I hoped for many many weeks longer how can I tell you that your kindness is not to be accepted and that the happiness your company has hitherto given us is to be repaid by But I must not trust myself with words My dear Catherine we are to part My father has recollected an engagement that takes our whole family away on Monday We are going to Lord Longtown 's near Hereford for a fortnight Explanation and apology are equally impossible I cannot attempt either {para} My dear Eleanor cried Catherine suppressing her feelings as well as she could do not be so distressed A second engagement must give way to a first I am very very sorry we are to part so soon and so suddenly too but I am not offended indeed I am not I can finish my visit here you know at any time or I hope you will come to me Can you when you return from this lord 's come to Fullerton {para} It will not be in my power Catherine {para} Come when you can then {para} Eleanor made no answer and Catherine 's thoughts recurring to something more directly interesting she added thinkng aloud Monday so soon as Monday and you all go Well I am certain of I shall be able to take leave however I need not go till just before you do you know Do not be distressed Eleanor I can go on Monday very well My father and mother 's having no notice of it is of very little consequence The general will send a servant with me I dare say half the way and then I shall soon be at Salisbury and then I am only nine miles from home {para} Ah Catherine Were it settled so it would be somewhat less intolerable though in such common attentions you would have received but half what you ought But how can I tell you tomorrow morning is fixed for your leaving us and not even the hour is left to your choice the very carriage is ordered and will be here at seven o'clock and no servant will be offered you {para} Catherine sat down breathless and speechless I could hardly believe my senses when I heard it and no displeasure no resentment that you can feel at this moment however justly great can be more than I myself but I must not talk of what I felt Oh That I could suggest anything in extenuation Good God What will your father and mother say After courting you from the protection of real friends to this almost double distance from your home to have you driven out of the house without the considerations even of decent civility Dear dear Catherine in being the bearer of such a message I seem guilty myself of all its insult yet I trust you will acquit me for you must have been long enough in this house to see that I am but a nominal mistress of it that my real power is nothing {para} Have I offended the general said Catherine in a faltering voice {para} Alas For my feelings as a daughter all that I know all that I answer for is that you can have given him no just cause of offence He certainly is greatly very greatly discomposed I have seldom seen him more so His temper is not happy and something has now occurred to ruffle it in an uncommon degree some disappointment some vexation which just at this moment seems important but which I can hardly suppose you to have any concern in for how is it possible {para} It was with pain that Catherine could speak at all and it was only for Eleanor 's sake that she attempted it I am sure said she I am very sorry if I have offended him It was the last thing I would willingly have done But do not be unhappy Eleanor An engagement you know must be kept I am only sorry it was not recollected sooner that I might have written home But it is of very little consequence {para} I hope I earnestly hope that to your real safety it will be of none but to everything else it is of the greatest consequence to comfort appearance propriety to your family to the world Were your friends the Allens still in Bath you might go to them with comparative ease a few hours would take you there but a journey of seventy miles to be taken post by you at your age alone unattended {para} Oh the journey is nothing Do not think about that And if we are to part a few hours sooner or later you know makes no difference I can be ready by seven Let me be called in time Eleanor saw that she wished to be alone and believing it better for each that they should avoid any further conversation now left her with I shall see you in the morning {para} Catherine 's swelling heart needed relief In Eleanor 's presence friendship and pride had equally restrained her tears but no sooner was she gone than they burst forth in torrents Turned from the house and in such a way Without any reason that could justify any apology that could atone for the abruptness the rudeness nay the insolence of it Henry at a distance not able even to bid him farewell Every hope every expectation from him suspended at least and who could say how long Who could say when they might meet again And all this by such a man as General Tilney so polite so well bred and heretofore so particularly fond of her It was as incomprehensible as it was mortifying and grievous From what it could arise and where it would end were considerations of equal perplexity and alarm The manner in which it was done so grossly uncivil hurrying her away without any reference to her own convenience or allowing her even the appearance of choice as to the time or mode of her travelling of two days the earliest fixed on and of that almost the earliest hour as if resolved to have her gone before he was stirring in the morning that he might not be obliged even to see her What could all this mean but an intentional affront By some means or other she must have had the misfortune to offend him Eleanor had wished to spare her from so painful a notion but Catherine could not believe it possible that any injury or any misfortune could provoke such ill will against a person not connected or at least not supposed to be connected with it {para} Heavily passed the night Sleep or repose that deserved the name of sleep was out of the question That room in which her disturbed imagination had tormented her on her first arrival was again the scene of agitated spirits and unquiet slumbers Yet how different now the source of her inquietude from what it had been then how mournfully superior in reality and substance Her anxiety had foundation in fact her fears in probability and with a mind so occupied in the contemplation of actual and natural evil the solitude of her situation the darkness of her chamber the antiquity of the building were felt and considered without the smallest emotion and though the wind was high and often produced strange and sudden noises throughout the house she heard it all as she lay awake hour after hour without curiosity or terror {para} Soon after six Eleanor entered her room eager to show attention or give assistance where it was possible but very little remained to be done Catherine had not loitered she was almost dressed and her packing almost finished The possibility of some conciliatory message from the general occurred to her as his daughter appeared What so natural as that anger should pass away and repentance succeed it And she only wanted to know how far after what had passed an apology might properly be received by her But the knowledge would have been useless here it was not called for neither clemency nor dignity was put to the trial Eleanor brought no message Very little passed between them on meeting each found her greatest safety in silence and few and trivial were the sentences exchanged while they remained upstairs Catherine in busy agitation completing her dress and Eleanor with more goodwill than experience intent upon filling the trunk When everything was done they left the room Catherine lingering only half a minute behind her friend to throw a parting glance on every well known cherished object and went down to the breakfast parlour where breakfast was prepared She tried to eat as well to save herself from the pain of being urged as to make her friend comfortable but she had no appetite and could not swallow many mouthfuls The contrast between this and her last breakfast in that room gave her fresh misery and strengthened her distaste for everything before her It was not four and twenty hours ago since they had met there to the same repast but in circumstances how different With what cheerful ease what happy though false security had she then looked around her enjoying everything present and fearing little in future beyond Henry 's going to Woodston for a day Happy happy breakfast For Henry had been there Henry had sat by her and helped her These reflections were long indulged undisturbed by any address from her companion who sat as deep in thought as herself and the appearance of the carriage was the first thing to startle and recall them to the present moment Catherine 's colour rose at the sight of it and the indignity with which she was treated striking at that instant on her mind with peculiar force made her for a short time sensible only of resentment Eleanor seemed now impelled into resolution and speech {para} You must write to me Catherine she cried you must let me hear from you as soon as possible Till I know you to be safe at home I shall not have an hour 's comfort For one letter at all risks all hazards I must entreat Let me have the satisfaction of knowing that you are safe at Fullerton and have found your family well and then till I can ask for your correspondence as I ought to do I will not expect more Direct to me at Lord Longtown 's and I must ask it under cover to Alice {para} No Eleanor if you are not allowed to receive a letter from me I am sure I had better not write There can be no doubt of my getting home safe {para} Eleanor only replied I cannot wonder at your feelings I will not importune you I will trust to your own kindness of heart when I am at a distance from you But this with the look of sorrow accompanying it was enough to melt Catherine 's pride in a moment and she instantly said Oh Eleanor I will write to you indeed {para} There was yet another point which Miss Tilney was anxious to settle though somewhat embarrassed in speaking of It had occurred to her that after so long an absence from home Catherine might not be provided with money enough for the expenses of her journey and upon suggesting it to her with most affectionate offers of accommodation it proved to be exactly the case Catherine had never thought on the subject till that moment but upon examining her purse was convinced that but for this kindness of her friend she might have been turned from the house without even the means of getting home and the distress in which she must have been thereby involved filling the minds of both scarcely another word was said by either during the time of their remaining together Short however was that time The carriage was soon announced to be ready and Catherine instantly rising a long and affectionate embrace supplied the place of language in bidding each other adieu and as they entered the hall unable to leave the house without some mention of one whose name had not yet been spoken by either she paused a moment and with quivering lips just made it intelligible that she left her kind remembrance for her absent friend But with this approach to his name ended all possibility of restraining her feelings and hiding her face as well as she could with her handkerchief she darted across the hall jumped into the chaise and in a moment was driven from the door {para} CHAPTER 29 {para} Catherine was too wretched to be fearful The journey in itself had no terrors for her and she began it without either dreading its length or feeling its solitariness Leaning back in one comer of the carriage in a violent burst of tears she was conveyed some miles beyond the walls of the abbey before she raised her head and the highest point of ground within the park was almost closed from her view before she was capable of turning her eyes towards it Unfortunately the road she now travelled was the same which only ten days ago she had so happily passed along in going to and from Woodston and for fourteen miles every bitter feeling was rendered more severe by the review of objects on which she had first looked under impressions so different Every mile as it brought her nearer Woodston added to her sufferings and when within the distance of five she passed the turning which led to it and thought of Henry so near yet so unconscious her grief and agitation were excessive {para} The day which she had spent at that place had been one of the happiest of her life It was there it was on that day that the general had made use of such expressions with regard to Henry and herself had so spoken and so looked as to give her the most positive conviction of his actually wishing their marriage Yes only ten days ago had he elated her by his pointed regard had he even confused her by his too significant reference And now what had she done or what had she omitted to do to merit such a change {para} The only offence against him of which she could accuse herself had been such as was scarcely possible to reach his knowledge Henry and her own heart only were privy to the shocking suspicions which she had so idly entertained and equally safe did she believe her secret with each Designedly at least Henry could not have betrayed her If indeed by any strange mischance his father should have gained intelligence of what she had dared to think and look for of her causeless fancies and injurious examinations she could not wonder at any degree of his indignation If aware of her having viewed him as a murderer she could not wonder at his even turning her from his house But a justification so full of torture to herself she trusted would not be in his power {para} Anxious as were all her conjectures on this point it was not however the one on which she dwelt most There was a thought yet nearer a more prevailing more impetuous concern How Henry would think and feel and look when he returned on the morrow to Northanger and heard of her being gone was a question of force and interest to rise over every other to be never ceasing alternately irritating and soothing it sometimes suggested the dread of his calm acquiescence and at others was answered by the sweetest confidence in his regret and resentment To the general of course he would not dare to speak but to Eleanor what might he not say to Eleanor about her {para} In this unceasing recurrence of doubts and inquiries on any one article of which her mind was incapable of more than momentary repose the hours passed away and her journey advanced much faster than she looked for The pressing anxieties of thought which prevented her from noticing anything before her when once beyond the neighbourhood of Woodston saved her at the same time from watching her progress and though no object on the road could engage a moment 's attention she found no stage of it tedious From this she was preserved too by another cause by feeling no eagerness for her journey 's conclusion for to return in such a manner to Fullerton was almost to destroy the pleasure of a meeting with those she loved best even after an absence such as hers an eleven weeks absence What had she to say that would not humble herself and pain her family that would not increase her own grief by the confession of it extend an useless resentment and perhaps involve the innocent with the guilty in undistinguishing ill will She could never do justice to Henry and Eleanor 's merit she felt it too strongly for expression and should a dislike be taken against them should they be thought of unfavourably on their father 's account it would cut her to the heart {para} With these feelings she rather dreaded than sought for the first view of that well known spire which would announce her within twenty miles of home Salisbury she had known to be her point on leaving Northanger but after the first stage she had been indebted to the post masters for the names of the places which were then to conduct her to it so great had been her ignorance of her route She met with nothing however to distress or frighten her Her youth civil manners and liberal pay procured her all the attention that a traveller like herself could require and stopping only to change horses she travelled on for about eleven hours without accident or alarm and between six and seven o'clock in the evening found herself entering Fullerton {para} A heroine returning at the close of her career to her native village in all the triumph of recovered reputation and all the dignity of a countess with a long train of noble relations in their several phaetons and three waiting maids in a travelling chaise and four behind her is an event on which the pen of the contriver may well delight to dwell it gives credit to every conclusion and the author must share in the glory she so liberally bestows But my affair is widely different I bring back my heroine to her home in solitude and disgrace and no sweet elation of spirits can lead me into minuteness A heroine in a hack post chaise is such a blow upon sentiment as no attempt at grandeur or pathos can withstand Swiftly therefore shall her post boy drive through the village amid the gaze of Sunday groups and speedy shall be her descent from it {para} But whatever might be the distress of Catherine 's mind as she thus advanced towards the parsonage and whatever the humiliation of her biographer in relating it she was preparing enjoyment of no everyday nature for those to whom she went first in the appearance of her carriage and secondly in herself The chaise of a traveller being a rare sight in Fullerton the whole family were immediately at the window and to have it stop at the sweep gate was a pleasure to brighten every eye and occupy every fancy a pleasure quite unlooked for by all but the two youngest children a boy and girl of six and four years old who expected a brother or sister in every carriage Happy the glance that first distinguished Catherine Happy the voice that proclaimed the discovery But whether such happiness were the lawful property of George or Harriet could never be exactly understood {para} Her father mother Sarah George and Harriet all assembled at the door to welcome her with affectionate eagerness was a sight to awaken the best feelings of Catherine 's heart and in the embrace of each as she stepped from the carriage she found herself soothed beyond anything that she had believed possible So surrounded so caressed she was even happy In the joyfulness of family love everything for a short time was subdued and the pleasure of seeing her leaving them at first little leisure for calm curiosity they were all seated round the tea table which Mrs Morland had hurried for the comfort of the poor traveller whose pale and jaded looks soon caught her notice before any inquiry so direct as to demand a positive answer was addressed to her {para} Reluctantly and with much hesitation did she then begin what might perhaps at the end of half an hour be termed by the courtesy of her hearers an explanation but scarcely within that time could they at all discover the cause or collect the particulars of her sudden return They were far from being an irritable race far from any quickness in catching or bitterness in resenting affronts but here when the whole was unfolded was an insult not to be overlooked nor for the first half hour to be easily pardoned Without suffering any romantic alarm in the consideration of their daughter 's long and lonely journey Mr and Mrs Morland could not but feel that it might have been productive of much unpleasantness to her that it was what they could never have voluntarily suffered and that in forcing her on such a measure General Tilney had acted neither honourably nor feelingly neither as a gentleman nor as a parent Why he had done it what could have provoked him to such a breach of hospitality and so suddenly turned all his partial regard for their daughter into actual ill will was a matter which they were at least as far from divining as Catherine herself but it did not oppress them by any means so long and after a due course of useless conjecture that it was a strange business and that he must be a very strange man grew enough for all their indignation and wonder though Sarah indeed still indulged in the sweets of incomprehensibility exclaiming and conjecturing with youthful ardour My dear you give yourself a great deal of needless trouble said her mother at last depend upon it it is something not at all worth understanding {para} I can allow for his wishing Catherine away when he recollected this engagement said Sarah but why not do it civilly {para} I am sorry for the young people returned Mrs Morland they must have a sad time of it but as for anything else it is no matter now Catherine is safe at home and our comfort does not depend upon General Tilney Catherine sighed Well continued her philosophic mother I am glad I did not know of your journey at the time but now it is an over perhaps there is no great harm done It is always good for young people to be put upon exerting themselves and you know my dear Catherine you always were a sad little shatter brained creature but now you must have been forced to have your wits about you with so much changing of chaises and so forth and I hope it will appear that you have not left anything behind you in any of the pockets {para} Catherine hoped so too and tried to feel an interest in her own amendment but her spirits were quite worn down and to be silent and alone becoming soon her only wish she readily agreed to her mother 's next counsel of going early to bed Her parents seeing nothing in her ill looks and agitation but the natural consequence of mortified feelings and of the unusual exertion and fatigue of such a journey parted from her without any doubt of their being soon slept away and though when they all met the next morning her recovery was not equal to their hopes they were still perfectly unsuspicious of there being any deeper evil They never once thought of her heart which for the parents of a young lady of seventeen just returned from her first excursion from home was odd enough {para} As soon as breakfast was over she sat down to fulfil her promise to Miss Tilney whose trust in the effect of time and distance on her friend 's disposition was already justified for already did Catherine reproach herself with having parted from Eleanor coldly with having never enough valued her merits or kindness and never enough commiserated her for what she had been yesterday left to endure The strength of these feelings however was far from assisting her pen and never had it been harder for her to write than in addressing Eleanor Tilney To compose a letter which might at once do justice to her sentiments and her situation convey gratitude without servile regret be guarded without coldness and honest without resentment a letter which Eleanor might not be pained by the perusal of and above all which she might not blush herself if Henry should chance to see was an undertaking to frighten away all her powers of performance and after long thought and much perplexity to be very brief was all that she could determine on with any confidence of safety The money therefore which Eleanor had advanced was enclosed with little more than grateful thanks and the thousand good wishes of a most affectionate heart {para} This has been a strange acquaintance observed Mrs Morland as the letter was finished soon made and soon ended I am sorry it happens so for Mrs Allen thought them very pretty kind of young people and you were sadly out of luck too in your Isabella Ah Poor James Well we must live and learn and the next new friends you make I hope will be better worth keeping {para} Catherine coloured as she warmly answered No friend can be better worth keeping than Eleanor {para} If so my dear I dare say you will meet again some time or other do not be uneasy It is ten to one but you are thrown together again in the course of a few years and then what a pleasure it will be {para} Mrs Morland was not happy in her attempt at consolation The hope of meeting again in the course of a few years could only put into Catherine 's head what might happen within that time to make a meeting dreadful to her She could never forget Henry Tilney or think of him with less tenderness than she did at that moment but he might forget her and in that case to meet Her eyes filled with tears as she pictured her acquaintance so renewed and her mother perceiving her comfortable suggestions to have had no good effect proposed as another expedient for restoring her spirits that they should call on Mrs Allen {para} The two houses were only a quarter of a mile apart and as they walked Mrs Morland quickly dispatched all that she felt on the score of James 's disappointment We are sorry for him said she but otherwise there is no harm done in the match going off for it could not be a desirable thing to have him engaged to a girl whom we had not the smallest acquaintance with and who was so entirely without fortune and now after such behaviour we cannot think at all well of her Just at present it comes hard to poor James but that will not last forever and I dare say he will be a discreeter man all his life for the foolishness of his first choice {para} This was just such a summary view of the affair as Catherine could listen to another sentence might have endangered her complaisance and made her reply less rational for soon were all her thinking powers swallowed up in the reflection of her own change of feelings and spirits since last she had trodden that well known road It was not three months ago since wild with joyful expectation she had there run backwards and forwards some ten times a day with an heart light gay and independent looking forward to pleasures untasted and unalloyed and free from the apprehension of evil as from the knowledge of it Three months ago had seen her all this and now how altered a being did she return {para} She was received by the Allens with all the kindness which her unlooked for appearance acting on a steady affection would naturally call forth and great was their surprise and warm their displeasure on hearing how she had been treated though Mrs Morland 's account of it was no inflated representation no studied appeal to their passions Catherine took us quite by surprise yesterday evening said she She travelled all the way post by herself and knew nothing of coming till Saturday night for General Tilney from some odd fancy or other all of a sudden grew tired of having her there and almost turned her out of the house Very unfriendly certainly and he must be a very odd man but we are so glad to have her amongst us again And it is a great comfort to find that she is not a poor helpless creature but can shift very well for herself {para} Mr Allen expressed himself on the occasion with the reasonable resentment of a sensible friend and Mrs Allen thought his expressions quite good enough to be immediately made use of again by herself His wonder his conjectures and his explanations became in succession hers with the addition of this single remark I really have not patience with the general to fill up every accidental pause And I really have not patience with the general was uttered twice after Mr Allen left the room without any relaxation of anger or any material digression of thought A more considerable degree of wandering attended the third repetition and after completing the fourth she immediately added Only think my dear of my having got that frightful great rent in my best Mechlin so charmingly mended before I left Bath that one can hardly see where it was I must show it you some day or other Bath is a nice place Catherine after all I assure you I did not above half like coming away Mrs Thorpe 's being there was such a comfort to us was not it You know you and I were quite forlorn at first {para} Yes but that did not last long said Catherine her eyes brightening at the recollection of what had first given spirit to her existence there {para} Very true we soon met with Mrs Thorpe and then we wanted for nothing My dear do not you think these silk gloves wear very well I put them on new the first time of our going to the Lower Rooms you know and I have worn them a great deal since Do you remember that evening {para} Do I Oh Perfectly {para} It was very agreeable was not it Mr Tilney drank tea with us and I always thought him a great addition he is so very agreeable I have a notion you danced with him but am not quite sure I remember I had my favourite gown on {para} Catherine could not answer and after a short trial of other subjects Mrs Allen again returned to I really have not patience with the general Such an agreeable worthy man as he seemed to be I do not suppose Mrs Morland you ever saw a better bred man in your life His lodgings were taken the very day after he left them Catherine But no wonder Milsom Street you know {para} As they walked home again Mrs Morland endeavoured to impress on her daughter 's mind the happiness of having such steady well wishers as Mr and Mrs Allen and the very little consideration which the neglect or unkindness of slight acquaintance like the Tilneys ought to have with her while she could preserve the good opinion and affection of her earliest friends There was a great deal of good sense in all this but there are some situations of the human mind in which good sense has very little power and Catherine 's feelings contradicted almost every position her mother advanced It was upon the behaviour of these very slight acquaintance that all her present happiness depended and while Mrs Morland was successfully confirming her own opinions by the justness of her own representations Catherine was silently reflecting that now Henry must have arrived at Northanger now he must have heard of her departure and now perhaps they were all setting off for Hereford {para} CHAPTER 30 {para} Catherine 's disposition was not naturally sedentary nor had her habits been ever very industrious but whatever might hitherto have been her defects of that sort her mother could not but perceive them now to be greatly increased She could neither sit still nor employ herself for ten minutes together walking round the garden and orchard again and again as if nothing but motion was voluntary and it seemed as if she could even walk about the house rather than remain fixed for any time in the parlour Her loss of spirits was a yet greater alteration In her rambling and her idleness she might only be a caricature of herself but in her silence and sadness she was the very reverse of all that she had been before {para} For two days Mrs Morland allowed it to pass even without a hint but when a third night 's rest had neither restored her cheerfulness improved her in useful activity nor given her a greater inclination for needlework she could no longer refrain from the gentle reproof of My dear Catherine I am afraid you are growing quite a fine lady I do not know when poor Richard 's cravats would be done if he had no friend but you Your head runs too much upon Bath but there is a time for everything a time for balls and plays and a time for work You have had a long run of amusement and now you must try to be useful {para} Catherine took up her work directly saying in a dejected voice that her head did not run upon Bath much {para} Then you are fretting about General Tilney and that is very simple of you for ten to one whether you ever see him again You should never fret about trifles After a short silence I hope my Catherine you are not getting out of humour with home because it is not so grand as Northanger That would be turning your visit into an evil indeed Wherever you are you should always be contented but especially at home because there you must spend the most of your time I did not quite like at breakfast to hear you talk so much about the French bread at Northanger {para} I am sure I do not care about the bread it is all the same to me what I eat {para} There is a very clever essay in one of the books upstairs upon much such a subject about young girls that have been spoilt for home by great acquaintance The Mirror I think I will look it out for you some day or other because I am sure it will do you good {para} Catherine said no more and with an endeavour to do right applied to her work but after a few minutes sunk again without knowing it herself into languor and listlessness moving herself in her chair from the irritation of weariness much oftener than she moved her needle Mrs Morland watched the progress of this relapse and seeing in her daughter 's absent and dissatisfied look the full proof of that repining spirit to which she had now begun to attribute her want of cheerfulness hastily left the room to fetch the book in question anxious to lose no time in attacking so dreadful a malady It was some time before she could find what she looked for and other family matters occurring to detain her a quarter of an hour had elapsed ere she returned downstairs with the volume from which so much was hoped Her avocations above having shut out all noise but what she created herself she knew not that a visitor had arrived within the last few minutes till on entering the room the first object she beheld was a young man whom she had never seen before With a look of much respect he immediately rose and being introduced to her by her conscious daughter as Mr Henry Tilney with the embarrassment of real sensibility began to apologize for his appearance there acknowledging that after what had passed he had little right to expect a welcome at Fullerton and stating his impatience to be assured of Miss Morland 's having reached her home in safety as the cause of his intrusion He did not address himself to an uncandid judge or a resentful heart Far from comprehending him or his sister in their father 's misconduct Mrs Morland had been always kindly disposed towards each and instantly pleased by his appearance received him with the simple professions of unaffected benevolence thanking him for such an attention to her daughter assuring him that the friends of her children were always welcome there and entreating him to say not another word of the past {para} He was not ill inclined to obey this request for though his heart was greatly relieved by such unlooked for mildness it was not just at that moment in his power to say anything to the purpose Returning in silence to his seat therefore he remained for some minutes most civilly answering all Mrs Morland 's common remarks about the weather and roads Catherine meanwhile the anxious agitated happy feverish Catherine said not a word but her glowing cheek and brightened eye made her mother trust that this good natured visit would at least set her heart at ease for a time and gladly therefore did she lay aside the first volume of The Mirror for a future hour {para} Desirous of Mr Morland 's assistance as well in giving encouragement as in finding conversation for her guest whose embarrassment on his father 's account she earnestly pitied Mrs Morland had very early dispatched one of the children to summon him but Mr Morland was from home and being thus without any support at the end of a quarter of an hour she had nothing to say After a couple of minutes unbroken silence Henry turning to Catherine for the first time since her mother 's entrance asked her with sudden alacrity if Mr and Mrs Allen were now at Fullerton And on developing from amidst all her perplexity of words in reply the meaning which one short syllable would have given immediately expressed his intention of paying his respects to them and with a rising colour asked her if she would have the goodness to show him the way You may see the house from this window sir was information on Sarah 's side which produced only a bow of acknowledgment from the gentleman and a silencing nod from her mother for Mrs Morland thinking it probable as a secondary consideration in his wish of waiting on their worthy neighbours that he might have some explanation to give of his father 's behaviour which it must be more pleasant for him to communicate only to Catherine would not on any account prevent her accompanying him They began their walk and Mrs Morland was not entirely mistaken in his object in wishing it Some explanation on his father 's account he had to give but his first purpose was to explain himself and before they reached Mr Allen 's grounds he had done it so well that Catherine did not think it could ever be repeated too often She was assured of his affection and that heart in return was solicited which perhaps they pretty equally knew was already entirely his own for though Henry was now sincerely attached to her though he felt and delighted in all the excellencies of her character and truly loved her society I must confess that his affection originated in nothing better than gratitude or in other words that a persuasion of her partiality for him had been the only cause of giving her a serious thought It is a new circumstance in romance I acknowledge and dreadfully derogatory of an heroine 's dignity but if it be as new in common life the credit of a wild imagination will at least be all my own {para} A very short visit to Mrs Allen in which Henry talked at random without sense or connection and Catherine rapt in the contemplation of her own unutterable happiness scarcely opened her lips dismissed them to the ecstasies of another tete a tete and before it was suffered to close she was enabled to judge how far he was sanctioned by parental authority in his present application On his return from Woodston two days before he had been met near the abbey by his impatient father hastily informed in angry terms of Miss Morland 's departure and ordered to think of her no more {para} Such was the permission upon which he had now offered her his hand The affrighted Catherine amidst all the terrors of expectation as she listened to this account could not but rejoice in the kind caution with which Henry had saved her from the necessity of a conscientious rejection by engaging her faith before he mentioned the subject and as he proceeded to give the particulars and explain the motives of his father 's conduct her feelings soon hardened into even a triumphant delight The general had had nothing to accuse her of nothing to lay to her charge but her being the involuntary unconscious object of a deception which his pride could not pardon and which a better pride would have been ashamed to own She was guilty only of being less rich than he had supposed her to be Under a mistaken persuasion of her possessions and claims he had courted her acquaintance in Bath solicited her company at Northanger and designed her for his daughter in law On discovering his error to turn her from the house seemed the best though to his feelings an inadequate proof of his resentment towards herself and his contempt of her family {para} John Thorpe had first misled him The general perceiving his son one night at the theatre to be paying considerable attention to Miss Morland had accidentally inquired of Thorpe if he knew more of her than her name Thorpe most happy to be on speaking terms with a man of General Tilney 's importance had been joyfully and proudly communicative and being at that time not only in daily expectation of Morland 's engaging Isabella but likewise pretty well resolved upon marrying Catherine himself his vanity induced him to represent the family as yet more wealthy than his vanity and avarice had made him believe them With whomsoever he was or was likely to be connected his own consequence always required that theirs should be great and as his intimacy with any acquaintance grew so regularly grew their fortune The expectations of his friend Morland therefore from the first overrated had ever since his introduction to Isabella been gradually increasing and by merely adding twice as much for the grandeur of the moment by doubling what he chose to think the amount of Mr Morland 's preferment trebling his private fortune bestowing a rich aunt and sinking half the children he was able to represent the whole family to the general in a most respectable light For Catherine however the peculiar object of the general 's curiosity and his own speculations he had yet something more in reserve and the ten or fifteen thousand pounds which her father could give her would be a pretty addition to Mr Allen 's estate Her intimacy there had made him seriously determine on her being handsomely legacied hereafter and to speak of her therefore as the almost acknowledged future heiress of Fullerton naturally followed Upon such intelligence the general had proceeded for never had it occurred to him to doubt its authority Thorpe 's interest in the family by his sister 's approaching connection with one of its members and his own views on another circumstances of which he boasted with almost equal openness seemed sufficient vouchers for his truth and to these were added the absolute facts of the Allens being wealthy and childless of Miss Morland 's being under their care and as soon as his acquaintance allowed him to judge of their treating her with parental kindness His resolution was soon formed Already had he discerned a liking towards Miss Morland in the countenance of his son and thankful for Mr Thorpe 's communication he almost instantly determined to spare no pains in weakening his boasted interest and ruining his dearest hopes Catherine herself could not be more ignorant at the time of all this than his own children Henry and Eleanor perceiving nothing in her situation likely to engage their father 's particular respect had seen with astonishment the suddenness continuance and extent of his attention and though latterly from some hints which had accompanied an almost positive command to his son of doing everything in his power to attach her Henry was convinced of his father 's believing it to be an advantageous connection it was not till the late explanation at Northanger that they had the smallest idea of the false calculations which had hurried him on That they were false the general had learnt from the very person who had suggested them from Thorpe himself whom he had chanced to meet again in town and who under the influence of exactly opposite feelings irritated by Catherine 's refusal and yet more by the failure of a very recent endeavour to accomplish a reconciliation between Morland and Isabella convinced that they were separated forever and spurning a friendship which could be no longer serviceable hastened to contradict all that he had said before to the advantage of the Morlands confessed himself to have been totally mistaken in his opinion of their circumstances and character misled by the rhodomontade of his friend to believe his father a man of substance and credit whereas the transactions of the two or three last weeks proved him to be neither for after coming eagerly forward on the first overture of a marriage between the families with the most liberal proposals he had on being brought to the point by the shrewdness of the relator been constrained to acknowledge himself incapable of giving the young people even a decent support They were in fact a necessitous family numerous too almost beyond example by no means respected in their own neighbourhood as he had lately had particular opportunities of discovering aiming at a style of life which their fortune could not warrant seeking to better themselves by wealthy connections a forward bragging scheming race {para} The terrified general pronounced the name of Allen with an inquiring look and here too Thorpe had learnt his error The Allens he believed had lived near them too long and he knew the young man on whom the Fullerton estate must devolve The general needed no more Enraged with almost everybody in the world but himself he set out the next day for the abbey where his performances have been seen {para} I leave it to my reader 's sagacity to determine how much of all this it was possible for Henry to communicate at this time to Catherine how much of it he could have learnt from his father in what points his own conjectures might assist him and what portion must yet remain to be told in a letter from James I have united for their case what they must divide for mine Catherine at any rate heard enough to feel that in suspecting General Tilney of either murdering or shutting up his wife she had scarcely sinned against his character or magnified his cruelty {para} Henry in having such things to relate of his father was almost as pitiable as in their first avowal to himself He blushed for the narrow minded counsel which he was obliged to expose The conversation between them at Northanger had been of the most unfriendly kind Henry 's indignation on hearing how Catherine had been treated on comprehending his father 's views and being ordered to acquiesce in them had been open and bold The general accustomed on every ordinary occasion to give the law in his family prepared for no reluctance but of feeling no opposing desire that should dare to clothe itself in words could in brook the opposition of his son steady as the sanction of reason and the dictate of conscience could make it But in such a cause his anger though it must shock could not intimidate Henry who was sustained in his purpose by a conviction of its justice He felt himself bound as much in honour as in affection to Miss Morland and believing that heart to be his own which he had been directed to gain no unworthy retraction of a tacit consent no reversing decree of unjustifiable anger could shake his fidelity or influence the resolutions it prompted {para} He steadily refused to accompany his father into Herefordshire an engagement formed almost at the moment to promote the dismissal of Catherine and as steadily declared his intention of offering her his hand The general was furious in his anger and they parted in dreadful disagreement Henry in an agitation of mind which many solitary hours were required to compose had returned almost instantly to Woodston and on the afternoon of the following day had begun his journey to Fullerton {para} CHAPTER 31 {para} Mr and Mrs Morland 's surprise on being applied to by Mr Tilney for their consent to his marrying their daughter was for a few minutes considerable it having never entered their heads to suspect an attachment on either side but as nothing after all could be more natural than Catherine 's being beloved they soon learnt to consider it with only the happy agitation of gratified pride and as far as they alone were concerned had not a single objection to start His pleasing manners and good sense were self evident recommendations and having never heard evil of him it was not their way to suppose any evil could be told Goodwill supplying the place of experience his character needed no attestation Catherine would make a sad heedless young housekeeper to be sure was her mother 's foreboding remark but quick was the consolation of there being nothing like practice {para} There was but one obstacle in short to be mentioned but till that one was removed it must be impossible for them to sanction the engagement Their tempers were mild but their principles were steady and while his parent so expressly forbade the connection they could not allow themselves to encourage it That the general should come forward to solicit the alliance or that he should even very heartily approve it they were not refined enough to make any parading stipulation but the decent appearance of consent must be yielded and that once obtained and their own hearts made them trust that it could not be very long denied their willing approbation was instantly to follow His consent was all that they wished for They were no more inclined than entitled to demand his money Of a very considerable fortune his son was by marriage settlements eventually secure his present income was an income of independence and comfort and under every pecuniary view it was a match beyond the claims of their daughter {para} The young people could not be surprised at a decision like this They felt and they deplored but they could not resent it and they parted endeavouring to hope that such a change in the general as each believed almost impossible might speedily take place to unite them again in the fullness of privileged affection Henry returned to what was now his only home to watch over his young plantations and extend his improvements for her sake to whose share in them he looked anxiously forward and Catherine remained at Fullerton to cry Whether the torments of absence were softened by a clandestine correspondence let us not inquire Mr and Mrs Morland never did they had been too kind to exact any promise and whenever Catherine received a letter as at that time happened pretty often they always looked another way {para} The anxiety which in this state of their attachment must be the portion of Henry and Catherine and of all who loved either as to its final event can hardly extend I fear to the bosom of my readers who will see in the tell tale compression of the pages before them that we are all hastening together to perfect felicity The means by which their early marriage was effected can be the only doubt what probable circumstance could work upon a temper like the general 's The circumstance which chiefly availed was the marriage of his daughter with a man of fortune and consequence which took place in the course of the summer an accession of dignity that threw him into a fit of good humour from which he did not recover till after Eleanor had obtained his forgiveness of Henry and his permission for him to be a fool if he liked it {para} The marriage of Eleanor Tilney her removal from all the evils of such a home as Northanger had been made by Henry 's banishment to the home of her choice and the man of her choice is an event which I expect to give general satisfaction among all her acquaintance My own joy on the occasion is very sincere I know no one more entitled by unpretending merit or better prepared by habitual suffering to receive and enjoy felicity Her partiality for this gentleman was not of recent origin and he had been long withheld only by inferiority of situation from addressing her His unexpected accession to title and fortune had removed all his difficulties and never had the general loved his daughter so well in all her hours of companionship utility and patient endurance as when he first hailed her Your Ladyship Her husband was really deserving of her independent of his peerage his wealth and his attachment being to a precision the most charming young man in the world Any further definition of his merits must be unnecessary the most charming young man in the world is instantly before the imagination of us all Concerning the one in question therefore I have only to add aware that the rules of composition forbid the introduction of a character not connected with my fable that this was the very gentleman whose negligent servant left behind him that collection of washing bills resulting from a long visit at Northanger by which my heroine was involved in one of her most alarming adventures {para} The influence of the viscount and viscountess in their brother 's behalf was assisted by that right understanding of Mr Morland 's circumstances which as soon as the general would allow himself to be informed they were qualified to give It taught him that he had been scarcely more misled by Thorpe 's first boast of the family wealth than by his subsequent malicious overthrow of it that in no sense of the word were they necessitous or poor and that Catherine would have three thousand pounds This was so material an amendment of his late expectations that it greatly contributed to smooth the descent of his pride and by no means without its effect was the private intelligence which he was at some pains to procure that the Fullerton estate being entirely at the disposal of its present proprietor was consequently open to every greedy speculation {para} On the strength of this the general soon after Eleanor 's marriage permitted his son to return to Northanger and thence made him the bearer of his consent very courteously worded in a page full of empty professions to Mr Morland The event which it authorized soon followed Henry and Catherine were married the bells rang and everybody smiled and as this took place within a twelvemonth from the first day of their meeting it will not appear after all the dreadful delays occasioned by the general 's cruelty that they were essentially hurt by it To begin perfect happiness at the respective ages of twenty six and eighteen is to do pretty well and professing myself moreover convinced that the general 's unjust interference so far from being really injurious to their felicity was perhaps rather conducive to it by improving their knowledge of each other and adding strength to their attachment I leave it to be settled by whomsoever it may concern whether the tendency of this work be altogether to recommend parental tyranny or reward filial disobedience {para} Vide a letter from Mr Richardson No 97 Vol II Rambler {para} A NOTE ON THE TEXT {para} Northanger Abbey was written in 1797 98 under a different title The manuscript was revised around 1803 and sold to a London publisher Crosbie & Co who sold it back in 1816 The Signet Classic text is based on the first edition published by John Murray London in 1818 the year following Miss Austen 's death Spelling and punctuation have been largely brought into conformity with modern British usage {para} Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen {para} Chapter 1 {para} It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife {para} However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families that he is considered the rightful property of someone or other of their daughters {para} My dear Mr Bennet said his lady to him one day have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last {para} Mr Bennet replied that he had not {para} But it is returned she for Mrs Long has just been here and she told me all about it {para} Mr Bennet made no answer {para} Do you not want to know who has taken it cried his wife impatiently {para} YOU want to tell me and I have no objection to hearing it {para} This was invitation enough {para} Why my dear you must know Mrs Long says that Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of England that he came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place and was so much delighted with it that he agreed with Mr Morris immediately that he is to take possession before Michaelmas and some of his servants are to be in the house by the end of next week {para} What is his name {para} Bingley {para} Is he married or single {para} Oh Single my dear to be sure A single man of large fortune four or five thousand a year What a fine thing for our girls {para} How so How can it affect them {para} My dear Mr Bennet replied his wife how can you be so tiresome You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them {para} Is that his design in settling here {para} Design Nonsense how can you talk so But it is very likely that he MAY fall in love with one of them and therefore you must visit him as soon as he comes {para} I see no occasion for that You and the girls may go or you may send them by themselves which perhaps will be still better for as you are as handsome as any of them Mr Bingley may like you the best of the party {para} My dear you flatter me I certainly HAVE had my share of beauty but I do not pretend to be anything extraordinary now When a woman has five grown up daughters she ought to give over thinking of her own beauty {para} In such cases a woman has not often much beauty to think of {para} But my dear you must indeed go and see Mr Bingley when he comes into the neighbourhood {para} It is more than I engage for I assure you {para} But consider your daughters Only think what an establishment it would be for one of them Sir William and Lady Lucas are determined to go merely on that account for in general you know they visit no newcomers Indeed you must go for it will be impossible for US to visit him if you do not {para} You are over scrupulous surely I dare say Mr Bingley will be very glad to see you and I will send a few lines by you to assure him of my hearty consent to his marrying whichever he chooses of the girls though I must throw in a good word for my little Lizzy {para} I desire you will do no such thing Lizzy is not a bit better than the others and I am sure she is not half so handsome as Jane nor half so good humoured as Lydia But you are always giving HER the preference {para} They have none of them much to recommend them replied he they are all silly and ignorant like other girls but Lizzy has something more of quickness than her sisters {para} Mr Bennet how CAN you abuse your own children in such a way You take delight in vexing me You have no compassion for my poor nerves {para} You mistake me my dear I have a high respect for your nerves They are my old friends I have heard you mention them with consideration these last twenty years at least {para} Mr Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts sarcastic humour reserve and caprice that the experience of three and twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character HER mind was less difficult to develop She was a woman of mean understanding little information and uncertain temper When she was discontented she fancied herself nervous The business of her life was to get her daughters married its solace was visiting and news {para} Chapter 2 {para} Mr Bennet was among the earliest of those who waited on Mr Bingley He had always intended to visit him though to the last always assuring his wife that he should not go and till the evening after the visit was paid she had no knowledge of it It was then disclosed in the following manner Observing his second daughter employed in trimming a hat he suddenly addressed her with {para} I hope Mr Bingley will like it Lizzy {para} We are not in a way to know WHAT Mr Bingley likes said her mother resentfully since we are not to visit {para} But you forget mamma said Elizabeth that we shall meet him at the assemblies and that Mrs Long promised to introduce him {para} I do not believe Mrs Long will do any such thing She has two nieces of her own She is a selfish hypocritical woman and I have no opinion of her {para} No more have I said Mr Bennet and I am glad to find that you do not depend on her serving you {para} Mrs Bennet deigned not to make any reply but unable to contain herself began scolding one of her daughters {para} Don't keep coughing so Kitty for Heaven 's sake Have a little compassion on my nerves You tear them to pieces {para} Kitty has no discretion in her coughs said her father she times them ill {para} I do not cough for my own amusement replied Kitty fretfully When is your next ball to be Lizzy {para} To morrow fortnight {para} Aye so it is cried her mother and Mrs Long does not come back till the day before so it will be impossible for her to introduce him for she will not know him herself {para} Then my dear you may have the advantage of your friend and introduce Mr Bingley to HER {para} Impossible Mr Bennet impossible when I am not acquainted with him myself how can you be so teasing {para} I honour your circumspection A fortnight 's acquaintance is certainly very little One cannot know what a man really is by the end of a fortnight But if WE do not venture somebody else will and after all Mrs Long and her daughters must stand their chance and therefore as she will think it an act of kindness if you decline the office I will take it on myself {para} The girls stared at their father Mrs Bennet said only Nonsense nonsense {para} What can be the meaning of that emphatic exclamation cried he Do you consider the forms of introduction and the stress that is laid on them as nonsense I cannot quite agree with you THERE What say you Mary For you are a young lady of deep reflection I know and read great books and make extracts {para} Mary wished to say something sensible but knew not how {para} While Mary is adjusting her ideas he continued let us return to Mr Bingley {para} I am sick of Mr Bingley cried his wife {para} I am sorry to hear THAT but why did not you tell me that before If I had known as much this morning I certainly would not have called on him It is very unlucky but as I have actually paid the visit we cannot escape the acquaintance now {para} The astonishment of the ladies was just what he wished that of Mrs Bennet perhaps surpassing the rest though when the first tumult of joy was over she began to declare that it was what she had expected all the while {para} How good it was in you my dear Mr Bennet But I knew I should persuade you at last I was sure you loved your girls too well to neglect such an acquaintance Well how pleased I am and it is such a good joke too that you should have gone this morning and never said a word about it till now {para} Now Kitty you may cough as much as you choose said Mr Bennet and as he spoke he left the room fatigued with the raptures of his wife {para} What an excellent father you have girls said she when the door was shut I do not know how you will ever make him amends for his kindness or me either for that matter At our time of life it is not so pleasant I can tell you to be making new acquaintances every day but for your sakes we would do anything Lydia my love though you ARE the youngest I dare say Mr Bingley will dance with you at the next ball {para} Oh said Lydia stoutly I am not afraid for though I AM the youngest I 'm the tallest {para} The rest of the evening was spent in conjecturing how soon he would return Mr Bennet 's visit and determining when they should ask him to dinner {para} Chapter 3 {para} Not all that Mrs Bennet however with the assistance of her five daughters could ask on the subject was sufficient to draw from her husband any satisfactory description of Mr Bingley They attacked him in various way with barefaced questions ingenious suppositions and distant surmises but he eluded the skill of them all and they were at last obliged to accept the second hand intelligence of their neighbour Lady Lucas Her report was highly favourable Sir William had been delighted with him He was quite young wonderfully handsome extremely agreeable and to crown the whole he meant to be at the next assembly with a large party Nothing could be more delightful To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love and very lively hopes of Mr Bingley 's heart were entertained {para} If I can but see one of my daughters happily settled at Netherfield said Mrs Bennet to her husband and all the others equally well married I shall have nothing to wish for {para} In a few days Mr Bingley returned Mr Bennet 's visit and sat about ten minutes with him in his library He had entertained hopes of being admitted to a sight of the young ladies of whose beauty he had heard much but he saw only the father The ladies were somewhat more fortunate for they had the advantage of ascertaining from an upper window that he wore a blue coat and rode a black horse {para} An invitation to dinner was soon afterwards dispatched and already had Mrs Bennet planned the courses that were to do credit to her housekeeping when an answer arrived which deferred it all Mr Bingley was obliged to be in town the following day and consequently unable to accept the honour of their invitation etc Mrs Bennet was quite disconcerted She could not imagine what business he could have in town so soon after his arrival in Hertfordshire and she began to fear that he might be always flying about from one place to another and never settled at Netherfield as he ought to be Lady Lucas quieted her fears a little by starting the idea of his being gone to London only to get a large party for the ball and a report soon followed that Mr Bingley was to bring twelve ladies and seven gentlemen with him to the assembly The girls grieved over such a number of ladies but were comforted the day before the ball by hearing that instead of twelve he brought only six with him from London his five sisters and a cousin And when the party entered the assembly room it consisted of only five altogether Mr Bingley his two sisters the husband of the eldest and another young man {para} Mr Bingley was good looking and gentlemanlike he had a pleasant countenance and easy unaffected manners His sisters were fine women with an air of decided fashion His brother in law Mr Hurst merely looked the gentleman but his friend Mr Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine tall person handsome features noble mien and the report which was in general circulation within five minutes after his entrance of his having ten thousand a year The gentlemen pronounced him to be a fine figure of a man the ladies declared he was much handsomer than Mr Bingley and he was looked at with great admiration for about half the evening till his manners gave a disgust which turned the tide of his popularity for he was discovered to be proud to be above his company and above being pleased and not all his large estate in Derbyshire could then save him from having a most forbidding disagreeable countenance and being unworthy to be compared with his friend {para} Mr Bingley had soon made himself acquainted with all the principal people in the room he was lively and unreserved danced every dance was angry that the ball closed so early and talked of giving one himself at Netherfield Such amiable qualities must speak for themselves What a contrast between him and his friend Mr Darcy danced only once with Mrs Hurst and once with Miss Bingley declined being introduced to any other lady and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room speaking occasionally to one of his own party His character was decided He was the proudest most disagreeable man in the world and everybody hoped that he would never come there again Amongst the most violent against him was Mrs Bennet whose dislike of his general behaviour was sharpened into particular resentment by his having slighted one of her daughters {para} Elizabeth Bennet had been obliged by the scarcity of gentlemen to sit down for two dances and during part of that time Mr Darcy had been standing near enough for her to hear a conversation between him and Mr Bingley who came from the dance for a few minutes to press his friend to join it {para} Come Darcy said he I must have you dance I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner You had much better dance {para} I certainly shall not You know how I detest it unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner At such an assembly as this it would be insupportable Your sisters are engaged and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with {para} I would not be so fastidious as you are cried Mr Bingley for a kingdom Upon my honour I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening and there are several of them you see uncommonly pretty {para} YOU are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room said Mr Darcy looking at the eldest Miss Bennet {para} Oh She is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you who is very pretty and I dare say very agreeable Do let me ask my partner to introduce you {para} Which do you mean and turning round he looked for a moment at Elizabeth till catching her eye he withdrew his own and coldly said She is tolerable but not handsome enough to tempt ME I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles for you are wasting your time with me {para} Mr Bingley followed his advice Mr Darcy walked off and Elizabeth remained with no very cordial feelings toward him She told the story however with great spirit among her friends for she had a lively playful disposition which delighted in anything ridiculous {para} The evening altogether passed off pleasantly to the whole family Mrs Bennet had seen her eldest daughter much admired by the Netherfield party Mr Bingley had danced with her twice and she had been distinguished by his sisters Jane was as much gratified by this as her mother could be though in a quieter way Elizabeth felt Jane 's pleasure Mary had heard herself mentioned to Miss Bingley as the most accomplished girl in the neighbourhood and Catherine and Lydia had been fortunate enough never to be without partners which was all that they had yet learnt to care for at a ball They returned therefore in good spirits to Longbourn the village where they lived and of which they were the principal inhabitants They found Mr Bennet still up With a book he was regardless of time and on the present occasion he had a good deal of curiosity as to the events of an evening which had raised such splendid expectations He had rather hoped that his wife 's views on the stranger would be disappointed but he soon found out that he had a different story to hear {para} Oh my dear Mr Bennet as she entered the room we have had a most delightful evening a most excellent ball I wish you had been there Jane was so admired nothing could be like it Everybody said how well she looked and Mr Bingley thought her quite beautiful and danced with her twice Only think of THAT my dear he actually danced with her twice and she was the only creature in the room that he asked a second time First of all he asked Miss Lucas I was so vexed to see him stand up with her But however he did not admire her at all indeed nobody can you know and he seemed quite struck with Jane as she was going down the dance So he inquired who she was and got introduced and asked her for the two next Then the two third he danced with Miss King and the two fourth with Maria Lucas and the two fifth with Jane again and the two sixth with Lizzy and the BOULANGER {para} If he had had any compassion for ME cried her husband impatiently he would not have danced half so much For God 's sake say no more of his partners O that he had sprained his ankle in the first place {para} Oh my dear I am quite delighted with him He is so excessively handsome And his sisters are charming women I never in my life saw anything more elegant than their dresses I dare say the lace upon Mrs Hurst 's gown {para} Here she was interrupted again Mr Bennet protested against any description of finery She was therefore obliged to seek another branch of the subject and related with much bitterness of spirit and some exaggeration the shocking rudeness of Mr Darcy {para} But I can assure you she added that Lizzy does not lose much by not suiting HIS fancy for he is a most disagreeable horrid man not at all worth pleasing So high and so conceited that there was no enduring him He walked here and he walked there fancying himself so very great Not handsome enough to dance with I wish you had been there my dear to have given him one of your set downs I quite detest the man {para} Chapter 4 {para} When Jane and Elizabeth were alone the former who had been cautious in her praise of Mr Bingley before expressed to her sister just how very much she admired him {para} He is just what a young man ought to be said she sensible good humoured lively and I never saw such happy manners so much ease with such perfect good breeding {para} He is also handsome replied Elizabeth which a young man ought likewise to be if he possibly can His character is thereby complete {para} I was very much flattered by his asking me to dance a second time I did not expect such a compliment {para} Did not you I did for you But that is one great difference between us Compliments always take YOU by surprise and ME never What could be more natural than his asking you again He could not help seeing that you were about five times as pretty as every other woman in the room No thanks to his gallantry for that Well he certainly is very agreeable and I give you leave to like him You have liked many a stupider person {para} Dear Lizzy {para} Oh you are a great deal too apt you know to like people in general You never see a fault in anybody All the world are good and agreeable in your eyes I never heard you speak ill of a human being in your life {para} I would not wish to be hasty in censuring anyone but I always speak what I think {para} I know you do and it is THAT which makes the wonder With YOUR good sense to be so honestly blind to the follies and nonsense of others Affectation of candour is common enough one meets with it everywhere But to be candid without ostentation or design to take the good of everybody 's character and make it still better and say nothing of the bad belongs to you alone And so you like this man 's sisters too do you Their manners are not equal to his {para} Certainly not at first But they are very pleasing women when you converse with them Miss Bingley is to live with her brother and keep his house and I am much mistaken if we shall not find a very charming neighbour in her {para} Elizabeth listened in silence but was not convinced their behaviour at the assembly had not been calculated to please in general and with more quickness of observation and less pliancy of temper than her sister and with a judgement too unassailed by any attention to herself she was very little disposed to approve them They were in fact very fine ladies not deficient in good humour when they were pleased nor in the power of making themselves agreeable when they chose it but proud and conceited They were rather handsome had been educated in one of the first private seminaries in town had a fortune of twenty thousand pounds were in the habit of spending more than they ought and of associating with people of rank and were therefore in every respect entitled to think well of themselves and meanly of others They were of a respectable family in the north of England a circumstance more deeply impressed on their memories than that their brother 's fortune and their own had been acquired by trade {para} Mr Bingley inherited property to the amount of nearly a hundred thousand pounds from his father who had intended to purchase an estate but did not live to do it Mr Bingley intended it likewise and sometimes made choice of his county but as he was now provided with a good house and the liberty of a manor it was doubtful to many of those who best knew the easiness of his temper whether he might not spend the remainder of his days at Netherfield and leave the next generation to purchase {para} His sisters were anxious for his having an estate of his own but though he was now only established as a tenant Miss Bingley was by no means unwilling to preside at his table nor was Mrs Hurst who had married a man of more fashion than fortune less disposed to consider his house as her home when it suited her Mr Bingley had not been or age two years when he was tempted by an accidental recommendation to look at Netherfield House He did look at it and into it for half an hour was pleased with the situation and the principal rooms satisfied with what the owner said in its praise and took it immediately {para} Between him and Darcy there was a very steady friendship in spite of great opposition of character Bingley was endeared to Darcy by the easiness openness and ductility of his temper though no disposition could offer a greater contrast to his own and though with his own he never appeared dissatisfied On the strength of Darcy 's regard Bingley had the firmest reliance and of his judgement the highest opinion In understanding Darcy was the superior Bingley was by no means deficient but Darcy was clever He was at the same time haughty reserved and fastidious and his manners though well bred were not inviting In that respect his friend had greatly the advantage Bingley was sure of being liked wherever he appeared Darcy was continually giving offense {para} The manner in which they spoke of the Meryton assembly was sufficiently characteristic Bingley had never met with more pleasant people or prettier girls in his life everybody had been most kind and attentive to him there had been no formality no stiffness he had soon felt acquainted with all the room and as to Miss Bennet he could not conceive an angel more beautiful Darcy on the contrary had seen a collection of people in whom there was little beauty and no fashion for none of whom he had felt the smallest interest and from none received either attention or pleasure Miss Bennet he acknowledged to be pretty but she smiled too much {para} Mrs Hurst and her sister allowed it to be so but still they admired her and liked her and pronounced her to be a sweet girl and one whom they would not object to know more of Miss Bennet was therefore established as a sweet girl and their brother felt authorized by such commendation to think of her as he chose {para} Chapter 5 {para} Within a short walk of Longbourn lived a family with whom the Bennets were particularly intimate Sir William Lucas had been formerly in trade in Meryton where he had made a tolerable fortune and risen to the honour of knighthood by an address to the king during his mayoralty The distinction had perhaps been felt too strongly It had given him a disgust to his business and to his residence in a small market town and in quitting them both he had removed with his family to a house about a mile from Meryton denominated from that period Lucas Lodge where he could think with pleasure of his own importance and unshackled by business occupy himself solely in being civil to all the world For though elated by his rank it did not render him supercilious on the contrary he was all attention to everybody By nature inoffensive friendly and obliging his presentation at St James 's had made him courteous {para} Lady Lucas was a very good kind of woman not too clever to be a valuable neighbour to Mrs Bennet They had several children The eldest of them a sensible intelligent young woman about twenty seven was Elizabeth 's intimate friend {para} That the Miss Lucases and the Miss Bennets should meet to talk over a ball was absolutely necessary and the morning after the assembly brought the former to Longbourn to hear and to communicate YOU began the evening well Charlotte said Mrs Bennet with civil self command to Miss Lucas YOU were Mr Bingley 's first choice {para} Yes but he seemed to like his second better {para} Oh you mean Jane I suppose because he danced with her twice To be sure that DID seem as if he admired her indeed I rather believe he DID I heard something about it but I hardly know what something about Mr Robinson {para} Perhaps you mean what I overheard between him and Mr Robinson did not I mention it to you Mr Robinson 's asking him how he liked our Meryton assemblies and whether he did not think there were a great many pretty women in the room and WHICH he thought the prettiest and his answering immediately to the last question Oh the eldest Miss Bennet beyond a doubt there cannot be two opinions on that point {para} Upon my word Well that is very decided indeed that does seem as if but however it may all come to nothing you know {para} MY overhearings were more to the purpose than YOURS Eliza said Charlotte Mr Darcy is not so well worth listening to as his friend is he poor Eliza to be only just TOLERABLE {para} I beg you would not put it into Lizzy 's head to be vexed by his ill treatment for he is such a disagreeable man that it would be quite a misfortune to be liked by him Mrs Long told me last night that he sat close to her for half an hour without once opening his lips {para} Are you quite sure ma'am is not there a little mistake said Jane I certainly saw Mr Darcy speaking to her {para} Aye because she asked him at last how he liked Netherfield and he could not help answering her but she said he seemed quite angry at being spoke to {para} Miss Bingley told me said Jane that he never speaks much unless among his intimate acquaintances With THEM he is remarkably agreeable {para} I do not believe a word of it my dear If he had been so very agreeable he would have talked to Mrs Long But I can guess how it was everybody says that he is eat up with pride and I dare say he had heard somehow that Mrs Long does not keep a carriage and had come to the ball in a hack chaise {para} I do not mind his not talking to Mrs Long said Miss Lucas but I wish he had danced with Eliza {para} Another time Lizzy said her mother I would not dance with HIM if I were you {para} I believe ma'am I may safely promise you NEVER to dance with him {para} His pride said Miss Lucas does not offend ME so much as pride often does because there is an excuse for it One cannot wonder that so very fine a young man with family fortune everything in his favour should think highly of himself If I may so express it he has a RIGHT to be proud {para} That is very true replied Elizabeth and I could easily forgive HIS pride if he had not mortified MINE {para} Pride observed Mary who piqued herself upon the solidity of her reflections is a very common failing I believe By all that I have ever read I am convinced that it is very common indeed that human nature is particularly prone to it and that there are very few of us who do not cherish a feeling of self complacency on the score of some quality or other real or imaginary Vanity a pride are different things though the words are often used synonymously A person may be proud without being vain Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves vanity to what we would have others think of us {para} If I were as rich as Mr Darcy cried a young Lucas who came with his sisters I should not care how proud I was I would keep a pack of foxhounds and drink a bottle of wine a day {para} Then you would drink a great deal more than you ought said Mrs Bennet and if I were to see you at it I should take away your bottle directly {para} The boy protested that she should not she continued to declare that she would and the argument ended only with the visit {para} Chapter 6 {para} The ladies of Longbourn soon waited on those of Netherfield The visit was soon returned in due form Miss Bennet 's pleasing manners grew on the goodwill of Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley and though the mother was found to be intolerable and the younger sisters not worth speaking to a wish of being better acquainted with THEM was expressed towards the two eldest By Jane this attention was received with the greatest pleasure but Elizabeth still saw superciliousness in their treatment of everybody hardly excepting even her sister and could not like them though their kindness to Jane such as it was had a value as arising in all probability from the influence of their brother 's admiration It was generally evident whenever they met that he DID admire her and to HER it was equally evident that Jane was yielding to the preference which she had begun to entertain for him from the first and was in a way to be very much in love but she considered with pleasure that it was not likely to be discovered by the world in general since Jane united with great strength of feeling a composure of temper and a uniform cheerfulness of manner which would guard her from the suspicions of the impertinent She mentioned this to her friend Miss Lucas {para} It may perhaps be pleasant replied Charlotte to be able to impose on the public in such a case but it is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded If a woman conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it she may lose the opportunity of fixing him and it will then be but poor consolation to believe the world equally in the dark There is so much of gratitude or vanity in almost every attachment that it is not safe to leave any to itself We can all BEGIN freely a slight preference is natural enough but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement In nine cases out of ten a women had better show MORE affection than she feels Bingley likes your sister undoubtedly but he may never do more than like her if she does not help him on {para} But she does help him on as much as her nature will allow If I can perceive her regard for him he must be a simpleton indeed not to discover it too {para} Remember Eliza that he does not know Jane 's disposition as you do {para} But if a woman is partial to a man and does not endeavour to conceal it he must find it out {para} Perhaps he must if he sees enough of her But though Bingley and Jane meet tolerably often it is never for many hours together and as they always see each other in large mixed parties it is impossible that every moment should be employed in conversing together Jane should therefore make the most of every half hour in which she can command his attention When she is secure of him there will be more leisure for falling in love as much as she chooses {para} Your plan is a good one replied Elizabeth where nothing is in question but the desire of being well married and if I were determined to get a rich husband or any husband I dare say I should adopt it But these are not Jane 's feelings she is not acting by design As yet she cannot even be certain of the degree of her own regard nor of its reasonableness She has known him only a fortnight She danced four dances with him at Meryton she saw him one morning at his own house and has since dined with him in company four times This is not quite enough to make her understand his character {para} Not as you represent it Had she merely DINED with him she might only have discovered whether he had a good appetite but you must remember that four evenings have also been spent together and four evenings may do a great deal {para} Yes these four evenings have enabled them to ascertain that they both like Vingt un better than Commerce but with respect to any other leading characteristic I do not imagine that much has been unfolded {para} Well said Charlotte I wish Jane success with all my heart and if she were married to him to morrow I should think she had as good a chance of happiness as if she were to be studying his character for a twelvemonth Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other or ever so similar beforehand it does not advance their felicity in the least They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life {para} You make me laugh Charlotte but it is not sound You know it is not sound and that you would never act in this way yourself {para} Occupied in observing Mr Bingley 's attentions to her sister Elizabeth was far from suspecting that she was herself becoming an object of some interest in the eyes of his friend Mr Darcy had at first scarcely allowed her to be pretty he had looked at her without admiration at the ball and when they next met he looked at her only to criticise But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she hardly had a good feature in her face than he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes To this discovery succeeded some others equally mortifying Though he had detected with a critical eye more than one failure of perfect symmetry in her form he was forced to acknowledge her figure to be light and pleasing and in spite of his asserting that her manners were not those of the fashionable world he was caught by their easy playfulness Of this she was perfectly unaware to her he was only the man who made himself agreeable nowhere and who had not thought her handsome enough to dance with {para} He began to wish to know more of her and as a step towards conversing with her himself attended to her conversation with others His doing so drew her notice It was at Sir William Lucas 's where a large party were assembled {para} What does Mr Darcy mean said she to Charlotte by listening to my conversation with Colonel Forster {para} That is a question which Mr Darcy only can answer {para} But if he does it any more I shall certainly let him know that I see what he is about He has a very satirical eye and if I do not begin by being impertinent myself I shall soon grow afraid of him {para} On his approaching them soon afterwards though without seeming to have any intention of speaking Miss Lucas defied her friend to mention such a subject to him which immediately provoking Elizabeth to do it she turned to him and said {para} Did you not think Mr Darcy that I expressed myself uncommonly well just now when I was teasing Colonel Forster to give us a ball at Meryton {para} With great energy but it is always a subject which makes a lady energetic {para} You are severe on us {para} It will be HER turn soon to be teased said Miss Lucas I am going to open the instrument Eliza and you know what follows {para} You are a very strange creature by way of a friend always wanting me to play and sing before anybody and everybody If my vanity had taken a musical turn you would have been invaluable but as it is I would really rather not sit down before those who must be in the habit of hearing the very best performers On Miss Lucas 's persevering however she added Very well if it must be so it must And gravely glancing at Mr Darcy There is a fine old saying which everybody here is of course familiar with Keep your breath to cool your porridge and I shall keep mine to swell my song {para} Her performance was pleasing though by no means capital After a song or two and before she could reply to the entreaties of several that she would sing again she was eagerly succeeded at the instrument by her sister Mary who having in consequence of being the only plain one in the family worked hard for knowledge and accomplishments was always impatient for display {para} Mary had neither genius nor taste and though vanity had given her application it had given her likewise a pedantic air and conceited manner which would have injured a higher degree of excellence than she had reached Elizabeth easy and unaffected had been listened to with much more pleasure though not playing half so well and Mary at the end of a long concerto was glad to purchase praise and gratitude by Scotch and Irish airs at the request of her younger sisters who with some of the Lucases and two or three officers joined eagerly in dancing at one end of the room {para} Mr Darcy stood near them in silent indignation at such a mode of passing the evening to the exclusion of all conversation and was too much engrossed by his thoughts to perceive that Sir William Lucas was his neighbour till Sir William thus began {para} What a charming amusement for young people this is Mr Darcy There is nothing like dancing after all I consider it as one of the first refinements of polished society {para} Certainly sir and it has the advantage also of being in vogue amongst the less polished societies of the world Every savage can dance {para} Sir William only smiled Your friend performs delightfully he continued after a pause on seeing Bingley join the group and I doubt not that you are an adept in the science yourself Mr Darcy {para} You saw me dance at Meryton I believe sir {para} Yes indeed and received no inconsiderable pleasure from the sight Do you often dance at St James 's {para} Never sir {para} Do you not think it would be a proper compliment to the place {para} It is a compliment which I never play to any place if I can avoid it {para} You have a house in town I conclude {para} Mr Darcy bowed {para} I had once had some thought of fixing in town myself for I am fond of superior society but I did not feel quite certain that the air of London would agree with Lady Lucas {para} He paused in hopes of an answer but his companion was not disposed to make any and Elizabeth at that instant moving towards them he was struck with the action of doing a very gallant thing and called out to her {para} My dear Miss Eliza why are you not dancing Mr Darcy you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner You cannot refuse to dance I am sure when so much beauty is before you And taking her hand he would have given it to Mr Darcy who though extremely surprised was not unwilling to receive it when she instantly drew back and said with some discomposure to Sir William {para} Indeed sir I have not the least intention of dancing I entreat you not to suppose that I moved this way in order to beg for a partner {para} Mr Darcy with grave propriety requested to be allowed the honour of her hand but in vain Elizabeth was determined nor did Sir William at all shake her purpose by his attempt at persuasion {para} You excel so much in the dance Miss Eliza that it is cruel to deny me the happiness of seeing you and though this gentleman dislikes the amusement in general he can have no objection I am sure to oblige us for one half hour {para} Mr Darcy is all politeness said Elizabeth smiling {para} He is indeed but considering the inducement my dear Miss Eliza we cannot wonder at his complaisance for who would object to such a partner {para} Elizabeth looked archly and turned away Her resistance had not injured her with the gentleman and he was thinking of her with some complacency when thus accosted by Miss Bingley {para} I can guess the subject of your reverie {para} I should imagine not {para} You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in this manner in such society and indeed I am quite of you opinion I was never more annoyed The insipidity and yet the noise the nothingness and yet the self importance of all those people What would I give to hear your strictures on them {para} You conjecture is totally wrong I assure you My mind was more agreeably engaged I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow {para} Miss Bingley immediately fixed her eyes on his face a desired he would tell her what lady had the credit of inspiring such reflections Mr Darcy replied with great intrepidity {para} Miss Elizabeth Bennet {para} Miss Elizabeth Bennet repeated Miss Bingley I am all astonishment How long has she been such a favourite and pray when am I to wish you joy {para} That is exactly the question which I expected you to ask A lady 's imagination is very rapid it jumps from admiration to love from love to matrimony in a moment I knew you would be wishing me joy {para} Nay if you are serious about it I shall consider the matter is absolutely settled You will be having a charming mother in law indeed and of course she will always be at Pemberley with you {para} He listened to her with perfect indifference while she chose to entertain herself in this manner and as his composure convinced her that all was safe her wit flowed long {para} Chapter 7 {para} Mr Bennet 's property consisted almost entirely in an estate of two thousand a year which unfortunately for his daughters was entailed in default of heirs male on a distant relation and their mother 's fortune though ample for her situation in life could but ill supply the deficiency of his Her father had been an attorney in Meryton and had left her four thousand pounds {para} She had a sister married to a Mr Phillips who had been a clerk to their father and succeeded him in the business and a brother settled in London in a respectable line of trade {para} The village of Longbourn was only one mile from Meryton a most convenient distance for the young ladies who were usually tempted thither three or four times a week to pay their duty to their aunt and to a milliner 's shop just over the way The two youngest of the family Catherine and Lydia were particularly frequent in these attentions their minds were more vacant than their sisters and when nothing better offered a walk to Meryton was necessary to amuse their morning hours and furnish conversation for the evening and however bare of news the country in general might be they always contrived to learn some from their aunt At present indeed they were well supplied both with news and happiness by the recent arrival of a militia regiment in the neighbourhood it was to remain the whole winter and Meryton was the headquarters {para} Their visits to Mrs Phillips were now productive of the most interesting intelligence Every day added something to their knowledge of the officers names and connections Their lodgings were not long a secret and at length they began to know the officers themselves Mr Phillips visited them all and this opened to his nieces a store of felicity unknown before They could talk of nothing but officers and Mr Bingley 's large fortune the mention of which gave animation to their mother was worthless in their eyes when opposed to the regimentals of an ensign {para} After listening one morning to their effusions on this subject Mr Bennet coolly observed {para} From all that I can collect by your manner of talking you must be two of the silliest girls in the country I have suspected it some time but I am now convinced {para} Catherine was disconcerted and made no answer but Lydia with perfect indifference continued to express her admiration of Captain Carter and her hope of seeing him in the course of the day as he was going the next morning to London {para} I am astonished my dear said Mrs Bennet that you should be so ready to think your own children silly If I wished to think slightingly of anybody 's children it should not be of my own however {para} If my children are silly I must hope to be always sensible of it {para} Yes but as it happens they are all of them very clever {para} This is the only point I flatter myself on which we do not agree I had hoped that our sentiments coincided in every particular but I must so far differ from you as to think our two youngest daughters uncommonly foolish {para} My dear Mr Bennet you must not expect such girls to have the sense of their father and mother When they get to our age I dare say they will not think about officers any more than we do I remember the time when I liked a red coat myself very well and indeed so I do still at my heart and if a smart young colonel with five or six thousand a year should want one of my girls I shall not say nay to him and I thought Colonel Forster looked very becoming the other night at Sir William 's in his regimentals {para} Mamma cried Lydia my aunt says that Colonel Forster and Captain Carter do not go so often to Miss Watson 's as they did when they first came she sees them now very often standing in Clarke 's library {para} Mrs Bennet was prevented replying by the entrance of the footman with a note for Miss Bennet it came from Netherfield and the servant waited for an answer Mrs Bennet 's eyes sparkled with pleasure and she was eagerly calling out while her daughter read {para} Well Jane who is it from What is it about What does he say Well Jane make haste and tell us make haste my love {para} It is from Miss Bingley said Jane and then read it aloud {para} MY DEAR FRIEND If you are not so compassionate as to dine to day with Louisa and me we shall be in danger of hating each other for the rest of our lives for a whole day 's tete a tete between two women can never end without a quarrel Come as soon as you can on receipt of this My brother and the gentlemen are to dine with the officers Yours ever CAROLINE BINGLEY {para} With the officers cried Lydia I wonder my aunt did not tell us of THAT {para} Dining out said Mrs Bennet that is very unlucky {para} Can I have the carriage said Jane {para} No my dear you had better go on horseback because it seems likely to rain and then you must stay all night {para} That would be a good scheme said Elizabeth if you were sure that they would not offer to send her home {para} Oh but the gentlemen will have Mr Bingley 's chaise to go to Meryton and the Hursts have no horses to theirs {para} I had much rather go in the coach {para} But my dear your father cannot spare the horses I am sure They are wanted in the farm Mr Bennet are they not {para} They are wanted in the farm much oftener than I can get them {para} But if you have got them to day said Elizabeth my mother 's purpose will be answered {para} She did at last extort from her father an acknowledgment that the horses were engaged Jane was therefore obliged to go on horseback and her mother attended her to the door with many cheerful prognostics of a bad day Her hopes were answered Jane had not been gone long before it rained hard Her sisters were uneasy for her but her mother was delighted The rain continued the whole evening without intermission Jane certainly could not some back {para} This was a lucky idea of mine indeed said Mrs Bennet more than once as if the credit of making it rain were all her own Till the next morning however she was not aware of all the felicity of her contrivance Breakfast was scarcely over when a servant from Netherfield brought the following note for Elizabeth {para} MY DEAREST LIZZY I find myself very unwell this morning which I suppose is to be imputed to my getting wet through yesterday My kind friends will not hear of my returning till I am better They insist also on my seeing Mr Jones therefore do not be alarmed if you should hear of his having been to me and excepting a sore throat and headache there is not much the matter with me Yours etc {para} Well my dear said Mr Bennet when Elizabeth had read the note aloud if your daughter should have a dangerous fit of illness if she should die it would be a comfort to know that it was all in pursuit of Mr Bingley and under your orders {para} Oh I am not afraid of her dying People do not die of little trifling colds She will be taken good care of As long as she stays there it is all very well I would go an see her if I could have the carriage {para} Elizabeth feeling really anxious was determined to go to her though the carriage was not to be had and as she was no horsewoman walking was her only alternative She declared her resolution {para} How can you be so silly cried her mother as to think of such a thing in all this dirt You will not be fit to be seen when you get there {para} I shall be very fit to see Jane which is all I want {para} Is this a hint to me Lizzy said her father to send for the horses {para} No indeed I do not wish to avoid the walk The distance is nothing when one has a motive only three miles I shall be back by dinner {para} I admire the activity of your benevolence observed Mary but every impulse of feeling should be guided by reason and in my opinion exertion should always be in proportion to what is required {para} We will go as far as Meryton with you said Catherine and Lydia Elizabeth accepted their company and the three young ladies set off together {para} If we make haste said Lydia as they walked along perhaps we may see something of Captain Carter before he goes {para} In Meryton they parted the two youngest repaired to the lodgings of one of the officers wives and Elizabeth continued her walk alone crossing field after field at a quick pace jumping over stiles and springing over puddles with impatient activity and finding herself at last within view of the house with weary ankles dirty stockings and a face glowing with the warmth of exercise {para} She was shown into the breakfast parlour where all but Jane were assembled and where her appearance created a great deal of surprise That she should have walked three miles so early in the day in such dirty weather and by herself was almost incredible to Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley and Elizabeth was convinced that they held her in contempt for it She was received however very politely by them and in their brother 's manners there was something better than politeness there was good humour and kindness Mr Darcy said very little and Mr Hurst nothing at all The former was divided between admiration of the brilliancy which exercise had given to her complexion and doubt as to the occasion 's justifying her coming so far alone The latter was thinking only of his breakfast {para} Her inquiries after her sister were not very favourably answered Miss Bennet had slept ill and though up was very feverish and not well enough to leave her room Elizabeth was glad to be taken to her immediately and Jane who had only been withheld by the fear of giving alarm or inconvenience from expressing in her note how much she longed for such a visit was delighted at her entrance She was not equal however to much conversation and when Miss Bingley left them together could attempt little besides expressions of gratitude for the extraordinary kindness she was treated with Elizabeth silently attended her {para} When breakfast was over they were joined by the sisters and Elizabeth began to like them herself when she saw how much affection and solicitude they showed for Jane The apothecary came and having examined his patient said as might be supposed that she had caught a violent cold and that they must endeavour to get the better of it advised her to return to bed and promised her some draughts The advice was followed readily for the feverish symptoms increased and her head ached acutely Elizabeth did not quit her room for a moment nor were the other ladies often absent the gentlemen being out they had in fact nothing to do elsewhere {para} When the clock struck three Elizabeth felt that she must go and very unwillingly said so Miss Bingley offered her the carriage and she only wanted a little pressing to accept it when Jane testified such concern in parting with her that Miss Bingley was obliged to convert the offer of the chaise to an invitation to remain at Netherfield for the present Elizabeth most thankfully consented and a servant was dispatched to Longbourn to acquaint the family with her stay and bring back a supply of clothes {para} Chapter 8 {para} At five o'clock the two ladies retired to dress and at half past six Elizabeth was summoned to dinner To the civil inquiries which then poured in and amongst which she had the pleasure of distinguishing the much superior solicitude of Mr Bingley 's she could not make a very favourable answer Jane was by no means better The sisters on hearing this repeated three or four times how much they were grieved how shocking it was to have a bad cold and how excessively they disliked being ill themselves and then thought no more of the matter and their indifference towards Jane when not immediately before them restored Elizabeth to the enjoyment of all her former dislike {para} Their brother indeed was the only one of the party whom she could regard with any complacency His anxiety for Jane was evident and his attentions to herself most pleasing and they prevented her feeling herself so much an intruder as she believed she was considered by the others She had very little notice from any but him Miss Bingley was engrossed by Mr Darcy her sister scarcely less so and as for Mr Hurst by whom Elizabeth sat he was an indolent man who lived only to eat drink and play at cards who when he found her to prefer a plain dish to a ragout had nothing to say to her {para} When dinner was over she returned directly to Jane and Miss Bingley began abusing her as soon as she was out of the room Her manners were pronounced to be very bad indeed a mixture of pride and impertinence she had no conversation no style no beauty Mrs Hurst thought the same and added {para} She has nothing in short to recommend her but being an excellent walker I shall never forget her appearance this morning She really looked almost wild {para} She did indeed Louisa I could hardly keep my countenance Very nonsensical to come at all Why must SHE be scampering about the country because her sister had a cold Her hair so untidy so blowsy {para} Yes and her petticoat I hope you saw her petticoat six inches deep in mud I am absolutely certain and the gown which had been let down to hide it not doing its office {para} Your picture may be very exact Louisa said Bingley but this was all lost upon me I thought Miss Elizabeth Bennet looked remarkably well when she came into the room this morning Her dirty petticoat quite escaped my notice {para} YOU observed it Mr Darcy I am sure said Miss Bingley and I am inclined to think that you would not wish to see YOUR sister make such an exhibition {para} Certainly not {para} To walk three miles or four miles or five miles or whatever it is above her ankles in dirt and alone quite alone What could she mean by it It seems to me to show an abominable sort of conceited independence a most country town indifference to decorum {para} It shows an affection for her sister that is very pleasing said Bingley {para} I am afraid Mr Darcy observed Miss Bingley in a half whisper that this adventure has rather affected your admiration of her fine eyes {para} Not at all he replied they were brightened by the exercise A short pause followed this speech and Mrs Hurst began again {para} I have a excessive regard for Miss Jane Bennet she is really a very sweet girl and I wish with all my heart she were well settled But with such a father and mother and such low connections I am afraid there is no chance of it {para} I think I have heard you say that their uncle is an attorney on Meryton {para} Yes and they have another who lives somewhere near Cheapside {para} That is capital added her sister and they both laughed heartily {para} If they had uncles enough to fill ALL Cheapside cried Bingley it would not make them one jot less agreeable {para} But it must very materially lessen their chance of marrying men of any consideration in the world replied Darcy {para} To this speech Bingley made no answer but his sisters gave it their hearty assent and indulged their mirth for some time at the expense of their dear friend 's vulgar relations {para} With a renewal of tenderness however they returned to her room on leaving the dining parlour and sat with her till summoned to coffee She was still very poorly and Elizabeth would not quit her at all till late in the evening when she had the comfort of seeing her sleep and when it seemed to her rather right than pleasant that she should go downstairs herself On entering the drawing room she found the whole party at loo and was immediately invited to join them but suspecting them to be playing high she declined it for the short time she could stay below with a book Mr Hurst looked at her with astonishment {para} Do you prefer reading to cards said he that is rather singular {para} Miss Eliza Bennet said Miss Bingley despises cards She is a great reader and has no pleasure in anything else {para} I deserve neither such praise nor such censure cried Elizabeth I am NOT a great reader and I have pleasure in many things {para} In nursing your sister I am sure you have pleasuresaid Bingley and I hope it will be soon increased by seeing her quite well {para} Elizabeth thanked him from her heart and then walked towards the table where a few books were lying He immediately offered to fetch her others all that his library afforded {para} And I wish my collection were larger for your benefit and my own credit but I am an idle fellow and though I have not many I have more than I ever looked into {para} Elizabeth assured him that she could suit herself perfectly with those in the room {para} I am astonished said Miss Bingley that my father should have left so small a collection of books What a delightful library you have at Pemberley Mr Darcy {para} It ought to be good he replied it has been the work of many generations {para} And then you have added so much to it yourself you are always buying books {para} I cannot comprehend the neglect of a family library in such days as these {para} Neglect I am sure you neglect nothing that can add to the beauties of that noble place Charles when you build YOUR house I wish it may be half as delightful as Pemberley {para} I wish it may {para} But I would really advise you to make your purchase in that neighbourhood and take Pemberley for a kind of model There is not a finer county in England than Derbyshire {para} With all my heart I will buy Pemberley itself if Darcy will sell it {para} I am talking of possibilities Charles {para} Upon my word Caroline I should think it more possible to get Pemberley by purchase than by imitation {para} Elizabeth was so much caught with what passed as to leave her very little attention for her book and soon laying it wholly aside she drew near the card table and stationed herself between Mr Bingley and his eldest sister to observe the game {para} Is Miss Darcy much grown since the spring said Miss Bingley will she be as tall as I am {para} I think she will She is now about Miss Elizabeth Bennet 's height or rather taller {para} How I long to see her again I never met with anybody who delighted me so much Such a countenance such manners And so extremely accomplished for her age Her performance on the pianoforte is exquisite {para} It is amazing to me said Bingley how young ladies can have patience to be so very accomplished as they all are {para} All young ladies accomplished My dear Charles what do you mean {para} Yes all of them I think They all paint tables cover screens and net purses I scarcely know anyone who cannot do all this and I am sure I never heard a young lady spoken of for the first time without being informed that she was very accomplished {para} Your list of the common extent of accomplishments said Darcy has too much truth The word is applied to many a woman who deserves it no otherwise than by netting a purse or covering a screen But I am very far from agreeing with you in your estimation of ladies in general I cannot boast of knowing more than half a dozen in the whole range of my acquaintance that are really accomplished {para} Nor I I am sure said Miss Bingley {para} Then observed Elizabeth you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished woman {para} Yes I do comprehend a great deal in it {para} Oh certainly cried his faithful assistant no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music singing drawing dancing and the modern languages to deserve the word and besides all this she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking the tone of her voice her address and expressions or the word will be but half deserved {para} All this she must possess added Darcy and to all this she must yet add something more substantial in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading {para} I am no longer surprised at your knowing ONLY six accomplished women I rather wonder now at your knowing ANY {para} Are you so severe upon your own sex as to doubt the possibility of all this {para} I never saw such a woman I never saw such capacity and taste and application and elegance as you describe united {para} Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley both cried out against the injustice of her implied doubt and were both protesting that they knew many women who answered this description when Mr Hurst called them to order with bitter complaints of their inattention to what was going forward As all conversation was thereby at an end Elizabeth soon afterwards left the room {para} Elizabeth Bennet said Miss Bingley when the door was closed on her is one of those young ladies who seek to recommend themselves to the other sex by undervaluing their own and with many men I dare say it succeeds But in my opinion it is a paltry device a very mean art {para} Undoubtedly replied Darcy to whom this remark was chiefly addressed there is a meanness in ALL the arts which ladies sometimes condescend to employ for captivation Whatever bears affinity to cunning is despicable {para} Miss Bingley was not so entirely satisfied with this reply as to continue the subject {para} Elizabeth joined them again only to say that her sister was worse and that she could not leave her Bingley urged Mr Jones being sent for immediately while his sisters convinced that no country advice could be of any service recommended an express to town for one of the most eminent physicians This she would not hear of but she was not so unwilling to comply with their brother 's proposal and it was settled that Mr Jones should be sent for early in the morning if Miss Bennet were not decidedly better Bingley was quite uncomfortable his sisters declared that they were miserable They solaced their wretchedness however by duets after supper while he could find no better relief to his feelings than by giving his housekeeper directions that every attention might be paid to the sick lady and her sister {para} Chapter 9 {para} Elizabeth passed the chief of the night in her sister 's room and in the morning had the pleasure of being able to send a tolerable answer to the inquiries which she very early received from Mr Bingley by a housemaid and some time afterwards from the two elegant ladies who waited on his sisters In spite of this amendment however she requested to have a note sent to Longbourn desiring her mother to visit Jane and form her own judgement of her situation The note was immediately dispatched and its contents as quickly complied with Mrs Bennet accompanied by her two youngest girls reached Netherfield soon after the family breakfast {para} Had she found Jane in any apparent danger Mrs Bennet would have been very miserable but being satisfied on seeing her that her illness was not alarming she had no wish of her recovering immediately as her restoration to health would probably remove her from Netherfield She would not listen therefore to her daughter 's proposal of being carried home neither did the apothecary who arrived about the same time think it at all advisable After sitting a little while with Jane on Miss Bingley 's appearance and invitation the mother and three daughter all attended her into the breakfast parlour Bingley met them with hopes that Mrs Bennet had not found Miss Bennet worse than she expected {para} Indeed I have sir was her answer She is a great deal too ill to be moved Mr Jones says we must not think of moving her We must trespass a little longer on your kindness {para} Removed cried Bingley It must not be thought of My sister I am sure will not hear of her removal {para} You may depend upon it madam said Miss Bingley with cold civility that Miss Bennet will receive every possible attention while she remains with us {para} Mrs Bennet was profuse in hr acknowledgements {para} I am sure she added if it was not for such good friends I do not know what would become of her for she is very ill indeed and suffers a vast deal though with the greatest patience in the world which is always the way with her for she has without exception the sweetest temper I have ever met with I often tell my other girls they are nothing to HER You have a sweet room here Mr Bingley and a charming prospect over the gravel walk I do not know a place in the country that is equal to Netherfield You will not think of quitting it in a hurry I hope though you have but a short lease {para} Whatever I do is done in a hurry replied he and therefore if I should resolve to quit Netherfield I should probably be off in five minutes At present however I consider myself as quite fixed here {para} That is exactly what I should have supposed of you said Elizabeth {para} You begin to comprehend me do you cried he turning towards her {para} Oh yes I understand you perfectly {para} I wish I might take this for a compliment but to be so easily seen through I am afraid is pitiful {para} That is as it happens It does not follow that a deep intricate character is more or less estimable than such a one as yours {para} Lizzy cried her mother remember where you are and do not run on in the wild manner that you are suffered to do at home {para} I did not know before continued Bingley immediately that your were a studier of character It must be an amusing study {para} Yes but intricate characters are the MOST amusing They have at least that advantage {para} The country said Darcy can in general supply but a few subjects for such a study In a country neighbourhood you move in a very confined and unvarying society {para} But people themselves alter so much that there is something new to be observed in them for ever {para} Yes indeed cried Mrs Bennet offended by his manner of mentioning a country neighbourhood I assure you there is quite as much of THAT going on in the country as in town {para} Everybody was surprised and Darcy after looking at her for a moment turned silently away Mrs Bennet who fancied she had gained a complete victory over him continued her triumph {para} I cannot see that London has any great advantage over the country for my part except the shops and public places The country is a vast deal pleasanter is it not Mr Bingley {para} When I am in the country he replied I never wish to leave it and when I am in town it is pretty much the same They have each their advantages and I can be equally happy in either {para} Aye that is because you have the right disposition But that gentleman looking at Darcy seemed to think the country was nothing at all {para} Indeed mamma you are mistaken said Elizabeth blushing for her mother You quite mistook Mr Darcy He only meant that there was not such a variety of people to be met with in the country as in the town which you must acknowledge to be true {para} Certainly my dear nobody said there were but as to not meeting with many people in this neighbourhood I believe there are few neighbourhoods larger I know we dine with four and twenty families {para} Nothing but concern for Elizabeth could enable Bingley to keep his countenance His sister was less delicate and directed her eyes towards Mr Darcy with a very expressive smile Elizabeth for the sake of saying something that might turn her mother 's thoughts now asked her if Charlotte Lucas had been at Longbourn since HER coming away {para} Yes she called yesterday with her father What an agreeable man Sir William is Mr Bingley is not he So much the man of fashion So genteel and easy He had always something to say to everybody THAT is my idea of good breeding and those persons who fancy themselves very important and never open their mouths quite mistake the matter {para} Did Charlotte dine with you {para} No she would go home I fancy she was wanted about mince pies For my part Mr Bingley I always keep servants that can do their own work MY daughters are brought up very differently But everybody is to judge for themselves and the Lucases are a very good sort of girls I assure you It is a pity they are not handsome Not that I think Charlotte so VERY plain but then she is our particular friend {para} She seems a very pleasant young woman {para} Oh dear yes but you must own she is very plain Lady Lucas herself has often said so and envied me Jane 's beauty I do not like to boast of my own child but to be sure Jane one does not often see anybody better looking It is what everybody says I do not trust my own partiality When she was only fifteen there was a man at my brother Gardiner 's in town so much in love with her that my sister in law was sure he would make her an offer before we came away But however he did not Perhaps he thought her too young However he wrote some verses on her and very pretty they were {para} And so ended his affection said Elizabeth impatiently There has been many a one I fancy overcome in the same way I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love {para} I have been used to consider poetry as the FOOD of love said Darcy {para} Of a fine stout healthy love it may Everything nourishes what is strong already But if it be only a slight thin sort of inclination I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away {para} Darcy only smiled and the general pause which ensued made Elizabeth tremble lest her mother should be exposing herself again She longed to speak but could think of nothing to say and after a short silence Mrs Bennet began repeating her thanks to Mr Bingley for his kindness to Jane with an apology for troubling him also with Lizzy Mr Bingley was unaffectedly civil in his answer and forced his younger sister to be civil also and say what the occasion required She performed her part indeed without much graciousness but Mrs Bennet was satisfied and soon afterwards ordered her carriage Upon this signal the youngest of her daughters put herself forward The two girls had been whispering to each other during the whole visit and the result of it was that the youngest should tax Mr Bingley with having promised on his first coming into the country to give a ball at Netherfield {para} Lydia was a stout well grown girl of fifteen with a fine complexion and good humoured countenance a favourite with her mother whose affection had brought her into public at an early age She had high animal spirits and a sort of natural self consequence which the attention of the officers to whom her uncle 's good dinners and her own easy manners recommended her had increased into assurance She was very equal therefore to address Mr Bingley on the subject of the ball and abruptly reminded him that it would be the most shameful thing in the world if he did not keep it His answer to this sudden attack was delightful to her mother 's ear {para} I am perfectly ready I assure you to keep my engagement and when your sister is recovered you shall if you please name the very day of the ball But you would not wish to be dancing when she is ill {para} Lydia declared herself satisfied Oh yes it would be much better to wait till Jane was well and by that time most likely Captain Carter would be at Meryton again And when you have given YOUR ball she added I shall insist on their giving one also I shall tell Colonel Forster it will be quite a shame if he does not {para} Mrs Bennet and her daughter then departed and Elizabeth returned instantly to Jane leaving her own and her relations behaviour to the remarks of the two ladies and Mr Darcy the latter of whom however could not be prevailed on to join in their censure of HER in spite of all Miss Bingley 's witticisms on FINE EYES {para} Chapter 10 {para} The day passed much as the day before had done Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley had spent some hours of the morning with the invalid who continued though slowly to mend and in the evening Elizabeth joined their party in the drawing room The loo table however did not appear Mr Darcy was writing and Miss Bingley seated near him was watching the progress of his letter and repeatedly calling his attention by messages to his sister Mr Hurst and Mr Bingley were at piquet and Mrs Hurst was observing their game {para} Elizabeth took up some needlework and was sufficiently amused in attending to what passed between Darcy and his companion The perpetual commendations of the lady either on his handwriting or on the evenness of his lines or on the length of his letter with the perfect unconcern with which her praises were received formed a curious dialogue and was exactly in union with her opinion of each {para} How delighted Miss Darcy will be to receive such a letter {para} He made no answer {para} You write uncommonly fast {para} You are mistaken I write rather slowly {para} How many letters you must have occasion to write in the course of a year Letters of business too How odious I should think them {para} It is fortunate then that they fall to my lot instead of yours {para} Pray tell your sister that I long to see her {para} I have already told her so once by your desire {para} I am afraid you do not like your pen Let me mend it for you I mend pens remarkably well {para} Thank you but I always mend my own {para} How can you contrive to write so even {para} He was silent {para} Tell your sister I am delighted to hear of her improvement on the harp and pray let her know that I am quite in raptures with her beautiful little design for a table and I think it infinitely superior to Miss Grantley 's {para} Will you give me leave to defer your raptures till I write again At present I have not room to do them justice {para} Oh It is of no consequence I shall see her in January But do you always write such charming long letters to her Mr Darcy {para} They are generally long but whether always charming it is not for me to determine {para} It is a rule with me that a person who can write a long letter with ease cannot write ill {para} That will not do for a compliment to Darcy Caroline cried her brother because he does not write with ease He studies too much for words of four syllables Do not you Darcy {para} My style of writing is very different from yours {para} Oh cried Miss Bingley Charles writes in the most careless way imaginable He leaves out half his words and blots the rest {para} My ideas flow so rapidly that I have not time to express them by which means my letters sometimes convey no ideas at all to my correspondents {para} Your humility Mr Bingley said Elizabeth must disarm reproof {para} Nothing is more deceitful said Darcy than the appearance of humility It is often only carelessness of opinion and sometimes an indirect boast {para} And which of the two do you call MY little recent piece of modesty {para} The indirect boast for you are really proud of your defects in writing because you consider them as proceeding from a rapidity of thought and carelessness of execution which if not estimable you think at least highly interesting The power of doing anything with quickness is always prized much by the possessor and often without any attention to the imperfection of the performance When you told Mrs Bennet this morning that if you ever resolved upon quitting Netherfield you should be gone in five minutes you meant it to be a sort of panegyric of compliment to yourself and yet what is there so very laudable in a precipitance which must leave very necessary business undone and can be of no real advantage to yourself or anyone else {para} Nay cried Bingley this is too much to remember at night all the foolish things that were said in the morning And yet upon my honour I believe what I said of myself to be true and I believe it at this moment At least therefore I did not assume the character of needless precipitance merely to show off before the ladies {para} I dare say you believed it but I am by no means convinced that you would be gone with such celerity Your conduct would be quite as dependent on chance as that of any man I know and if as you were mounting your horse a friend were to say Bingley you had better stay till next week you would probably do it you would probably not go and at another word might stay a month {para} You have only proved by this cried Elizabeth that Mr Bingley did not do justice to his own disposition You have shown him off now much more than he did himself {para} I am exceedingly gratified said Bingley by your converting what my friend says into a compliment on the sweetness of my temper But I am afraid you are giving it a turn which that gentleman did by no means intend for he would certainly think better of me if under such a circumstance I were to give a flat denial and ride off as fast as I could {para} Would Mr Darcy then consider the rashness of your original intentions as atoned for by your obstinacy in adhering to it {para} Upon my word I cannot exactly explain the matter Darcy must speak for himself {para} You expect me to account for opinions which you choose to call mine but which I have never acknowledged Allowing the case however to stand according to your representation you must remember Miss Bennet that the friend who is supposed to desire his return to the house and the delay of his plan has merely desired it asked it without offering one argument in favour of its propriety {para} To yield readily easily to the PERSUASION of a friend is no merit with you {para} To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either {para} You appear to me Mr Darcy to allow nothing for the influence of friendship and affection A regard for the requester would often make one readily yield to a request without waiting for arguments to reason one into it I am not particularly speaking of such a case as you have supposed about Mr Bingley We may as well wait perhaps till the circumstance occurs before we discuss the discretion of his behaviour thereupon But in general and ordinary cases between friend and friend where one of them is desired by the other to change a resolution of no very great moment should you think ill of that person for complying with the desire without waiting to be argued into it {para} Will it not be advisable before we proceed on this subject to arrange with rather more precision the degree of importance which is to appertain to this request as well as the degree of intimacy subsisting between the parties {para} By all means cried Bingley let us hear all the particulars not forgetting their comparative height and size for that will have more weight in the argument Miss Bennet than you may be aware of I assure you that if Darcy were not such a great tall fellow in comparison with myself that I should not pay him half so much deference I declare I do not know a more awful object than Darcy on particular occasions and in particular places at his own house especially and of a Sunday evening when he has nothing to do {para} Mr Darcy smiled but Elizabeth thought she could perceive that he was rather offended and therefore checked her laugh Miss Bingley warmly resented the indignity he had received in an expostulation with her brother for talking such nonsense {para} I see your design Bingley said his friend You dislike an argument and want to silence this {para} Perhaps I do Arguments are too much like disputes If you and Miss Bennet will defer yours till I am out of the room I shall be very thankful and then you may say whatever you like of me {para} What you ask said Elizabeth is no sacrifice on my side and Mr Darcy had much better finish his letter {para} Mr Darcy took her advice and did finish his letter {para} When that business was over he applied to Miss Bingley and Elizabeth for an indulgence of some music Miss Bingley moved with some alacrity to the pianoforte and after a polite request that Elizabeth would lead the way which the other as politely and more earnestly negatived she seated herself {para} Mrs Hurst sang with her sister and while they were thus employed Elizabeth could not help observing as she turned over some music books that lay on the instrument how frequently Mr Darcy 's eyes were fixed on her She hardly knew how to suppose that she could be an object of admiration to so great a man and yet that he should look at her because he disliked her was still more strange She could only imagine however at last that she drew his notice because there was something more wrong and reprehensible according to his ideas of right than in any other person present The supposition did not pain her She liked him too little to care for his approbation {para} After playing some Italian songs Miss Bingley varied the charm by a lively Scotch air and soon afterwards Mr Darcy drawing near Elizabeth said to her {para} Do not you feel a great inclination Miss Bennet to seize such an opportunity of dancing a reel {para} She smiled but made no answer He repeated the question with some surprise at her silence {para} Oh said she I heard you before but I could not immediately determine what to say in reply You wanted me I know to say Yes that you might have the pleasure of despising my taste but I always delight in overthrowing those kind of schemes and cheating a person of their meditated contempt I have therefore made up my mind to tell you that I do not want to dance a reel at all and now despise me if you dare {para} Indeed I do not dare {para} Elizabeth having rather expected to affront him was amazed at his gallantry but there was a mixture of sweetness and archness in her manner which made it difficult for her to affront anybody and Darcy had never been so bewitched by any woman as he was by her He really believed that were it not for the inferiority of her connections he should be in some danger {para} Miss Bingley saw or suspected enough to be jealous and her great anxiety for the recovery of her dear friend Jane received some assistance from her desire of getting rid of Elizabeth {para} She often tried to provoke Darcy into disliking her guest by talking of their supposed marriage and planning his happiness in such an alliance {para} I hope said she as they were walking together in the shrubbery the next day you will give your mother in law a few hints when this desirable event takes place as to the advantage of holding her tongue and if you can compass it do sure the younger girls of running after officers And if I may mention so delicate a subject endeavour to check that little something bordering on conceit and impertinence which your lady possesses {para} Have you anything else to propose for my domestic felicity {para} Oh yes Do let the portraits of your uncle and aunt Phillips get placed in the gallery at Pemberley Put them next to your great uncle the judge They are in the same profession you know only in different lines As for your Elizabeth 's picture you must not have it taken for what painter could do justice to those beautiful eyes {para} It would not be easy indeed to catch their expression but their colour and shape and the eyelashes so remarkably fine might be copied {para} At that moment they were met from another walk by Mrs Hurst and Elizabeth herself {para} I did not know that you intended to walk said Miss Bingley in some confusion lest they had been overheard {para} You used us abominably ill answered Mrs Hurst running away without telling us that you were coming out {para} Then taking the disengaged arm of Mr Darcy she left Elizabeth to walk by herself The path just admitted three Mr Darcy felt their rudeness and immediately said {para} This walk is not wide enough for our party We had better go into the avenue {para} But Elizabeth who had not the least inclination to remain with them laughingly answered {para} No no stay where you are You are charmingly grouped and appear to uncommon advantage The picturesque would be spoilt by admitting a fourth Good bye {para} She then ran gaily off rejoicing as she rambled about in the hope of being at home again in a day or two Jane was already so much recovered as to intend leaving her room for a couple of hours that evening {para} Chapter 10 {para} When the ladies removed after dinner Elizabeth ran up to her sister and seeing her well guarded from cold attended her into the drawing room where she was welcomed by her two friends with many professions of pleasure and Elizabeth had never seen them so agreeable as they were during the hour which passed before the gentlemen appeared Their powers of conversation were considerable They could describe an entertainment with accuracy relate an anecdote with humour and laugh at their acquaintance with spirit {para} But when the gentlemen entered Jane was no longer the first object Miss Bingley 's eyes were instantly turned toward Darcy and she had something to say to him before he had advanced many steps He addressed himself to Miss Bennet with a polite congratulation Mr Hurst also made her a slight bow and said he was very glad but diffuseness and warmth remained for Bingley 's salutation He was full of joy and attention The first half hour was spent in piling up the fire lest she should suffer from the change of room and she removed at his desire to the other side of the fireplace that she might be further from the door He then sat down by her and talked scarcely to anyone else Elizabeth at work in the opposite corner saw it all with great delight {para} When tea was over Mr Hurst reminded his sister in law of the card table but in vain She had obtained private intelligence that Mr Darcy did not wish for cards and Mr Hurst soon found even his open petition rejected She assured him that no one intended to play and the silence of the whole party on the subject seemed to justify her Mr Hurst had therefore nothing to do but to stretch himself on one of the sofas and go to sleep Darcy took up a book Miss Bingley did the same and Mrs Hurst principally occupied in playing with her bracelets and rings joined now and then in her brother 's conversation with Miss Bennet {para} Miss Bingley 's attention was quite as much engaged in watching Mr Darcy 's progress through HIS book as in reading her own and she was perpetually either making some inquiry or looking at his page She could not win him however to any conversation he merely answered her question and read on At length quite exhausted by the attempt to be amused with her own book which she had only chosen because it was the second volume of his she gave a great yawn and said How pleasant it is to spend an evening in this way I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading How much sooner one tires of anything than of a book When I have a house of my own I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library {para} No one made any reply She then yawned again threw aside her book and cast her eyes round the room in quest for some amusement when hearing her brother mentioning a ball to Miss Bennet she turned suddenly towards him and said {para} By the bye Charles are you really serious in meditating a dance at Netherfield I would advise you before you determine on it to consult the wishes of the present party I am much mistaken if there are not some among us to whom a ball would be rather a punishment than a pleasure {para} If you mean Darcy cried her brother he may go to bed if he chooses before it begins but as for the ball it is quite a settled thing and as soon as Nicholls has made white soup enough I shall send round my cards {para} I should like balls infinitely better she replied if they were carried on in a different manner but there is something insufferably tedious in the usual process of such a meeting It would surely be much more rational if conversation instead of dancing were made the order of the day {para} Much more rational my dear Caroline I dare say but it would not be near so much like a ball {para} Miss Bingley made no answer and soon afterwards she got up and walked about the room Her figure was elegant and she walked well but Darcy at whom it was all aimed was still inflexibly studious In the desperation of her feelings she resolved on one effort more and turning to Elizabeth said {para} Miss Eliza Bennet let me persuade you to follow my example and take a turn about the room I assure you it is very refreshing after sitting so long in one attitude {para} Elizabeth was surprised but agreed to it immediately Miss Bingley succeeded no less in the real object of her civility Mr Darcy looked up He was as much awake to the novelty of attention in that quarter as Elizabeth herself could be and unconsciously closed his book He was directly invited to join their party but he declined it observing that he could imagine but two motives for their choosing to walk up and down the room together with either of which motives his joining them would interfere What could he mean She was dying to know what could be his meaning and asked Elizabeth whether she could at all understand him {para} Not at all was her answer but depend upon it he means to be severe on us and our surest way of disappointing him will be to ask nothing about it {para} Miss Bingley however was incapable of disappointing Mr Darcy in anything and persevered therefore in requiring an explanation of his two motives {para} I have not the smallest objection to explaining them said he as soon as she allowed him to speak You either choose this method of passing the evening because you are in each other 's confidence and have secret affairs to discuss or because you are conscious that your figures appear to the greatest advantage in walking if the first I would be completely in your way and if the second I can admire you much better as I sit by the fire {para} Oh shocking cried Miss Bingley I never heard anything so abominable How shall we punish him for such a speech {para} Nothing so easy if you have but the inclination said Elizabeth We can all plague and punish one another Tease him laugh at him Intimate as you are you must know how it is to be done {para} But upon my honour I do NOT I do assure you that my intimacy has not yet taught me THAT Tease calmness of manner and presence of mind No no feel he may defy us there And as to laughter we will not expose ourselves if you please by attempting to laugh without a subject Mr Darcy may hug himself {para} Mr Darcy is not to be laughed at cried Elizabeth That is an uncommon advantage and uncommon I hope it will continue for it would be a great loss to ME to have many such acquaintances I dearly love a laugh {para} Miss Bingley said he has given me more credit than can be The wisest and the best of men nay the wisest and best of their actions may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke {para} Certainly replied Elizabeth there are such people but I hope I am not one of THEM I hope I never ridicule what is wise and good Follies and nonsense whims and inconsistencies DO divert me I own and I laugh at them whenever I can But these I suppose are precisely what you are without {para} Perhaps that is not possible for anyone But it has been the study of my life to avoid those weaknesses which often expose a strong understanding to ridicule {para} Such as vanity and pride {para} Yes vanity is a weakness indeed But pride where there is a real superiority of mind pride will be always under good regulation {para} Elizabeth turned away to hide a smile {para} Your examination of Mr Darcy is over I presume said Miss Bingley and pray what is the result {para} I am perfectly convinced by it that Mr Darcy has no defect He owns it himself without disguise {para} No said Darcy I have made no such pretension I have faults enough but they are not I hope of understanding My temper I dare not vouch for It is I believe too little yielding certainly too little for the convenience of the world I cannot forget the follies and vices of other so soon as I ought nor their offenses against myself My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them My temper would perhaps be called resentful My good opinion once lost is lost forever {para} THAT is a failing indeed cried Elizabeth Implacable resentment IS a shade in a character But you have chosen your fault well I really cannot LAUGH at it You are safe from me {para} There is I believe in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil a natural defect which not even the best education can overcome {para} And YOUR defect is to hate everybody {para} And yours he replied with a smile is willfully to misunderstand them {para} Do let us have a little music cried Miss Bingley tired of a conversation in which she had no share Louisa you will not mind my waking Mr Hurst {para} Her sister had not the smallest objection and the pianoforte was opened and Darcy after a few moments recollection was not sorry for it He began to feel the danger of paying Elizabeth too much attention {para} Chapter 12 {para} In consequence of an agreement between the sisters Elizabeth wrote the next morning to their mother to beg that the carriage might be sent for them in the course of the day But Mrs Bennet who had calculated on her daughters remaining at Netherfield till the following Tuesday which would exactly finish Jane 's week could not bring herself to receive them with pleasure before Her answer therefore was not propitious at least not to Elizabeth 's wishes for she was impatient to get home Mrs Bennet sent them word that they could not possibly have the carriage before Tuesday and in her postscript it was added that if Mr Bingley and his sister pressed them to stay longer she could spare them very well Against staying longer however Elizabeth was positively resolved nor did she much expect it would be asked and fearful on the contrary as being considered as intruding themselves needlessly long she urged Jane to borrow Mr Bingley 's carriage immediately and at length it was settled that their original design of leaving Netherfield that morning should be mentioned and the request made {para} The communication excited many professions of concern and enough was said of wishing them to stay at least till the following day to work on Jane and till the morrow their going was deferred Miss Bingley was then sorry that she had proposed the delay for her jealousy and dislike of one sister much exceeded her affection for the other {para} The master of the house heard with real sorrow that they were to go so soon and repeatedly tried to persuade Miss Bennet that it would not be safe for her that she was not enough recovered but Jane was firm where she felt herself to be right {para} To Mr Darcy it was welcome intelligence Elizabeth had been at Netherfield long enough She attracted him more than he liked and Miss Bingley was uncivil to HER and more teasing than usual to himself He wisely resolved to be particularly careful that no sign of admiration should NOW escape him nothing that could elevate her with the hope of influencing his felicity sensible that if such an idea had been suggested his behaviour during the last day must have material weight in confirming or crushing it Steady to his purpose he scarcely spoke ten words to her through the whole of Saturday and though they were at one time left by themselves for half an hour he adhered most conscientiously to his book and would not even look at her {para} On Sunday after morning service the separation so agreeable to almost all took place Miss Bingley 's civility to Elizabeth increased at last very rapidly as well as her affection for Jane and when they parted after assuring the latter of the pleasure it would always give her to see her either at Longbourn or Netherfield and embracing her most tenderly she even shook hands with the former Elizabeth took leave of the whole party in the liveliest of spirits {para} They were not welcomed home very cordially by their mother Mrs Bennet wondered at their coming and thought them very wrong to give so much trouble and was sure Jane would have caught cold again But their father though very laconic in his expressions of pleasure was really glad to see them he had felt their importance in the family circle The evening conversation when they were all assembled had lost much of its animation and almost all its sense by the absence of Jane and Elizabeth {para} They found Mary as usual deep in the study of thorough bass and human nature and had some extracts to admire and some new observations of threadbare morality to listen to Catherine and Lydia had information for them of a different sort Much had been done and much had been said in the regiment since the preceding Wednesday several of the officers had dined lately with their uncle a private had been flogged and it had actually been hinted that colonel Foster was going to be married {para} Chapter 13 {para} I hope my dear said Mr Bennet to his wife as they were at breakfast the next morning that you have ordered a good dinner to day because I have reason to expect an addition to our family party {para} Who do you mean my dear I know of nobody that is coming I am sure unless Charlotte Lucas should happen to call in And I hope MY dinners are good enough for her I do not believe she often sees such at home {para} The person of whom I speak is a gentleman and a stranger {para} Mrs Bennet 's eyes sparkled A gentleman and a stranger It is Mr Bingley I am sure Well I am sure I shall be extremely glad to see Mr Bingley But good Lord how unlucky There is not a bit of fish to be got to day Lydia my love ring the bell I must speak to Hill this moment {para} It is NOT Mr Bingley said her husband it is a person whom I never saw in the whole course of my life {para} This roused a general astonishment and he had the pleasure of being eagerly questioned by his wife and his five daughters at once {para} After amusing himself some time with their curiosity he thus explained {para} About a month ago I received this letter and about a fortnight ago I answered it for I thought it a case of some delicacy and requiring early attention It is from my cousin Mr Collins who when I am dead may turn you all out of this house as soon as he pleases {para} Oh my dear cried his wife I cannot bear to hear that mentioned Pray do not talk of that odious man I do think it is the hardest thing in the world that your estate should be entailed away from your own children and I am sure if I had been you I should have tried long ago to do something or other about it {para} Jane and Elizabeth tried to explain to her the nature of an entail They had often attempted to do it before but it was a subject on which Mrs Bennet was beyond the reach of reason and she continued to rail bitterly against the cruelty of settling and estate away from a family of five daughters in favour of a man whom nobody cared anything about {para} It certainly is a most iniquitous affair said Mr Bennet and nothing can clear Mr collins from the guilt of inheriting Longbourn But if you will listen to his letter you may perhaps be a little softened by his manner of expressing himself {para} No that I am sure I shall not and I think it is very impertinent of him to write to you at all and very hypocritical I hate such false friends Why could he not keep on quarreling with you as his father did before him {para} Why indeed he does seem to have had some filial scruples on that head as you will hear {para} Hunsford near Westerham Kent 15th October Dear Sir The disagreement subsisting between yourself and my late honoured father always gave me much uneasiness and since I have had the misfortune to lose him I have frequently wished to heal the breach but for some time I was kept back by my own doubts fearing lest it might seem disrespectful to his memory for me to be on good terms with anyone with whom it had always pleased him to be at variance There Mrs Bennet My mind however is now made up on the subject for having received ordination at Easter I have been so fortunate as to be distinguished by the patronage of the Right Honourable Lady Catherine de Bourgh widow of Sir Lewis de Bourgh whose bounty and beneficence has preferred me to the valuable rectory of this parish where it shall be my earnest endeavour to demean myself with grateful respect towards her Ladyship and be ever ready to perform those rites and ceremonies which are instituted by the Church of England As a clergyman moreover I feel it my duty to promote and establish the blessing of peace in all families within in the reach of my influence and on these grounds I flatter myself that my present overtures are highly commendable and that the circumstance of my being next in the entail of Longbourn estate will be kindly overlooked on your side and not lead you to reject the offered olive branch I cannot otherwise than be concerned at being the means of injuring your amiable daughters and beg leave to apologise for it as well as to assure you of my readiness to make them every possible amends but of this hereafter If you should have no objection to receive me into your house I propose myself the satisfaction of waiting on you and your family Monday November 18th by four o'clock and shall probably trespass on your hospitality till the Saturday se'ennight following which I can do without any inconvenience as Lady Catherine is far from objecting to my occasional absence on a Sunday provided that some other clergyman is engaged to do the duty of the day I remain dear sir with respectful compliments to your lady and daughters your well wisher and friend WILLIAM COLLINS {para} At four o'clock therefore we may expect this peace making gentleman said Mr Bennet as he folded up the letter He seems to be a most conscientious and polite young man upon my word and I doubt not will prove a valuable acquaintance especially if Lady Catherine should be so indulgent as to let him come to us again {para} There is some sense in what he says about the girls however and if he is disposed to make them any amends I shall not be the person to discourage him {para} Though it is difficult said Jane to guess in what way he can mean to make us the atonement he thinks our due the wish is certainly to his credit {para} Elizabeth was chiefly struck by his extraordinary deference for Lady Catherine and his kind intention of christening marrying and burying his parishioners whenever it were required {para} He must be an oddity I think said she I cannot make him out There is something very pompous in his style And what can he mean by apologising for being next in the entail We cannot suppose he would help it if he could Could he be a sensible man sir {para} No my dear I think not I have great hopes of finding him quite the reverse Thee is a mixture of servility and self importance in his letter which promises well I am impatient to see him {para} In point of composition said Mary the letter does not seem defective The idea of the olive branch perhaps is not wholly new yet I think it is well expressed {para} To Catherine and Lydia neither the letter nor its writer were in any degree interesting It was next to impossible that their cousin should come in a scarlet coat and it was now some weeks since they had received pleasure from the society of a man in any other colour As for their mother Mr Collins 's letter had done away much of her ill will and she was preparing to see him with a degree of composure which astonished her husband and daughters {para} Mr Collins was punctual to his time and was received with great politeness by the whole family Mr Bennet indeed said little but the ladies were ready enough to talk and Mr Collins seemed neither in need of encouragement nor inclined to be silent himself He was a tall heavy looking young man of five and twenty His air was grave and stately and his manners were very formal He had not been long seated before he complimented Mrs Bennet on having so fine a family of daughters said he had heard much of their beauty but that in this instance fame had fallen short of the truth and added that he did not doubt her seeing them all in due time disposed of in marriage This gallantry was not much to the taste of some of his hearers but Mrs Bennet who quarreled with no compliments answered most readily {para} You are very kind I am sure and I wish with all my heart it may prove so for else they will be destitute enough Things are settled so oddly {para} You allude perhaps to the entail of this estate {para} Ah sir I do indeed It is a grievous affair to my poor girls you must confess Not that I mean to find fault with YOU for such things I know are all chance in this world There is no knowing how estates will go when once they come to be entailed {para} I am very sensible madam of the hardship to my fair cousins and could say much on the subject but that I am cautious of appearing forward and precipitate But I can assure the young ladies that I come prepared to admire them At present I will not say more but perhaps when we are better acquainted {para} He was interrupted by a summons to dinner and the girls smiled on each other They were not the only objects of Mr Collin 's admiration The hall the dining room and all its furniture were examined and praised and his commendation of everything would have touched Mrs Bennet 's heart but for the mortifying supposition of his viewing it all as his own future property The dinner too in its turn was highly admired and he begged to know to which of his fair cousins the excellency of its cooking was owing But he was set right there by Mrs Bennet who assured him with some asperity that they were very well able to keep a good cook and that her daughters had nothing to do in the kitchen He begged pardon for having displeased her In a softened tone she declared herself not at all offended but he continued to apologise for about a quarter of an hour {para} Chapter 14 {para} During dinner Mr Bennet scarcely spoke at all but when the servants were withdrawn he thought it time to have some conversation with his guest and therefore started a subject in which he expected him to shine by observing that he seemed very fortunate in his patroness Lady Catherine de Bourgh 's attention to his wishes and consideration for his comfort appeared very remarkable Mr Bennet could not have chosen better Mr Collins was eloquent in her praise The subject elevated him to more than usual solemnity of manner and with a most important aspect he protested that he had never in his life witnessed such behaviour in a person of rank such affability and condescension as he had himself experienced from Lady Catherine She had been graciously pleased to approve of both of the discourses which he had already had the honour of preaching before her She had also asked him twice to dine at Rosings and had sent for him only the Saturday before to make up her pool of quadrille in the evening Lady Catherine was reckoned proud by many people he knew but HE had never seen anything but affability in her She had always spoken to him as she would to any other gentleman she made not the smallest objection to his joining in the society of the neighbourhood nor to his leaving the parish occasionally for a week or two to visit his relations She had even condescended to advise him to marry as soon as he could provided he chose with discretion and had once paid him a visit in his humble parsonage where she had perfectly approved all the alterations he had been making and had even vouchsafed to suggest some herself some shelves in the closet upstairs {para} That is all very proper and civil I am sure said Mrs Bennet and I dare say she is a very agreeable woman It is a pity that great ladies in general are not more like her Does she live near you sir {para} The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated only by a lane from Rosings Park her ladyship 's residence {para} I think you said she was a widow sir Has she any family {para} She has only one daughter the heiress of Rosings and of very extensive property {para} Ah said Mrs Bennet shaking her head then she is better off than many girls And what sort of young lady is she Is she handsome {para} She is a most charming young lady indeed Lady Catherine herself says that in point of true beauty Miss de Bourgh is far superior to the handsomest of her sex because there is that in her features which marks the young lady of distinguished birth She is unfortunately of a sickly constitution which has prevented her from making that progress in many accomplishments which she could not have otherwise failed of as I am informed by the lady who superintended her education and who still resides with them But she is perfectly amiable and often condescends to drive by my humble abode in her little phaeton and ponies {para} Has she been presented I do not remember her name among the ladies at court {para} Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in town and by that means as I told Lady Catherine one day has deprived the British court of its brightest ornaments Her ladyship seemed pleased with the idea and you may imagine that I am happy on every occasion to offer those little delicate compliments which are always acceptable to ladies I have more than once observed to Lady Catherine that her charming daughter seemed born to be a duchess and that the most elevated rank instead of giving her consequence would be adorned by her These are the kind of little things which please her ladyship and it is a sort of attention which I conceive myself peculiarly bound to pay {para} You judge very properly said Mr Bennet and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment or are the result of previous study {para} They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time and though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible {para} Mr Bennet 's expectations were fully answered His cousin was as absurd as he had hoped and he listened to him with the keenest enjoyment maintaining at the same time the most resolute composure of countenance and except in an occasional glance at Elizabeth requiring no partner in his pleasure {para} By tea time however the dose had been enough and Mr Bennet was glad to take his guest into the drawing room again and when tea was over glad to invite him to read aloud to the ladies Mr Collins readily assented and a book was produced but on beholding it for everything announced it to be from a circulating library he started back and begging pardon protested that he never read novels Kitty stared at him and Lydia exclaimed Other books were produced and after some deliberation he chose Fordyce 's Sermons Lydia gaped as he opened the volume and before he had with very monotonous solemnity read three pages she interrupted him with {para} Do you know mamma that my uncle Phillips talks of turning away Richard and if he does Colonel Forster will hire him My aunt told me so herself on Saturday I shall walk to Meryton to morrow to hear more about it and to ask when Mr Denny comes back from town {para} Lydia was bid by her two eldest sisters to hold her tongue but Mr Collins much offended laid aside his book and said {para} I have often observed how little young ladies are interested by books of a serious stamp though written solely for their benefit It amazes me I confess for certainly there can be nothing so advantageous to them as instruction But I will no longer importune my young cousin {para} Then turning to Mr Bennet he offered himself as his antagonist at backgammon Mr Bennet accepted the challenge observing that he acted very wisely in leaving the girls to their own trifling amusements Mrs Bennet and her daughters apologised most civilly for Lydia 's interruption and promised that it should not occur again if he would resume his book but Mr Collins after assuring them that he bore his young cousin no ill will and should never resent her behaviour as any affront seated himself at another table with Mr Bennet and prepared for backgammon {para} Chapter 15 {para} Mr Collins was not a sensible man and the deficiency of nature had been but littleassisted by education or society the greatest part of his life having been spent under the guidance of an illiterate and miserly father and though he belonged to one of the universities he had merely kept the necessary terms without forming at it any useful acquaintance The subjection in which his father had brought him up had given him originally great humility of manner but it was now a good deal counteracted by the self conceit of a weak head living in retirement and the consequential feelings of early and unexpected prosperity A fortunate chance had recommended him to Lady Catherine de Bourgh when the living of Hunsford was vacant and the respect which he felt for her high rank and his veneration for her as his patroness mingling with a very good opinion of himself of his authority as a clergyman and his right as a rector made him altogether a mixture of pride and obsequiousness self importance and humility {para} Having now a good house and a very sufficient income he intended to marry and in seeking a reconciliation with the Longbourn family he had a wife in view as he meant to choose one of the daughters if he found them as handsome and amiable as they were represented by common report This was his plan off amends of atonement for inheriting their father 's estate and he thought it an excellent one full of eligibility and suitableness and excessively generous and disinterested on his own part {para} His plan did not vary on seeing them Miss Bennet 's lovely face confirmed his views and established all his strictest notions of what was due to seniority and for the first evening SHE was his settled choice The next morning however made an alteration for in a quarter of an hour 's tete a tete with Mrs Bennet before breakfast a conversation beginning with his parsonage house and leading naturally to the avowal of his hopes that a mistress might be found for it at Longbourn produced from her amid very complaisant smiles and general encouragement a caution against the very Jane he had fixed on As to her YOUNGER daughters she could not take upon her to say she could not positively answer but she did not KNOW of any prepossession her ELDEST daughter she must just mention she felt it incumbent on her to hint was likely to be very soon engaged {para} Mr Collins had only to change from Jane to Elizabeth and it was soon done done while Mrs Bennet was stirring the fire Elizabeth equally next to Jane in birth and beauty succeeded her of course {para} Mrs Bennet treasured up the hint and trusted that she might soon have two daughters married and the man whom she could not bear to speak of the day before was now high in her good graces {para} Lydia 's intention of walking to Meryton was not forgotten every sister except Mary agreed to go with her and Mr Collins was to attend them at the request of Mr Bennet who was most anxious to get rid of him and have his library to himself for thither Mr Collins had followed him after breakfast and there he would continue nominally engaged with one of the largest folios in the collection but really talking to Mr Bennet with little cessation of his house and garden at Hunsford Such doings discomposed Mr Bennet exceedingly In his library he had been always sure of leisure and tranquillity and though prepared as he told Elizabeth to meet with folly and conceit in every other room of the house he was used to be free from them there his civility therefore was most prompt in inviting Mr Collins to join his daughters in their walk and Mr Collins being in fact much better fitted for a walker than a reader was extremely pleased to close his large book and go {para} In pompous nothings on his side and civil assents on that of his cousins their time passed till they entered Meryton The attention of the younger ones was then no longer to be gained by him Their eyes were immediately wandering up in the street in quest of the officers and nothing less than a very smart bonnet indeed or a really new muslin in a shop window could recall them {para} But the attention of every lady was soon caught by a young man whom they had never seen before of most gentlemanlike appearance walking with another officer on the other side of the way The officer was the very Mr Denny concerning whose return from London Lydia came to inquire and he bowed as they passed All were struck with the stranger 's air all wondered who he could be and Kitty and Lydia determined if possible to find out led the way across the street under pretense of wanting something in an opposite shop and fortunately had just gained the pavement when the two gentlemen turning back had reached the same spot Mr Denny addressed them directly and entreated permission to introduce his friend Mr Wickham who had returned with him the day before from town and he was happy to say had accepted a commission in their corps This was exactly as it should be for the young man wanted only regimentals to make him completely charming His appearance was greatly in his favour he had all the best part of beauty a fine countenance a good figure and very pleasing address The introduction was followed up on his side by a happy readiness of conversation a readiness at the same time perfectly correct and unassuming and the whole party were still standing and talking together very agreeably when the sound of horses drew their notice and Darcy and Bingley were seen riding down the street On distinguishing the ladies of the group the two gentlemen came directly towards them and began the usual civilities Bingley was the principal spokesman and Miss Bennet the principal object He was then he said on his way to Longbourn on purpose to inquire after her Mr Darcy corroborated it with a bow an was beginning to determine not to fix his eyes on Elizabeth when they were suddenly arrested by the sight of the stranger and Elizabeth happening to see the countenance of both as they looked at each other was all astonishment at the effect of the meeting Both changed colour one looked white the other red Mr Wickham after a few moments touched his hat a salutation which Mr Darcy just deigned to return What could be the meaning of it It was impossible to imagine it was impossible not to long to know {para} In another minute Mr Bingley but without seeming to have noticed what passed took leave and rode on with his friend {para} Mr Denny and Mr Wickham walked with the young ladies to the door of Mr Phillip 's house and then made their bows in spite of Miss Lydia 's pressing entreaties that they should come in and even in spite of Mrs Phillips throwing up the parlour window and loudly seconding the invitation {para} Mrs Phillips was always glad to see her nieces and the two eldest from their recent absence were particularly welcome and she was eagerly expressing her surprise at their sudden return home which as their own carriage had not fetched them she should have known nothing about if she had not happened to see Mr Jones 's shop boy in the street who had told her that they were not to send any more draughts to Netherfield because the Miss Bennets were come away when her civility was claimed towards Mr Collins by Jane 's introduction of him She received him with her very best politeness which he returned with as much more apologising for his intrusion without any previous acquaintance with her which he could not help flattering himself however might be justified by his relationship to the young ladies who introduced him to her notice Mrs Phillips was quite awed by such an excess of good breeding but her contemplation of one stranger was soon put to an end by exclamations and inquiries about the other of whom however she could only tell her nieces what they already knew that Mr Denny had brought him from London and that he was to have a lieutenant 's commission in the shire She had been watching him the last hour she said as he walked up and down the street and had Mr Wickham appeared Kitty and Lydia would certainly have continued the occupation but unluckily no one passed windows now except a few of the officers who in comparison with the stranger were become stupid disagreeable fellows Some of them were to dine with the Phillipses the next day and their aunt promised to make her husband call on Mr Wickham and give him an invitation also if the family from Longbourn would come in the evening This was agreed to and Mrs Phillips protested that they would have a nice comfortable noisy game of lottery tickets and a little bit of hot supper afterwards The prospect of such delights was very cheering and they parted in mutual good spirits Mr Collins repeated his apologies in quitting the room and was assured with unwearying civility that they were perfectly needless {para} As they walked home Elizabeth related to Jane what she had seen pass between the two gentlemen but though Jane would have defended either or both had they appeared to be in the wrong she could no more explain such behaviour than her sister {para} Mr Collins on his return highly gratified Mrs Bennet by admiring Mrs Phillips 's manners and politeness He protested that except Lady Catherine and her daughter he had never seen a more elegant woman for she had not only received him with the utmost civility but even pointedly included him in her invitation for the next evening although utterly unknown to her before Something he supposed might be attributed to his connection with them but yet he had never met with so much attention in the whole course of his life {para} Chapter 16 {para} As no objection was made to the young people 's engagement with their aunt and all Mr Collins 's scruples of leaving Mr and Mrs Bennet for a single evening during his visit were most steadily resisted the coach conveyed him and his five cousins at a suitable hour to Meryton and the girls had the pleasure of hearing as they entered the drawing room that Mr Wickham had accepted their uncle 's invitation and was then in the house {para} When this information was given and they had all taken their seats Mr collins was at leisure to look around him and admire and he was so much struck with the size and furniture of the apartment that he declared he might almost have supposed himself in the small summer breakfast parlour at Rosings a comparison that did not at first convey much gratification but when Mrs Phillips understood from him what Rosings was and who was its proprietor when she had listened to the description of only one of Lady Catherine 's drawing rooms and found that the chimney piece alone had cost eight hundred pounds she felt all the force of the compliment and would hardly have resented a comparison with the housekeeper 's room {para} In describing to her all the grandeur of Lady Catherine and her mansion with occasional digressions in praise of his own humble abode and the improvements it was receiving he was happily employed until the gentlemen joined them and he found in Mrs Phillips a very attentive listener whose opinion of his consequence increased with what she heard and who was resolving to retail it all among her neighbours as soon as she could To the girls who could not listen to their cousin and who had nothing to do but to wish for an instrument and examine their own indifferent imitations of china on the mantelpiece the interval of waiting appeared very long It was over at last however The gentlemen did approach and when Mr Wickham walked into the room Elizabeth felt that she had neither been seeing him before nor thinking of him since with the smallest degree of unreasonable admiration The officers of the shire were in general a very creditable gentlemanlike set and the best of them were of the present party but Mr Wickham was as far beyond them all in person countenance air and walk as THEY were superior to the broad faced stuffy uncle Phillips breathing port wine who followed them into the room {para} Mr Wickham was the happy man towards whom almost every female eye was turned and Elizabeth was the happy woman by whom he finally seated himself and the agreeable manner in which he immediately fell into conversation though it was only on its being a wet night made her feel that the commonest dullest most threadbare topic might be rendered interesting by the skill of the speaker {para} With such rivals for the notice of the fair as Mr Wickham and the officers Mr Collins seemed to sink into insignificance to the young ladies he certainly was nothing but he had still at intervals a kind listener in Mrs Phillips and was by her watchfulness most abundantly supplied with coffee and muffin When the card tables were placed he had the opportunity of obliging her in turn by sitting down to whist {para} I know little of the game at present said he but I shall be glad to improve myself for in my situation in life Mrs Phillips was very glad for his compliance but could not wait for his reason {para} Mr Wickham did not play at whist and with ready delight was he received at the other table between Elizabeth and Lydia At first there seemed danger of Lydia 's engrossing him entirely for she was a most determined talked but being likewise extremely fond of lottery tickets she soon grew too much interested in the game too eager in making bets and exclaiming after prizes to have attention for anyone in particular Allowing for the common demands of the game Mr Wickham was therefore at leisure to talk to Elizabeth and she was very willing to hear him though what she chiefly wished to hear she could not hope to be told the history of his acquaintance with Mr Darcy She dared not even mention that gentleman Her curiosity however was unexpectedly relieved Mr Wickham began the subject himself He inquired how far Netherfield was from Meryton and after receiving her answer asked in a hesitating manner how long Mr Darcy had been staying there {para} About a month said Elizabeth and then unwilling to let the subject drop added he is a man of very large property in Derbyshire I understand {para} Yes replied Mr Wickham his estate there is a noble one A clear ten thousand per annum You could not have met with a person more capable of giving you certain information on that head than myself for I have been connected with his family in a particular manner from my infancy {para} Elizabeth could not but look surprised {para} You may well be surprised Miss Bennet at such an assertion after seeing as you probably might the very cold manner of our meeting yesterday Are you much acquainted with Mr Darcy {para} As much as I ever wish to be cried Elizabeth very warmly I have spent four days in the same house with him and I think him very disagreeable {para} I have no right to give MY opinion said Wickham as to his being agreeable or otherwise I am not qualified to form one I have known him too long and too well to be a fair judge It is impossible for ME to be impartial But I believe your opinion of him would in general astonish and perhaps you would not express it quite so strongly anywhere else Here you are in your own family {para} Upon my word I say no more HERE than I might say in any house in the neighbourhood except Netherfield He is not at all liked in Hertfordshire Everybody is disgusted with his pride You will not find him more favourably spoken of by any one {para} I cannot pretend to be sorry said Wickham after a short interruption that he or that any man should not be estimated beyond their deserts but with HIM I believe it does not often happen The world is blinded by his fortune and consequence or frightened by his high and imposing manners and sees him only as he chooses to be seen {para} I should take him even on MY slight acquaintance to be an ill tempered man Wickham shook his head {para} I wonder said he at the next opportunity of speaking whether he is likely to be in this country much longer {para} I do not at all know but I HEARD nothing of his going away when I was at Netherfield I hope your plans in favour of the shire will not be affected by his being in the neighbourhood {para} Oh no it is not for ME to be driven away by Mr Darcy If HE wishes to avoid seeing ME he must go We are not on friendly terms and it always gives me pain to meet him but I have no reason for avoiding HIM but what I might proclaim before all the world a sense of very great ill usage and most painful regrets at his being what he is His father Miss Bennet the late Mr Darcy was one of the best men that ever breathed and the truest friend I ever had and I can never be in company with this Mr Darcy without being grieved to the soul by a thousand tender recollections His behaviour to myself has been scandalous but I verily believe I could forgive him anything and everything rather than his disappointing the hopes and disgracing the memory of his father {para} Elizabeth found the interest of the subject increase and listened with all her heart but the delicacy of it prevented further inquiry {para} Mr Wickham began to speak on more general topics Meryton the neighbourhood the society appearing highly pleased with all that he had yet seen and speaking of the latter with gentle but very intelligible gallantry {para} It was the prospect of constant society and good society he added which was my chief inducement to enter the shire I knew it to be a most respectable agreeable corps and my friend Denny tempted me further by his account of their present quarters and the very great attentions and excellent acquaintances Meryton had procured them Society I own is necessary to me I have been a disappointed man and my spirits will not bear solitude I MUST have employment and society A military life is not what I was intended for but circumstances have now made it eligible The church OUGHT to have been my profession I was brought up for the church and I should at this time have been in possession of a most valuable living had it pleased the gentleman we were speaking of just now {para} Indeed {para} Yes the late Mr Darcy bequeathed me the next presentation of the best living in his gift He was my godfather and excessively attached to me I cannot do justice to his kindness He meant to provide for me amply and thought he had done it but when the living fell it was given elsewhere {para} Good heavens cried Elizabeth but how could THAT be How could his will be disregarded Why did you not seek legal redress {para} There was just such an informality in the terms of the bequest as to give me no hope from law A man of honour could not have doubted the intention but Mr Darcy chose to doubt it or to treat it as a merely conditional recommendation and to assert that I had forfeited all claim to it by extravagance imprudence in short anything or nothing Certain it is that the living became vacant two years ago exactly as I was of an age to hold it and that it was given to another man and no less certain is it that I cannot accuse myself of having really done anything to deserve to lose it I have a warm unguarded temper and I may have spoken my opinion OF him and TO him too freely I can recall nothing worse But the fact is that we are very different sort of men and that he hates me {para} This is quite shocking He deserves to be publicly disgraced {para} Some time or other he WILL be but it shall not be by ME Till I can forget his father I can never defy or expose HIM {para} Elizabeth honoured him for such feelings and thought him handsomer than ever as he expressed them {para} But what said she after a pause can have been his motive What can have induced him to behave so cruelly {para} A thorough determined dislike of me a dislike which I cannot but attribute in some measure to jealousy Had the late Mr Darcy liked me less his son might have borne with me better but his father 's uncommon attachment to me irritated him I believe very early in life He had not a temper to bear the sort of competition in which we stood the sort of preference which was often given me {para} I had not thought Mr Darcy so bad as this though I have never liked him I had not thought so very ill of him I had supposed him to be despising his fellow creatures in general but did not suspect him of descending to such malicious revenge such injustice such inhumanity as this {para} After a few minutes reflection however she continued I DO remember his boasting one day at Netherfield of the implacability of his resentments of his having an unforgiving temper His disposition must be dreadful {para} I will not trust myself on the subject replied Wickham I can hardly be just to him {para} Elizabeth was again deep in thought and after a time exclaimed to treat in such a manner the godson the friend the favorite of his father She could have added a young man too like YOU whose very countenance may vouch for your being amiable but she contented herself with and one too who had probably been his companion from childhood connected together as I think you said in the closest manner {para} We were born in the same parish within the same park the greatest part of our youth was passed together inmates of the same house sharing the same amusements objects of the same parental care MY father began life in the profession which your uncle Mr Phillips appears to do so much credit to but he gave up everything to be of use to the late Mr Darcy and devoted all his time to the care of the Pemberley property He was most highly esteemed by Mr Darcy a most intimate confidential friend Mr Darcy often acknowledged himself to be under the greatest obligations to my father 's active superintendence and when immediately before my father 's death Mr Darcy gave him a voluntary promise of providing for me I am convinced that he felt it to be as much a debt of gratitude to HIM as of his affection to myself {para} How strange cried Elizabeth How abominable I wonder that the very pride of this Mr Darcy has not made him just to you If from no better motive that he should not have been too proud to be dishonest for dishonesty I must call it {para} It IS wonderful replied Wickham for almost all his actions may be traced to pride and pride had often been his best friend It has connected him nearer with virtue than with any other feeling But we are none of us consistent and in his behaviour to me there were stronger impulses even than pride {para} Can such abominable pride as his have ever done him good {para} Yes It has often led him to be liberal and generous to give his money freely to display hospitality to assist his tenants and relieve the poor Family pride and FILIAL pride for he is very proud of what his father was have done this Not to appear to disgrace his family to degenerate from the popular qualities or lose the influence of the Pemberley House is a powerful motive He has also BROTHERLY pride which with SOME brotherly affection makes him a very kind and careful guardian of his sister and you will hear him generally cried up as the most attentive and best of brothers {para} What sort of girl is Miss Darcy {para} He shook his head I wish I could call her amiable It gives me pain to speak ill of a Darcy But she is too much like her brother very very proud As a child she was affectionate and pleasing and extremely fond of me and I have devoted hours and hours to her amusement But she is nothing to me now She is a handsome girl about fifteen or sixteen and I understand highly accomplished Since her father 's death her home has been London where a lady lives with her and superintends her education {para} After many pauses and many trials of other subjects Elizabeth could not help reverting once more to the first and saying {para} I am astonished at his intimacy with Mr Bingley How can Mr Bingley who seems good humour itself and is I really believe truly amiable be in friendship with such a man How can they suit each other Do you know Mr Bingley {para} Not at all {para} He is a sweet tempered amiable charming man He cannot know what Mr Darcy is {para} Probably not but Mr Darcy can please where he chooses He does not want abilities He can be a conversible companion if he thinks it worth his while Among those who are at all his equals in consequence he is a very different man from what he is to the less prosperous His pride never deserts him but with the rich he is liberal minded just sincere rational honourable and perhaps agreeable allowing something for fortune and figure {para} The whist party soon afterwards breaking up the players gathered round the other table and Mr Collins took his station between his cousin Elizabeth and Mrs Phillips The usual inquiries as to his success was made by the latter It had not been very great he had lost every point but when Mrs Phillips began to express her concern thereupon he assured her with much earnest gravity that it was not of the least importance that he considered the money as a mere trifle and begged that she would not make herself uneasy {para} I know very well madam said he that when persons sit down to a card table they must take their chances of these things and happily I am not in such circumstances as to make five shillings any object There are undoubtedly many who could not say the same but thanks to Lady Catherine de Bourgh I am removed far beyond the necessity of regarding little matters {para} Mr Wickham 's attention was caught and after observing Mr Collins for a few moments he asked Elizabeth in a low voice whether her relation was very intimately acquainted with the family of de Bourgh {para} Lady Catherine de Bourgh she replied has very lately given him a living I hardly know how Mr Collins was first introduced to her notice but he certainly has not known her long {para} You know of course that Lady Catherine de Bourgh and Lady Anne Darcy were sisters consequently that she is aunt to the present Mr Darcy {para} No indeed I did not I knew nothing at all of Lady Catherine 's connections I never heard of her existence till the day before yesterday {para} Her daughter Miss de Bourgh will have a very large fortune and it is believed that she and her cousin will unite the two estates {para} This information made Elizabeth smile as she thought of poor Miss Bingley Vain indeed must be all her attentions vain and useless her affection for his sister and her praise of himself if he were already self destined for another {para} Mr Collins siad she speaks highly both of Lady Catherine and her daughter but from some particulars that he has related of her ladyship I suspect his gratitude misleads him and that in spite of her being his patroness she is an arrogant conceited woman {para} I believe her to be both in a great degree replied Wickham I have not seen her for many years but I very well remember that I never liked her and that her manners were dictatorial and insolent She has the reputation of being remarkably sensible and clever but I rather believe she derives part of her abilities from her rank and fortune part from her authoritative manner and the rest from the pride for her nephew who chooses that every one connected with him should have an understanding of the first class {para} Elizabeth allowed that he had given a very rational account of it and they continued talking together with mutual satisfaction till supper put an end to cards and gave the rest of the ladies their share of Mr Wickham 's attentions There could be no conversation in the noise of Mrs Phillips supper party but his manners recommended him to everybody Whatever he said was said well and whatever he did done gracefully Elizabeth went away with her head full of him She could think of nothing but of Mr Wickham and of what he had told her all the way home but there was not time for her even to mention his name as they went for neither Lydia nor Mr Collins were once silent Lydia talked incessantly of lottery tickets of the fish she had lost and the fish she had won and Mr Collins in describing the civility of Mr and Mrs Phillips protesting that he did not in the least regard his losses at whist enumerating all the dishes at supper and repeatedly fearing that he crowded his cousins had more to say than he could well manage before the carriage stopped at Longbourn House {para} Chapter 17 {para} Elizabeth related to Jane the next day what had passed between Mr Wickham and herself Jane listened with astonishment and concern she knew not how to believe that Mr Darcy could be so unworthy of Mr Bingley 's regard and yet it was not in her nature to question the veracity of a young man of such amiable appearance as Wickham The possibility of his having endured such unkindness was enough to interest all her tender feelings and nothing remained therefore to be done but to think well of them both to defend the conduct of each and throw into the account of accident or mistake whatever could not be otherwise explained {para} They have both said she been deceived I dare say in some way or other pf which we can form no idea Interested people have perhaps misrepresented each to the other It is in short impossible for us to conjecture the causes or circumstances which may have alienated them without actual blame on either side {para} Very true indeed and now my dear Jane what have you got to say on behalf of the interested people who have probably been concerned in the business Do clear THEM too or we shall be obliged to think ill of somebody {para} Laugh as much as you choose but you will not laugh me out of my opinion My dearest Lizzy do but consider in what a disgraceful light it places Mr Darcy to be treating his father 's favourite in such a manner one whom his father had promised to provide for It is impossible No man of common humanity no man who had any value for his character could be capable of it Can his most intimate friends be so excessively deceived in him Oh no {para} I can much more easily believe Mr Bingley 's being imposed on than that Mr Wickham should invent such a history of himself as he gave me last night names facts everything mentioned without ceremony If it be not so let Mr Darcy contradict it Besides there was truth in his looks {para} It is difficult indeed it is distressing One does not know what to think {para} I beg your pardon one knows exactly what to think {para} But Jane could think with certainty on only one point that Mr Bingley if he HAD been imposed on would have much to suffer when the affair became public {para} The two young ladies were summoned from the shrubbery where this conversation passed by the arrival of the very persons of whom they had been speaking Mr Bingley and his sisters came to give their personal invitation for the long expected ball at Netherfield which was fixed for the following Tuesday The two ladies were delighted to see their dear friend again called it an age since they had met and repeatedly asked what she had been doing with herself since their separation To the rest of the family they paid little attention avoiding Mrs Bennet as much as possible saying not much to Elizabeth and nothing at all to the others They were soon gone again rising from their seats with an activity which took their brother by surprise and hurrying off as if eager to escape from Mrs Bennet 's civilities {para} The prospect of the Netherfield ball was extremely agreeable to every female of the family Mrs Bennet chose to consider it as given in compliment to her eldest daughter and was particularly flattered by receiving the invitation from Mr Bingley himself instead of a ceremonious card Jane pictured to herself a happy evening in the society of her two friends and the attentions of her brother and Elizabeth thought with pleasure of dancing a great deal with Mr Wickham and of seeing a confirmation of everything in Mr Darcy 's look and behavior The happiness anticipated by Catherine and Lydia depended less on any single event or any particular person for though they each like Elizabeth meant to dance half the evening with Mr Wickham he was be no means the only partner who could satisfy them and a ball was at any rate a ball And even Mary could assure her family that she had no disinclination for it {para} While I can have my mornings to myself said she it is enough I think it is no sacrifice to join occasionally in evening engagements Society has claims on us all and I profess myself one of hose who consider intervals of recreation and amusement as desirable for everybody {para} Elizabeth 's spirits were so high on this occasion that though she did not often speak unnecessarily to Mr Collins she could not help asking him whether he intended to accept Mr Bingley 's invitation and if he did whether he would think it proper to join in the evening 's amusement and she was rather surprised to find that he entertained no scruple whatever on that head and was very far from dreading a rebuke either from the Archbishop or Lady Catherine de Bourgh by venturing to dance {para} I am by no means of the opinion I assure you said he that a ball of this kind given by a young man of character to respectable people can have any evil tendency and I am so far from objecting to dancing myself that I shall hope to be honoured with the hands of all my fair cousins in the course of the evening and I take this opportunity of soliciting yours Miss Elizabeth for the two first dances especially a preference which I trust my cousin Jane will attribute to the right cause and not to any disrespect for her {para} Elizabeth felt herself completely taken in She had fully proposed being engaged by Mr Wickham for those very dances and to have Mr Collins instead her liveliness had never been worse times There was no help for it however Mr Wickham 's happiness and her own were perforce delayed a little longer and Mr Collins proposal accepted with as good a grace as she could She was not better the pleased with his gallantry from the idea it suggested of something more It now first struck her that SHE was selected from among her sisters as worthy of being mistress of Hunsford Parsonage and of assisting to form a quadrille table at Rosings in the absence of more eligible visitors The idea soon reached to conviction as she observed his increasing civilities toward herself and heard his frequent attempt at a compliment on her wit and vivacity and though more astonished than gratified herself by this effect of her charms it was not long before her mother gave her to understand that the probability of their marriage was extremely agreeable to HER Elizabeth however did not choose to take the hint being well aware that a serious dispute must be the consequence of any reply Mr Collins might never make the offer and till he did it was useless to quarrel about him {para} If there had not been a Netherfield ball to prepare for and talk of the younger Miss Bennets would have been in a very pitiable state at this time for form the day of the invitation to the day of the ball there was such a succession of rain as prevented their walking to Meryton once No aunt no officers no news could be sought after the very shoe roses for Netherfield were got by proxy Even Elizabeth might have found some trial of her patience in weather which totally suspended the improvement of her acquaintance with Mr Wickham and nothing less than a dance on Tuesday could have made such a Friday Saturday Sunday and Monday endurable to Kitty and Lydia {para} Chapter 18 {para} Till Elizabeth entered the drawing room at Netherfield and looked in vain for Mr Wickham among the cluster of red coats there assembled a doubt of his being present had never occurred to her The certainty of meeting him had not been checked by any of those recollections that might not unreasonably have alarmed her She had dressed with more than usual care and prepared in the highest spirits for the conquest of all that remained unsubdued of his heart trusting that it was not more than might be won in the course of the evening But in an instant arose the dreadful suspicion of his being purposely omitted for Mr Darcy 's pleasure in the Bingleys invitation to the officers and though this was not exactly the case the absolute fact of his absence was pronounced by his friend Denny to whom Lydia eagerly applied and who told them that Wickham had been obliged to go to town on business the day before and was not yet returned adding with a significant smile I do not imagine his business would have called him away just now if he had not wanted to avoid a certain gentleman here {para} This part of his intelligence though unheard by Lydia was caught by Elizabeth and as it assured her that Darcy was not less answerable for Wickham 's absence than if her first surmise had been just every feeling of displeasure against the former was so sharpened by immediate disappointment that she could hardly reply with tolerable civility to the polite inquiries which he directly afterwards approached to make Attendance forbearance patience with Darcy was injury to Wickham She was resolved against any sort of conversation with him and turned away with a degree of ill humour which she could not wholly surmount even in speaking to Mr Bingley whose blind partiality provoked her {para} But Elizabeth was not formed for ill humour and though every prospect of her own was destroyed for the evening it could not dwell long on her spirits and having told all her griefs to Charlotte Lucas whom she had not seen for a week she was soon able to make a voluntary transition to the oddities of her cousin and to point him out to her particular notice The first two dances however brought a return of distress they were dances of mortification Mr Collins awkward and solemn apologising instead of attending and often moving wrong without being aware of it gave her all the shame and misery which disagreeable partner for a couple of dances can give The moment of her release from him was ecstasy {para} She danced next with an officer and had the refreshment of talking of Wickham and of hearing that he was universally liked When those dances were over she returned to Charlotte Lucas and was in conversation with her when she found herself suddenly addressed by Mr Darcy who took her so much by surprise in his application for her hand that without knowing what she did she accepted him He walked away again immediately and she was left to fret over her own want of presence of mind Charlotte tried to console her {para} I dare say you will find him very agreeable {para} Heaven forbid THAT would be the greatest misfortune of all To find a man agreeable whom on is determined to hate Do not wish me such an evil {para} When the dancing recommenced however and Darcy approached to claim her hand Charlotte could not help cautioning her in a whisper not to be a simpleton and allow her fancy for Wickham to make her appear unpleasant in the eyes of a man ten times his consequence Elizabeth made no answer and took her place in the set amazed at the dignity to which she was arrived in being allowed to stand opposite to Mr Darcy and reading in her neighbours looks their equal amazement in beholding it They stood for some time without speaking a word and she began to imagine that their silence was to last through the two dances and at first was resolved not to break it till suddenly fancying that it would be the greater punishment to her partner to oblige him to talk she made some slight observation on the dance He replied and was again silent After a pause of some minutes she addressed him a second time with It is YOUR turn to say something now Mr Darcy I talked about the dance and YOU ought to make some sort of remark on the size of the room or the number of couples {para} He smiled and assured her that whatever she wished him to say should be said {para} Very well That reply will do for the present Perhaps by and by I may observe that private balls are much pleasanter than public ones But NOW we may be silent {para} Do you talk by rule then while you are dancing {para} Sometimes One must speak a little you know It would look odd to be entirely silent for half an hour together and yet for the advantage of SOME conversation ought to be so arranged as that they may have the trouble of saying as little as possible {para} Are you consulting your own feelings in the present case or do you imagine that you are gratifying mine {para} Both replied Elizabeth archly for I have always seen a great similarity in the turn of our minds We are each of an unsocial taciturn disposition unwilling to speak unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room and be handed down to posterity with all the eclat of a proverb {para} This is no very striking resemblance of your own character I am sure said he How near it may be to MINE I cannot pretend to say YOU think it a faithful portrait undoubtedly {para} I must not decide on my own performance {para} He made no answer and they were again silent till they had gone down the dance when he asked her if she and her sisters did not very often walk to Meryton She answered in the affirmative and unable to resist the temptation added When you met us there the other day we had just been forming a new acquaintance {para} The effect was immediate A deeper shade of hauteur overspread his features but he said not a word and Elizabeth though blaming herself for her own weakness could not go on At length Darcy spoke and in a constrained manner said Mr Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his MAKING friends whether he may be equally capable of RETAINING them is less certain {para} He has been so unlucky as to lose YOUR friendship replied Elizabeth with emphasis and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life {para} Darcy made no answer and seemed desirous of changing the subject At that moment Sir William Lucas appeared close to them meaning to pass through the set to the other side of the room but on perceiving Mr Darcy he stopped with a bow of superior courtesy to compliment him on his dancing and his partner {para} I have been most highly gratified indeed my dear sir Such very superior dancing is not often seen It is evident that you belong to the first circles Allow me to say however that your fair partner does not disgrace you and that I must hope to have this pleasure often repeated especially when a certain desirable event my dear Eliza glancing at her sister and Bingley shall take place What congratulations will then flow in I appeal to Mr Darcy but let me not interrupt you sir You will not thank me for detaining you from the bewitching converse of that young lady whose bright eyes are also upbraiding me {para} The latter part of this address was scarcely heard by Darcy but Sir William 's allusion to his friend seemed to strike him forcibly and his eyes were directed with a very serious expression towards Bingley and Jane who were dancing together Recovering himself however shortly he turned to his partner and said Sir William 's interruption has made me forget what we were talking of {para} I do not think we were speaking at all Sir William could not have interrupted two people in the room who had less to say for themselves We have tried two or three subjects already without success and what we are to talk of next I cannot imagine {para} What think you of books said he smiling {para} Books oh no I am sure we never read the same or not with the same feelings {para} I am sorry you think so but if that be the case there can at least be no want of subject We may compare our different opinions {para} No I cannot talk of books in a ball room my head is always full of something else {para} The PRESENT always occupies you in such scenes does it said he with a look of doubt {para} Yes always she replied without knowing what she said for her thoughts had wandered far from the subject as soon afterwards appeared by her suddenly exclaiming I remember hearing you once say Mr Darcy that you hardly ever forgave that you resentment once created was unappeasable You are very cautious I suppose as to its BEING CREATED {para} I am said he with a firm voice {para} And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice {para} I hope not {para} It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion to be secure of judging properly at first {para} May I ask to what these questions tend {para} Merely to the illustration of YOUR character said she endeavouring to shake off her gravity I am trying to make it out {para} And what is your success {para} She shook her head I do not get on at all I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly {para} I can readily believe answered he gravely that reports may vary greatly with respect to me and I could wish Miss Bennet that you were not to sketch my character at the present moment as there is reason to fear that the performance would reflect no credit on either {para} But if I do not take your likeness now I may never have another opportunity {para} I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours he coldly replied She said no more and they went down the other dance and parted in silence and on each side dissatisfied though not to an equal degree for in Darcy 's breast there was a tolerable powerful feeling towards her which soon procured her pardon and directed all his anger against another {para} They had not long separated when Miss Bingley came towards her and with an expression of civil disdain accosted her So Miss Eliza I hear you are quite delighted with George Wickham Your sister has been talking to me about him and asking me a thousand questions and I find that the young man quite forgot to tell you among his other communication that he was the son of old Wickham the late Mr Darcy 's steward Let me recommend you however as a friend not to give implicit confidence to all his assertions for as to Mr Darcy 's using him ill it is perfectly false for on the contrary he has always been remarkably kind to him though George Wickham has treated Mr Darcy in a most infamous manner I do not know the particulars but I know very well that Mr Darcy is not in the least to blame that he cannot bear to hear George Wickham mentioned and that though my brother thought that he could not well avoid including him in his invitation to the officers he was excessively glad to find that he had taken himself out of the way His coming into the country at all is a most insolent thing indeed and I wonder how he could presume to do it I pity you Miss Eliza for this discovery of your favourite 's guilt but really considering his descent one could not expect much better {para} His guilt and his descent appear by your account to be the same said Elizabeth angrily for I have heard you accuse him of nothing worse than of being the son of Mr Darcy 's steward and of THAT I can assure you he informed me himself {para} I beg your pardon replied Miss Bingley turning away with a sneer Excuse my interference it was kindly meant {para} Insolent girl said Elizabeth to herself You are much mistaken if you expect to influence me by such a paltry attack as this I see nothing in it but your own wilful ignorance and the malice of Mr Darcy She then sought her eldest sister who has undertaken to make inquiries on the same subject of Bingley Jane met her with a smile of such sweet complacency a glow of such happy expression as sufficiently marked how well she was satisfied with the occurrences of the evening Elizabeth instantly read her feelings and at that moment solicitude for Wickham resentment against his enemies and everything else gave way before the hope of Jane 's being in the fairest way for happiness {para} I want to know said she with a countenance no less smiling than her sister 's what you have learnt about Mr Wickham But perhaps you have been too pleasantly engaged to think of any third person in which case you may be sure of my pardon {para} No replied Jane I have not forgotten him but I have nothing satisfactory to tell you Mr Bingley does not know the whole of his history and is quite ignorant of the circumstances which have principally offended Mr Darcy but he will vouch for the good conduct the probity and honour of his friend and is perfectly convinced that Mr Wickham has deserved much less attention from Mr Darcy than he has received and I am sorry to say by his account as well as his sister 's Mr Wickham is by no means a respectable young man I am afraid he has been very imprudent and has deserved to lose Mr Darcy 's regard {para} Mr Bingley does not know Mr Wickham himself {para} No he never saw him till the other morning at Meryton {para} This account then is what he has received from Mr Darcy I am satisfied But what does he say of the living {para} He does not exactly recollect the circumstances though he has heard them from Mr Darcy more than once but he believes that it was left to him CONDITIONALLY only {para} I have not a doubt of Mr Bingley 's sincerity said Elizabeth warmly but you must excuse my not being convinced by assurances only Mr Bingley 's defense of his friend was a very able one I dare say but since he is unacquainted with several parts of the story and has learnt the rest from that friend himself I shall venture to still think of both gentlemen as I did before {para} She then changed the discourse to one more gratifying to each and on which there could be no difference of sentiment Elizabeth listened with delight to the happy though modest hopes which Jane entertained of Mr Bingley 's regard and said all in her power to heighten her confidence in it On their being joined by Mr Bingley himself Elizabeth withdrew to Miss Lucas to whose inquiry after the pleasantness of her last partner she had scarcely replied before Mr Collins came up to them and told her with great exultation that he had just been so fortunate as to make a most important discovery {para} I have found out said he by a singular accident that there is now in the room a near relation of my patroness I happened to overhear the gentleman himself mentioning to the young lady who does the honours of the house the names of his cousin Miss de Bourgh and of her mother Lady Catherine How wonderfully these sort of things occur Who would have thought of my meeting with perhaps a nephew of Lady Catherine de Bourgh in his assembly I am most thankful that the discovery is made in time for me to pay my respects to him which I am now going to do and trust he will excuse my not having done it before My total ignorance of the connection must plead my apology {para} You are not going to introduce yourself to Mr Darcy {para} Indeed I am I shall entreat his pardon for not having done it earlier I believe him to be Lady Catherine 's NEPHEW It will be in my power to assure him that her ladyship was quite well yesterday se'nnight {para} Elizabeth tried hard to dissuade him from such a scheme assuring him that Mr Darcy would consider his addressing him without introduction as an impertinent freedom rather than a compliment to his aunt that it was not in the least necessary there should be any notice on either side and that if it were it must belong to Mr Darcy the superior in consequence to begin the acquaintance Mr Collins listened to her with the determined air of following his own inclination and when she ceased speaking replied thus My dear Miss Elizabeth I have the highest opinion in the world in your excellent judgement in all matters within the scope of your understanding but permit me to say that there must be a wide difference between the established forms of ceremony amongst the laity and those which regulate the clergy for give me leave to observe that I consider the clerical office as equal in point of dignity with the highest rank in the kingdom provided that a proper humility of behaviour is at the same time maintained You must therefore allow me to follow the dictates of my conscience on this occasion which leads me to perform what I look on as a point of duty Pardon me for neglecting to profit by your advice which on every other subject shall be my constant guide though in the case before us I consider myself more fitted by education and habitual study to decide on what is right than a young lady like yourself And with a low bow he left her to attack Mr Darcy whose reception of his advances she eagerly watched and whose astonishment at being so addressed was very evident Her cousin prefaced his speech with a solemn bow and though she could not hear a word of it she felt as if hearing it all and saw in the motion of his lips the words apology Hunsford and Lady Catherine de Bourgh It vexed her to see him expose himself to such a man Mr Darcy was eyeing him with unrestrained wonder and when at last Mr Collins allowed him time to speak replied with an air of distant civility Mr Collins however was not discouraged from speaking again and Mr Darcy 's contempt seemed abundantly increasing with the length of his second speech and at the end of it he only made him a slight bow and moved another way Mr Collins then returned to Elizabeth {para} I have no reason I assure you said he to be dissatisfied with my reception Mr Darcy seemed much pleased with the attention He answered me with the utmost civility and even paid me the compliment of saying that he was so well convinced of Lady Catherine 's discernment as to be certain she could never bestow a favour unworthily It was really a very handsome thought Upon the whole I am much pleased with him {para} As Elizabeth had no longer any interest of her own to pursue she turned her attention almost entirely on her sister and Mr Bingley and the train of agreeable reflections which her observations gave birth to made her perhaps almost as happy as Jane She saw her in idea settled in that very house in all the felicity which a marriage of true affection could bestow and she felt capable under such circumstances of endeavouring even to like Bingley 's two sisters Her mother 's thoughts she plainly saw were bent the same way and she determined not to venture near her lest she might hear too much When they sat down to supper therefore she considered it a most unlucky perverseness which placed them within one of each other and deeply was she vexed to find that her mother was talking to that one person Lady Lucas freely openly and of nothing else but her expectation that Jane would soon be married to Mr Bingley It was an animating subject and Mrs Bennet seemed incapable of fatigue while enumerating the advantages of the match His being such a charming young man and so rich and living but three miles from them were the first points of self gratulation and then it was such a comfort to think how fond the two sisters were of Jane and to be certain that they must desire the connection as much as she could do It was moreover such a promising thing for her younger daughters as Jane 's marrying so greatly must throw them in the way of other rich men and lastly it was so pleasant at her time of life to be able to consign her single daughters to the care of their sister that she might not be obliged to go into company more than she liked It was necessary to make this circumstance a matter of pleasure because on such occasions it is the etiquette but no one was less likely than Mrs Bennet to find comfort in staying home at any period of her life She concluded with many good wishes that Lady Lucas might soon be equally fortunate though evidently and triumphantly believing there was no chance of it {para} In vain did Elizabeth endeavour to check the rapidity of her mother 's words or persuade her to describe her felicity in a less audible whisper for to her inexpressible vexation she could perceive that the chief of it was overheard by Mr Darcy who sat opposite to them Her mother only scolded her for being nonsensical {para} What is Mr Darcy to me pray that I should be afraid of him I am sure we owe him no such particular civility as to be obliged to say nothing HE may not like to hear {para} For heaven 's sake madam speak lower What advantage can it be for you to offend Mr Darcy You will never recommend yourself to his friend by so doing {para} Nothing that she could say however had any influence Her mother would talk of her views in the same intelligible tone Elizabeth blushed and blushed again with shame and vexation She could not help frequently glancing her eye at Mr Darcy though every glance convinced her of what she dreaded for though he was not always looking at her mother she was convinced that his attention was invariably fixed by her The expression of his face changed gradually from indignant contempt to a composed and steady gravity {para} At length however Mrs Bennet had no more to say and Lady Lucas who had been long yawning at the repetition of delights which she saw no likelihood of sharing was left to the comforts of cold ham and chicken Elizabeth now began to revive But not long was the interval of tranquillity for when supper was over singing was talked of and she had the mortification of seeing Mary after very little entreaty preparing to oblige the company By many significant looks and silent entreaties did she endeavour to prevent such a proof of complaisance but in vain Mary would not understand them such an opportunity of exhibiting was delightful to her and she began her song Elizabeth 's eyes were fixed on her with most painful sensations and she watched her progress through the several stanzas with an impatience which was very ill rewarded at their close for Mary on receiving amongst the thanks of the table the hint of a hope that she might be prevailed on to favour them again after the pause of half a minute began another Mary 's powers were by no means fitted for such a display her voice was weak and her manner affected Elizabeth was in agonies She looked at Jane to see how she bore it but Jane was very composedly talking to Bingley She looked at his two sisters and saw them making signs of derision at each other and at Darcy who continued however imperturbably grave She looked at her father to entreat his interference lest Mary should be singing all night He took the hint and when Mary had finished her second song said aloud That will do extremely well child You have delighted us long enough Let the other young ladies have time to exhibit {para} Mary though pretending not to hear was somewhat disconcerted and Elizabeth sorry for her and sorry for her father 's speech was afraid her anxiety had done no good Others of the party were now applied to {para} If I said Mr Collins were so fortunate as to be able to sing I should have great pleasure I am sure in obliging the company with an air for I consider music as a very innocent diversion and perfectly compatible with the profession of a clergyman I do not mean however to assert that we can be justified in devoting too much of our time to music for there are certainly other things to be attended to The rector of a parish has much to do In the first place he must make such an agreement for tithes as a may be beneficial to himself and not offensive to his patron He must write his own sermons and the time that remains will not be too much for his parish duties and the care and improvement of his dwelling which he cannot be excused from making as a comfortable as a possible And I do not think it of light importance that he should have attentive and conciliatory manner towards everybody especially towards those to whom he owes his preferment I cannot acquit him of that duty nor could I think well of the man who should omit an occasion of testifying his respect towards anybody connected with the family And with a bow to Mr Darcy he concluded his speech which had been spoken so loud as a to be heard by half the room Many stared many smiled but no one looked more amused than Mr Bennet himself while his wife seriously commended Mr Collins for having spoken so sensibly and observed in a half whisper to Lady Lucas that he was a remarkably clever good kind of young man {para} To Elizabeth it appeared that had her family made an agreement to expose themselves as a much as a they could during the evening it would have been impossible for them to play their parts with more spirit or finer success and happy did she think it for Bingley and her sister that some of the exhibition had escaped his notice and that his feelings were not of a sort to be much distressed by the folly which he must have witnessed That his two sisters and Mr Darcy however should have such an opportunity of ridiculing her relations was bad enough and she could not determine whether the silent contempt of the gentleman or the insolent smiles of the ladies were more intolerable {para} The rest of the evening brought her little amusement She was teased by Mr Collins who continued most perseveringly by her side and though he could not prevail on her to dance with him again put it out of her power to dance with others In vain did she entreat him to stand up with somebody else and offer to introduce him to any young lady in the room He assured her that as to dancing he was perfectly indifferent to it that his chief object was by delicate attentions to recommend himself to her and that he should therefore make a point of remaining close to her the whole evening There was no arguing upon such a project She owed her greatest relief to her friend Miss Lucas who often joined them and good naturedly engaged Mr Collins 's conversation to herself {para} She was at least free from the offense of Mr Darcy 's further notice though often standing within a very short distance of her quite disengaged he never came near enough to speak She felt it to be the probable consequence of her allusions to Mr Wickham and rejoiced in it {para} The Longbourn party were the last of all the company to depart and by a manoeuvre of Mrs Bennet had to wait for their carriage a quarter of an hour after everybody else was gone which gave them time to see how heartily they were wished away by some of the family Mrs Hurst and her sister scarcely opened their mouths except to complain of fatigue and were evidently impatient to have the house to themselves They repulsed every attempt of Mrs Bennet at conversation and by so doing threw a languor over the whole party which was very little relieved by the long speeches of Mr Collins who was complimenting Mr Bingley and his sisters on the elegance of their entertainment and the hospitality and politeness which had marked their behaviour to their guests Darcy said nothing at all Mr Bennet in equal silence was enjoying the scene Mr Bingley and Jane were standing together a little detached from the rest and talked only to each other Elizabeth preserved as steady a silence as either Mrs Hurst or Miss Bingley and even Lydia was too much fatigued to utter more than the occasional exclamation of Lord how tired I am accompanied by a violent yawn {para} When at length they arose to take leave Mrs Bennet was most pressingly civil in her hope of seeing the whole family soon at Longbourn and addressed herself especially to Mr Bingley to assure him how happy he would make them by eating a family dinner with them at any time without the ceremony of a formal invitation Bingley was all grateful pleasure and he readily engaged for taking the earliest opportunity of waiting on her after his return from London whither he was obliged to go the next day for a short time {para} Mrs Bennet was perfectly satisfied and quitted the house under the delightful persuasion that allowing for the necessary preparations of settlements new carriages and wedding clothes she should undoubtedly see her daughter settled at Netherfield in the course of three or four months Of having another daughter married to Mr Collins she thought with equal certainty and with considerable though not equal pleasure Elizabeth was the least dear to her of all her children and though the man and the match were quite good enough for HER the worth of each was eclipsed by Mr Bingley and Netherfield {para} Chapter 19 {para} The next day opened a new scene at Longbourn Mr Collins made his declaration in form Having resolved to do it without loss of time as his leave of absence extended only to the following Saturday and having no feelings of diffidence to make it distressing to himself even at the moment he set about it in a very orderly manner with all the observances which he supposed a regular part of the business On finding Mrs Bennet Elizabeth and one of the younger girls together soon after breakfast he addressed the mother in these words May I hope madam for your interest with your fair daughter Elizabeth when I solicit for the honour of a private audience with her in the course of this morning {para} Before Elizabeth had time for anything but a blush of surprise Mrs Bennet answered instantly Oh dear yes certainly I am sure Lizzy will be very happy I am sure she can have no objection Come Kitty I want you upstairs And gathering her work together she was hastening away when Elizabeth called out {para} Dear madam do not go I beg you will not go Mr Collins must excuse me He can have nothing to say to me that anybody need not hear I am going away myself {para} No no nonsense Lizzy I desire you to stay where you are And upon Elizabeth 's seeming really with vexed and embarrassed looks about to escape she added Lizzy I INSIST upon your staying and hearing Mr Collins {para} Elizabeth would not oppose such and injunction and a moment 's consideration making her also sensible that it would be wisest to get it over as soon and as quietly as possible she sat down again and tried to conceal by incessant employment the feelings which were divided between distress and diversion Mrs Bennet and Kitty walked off and as soon as they were gone Mr Collins began {para} Believe me my dear Miss Elizabeth that your modesty so far from doing you any disservice rather adds to your other perfections You would have been less amiable in my eyes had there NOT been this little unwillingness but allow me to assure you that I have your respected mother 's permission for this address You can hardly doubt the purport of my discourse however your natural delicacy may lead you to dissemble my attentions have been too marked to be mistaken Almost as soon as I entered the house I singled you out as the companion of my future life But before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject perhaps it would be advisable for me to state my reasons for marrying and moreover for coming into Hertfordshire with the design of selecting a wife as I certainly did {para} The idea of Mr Collins with all his solemn composure being run away with by his feelings made Elizabeth so near laughing that she could not use the short pause he allowed in any attempt to stop him further and he continued {para} My reasons for marrying are first that I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances like myself to set the example of matrimony in his parish secondly that I am convinced that it will add very greatly to my happiness and thirdly which perhaps I ought to have mentioned earlier that it is the particular advice and recommendation of the very noble lady whom I have the honour of calling patroness Twice has she condescended to give me her opinion unasked too on this subject and it was but the very Saturday night before I left Hunsford between our pools at quadrille while Mrs Jenkins was arranging Miss de Bourgh 's footstool that she said Mr Collins you must marry A clergyman like you must marry Choose properly choose a gentlewoman for MY sake and for your OWN let her be an active useful sort of person not brought up high but able to make a small income go a good way This is my advice Find such a woman as soon as you can bring her to Hunsford and I will visit her Allow me by the way to observe my fair cousin that I do not reckon the notice and kindness of Lady Catherine de Bourgh as among the least of the advantages in my power to offer You will find her manners beyond anything I can describe and your wit and vivacity I think must be acceptable to her especially when tempered with the silence and respect which her rank will inevitably excite Thus much for my general intention in favour of matrimony it remains to be told why my views were directed towards Longbourn instead of my own neighbourhood where I can assure you there are many amiable young women But the fact is that being as I am to inherit this estate after the death of your honoured father who however may live many years longer I could not satisfy myself without resolving to choose a wife from among his daughters that the loss to them might be as little as possible when the melancholy event takes place which however as I have already said may not be for several years This has been my motive my fair cousin and I flatter myself it will not sink me in your esteem And now nothing remains but for me but to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affection To fortune I am perfectly indifferent and shall make no demand of that nature on your father since I am well aware that it could not be complied with and that one thousand pounds in the four per cents which will not be yours till after your mother 's decease is all that you may ever be entitled to On that head therefore I shall be uniformly silent and you may assure yourself that no ungenerous reproach shall ever pass my lips when we are married {para} It was absolutely necessary to interrupt him now {para} You are too hasty sir she cried You forget that I have made no answer Let me do it without further loss of time Accept my thanks for the compliment you are paying me I am very sensible of the honour of your proposals but it is impossible for me to do otherwise than to decline them {para} I am not now to learn replied Mr Collins with a formal wave of the hand that it is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept when he first applies for their favour and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second or even a third time I am therefore by no means discouraged by what you have just said and shall hope to lead you to the altar ere long {para} Upon my word sir cried Elizabeth your hope is a rather extraordinary one after my declaration I do assure you that I am not one of those young ladies if such young ladies there are who are so daring as to risk their happiness on the chance of being asked a second time I am perfectly serious in my refusal You could not make ME happy and I am convinced that I am the last woman in the world who could make you so Nay were your friend Lady Catherine to know me I am persuaded she would find me in every respect ill qualified for the situation {para} Were it certain that Lady Catherine would think so said Mr Collins very gravely but I cannot imagine that her ladyship would at all disapprove of you And you may be certain when I have the honour of seeing her again I shall speak in the very highest terms of your modesty economy and other amiable qualification {para} Indeed Mr Collins all praise of me will be unnecessary You must give me leave to judge for myself and pay me the compliment of believing what I say I wish you very happy and very rich and by refusing you hand do all in my power to prevent your being otherwise In making me the offer you must have satisfied the delicacy of your feelings with regard to my family and may take possession of Longbourn estate whenever it falls without any self reproach This matter may be considered therefore as finally settled And rising as she thus spoke she would have quitted the room had Mr Collins not thus addressed her {para} When I do myself the honour of speaking to you next on the subject I shall hope to receive a more favourable answer than you have now given me though I am far from accusing you of cruelty at present because I know it to be the established custom of your sex to reject a man on the first application and perhaps you have even now said as much to encourage my suit as would be consistent with the true delicacy of the female character {para} Really Mr Collins cried Elizabeth with some warmth you puzzle me exceedingly If what I have hitherto said can appear to you in the form of encouragement I know not how to express my refusal in such a way as to convince you of its being one {para} You must give me leave to flatter myself my dear cousin that your refusal of my addresses is merely words of course My reasons for believing it are briefly these It does not appear to me that my hand is unworthy your acceptance or that the establishment I can offer would be any other than highly desirable My situation in life my connections with the family of de Bourgh and my relationship to your own are circumstances highly in my favour and you should take it into further consideration that in spite of your manifold attractions it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made you Your portion is unhappily so small that it will in all likelihood undo the effects of your loveliness and amiable qualifications As I must therefore conclude that you are not serious in your rejection of me I shall choose to attribute it to your wish of increasing my love by suspense according to the usual practice of elegant females {para} I do assure you sir that I have no pretensions whatever to that kind of elegance which consists in tormenting a respectable man I would rather be paid the compliment of being believed sincere I thank you again and again for the honour you have done me in your proposals but to accept them is absolutely impossible My feelings in every respect forbid it Can I speak plainer Do not consider me now as an elegant female intending to plague you but as a rational creature speaking the truth from her heart {para} You are uniformly charming cried he with an air of awkward gallantry and I am persuaded that when sanctioned by the express authority of both your excellent parents my proposals will not fail of being acceptable {para} To such perseverance in wilful self deception Elizabeth would make no reply and immediately and in silence withdrew determined that if he persisted in considering her repeated refusals as flattering encouragement to apply to her father whose negative might be uttered in such a manner as to be decisive and whose behavior at least could not be mistaken for the affectation and coquetry of an elegant female {para} Chapter 20 {para} Mr Collins was not left long to the silent contemplation of his successful love for Mrs Bennet having dawdled about in the vestibule to watch for the end of the conference no sooner saw Elizabeth open the door and with quick step pass her towards the staircase than she entered the breakfast room and congratulated both him and herself in warm terms on the happy prospect or their nearer connection Mr Collins received and returned these felicitations with equal pleasure and then proceeded to relate the particulars of their interview with the result of which he trusted he had every reason to be satisfied since the refusal which his cousin had steadfastly given him would naturally flow from her bashful modesty and the genuine delicacy of her character {para} This information however startled Mrs Bennet she would have been glad to be equally satisfied that her daughter had meant to encourage him by protesting against his proposals but she dared not believe it and could not help saying so {para} Bu depend upon it Mr Collins she added that Lizzy shall be brought to reason I will speak to her about it directly She is a very headstrong foolish girl and does not know her own interest but I will MAKE her know it {para} Pardon me for interrupting you madam cried Mr Collins but if she is really headstrong and foolish I know not whether she would altogether be a very desirable wife to a man in my situation who naturally looks for happiness in the marriage state If therefore she actually persists in rejecting my suit perhaps it were better not to force her into accepting me because if liable to such defects of temper she could not contribute much to my felicity {para} Sir you quite misunderstand me said Mrs Bennet alarmed Lizzy is only headstrong in such matters as these In everything else she is as good natured a girl as ever lived I will go directly to Mr Bennet and we shall very soon settle it with her I am sure {para} She would not give him time to reply but hurrying instantly to her husband called out as she entered the library Oh Mr Bennet you are wanted immediately we are all in an uproar You must come and make Lizzy marry Mr Collins for she vows she will not have him and if you do not make haste he will change his mind and not have HER {para} Mr Bennet raised his eyes from his book as she entered and fixed them on her face with a calm unconcern which was not in the least altered by her communication {para} I have not the pleasure of understanding you said he when she had finished her speech Of what are you talking {para} Of Mr Collins and Lizzy Lizzy declares she will not have Mr Collins and Mr Collins begins to say that he will not have Lizzy {para} And what am I to do on the occasion It seems an hopeless business {para} Speak to Lizzy about it yourself Tell her that you insist upon her marrying him {para} Let her be called down She shall hear my opinion {para} Mrs Bennet rang the bell and Miss Elizabeth was summoned to the library {para} Come here child cried her father as she appeared I have sent for you on an affair of importance I understand that Mr Collins has made you an offer of marriage Is it true Elizabeth replied that it was Very well and this offer of marriage you have refused {para} I have sir {para} Very well We now come to the point Your mother insists upon your accepting it Is it not so Mrs Bennet {para} Yes or I will never see her again {para} An unhappy alternative is before you Elizabeth From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents Your mother will never see you again if you do NOT marry Mr Collins and I will never see you again if you DO {para} Elizabeth could not but smile at such a conclusion of such a beginning but Mrs Bennet who had persuaded herself that her husband regarded the affair as she wished was excessively disappointed {para} What do you mean Mr Bennet in talking this way You promised me to INSIST upon her marrying him {para} My dear replied her husband I have two small favours to request First that you will allow me the free use of my understanding on the present occasion and secondly of my room I shall be glad to have the library to myself as soon as may be {para} Not yet however in spite of her disappointment in her husband did Mrs Bennet give up the point She talked to Elizabeth again and again coaxed and threatened her by turns She endeavoured to secure Jane in her interest but Jane with all possible mildness declined interfering and Elizabeth sometimes with real earnestness and sometimes with playful gaiety replied to her attacks Though her manner varied however her determination never did {para} Mr Collins meanwhile was meditating in solitude on what had passed He thought too well of himself to comprehend on what motives his cousin could refuse him and though his pride was hurt he suffered in no other way His regard for her was quite imaginary and the possibility of her deserving her mother 's reproach prevented his feeling any regret {para} While the family were in this confusion Charlotte Lucas came to spend the day with them She was met in the vestibule by Lydia who flying to her cried in a half whisper I am glad you are come for there is such fun here What do you think has happened this morning Mr Collins has made an offer to Lizzy and she will not have him {para} Charlotte hardly had time to answer before they were joined by Kitty who came to tell the same news and no sooner had they entered the breakfast room where Mrs Bennet was alone than she likewise began on the subject calling on Miss Lucas for her compassion and entreating her to persuade her friend Lizzy to comply with the wishes of all her family Pray do my dear Miss Lucas she added in a melancholy tone for nobody is on my side nobody takes part with me I am cruelly used nobody feels for my poor nerves {para} Charlotte 's reply was spared by the entrance of Jane and Elizabeth {para} Aye there she comes continued Mrs Bennet looking as unconcerned as may be and caring no more for us than if we were at York provided she can have her own way But I tell you Miss Lizzy if you take it into your head to go on refusing every offer of marriage in this way you will never get a husband at all and I am sure I do not know who is to maintain you when your father is dead I shall not be able to keep you and so I warn you I have done with you from this very day I told you in the library you know that I should never speak to you again and you will find me as good as my word I have no pleasure in talking to undutiful children Not that I have much pleasure indeed in talking to anybody People who suffer as I do from nervous complaints can have no great inclination for talking Nobody can tell what I suffer But it is always so Those who do not complain are never pitied {para} Her daughters listened in silence to this effusion sensible that any attempt to reason with her or soothe her would only increase the irritation She talked on therefore without interruption from any of them till they were joined by Mr Collins who entered the room with an air more stately than usual and on perceiving whom she said to the girls Now I do insist upon it that you all of you hold your tongues and let me and Mr Collins have a little conversation together {para} Elizabeth passed quietly out of the room Jane and Kitty followed but Lydia stood her ground determined to hear all she could and Charlotte detained first by the civility of Mr Collins whose inquiries after herself and all her family were very minute and then by a little curiosity satisfied herself with walking to the window and pretending not to hear In a doleful voice Mrs Bennet began the projected conversation Oh Mr Collins {para} My dear madam replied he let us be for ever silent on this point Far be it from me he presently continued in a voice that marked his displeasure to resent the behaviour of your daughter Resignation to inevitable evils is the evil duty of us all the peculiar duty of a young man who has been so fortunate as I have been in early preferment and I trust I am resigned Perhaps not the less so from feeling a doubt of my positive happiness had my fair cousin honoured me with her hand for I have often observed that resignation is never so perfect as when the blessing denied begins to lose somewhat of its value in our estimation You will not I hope consider me as showing any disrespect to your family my dear madam by thus withdrawing my pretensions to your daughter 's favour without having paid yourself and Mr Bennet to compliment of requesting you to interpose your authority in my behalf My conduct may I fear be objectionable in having accepted my dismission from your daughter 's lips instead of your own But we are all liable to error I have certainly meant well through the whole affair My object has been to secure an amiable companion for myself with due consideration for the advantage of all your family and if my MANNER has been at all reprehensible I here beg leave to apologise {para} Chapter 21 {para} The discussion of Mr Collins 's offer was now nearly at an end and Elizabeth had only to suffer from the uncomfortable feelings necessarily attending it and occasionally from some peevish allusions of her mother As for the gentleman himself HIS feelings were chiefly expressed not by embarrassment or dejection or by trying to avoid her but by stiffness of manner and resentful silence He scarcely ever spoke to her and the assiduous attentions which he had been so sensible of himself were transferred for the rest of the day to Miss Lucas whose civility in listening to him was a seasonable relief to them all and especially to her friend {para} The morrow produced no abatement of Mrs Bennet 's ill humour or ill health Mr Collins was also in the same state of angry pride Elizabeth had hoped that his resentment might shorten his visit but his plan did not appear in the least affected by it He was always to have gone on Saturday and to Saturday he meant to stay {para} After breakfast the girls walked to Meryton to inquire if Mr Wickham were returned and to lament over his absence from the Netherfield ball He joined them on their entering the town and attended them to their aunt 's where his regret and vexation and the concern of everybody was well talked over To Elizabeth however he voluntarily acknowledged that the necessity of his absence HAD been self imposed {para} I found said he as the time drew near that I had better not meet Mr Darcy that to be in the same room the same party with him for so many hours together might be more than I could bear and that scenes might arise unpleasant to more than myself {para} She highly approved his forbearance and they had leisure for a full discussion of it and for all the commendation which they civilly bestowed on each other as Wickham and another officer walked back with them to Longbourn and during the walk he particularly attended to her His accompanying them was a double advantage she felt all the compliment it offered to herself and it was most acceptable as an occasion of introducing him to her father and mother {para} Soon after their return a letter was delivered to Miss Bennet it came from Netherfield The envelope contained a sheet of elegant little hot pressed paper well covered with a lady 's fair flowing hand and Elizabeth saw her sister 's countenance change as she read it and saw her dwelling intently on some particular passages Jane recollected herself soon and putting the letter away tried to join with her usual cheerfulness in the general conversation but Elizabeth felt an anxiety on the subject which drew off her attention even from Wickham and no sooner had he and he companion taken leave than a glance from Jane invited her to follow her upstairs When they had gained their own room Jane taking out her letter said This is from Caroline Bingley what it contains has surprised me a good deal The whole party have left Netherfield by this time and are on their way to town and without any intention of coming back again You shall hear what she says {para} She then read the first sentence aloud which comprised the information of their having just resolved to follow their brother to town directly and of their meaning to dine in Grosvenor Street where Mr Hurst had a house The next was in these words I do not pretend to regret anything I shall leave in Hertfordshire except your society my dearest friend but we will hope at some future period to enjoy many returns of that delightful intercourse we have known and in the meanwhile may lessen the pain of separation by a very frequent and most unreserved correspondence I depend on you for that To these highflown expressions Elizabeth listened with all the insensibility of distrust and though the suddenness of their removal surprised her she saw nothing in it really to lament it was not to be supposed that their absence from Netherfield would prevent Mr Bingley 's being there and as to the loss of their society she was persuaded that Jane must cease to regard it in the enjoyment of his {para} It is unlucky said she after a short pause that you should not be able to see your friends before they leave the country But may we not hope that the period of future happiness to which Miss Bingley looks forward may arrive earlier than she is aware and that the delightful intercourse you have known as friends will be renewed with yet greater satisfaction as sisters Mr Bingley will not be detained in London by them {para} Caroline decidedly says that none of the party will return into Hertfordshire this winter I will read it to you {para} When my brother left us yesterday he imagined that the business which took him to London might be concluded in three or four days but as we are certain it cannot be so and at the same time convinced that when Charles gets to town he will be in no hurry to leave it again we have determined on following him thither that he may not be obliged to spend his vacant hours in a comfortless hotel Many of my acquaintances are already there for the winter I wish that I could hear that you my dearest friend had any intention of making one of the crowd but of that I despair I sincerely hope your Christmas in Hertfordshire may abound in the gaieties which that season generally brings and that your beaux will be so numerous as to prevent your feeling the loss of the three of whom we shall deprive you {para} It is evident by this added Jane that he comes back no more this winter {para} It is only evident that Miss Bingley does not mean that he SHOULD {para} Why will you think so It must be his own doing He is his own master But you do not know ALL I WILL read you the passage which particularly hurts me I will have no reserves from YOU {para} Mr Darcy is impatient to see his sister and to confess the truth WE are scarcely less eager to meet her again I really do not think Georgiana Darcy has her equal for beauty elegance and accomplishments and the affection she inspires in Louisa and myself is heightened into something still more interesting from the hope we dare entertain of her being hereafter our sister I do not know whether I ever before mentioned to you my feelings on this subject but I will not leave the country without confiding them and I trust you will not esteem them unreasonable My brother admires her greatly already he will have frequent opportunity now of seeing her on the most intimate footing her relations all wish the connection as much as his own and a sister 's partiality is not misleading me I think when I call Charles most capable of engaging any woman 's heart With all these circumstances to favour an attachment and nothing to prevent it am I wrong my dearest Jane in indulging the hope of an event which will secure the happiness of so many {para} What do you think of THIS sentence my dear Lizzy said Jane as she finished it Is it not clear enough Does it not expressly declare that Caroline neither expects nor wishes me to be her sister that she is perfectly convinced of her brother 's indifference and that if she suspects the nature of my feelings for him she means most kindly to put me on my guard Can there be any other opinion on the subject {para} Yes there can for mine is totally different Will you hear it {para} Most willingly {para} You shall have it in a few words Miss Bingley sees that her brother is in love with you and wants him to marry Miss Darcy She follows him to town in hope of keeping him there and tries to persuade you that he does not care about you {para} Jane shook her head {para} Indeed Jane you ought to believe me No one who has ever seen you together can doubt his affection Miss Bingley I am sure cannot She is not such a simpleton Could she have seen half as much love in Mr Darcy for herself she would have ordered her wedding clothes But the case is this We are not rich enough or grand enough for them and she is the more anxious to get Miss Darcy for her brother from the notion that when there has been ONE intermarriage she may have less trouble in achieving a second in which there is certainly some ingenuity and I dare say it would succeed if Miss de Bourgh were out of the way But my dearest Jane you cannot seriously imagine that because Miss Bingley tells you her brother greatly admires Miss Darcy he is in the smallest degree less sensible of YOUR merit than when he took leave of you on Tuesday or that it will be in her power to persuade him that instead of being in love with you he is very much in love with her friend {para} If we thought alike of Miss Bingley replied Jane your representation of all this might make me quite easy But I know the foundation is unjust Caroline is incapable of wilfully deceiving anyone and all that I can hope in this case is that she is deceiving herself {para} That is right You could not have started a more happy idea since you will not take comfort in mine Believe her to be deceived by all means You have now done your duty by her and must fret no longer {para} But my dear sister can I be happy even supposing the best in accepting a man whose sisters and friends are all wishing him to marry elsewhere {para} You must decide for yourself said Elizabeth and if upon mature deliberation you find that the misery of disobliging his two sisters is more than equivalent to the happiness of being his wife I advise you by all means to refuse him {para} How can you talk so said Jane faintly smiling You must know that though I should be exceedingly grieved at their disapprobation I could not hesitate {para} I did not think you would and that being the case I cannot consider your situation with much compassion {para} But if he returns no more this winter my choice will never be required A thousand things may arise in six months {para} The idea of his returning no more Elizabeth treated with the utmost contempt It appeared to her merely the suggestion of Caroline 's interested wishes and she could not for a moment suppose that those wishes however openly or artfully spoken could influence a young man so totally independent of everyone {para} She represented to her sister as forcibly as possible what she felt on the subject and had soon the pleasure of seeing its happy effect Jane 's temper was not desponding and she was gradually led to hope though the diffidence of affection sometimes overcame the hope that Bingley would return to Netherfield and answer every wish of her heart {para} They agreed that Mrs Bennet should only hear of the departure of the family without being alarmed on the score of the gentleman 's conduct but even this partial communication gave her a great deal of concern and she bewailed it as exceedingly unlucky that the ladies should happen to go away just as they were all getting so intimate together After lamenting it however at some length she had the consolation that Mr Bingley would be soon down again and soon dining at Longbourn and the conclusion of all was the comfortable declaration that though he had been invited only to a family dinner she would take care to have two full courses {para} Chapter 22 {para} The Bennets were engaged to dine with the Lucases and again during the chief of the day was Miss Lucas so kind as to listen to Mr Collins Elizabeth took an opportunity of thanking her It keeps him in good humour said she and I am more obliged to you than I can express Charlotte assured her friend of her satisfaction in being useful and that it amply repaid her for the little sacrifice of her time This was very amiable but Charlotte 's kindness extended farther than Elizabeth had any conception of its object was nothing else than to secure her from any return of Mr Collins 's addresses by engaging them towards herself Such was Miss Lucas 's scheme and appearances were so favourable that when they parted at night she would have felt almost secure of success if he had not been to leave Hertfordshire so very soon But here she did injustice to the fire and independence of his character for it led him to escape out of Longbourn House the next morning with admirable slyness and hasten to Lucas Lodge to throw himself at her feet He was anxious to avoid the notice of his cousins from a conviction that if they saw him depart they could not fail to conjecture his design and he was not willing to have the attempt known till its success might be known likewise for though feeling almost secure and with reason for Charlotte had been tolerably encouraging he was comparatively diffident since the adventure of Wednesday His reception however was of the most flattering kind Miss Lucas perceived him from an upper window as he walked towards the house and instantly set out to meet him accidentally in the lane But little had she dared to hope that so much love and eloquence awaited her there {para} In as short a time as Mr Collins 's long speeches would allow everything was settled between them to the satisfaction of both and as they entered the house he earnestly entreated her to name the day that was to make him the happiest of men and though such a solicitation must be waived for the present the lady felt no inclination to trifle with his happiness The stupidity with which he was favoured by nature must guard his courtship from any charm that could make a woman wish for its continuance and Miss Lucas who accepted him solely from the pure and disinterested desire of an establishment cared not how soon that establishment were gained {para} Sir William and Lady Lucas were speedily applied to for their consent and it was bestowed with a most joyful alacrity Mr Collins 's present circumstances made it a most eligible match for their daughter to whom they could give little fortune and his prospects of future wealth were exceedingly fair Lady Lucas began directly to calculate with more interest than the matter had ever excited before how many years longer Mr Bennet was likely to live and Sir William gave it as his decided opinion that whenever Mr Collins should be in possession of the Longbourn estate it would be highly expedient that both he and his wife should make their appearance at St James 's The whole family in short were properly overjoyed on the occasion The younger girls formed hopes of COMING OUT a year or two sooner than they might otherwise have done and the boys were relieved from their apprehension of Charlotte 's dying an old maid Charlotte herself was tolerably composed She had gained her point and had time to consider of it Her reflections were in general satisfactory Mr Collins to be sure was neither sensible nor agreeable his society was irksome and his attachment to her must be imaginary But still he would be her husband Without thinking highly either of men or matrimony marriage had always been her object it was the only provision for well educated young women of small fortune and however uncertain of giving happiness must be their pleasantest preservative from want This preservative she had now obtained and at the age of twenty seven without having ever been handsome she felt all the good luck of it The least agreeable circumstance in the business was the surprise it must occasion to Elizabeth Bennet whose friendship she valued beyond that of any other person Elizabeth would wonder and probably would blame her and though her resolution was not to be shaken her feelings must be hurt by such a disapprobation She resolved to give her the information herself and therefore charged Mr Collins when he returned to Longbourn to dinner to drop no hint of what had passed before any of the family A promise of secrecy was of course very dutifully given but it could not be kept without difficulty for the curiosity excited by his long absence burst forth in such very direct questions on his return as required some ingenuity to evade and he was at the same time exercising great self denial for he was longing to publish his prosperous love {para} As he was to begin his journey too early on the morrow to see any of the family the ceremony of leave taking was performed when the ladies moved for the night and Mrs Bennet with great politeness and cordiality said how happy they should be to see him at Longbourn again whenever his engagements might allow him to visit them {para} My dear madam he replied this invitation is particularly gratifying because it is what I have been hoping to receive and you may be very certain that I shall avail myself of it as soon as possible {para} They were all astonished and Mr Bennet who could by no means wish for so speedy a return immediately said {para} But is there not danger of Lady Catherine 's disapprobation here my good sir You had better neglect your relations than run the risk of offending your patroness {para} My dear sir replied Mr Collins I am particularly obliged to you for this friendly caution and you may depend upon my not taking so material a step without her ladyship 's concurrence {para} You cannot be too much upon your guard Risk anything rather than her displeasure and if you find it likely to be raised by your coming to us again which I should think exceedingly probable stay quietly at home and be satisfied that WE shall take no offence {para} Believe me my dear sir my gratitude is warmly excited by such affectionate attention and depend upon it you will speedily receive from me a letter of thanks for this and for every other mark of your regard during my stay in Hertfordshire As for my fair cousins though my absence may not be long enough to render it necessary I shall now take the liberty of wishing them health and happiness not excepting my cousin Elizabeth {para} With proper civilities the ladies then withdrew all of them equally surprised that he meditated a quick return Mrs Bennet wished to understand by it that he thought of paying his addresses to one of her younger girls and Mary might have been prevailed on to accept him She rated his abilities much higher than any of the others there was a solidity in his reflections which often struck her and though by no means so clever as herself she thought that if encouraged to read and improve himself by such an example as hers he might become a very agreeable companion But on the following morning every hope of this kind was done away Miss Lucas called soon after breakfast and in a private conference with Elizabeth related the event of the day before {para} The possibility of Mr Collins 's fancying herself in love with her friend had once occurred to Elizabeth within the last day or two but that Charlotte could encourage him seemed almost as far from possibility as she could encourage him herself and her astonishment was consequently so great as to overcome at first the bounds of decorum and she could not help crying out {para} Engaged to Mr Collins My dear Charlotte impossible {para} The steady countenance which Miss Lucas had commanded in telling her story gave way to a momentary confusion here on receiving so direct a reproach though as it was no more than she expected she soon regained her composure and calmly replied {para} Why should you be surprised my dear Eliza Do you think it incredible that Mr Collins should be able to procure any woman 's good opinion because he was not so happy as to succeed with you {para} But Elizabeth had now recollected herself and making a strong effort for it was able to assure with tolerable firmness that the prospect of their relationship was highly grateful to her and that she wished her all imaginable happiness {para} I see what you are feeling replied Charlotte You must be surprised very much surprised so lately as Mr Collins was wishing to marry you But when you have had time to think it over I hope you will be satisfied with what I have done I amd not romantic you know I never was I ask only a comfortable home and considering Mr Collins 's character connection and situation in life I am convinced that my chance of happiness with him is as fair as most people can boast on entering the marriage state {para} Elizabeth quietly answered Undoubtedly and after an awkward pause they returned to the rest of the family Charlotte did not stay much longer and Elizabeth was then left to reflect on what she had heard It was a long time before she became at all reconciled to the idea of so unsuitable a match The strangeness of Mr Collins 's making two offers of marriage within three days was nothing in comparison of his being now accepted She had always felt that Charlotte 's opinion of matrimony was not exactly like her own but she had not supposed it to be possible that when called into action she would have sacrificed every better feeling to worldly advantage Charlotte the wife of Mr Collins was a most humiliating picture And to the pang of a friend disgracing herself and sunk in her esteem was added the distressing conviction that it was impossible for that friend to be tolerably happy in the lot she had chosen {para} Chapter 23 {para} Elizabeth was sitting with her mother and sisters reflecting on what she had heard and doubting whether she was authorised to mention it when Sir William Lucas himself appeared sent by his daughter to announce her engagement to the family With many compliments to them and much self gratulation on the prospect of a connection between the houses he unfolded the matter to an audience not merely wondering but incredulous for Mrs Bennet with more perseverance than politeness protested he must be entirely mistaken and Lydia always unguarded and often uncivil boisterously exclaimed {para} Good Lord Sir William how can you tell such a story Do not you know that Mr Collins wants to marry Lizzy {para} Nothing less than the complaisance of a courtier could have borne without anger such treatment but Sir William 's good breeding carried him through it all and though he begged leave to be positive as to the truth of his information he listened to all their impertinence with the most forbearing courtesy {para} Elizabeth feeling it incumbent on her to relieve him from so unpleasant a situation now put herself forward to confirm his account by mentioning her prior knowledge of it from Charlotte herself and endeavoured to put a stop to the exclamations of her mother and sisters by the earnestness of her congratulations to Sir William in which she was readily joined by Jane and by making a variety of remarks on the happiness that might be expected from the match the excellent character of Mr Collins and the convenient distance of Hunsford from London {para} Mrs Bennet was in fact too much overpowered to say a great deal while Sir William remained but no sooner had he left them than her feelings found a rapid vent In the first place she persisted in disbelieving the whole of the matter secondly she was very sure that Mr Collins had been taken in thirdly she trusted that they would never be happy together and fourthly that the match might be broken off Two inferences however were plainly deduced from the whole one that Elizabeth was the real cause of the mischief and the other that she herself had been barbarously misused by them all and on these two points she principally dwelt during the rest of the day Nothing could console and nothing could appease her Nor did that day wear out her resentment A week elapsed before she could see Elizabeth without scolding her a month passed away before she could speak to Sir William or Lady Lucas without being rude and many months were gone before she could at all forgive her daughter {para} Mr Bennet 's emotions were much more tranquil on the occasion and such as he did experience he pronounced to be of a most agreeable sort for it gratified him he said to discover that Charlotte Lucas whom he had been used to think tolerably sensible was as foolish as his wife and more foolish than his daughter {para} Jane confessed herself a little surprised at the match but she said less of her astonishment than of her earnest desire for their happiness nor could Elizabeth persuade her to consider it as improbable Kitty and Lydia were far from envying Miss Lucas for Mr Collins was only a clergyman and it affected them in no other way than as a piece of news to spread at Meryton {para} Lady Lucas could not be insensible of triumph on being able to retort on Mrs Bennet the comfort of having a daughter well married and she called at Longbourn rather oftener than usual to say how happy she was though Mrs Bennet 's sour looks and ill natured remarks might have been enough to drive happiness away {para} Between Elizabeth and Charlotte there was a restraint which kept them mutually silent on the subject and Elizabeth felt persuaded that no real confidence could ever subsist between them again Her disappointment in Charlotte made her turn with fonder regard to her sister of whose rectitude and delicacy she was sure her opinion could never be shaken and for whose happiness she grew daily more anxious as Bingley had now been gone a week and nothing more was heard of his return {para} Jane had sent Caroline an early answer to her letter and was counting the days till she might reasonably hope to hear again The promised letter of thanks from Mr Collins arrived on Tuesday addressed to their father and written with all the solemnity of gratitude which a twelvemonth 's abode in the family might have prompted After discharging his conscience on that head he proceeded to inform them with many rapturous expressions of his happiness in having obtained the affection of their amiable neighbour Miss Lucas and then explained that it was merely with the view of enjoying her society that he had been so ready to close with their kind wish of seeing him again at Longbourn whither he hoped to be able to return on Monday fortnight for Lady Catherine he added so heartily approved his marriage that she wished it to take place as soon as possible which he trusted would be an unanswerable argument with his amiable Charlotte to name an early day for making him the happiest of men {para} Mr Collins 's return into Hertfordshire was no longer a matter of pleasure to Mrs Bennet On the contrary she was as much disposed to complain of it as her husband It was very strange that he should come to Longbourn instead of to Lucas Lodge it was also very inconvenient and exceedingly troublesome She hated having visitors in the house while her health was so indifferent and lovers were of all people the most disagreeable Such were the gentle murmurs of Mrs Bennet and they gave way only to the greater distress of Mr Bingley 's continued absence {para} Neither Jane nor Elizabeth were comfortable on this subject Day after day passed away without bringing any other tidings of him than the report which shortly prevailed in Meryton of his coming no more to Netherfield the whole winter a report which highly incensed Mrs Bennet and which she never failed to contradict as a most scandalous falsehood {para} Even Elizabeth began to fear not that Bingley was indifferent but that his sisters would be successful in keeping him away Unwilling as she was to admit an idea so destructive of Jane 's happiness and so dishonorable to the stability of her lover she could not prevent its frequently occurring The united efforts of his two unfeeling sisters and of his overpowering friend assisted by the attractions of Miss Darcy and the amusements of London might be too much she feared for the strength of his attachment {para} As for Jane HER anxiety under this suspense was of course more painful than Elizabeth 's but whatever she felt she was desirous of concealing and between herself and Elizabeth therefore the subject was never alluded to But as no such delicacy restrained her mother an hour seldom passed in which she did not talk of Bingley express her impatience for his arrival or even require Jane to confess that if he did not come back she would think herself very ill used It needed all Jane 's steady mildness to bear these attacks with tolerable tranquillity {para} Mr Collins returned most punctually on Monday fortnight but his reception at Longbourn was not quite so gracious as it had been on his first introduction He was too happy however to need much attention and luckily for the others the business of love making relieved them from a great deal of his company The chief of every day was spent by him at Lucas Lodge and he sometimes returned to Longbourn only in time to make an apology for his absence before the family went to bed {para} Mrs Bennet was really in a most pitiable state The very mention of anything concerning the match threw her into an agony of ill humour and wherever she went she was sure of hearing it talked of The sight of Miss Lucas was odious to her As her successor in that house she regarded her with jealous abhorrence Whenever Charlotte came to see them she concluded her to be anticipating the hour of possession and whenever she spoke in a low voice to Mr Collins was convinced that they were talking of the Longbourn estate and resolving to turn herself and her daughters out of the house as soon as Mr Bennet were dead She complained bitterly of all this to her husband {para} Indeed Mr Bennet said she it is very hard to think that Charlotte Lucas should ever be mistress of this house that I should be forced to make way for HER and live to see her take her place in it {para} My dear do not give way to such gloomy thoughts Let us hope for better things Let us flatter ourselves that I may be the survivor {para} This is not very consoling to Mrs Bennet and therefore instead of making any answer she went on as before {para} I cannot bear to think that they should have all this estate If it was not for the entail I should not mind it {para} What should not you mind {para} I should not mind anything at all {para} Let us be thankful that you are preserved from a state of such insensibility {para} I never can be thankful Mr Bennet for anything about the entail How anyone could have the conscience to entail away an estate from one 's own daughters I cannot understand and all for the sake of Mr Collins too Why should HE have it more than anybody else {para} I leave it to yourself to determine said Mr Bennet {para} Chapter 24 {para} Miss Bingley 's letter arrived and put an end to doubt The very first sentence conveyed the assurance of their being all settled in London for the winter and concluded with her brother 's regret at not having had time to pay his respects to his friends in Hertfordshire before he left the country {para} Hope was over entirely over and when Jane could attend to the rest of the letter she found little except the professed affection of the writer that could give her any comfort Miss Darcy 's praise occupied the chief of it Her many attractions were again dwelt on and Caroline boasted joyfully of their increasing intimacy and ventured to predict the accomplishment of the wishes which had been unfolded in her former letter She wrote also with great pleasure of her brother 's being an inmate of Mr Darcy 's house and mentioned with raptures some plans of the latter with regard to new furniture {para} Elizabeth to whom Jane very soon communicated the chief of all this heard it in silent indignation Her heart was divided between concern for her sister and resentment against all others To Caroline 's assertion of her brother 's being partial to Miss Darcy she paid no credit That he was really fond of Jane she doubted no more than she had ever done and much as she had always been disposed to like him she could not think without anger hardly without contempt on that easiness of temper that want of proper resolution which now made him the slave of his designing friends and led him to sacrifice of his own happiness to the caprice of their inclination Had his own happiness however been the only sacrifice he might have been allowed to sport with it in whatever manner he thought best but her sister 's was involved in it as she thought he must be sensible himself It was a subject in short on which reflection would be long indulged and must be unavailing She could think of nothing else and yet whether Bingley 's regard had really died away or were suppressed by his friends interference whether he had been aware of Jane 's attachment or whether it had escaped his observation whatever were the case though her opinion of him must be materially affected by the difference her sister 's situation remained the same her peace equally wounded {para} A day or two passed before Jane had courage to speak of her feelings to Elizabeth but at last on Mrs Bennet 's leaving them together after a longer irritation than usual about Netherfield and its master she could not help saying {para} Oh that my dear mother had more command over herself She can have no idea of the pain she gives me by her continual reflections on him But I will not repine It cannot last long He will be forgot and we shall all be as we were before {para} Elizabeth looked at her sister with incredulous solicitude but said nothing {para} You doubt me cried Jane slightly colouring indeed you have no reason He may live in my memory as the most amiable man of my acquaintance but that is all I have nothing either to hope or fear and nothing to reproach him with Thank God I have not THAT pain A little time therefore I shall certainly try to get the better {para} With a stronger voice she soon added I have this comfort immediately that it has not been more than an error of fancy on my side and that it has done no harm to anyone but myself {para} My dear Jane exclaimed Elizabeth you are too good Your sweetness and disinterestedness are really angelic I do not know what to say to you I feel as if I had never done you justice or loved you as you deserve {para} Miss Bennet eagerly disclaimed all extraordinary merit and threw back the praise on her sister 's warm affection {para} Nay said Elizabeth this is not fair YOU wish to think all the world respectable and are hurt if I speak ill of anybody I only want to think YOU perfect and you set yourself against it Do not be afraid of my running into any excess of my encroaching on your privilege of universal good will You need not There are few people whom I really love and still fewer of whom I think well The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense I have met with two instances lately one I will not mention the other is Charlotte 's marriage It is unaccountable In every view it is unaccountable {para} My dear Lizzy do not give way to such feelings as these They will ruin your happiness You do not make allowance enough for difference of situation and temper Consider Mr Collins 's respectability and Charlotte 's steady prudent character Remember that she is one of a large family that as to fortune it is a most eligible match and be ready to believe for everybody 's sake that she may feel something like regard and esteem for our cousin {para} To oblige you I would try to believe almost anything but no one else could be benefited by such a belief as this for were I persuaded that Charlotte had any regard for him I should only think worse of her understanding than I now do of her heart My dear Jane Mr Collins is a conceited pompous narrow minded silly man you know he is as well as I do and you must feel as well as I do that the woman who married him cannot have a proper way of thinking You shall not defend her though it is Charlotte Lucas You shall not for the sake of one individual change the meaning of principle and integrity nor endeavour to persuade yourself or me that selfishness is prudence and insensibility of danger security for happiness {para} I musty think your language too strong in speaking of both replied Jane and I hope you will be convinced of it by seeing them happy together But enough of this You alluded to something else You mentioned TWO instances I cannot misunderstand you but I entreat you dear Lizzy not to pain me by thinking THAT PERSON to blame and saying your opinion of him is sunk We must not be so ready to fancy ourselves intentionally injured We must not expect a lively young man to be always so guarded and circumspect It is very often nothing but our own vanity that deceives us Women fancy admiration means more than it does {para} And men take care that they should {para} If it is designedly done they cannot be justified but I have no idea of there being so much design in the world as some persons imagine {para} I am far from attributing any part of Mr Bingley 's conduct to design said Elizabeth but without scheming to do wrong or to make others unhappy there may be error and there may be misery Thoughtlessness want of attention to other people 's feelings and want of resolution will do the business {para} And do you impute it to either of those {para} Yes to the last But if I go on I shall displease you by saying what I think of persons you esteem Stop me whilst you can {para} You persist then in supposing his sisters influence him {para} Yes in conjunction with his friend {para} I cannot believe it Why should they try to influence him They can only wish his happiness and if he is attached to me no other woman can secure it {para} Your first position is false They may wish many things besides his happiness they may wish his increase of wealth and consequence they may wish him to marry a girl who has all the importance of money great connections and pride {para} Beyond a doubt they do wish him to choose Miss Darcy replied Jane but this may be from better feelings than you are supposing They have known her much longer than they have known me no wonder if they love her better But whatever may be their own wishes it is very unlikely they should have opposed their brother 's What sister would think herself at liberty to do it unless there were something very objectionable If they believed him attached to me they would not try to part us if he were so they could not succeed By supposing such an affection you make everybody acting unnaturally and wrong and me most unhappy Do not distress me by the idea I am not ashamed of having been mistaken or at least it is light it is nothing in comparison of what I should feel in thinking ill of him or his sisters Let me take it in the best light in the light in which it may be understood {para} Elizabeth could not oppose such a wish and from this time Mr Bingley 's name was scarcely ever mentioned between them {para} Mrs Bennet still continued to wonder and repine at his returning no more and though a day seldom passed in which Elizabeth did not account for it clearly there was little chance of her ever considering it with less perplexity Her daughter endeavoured to convince her of what she did not believe herself that his attentions to Jane had been merely the effect of a common and transient liking which ceased when he saw her no more but though the probability of the statement was admitted at the time she had the same story to repeat every day Mrs Bennet 's best comfort was that Mr Bingley must be down again in the summer {para} Mr Bennet treated the matter differently So Lizzy said he one day your sister is crossed in love I find I congratulate her Next to being married a girl likes to be crossed a little in love now and then It is something to think of and it gives her a sort of distinction among her companions When is your turn to come You will hardly bear to be long outdone by Jane Now is your time Here are officers enough in Meryton to disappoint all the young ladies in the country Let Wickham be your man He is a pleasant fellow and would jilt you creditably {para} Thank you sir but a less agreeable man would satisfy me We must not all expect Jane 's good fortune {para} True said Mr Bennet but it is a comfort to think that whatever of that kind may befall you you have an affectionate mother who will make the most of it {para} Mr Wickham 's society was of material service in dispelling the gloom which the late perverse occurrences had thrown on many of the Longbourn family They saw him often and to his other recommendations was now added that of general unreserve The whole of what Elizabeth had already heard his claims on Mr Darcy and all that he had suffered from him was now openly acknowledged and publicly canvassed and everybody was pleased to know how much they had always disliked Mr Darcy before they had known anything of the matter {para} Miss Bennet was the only creature who could suppose there might be any extenuating circumstances in the case unknown to the society of Hertfordshire her mild and steady candour always pleaded for allowances and urged the possibility of mistakes but by everybody else Mr Darcy was condemned as the worst of men {para} Chapter 25 {para} After a week spent in professions of love and schemes of felicity Mr Collins was called from his amiable Charlotte by the arrival of Saturday The pain of separation however might be alleviated on his side by preparations for the reception of his bride as he had reason to hope that shortly after his return into Hertfordshire the day would be fixed that was to make him the happiest of men He took leave of his relations at Longbourn with as much solemnity as before wished his fair cousins health and happiness again and promised their father another letter of thanks {para} On the following Monday Mrs Bennet had the pleasure of receiving her brother and his wife who came as usual to spend the Christmas at Longbourn Mr Gardiner was a sensible gentlemanlike man greatly superior to his sister as well by nature as education The Netherfield ladies would have had difficulty in believing that a man who lived by trade and within view of his own warehouses could have been so well bred and agreeable Mrs Gardiner who was several years younger than Mrs Bennet and Mrs Phillips was an amiable intelligent elegant woman and a great favourite with all her Longbourn nieces Between the two eldest and herself especially there subsisted a particular regard They had frequently been staying with her in town {para} The first part of Mrs Gardiner 's business on her arrival was to distribute her presents and describe the newest fashions When this was done she had a less active part to play It became her turn to listen Mrs Bennet had many grievances to relate and much to complain of They had all been very ill used since she last saw her sister Two of her girls had been upon the point of marriage and after all there was nothing in it {para} I do not blame Jane she continued for Jane would have got Mr Bingley if she could But Lizzy Oh sister It is very hard to think that she might have been Mr Collins 's wife by this time had it not been for her own perverseness He made her an offer in this very room and she refused him The consequence of it is that Lady Lucas will have a daughter married before I have and that the Longbourn estate is just as much entailed as ever The Lucases are very artful people indeed sister They are all for what they can get I am sorry to say it of them but so it is It makes me very nervous and poorly to be thwarted so in my own family and to have neighbours who think of themselves before anybody else However your coming just at this time is the greatest of comforts and I am very glad to hear what you tell us of long sleeves {para} Mrs Gardiner to whom the chief of this news had been given before in the course of Jane and Elizabeth 's correspondence with her made her sister a slight answer and in compassion to her nieces turned the conversation {para} When alone with Elizabeth afterwards she spoke more on the subject It seems likely to have been a desirable match for Jane said she I am sorry it went off But these things happen so often A young man such as you describe Mr Bingley so easily falls in love with a pretty girl for a few weeks and when accident separates them so easily forgets her that these sort of inconsistencies are very frequent {para} An excellent consolation in its way said Elizabeth but it will not do for US We do not suffer by accident It does not often happen that the interference of friends will persuade a young man of independent fortune to think no more of a girl whom he was violently in love with only a few days before {para} But that expression of violently in love is so hackneyed so doubtful so indefinite that it gives me very little idea It is as often applied to feelings which arise from a half hour 's acquaintance as to a real strong attachment Pray how VIOLENT WAS Mr Bingley 's love {para} I never saw a more promising inclination he was growing quite inattentive to other people and wholly engrossed by her Every time they met it was more decided and remarkable At his own ball he offended two or three young ladies by not asking them to dance and I spoke to him twice myself without receiving an answer Could there be finer symptoms Is not general incivility the very essence of love {para} Oh yes of that kind of love which I suppose him to have felt Poor Jane I am sorry for her because with her disposition she may not get over it immediately It had better have happened to YOU Lizzy you would have laughed yourself out of it sooner But do you think she would be prevailed upon to go back with us Change of scene might be of service and perhaps a little relief from home may be as useful as anything {para} Elizabeth was exceedingly pleased with this proposal and felt persuaded of her sister 's ready acquiescence {para} I hope added Mrs Gardiner that no consideration with regard to this young man will influence her We live in so different a part of town all our connections are so different and as you well know we go out so little that it is very improbable that they should meet at all unless he really comes to see her {para} And THAT is quite impossible for he is now in the custody of his friend and Mr Darcy would no more suffer him to call on Jane in such a part of London My dear aunt how could you think of it Mr Darcy may perhaps have HEARD of such a place as Gracechurch Street but he would hardly think a month 's ablution enough to cleanse him from its impurities were he once to enter it and depend upon it Mr Bingley never stirs without him {para} So much the better I hope they will not meet at all But does not Jane correspond with his sister SHE will not be able to help calling {para} She will drop the acquaintance entirely {para} But in spite of the certainty in which Elizabeth affected to place this point as well as the still more interesting one of Bingley 's being withheld from seeing Jane she felt a solicitude on the subject which convinced her on examination that she did not consider it entirely hopeless It was possible and sometimes she thought it probable that his affection might be reanimated and the influence of his friends successfully combated by the more natural influence of Jane 's attractions {para} Miss Bennet accepted her aunt 's invitation with pleasure and the Bingleys were no otherwise in her thoughts at the same time than as she hoped by Caroline 's not living in the same house with her brother she might occasionally spend a morning with her without any danger of seeing him {para} The Gardiners stayed a week at Longbourn and what with the Plillipses the Lucases and the officers there was not a day without its engagement Mrs Bennet had so carefully provided for the entertainment of her brother and sister that they did not once sit down to a family dinner When the engagement was for home some of the officers always made part of it of which officers Mr Wickham was sure to be one and on these occasion Mrs Gardiner rendered suspicious by Elizabeth 's warm commendation narrowly observed them both Without supposing them from what she saw to be very seriously in love their preference of each other was plain enough to make her a little uneasy and she resolved to speak to Elizabeth on the subject before she left Hertfordshire and represent to her the imprudence of encouraging such an attachment {para} To Mrs Gardiner Wickham had one means of affording pleasure unconnected with his general powers About ten or a dozen years ago before her marriage she had spent a considerable time in that very part of Derbyshire to which he belonged They had therefore many acquaintances in common and though Wickham had been little there since the death of Darcy 's father it was yet in his power to give her fresher intelligence of her former friends than she had been in the way of procuring {para} Mrs Gardiner had seen Pemberly and known the late Mr Darcy by character perfectly well Here consequently was an inexhaustible subject of discourse In comparing her recollection of Pemberly with the minute description which Wickham could give and in bestowing her tribute of praise on the character of its late possessor she was delighting both him and herself On being made acquainted with the present Mr Darcy 's treatment of him she tried to remember some of that gentleman 's reputed disposition when quite a lad which might agree with it and was confident at last that she recollected having heard Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy formerly spoken of as a very proud ill natured boy {para} Chapter 26 {para} Mrs Gardiner 's caution to Elizabeth was punctually and kindly given on the first favourable opportunity of speaking to her alone after honestly telling her what she thought she thus went on {para} You are too sensible a girl Lizzy to fall in love merely because you are warned against it and therefore I am not afraid of speaking openly Seriously I would have you be on your guard Do not involve yourself or endeavour to involve him in an affection which the want of fortune would make so very imprudent I have nothing to say against HIM he is a most interesting young man and if he had the fortune he ought to have I should think you could not do better But as it is you must not let your fancy run away with you You have sense and we all expect you to use it Your father would depend on YOUR resolution and good conduct I am sure You must not disappoint your father {para} My dear aunt this is being serious indeed {para} Yes and I hope to engage you to be serious likewise {para} Well then you need not be under any alarm I will take care of myself and of Mr Wickham too He shall not be in love with me if I can prevent it {para} Elizabeth you are not serious now {para} I beg your pardon I will try again At present I am not in love with Mr Wickham no I certainly am not But he is beyond all comparison the most agreeable man I ever saw and if he becomes really attached to me I believe it will be better that he should not I see the imprudence of it Oh THAT abominable Mr Darcy My father 's opinion of me does me the greatest honour and I should be miserable to forfeit it My father however is partial to Mr Wickham In short my dear aunt I should be very sorry to be the means of making any of you unhappy but since we see every day that where there is affection young people are seldom withheld by immediate want of fortune from entering into engagements with each other how can I promise to be wiser than so many of my fellow creatures if I am tempted or how am I even to know that it would be wisdom to resist All that I can promise you therefore is not to be in a hurry I will not be in a hurry to believe myself his first object When I am in company with him I will not be wishing In short I will do my best {para} Perhaps it will be as well if you discourage his coming here so very often At least you should not REMIND you mother of inviting him {para} As I did the other day said Elizabeth with a conscious smile very true it will be wise in me to refrain from THAT But do not imagine that he is always here so often It is on your account that he has been so frequently invited this week You know my mother 's ideas as to the necessity of constant company for her friends But really and upon my honour I will try to do what I think to be the wisest and now I hope you are satisfied {para} Her aunt assured her that she was and Elizabeth having thanked her for the kindness of her hints they parted a wonderful instance of advice being given on such a point without being resented {para} Mr Collins returned into Hertfordshire soon after it had been quitted by the Gardiners and Jane but as he took up his abode with the Lucases his arrival was no great inconvenience to Mrs Bennet His marriage was now fast approaching and she was at length so far resigned as to think it inevitable and even repeatedly to say in an ill natured tone that she WISHED they might be happy Thursday was to be the wedding day and on Wednesday Miss Lucas paid her farewell visit and when she rose to take leave Elizabeth ashamed of her mother 's ungracious and reluctant good wishes and sincerely affected herself accompanied her out of the room As they went downstairs together Charlotte said {para} I shall depend on hearing from you very often Eliza {para} THAT you certainly shall {para} And I have another favour to ask you Will you come and see me {para} We shall often meet I hope in Hertfordshire {para} I am not likely to leave Kent for some time Promise me therefore to come to Hunsford {para} Elizabeth could not refuse though she foresaw little pleasure in the visit {para} My father and Maria are coming to me in March added Charlotte and I hope you will consent to be of the party Indeed Eliza you will be as welcome as either of them {para} The wedding took place the bride and bridegroom set off for Kent from the church door and everybody had as much to say or to hear on the subject as usual Elizabeth soon heard from her friend and their correspondence was as regular and frequent as it had ever been that it should be equally unreserved was impossible Elizabeth could never address her without feeling that all the comfort of intimacy was over and though determined not to slacken as a correspondent it was for the sake of what had been rather than what was Charlotte 's first letters were received with a good deal of eagerness there could not but be curiosity to know how she would speak of her new home how she would like Lady Catherine and how happy she would dare pronounce herself to be though when the letters were read Elizabeth felt that Charlotte expressed herself on every point exactly as she might have foreseen She wrote cheerfully seemed surrounded with comforts and mentioned nothing which she could not praise The house furniture neighbourhood and roads were all to her taste and Lady Catherine 's behaviour was most friendly and obliging It was Mr Collins 's picture of Hunsford and Rosings rationally softened and Elizabeth perceived that she must wait for her own visit there to know the rest {para} Jane had already written a few lines to her sister to announce their safe arrival in London and when she wrote again Elizabeth hoped it would be in her power to say something of the Bingleys {para} Her impatience for this second letter was as well rewarded as impatience generally is Jane had been a week in town without either seeing or hearing from Caroline She accounted for it however by supposing that her last letter to her friend from Longbourn had by some accident been lost {para} My aunt she continued is going to morrow into that part of the town and I shall take the opportunity of calling in Grosvenor Street {para} She wrote again when the visit was paid and she had seen Miss Bingley I did not think Caroline in spirits were her words but she was very glad to see me and reproached me for giving her no notice of my coming to London I was right therefore my last letter had never reached her I inquired after their brother of course He was well but so much engaged with Mr Darcy that they scarcely ever saw him I found that Miss Darcy was expected to dinner I wish I could see her My visit was not long as Caroline and Mrs Hurst were going out I dare say I shall see them soon here {para} Elizabeth shook her head over this letter It convinced her that accident only could discover to Mr Bingley her sister 's being in town {para} Four weeks passed away and Jane saw nothing of him She endeavoured to persuade herself that she did not regret it but she could no longer be blind to Miss Bingley 's inattention After waiting at home every morning for a fortnight and inventing every evening a fresh excuse for her the visitor did at last appear but the shortness of her stay and yet more the alteration of her manner would allow Jane to deceive herself no longer The letter which she wrote on this occasion to her sister will prove what she felt {para} My dearest Lizzy will I am sure be incapable of triumphing in her better judgement at my expense when I confess myself to have been entirely deceived in Miss Bingley 's regard for me But my dear sister though the event has proved you right do not think me obstinate if I still assert that considering what her behaviour was my confidence was as natural as your suspicion I do not at all comprehend her reason for wishing to be intimate with me but if the same circumstances were to happen again I am sure I should be deceived again Caroline did not return my visit till yesterday and not a note not a line did I receive in the meantime When she did come it was very evident that she had no pleasure in it she made a slight formal apology for not calling before said not a word of wishing to see me again and was in every respect so altered a creature that when she went away I was perfectly resolved to continue the acquaintance no longer I pity though I cannot help blaming her She was very wrong in singling me out as she did I can safely say that every advance to intimacy began on her side But I pity her because she must feel that she has been acting wrong and because I am very sure that anxiety for her brother is the cause of it I need not explain myself farther and though WE know this anxiety to be quite needless yet if she feels it it will easily account for her behaviour to me and so deservedly dear as he is to his sister whatever anxiety she must feel on his behalf is natural and amiable I cannot but wonder however at her having any such fears now because if he had at all cared about me we must have met long ago He knows of my being in town I am certain from something she said herself and yet it would seem by her manner of talking as if she wanted to persuade herself that he is really partial to Miss Darcy I cannot understand it If I were not afraid of judging harshly I should be almost tempted to say that there is a strong appearance of duplicity in all this But I will endeavour to banish every painful thought and think only of what will make me happy your affection and the invariable kindness of my dear uncle and aunt Let me hear from you very soon Miss Bingley said something of his never returning to Netherfield again of giving up the house but not with any certainty We had better not mention it I am extremely glad that you have such pleasant accounts from our friends at Hunsford Pray go to see them with Sir William and Maria I am sure you will be very comfortable there Yours etc {para} This letter gave Elizabeth some pain but her spirits returned as she considered that Jane wold no longer be duped by the sister at least All expectation from the brother was now absolutely over She would not even wish for a renewal of his attentions His character sunk on every review of it and as a punishment for him as well as a possible advantage to Jane she seriously hoped he might really soon marry Mr Darcy 's sister as by Wickham 's account she would make him abundantly regret what he had thrown away {para} Mrs Gardiner about this time reminded Elizabeth of her promise concerning that gentleman and required information and Elizabeth had such to send as might rather give contentment to her aunt than to herself His apparent partiality had subsided his attentions were over he was the admirer of some one else Elizabeth was watchful enough to see it all but she could see it and write of it without material pain Her heart had been but slightly touched and her vanity was satisfied with believing that SHE would have been his only choice had fortune permitted it The sudden acquisition of ten thousand pounds was the most remarkable charm of the young lady to whom he was now rendering himself agreeable but Elizabeth less clear sighted perhaps in this case than in Charlotte 's did not quarrel with him for his wish of independence Nothing on the contrary could be more natural and while able to suppose that it cost him a few struggle to relinquish her she was ready to allow it a wise and desirable measure for both and could very sincerely wish him happy {para} All this was acknowledged to Mrs Gardiner and after relating the circumstances she thus went on I am now convinced my dear aunt that I have never been much in love for had I really experiences that pure and elevating passion I should at present detest his very name and wish him all manner of evil But my feelings are not only cordial towards HIM they are even impartial towards Miss King I cannot find out that I hate her at all or that I am in the least unwilling to think her a very good sort of girl There can be no love in all this My watchfulness has been effectual and though I certainly should be a more interesting object to all my acquaintances were I distractedly in love with him I cannot say that I regret my comparative insignificance Importance may sometimes be purchased too dearly Kitty and Lydia take his defection much more to heart than I do They are young in the ways of the world and not yet open to the mortifying conviction that handsome young men must have something to live on as well as the plain {para} Chapter 27 {para} With no greater events than these in the Longbourn family and otherwise diversified by little beyond the walks to Meryton sometimes dirty and sometimes cold did January and February pass away March was to take Elizabeth to Hunsford She had not at first thought very seriously of going thither but Charlotte she soon found was depending on the plan and she gradually learned to consider it herself with greater pleasure as well as greater certainty Absence had increased her desire of seeing Charlotte again and weakened her disgust of Mr Collins There was novelty in the scheme and as with such a mother and such uncompanionable sisters home could not be faultless a little change was not unwelcome for its own sake The journey would moreover give her a peep at Jane and in short as the time drew near she would have been very sorry for any delay Everything however went on smoothly and was finally settled according to Charlotte 's first sketch She was to accompany Sir William and his second daughter The improvement of spending a night in London was added in time and the plan became perfect as plan could be {para} The only pain was in leaving her father who would certainly miss her and who when it came to the point so little liked her going that he told her to write to him and almost promised to answer her letter {para} The farewell between herself and Mr Wickham was perfectly friendly on his side even more His present pursuit could not make him forget that Elizabeth had been the first to excite and to deserve his attention the first to listen and to pity the first to be admired and in his manner of bidding her adieu wishing her every enjoyment reminding her of what she was to expect in Lady Catherine de Bourgh and trusting their opinion of her their opinion of everybody would always coincide there was a solicitude an interest which she felt must ever attach her to him with a most sincere regard and she parted from him convinced that whether married or single he must always be her model of the amiable and pleasing {para} Her fellow travellers the next day were not of a kind to make her think him less agreeable Sir William Lucas and his daughter Maria a good humoured girl but as empty headed as himself had nothing to say that could be worth hearing and were listened to with about as much delight as the rattle of the chaise Elizabeth loved absurdities but she had known Sir William 's too long He could tell her nothing new of the wonders of his presentation and knighthood and his civilities were worn out like his information {para} It was a journey of only twenty four miles and they began it so early as to be in Gracechurch Street by noon As they drove to Mr Gardiner 's door Jane was at a drawing room window watching their arrival when they entered the passage she was there to welcome them and Elizabeth looking earnestly in her face was pleased to see it healthful and lovely as ever On the stairs were a troop of little boys and girls whose eagerness for their cousin 's appearance would not allow them to wait in the drawing room and whose shyness as they had not seen her for a twelvemonth prevented their coming lower All was joy and kindness The day passed most pleasantly away the morning in bustle and shopping and the evening at one of the theatres {para} Elizabeth then contrived to sit by her aunt Their first object was her sister and she was more grieved than astonished to hear in reply to her minute inquiries that though Jane always struggled to support her spirits there were periods of dejection It was reasonable however to hope that they would not continue long Mrs Gardiner gave her the particulars also of Miss Bingley 's visit in Gracechurch Street and repeated conversations occurring at different times between Jane and herself which proved that the former had from her heart given up the acquaintance {para} Mrs Gardiner then rallied her niece on Wickham 's desertion and complimented her on bearing it so well {para} But my dear Elizabeth she added what sort of girl is Miss King I should be sorry to think our friend mercenary {para} Pray my dear aunt what is the difference in matrimonial affairs between the mercenary and the prudent motive Where does discretion end and avarice begin Last Christmas you were afraid of his marrying me because it would be imprudent and now because he is trying to get a girl with only ten thousand pounds you want to find out that he is mercenary {para} If you will only tell me what sort of girl Miss King is I shall know what to think {para} She is a very good kind of girl I believe I know no harm of her {para} But he paid her not the smallest attention till her grandfather 's death made her mistress of this fortune {para} No what should he If it were not allowable for him to gain MY affections because I had no money what occasion could there be for making love to a girl whom he did not care about and who was equally poor {para} But there seems an indelicacy in directing his attentions towards her so soon after this event {para} A man in distressed circumstances has not time for all those elegant decorums which other people may observe If SHE does not object to it why should WE {para} HER not objecting does not justify HIM It only shows her being deficient in something herself sense or feeling {para} Well cried Elizabeth have it as you choose HE shall be mercenary and SHE shall be foolish {para} No Lizzy that is what I do NOT choose I should be sorry you know to think ill of a young man who has lived so long in Derbyshire {para} Oh if that is all I have a very poor opinion of young men who live in Derbyshire and their intimate friends who live in Hertfordshire are not much better I am sick of them all Thank Heaven I am going tomorrow where I shall find a man who has not one agreeable quality who has neither manner nor sense to recommend him Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing after all {para} Take care Lizzy that speech savours strongly of disappointment {para} Before they were separated by the conclusion of the play she had the unexpected happiness of an invitation to accompany her uncle and aunt in a tour of pleasure which they proposed taking in the summer {para} We have not determined how far it shall carry us said Mrs Gardiner but perhaps to the Lakes {para} No scheme could have been more agreeable to Elizabeth and her acceptance of the invitation was most ready and grateful Oh my dear dear aunt she rapturously cried what delight what felicity You give me fresh life and vigour Adieu to disappointment and spleen What are young men to rocks and mountains Oh what hours of transport we shall spend And when we DO return it shall not be like other travellers without being able to give one accurate idea of anything We WILL know where we have gone we WILL recollect what we have seen Lakes mountains and rivers shall not be jumbled together in our imaginations nor when we attempt to describe any particular scene will we begin quarreling about its relative situation Let OUR first effusions be less insupportable than those of the generality of travellers {para} Chapter 28 {para} Every object in the next day 's journey was new and interesting to Elizabeth and her spirits were in a state of enjoyment for she had seen her sister looking so well as to banish all fear for her health and the prospect of her northern tour was a constant source of delight {para} When they left the high road for the lane to Hunsford every eye was in search of the Parsonage and every turning expected to bring it in view The palings of Rosings Park was their boundary on one side Elizabeth smiled at the recollection of all that she had heard of its inhabitants {para} At length the Parsonage was discernible The garden sloping to the road the house standing in it the green pales and the laurel hedge everything declared they were arriving Mr Collins and Charlotte appeared at the door and the carriage stopped at the small gate which led by a short gravel walk to the house amidst the nods and smiles of the whole party In a moment they were all out of the chaise rejoicing at the sight of each other Mrs Collins welcomed her friend with the liveliest pleasure and Elizabeth was more and more satisfied with coming when she found herself so affectionately received She saw instantly that her cousin 's manner were not altered by his marriage his formal civility was just what it had been and he detained her some minutes at the gate to hear and satisfy his inquiries after all her family They were then with no other delay than his pointing out the neatness of the entrance taken into the house and as soon as they were in the parlour he welcomed them a second time with ostentatious formality to his humble abode and punctually repeated all his wife 's offers of refreshment {para} Elizabeth was prepared to see him in his glory and she could not help in fancying that in displaying the good proportion of the room its aspect and its furniture he addressed himself particularly to her as if wishing to make her feel what she had lost in refusing him But though everything seemed neat and comfortable she was not able to gratify him by any sigh of repentance and rather looked with wonder at her friend that she could have so cheerful an air with such a companion When Mr Collins said anything of which his wife might reasonably be ashamed which certainly was not unseldom she involuntarily turned her eye on Charlotte Once of twice she could discern a faint blush but in general Charlotte wisely did not hear After sitting long enough to admire every article of furniture in the room from the sideboard to the fender to give an account of their journey and of all that had happened in London Mr Collins invited them to take a stroll in the garden which was large and well laid out and to the cultivation of which he attended himself To work in this garden was one of his most respectable pleasures and Elizabeth admired the command of countenance with which Charlotte talked of the healthfulness of the exercise and owned she encouraged it as much as possible Here leading the way through every walk and cross walk and scarcely allowing them an interval to utter the praises he asked for every view was pointed out with a minuteness which left beauty entirely behind He could number the fields in every direction and could tell how many tress there were in the most distant clump But of all the views which his garden or which the country or kingdom could boast none were to be compared with the prospect of Rosings afforded by an opening in the trees that bordered the park nearly opposite the front of his house It was a handsome modern building well situated on rising ground {para} From his garden Mr Collins would have led them round his two meadows but the ladies not having shoes to encounter the remains of a white frost turned back and while Sir William accompanied him Charlotte took her sister and friend over the house extremely well pleased probably to have the opportunity of showing it without her husband 's help It was rather small but well built and convenient and everything was fitted up and arranged with a neatness and consistency of which Elizabeth gave Charlotte all the credit When Mr Collins could be forgotten there was really an air of great comfort throughout and by Charlotte 's evident enjoyment of it Elizabeth supposed he must be often forgotten {para} She had already learnt that Lady Catherine was still in the country It was spoken of again while they were at dinner when Mr Collins joining in observed {para} Yes Miss Elizabeth you will have the honour of seeing Lady Catherine de Bourgh on the ensuing Sunday at church and I need not say you will be delighted with her She is all affability and condescension and I doubt not but you will be honoured with some portion of her notice when service is over I have scarcely any hesitation in saying she will include you and my sister Maria in every invitation with which she honours us during your stay here Her behaviour to my dear Charlotte is charming We dine at Rosings twice every week and are never allowed to walk home Her ladyship 's carriage is regularly ordered for us I SHOULD say one of her ladyship 's carriages for she has several {para} Lady Catherine is a very respectable sensible woman indeed added Charlotte and a most attentive neighbour {para} Very true my dear that is exactly what I say She is the sort of woman whom one cannot regard with too much deference {para} The evening was spent chiefly in talking over Hertfordshire news and telling again what had already been written and when it closed Elizabeth in the solitude of her chamber had to meditate upon Charlotte 's degree of contentment to understand her address in guiding and composure in bearing with her husband and to acknowledge that it was all done very well She had also to anticipate how her visit would pass the quiet tenor of their usual employments the vexatious interruptions of Mr Collins and the gaieties of their intercourse with Rosings A lively imagination soon settled it all {para} About the middle of the next day as she was in her room getting ready for a walk a sudden noise below seemed to speak the whole house in confusion and after listening a moment she heard somebody running upstairs in a violent hurry and calling loudly after her She opened the door and met Maria in the landing place who breathless with agitation cried out {para} Oh my dear Eliza pray make haste and come into the dining room for there is such a sight to be seen I will not tell you what it is Make haste and come down this moment {para} Elizabeth asked questions in vain Maria would tell her nothing more and down they ran into the dining room which fronted the lane in quest of this wonder It was two ladies stopping in a low phaeton at the garden gate {para} And is this all cried Elizabeth I expected at least that the pigs were got into the garden and here is nothing but Lady Catherine and her daughter {para} La my dear said Maria quite shocked at the mistake it is not Lady Catherine The old lady is Mrs Jenkins who lives with them the other is Miss de Bourgh Only look at her She is quite a little creature Who would have thought that she could be so thin and small {para} She is abominably rude to keep Charlotte out of doors in all this wind Why does she not come in {para} Oh Charlotte says she hardly ever does It is the greatest of favours when Miss de Bourgh comes in {para} I like her appearance said Elizabeth struck with other ideas She looks sickly and cross Yes she will do for him very well She will make him a very proper wife {para} Mr Collins and Charlotte were both standing at the gate in conversation with the ladies and Sir William to Elizabeth 's high diversion was stationed in the doorway in earnest contemplation of the greatness before him and constantly bowing whenever Miss de Bourgh looked that way {para} At length there was nothing more to be said the ladies drove on and the others returned into the house Mr Collins no sooner saw the two girls than he began to congratulate them on their good fortune which Charlotte explained by letting them know that the whole party was asked to dine at Rosings the next day {para} Chapter 29 {para} Mr Collins 's triumph in consequence of this invitation was complete The power of displaying the grandeur of his patroness to his wondering visitors and of letting them see her civility towards himself and his wife was exactly what he had wished for and that an opportunity of doing it should be given so soon was such an instance of Lady Catherine 's condescension as he knew not how to admire enough {para} I confess said he that I should not have been at all surprised by her ladyship 's asking us on Sunday to drink tea and spend the evening at Rosings I rather expected from my knowledge of her affability that it would happen But who could have foreseen such an attention as this Who could have imagined that we should receive an invitation to dine there an invitation moreover including the whole party so immediately after your arrival {para} I am the less surprised at what has happened replied Sir William from that knowledge of what the manners of the great really are which my situation in life has allowed me to acquire About the court such instances of elegant breeding are not uncommon {para} Scarcely anything was talked of the whole day or next morning but their visit to Rosings Mr Collins was carefully instructing them in what they were to expect that the sight of such rooms so many servants and so splendid a dinner might not wholly overpower them {para} When the ladies were separating for the toilette Her said to Elizabeth {para} Do not make yourself uneasy my dear cousin about your apparel Lady Catherine is far from requiring that elegance of dress in us which becomes herself and her daughter I would advise you merely to put on whatever of your clothes is superior to the rest there is no occasion for anything more Lady Catherine will not think the worse of you for being simply dressed She likes to have the distinction of rank preserved {para} While they were dressing he came two or three times to their different doors to recommend their being quick as Lady Catherine very much objected to be kept waiting for her dinner Such formidable accounts of her ladyship and her manner of living quite frightened Maria Lucas who had been little used to company and she looked forward to her introduction at Rosings with as much apprehension as her father had done to his presentation at St James 's {para} As the weather was fine they had a pleasant walk of about half a mile across the park Every park has its beauty and its prospects and Elizabeth saw much to be pleased with though she could not be in such raptures as Mr Collins expected the scene to inspire and was but slightly affected by his enumeration of the windows in front of the house and his relation of what the glazing altogether had originally cost Sir Lewis de Bourgh {para} When they ascended the steps to the hall Maria 's alarm was every moment increasing and even Sir William did not look perfectly calm Elizabeth 's courage did not fail her She had heard nothing of Lady Catherine that spoke her awful from any extraordinary talents or miraculous virtue and the mere stateliness of money or rank she thought she could witness without trepidation {para} From the entrance hall of which Mr Collins pointed out with a rapturous air the fine proportion and the finished ornaments they followed the servants through an ante chamber to the room where Lady Catherine her daughter and Mrs Jenkinson were sitting Her ladyship with great condescension arose to receive them and as Mrs Collins had settled it with her husband that the office of introduction should be hers it was performed in a proper manner without any of those apologies and thanks which he would have thought necessary {para} In spite of having been at St James 's Sir William was so completely awed by the grandeur surrounding him that he had but just courage enough to make a very low bow and take his seat without saying a word and his daughter frightened almost out of her senses sat on the edge of her chair not knowing which way to look Elizabeth found herself quite equal to the scene and could observe the three ladies before her composedly Lady Catherine was a tall large woman with strongly marked features which might once have been handsome Her air was not conciliating nor was her manner of receiving them such as to make her visitors forget their inferior rank She was not rendered formidable by silence but whatever she said was spoken in so authoritative a tone as marked her self importance and brought Mr Wickham immediately to Elizabeth 's mind and from the observation of the day altogether she believed Lady Catherine to be exactly what he represented {para} When after examining the mother in whose countenance and deportment she soon found some resemblance of Mr Darcy she turned her eyes on the daughter she could almost have joined in Maria 's astonishment at her being so thin and so small There was neither in figure nor face any likeness between the ladies Miss de Bourgh was pale and sickly her features though not plain were insignificant and she spoke very little except in a low voice to Mrs Jenkinson in whose appearance there was nothing remarkable and who was entirely engaged in listening to what she said and placing a screen in the proper direction before her eyes {para} After sitting a few minutes they were all sent to one of the windows to admire the view Mr Collins attending them to point out its beauties and Lady Catherine kindly informing them that it was much better worth looking at in the summer {para} The dinner was exceedingly handsome and there were all the servants and all the articles of plate which Mr Collins had promised and as he had likewise foretold he took his seat at the bottom of the table by her ladyship 's desire and looked as if he felt that life could furnish nothing greater He carved and ate and praised with delighted alacrity and every dish was commended first by him and then by Sir William who was now enough recovered to echo whatever his son in law said in a manner which Elizabeth wondered Lady Catherine could bear But Lady Catherine seemed gratified by their excessive admiration and gave most gracious smiles especially when any dish on the table proved a novelty to them The party did not supply much conversation Elizabeth was ready to speak whenever there was an opening but she was seated between Charlotte and Miss de Bourgh the former of whom was engaged in listening to Lady Catherine and the latter said not a word to her all dinner time Miss Jenkinson was chiefly employed in watching how little Miss de Bourgh ate pressing her to try some other dish and fearing she was indisposed Maria thought speaking out of the question and the gentlemen did nothing but eat and admire {para} When the ladies returned to the drawing room there was little to be done but to hear Lady Catherine talk which she did without any intermission till coffee came in delivering her opinion on every subject in so decisive a manner as proved that she was not used to have her judgement controverted She inquired into Charlotte 's domestic concerns familiarly and minutely gave her a great deal of advice as to the management of them all told her how everything ought to be regulated in so small a family as hers and instructed her as to the care of her cows and her poultry Elizabeth found that nothing was beneath this great lady 's attention which could furnish her with an occasion of dictating to others In the intervals of her discourse with Mrs Collins she addressed a variety of questions to Maria and Elizabeth but especially to the latter of whose connections she knew the least and who she observed to Mrs Collins was a very genteel pretty kind of girl She asked her at different times how many sisters she had whether they were older or younger than herself whether any of them were likely to be married whether they were handsome where they had been educated what carriage her father kept and what had been her mother 's maiden name Elizabeth felt all the impertinence of her questions but answered them very composedly Lady Catherine then observed {para} Your father 's estate is entailed on Mr Collins I think For your sake turning to Charlotte I am glad of it but otherwise I see no occasion for entailing estates from the female line It was not thought necessary in Sir Lewis de Bourgh 's family Do you play and sing Miss Bennet {para} A little {para} Oh then some time or other we shall be happy to hear you Our instrument is a capital one probably superior to You shall try it some day Do your sisters play and sing {para} One of them does {para} Why did not you all learn You ought all to have learned The Miss Webbs all play and their father has not so good an income as yours Do you draw {para} No not at all {para} What none of you {para} Not one {para} That is very strange But I suppose you had no opportunity Your mother should have taken you to town every spring for the benefit of masters {para} My mother would have had no objection but my father hates London {para} Has your governess left you {para} We never had any governess {para} No governess How was that possible Five daughters brought up at home without a governess I never heard of such a thing Your mother must have been quite a slave to your education {para} Elizabeth could hardly help smiling as she assured her that had not been the case {para} Then who taught you who attended to you Without a governess you must have been neglected {para} Compared with some families I believe we were but such of us as wished to learn never wanted the means We were always encouraged to read and had all the masters that were necessary Those who chose to be idle certainly might {para} Aye no doubt but that is what a governess will prevent and if I had known your mother I should have advised her most strenuously to engage one I always say that nothing is to be done in education without steady and regular instruction and nobody but a governess can give it It is wonderful how many families I have been the means of supplying in that way I am always glad to get a young person well placed out Four nieces of Mrs Jenkinson are most delightfully situated through my means and it was but the other day that I recommended another young person who was merely accidentally mentioned to me and the family are quite delighted with her Mrs Collins did I tell you of Lady Metcalf 's calling yesterday to thank me She finds Miss Pope a treasure Lady Catherine said she you have given me a treasure Are any of your younger sisters out Miss Bennet {para} Yes ma'am all {para} All What all five out at once Very odd And you only the second The younger ones out before the elder ones are married Your younger sisters must be very young {para} Yes my youngest is not sixteen Perhaps SHE is full young to be much in company But really ma'am I think it would be very hard upon younger sisters that they should not have their share of society and amusement because the elder may not have the means or inclination to marry early The last born has as good a right to the pleasures of youth at the first And to be kept back on SUCH a motive I think it would not be very likely to promote sisterly affection or delicacy of mind {para} Upon my word said her ladyship you give your opinion very decidedly for so young a person Pray what is your age {para} With three younger sisters grown up replied Elizabeth smiling your ladyship can hardly expect me to own it {para} Lady Catherine seemed quite astonished at not receiving a direct answer and Elizabeth suspected herself to be the first creature who had ever dared to trifle with so much dignified impertinence {para} You cannot be more than twenty I am sure therefore you need not conceal your age {para} I am not one and twenty {para} When the gentlemen had joined them and tea was over the card tables were placed Lady Catherine Sir William and Mr and Mrs Collins sat down to quadrille and as Miss de Bourgh chose to play at cassino the two girls had the honour of assisting Mrs Jenkinson to make up her party Their table was superlatively stupid Scarcely a syllable was uttered that did not relate to the game except when Mrs Jenkinson expressed her fears of Mis de Bourgh 's being too hot or too cold or having too much or too little light A great deal more passed at the other table Lady Catherine was generally speaking stating the mistakes of the three others or relating some anecdote of herself Mr Collins was employed in agreeing to everything her ladyship said thanking her for every fish he won and apologising if he thought he won too many Sir William did not say much He was storing his memory with anecdotes and noble names {para} When Lady Catherine and her daughter had played as long as they chose the tables were broken up the carriage was offered to Mrs Collins gratefully accepted and immediately ordered The party then gathered round the fire to hear Lady Catherine determine what weather they were to have on the morrow From these instructions they were summoned by the arrival of the coach and with many speeches of thankfulness on Mr Collins 's side and as many bows on Sir William 's they departed As soon as they had driven from the door Elizabeth was called on by her cousin to give her opinion of all that she had seen at Rosings which for Charlotte 's sake she made more favourable than it really was But her commendation though costing her some trouble could by no means satisfy Mr Collins and he was very soon obliged to take her ladyship 's praise into his own hands {para} Chapter 30 {para} Sir William stayed only a week at Hunsford but his visit was long enough to convince him of his daughter 's being most comfortably settled and of her possessing such a husband and such a neighbour as were not often met with While Sir William was with them Mr Collins devoted his morning to driving him out in his gig and showing him the country but when he went away the whole family returned to their usual employments and Elizabeth was thankful to find that they did not see more of her cousin by the alteration for the chief of the time between breakfast and dinner was now passed by him either at work in the garden or in reading and writing and looking out of the window in his own book room which fronted the road The room in which the ladies sat was backwards Elizabeth had at first rather wondered that Charlotte should not prefer the dining parlour for common use it was a better sized room and had a more pleasant aspect but she soon saw that her friend had an excellent reason for what she did for Mr Collins would undoubtedly have been much less in his own apartment had they sat in one equally lively and she gave Charlotte credit for the arrangement {para} From the drawing room they could distinguish nothing in the lane and were indebted to Mr Collins for the knowledge of what carriages went along and how often especially Miss de Bourgh drove by in her phaeton which he never failed coming to inform them of though it happened almost every day She not unfrequently stopped at the Parsonage and had a few minutes conversation with Charlotte but was scarcely ever prevailed upon to get out {para} Very few days passed in which Mr Collins did not walk to Rosings and not many in which his wife did not think it necessary to go likewise and till Elizabeth recollected that there might be other family livings to be disposed of she could not understand the sacrifice of so many hours Now and then they were honoured with a call from her ladyship and nothing escaped her observation that was passing in the room during these visits She examined into their employments looked at their work and advised them to do it differently found fault with the arrangement of the furniture or detected the housemaid in negligence and if she accepted any refreshment seemed to do it only for the sake of finding out that Mrs Collins 's joints of {para} eat were too large for her family {para} Elizabeth soon perceived that though this great lady was not in commission of the peace of the county she was a most active magistrate in her own parish the minutest concerns of which were carried to her by Mr Collins and whenever any of the cottagers were disposed to be quarrelsome discontented or too poor she sallied forth into the village to settle their differences silence their complaints and scold them into harmony and plenty {para} The entertainment of dining at Rosings was repeated about twice a week and allowing for the loss of Sir William and there being only one card table in the evening every such entertainment was the counterpart of the first Their other engagements were few as the style of living in the neighbourhood in general was beyond Mr Collins 's reach This however was no evil to Elizabeth and upon the whole she spent her time comfortably enough there were half hours of pleasant conversation with Charlotte and the weather was so fine for the time of year that she had often great enjoyment out of doors Her favourite walk and where she frequently went while the others were calling on Lady Catherine was along the open grove which edged that side of the park where there was a nice sheltered path which no one seemed to value but herself and where she felt beyond the reach of Lady Catherine 's curiosity {para} In this quiet way the first fortnight of her visit soon passed away Easter was approaching and the week preceding it was to bring an addition to the family at Rosings which in so small a circle must be important Elizabeth had heard soon after her arrival that Mr Darcy was expected there in the course of a few weeks and though there were not many of her acquaintances whom she did not prefer his coming would furnish one comparatively new to look at in their Rosings parties and she might be amused in seeing how hopeless Miss Bingley 's designs on him were by his behaviour to his cousin for whom he was evidently destined by Lady Catherine who talked of his coming with the greatest satisfaction spoke of him in terms of the highest admiration and seemed almost angry to find that he had already been frequently seen by Miss Lucas and herself {para} His arrival was soon known at the Parsonage for Mr Collins was walking the whole morning within view of the lodges opening into Hunsford Lane in order to have the earliest {para} assurance of it and after making his bow as the carriage turned into the Park hurried home with the great intelligence On the following morning he hastened to Rosings to pay his respects There were two nephews of Lady Catherine to require them for Mr Darcy had brought with him a Colonel Fitzwilliam the younger son of his uncle Lord and to the great surprise of all the party when Mr Collins returned the gentleman accompanied him Charlotte had seen them from her husband 's room crossing the road and immediately running into the other told the girls what an honour they might expect adding {para} I may thank you Eliza for this piece of civility Mr Darcy would never have come so soon to wait upon me {para} Elizabeth had scarcely time to disclaim all right to the compliment before their approach was announced by the door bell and shortly afterwards the three gentlemen entered the room Colonel Fitzwilliam who led the way was about thirty not handsome but in person and address most truly the gentleman Mr Darcy looked just as he had been used to look in Hertfordshire paid his compliments with his usual reserve to Mrs Collins and whatever might be his feelings toward her friend met her with every appearance of composure Elizabeth merely curtseyed to him without saying a word {para} Colonel Fitzwilliam entered into conversation directly with the readiness and ease of a well bred man and talked very pleasantly but his cousin after having addressed a slight observation on the house and garden to Mrs Collins sat for some time without speaking to anybody At length however his civility was so far awakened as to inquire of Elizabeth after the health of her family She answered him in the usual way and after a moment 's pause added {para} My eldest sister has been in town these three months Have you never happened to see her there {para} She was perfectly sensible that he never had but she wished to see whether he would betray any consciousness of what had passed between the Bingleys and Jane and she thought he looked a little confused as he answered that he had never been so fortunate as to meet Miss Bennet The subject was pursued no farther and the gentlemen soon afterwards went away {para} Chapter 31 {para} Colonel Fitzwilliam 's manners were very much admired at the Parsonage and the ladies all felt that he must add considerably to the pleasures of their engagements at Rosings It was some days however before they received any invitation thither for {para} while there were visitors in the house they could not be necessary and it was not till Easter day almost a week after the gentlemen 's arrival that they were honoured by such an attention and then they were merely asked on leaving church to come there in the evening For the last week they had seen very little of Lady Catherine or her daughter Colonel Fitzwilliam had called at the Parsonage more than once during the time but Mr Darcy they had seen only at church {para} The invitation was accepted of course and at a proper hour they joined the party in Lady Catherine 's drawing room Her ladyship received them civilly but it was plain that their company was by no means so acceptable as when she could get nobody else and she was in fact almost engrossed by her nephews speaking to them especially to Darcy much more than to any other person in the room {para} Colonel Fitzwilliam seemed really glad to see them anything was a welcome relief to him at Rosings and Mrs Collins 's pretty friend had moreover caught his fancy very much He now seated himself by her and talked so agreeably of Kent and Hertfordshire of travelling and staying at home of new books and music that Elizabeth had never been half so well entertained in that room before and they conversed with so much spirit and flow as to draw the attention of Lady Catherine herself as well as of Mr Darcy HIS eyes had been soon and repeatedly turned towards them with a look of curiosity and that her ladyship after a while shared the feeling was more openly acknowledged for she did not scruple to call out {para} What is that you are saying Fitzwilliam What is it you are talking of What are you telling Miss Bennet Let me hear what it is {para} We are speaking of music madam said he when no longer able to avoid a reply {para} Of music Then pray speak aloud It is of all subjects my {para} delight I must have my share in the conversation if you are speaking of music There are few people in England I suppose who have more true enjoyment of music than myself or a better natural taste If I had ever learnt I should have been a great proficient And so would Anne if her health had allowed her to apply I am confident that she would have performed delightfully How does Georgiana get on Darcy {para} Mr Darcy spoke with affectionate praise of his sister 's proficiency {para} I am very glad to hear such a good account of her said Lady Catherine and pray tell her from me that she cannot expect to excel if she does not practice a good deal {para} I assure you madam he replied that she does not need such advice She practises very constantly {para} So much the better It cannot be done too much and when I next write to her I shall charge her not to neglect it on any account I often tell young ladies that no excellence in music is to be acquired without constant practice I have told Miss Bennet several times that she will never play really well unless she practises more and though Mrs Collins has no instrument she is very welcome as I have often told her to come to Rosings every day and play on the pianoforte in Mrs Jenkinson 's room She would be in nobody 's way you know in that part of the house {para} Mr Darcy looked a little ashamed of his aunt 's ill breeding and made no answer {para} When coffee was over Colonel Fitzwilliam reminded Elizabeth of having promised to play to him and she sat down directly to the instrument He drew a chair near her Lady Catherine listened to half a song and then talked as before to her other nephew till the latter walked away from her and making with his usual deliberation towards the pianoforte stationed himself so as to command a full view of the fair performer 's countenance Elizabeth saw what he was doing and at the first convenient pause turned to him with an arch smile and said {para} You mean to frighten me Mr Darcy by coming in all this state to hear me I will not be alarmed though your sister DOES play so well There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to {para} be frightened at the will of others My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me {para} I shall not say you are mistaken he replied because you could not really believe me to entertain any design of alarming you and I have had the pleasure of your acquaintance long enough to know that you find great enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions which in fact are not your own {para} Elizabeth laughed heartily at this picture of herself and said to Colonel Fitzwilliam Your cousin will give you a very pretty notion of me and teach you not to believe a word I say I am particularly unlucky in meeting with a person so able to expose my real character in a part of the world where I had hoped to pass myself off with some degree of credit Indeed Mr Darcy it is very ungenerous in you to mention all that you knew to my disadvantage in Hertfordshire and give me leave to say very impolitic too for it is provoking me to retaliate and such things may come out as will shock your relations to hear {para} I am not afraid of you said he smilingly {para} Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of cried Colonel Fitzwilliam I should like to know how he behaves among strangers {para} You shall hear then but prepare yourself for something very dreadful The first time of my ever seeing him in Hertfordshire you must know was at a ball and at this ball what do you think he did He danced only four dances though gentlemen were scarce and to my certain knowledge more than one young lady was sitting down in want of a partner Mr Darcy you cannot deny the fact {para} I had not at that time the honour of knowing any lady in the assembly beyond my own party {para} True and nobody can ever be introduced in a ball room Well Colonel Fitzwilliam what do I play next My fingers wait your orders {para} Perhaps said Darcy I should have judged better had I sought an introduction but I am ill qualified to recommend myself to strangers {para} Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this said Elizabeth still addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education and who has lived in the world is ill qualified to recommend himself to strangers {para} I can answer your question said Fitzwilliam without applying to him It is because he will not give himself the trouble {para} I certainly have not the talent which some people possess said Darcy of conversing easily with those I have never seen before {para} I cannot catch their tone of conversation or appear interested in their concerns as I often see done {para} My fingers said Elizabeth do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women 's do They have not the same force or rapidity and do not produce the same expression But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault because I will not take the trouble of practising It is not that I do not believe MY fingers as capable as any other woman 's of superior execution {para} Darcy smiled and said You are perfectly right You have employed your time much better No one admitted to the privilege of hearing you can think anything wanting We neither of us perform to strangers {para} Here they were interrupted by Lady Catherine who called out to know what they were talking of Elizabeth immediately began playing again Lady Catherine approached and after listening for a few minutes said to Darcy {para} Miss Bennet would not play at all amiss if she practised more and could have the advantage of a London master She has a very good notion of fingering though her taste is not equal to Anne 's Anne would have been a delightful performer had her health allowed her to learn {para} Elizabeth looked at Darcy to see how cordially he assented to his cousin 's praise but neither at that moment nor at any other could she discern any symptom of love and from the whole of his behaviour to Miss de Bourgh she derived this comfort for Miss Bingley that he might have been just as likely to marry HER had she been his relation {para} Lady Catherine continued her remarks on Elizabeth 's performance mixing with them many instructions on execution and taste Elizabeth received them with all the forbearance of civility and at the request of the gentlemen remained at the instrument till her ladyship 's carriage was ready to take them all home {para} Chapter 32 {para} Elizabeth was sitting by herself the next morning and writing to Jane while Mrs Collins and Maria were gone on business into the village when she was startled by a ring at the door the certain signal of a visitor As she had heard no carriage she thought it not unlikely to be Lady Catherine and under that apprehension was putting away her half finished letter that she might escape all impertinent questions when the door opened and to her very great surprise Mr Darcy and Mr Darcy only entered the room {para} He seemed astonished too on finding her alone and apologised for his intrusion by letting her know that he had understood all the ladies were to be within {para} They then sat down and when her inquiries after Rosings were made seemed in danger of sinking into total silence It was absolutely necessary therefore to think of something and in this emergence recollecting WHEN she had seen him last in Hertfordshire and feeling curious to know what he would say on the subject of their hasty departure she observed {para} How very suddenly you all quitted Netherfield last November Mr Darcy It must have been a most agreeable surprise to Mr Bingley to see you all after him so soon for if I recollect right he went but the day before He and his sisters were well I hope when you left London {para} Perfectly so I thank you {para} She found that she was to receive no other answer and after a short pause added {para} I think I have understood that Mr Bingley has not much idea of ever returning to Netherfield again {para} I have never heard him say so but it is probable that he may spend very little of his time there in the future He has many friends and is at a time of life when friends and engagements are continually increasing {para} If he means to be but little at Netherfield it would be better for the neighbourhood that he should give up the place entirely for then we might possibly get a settled family there But perhaps Mr Bingley did not take the house so much for the convenience of the neighbourhood as for his own and we must expect him to keep it or quit it on the same principle {para} I should not be surprised said Darcy if he were to give it up as soon as any eligible purchase offers {para} Elizabeth made no answer She was afraid of talking longer of his friend and having nothing else to say was now determined to leave the trouble of finding a subject to him {para} He took the hint and soon began with This seems a very comfortable house Lady Catherine I believe did a great deal to it when Mr Collins first came to Hunsford {para} I believe she did and I am sure she could not have bestowed her kindness on a more grateful object {para} Mr Collins appears to be very fortunate in his choice of a wife {para} Yes indeed his friends may well rejoice in his having met with one of the very few sensible women who would have accepted him or have made him happy if they had My friend has an excellent understanding though I am not certain that I consider her marrying Mr Collins as the wisest thing she ever did She seems perfectly happy however and in a prudential light it is certainly a very good match for her {para} It must be very agreeable for her to be settled within so easy a distance of her own family and friends {para} An easy distance do you call it It is nearly fifty miles {para} And what is fifty miles of good road Little more than half a day 's journey Yes I call it a very easy distance {para} I should never have considered the distance as one of the ADVANTAGES of the match cried Elizabeth I should never have said Mrs Collins was settled NEAR her family {para} It is a proof of your own attachment to Hertfordshire Anything beyond the very neighbourhood of Longbourn I suppose would appear far {para} As he spoke there was a sort of smile which Elizabeth fancied she understood he must be supposing her to be thinking of Jane and Netherfield and she blushed as she answered {para} I do not mean to say that a woman may not be settled too near her family The far and the near must be relative and depend on many varying circumstances Where there is fortune to make the expenses of travelling unimportant distance becomes no evil But that is not the case HERE Mr and Mrs Collins have a comfortable income but not such a one as will allow of frequent journeys and I am persuaded my friend would not call herself NEAR her family under less than HALF the present distance {para} Mr Darcy drew his chair a little towards her and said YOU cannot have a right to such very strong local attachment YOU cannot have been always at Longbourn {para} Elizabeth looked surprised The gentleman experienced some change of feeling he drew back his chair took a newspaper from the table and glancing over it said in a colder voice {para} Are you pleased with Kent {para} A short dialogue on the subject of the county ensued on either side calm and concise and soon put an end to by the entrance of Charlotte and her sister just returned from her walk The tete a tete surprised them Mr Darcy related the mistake which had occasioned his intruding on Miss Bennet and after sitting a few minutes longer without saying much to anybody went away {para} What can be the meaning of this said Charlotte as soon as he was gone My dear Eliza he must be in love with you or he would never have called us in this familiar way {para} But when Elizabeth told of his silence it did not seem very likely even to Charlotte 's wishes to be the case and after various conjectures they could at last only suppose his visit to {para} proceed from the difficulty of finding anything to do which was the more probable from the time of year All field sports were over Within doors there was Lady Catherine books and a billiard table but gentlemen cannot always be within doors and in the nearness of the Parsonage or the pleasantness of the walk to it or of the people who lived in it the two cousins found a temptation from this period of walking thither almost every day They called at various times of the morning sometimes separately sometimes together and now and then accompanied by their aunt It was plain to them all that Colonel Fitzwilliam came because he had pleasure in their society a persuasion which of course recommended him still more and Elizabeth was reminded by her own satisfaction in being with him as well as by his evident admiration of her of her former favourite George Wickham and though in comparing them she saw there was less captivating softness in Colonel Fitzwilliam 's manners she believed he might have the best informed mind {para} But why Mr Darcy came so often to the Parsonage it was more difficult to understand It could not be for society as he frequently sat there ten minutes together without opening his lips and when he did speak it seemed the effect of necessity rather than of choice a sacrifice to propriety not a pleasure to himself He seldom appeared really animated Mrs Collins knew not what to make of him Colonel Fitzwilliam 's occasionally laughing at his stupidity proved that he was generally different which her own knowledge of him could not have told her and as she would liked to have believed this change the effect of love and the object of that love her friend Eliza she set herself seriously to work to find it out She watched him whenever they were at Rosings and whenever he came to Hunsford but without much success He certainly looked at her friend a great deal but the expression of that look was disputable It was an earnest steadfast gaze but she often doubted whether there were much admiration in it and sometimes it seemed nothing but absence of mind {para} She had once or twice suggested to Elizabeth the possibility of his being partial to her but Elizabeth always laughed at the idea and Mrs Collins did not think it right to press the subject from the danger of raising expectations which might only end in disappointment for in her opinion it admitted not of a doubt that all her friend 's dislike would vanish if she could suppose him to be in her power {para} In her kind schemes for Elizabeth she sometimes planned her marrying colonel Fitzwilliam He was beyond comparison the most pleasant man he certainly admired her and his situation in life was most eligible but to counterbalance these advantages Mr Darcy had considerable patronage in the church and his cousin could have none at all {para} Chapter 33 {para} More than once did Elizabeth in her ramble within the park unexpectedly meet Mr Darcy She felt all the perverseness of the mischance that should bring him where no one else was brought and to prevent its ever happening again took care to inform him at first that it was a favourite haunt of hers How it could occur a second time therefore was very odd Yet it did and even a third It seemed like wilful ill nature or a voluntary penance for on these occasions it was not merely a few formal inquiries and an awkward pause and then away but he actually thought it necessary to turn back and walk with her He never said a great deal nor did she give herself the trouble of talking or of listening much but it struck her in the course of their third rencontre that he was asking some odd unconnected questions about her pleasure in being at Hunsford her love of solitary walks and her opinion of Mr and Mrs Collins 's happiness and that in speaking of Rosings and her not perfectly understanding the house he seemed to expect that whenever she came into Kent again she would be staying THERE too His words seemed to imply it Could he have Colonel Fitzwilliam in his thoughts She supposed if he meant anything he must mean and allusion to what might arise in that quarter It distressed her a little and she was quite glad to find herself at the gate in the pales opposite the Parsonage {para} She was engaged one day as she walked in perusing Jane 's last letter and dwelling on some passages which proved that Jane had not written in spirits when instead of being again surprised by Mr Darcy she saw on looking up that Colonel Fitzwilliam was meeting her Putting away the letter immediately and forcing a smile she said {para} I did not know before that you ever walked this way {para} I have been making the tour of the park he replied as I {para} generally do every year and intend to close it with a call at the Parsonage Are you going much farther {para} No I should have turned in a moment {para} And accordingly she did turn and they walked towards the Parsonage together {para} Do you certainly leave Kent on Saturday said she {para} Yes if Darcy does not put it off again But I am at his disposal He arranges the business just as he pleases {para} And if not able to please himself in the arrangement he has at least pleasure in the great power of choice I do not know anybody who seems more to enjoy the power of doing what he likes than Mr Darcy {para} He likes to have his own way very well replied Colonel Fitzwilliam But so we all do It is only that he has better means of having it than many others because he is rich and many others are poor I speak feelingly A younger son you know must be inured to self denial and dependence {para} In my opinion the younger son of an earl can know very little of either Now seriously what have you ever known of self denial and dependence When have you been prevented by want of money from going wherever you chose or procuring anything you had a fancy for {para} These are home questions and perhaps I cannot say that I have experienced many hardships of that nature But in matters of greater weight I may suffer from want of money Younger sons cannot marry where they like {para} Unless where they like women of fortune which I think they very often do {para} Our habits of expense make us too dependent and there are too many in my rank of life who can afford to marry without some attention to money {para} Is this thought Elizabeth meant for me and she coloured at the idea but recovering herself said in a lively tone And pray what is the usual price of an earl 's younger son Unless {para} the elder brother is very sickly I suppose you would not ask above fifty thousand pounds {para} He answered her in the same style and the subject dropped To interrupt a silence which might make him fancy her affected with what had passed she soon afterwards said {para} I imagine your cousin brought you down with him chiefly for the sake of having someone at his disposal I wonder he does not marry to secure a lasting convenience of that kind But perhaps his sister does as well for the present and as she is under his sole care he may do what he likes with her {para} No said Colonel Fitzwilliam that is an advantage which he must divide with me I am joined with him in the guardianship of Miss Darcy {para} Are you indeed And pray what sort of guardians do you make Does your charge give you much trouble Young ladies of her age are sometimes a little difficult to manage and if she has the true Darcy spirit she may like to have her own way {para} As she spoke she observed him looking at her earnestly and the manner in which he immediately asked her why she supposed Miss Darcy likely to give them any uneasiness convinced her that she had somehow or other got pretty near the truth She directly replied {para} You need not be frightened I never heard any harm of her and I dare say she is one of the most tractable creatures in the world She is a very great favourite with some ladies of my acquaintance Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley I think I have heard you say that you know them {para} I know them a little Their brother is a pleasant gentlemanlike man he is a great friend of Darcy 's {para} Oh yes said Elizabeth drily Mr Darcy is uncommonly kind to Mr Bingley and takes a prodigious deal of care of him {para} Care of him Yes I really believe Darcy DOES take care of him in those points where he most wants care From something that he told me in our journey hither I have reason to think Bingley very much indebted to him But I ought to beg his pardon for I have no right to suppose that Bingley was the {para} person meant It was all conjecture {para} What is it you mean {para} It is a circumstance which Darcy could not wish to be generally known because if it were to get round to the lady 's family it would be an unpleasant thing {para} You may depend upon my not mentioning it {para} And remember that I have not much reason for supposing it to be Bingley What he told me was merely this that he congratulated himself on having lately saved a friend from the inconveniences of a most imprudent marriage but without mentioning names or any other particulars and I only suspected it to be Bingley from believing him the kind of young man to get into a scrape of that sort and from knowing them to have been together the whole of last summer {para} Did Mr Darcy give you reasons for this interference {para} I understood that there were some very strong objections against the lady {para} And what arts did he use to separate them {para} He did not talk to me of his own arts said Fitzwilliam smiling He only told me what I have now told you {para} Elizabeth made no answer and walked on her heart swelling with indignation After watching her a little Fitzwilliam asked her why she was so thoughtful {para} I am thinking of what you have been telling me said she Your cousin 's conduct does not suit my feelings Why was he to be the judge {para} You are rather disposed to call his interference officious {para} I do not see what right Mr Darcy had to decide on the propriety of his friend 's inclination or why upon his own judgement alone he was to determine and direct in what manner his friend was to be happy But she continued recollecting herself as we know none of the particulars it is not fair to condemn him It is not to be supposed that there was much {para} affection in the case {para} That is not an unnatural surmise said Fitzwilliam but it is a lessening of the honour of my cousin 's triumph very sadly {para} This was spoken jestingly but it appeared to her so just a picture of Mr Darcy that she would not trust herself with an answer and therefore abruptly changing the conversation talked on indifferent matters until they reached the Parsonage There shut into her own room as soon as their visitor left them she could think without interruption of all that she had heard It was not to be supposed that any other people could be meant than those with whom she was connected There could not exist in the world TWO men over whom Mr Darcy could have such boundless influence That he had been concerned in the measures taken to separate Bingley and Jane she had never doubted but she had always attributed to Miss Bingley the principal design and arrangement of them If his own vanity however did not mislead him HE was the cause his pride and caprice were the cause of all that Jane had suffered and still continued to suffer He had ruined for a while every hope of happiness for the most affectionate generous heart in the world and no one could say how lasting an evil he might have inflicted {para} There were some very strong objections against the lady were Colonel Fitzwilliam 's words and those strong objections probably were her having one uncle who was a country attorney and another who was in business in London {para} To Jane herself she exclaimed there could be no possibility of objection all loveliness and goodness as she is her understanding excellent her mind improved and her manners captivating Neither could anything be urged against my father who though with some peculiarities has abilities Mr Darcy himself need not disdain and respectability which he will probably never each When she thought of her mother her confidence gave way a little but she would not allow that any objections THERE had material weight with Mr Darcy whose pride she was convinced would receive a deeper wound from the want of importance in his friend 's connections than from their want of sense and she was quite decided at last that he had been partly governed by this worst kind of pride and partly by the wish of retaining Mr Bingley for his sister {para} The agitation and tears which the subject occasioned brought on a headache and it grew so much worse towards the evening that added to her unwillingness to see Mr Darcy it determined her not to attend her cousins to Rosings where they were engaged to drink tea Mrs Collins seeing that she was really unwell did not press her to go and as much as possible prevented her husband from pressing her but Mr Collins could not conceal his apprehension of Lady Catherine 's being rather displeased by her staying at home {para} Chapter 34 {para} When they were gone Elizabeth as if intending to exasperate herself as much as possible against Mr Darcy chose for her employment the examination of all the letters which Jane had written to her since her being in Kent They contained no actual complaint nor was there any revival of past occurrences or any communication of present suffering But in all and in almost every line of each there was a want of that cheerfulness which had been used to characterise her style and which proceeding from the serenity of a mind at ease with itself and kindly disposed towards everyone had been scarcely ever clouded Elizabeth noticed every sentence conveying the idea of uneasiness with an attention which it had hardly received on the first perusal Mr Darcy 's shameful boast of what misery he had been able to inflict gave her a keener sense of her sister 's sufferings It was some consolation to think that his visit to Rosings was to end on the day after the next and a still greater that in less than a fortnight she should herself be with Jane again and enabled to contribute to the recovery of her spirits by all that affection could do {para} She could not think of Darcy 's leaving Kent without remembering that his cousin was to go with him but Colonel Fitzwilliam had made it clear that he had no intentions at all and agreeable as he was she did not mean to be unhappy about him {para} While settling this point she was suddenly roused by the sound of the door bell and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea of its being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself who had once before called late in the evening and might now come to inquire particularly after her But this idea was soon banished and her {para} spirits were very differently affected when to her utter amazement she saw Mr Darcy walk into the room In an hurried manner he immediately began an inquiry after her health imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better She answered him with cold civility He sat down for a few moments and then getting up walked about the room Elizabeth was surprised but said not a word After a silence of several minutes he came towards her in an agitated manner and thus began {para} In vain I have struggled It will not do My feelings will not be repressed You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you {para} Elizabeth 's astonishment was beyond expression She stared coloured doubted and was silent This he considered sufficient encouragement and the avowal of all that he felt and had long felt for her immediately followed He spoke well but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness than of pride His sense of her inferiority of its being a degradation of the family obstacles which had always opposed to inclination were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding but was very unlikely to recommend his suit {para} In spite of her deeply rooted dislike she could not be insensible to the compliment of such a man 's affection and though her intentions did not vary for an instant she was at first sorry for the pain he was to receive till roused to resentment by his subsequent language she lost all compassion in anger She tried however to compose herself to answer him with patience when he should have done He concluded with representing to her the strength of that attachment which in spite of all his endeavours he had found impossible to conquer and with expressing his hope that it would now be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand As he said this she could easily see that he had no doubt of a favourable answer He SPOKE of apprehension and anxiety but his countenance expressed real security Such a circumstance could only exasperate farther and when he ceased the colour rose into her cheeks and she said {para} In such cases as this it is I believe the established mode to express a sense of obligation for the sentiments avowed {para} however unequally they may be returned It is natural that obligation should be felt and if I could FEEL gratitude I would now thank you But I cannot I have never desired your good opinion and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly I {para} am sorry to have occasioned pain to anyone It has been most unconsciously done however and I hope will be of short duration The feelings which you tell me have long prevented the acknowledgment of your regard can have little difficulty in overcoming it after this explanation {para} Mr Darcy who was leaning against the mantelpiece with his eyes fixed on her face seemed to catch her words with no less resentment than surprise His complexion became pale with anger and the disturbance of his mind was visible in every feature He was struggling for the appearance of composure and would not open his lips till he believed himself to have attained it The pause was to Elizabeth 's feelings dreadful At length with a voice of forced calmness he said {para} And this is the reply which I am to have the honour of expecting I might perhaps wish to be informed why with so little ENDEAVOUR at civility I am thus rejected But it is of small importance {para} I might as well inquire replied she why with so evident a desire of offending and insulting me you chose to tell me that you liked me against your will against your reason and even against your character Was not this some excuse for incivility if I WAS uncivil But I have other provocations You know I have Had not my feelings decided against you had they been indifferent or had they even been favourable do you think that any consideration would tempt me to accept the man who has been the means of ruining perhaps for ever the happiness of a most beloved sister {para} As she pronounced these words Mr Darcy changed colour but the emotion was short and he listened without attempting to interrupt her while she continued {para} I have every reason in the world to think ill of you No motive can excuse the unjust and ungenerous part you acted THERE You dare not you cannot deny that you have been the principal if not the only means of dividing them from each other of exposing one to the censure of the world for caprice and {para} instability and the other to its derision for disappointed hopes and involving them both in misery of the acutest kind {para} She paused and saw with no slight indignation that he was listening with an air which proved him wholly unmoved by any feeling of remorse He even looked at her with a smile of affected incredulity {para} Can you deny that you have done it she repeated {para} With assumed tranquillity he then replied I have no wish of denying that I did everything in my power to separate my friend from your sister or that I rejoice in my success Towards HIM I have been kinder than towards myself {para} Elizabeth disdained the appearance of noticing this civil reflection but its meaning did not escape nor was it likely to conciliate her {para} But it is not merely this affair she continued on which my dislike is founded Long before it had taken place my opinion of you was decided Your character was unfolded in the recital which I received many months ago from Mr Wickham On this subject what can you have to say In what imaginary act of friendship can you here defend yourself or under what misrepresentation can you here impose upon others {para} You take an eager interest in that gentleman 's concerns said Darcy in a less tranquil tone and with a heightened colour {para} Who that knows what his misfortunes have been can help feeling an interest in him {para} His misfortunes repeated Darcy contemptuously yes his misfortunes have been great indeed {para} And of your infliction cried Elizabeth with energy You have reduced him to his present state of poverty comparative poverty You have withheld the advantages which you must know to have been designed for him You have deprived the best years of his life of that independence which was no less his due than his desert You have done all this and yet you can treat the mention of his misfortune with contempt and ridicule {para} And this cried Darcy as he walked with quick steps across {para} the room Is your opinion of me This is the estimation in which you hold me I thank you for explaining it so fully My faults according to this calculation are heavy indeed But perhaps added he stopping in his walk and turning towards her these offenses might have been overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my honest confession of the scruples that had long prevented my forming any serious design These bitter accusations might have been suppressed had I with greater policy concealed my struggles and flattered you into the belief of my being impelled by unqualified unalloyed inclination by reason by reflection by everything But disguise of every sort is my abhorrence Nor am I ashamed of the feelings I related They were natural and just Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your connections to congratulate myself on the hope of relations whose condition in life is so decidedly beneath my own {para} Elizabeth felt herself growing more angry every moment yet she tried to the utmost to speak with composure when she said {para} You are mistaken Mr Darcy if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way than as it spared the concern which I might have felt in refusing you had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner {para} She saw him start at this but he said nothing and she continued {para} You could not have made the offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it {para} Again his astonishment was obvious and he looked at her with an expression of mingled incredulity and mortification She went on {para} From the very beginning from the first moment I may almost say of my acquaintance with you your manners impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance your conceit and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry {para} You have said quite enough madam I perfectly comprehend your feelings and have now only to be ashamed of what my own {para} have been Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness {para} And with these words he hastily left the room and Elizabeth heard him the next moment open the front door and quit the house {para} The tumult of her mind was now painfully great She knew not how to support herself and from actual weakness sat down and cried for half an hour Her astonishment as she reflected on what had passed was increased by every review of it That she should receive an offer of marriage from Mr Darcy That he should have been in love with her for so many months So much in love as to wish to marry her in spite of all the objections which had made him prevent his friend 's marrying her sister and which must appear at least with equal force in his own case was almost incredible It was gratifying to have inspired unconsciously so strong an affection But his pride his abominable pride his shameless avowal of what he had done with respect to Jane his unpardonable assurance in acknowledging though he could not justify it and the unfeeling manner in which he had mentioned Mr Wickham his cruelty towards whom he had not attempted to deny soon overcame the pity which the consideration of his attachment had for a moment excited She continued in very agitated reflections till the sound of Lady Catherine 's carriage made her feel how unequal she was to encounter Charlotte 's observation and hurried her away to her room {para} Chapter 35 {para} Elizabeth awoke the next morning to the same thoughts and meditations which had at length closed her eyes She could not yet recover from the surprise of what had happened it was impossible to think of anything else and totally indisposed for employment she resolved soon after breakfast to indulge herself in air and exercise She was proceeding directly to her favourite walk when the recollection of Mr Darcy 's sometimes coming there stopped her and instead of entering the park she turned up the lane which led farther from the turnpike road The park paling was still the boundary on one side and she soon passed one of the gates into the ground {para} After walking two or three times along that part of the lane she was tempted by the pleasantness of the morning to stop at the gates and look into the park The five weeks which she had now passed in Kent had made a great difference in the country and every day was adding to the verdure of the early trees She was on the point of continuing her walk when she caught a glimpse of a gentleman within the sort of grove which edged the park he was moving that way and fearful of its being Mr Darcy she was directly retreating But the person who advanced was now near enough to see her and stepping forward with eagerness pronounced her name She had turned away but on hearing herself called though in a voice which proved it to be Mr Darcy she moved again towards the gate He had by that time reached it also and holding out a letter which she instinctively took said with a look of haughty composure I have been walking in the grove some time in the hope of meeting you Will you do me the honour of reading that letter And then with a slight bow turned again into the plantation and was soon out of sight {para} With no expectation of pleasure but with the strongest curiosity Elizabeth opened the letter and to her still increasing wonder perceived an envelope containing two sheets of letter paper written quite through in a very close hand The envelope itself was likewise full Pursuing her way along the lane she then began it It was dated from Rosings at eight o'clock in the morning and was as follows {para} Be not alarmed madam on receiving this letter by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments or renewal of those offers which were last night so disgusting to you I write without any intention of paining you or humbling myself by dwelling on wishes which for the happiness of both cannot be too soon forgotten and the effort which the formation and the perusal of this letter must occasion should have been spared had not my character required it to be written and read You must therefore pardon the freedom with which I demand your attention your feelings I know will bestow it unwillingly but I demand it of your justice {para} Two offenses of a very different nature and by no means of equal magnitude you last night laid to my charge The first mentioned was that regardless of the sentiments of either I had detached Mr Bingley from your sister and the other that I had in defiance of various claims in defiance of honour and {para} humanity ruined the immediate prosperity and blasted the prospects of Mr Wickham Wilfully and wantonly to have thrown off the companion of my youth the acknowledged favourite of my father a young man who had scarcely any other dependence than on our patronage and who had been brought up to expect its exertion would be a depravity to which the separation of two young persons whose affection could be the growth of only a few weeks could bear no comparison But from the severity of that blame which was last night so liberally bestowed respecting each circumstance I shall hope to be in the future secured when the following account of my actions and their motives has been read If in the explanation of them which is due to myself I am under the necessity of relating feelings which may be offensive to yours I can only say that I am sorry The necessity must be obeyed and further apology would be absurd {para} I had not been long in Hertfordshire before I saw in common with others that Bingley preferred your elder sister to any other young woman in the country But it was not till the evening of the dance at Netherfield that I had any apprehension of his feeling a serious attachment I had often seen him in love before At that ball while I had the honour of dancing with you I was first made acquainted by Sir William Lucas 's accidental information that Bingley 's attentions to your sister had given rise to a general expectation of their marriage He spoke of it as a certain event of which the time alone could be undecided From that moment I observed my friend 's behaviour attentively and I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him Your sister I also watched Her look and manners were open cheerful and engaging as ever but without any symptom of peculiar regard and I remained convinced from the evening 's scrutiny that though she received his attentions with pleasure she did not invite them by any participation of sentiment If YOU have not been mistaken here I must have been in error Your superior knowledge of your sister must make the latter probable If it be so if I have been misled by such error to inflict pain on her your resentment has not been unreasonable But I shall not scruple to assert that the serenity of your sister 's countenance and air was such as might have given the most acute observer a conviction that however amiable her temper her heart was not likely to be easily touched That I was desirous of believing her indifferent is certain but I will venture to say that my investigation and decisions are not usually influenced by my hopes or fears I did {para} not believe her to be indifferent because I wished it I believed it on impartial conviction as truly as I wished it in reason My objections to the marriage were not merely those which I last night acknowledged to have the utmost force of passion to put aside in my own case the want of connection could not be so great an evil to my friend as to me But there were other causes of repugnance causes which though still existing and existing to an equal degree in both instances I had myself endeavoured to forget because they were not immediately before me These causes must be stated though briefly The situation of your mother 's family though objectionable was nothing in comparison to that total want of propriety so frequently so almost uniformly betrayed by herself by your three younger sisters and occasionally even by your father Pardon me It pains me to offend you But amidst your concern for the defects of your nearest relations and your displeasure at this representation of them let it give you consolation to consider that to have conducted yourselves so as to avoid any share of the like censure is praise no less generally bestowed on you and your elder sister than it is honourable to the sense and disposition of both I will only say farther that from what passed that evening my opinion of all parties was confirmed and every inducement heightened which could have led me before to preserve my friend from what I esteemed a most unhappy connection He left Netherfield for London on the day following as you I am certain remember with the design of soon returning {para} The part which I acted is now to be explained His sisters uneasiness had been equally excited with my own our coincidence of feeling was soon discovered and alike sensible that no time was to be lost in detaching their brother we shortly resolved on joining him directly in London We accordingly went and there I readily engaged in the office of pointing out to my friend the certain evils of such a choice I described and enforced them earnestly But however this remonstrance might have staggered or delayed his determination I do not suppose that it would ultimately have prevented the marriage had it not been seconded by the assurance that I hesitated not in giving of your sister 's indifference He had before believed her to return his affection with sincere if not with equal regard But Bingley has great natural modesty with a stronger dependence on my judgement than on his own To convince him therefore that he had deceived himself was no very difficult point To persuade him against returning into Hertfordshire when that conviction {para} had been given was scarcely the work of a moment I cannot blame myself for having done thus much There is but one part of my conduct in the whole affair on which I do not reflect with satisfaction it is that I condescended to adopt the measures of art so far as to conceal from him your sister 's being in town I knew it myself as it was known to Miss Bingley but her brother is even yet ignorant of it That they might have met without ill consequence is perhaps probable but his regard did not appear to me enough extinguished for him to see her without some danger Perhaps this concealment this disguise was beneath me it is done however and it was done for the best On this subject I have nothing more to say no other apology to offer If I have wounded your sister 's feelings it was unknowingly done and though the motives which governed me may to you very naturally appear insufficient I have not yet learnt to condemn them {para} With respect to that other more weighty accusation of having injured Mr Wickham I can only refute it by laying before you the whole of his connection with my family Of what he has PARTICULARLY accused me I am ignorant but of the truth of what I shall relate I can summon more than one witness of undoubted veracity {para} Mr Wickham is the son of a very respectable man who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally inclined my father to be of service to him and on George Wickham who was his godson his kindness was therefore liberally bestowed My father supported him at school and afterwards at Cambridge most important assistance as his own father always poor from the extravagance of his wife would have been unable to give him a gentleman 's education My father was not only fond of this young man 's society whose manner were always engaging he had also the highest opinion of him and hoping the church would be his profession intended to provide for him in it As for myself it is many many years since I first began to think of him in a very different manner The vicious propensities the want of principle which he was careful to guard from the knowledge of his best friend could not escape the observation of a young man of nearly the same age with himself and who had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments which Mr Darcy could not have Here again shall give you pain to what degree you only can tell But whatever may be the sentiments which Mr Wickham has created a {para} suspicion of their nature shall not prevent me from unfolding his real character it adds even another motive {para} My excellent father died about five years ago and his attachment to Mr Wickham was to the last so steady that in his will he particularly recommended it to me to promote his advancement in the best manner that his profession might allow and if he took orders desired that a valuable family living might be his as soon as it became vacant There was also a legacy of one thousand pounds His own father did not long survive mine and within half a year from these events Mr Wickham wrote to inform me that having finally resolved against taking orders he hoped I should not think it unreasonable for him to expect some more immediate pecuniary advantage in lieu of the preferment by which he could not be benefited He had some intention he added of studying law and I must be aware that the interest of one thousand pounds would be a very insufficient support therein I rather wished than believed him to be sincere but at any rate was perfectly ready to accede to his proposal I knew that Mr Wickham ought not to be a clergyman the business was therefore soon settled he resigned all claim to assistance in the church were it possible that he could ever be in a situation to receive it and accepted in return three thousand pounds All connection between us seemed now dissolved I thought too ill of him to invite him to Pemberley or admit his society in town In town I believe he chiefly lived but his studying the law was a mere pretence and being now free from all restraint his life was a life of idleness and dissipation For about three years I heard little of him but on the decease of the incumbent of the living which had been designed for him he applied to me again by letter for the presentation His circumstances he assured me and I had no difficulty in believing it were exceedingly bad He had found the law a most unprofitable study and was now absolutely resolved on being ordained if I would present him to the living in question of which he trusted there could be little doubt as he was well assured that I had no other person to provide for and I could not have forgotten my revered father 's intentions You will hardly blame me for refusing to comply with this entreaty or for resisting every repetition to it His resentment was in proportion to the distress of his circumstances and he was doubtless as violent in his abuse of me to others as in his reproaches to myself After this period every appearance of acquaintance was dropped How he lived I know not But last summer he was again most painfully obtruded on my notice {para} I must now mention a circumstance which I would wish to forget myself and which no obligation less than the present should induce me to unfold to any human being Having said thus much I feel no doubt of your secrecy My sister who is more than ten years my junior was left to the guardianship of my mother 's nephew Colonel Fitzwilliam and myself About a year ago she was taken from school and an establishment formed for her in London and last summer she went with the lady who presided over it to Ramsgate and thither also went Mr Wickham undoubtedly by design for there proved to have been a prior acquaintance between him and Mrs Younge in whose character we were most unhappily deceived and by her connivance and aid he so far recommended himself to Georgiana whose affectionate heart retained a strong impression of his kindness to her as a child that she was persuaded to believe herself in love and to consent to an elopement She was then but fifteen which must be her excuse and after stating her imprudence I am happy to add that I owed the knowledge of it to herself I joined them unexpectedly a day or two before the intended elopement and then Georgiana unable to support the idea of grieving and offending a brother whom she almost looked up to as a father acknowledged the whole to me You may imagine what I felt and how I acted Regard for my sister 's credit and feelings prevented any public exposure but I wrote to Mr Wickham who left the place immediately and Mrs Younge was of course removed from her charge Mr Wickham 's object was unquestionably my sister 's fortune which is thirty thousand pounds but I cannot help supposing that the hope of revenging himself on me was a strong inducement His revenge would have been complete indeed {para} This madam is a faithful narrative of every event in which we have been concerned together and if you do not absolutely reject it as false you will I hope acquit me henceforth of cruelty towards Mr Wickham I know not in what manner under what form of falsehood he had imposed on you but his success is not perhaps to be wondered at ignorant as you previously were of everything concerning either Detection could not be in your power and suspicion certainly not in your inclination {para} You may possibly wonder why all this was not told you last night but I was not then master enough of myself to know what could or ought to be revealed For the truth of everything here {para} related I can appeal more particularly to the testimony of Colonel Fitzwilliam who from our near relationship and constant intimacy and still more as one of the executors of my father 's will has been unavoidably acquainted with every particular of these transactions If your abhorrence of ME should make MY assertions valueless you cannot be prevented by the same cause from confiding in my cousin and that there may be the possibility of consulting him I shall endeavour to find some opportunity of putting this letter in your hands in the course of the morning I will only add God bless you FITZWILLIAM DARCY {para} Chapter 36 {para} If Elizabeth when Mr Darcy gave her the letter did not expect it to contain a renewal of his offers she had formed no expectation at all of its contents But such as they were it may well be supposed how eagerly she went through them and what a contrariety of emotion they excited Her feelings as she read were scarcely to be defined With amazement did she first understand that he believed any apology to be in his power and steadfastly was she persuaded that he could have no explanation to give which a just sense of shame would not conceal With a strong prejudice against everything he might say she began his account of what had happened at Netherfield She read with an eagerness which hardly left her power of comprehension and from impatience of knowing what the next sentence might bring was incapable of attending to the sense of the one before her eyes His belief of her sister 's insensibility she instantly resolved to be false and his account of the real the worst objections to the match made her too angry to have any wish of doing him justice He expressed no regret for what he had done which satisfied her his style was not penitent but haughty It was all pride and insolence {para} But when this subject was succeeded by his account of Mr Wickham when she read with somewhat clearer attention a relation of events which if true must overthrow every cherished opinion of his worth and which bore so alarming an affinity to his own history of himself her feelings were yet more acutely painful and more difficult of definition Astonishment apprehension and even horror oppressed her She wished to discredit it entirely repeatedly exclaiming This must be false {para} This cannot be This must be the grossest falsehood and when she had gone through the whole letter though scarcely knowing anything of the last page or two put it hastily away protesting that she would not regard it that she would never look in it again {para} In this perturbed state of mind with thoughts that could rest on nothing she walked on but it would not do in half a minute the letter was unfolded again and collecting herself as well as she could she again began the mortifying perusal of all that related to Wickham and commanded herself so far as to examine the meaning of every sentence The account of his connection with the Pemberley family was exactly what he had related himself and the kindness of the late Mr Darcy though she had not before known its extent agreed equally well with his own words So far each recital confirmed the other but when she came to the will the difference was great What Wickham had said of the living was fresh in her memory and as she recalled his very words it was impossible not to feel that there was gross duplicity on one side or the other and for a few moments she flattered herself that her wishes did not err But when she read and re read with the closest attention the particulars immediately following of Wickham 's resigning all pretensions to the living of his receiving in lieu so considerable a sum as three thousand pounds again was she forced to hesitate She put down the letter weighed every circumstance with what she meant to be impartiality deliberated on the probability of each statement but with little success On both sides it was only assertion Again she read on but every line proved more clearly that the affair which she had believed it impossible that any contrivance could so represent as to render Mr Darcy 's conduct in it less than infamous was capable of a turn which must make him entirely blameless throughout the whole {para} The extravagance and general profligacy which he scrupled not to lay at Mr Wickham 's charge exceedingly shocked her the more so as she could bring no proof of its injustice She had never heard of him before his entrance into the shire Militia in which he had engaged at the persuasion of the young man who on meeting him accidentally in town had there renewed a slight acquaintance Of his former way of life nothing had been known in Hertfordshire but what he told himself As to his real character had information been in her power she had never felt a wish of inquiring His countenance voice and manner had established him at once in the possession of every virtue She {para} tried to recollect some instance of goodness some distinguished trait of integrity or benevolence that might rescue him from the attacks of Mr Darcy or at least by the predominance of virtue atone for those casual errors under which she would endeavour to class what Mr Darcy had described as the idleness and vice of many years continuance But no such recollection befriended her She could see him instantly before her in every charm of air and address but she could remember no more substantial good than the general approbation of the neighbourhood and the regard which his social powers had gained him in the mess After pausing on this point a considerable while she once more continued to read But alas the story which followed of his designs on Miss Darcy received some confirmation from what had passed between Colonel Fitzwilliam and herself only the morning before and at last she was referred for the truth of every particular to Colonel Fitzwilliam himself from whom she had previously received the information of his near concern in all his cousin 's affairs and whose character she had no reason to question At one time she had almost resolved on applying to him but the idea was checked by the awkwardness of the application and at length wholly banished by the conviction that Mr Darcy would never have hazarded such a proposal if he had not been well assured of his cousin 's corroboration {para} She perfectly remembered everything that had passed in conversation between Wickham and herself in their first evening at Mr Phillips 's Many of his expressions were still fresh in her memory She was NOW struck with the impropriety of such communications to a stranger and wondered it had escaped her before She saw the indelicacy of putting himself forward as he had done and the inconsistency of his professions with his conduct She remembered that he had boasted of having no fear of seeing Mr Darcy that Mr Darcy might leave the country but that HE should stand his ground yet he had avoided the Netherfield ball the very next week She remembered also that till the Netherfield family had quitted the country he had told his story to no one but herself but that after their removal it had been everywhere discussed that he had then no reserves no scruples in sinking Mr Darcy 's character though he had assured her that respect for the father would always prevent his exposing the son {para} How differently did everything now appear in which he was concerned His attentions to Miss King were now the consequence of views solely and hatefully mercenary and the {para} mediocrity of her fortune proved no longer the moderation of his wishes but his eagerness to grasp at anything His behaviour to herself could now have had no tolerable motive he had either been deceived with regard to her fortune or had been gratifying his vanity by encouraging the preference which she believed she had most incautiously shown Every lingering struggle in his favour grew fainter and fainter and in farther justification of Mr Darcy she could not but allow Mr Bingley when questioned by Jane had long ago asserted his blamelessness in the affair that proud and repulsive as were his manners she had never in the whole course of their acquaintance an acquaintance which had latterly brought them much together and given her a sort of intimacy with his ways seen anything that betrayed him to be unprincipled or unjust anything that spoke him of irreligious or immoral habits that among his own connections he was esteemed and valued that even Wickham had allowed him merit as a brother and that she had often heard him speak so affectionately of his sister as to prove him capable of some amiable feeling that had his actions been what Mr Wickham represented them so gross a violation of everything right could hardly have been concealed from the world and that friendship between a person capable of it and such an amiable man as Bingley was incomprehensible {para} She grew absolutely ashamed of herself Of neither Darcy nor Wickham could she think without feeling she had been blind partial prejudiced absurd {para} How despicably I have acted she cried I who have prided myself on my discernment I who have valued myself on my abilities who have often disdained the generous candour of my sister and gratified my vanity in useless or blameable mistrust How humiliating is this discovery yet how just a humiliation Had I been in love I could not have been more wretchedly blind But vanity not love has been my folly Pleased with the preference of one and offended by the neglect of the other on the very beginning of our acquaintance I have courted prepossession and ignorance and driven reason away where either were concerned Till this moment I never knew myself {para} From herself to Jane from Jane to Bingley her thoughts were in a line which soon brought to her recollection that Mr Darcy 's explanation THERE had appeared very insufficient and she read it again Widely different was the effect of a second perusal How could she deny that credit to his assertions in one instance {para} which she had been obliged to give in the other He declared himself to be totally unsuspicious of her sister 's attachment and she could not help remembering what Charlotte 's opinion had always been Neither could she deny the justice of his description of Jane She felt that Jane 's feelings though fervent were little displayed and that there was a constant complacency in her air and manner not often united with great sensibility {para} When she came to that part of the letter in which her family were mentioned in terms of such mortifying yet merited reproach her sense of shame was severe The justice of the charge struck her too forcibly for denial and the circumstances to which he particularly alluded as having passed at the Netherfield ball and as confirming all his first disapprobation could not have made a stronger impression on his mind than on hers {para} The compliment to herself and her sister was not unfelt It soothed but it could not console her for the contempt which had thus been self attracted by the rest of her family and as she considered that Jane 's disappointment had in fact been the work of her nearest relations and reflected how materially the credit of both must be hurt by such impropriety of conduct she felt depressed beyond anything she had ever known before {para} After wandering along the lane for two hours giving way to every variety of thought re considering events determining probabilities and reconciling herself as well as she could to a change so sudden and so important fatigue and a recollection of her long absence made her at length return home and she entered the house with the wish of appearing cheerful as usual and the resolution of repressing such reflections as must make her unfit for conversation {para} She was immediately told that the two gentlemen from Rosings had each called during her absence Mr Darcy only for a few minutes to take leave but that Colonel Fitzwilliam had been sitting with them at least an hour hoping for her return and almost resolving to walk after her till she could be found Elizabeth could but just AFFECT concern in missing him she really rejoiced at it Colonel Fitzwilliam was no longer an object she could think only of her letter {para} Chapter 37 {para} The two gentlemen left Rosings the next morning and Mr Collins having been in waiting near the lodges to make them his parting obeisance was able to bring home the pleasing intelligence of their appearing in very good health and in as tolerable spirits as could be expected after the melancholy scene so lately gone through at Rosings To Rosings he then hastened to console Lady Catherine and her daughter and on his return brought back with great satisfaction a message from her ladyship importing that she felt herself so dull as to make her very desirous of having them all to dine with her {para} Elizabeth could not see Lady Catherine without recollecting that had she chosen it she might by this time have been presented to her as her future niece nor could she think without a smile of what her ladyship 's indignation would have been What would she have said how would she have behaved were questions with which she amused herself {para} Their first subject was the diminution of the Rosings party I assure you I feel it exceedingly said Lady Catherine I believe no one feels the loss of friends so much as I do But I am particularly attached to these young men and know them to be so much attached to me They were excessively sorry to go But so they always are The dear Colonel rallied his spirits tolerably till just at last but Darcy seemed to feel it most acutely more I think than last year His attachment to Rosings certainly increases {para} Mr Collins had a compliment and an allusion to throw in here which were kindly smiled on by the mother and daughter {para} Lady Catherine observed after dinner that Miss Bennet seemed out of spirits And immediately accounting for it by herself by supposing that she did not like to go home again so soon she added {para} But if that is the case you must write to your mother and beg that you may stay a little longer Mrs Collins will be very glad of your company I am sure {para} I am much obliged to your ladyship for your kind invitation replied Elizabeth but it is not in my power to accept it I must be in town next Saturday {para} Why at that rate you will have been here only six weeks I expected you to stay two months I told Mrs Collins so before you came There can be no occasion for your going so soon Mrs Bennet could certainly spare you for another fortnight {para} But my father cannot He wrote last week to hurry my return {para} Oh your father of course may spare you if your mother can Daughters are never of so much consequence to a father And if you will stay another MONTH complete it will be in my power to take one of you as far as London for I am going there early in June for a week and as Dawson does not object to the barouche box there will be very good room for one of you and indeed if the weather should happen to be cool I should not object to taking you both as you are neither of you large {para} You are all kindness madam but I believe we must abide by our original plan {para} Lady Catherine seemed resigned Mrs Collins you must send a servant with them You know I always speak my mind and I cannot bear the idea of two young women travelling post by themselves It is highly improper You must contrive to send somebody I have the greatest dislike in the world to that sort of thing Young women should always be properly guarded and attended according to their situation in life When my niece Georgiana went to Ramsgate last summer I made a point of her having two men servants go with her Miss Darcy the daughter of Mr Darcy of Pemberley and Lady Anne could not have appeared with propriety in a different manner I am excessively attentive to all those things You must send John with the young ladies Mrs Collins I am glad it occurred to me to mention it for it would really be discreditable to YOU to let them go alone {para} My uncle is to send a servant for us {para} Oh Your uncle He keeps a man servant does he I am very glad you have somebody who thinks of these things Where shall you change horses Oh Bromley of course If you mention my name at the Bell you will be attended to {para} Lady Catherine had many other questions to ask respecting their journey and as she did not answer them all herself attention was necessary which Elizabeth believed to be lucky for her or with {para} a mind so occupied she might have forgotten where she was {para} Reflection must be reserved for solitary hours whenever she was alone she gave way to it as the greatest relief and not a day went by without a solitary walk in which she might indulge in all the delight of unpleasant recollections {para} Mr Darcy 's letter she was in a fair way of soon knowing by heart She studied every sentence and her feelings towards its writer were at times widely different When she remembered the style of his address she was still full of indignation but when she considered how unjustly she had condemned and upbraided him her anger was turned against herself and his disappointed feelings became the object of compassion His attachment excited gratitude his general character respect but she could not approve him nor could she for a moment repent her refusal or feel the slightest inclination ever to see him again In her own past behaviour there was a constant source of vexation and regret and in the unhappy defects of her family a constant source of vexation and regret and in the unhappy defects of her family a subject of yet heavier chagrin They were hopeless of remedy Her father contented with laughing at them would never exert himself to restrain the wild giddiness of his youngest daughters and her mother with manners so far from right herself was entirely insensible of the evil Elizabeth had frequently united with Jane in an endeavour to check the imprudence of Catherine and Lydia but while they were supported by their mother 's indulgence what chance could there be of improvement Catherine weak spirited irritable and completely under Lydia 's guidance had been always affronted by their advice and Lydia self willed and careless would scarcely give them a hearing They were ignorant idle and vain While there was an officer in Meryton they would flirt with him and while Meryton was within a walk of Longbourn they would be going there forever {para} Anxiety on Jane 's behalf was another prevailing concern and Mr Darcy 's explanation by restoring Bingley to all her former good opinion heightened the sense of what Jane had lost His affection was proved to have been sincere and his conduct cleared of all blame unless any could attach to the implicitness of his confidence in his friend How grievous then was the thought that of a situation so desirable in every respect so replete with advantage so promising for happiness Jane had been deprived by the folly and indecorum of her own family {para} Their engagements at Rosings were as frequent during the last week of her stay as they had been at first The very last evening was spent there and her ladyship again inquired minutely into the particulars of their journey gave them directions as to the best method of packing and was so urgent on the necessity of placing gowns in the only right way that Maria thought herself obliged on her return to undo all the work of the morning and pack her trunk afresh {para} When they parted Lady Catherine with great condescension wished them a good journey and invited them to come to Hunsford again next year and Miss de Bourgh exerted herself so far as to curtsey and hold out her hand to both {para} Chapter 38 {para} On Saturday morning Elizabeth and Mr Collins met for breakfast a few minutes before the others appeared and he took the opportunity of paying the parting civilities which he deemed indispensably necessary {para} I know not Miss Elizabeth said he whether Mrs Collins has yet expressed her sense of your kindness in coming to us but I am very certain you will not leave the house without receiving her thanks for it The favor of your company has been much felt I assure you We know how little there is to tempt any one to our humble abode Our plain manner of living our small rooms and few domestics and the little we see of the world must make Hunsford extremely dull to a young lady like yourself but I hope you will believe us grateful for the condescension and that we have done everything in our power to prevent your spending your time unpleasantly {para} Elizabeth was eager with her thanks and assurances of happiness She had spent six weeks with great enjoyment and the pleasure of being with Charlotte and the kind attentions she had received must make HER feel the obliged Mr Collins was gratified and with a more smiling solemnity replied {para} It gives me great pleasure to hear that you have passed your time not disagreeably We have certainly done our best and most fortunately having it in our power to introduce you to very superior society and from our connection with Rosings the {para} frequent means of varying the humble home scene I think we may flatter ourselves that your Hunsford visit cannot have been entirely irksome Our situation with regard to Lady Catherine 's family is indeed the sort of extraordinary advantage and blessing which few can boast You see on what a footing we are You see how continually we are engaged there In truth I must acknowledge that with all the disadvantages of this humble parsonage I should not think anyone abiding in it an object of compassion while they are sharers of our intimacy at Rosings {para} Words were insufficient for the elevation of his feelings and he was obliged to walk about the room while Elizabeth tried to unite civility and truth in a few short sentences {para} You may in fact carry a very favourable report of us into Hertfordshire my dear cousin I flatter myself at least that you will be able to do so Lady Catherine 's great attentions to Mrs Collins you have been a daily witness of and altogether I trust it does not appear that your friend has drawn an unfortunate But on this point it will be as well to be silent Only let me assure you my dear Miss Elizabeth that I can from my heart most cordially wish you equal felicity in marriage My dear Charlotte and I have but one mind and one way of thinking There is in everything a most remarkable resemblance of character and ideas between us We seem to have been designed for each other {para} Elizabeth could safely say that it was a great happiness where that was the case and with equal sincerity could add that she firmly believed and rejoiced in his domestic comforts She was not sorry however to have the recital of them interrupted by the lady from whom they sprang Poor Charlotte it was melancholy to leave her to such society But she had chosen it with her eyes open and though evidently regretting that her visitors were to go she did not seem to ask for compassion Her home and her housekeeping her parish and her poultry and all their dependent concerns had not yet lost their charms {para} At length the chaise arrived the trunks were fastened on the parcels placed within and it was pronounced to be ready After an affectionate parting between the friends Elizabeth was attended to the carriage by Mr Collins and as they walked down the garden he was commissioning her with his best respects to all her family not forgetting his thanks for the kindness he had received at Longbourn in the winter and his {para} compliments to Mr and Mrs Gardiner though unknown He then handed her in Maria followed and the door was on the point of being closed when he suddenly reminded them with some consternation that they had hitherto forgotten to leave any message for the ladies at Rosings {para} But he added you will of course wish to have your humble respects delivered to them with your grateful thanks for their kindness to you while you have been here {para} Elizabeth made no objection the door was then allowed to be shut and the carriage drove off {para} Good gracious cried Maria after a few minutes silence it seems but a day or two since we first came and yet how many things have happened {para} A great many indeed said her companion with a sigh {para} We have dined nine times at Rosings besides drinking tea there twice How much I shall have to tell {para} Elizabeth added privately And how much I shall have to conceal {para} Their journey was performed without much conversation or any alarm and within four hours of their leaving Hunsford they reached Mr Gardiner 's house where they were to remain a few days {para} Jane looked well and Elizabeth had little opportunity of studying her spirits amidst the various engagements which the kindness of her aunt had reserved for them But Jane was to go home with her and at Longbourn there would be leisure enough for observation {para} It was not without an effort meanwhile that she could wait even for Longbourn before she told her sister of Mr Darcy 's proposals To know that she had the power of revealing what would so exceedingly astonish Jane and must at the same time so highly gratify whatever of her own vanity she had not yet been able to reason away was such a temptation to openness as nothing could have conquered but the state of indecision in which she remained as to the extent of what she should communicate and her fear if she once entered on the subject of {para} being hurried into repeating something of Bingley which might only grieve her sister further {para} Chapter 30 {para} It was the second week in May in which the three young ladies set out together from Gracechurch Street for the town of in Hertfordshire and as they drew near the appointed inn where Mr Bennet 's carriage was to meet them they quickly perceived in token of the coachman 's punctuality both Kitty and Lydia looking out of a dining room upstairs These two girls had been above an hour in the place happily employed in visiting an opposite milliner watching the sentinel on guard and dressing a salad and cucumber {para} After welcoming their sisters they triumphantly displayed a table set out with such cold meat as an inn larder usually affords exclaiming Is not this nice Is not this an agreeable surprise {para} And we mean to treat you all added Lydia but you must lend us the money for we have just spent ours at the shop out there Then showing her purchases Look here I have bought this bonnet I do not think it is very pretty but I thought I might as well buy it as not I shall pull it to pieces as soon as I get home and see if I can not make it up any better {para} And when her sisters abused it as ugly she added with perfect unconcern Oh but there were two or three much uglier in the shop and when I have bought some prettier coloured satin to trim it with fresh I think it will be very tolerable Besides it will not much signify what one wears this summer after the shire have left Meryton and they are going in a fortnight {para} Are they indeed cried Elizabeth with the greatest satisfaction {para} They are going to be encamped near Brighton and I do so want papa to take us all there for the summer It would be such a delicious scheme and I dare say would hardly cost anything at all Mamma would like to go too of all things Only think what a miserable summer else we shall have {para} Yes thought Elizabeth THAT would be a delightful scheme indeed and completely do for us at once Good Heaven Brighton and a whole campful of soldiers to us who have been {para} overset already by one poor regiment of militia and the monthly balls of Meryton {para} Now I have got some news for you said Lydia as they sat down at table What do you think It is excellent news capital news and about a certain person we all like {para} Jane and Elizabeth looked at each other and the waiter was told he need not stay Lydia laughed and said {para} Aye that is just like your formality and discretion You thought the waiter must not hear as if he cared I dare say he often hears worse things said than I am going to say But he is an ugly fellow I am glad he is gone I never saw such a long chin in my life Well but now for my news it is about dear Wickham too good for the waiter is it not There is no danger of Wickham 's marrying Mary King There 's for you She is gone down to her uncle at Liverpool gone to stay Wickham is safe {para} And Mary King is safe added Elizabeth safe from a connection imprudent as to fortune {para} She is a great fool for going away if she liked him {para} But I hope there is no strong attachment on either side said Jane {para} I am sure there is not on HIS I will answer for it he never cared three straws about her who could about such a nasty little freckled thing {para} Elizabeth was shocked to think that however incapable of such coarseness of EXPRESSION herself the coarseness of the SENTIMENT was little other than her own breast had harboured and fancied liberal {para} As soon as all had ate and the elder ones paid the carriage was ordered and after some contrivance the whole party with all their boxes work bags and parcels and the unwelcome addition of Kitty 's and Lydia 's purchases were seated in it {para} How nicely we are all crammed in cried Lydia I am glad I bought my bonnet if it is only for the fun of having another bandbox Well now let us be quite comfortable and snug and {para} talk and laugh all the way home And in the first place let us hear what has happened to you all since you went away Have you seen any pleasant men Have you had any flirting I was in great hopes that one of you would have got a husband before you came back Jane will be quite an old maid soon I declare She is almost three and twenty My aunt Phillips wants you so to get husbands you can't think She says Lizzy had better have taken Mr Collins but I do not think there would have been any fun in it Lord how I should like to be married before any of you and then I would chaperon you about to all the balls Dear me we had such a good piece of fun the other day at Colonel Forster 's Kitty and me were to spend the day there and Mrs Forster promised to have a little dance in the evening by the bye Mrs Forster and me are SUCH friends and so she asked the two Harringtons to come but Harriet was ill and so Pen was forced to come by herself and then what do you think we did We dressed up Chamberlayne in woman 's clothes on purpose to pass for a lady only think what fun Not a soul knew of it but Colonel and Mrs Forster and Kitty and me except my aunt for we were forced to borrow one of her gowns and you cannot imagine how well he looked When Denny and Wickham and Pratt and two or three more of the men came in they did not know him in the least Lord how I laughed and so did Mrs Forster I thought I should have died And THAT made the men suspect something and then they soon found out what was the matter {para} With such kinds of histories of their parties and good jokes did Lydia assisted by Kitty 's hints and additions endeavour to amuse her companions all the way to Longbourn Elizabeth listened as little as she could but there was no escaping the frequent mention of Wickham 's name {para} Their reception at home was most kind Mrs Bennet rejoiced to see Jane in undiminished beauty and more than once during dinner did Mr Bennet say voluntarily to Elizabeth {para} I am glad you are come back Lizzy {para} Their party in the dining room was large for almost all the Lucases came to meet Maria and hear the news and various were the subjects that occupied them Lady Lucas was inquiring of Maria after the welfare and poultry of her eldest daughter Mrs Bennet was doubly engaged on one hand collecting an account of the present fashions from Jane who sat some way {para} below her and on the other retailing them all to the younger Lucases and Lydia in a voice rather louder than any other person 's was enumerating the various pleasures of the morning to anybody who would hear her {para} Oh Mary said she I wish you had gone with us for we had such fun As we went along Kitty and I drew up the blinds and pretended there was nobody in the coach and I should have gone so all the way if Kitty had not been sick and when we got to the George I do think we behaved very handsomely for we treated the other three with the nicest cold luncheon in the world and if you would have gone we would have treated you too And then when we came away it was such fun I thought we never should have got into the coach I was ready to die of laughter And then we were so merry all the way home we talked and laughed so loud that anybody might have heard us ten miles off {para} To this Mary very gravely replied Far be it from me my dear sister to depreciate such pleasures They would doubtless be congenial with the generality of female minds But I confess they would have no charms for ME I should infinitely prefer a book {para} But of this answer Lydia heard not a word She seldom listened to anybody for more than half a minute and never attended to Mary at all {para} In the afternoon Lydia was urgent with the rest of the girls to walk to Meryton and to see how everybody went on but Elizabeth steadily opposed the scheme It should not be said that the Miss Bennets could not be at home half a day before they were in pursuit of the officers There was another reason too for her opposition She dreaded seeing Mr Wickham again and was resolved to avoid it as long as possible The comfort to HER of the regiment 's approaching removal was indeed beyond expression In a fortnight they were to go and once gone she hoped there could be nothing more to plague her on his account {para} She had not been many hours at home before she found that the Brighton scheme of which Lydia had given them a hint at the inn was under frequent discussion between her parents Elizabeth saw directly that her father had not the smallest intention of yielding but his answers were at the same time so vague and equivocal that her mother though often {para} disheartened had never yet despaired of succeeding at last {para} Chapter 40 {para} Elizabeth 's impatience to acquaint Jane with what had happened could no longer be overcome and at length resolving to suppress every particular in which her sister was concerned and preparing her to be surprised she related to her the next morning the chief of the scene between Mr Darcy and herself {para} Miss Bennet 's astonishment was soon lessened by the strong sisterly partiality which made any admiration of Elizabeth appear perfectly natural and all surprise was shortly lost in other feelings She was sorry that Mr Darcy should have delivered his sentiments in a manner so little suited to recommend them but still more was she grieved for the unhappiness which her sister 's refusal must have given him {para} His being so sure of succeeding was wrong said she and certainly ought not to have appeared but consider how much it must increase his disappointment {para} Indeed replied Elizabeth I am heartily sorry for him but he has other feelings which will probably soon drive away his regard for me You do not blame me however for refusing him {para} Blame you Oh no {para} But you blame me for having spoken so warmly of Wickham {para} No I do not know that you were wrong in saying what you did {para} But you WILL know it when I tell you what happened the very next day {para} She then spoke of the letter repeating the whole of its contents as far as they concerned George Wickham What a stroke was this for poor Jane who would willingly have gone through the world without believing that so much wickedness existed in the whole race of mankind as was here collected in one individual Nor was Darcy 's vindication though grateful to her feelings {para} capable of consoling her for such discovery Most earnestly did she labour to prove the probability of error and seek to clear the one without involving the other {para} This will not do said Elizabeth you never will be able to make both of them good for anything Take your choice but you must be satisfied with only one There is but such a quantity of merit between them just enough to make one good sort of man and of late it has been shifting about pretty much For my part I am inclined to believe it all Darcy 's but you shall do as you choose {para} It was some time however before a smile could be extorted from Jane {para} I do not know when I have been more shocked said she Wickham so very bad It is almost past belief And poor Mr Darcy Dear Lizzy only consider what he must have suffered Such a disappointment and with the knowledge of your ill opinion too and having to relate such a thing of his sister It is really too distressing I am sure you must feel it so {para} Oh no my regret and compassion are all done away by seeing you so full of both I know you will do him such ample justice that I am growing every moment more unconcerned and indifferent Your profusion makes me saving and if you lament over him much longer my heart will be as light as a feather {para} Poor Wickham there is such an expression of goodness in his countenance such an openness and gentleness in his manner {para} There certainly was some great mismanagement in the education of those two young men One has got all the goodness and the other all the appearance of it {para} I never thought Mr Darcy so deficient in the APPEARANCE of it as you used to do {para} And yet I meant to be uncommonly clever in taking so decided a dislike to him without any reason It is such a spur to one 's genius such an opening for wit to have a dislike of that kind One may be continually abusive without saying anything just but one cannot always be laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty {para} Lizzy when you first read that letter I am sure you could not treat the matter as you do now {para} Indeed I could not I was uncomfortable enough I may say unhappy And with no one to speak to about what I felt no Jane to comfort me and say that I had not been so very weak and vain and nonsensical as I knew I had Oh how I wanted you {para} How unfortunate that you should have used such very strong expressions in speaking of Wickham to Mr Darcy for now they DO appear wholly undeserved {para} Certainly But the misfortune of speaking with bitterness is a most natural consequence of the prejudices I had been encouraging There is one point on which I want your advice I want to be told whether I ought or ought not to make our acquaintances in general understand Wickham 's character {para} Miss Bennet paused a little and then replied Surely there can be no occasion for exposing him so dreadfully What is your opinion {para} That it ought not to be attempted Mr Darcy has not authorised me to make his communication public On the contrary every particular relative to his sister was meant to be kept as much as possible to myself and if I endeavour to undeceive people as to the rest of his conduct who will believe me The general prejudice against Mr Darcy is so violent that it would be the death of half the good people in Meryton to attempt to place him in an amiable light I am not equal to it Wickham will soon be gone and therefore it will not signify to anyone here what he really is Some time hence it will be all found out and then we may laugh at their stupidity in not knowing it before At present I will say nothing about it {para} You are quite right To have his errors made public might ruin him for ever He is now perhaps sorry for what he has done and anxious to re establish a character We must not make him desperate {para} The tumult of Elizabeth 's mind was allayed by this conversation She had got rid of two of the secrets which had weighed on her for a fortnight and was certain of a willing listener in Jane whenever she might wish to talk again of either But there was still something lurking behind of which prudence forbade the {para} disclosure She dared not relate the other half of Mr Darcy 's letter nor explain to her sister how sincerely she had been valued by her friend Here was knowledge in which no one could partake and she was sensible that nothing less than a perfect understanding between the parties could justify her in throwing off this last encumbrance of mystery And then said she if that very improbable event should ever take place I shall merely be able to tell what Bingley may tell in a much more agreeable manner himself The liberty of communication cannot be mine till it has lost all its value {para} She was now on being settled at home at leisure to observe the real state of her sister 's spirits Jane was not happy She still cherished a very tender affection for Bingley Having never even fancied herself in love before her regard had all the warmth of first attachment and from her age and disposition greater steadiness than most first attachments often boast and so fervently did she value his remembrance and prefer him to every other man that all her good sense and all her attention to the feelings of her friends were requisite to check the indulgence of those regrets which must have been injurious to her own health and their tranquillity {para} Well Lizzy said Mrs Bennet one day what is your opinion NOW of this sad business of Jane 's For my part I am determined never to speak of it again to anybody I told my sister Phillips so the other day But I cannot find out that Jane saw anything of him in London Well he is a very undeserving young man and I do not suppose there 's the least chance in the world of her ever getting him now There is no talk of his coming to Netherfield again in the summer and I have inquired of everybody too who is likely to know {para} I do not believe he will ever live at Netherfield any more {para} Oh well it is just as he chooses Nobody wants him to come Though I shall always say he used my daughter extremely ill and if I was her I would not have put up with it Well my comfort is I am sure Jane will die of a broken heart and then he will be sorry for what he has done {para} But as Elizabeth could not receive comfort from any such expectation she made no answer {para} Well Lizzy continued her mother soon afterwards and so {para} the Collinses live very comfortable do they Well well I only hope it will last And what sort of table do they keep Charlotte is an excellent manager I dare say If she is half as sharp as her mother she is saving enough There is nothing extravagant in THEIR housekeeping I dare say {para} No nothing at all {para} A great deal of good management depend upon it Yes yes THEY will take care not to outrun their income THEY will never be distressed for money Well much good may it do them And so I suppose they often talk of having Longbourn when your father is dead They look upon it as quite their own I dare say whenever that happens {para} It was a subject which they could not mention before me {para} No it would have been strange if they had but I make no doubt they often talk of it between themselves Well if they can be easy with an estate that is not lawfully their own so much the better I should be ashamed of having one that was only entailed on me {para} Chapter 41 {para} The first week of their return was soon gone The second began It was the last of the regiment 's stay in Meryton and all the young ladies in the neighbourhood were drooping apace The dejection was almost universal The elder Miss Bennets alone were still able to eat drink and sleep and pursue the usual course of their employments Very frequently were they reproached for this insensibility by Kitty and Lydia whose own misery was extreme and who could not comprehend such hard heartedness in any of the family {para} Good Heaven what is to become of us What are we to do would they often exclaiming the bitterness of woe How can you be smiling so Lizzy {para} Their affectionate mother shared all their grief she remembered what she had herself endured on a similar occasion five and twenty years ago {para} I am sure said she I cried for two days together when Colonel Miller 's regiment went away I thought I should have broken my heart {para} I am sure I shall break MINE said Lydia {para} If one could but go to Brighton observed Mrs Bennet {para} Oh yes if one could but go to Brighton But papa is so disagreeable {para} A little sea bathing would set me up forever {para} And my aunt Phillips is sure it would do ME a great deal of good added Kitty {para} Such were the kind of lamentations resounding perpetually through Longbourn House Elizabeth tried to be diverted by them but all sense of pleasure was lost in shame She felt anew the justice of Mr Darcy 's objections and never had she been so much disposed to pardon his interference in the views of his friend {para} But the gloom of Lydia 's prospect was shortly cleared away for she received an invitation from Mrs Forster the wife of the colonel of the regiment to accompany her to Brighton This invaluable friend was a very young woman and very lately married A resemblance in good humour and good spirits had recommended her and Lydia to each other and out of their THREE months acquaintance they had been intimate TWO {para} The rapture of Lydia on this occasion her adoration of Mrs Forster the delight of Mrs Bennet and the mortification of Kitty are scarcely to be described Wholly inattentive to her sister 's feelings Lydia flew about the house in restless ecstasy calling for every one 's congratulations and laughing and talking with more violence than ever whilst the luckless Kitty continued in the parlour repined at her fate in terms as unreasonable as her accent was peevish {para} I cannot see why Mrs Forster should not ask ME as well as Lydia said she Though I am NOT her particular friend I have just as much right to be asked as she has and more too for I am two years older {para} In vain did Elizabeth attempt to make her reasonable and Jane to make her resigned As for Elizabeth herself this invitation was so far from exciting in her the same feelings as in her mother and Lydia that she considered it as the death warrant of all possibility of common sense for the latter and detestable as such a step must make her were it known she could not help secretly advising her father not to let her go She represented to him all the improprieties of Lydia 's general behaviour the little advantage she could derive from the friendship of such a woman as Mrs Forster and the probability of her being yet more imprudent with such a companion at Brighton where the temptations must be greater than at home He heard her attentively and then said {para} Lydia will never be easy until she has exposed herself in some public place or other and we can never expect her to do it with so little expense or inconvenience to her family as under the present circumstances {para} If you were aware said Elizabeth of the very great disadvantage to us all which must arise from the public notice of Lydia 's unguarded and imprudent manner nay which has already arisen from it I am sure you would judge differently in the affair {para} Already arisen repeated Mr Bennet What has she frightened away some of your lovers Poor little Lizzy But do not be cast down Such squeamish youths as cannot bear to be connected with a little absurdity are not worth a regret Come let me see the list of pitiful fellows who have been kept aloof by Lydia 's folly {para} Indeed you are mistaken I have no such injuries to resent It is not of particular but of general evils which I am now complaining Our importance our respectability in the world must be affected by the wild volatility the assurance and disdain of all restraint which mark Lydia 's character Excuse me for I must speak plainly If you my dear father will not take the trouble of checking her exuberant spirits and of teaching her that her present pursuits are not to be the business of her life she will soon be beyond the reach of amendment Her character will be fixed and she will at sixteen be the most determined flirt that ever made herself or her family ridiculous a flirt too in the worst and meanest degree of flirtation without any attraction beyond youth and a tolerable person and from the ignorance {para} and emptiness of her mind wholly unable to ward off any portion of that universal contempt which her rage for admiration will excite In this danger Kitty also is comprehended She will follow wherever Lydia leads Vain ignorant idle and absolutely uncontrolled Oh my dear father can you suppose it possible that they will not be censured and despised wherever they are known and that their sisters will not be often involved in the disgrace {para} Mr Bennet saw that her whole heart was in the subject and affectionately taking her hand said in reply {para} Do not make yourself uneasy my love Wherever you and Jane are known you must be respected and valued and you will not appear to less advantage for having a couple of or I may say three very silly sisters We shall have no peace at Longbourn if Lydia does not go to Brighton Let her go then Colonel Forster is a sensible man and will keep her out of any real mischief and she is luckily too poor to be an object of prey to anybody At Brighton she will be of less importance even as a common flirt than she has been here The officers will find women better worth their notice Let us hope therefore that her being there may teach her her own insignificance At any rate she cannot grow many degrees worse without authorising us to lock her up for the rest of her life {para} With this answer Elizabeth was forced to be content but her own opinion continued the same and she left him disappointed and sorry It was not in her nature however to increase her vexations by dwelling on them She was confident of having performed her duty and to fret over unavoidable evils or augment them by anxiety was no part of her disposition {para} Had Lydia and her mother known the substance of her conference with her father their indignation would hardly have found expression in their united volubility In Lydia 's imagination a visit to Brighton comprised ever possibility of earthly happiness She saw with the creative eye of fancy the streets of that gay bathing place covered with officers She saw herself the object to tens and to scores of them at present unknown She saw all the glories of the camp its tents stretched forth in beauteous uniformity of lines crowded with the young and the gay and dazzling with scarlet and to complete the view she saw herself seated beneath a tent tenderly flirting with at least six officers at once {para} Had she known her sister sought to tear her from such prospects and such realities as these what would have been her sensations They could have been understood only by her mother who might have felt nearly the same Lydia 's going to Brighton was all that consoled her for her melancholy conviction of her husband 's never intending to go there himself {para} But they were entirely ignorant of what had passed and their raptures continued with little intermission to the very day of Lydia 's leaving home {para} Elizabeth was now to see Mr Wickham for the last time Having been frequently in company with him since her return agitation was pretty well over the agitations of formal partiality entirely so She had even learnt to detect in the very gentleness which had first delighted her an affectation and a sameness to disgust and weary In his present behaviour to herself moreover she had a fresh source of displeasure for the inclination he soon testified of renewing those intentions which had marked the early part of their acquaintance could only serve after what had since passed to provoke her She lost all concern for him in finding herself thus selected as the object of such idle and frivolous gallantry and while she steadily repressed it could not but feel the reproof contained in his believing that however long and for whatever cause his attentions had been withdrawn her vanity would be gratified and her preference secured at any time by their renewal {para} On the very last day of the regiment 's remaining at Meryton he dined with other of the officers at Longbourn and so little was Elizabeth disposed to part from him in good humour that on his making some inquiry as to the manner in which her time had passed at Hunsford she mentioned Colonel Fitzwilliam 's and Mr Darcy 's having both spent three weeks at Rosings and asked him if he was acquainted with the former {para} He looked surprised displeased alarmed but with a moment 's recollection and a returning smile replied that he had formerly seen him often and after observing that he was a very gentlemanlike man asked her how she had liked him Her answer was warmly in his favour With an air of indifference he soon afterwards added {para} How long did you say he was at Rosings {para} Nearly three weeks {para} And you saw him frequently {para} Yes almost every day {para} His manners are very different from his cousin 's {para} Yes very different But I think Mr Darcy improves upon acquaintance {para} Indeed cried Mr Wickham with a look which did not escape her And pray may I ask But checking himself he added in a gayer tone Is it in address that he improves Has he deigned to add aught of civility to his ordinary style for I dare not hope he continued in a lower and more serious tone that he is improved in essentials {para} Oh no said Elizabeth In essentials I believe he is very much what he ever was {para} While she spoke Wickham looked as if scarcely knowing whether to rejoice over her words or to distrust their meaning There was a something in her countenance which made him listen with an apprehensive and anxious attention while she added {para} When I said that he improved on acquaintance I did not mean that his mind or his manners were in a state of improvement but that from knowing him better his disposition was better understood {para} Wickham 's alarm now appeared in a heightened complexion and agitated look for a few minuted he was silent till shaking off his embarrassment he turned to her again and said in the gentlest of accents {para} You who so well know my feeling towards Mr Darcy will readily comprehend how sincerely I must rejoice that he is wise enough to assume even the APPEARANCE of what is right His pride in that direction may be of service if not to himself to many others for it must only deter him from such foul misconduct as I have suffered by I only fear that the sort of cautiousness to which you I imagine have been alluding is merely adopted on his visits to his aunt of whose good opinion {para} and judgement he stands much in awe His fear of her has always operated I know when they were together and a good deal is to be imputed to his wish of forwarding the match with Miss de Bourgh which I am certain he has very much at heart {para} Elizabeth could not repress a smile at this but she answered only by a slight inclination of the head She saw that he wanted to engage her on the old subject of his grievances and she was in no humour to indulge him The rest of the evening passed with the APPEARANCE on his side of usual cheerfulness but with no further attempt to distinguish Elizabeth and they parted at last with mutual civility and possibly a mutual desire of never meeting again {para} When the party broke up Lydia returned with Mrs Forster to Meryton from whence they were to set out early the next morning The separation between her and her family was rather noisy than pathetic Kitty was the only one who shed tears but she did weep from vexation and envy Mrs Bennet was diffuse in her good wishes for the felicity of her daughter and impressive in her injunctions that she should not miss the opportunity of enjoying herself as much as possible advice which there was every reason to believe would be well attended to and in the clamorous happiness of Lydia herself in bidding farewell the more gentle adieux of her sisters were uttered without being heard {para} Chapter 42 {para} Had Elizabeth 's opinion been all drawn from her own family she could not have formed a very pleasing opinion of conjugal felicity or domestic comfort Her father captivated by youth and beauty and that appearance of good humour which youth and beauty generally give had married a woman whose weak understanding and illiberal mind had very early in their marriage put and end to all real affection for her Respect esteem and confidence had vanished for ever and all his views of domestic happiness were overthrown But Mr Bennet was not of a disposition to seek comfort for the disappointment which his own imprudence had brought on in any of those pleasures which too often console the unfortunate for their folly of their vice He was fond of the country and of books and from these tastes had arisen his principal enjoyments To his wife he was very little {para} otherwise indebted than as her ignorance and folly had contributed to his amusement This is not the sort of happiness which a man would in general wish to owe to his wife but where other powers of entertainment are wanting the true philosopher will derive benefit from such as are given {para} Elizabeth however had never been blind to the impropriety of her father 's behaviour as a husband She had always seen it with pain but respecting his abilities and grateful for his affectionate treatment of herself she endeavoured to forget what she could not overlook and to banish from her thoughts that continual breach of conjugal obligation and decorum which in exposing his wife to the contempt of her own children was so highly reprehensible But she had never felt so strongly as now the disadvantages which must attend the children of so unsuitable a marriage nor ever been so fully aware of the evils arising from so ill judged a direction of talents talents which rightly used might at least have preserved the respectability of his daughters even if incapable of enlarging the mind of his wife {para} When Elizabeth had rejoiced over Wickham 's departure she found little other cause for satisfaction in the loss of the regiment Their parties abroad were less varied than before and at home she had a mother and sister whose constant repinings at the dullness of everything around them threw a real gloom over their domestic circle and though Kitty might in time regain her natural degree of sense since the disturbers of her brain were removed her other sister from whose disposition greater evil might be apprehended was likely to be hardened in all her folly and assurance by a situation of such double danger as a watering place and a camp Upon the whole therefore she found what has been sometimes been found before that an event to which she had been looking with impatient desire did not in taking place bring all the satisfaction she had promised herself It was consequently necessary to name some other period for the commencement of actual felicity to have some other point on which her wishes and hopes might be fixed and by again enjoying the pleasure of anticipation console herself for the present and prepare for another disappointment Her tour to the Lakes was now the object of her happiest thoughts it was her best consolation for all the uncomfortable hours which the discontentedness of her mother and Kitty made inevitable and could she have included Jane in the scheme every part of it would have been perfect {para} But it is fortunate thought she that I have something to wish for Were the whole arrangement complete my disappointment would be certain But here by carrying with me one ceaseless source of regret in my sister 's absence I may reasonably hope to have all my expectations of pleasure realised A scheme of which every part promises delight can never be successful and general disappointment is only warded off by the defence of some little peculiar vexation {para} When Lydia went away she promised to write very often and very minutely to her mother and Kitty but her letters were always long expected and always very short Those to her mother contained little else than that they were just returned from the library where such and such officers had attended them and where she had seen such beautiful ornaments as made her quite wild that she had a new gown or a new parasol which she would have described more fully but was obliged to leave off in a violent hurry as Mrs Forster called her and they were going off to the camp and from her correspondence with her sister there was still less to be learnt for her letters to Kitty though rather longer were much too full of lines under the words to be made public {para} After the first fortnight or three weeks of her absence health good humour and cheerfulness began to reappear at Longbourn Everything wore a happier aspect The families who had been in town for the winter came back again and summer finery and summer engagements arose Mrs Bennet was restored to her usual querulous serenity and by the middle of June Kitty was so much recovered as to be able to enter Meryton without tears an event of such happy promise as to make Elizabeth hope that by the following Christmas she might be so tolerably reasonable as not to mention an officer above once a day unless by some cruel and malicious arrangement at the War Office another regiment should be quartered in Meryton {para} The time fixed for the beginning of their northern tour was now fast approaching and a fortnight only was wanting of it when a letter arrived from Mrs Gardiner which at once delayed its commencement and curtailed its extent Mr Gardiner would be prevented by business from setting out till a fortnight later in July and must be in London again within a month and as that left too short a period for them to go so far and see so much as they had proposed or at least to see it with the leisure and comfort they had built on they were obliged to give up the {para} Lakes and substitute a more contracted tour and according to the present plan were to go no farther northwards than Derbyshire In that county there was enough to be seen to occupy the chief of their three weeks and to Mrs Gardiner it had a peculiarly strong attraction The town where she had formerly passed some years of her life and where they were now to spend a few days was probably as great an object of her curiosity as all the celebrated beauties of Matlock Chatsworth Dovedale or the Peak {para} Elizabeth was excessively disappointed she had set her heart on seeing the Lakes and still thought there might have been time enough But it was her business to be satisfied and certainly her temper to be happy and all was soon right again {para} With the mention of Derbyshire there were many ideas connected It was impossible for her to see the word without thinking of Pemberley and its owner But surely said she I may enter his county without impunity and rob it of a few petrified spars without his perceiving me {para} The period of expectation was now doubled Four weeks were to pass away before her uncle and aunt 's arrival But they did pass away and Mr and Mrs Gardiner with their four children did at length appear at Longbourn The children two girls of six and eight years old and two younger boys were to be left under the particular care of their cousin Jane who was the general favourite and whose steady sense and sweetness of temper exactly adapted her for attending to them in every way teaching them playing with them and loving them {para} The Gardiners stayed only one night at Longbourn and set off the next morning with Elizabeth in pursuit of novelty and amusement One enjoyment was certain that of suitableness of companions a suitableness which comprehended health and temper to bear inconveniences cheerfulness to enhance every pleasure and affection and intelligence which might supply it among themselves if there were disappointments abroad {para} It is not the object of this work to give a description of Derbyshire nor of any of the remarkable places through which their route thither lay Oxford Blenheim Warwick Kenilworth Birmingham &c are sufficiently known A small part of Derbyshire is all the present concern To the little town of Lambton the scene of Mrs Gardiner 's former residence and {para} where she had lately learned some acquaintance still remained they bent their steps after having seen all the principal wonders of the country and within five miles of Lambton Elizabeth found from her aunt that Pemberley was situated It was not in their direct road nor more than a mile or two out of it In talking over their route the evening before Mrs Gardiner expressed an inclination to see the place again Mr Gardiner declared his willingness and Elizabeth was applied to for her approbation {para} My love should not you like to see a place of which you have heard so much said her aunt a place too with which so many of your acquaintances are connected Wickham passed all his youth there you know {para} Elizabeth was distressed She felt that she had no business at Pemberley and was obliged to assume a disinclination for seeing it She must own that she was tired of seeing great houses after going over so many she really had no pleasure in fine carpets or satin curtains {para} Mrs Gardiner abused her stupidity If it were merely a fine house richly furnished said she I should not care about it myself but the grounds are delightful They have some of the finest woods in the country {para} Elizabeth said no more but her mind could not acquiesce The possibility of meeting Mr Darcy while viewing the place instantly occurred It would be dreadful She blushed at the very idea and thought it would be better to speak openly to her aunt than to run such a risk But against this there were objections and she finally resolved that it could be the last resource if her private inquiries to the absence of the family were unfavourably answered {para} Accordingly when she retired at night she asked the chambermaid whether Pemberley were not a very fine place what was the name of its proprietor and with no little alarm whether the family were down for the summer A most welcome negative followed the last question and her alarms now being removed she was at leisure to feel a great deal of curiosity to see the house herself and when the subject was revived the next morning and she was again applied to could readily answer and with a proper air of indifference that she had not really any dislike to the scheme To Pemberley therefore they were to go {para} Chapter 43 {para} Elizabeth as they drove along watched for the first appearance of Pemberley Woods with some perturbation and when at length they turned in at the lodge her spirits were in a high flutter {para} The park was very large and contained great variety of ground They entered it in one of its lowest points and drove for some time through a beautiful wood stretching over a wide extent {para} Elizabeth 's mind was too full for conversation but she saw and admired every remarkable spot and point of view They gradually ascended for half a mile and then found themselves at the top of a considerable eminence where the wood ceased and the eye was instantly caught by Pemberley House situated on the opposite side of a valley into which the road with some abruptness wound It was a large handsome stone building standing well on rising ground and backed by a ridge of high woody hills and in front a stream of some natural importance was swelled into greater but without any artificial appearance Its banks were neither formal nor falsely adorned Elizabeth was delighted She had never seen a place for which nature had done more or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by an awkward taste They were all of them warm in their admiration and at that moment she felt that to be mistress of Pemberley might be something {para} They descended the hill crossed the bridge and drove to the door and while examining the nearer aspect of the house all her apprehension of meeting its owner returned She dreaded lest the chambermaid had been mistaken On applying to see the place they were admitted into the hall and Elizabeth as they waited for the housekeeper had leisure to wonder at her being where she was {para} The housekeeper came a respectable looking elderly woman much less fine and more civil than she had any notion of finding her They followed her into the dining parlour It was a large well proportioned room handsomely fitted up Elizabeth after slightly surveying it went to a window to enjoy its prospect The hill crowned with wood which they had descended receiving increased abruptness from the distance was a beautiful object Every disposition of the ground was good and she looked on the whole scene the river the trees scattered on its banks and the winding of the valley as far as she could trace it with delight As they passed into other rooms these objects were taking different positions but from every window there were beauties to be seen The rooms were lofty and handsome and their furniture suitable to the fortune of its proprietor but Elizabeth saw with admiration of his taste that it was neither gaudy nor uselessly fine with less of splendour and more real elegance than the furniture of Rosings {para} And of this place thought she I might have been mistress With these rooms I might now have been familiarly acquainted Instead of viewing them as a stranger I might have rejoiced in them as my own and welcomed to them as visitors my uncle and aunt But no recollecting herself that could never be my uncle and aunt would have been lost to me I should not have been allowed to invite them {para} This was a lucky recollection it saved her from something very like regret {para} She longed to inquire of the housekeeper whether her master was really absent but had not the courage for it At length however the question was asked by her uncle and she turned away with alarm while Mrs Reynolds replied that he was adding But we expect him to morrow with a large party of friends How rejoiced was Elizabeth that their own journey had not by any circumstance been delayed a day {para} Her aunt now called her to look at a picture She approached and saw the likeness of Mr Wickham suspended amongst several other miniatures over the mantelpiece Her aunt asked her smilingly how she liked it The housekeeper came forward and told them it was a picture of a young gentleman the son of her late master 's steward who had been brought up by him at his own expense He is now gone into the army she added but I am afraid he has turned out very wild {para} Mrs Gardiner looked at her niece with a smile but Elizabeth could not return it {para} And that said Mrs Reynolds pointing to another of the miniatures is my master and very like him It was drawn at the same time as the other about eight years ago {para} I have heard much of your master 's fine person said Mrs Gardiner looking at the picture it is a handsome face But Lizzy you can tell us whether it is like or not {para} Mrs Reynolds respect for Elizabeth seemed to increase on this intimation of her knowing her master {para} Does that young lady know Mr Darcy {para} Elizabeth coloured and said A little {para} And do not you think him a very handsome gentleman ma'am {para} Yes very handsome {para} I am sure I know none so handsome but in the gallery upstairs you will see a finer larger picture of him than this This room was my late master 's favourite room and these miniatures are just as they used to be then He was very fond of them {para} This accounted to Elizabeth for Mr Wickham 's being among them {para} Mrs Reynolds then directed their attention to one of Miss Darcy drawn when she was only eight years old {para} And is Miss Darcy as handsome as her brother said Mrs Gardiner {para} Oh yes the handsomest young lady that ever was seen and so accomplished She plays and sings all day long In the next room is a new instrument just come down for her a present from my master she comes here to morrow with him {para} Mr Gardiner whose manners were very easy and pleasant encouraged her communicativeness by his questions and remarks Mrs Reynolds either by pride or attachment had evidently great pleasure in talking of her master and his sister {para} Is your master much at Pemberley in the course of the year {para} Not so much as I could wish sir but I dare say he may spend half his time here and Miss Darcy is always down for the summer months {para} Except thought Elizabeth when she goes to Ramsgate {para} If your master would marry you might see more of him {para} Yes sir but I do not know when THAT will be I do not know who is good enough for him {para} Mr and Mrs Gardiner smiled Elizabeth could not help saying It is very much to his credit I am sure that you should think so {para} I say no more than the truth and everybody will say that knows him replied the other Elizabeth thought this was going pretty far and she listened with increasing astonishment as the housekeeper added I have never known a cross word from him in my life and I have known him ever since he was four years old {para} This was praise of all others most extraordinary most opposite to her ideas That he was not a good tempered man had been her firmest opinion Her keenest attention was awakened she longed to hear more and was grateful to her uncle for saying {para} There are very few people of whom so much can be said You are lucky in having such a master {para} Yes sir I know I am If I were to go through the world I could not meet with a better But I have always observed that they who are good natured when children are good natured when they grow up and he was always the sweetest tempered most generous hearted boy in the world {para} Elizabeth almost stared at her Can this be Mr Darcy thought she {para} His father was an excellent man said Mrs Gardiner {para} Yes ma'am that he was indeed and his son will be just like him just as affable to the poor {para} Elizabeth listened wondered doubted and was impatient for more Mrs Reynolds could interest her on no other point She related the subjects of the pictures the dimensions of the rooms and the price of the furniture in vain Mr Gardiner highly amused by the kind of family prejudice to which he attributed her excessive commendation of her master soon led again to the subject and she dwelt with energy on his many merits as they proceeded together up the great staircase {para} He is the best landlord and the best master said she that ever lived not like the wild young men nowadays who think of nothing but themselves There is not one of his tenants or servants but will give him a good name Some people call him proud but I am sure I never saw anything of it To my fancy it is only because he does not rattle away like other young men {para} In what an amiable light does this place him thought Elizabeth {para} This fine account of him whispered her aunt as they walked is not quite consistent with his behaviour to our poor friend {para} Perhaps we might be deceived {para} That is not very likely our authority was too good {para} On reaching the spacious lobby above they were shown into a very pretty sitting room lately fitted up with greater elegance and lightness than the apartments below and were informed that it was but just done to give pleasure to Miss Darcy who had taken a liking to the room when last at Pemberley {para} He is certainly a good brother said Elizabeth as she walked towards one of the windows {para} Mrs Reynolds anticipated Miss Darcy 's delight when she should enter the room And this is always the way with him she added Whatever can give his sister any pleasure is sure to be done in a moment There is nothing he would not do for her {para} The picture gallery and two or three of the principal bedrooms were all that remained to be shown In the former were many good paintings but Elizabeth knew nothing of the art and from such as had been already visible below she had willingly turned to look at some drawings of Miss Darcy 's in crayons whose subjects were usually more interesting and also more intelligible {para} In the gallery there were many family portraits but they could have little to fix the attention of a stranger Elizabeth walked in quest of the only face whose features would be known to her At last it arrested her and she beheld a striking resemblance to Mr Darcy with such a smile over the face as she remembered to have sometimes seen when he looked at her She stood several minutes before the picture in earnest contemplation and returned to it again before they quitted the gallery Mrs Reynolds informed them that it had been taken in his father 's lifetime {para} There was certainly at this moment in Elizabeth 's mind a more gentle sensation towards the original than she had ever felt at the height of their acquaintance The commendation bestowed on him by Mrs Reynolds was of no trifling nature What praise is more valuable than the praise of an intelligent servant As a brother a landlord a master she considered how many people 's happiness were in his guardianship how much of pleasure or pain was it in his power to bestow how much of good or evil must be done by him Every idea that had been brought forward by the housekeeper was favourable to his character and as she stood before the canvas on which he was represented and fixed his eyes upon herself she thought of his regard with a deeper sentiment of gratitude than it had ever raised before she remembered its warmth and softened its impropriety of expression {para} When all of the house that was open to general inspection had been seen they returned downstairs and taking leave of the housekeeper were consigned over to the gardener who met them at the hall door {para} As they walked across the hall towards the river Elizabeth turned back to look again her uncle and aunt stopped also and while the former was conjecturing as to the date of the building the owner of it himself suddenly came forward from the road which led behind it to the stables {para} They were within twenty yards of each other and so abrupt was his appearance that it was impossible to avoid his sight Their eyes instantly met and the cheeks of both were overspread with the deepest blush He absolutely started and for a moment seemed immovable from surprise but shortly recovering himself advanced towards the party and spoke to Elizabeth if not in terms of perfect composure at least of perfect civility {para} She had instinctively turned away but stopping on his approach received his compliments with an embarrassment impossible to be overcome Had his first appearance or his resemblance to the picture they had just been examining been insufficient to assure the other two that they now saw Mr Darcy the gardener 's expression of surprise on beholding his master must immediately have told it They stood a little aloof while he was talking to their niece who astonished and confused scarcely dared lift her eyes to his face and knew not what answer she returned to his civil inquiries after her family Amazed at the alteration of his manner since they last parted every sentence that he uttered was increasing her embarrassment and every idea of the impropriety of her being found there recurring to her mind the few minutes in which they continued were some of the most uncomfortable in her life Nor did he seem much more at ease when he spoke his accent had none of its usual sedateness and he repeated his inquiries as to the time of her having left Longbourn and of her having stayed in Derbyshire so often and in so hurried a way as plainly spoke the distraction of his thoughts {para} At length every idea seemed to fail him and after standing a few moments without saying a word he suddenly recollected himself and took leave {para} The others then joined her and expressed admiration of his figure but Elizabeth heard not a word and wholly engrossed by her own feelings followed them in silence She was overpowered by shame and vexation Her coming there was the most unfortunate the most ill judged thing in the world How strange it must appear to him In what a disgraceful light might it not strike so vain a man It might seem as if she had purposely thrown herself in his way again Oh why did she come Or why did he thus come a day before he was expected Had they been only ten minutes sooner they should have been beyond the reach of his discrimination for it was plain that he was that moment arrived that moment alighted from his horse or his carriage She blushed again and again over the perverseness of the meeting And his behaviour so strikingly altered what could it mean That he should even speak to her was amazing but to speak with such civility to inquire after her family Never in her life had she seen his manners so little dignified never had he spoken with such gentleness as on this unexpected meeting What a contrast did it offer to his last address in Rosings Park when he put his letter into her hand She knew not what to think or how to account for it {para} They had now entered a beautiful walk by the side of the water and every step was bringing forward a nobler fall of ground or a finer reach of the woods to which they were approaching but it was some time before Elizabeth was sensible of any of it and though she answered mechanically to the repeated appeals of her uncle and aunt and seemed to direct her eyes to such objects as they pointed out she distinguished no part of the scene Her thoughts were all fixed on that one spot of Pemberley House whichever it might be where Mr Darcy then was She longed to know what at the moment was passing in his mind in what manner he thought of her and whether in defiance of everything she was still dear to him Perhaps he had been civil only because he felt himself at ease yet there had been THAT in his voice which was not like ease Whether he had felt more of pain or of pleasure in seeing her she could not tell but he certainly had not seen her with composure {para} At length however the remarks of her companions on her absence of mind aroused her and she felt the necessity of appearing more like herself {para} They entered the woods and bidding adieu to the river for a while ascended some of the higher grounds when in spots where the opening of the trees gave the eye power to wander were many charming views of the valley the opposite hills with the long range of woods overspreading many and occasionally part of the stream Mr Gardiner expressed a wish of going round the whole park but feared it might be beyond a walk With a triumphant smile they were told that it was ten miles round It settled the matter and they pursued the accustomed circuit which brought them again after some time in a descent among hanging woods to the edge of the water and one of its narrowest parts They crossed it by a simple bridge in character with the general air of the scene it was a spot less adorned than any they had yet visited and the valley here contracted into a glen allowed room only for the stream and a narrow walk amidst the rough coppice wood which bordered it Elizabeth longed to explore its windings but when they had crossed the bridge and perceived their distance from the house Mrs Gardiner who was not a great walker could go no farther and thought only of returning to the carriage as quickly as possible Her niece was therefore obliged to submit and they took their way towards the house on the opposite side of the river in the nearest direction but their progress was slow for Mr Gardiner though seldom able to indulge the taste was very fond of fishing and was so much engaged in watching the occasional appearance of some trout in the water and talking to the man about them that he advanced but little Whilst wandering on in this slow manner they were again surprised and Elizabeth 's astonishment was quite equal to what it had been at first by the sight of Mr Darcy approaching them and at no great distance The walk here being here less sheltered than on the other side allowed them to see him before they met Elizabeth however astonished was at least more prepared for an interview than before and resolved to appear and to speak with calmness if we really intended to meet them For a few moments indeed she felt that he would probably strike into some other path The idea lasted while a turning in the walk concealed him from their view the turning past he was immediately before them With a glance she saw that he had lost none of his recent civility and to imitate his politeness she began as they to admire the beauty of the place but she had not got beyond the words delightful and charming when some unlucky recollections obtruded and she fancied that praise of Pemberley from her might be mischievously construed Her colour changed and she said no more {para} Mrs Gardiner was standing a little behind and on her pausing he asked her if she would do him the honour of introducing him to her friends This was a stroke of civility for which she was quite unprepared and she could hardly suppress a smile at his being now seeking the acquaintance of some of those very people against whom his pride had revolted in his offer to herself What will be his surprise thought she when he knows who they are He takes them now for people of fashion {para} The introduction however was immediately made and as she named their relationship to herself she stole a sly look at him to see how he bore it and was not without the expectation of his decamping as fast as he could from such disgraceful companions That he was SURPRISED by the connection was evident he sustained it however with fortitude and so far from going away turned his back with them and entered into conversation with Mr Gardiner Elizabeth could not but be pleased could not but triumph It was consoling that he should know she had some relations for whom there was no need to blush She listened most attentively to all that passed between them and gloried in every expression every sentence of her uncle which marked his intelligence his taste or his good manners {para} The conversation soon turned upon fishing and she heard Mr Darcy invite him with the greatest civility to fish there as often as he chose while he continued in the neighbourhood offering at the same time to supply him with fishing tackle and pointing out those parts of the stream where there was usually most sport Mrs Gardiner who was walking arm in arm with Elizabeth gave her a look expressive of wonder Elizabeth said nothing but it gratified her exceedingly the compliment must be all for herself Her astonishment however was extreme and continually was she repeating Why is he so altered From what can it proceed It cannot be for ME it cannot be for MY sake that his manners are thus softened My reproofs at Hunsford could not work such a change as this It is impossible that he should still love me {para} After walking some time in this way the two ladies in front the two gentlemen behind on resuming their places after descending to the brink of the river for the better inspection of some curious water plant there chanced to be a little alteration It originated in Mrs Gardiner who fatigued by the exercise of the morning found Elizabeth 's arm inadequate to her support and consequently preferred her husband 's Mr Darcy took her place by her niece and they walked on together After a short silence the lady first spoke She wished him to know that she had been assured of his absence before she came to the place and accordingly began by observing that his arrival had been very unexpected for your housekeeper she added informed us that you would certainly not be here till to morrow and indeed before we left Bakewell we understood that you were not immediately expected in the country He acknowledged the truth of it all and said that business with his steward had occasioned his coming forward a few hours before the rest of the party with whom he had been travelling They will join me early to morrow he continued and among them are some who will claim an acquaintance with you Mr Bingley and his sisters {para} Elizabeth answered only by a slight bow Her thoughts were instantly driven back to the time when Mr Bingley 's name had been the last mentioned between them and if she might judge by his complexion HIS mind was not very differently engaged {para} There is also one other person in the party he continued after a pause who more particularly wishes to be known to you Will you allow me or do I ask too much to introduce my sister to your acquaintance during your stay at Lambton {para} The surprise of such an application was great indeed it was too great for her to know in what manner she acceded to it She immediately felt that whatever desire Miss Darcy might have of being acquainted with her must be the work of her brother and without looking farther it was satisfactory it was gratifying to know that is resentment had not made him think really ill of her {para} They now walked on in silence each of them deep in thought Elizabeth was not comfortable that was impossible but she was flattered and pleased His wish of introducing his sister to her was a compliment of the highest kind They soon outstripped the others and when they had reached the carriage Mr and Mrs Gardiner were half a quarter of a mile behind {para} He then asked her to walk into the house but she declared herself not tired and they stood together on the lawn At such a time much might have been said and silence was very awkward She wanted to talk but there seemed to be an embargo on every subject At last she recollected that she had been travelling and they talked of Matlock and Dovedale with great perseverance Yet time and her aunt moved slowly and her patience and her ideas were nearly worn our before the tete a tete was over On Mr and Mrs Gardiner 's coming up they were all pressed to go into the house and take some refreshment but this was declined and they parted on each side with utmost politeness Mr Darcy handed the ladies into the carriage and when it drove off Elizabeth saw him walking slowly towards the house {para} The observations of her uncle and aunt now began and each of them pronounced him to be infinitely superior to anything they had expected He is perfectly well behaved polite and unassuming said her uncle {para} There IS something a little stately in him to be sure replied her aunt but it is confined to his air and is not unbecoming I can now say with the housekeeper that though some people may call him proud I have seen nothing of it {para} I was never more surprised than by his behaviour to us It was more than civil it was really attentive and there was no necessity for such attention His acquaintance with Elizabeth was very trifling {para} To be sure Lizzy said her aunt he is not so handsome as Wickham or rather he has not Wickham 's countenance for his features are perfectly good But how came you to tell me that he was so disagreeable {para} Elizabeth excused herself as well as she could said that she had liked him better when they had met in Kent than before and that she had never seen him so pleasant as this morning {para} But perhaps he may be a little whimsical in his civilities replied her uncle Your great men often are and therefore I shall not take him at his word as he might change his mind another day and warn me off his grounds {para} Elizabeth felt that they had entirely misunderstood his character but said nothing {para} From what we have seen of him continued Mrs Gardiner I really should not have thought that he could have behaved in so cruel a way by anybody as he has done by poor Wickham He has not an ill natured look On the contrary there is something pleasing about his mouth when he speaks And there is something of dignity in his countenance that would not give one an unfavourable idea of his heart But to be sure the good lady who showed us his house did give him a most flaming character I could hardly help laughing aloud sometimes But he is a liberal master I suppose and THAT in the eye of a servant comprehends every virtue {para} Elizabeth here felt herself called on to say something in vindication of his behaviour to Wickham and therefore gave them to understand in as guarded a manner as she could that by what she had heard from his relations in Kent his actions were capable of a very different construction and that his character was by no means so faulty nor Wickham 's so amiable as they had been considered in Hertfordshire In confirmation of this she related the particulars of all the pecuniary transactions in which they had been connected without actually naming her authority but stating as such as might be relied on {para} Mrs Gardiner was surprised and concerned but as they were now approaching the scene of her former pleasures every idea gave way to the charm of recollection and she was too much engaged in pointing out to her husband all the interesting spots in its environs to think of anything else Fatigued as she had been by the morning 's walk they had no sooner dined than she set off again in quest of her former acquaintance and the evening was spent in the satisfactions of a intercourse renewed after many years discontinuance {para} The occurrences of the day were too full of interest to leave Elizabeth much attention for any of these new friends and she could do nothing but think and think with wonder of Mr Darcy 's civility and above all of his wishing her to be acquainted with his sister {para} Chapter 44 {para} Elizabeth had settled it that Mr Darcy would bring his sister to visit her the very day after her reaching Pemberley and was consequently resolved not to be out of sight of the inn the whole of that morning But her conclusion was false for on the very morning after their arrival at Lambton these visitors came They had been walking about the place with some of their new friends and were just returning to the inn to dress themselves for dining with the same family when the sound of a carriage drew them to a window and they saw a gentleman and a lady in a curricle driving up the street Elizabeth immediately recognizing the livery guessed what it meant and imparted no small degree of her surprise to her relations by acquainting them with the honour which she expected Her uncle and aunt were all amazement and the embarrassment of her manner as she spoke joined to the circumstance itself and many of the circumstances of the preceding day opened to them a new idea on the business Nothing had ever suggested it before but they felt that there was no other way of accounting for such attentions from such a quarter than by supposing a partiality for their niece While these newly born notions were passing in their heads the perturbation of Elizabeth 's feelings was at every moment increasing She was quite amazed at her own discomposure but amongst other causes of disquiet she dreaded lest the partiality of the brother should have said too much in her favour and more than commonly anxious to please she naturally suspected that every power of pleasing would fail her {para} She retreated from the window fearful of being seen and as she walked up and down the room endeavouring to compose herself saw such looks of inquiring surprise in her uncle and aunt as made everything worse {para} Miss Darcy and her brother appeared and this formidable introduction took place With astonishment did Elizabeth see that her new acquaintance was at least as much embarrassed as herself Since her being at Lambton she had heard that Miss Darcy was exceedingly proud but the observation of a very few minutes convinced her that she was only exceedingly shy She found it difficult to obtain even a word from her beyond a monosyllable {para} Miss Darcy was tall and on a larger scale than Elizabeth and though little more than sixteen her figure was formed and her appearance womanly and graceful She was less handsome than her brother but there was sense and good humour in her face and her manners were perfectly unassuming and gentle Elizabeth who had expected to find in her as acute and unembarrassed an observer as ever Mr Darcy had been was much relieved by discerning such different feelings {para} They had not long been together before Mr Darcy told her that Bingley was also coming to wait on her and she had barely time to express her satisfaction and prepare for such a visitor when Bingley 's quick step was heard on the stairs and in a moment he entered the room All Elizabeth 's anger against him had been long done away but had she still felt any it could hardly have stood its ground against the unaffected cordiality with which he expressed himself on seeing her again He inquired in a friendly though general way after her family and looked and spoke with the same good humoured ease that he had ever done {para} To Mr and Mrs Gardiner he was scarcely a less interesting personage than to herself They had long wished to see him The whole party before them indeed excited a lively attention The suspicions which had just arisen of Mr Darcy and their niece directed their observation towards each with an earnest though guarded inquiry and they soon drew from those inquiries the full conviction that one of them at least knew what it was to love Of the lady 's sensations they remained a little in doubt but that the gentleman was overflowing with admiration was evident enough {para} Elizabeth on her side had much to do She wanted to ascertain the feelings of each of her visitors she wanted to compose her own and to make herself agreeable to all and in the latter object where she feared most to fail she was most sure of success for those to whom she endeavoured to give pleasure were prepossessed in her favour Bingley was ready Georgiana was eager and Darcy determined to be pleased {para} In seeing Bingley her thoughts naturally flew to her sister and oh how ardently did she long to know whether any of his were directed in a like manner Sometimes she could fancy that he talked less than on former occasions and once or twice pleased herself with the notion that as he looked at her he was trying to trace a resemblance But though this might be imaginary she could not be deceived as to his behaviour to Miss Darcy who had been set up as a rival to Jane No look appeared on either side that spoke particular regard Nothing occurred between them that could justify the hopes of his sister On this point she was soon satisfied and two or three little circumstances occurred ere they parted which in her anxious interpretation denoted a recollection of Jane not untinctured by tenderness and a wish of saying more that might lead to the mention of her had he dared He observed to her at a moment when the others were talking together and in a tone which had something of real regret that it was a very long time since he had had the pleasure of seeing her and before she could reply he added It is above eight months We have not met since the 26th of November when we were all dancing together at Netherfield {para} Elizabeth was pleased to find his memory so exact and he afterwards took occasion to ask her when unattended to by any of the rest whether ALL her sisters were at Longbourn There was not much in the question nor in the preceding remark but there was a look and a manner which gave them meaning {para} It was not often that she could turn her eyes on Mr Darcy himself but whenever she did catch a glimpse she saw an expression of general complaisance and in all that he said she heard an accent so removed from hauteur or disdain of his companions as convinced her that the improvement of manners which she had yesterday witnessed however temporary its existence might prove had at least outlived one day When she saw him thus seeking the acquaintance and courting the good opinion of people with whom any intercourse a few months ago would have been a disgrace when she saw him thus civil not only to herself but to the very relations whom he had openly disdained and recollected their last lively scene in Hunsford Parsonage the difference the change was so great and struck so forcibly on her mind that she could hardly restrain her astonishment from being visible Never even in the company of his dear friends at Netherfield or his dignified relations at Rosings had she seen him so desirous to please so free from self consequence or unbending reserve as now when no importance could result from the success of his endeavours and when even the acquaintance of those to whom his attentions were addressed would draw down the ridicule and censure of the ladies both of Netherfield as Rosings {para} Their visitors stayed with them above half an hour and when they arose to depart Mr Darcy called on his sister to join him in expressing their wish of seeing Mr and Mrs Gardiner and Miss Bennet to dinner at Pemberley before they left the country Miss Darcy though with a diffidence which marked her little in the habit of giving invitations readily obeyed Mrs Gardiner looked at her niece desirous of knowing how SHE whom the invitation most concerned felt disposed as to its acceptance but Elizabeth had turned away her head Presuming however that this studied avoidance spoke rather a momentary embarrassment than any dislike of the proposal and seeing in her husband who was fond or society a perfect willingness to accept it she ventured to engage for her attendance and the day after the next was fixed on {para} Bingley expressed great pleasure in the certainty of seeing Elizabeth again having still a great deal to say to her and many inquiries to make after all their Hertfordshire friends Elizabeth construing all this into a wish of hearing her speak of her sister was pleased and on this account as well as some others found herself when their visitors left them capable of considering the last half hour with some satisfaction though while it was passing the enjoyment of it had been little Eager to be alone and fearful of inquiries or hints from her uncle and aunt she stayed with them only long enough to hear their favourable opinion of Bingley and then hurried away to dress {para} But she had no reason to fear Mr and Mrs Gardiner 's curiosity it was not their wish to force her communication It was evident that she was much better acquainted with Mr Darcy than they had before any idea of it was evident that he was very much in love with her They saw much to interest but nothing to justify inquiry {para} Of Mr Darcy it was now a matter of anxiety to think well and as far as their acquaintance reached there was no fault to find They could not be untouched by his politeness and had they drawn his character from their own feelings and his servant 's report without any reference to any other account the circle in Hertfordshire to which he was known would not have recognized it for Mr Darcy There was now an interest however in believing the housekeeper and they soon became sensible that the authority of a servant who had known him since he was four years old and whose own manners indicated respectability was not to be hastily rejected Neither had anything occurred in the intelligence of their Lambton friends that could materially lessen its weight They had nothing to accuse him of but pride pride he probably had and if not it would certainly be imputed by the inhabitants of a small market town where the family did not visit It was acknowledged however that he was a liberal man and did much good among the poor {para} With respect to Wickham the travellers soon found that he was not held there in much estimation for though the chief of his concerns with the son of his patron were imperfectly understood it was yet a well known fact that on his quitting Derbyshire he had left many debts behind him which Mr Darcy afterwards discharged {para} As for Elizabeth her thoughts were at Pemberley this evening more than the last and the evening though as it passed it seemed long was not long enough to determine her feelings towards ONE in that mansion and she lay awake two whole hours endeavouring to make them out She certainly did not hate him No hatred had vanished long ago and she had almost as long been ashamed of ever feeling a dislike against him that could be so called The respect created by the conviction of his valuable qualities though at first unwillingly admitted had for some time ceased to be repugnant to her feeling and it was now heightened into somewhat of a friendlier nature by the testimony so highly in his favour and bringing forward his disposition in so amiable a light which yesterday had produced But above all above respect and esteem there was a motive within her of goodwill which could not be overlooked It was gratitude gratitude not merely for having once loved her but for loving her still well enough to forgive all the petulance and acrimony of her manner in rejecting him and all the unjust accusations accompanying her rejection He who she had been persuaded would avoid her as his greatest enemy seemed on this accidental meeting most eager to preserve the acquaintance and without any indelicate display of regard or any peculiarity of manner where their two selves only were concerned was soliciting the good opinion of her friends and bent on making her known to his sister Such a change in a man of so much pride exciting not only astonishment but gratitude for to love ardent love it must be attributed and as such its impression on her was of a sort to be encouraged as by no means unpleasing though it could not be exactly defined She respected she esteemed he was grateful to him she felt a real interest in his welfare and she only wanted to know how far she wished that welfare to depend upon herself and how far it would be for the happiness of both that she should employ the power which her fancy told her she still possessed of bringing on her the renewal of his addresses {para} It had been settled in the evening between the aunt and the niece that such a striking civility as Miss Darcy 's in coming to see them on the very day of her arrival at Pemberley for she had reached it only to a late breakfast ought to be imitated though it could not be equalled by some exertion of politeness on their side and consequently that it would be highly expedient to wait on her at Pemberley the following morning They were therefore to go Elizabeth was pleased though when she asked herself the reason she had very little to say in reply {para} Mr Gardiner left them soon after breakfast The fishing scheme had been renewed the day before and a positive engagement made of his meeting some of the gentlemen at Pemberley before noon {para} Chapter 45 {para} Convinced as Elizabeth now was that Miss Bingley 's dislike of her had originated in jealousy she could not help feeling how unwelcome her appearance at Pemberley must be to her and was curious to know with how much civility on that lady 's side the acquaintance would now be renewed {para} On reaching the house they were shown through the hall into the saloon whose northern aspect rendered it delightful for summer Its windows opening to the ground admitted a most refreshing view of the high woody hills behind the house and of the beautiful oaks and Spanish chestnuts which were scattered over the intermediate lawn {para} In this house they were received by Miss Darcy who was sitting there with Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley and the lady with whom she lived in London Georgiana 's reception of them was very civil but attended with all the embarrassment which though proceeding from shyness and the fear of doing wrong would easily give to those who felt themselves inferior the belief of her being proud and reserved Mrs Gardiner and her niece however did her justice and pitied her {para} By Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley they were noticed only by a curtsey and on their being seated a pause awkward as such pauses must always be succeeded for a few moments It was first broken by Mrs Annesley a genteel agreeable looking woman whose endeavour to introduce some kind of discourse proved her to be more truly well bred than either of the others and between her and Mrs Gardiner with occasional help from Elizabeth the conversation was carried on Miss Darcy looked as if she wished for courage enough to join in it and sometimes did venture a short sentence when there was least danger of its being heard {para} Elizabeth soon saw that she was herself closely watched by Miss Bingley and that she could not speak a word especially to Miss Darcy without calling her attention This observation would not have prevented her from trying to talk to the latter had they not been seated at an inconvenient distance but she was not sorry to be spared the necessity of saying much Her own thoughts were employing her She expected every moment that some of the gentlemen would enter the room She wished she feared that the master of the house might be amongst them and whether she wished or feared it most she could scarcely determine After sitting in this manner a quarter of an hour without hearing Miss Bingley 's voice Elizabeth was roused by receiving from her a cold inquiry after the health of her family She answered with equal indifference and brevity and the others said no more {para} The next variation which their visit afforded was produced by the entrance of the servants with cold meat cake and a variety of all the entrance of servants with cold meat cake and a variety of all the finest fruits in season but this did not take place till after many a significant look and smile from Mrs Annesley to Miss Darcy had been given to remind her of her post There was now employment for the whole party for though they could not all talk they could all eat and the beautiful pyramids of grapes nectarines and peaches soon collected them round the table {para} While thus engaged Elizabeth had a fair opportunity of deciding whether she most feared or wished for the appearance of Mr Darcy by the feelings which prevailed on his entering the room and then though but a moment before she had believed her wishes to predominate she began to regret that he came {para} He had been some time with Mr Gardiner who with two or three other gentlemen from the house was engaged by the river and had left him only on learning that the ladies of the family intended a visit to Georgiana that morning No sooner did he appear than Elizabeth wisely resolved to be perfectly easy and unembarrassed a resolution the more necessary to be made but perhaps not the more easily kept because she saw that the suspicions of the whole party were awakened against them and that there was scarcely an eye which did not watch his behaviour when he first came into the room In no countenance was attentive curiosity so strongly marked as in Miss Bingley 's in spite of the smiles which overspread her face whenever she spoke to one of its objects for jealousy had not yet made her desperate and her attentions to Mr Darcy were by no means over Miss Darcy on her brother 's entrance exerted herself much more to talk and Elizabeth saw that she was anxious for his sister and herself to get acquainted and forwarded as much as possible every attempt at conversation on either side Miss Bingley saw all this likewise and in the imprudence of anger took the first opportunity of saying with sneering civility {para} Pray Miss Eliza are not the shire Militia removed from Meryton They must be a great loss to YOUR family {para} In Darcy 's presence she dared not mention Wickham 's name but Elizabeth instantly comprehended that he was uppermost in her thoughts and the various recollections connected with him gave her a moment 's distress but exerting herself vigorously to repel the ill natured attack she presently answered the question in a tolerably detached tone While she spoke an involuntary glance showed her Darcy with a heightened complexion earnestly looking at her and his sister overcome with confusion and unable to lift up her eyes Had Miss Bingley know what pain she was then giving her beloved friend she undoubtedly would have refrained from the hint but she had merely intended to discompose Elizabeth by bringing forward the idea of a man to whom she believed her partial to make her betray a sensibility which might injure her in Darcy 's opinion and perhaps to remind the latter of all the follies and absurdities by which some part of her family were connected with that corps Not a syllable had ever reached her of Miss Darcy 's meditated elopement To no creature had it been revealed where secrecy was possible except to Elizabeth and from all Bingley 's connections her brother was particularly anxious to conceal it from the very wish which Elizabeth had long ago attributed to him of their becoming hereafter her own He had certainly formed such a plan and without meaning that it should effect his endeavour to separate him from Miss Bennet it is probable that it might add something to his lively concern for the welfare of his friend {para} Elizabeth 's collected behaviour however soon quieted his emotion and as Miss Bingley vexed and disappointed dared not approach nearer to Wickham Georgiana also recovered in time though not enough to be able to speak any more Her brother whose eye she feared to meet scarcely recollected her interest in the affair and the very circumstance which had been designed to turn his thoughts from Elizabeth seemed to have fixed them on her more and more cheerfully {para} Their visit did not continue long after the question and answer above mentioned and while Mr Darcy was attending them to their carriage Miss Bingley was venting her feelings in criticisms on Elizabeth 's person behaviour and dress But Georgiana would not join her Her brother 's recommendation was enough to ensure her favour his judgement could not err And he had spoken in such terms of Elizabeth as to leave Georgiana without the power of finding her otherwise than lovely and amiable When Darcy returned to the saloon Miss Bingley could not help repeating to him some part of what she had been saying to his sister {para} How very ill Miss Eliza Bennet looks this morning Mr Darcy she cried I never in my life saw anyone so much altered as she is since the winter She is grown so brown and coarse Louisa and I were agreeing that we should not have known her again {para} However little Mr Darcy might have liked such an address he contented himself with coolly replying that he perceived no other alteration than her being rather tanned no miraculous consequence of travelling in the summer {para} For my own part she rejoined I must confess that I never could see any beauty in her Her face is too thin her complexion has no brilliancy and her features are not at all handsome Her nose wants character there is nothing marked in its lines Her teeth are tolerable but not out of the common way and as for her eyes which have sometimes been called so fine I could never see anything extraordinary in them They have a sharp shrewish look which I do not like at all and in her air altogether there is a self sufficiency without fashion which is intolerable {para} Persuaded as Miss Bingley was that Darcy admired Elizabeth this was not the best method of recommending herself but angry people are not always wise and in seeing him at last look somewhat nettled she had all the success she expected He was resolutely silent however and from a determination of making him speak she continued {para} I remember when we first knew her in Hertfordshire how amazed we all were to find that she was a reputed beauty and I particularly recollect your saying one night after they had been dining at Netherfield SHE a beauty I should as soon call her mother a wit But afterwards she seemed to improve on you and I believe you thought her rather pretty at one time {para} Yes replied Darcy who could contain himself no longer but THAT was only when I first saw her for it is many months since I have considered her as one of the handsomest women of my acquaintances {para} He then went away and Miss Bingley was left to all the satisfaction of having forced him to say what gave no one any pain but herself {para} Mrs Gardiner and Elizabeth talked of all that had occurred during their visit as they returned except what had particularly interested them both The look and behaviour of everybody they had seen were discussed except of the person who had mostly engaged their attention They talked of his sister his friends his house his fruit of everything but himself yet Elizabeth was longing to know what Mrs Gardiner thought of him and Mrs Gardiner would have been highly gratified by her niece 's beginning the subject {para} Chapter 46 {para} Elizabeth had been a good deal disappointed in not finding a letter from Jane on their first arrival at Lambton and this disappointment had been renewed on each of the mornings that had now been spent there but on the third her repining was over and her sister justified by the receipt of two letters from her at once on one of which was marked that it had been missent elsewhere Elizabeth was not surprised at it as Jane had written the direction remarkably ill {para} They had just been preparing to walk as the letters came in and her uncle and aunt leaving her to enjoy them in quiet set off by themselves The one missent must first be attended to it had been written five days ago The beginning contained an account of all their little parties and engagements with such news as the country afforded but the latter half which was dated a day later and written in evident agitation gave more important intelligence It was to this effect {para} Since writing the above dearest Lizzy something has occurred of a most unexpected and serious nature but I am afraid of alarming you be assured that we are all well What I have to say relates to poor Lydia An express came at twelve last night just as we were all gone to bed from Colonel Forster to inform us that she was gone off to Scotland with one of his officers to own the truth with Wickham Imagine our surprise To Kitty however it does not seem so wholly unexpected I am very very sorry So imprudent a match on both sides But I am willing to hope the best and that his character has been misunderstood Thoughtless and indiscreet I can easily believe him but this step and let us rejoice over it marks nothing bad at heart His choice is disinterested at least for he must know my father can give her nothing Our poor mother is sadly grieved My father bears it better How thankful am I that we never let them know what has been said against him we must forget it ourselves They were off Saturday night about twelve as is conjectured but were not missed till yesterday morning at eight The express was sent off directly My dear Lizzy they must have passed within ten miles of us Colonel Forster gives us reason to expect him here soon Lydia left a few lines for his wife informing her of their intention I must conclude for I cannot be long from my poor mother I am afraid you will not be able to make it out but I hardly know what I have written {para} Without allowing herself time for consideration and scarcely knowing what she felt Elizabeth on finishing this letter instantly seized the other and opening it with the utmost impatience read as follows it had been written a day later than the conclusion of the first {para} By this time my dearest sister you have received my hurried letter I wish this may be more intelligible but though not confined for time my head is so bewildered that I cannot answer for being coherent Dearest Lizzy I hardly know what I would write but I have bad news for you and it cannot be delayed Imprudent as the marriage between Mr Wickham and our poor Lydia would be we are now anxious to be assured it has taken place for there is but too much reason to fear they are not gone to Scotland Colonel Forster came yesterday having left Brighton the day before not many hours after the express Though Lydia 's short letter to Mrs F gave them to understand that they were going to Gretna Green something was dropped by Denny expressing his belief that W never intended to go there or to marry Lydia at all which was repeated to Colonel F who instantly taking the alarm set off from B intending to trace their route He did trace them easily to Clapham but no further for on entering that place they removed into a hackney coach and dismissed the chaise that brought them from Epsom All that is known after this is that they were seen to continue the London road I know not what to think After making every possible inquiry on that side London Colonel F came on into Hertfordshire anxiously renewing them at all the turnpikes and at the inns in Barnet and Hatfield but without any success no such people had been seen to pass through With the kindest concern he came on to Longbourn and broke his apprehensions to us in a manner most creditable to his heart I am sincerely grieved for him and Mrs F but no one can throw any blame on them Our distress my dear Lizzy is very great My father and mother believe the worst but I cannot think so ill of him Many circumstances might make it more eligible for them to be married privately in town than to pursue their first plan and even if HE could form such a design against a young woman of Lydia 's connections which is not likely can I suppose her so lost to everything Impossible I grieve to find however that Colonel F is not disposed to depend upon their marriage he shook his head when I expressed my hopes and said he fear W was not a man to be trusted My poor mother is really ill and keeps her room Could she exert herself it would be better but this is not to be expected And as to my father I never in my life saw him so affected Poor Kitty has anger for having concealed their attachment but as it was a matter of confidence one cannot wonder I am truly glad dearest Lizzy that you have been spared something of these distressing scenes but now as the first shock is over shall I own that I long for your return I am not so selfish however as to press for it if inconvenient Adieu I take up my pen again to do what I have just told you I would not but circumstances are such that I cannot help earnestly begging you all to come here as soon as possible I know my dear uncle and aunt so well that I am not afraid of requesting it though I have still something more to ask of the former My father is going to London with Colonel Forster instantly to try to discover her What he means to do I am sure I know not but his excessive distress will not allow him to pursue any measure in the best and safest way and Colonel Forster is obliged to be at Brighton again to morrow evening In such and exigence my uncle 's advice and assistance would be everything in the world he will immediately comprehend what I must feel and I rely upon his goodness {para} Oh where where is my uncle cried Elizabeth darting from her seat as she finished the letter in eagerness to follow him without losing a moment of the time so precious but as she reached the door it was opened by a servant and Mr Darcy appeared Her pale face and impetuous manner made him start and before he could recover himself to speak she in whose mind every idea was superseded by Lydia 's situation hastily exclaimed I beg your pardon but I must leave you I must find Mr Gardiner this moment on business that cannot be delayed I have not an instant to loose {para} Good God what is the matter cried he with more feeling than politeness then recollecting himself I will not detain you a minute but let me or let the servant go after Mr and Mrs Gardiner You are not well enough you cannot go yourself {para} Elizabeth hesitated but her knees trembled under her and she felt how little would be gained by her attempting to pursue them Calling back the servant therefore she commissioned him though in so breathless an accent as made her almost unintelligible to fetch his master and mistress home instantly {para} On his quitting the room she sat down unable to support herself and looking so miserably ill that it was impossible for Darcy to leave her or to refrain from saying in a tone of gentleness and commiseration Let me call your maid Is there nothing you could take to give you present relief A glass of wine shall I get you one You are very ill {para} No I thank you she replied endeavouring to recover herself There is nothing the matter with me I am quite well I am only distressed by some dreadful news which I have just received from Longbourn {para} She burst into tears as she alluded to it and for a few minutes could not speak another word Darcy in wretched suspense could only say something indistinctly of his concern and observe her in compassionate silence At length she spoke again I have just had a letter from Jane with such dreadful news It cannot be concealed from any one My younger sister has left all her friends has eloped has thrown herself into the power of of Mr Wickham They are gone off together from Brighton YOU know him too well to doubt the rest She has no money no connections nothing that can tempt him to she is lost for ever {para} Darcy was fixed in astonishment When I consider she added in a yet more agitated voice that I might have prevented it I who knew what he was Had I but explained some part of it only some part of what I learnt to my own family Had his character been known this could not have happened But it is all all too late now {para} I am grieved indeed cried Darcy grieved shocked But is it certain absolutely certain {para} Oh yes They left Brighton together on Sunday night and were traced almost to London but not beyond they are certainly not gone to Scotland {para} And what has been done what has been attempted to recover her {para} My father is gone to London and Jane has written to beg my uncle 's immediate assistance and we shall be off I hope in half an hour But nothing can be done I know very well that nothing can be done How is such a man to be worked on How are they even to be discovered I have not the smallest hope It is every way horrible {para} Darcy shook his head in silent acquiescence {para} When MY eyes were opened to his real character Oh had I known what I ought what I dared to do But I knew not I was afraid of doing too much Wretched wretched mistake {para} Darcy made no answer He seemed scarcely to hear her and was walking up and down the room in earnest meditation his brow contracted his air gloomy Elizabeth soon observed and instantly understood it Her power was sinking everything MUST sink under such a proof of family weakness such an assurance of the deepest disgrace She could neither wonder nor condemn but the belief of his self conquest brought nothing to her consolatory to her bosom afforded no palliation of her distress It was on the contrary exactly calculated to make her understand her own wishes and never had she so honestly felt that she could have loved him as now when all love must be vain {para} But self though it would intrude could not engross her Lydia the humiliation the misery she was bringing on them all soon swallowed up every private care and covering her face with her handkerchief Elizabeth was soon lost to everything else and after a pause of several minutes was only recalled to a sense of her situation by the voice of her companion who in a manner which though it spoke compassion spoke likewise restraint said I am afraid you have been long desiring my absence nor have I anything to plead in excuse of my stay but real though unavailing concern Would to Heaven that anything could be either said or done on my part that might offer consolation to such distress But I will not torment you with vain wishes which may seem purposely to ask for your thanks This unfortunate affair will I fear prevent my sister 's having the pleasure of seeing you at Pemberley to day {para} Oh yes Be so kind as to apologise for us to Miss Darcy Say that urgent business calls us home immediately Conceal the unhappy truth as long as it is possible I know it cannot be long {para} He readily assured her of his secrecy again expressed his sorrow for her distress wished it a happier conclusion than there was at present reason to hope and leaving his compliments for her relations with only one serious parting look went away {para} As he quitted the room Elizabeth felt how improbable it was that they should ever see each other again on such terms of cordiality as had marked their several meetings in Derbyshire and as she threw a retrospective glance over the whole of their acquaintance so full of contradictions and varieties sighed at the perverseness of those feelings which would now have promoted its continuance and would formerly have rejoiced in its termination {para} If gratitude and esteem are good foundations of affection Elizabeth 's change of sentiment will be neither improbable nor faulty But if otherwise if regard springing from such sources is unreasonable or unnatural in comparison of what is so often described as arising on a first interview with its object and even before two words have been exchanged nothing can be said in her defence except that she had given somewhat of a trial to the latter method in her partiality for Wickham and that its ill success might perhaps authorise her to seek the other less interesting mode of attachment Be that as it may she saw him go with regret and in this early example of what Lydia 's infamy must produce found additional anguish as she reflected on that wretched business Never since reading Jane 's second letter had she entertained a hope of Wickham 's meaning to marry her No one but Jane she thought could flatter herself with such an expectation Surprise was the least of her feelings on this development While the contents of the first letter remained in her mind she was all surprise all astonishment that Wickham should marry a girl whom it was impossible he could marry for money and how Lydia could ever have attached him had appeared incomprehensible But no it was all too natural For such an attachment as this she might have sufficient charm and though she did not suppose Lydia to be deliberately engaging in an elopement without the intention of marriage she had no difficulty in believing that neither her virtue nor her understanding would preserve her from falling an easy prey {para} She had never perceived while the regiment was in Hertfordshire that Lydia had any partiality for him but she was convinced that Lydia wanted only encouragement to attach herself to anybody Sometimes one officer sometimes another had been her favourite as their attentions raised them in her opinion Her affections had continually been fluctuating but never without an object The mischief of neglect and mistaken indulgence towards such a girl oh how acutely did she now feel it {para} She was wild to be at home to hear to see to be upon the spot to share with Jane in the cares that must now fall wholly upon her in a family so deranged a father absent a mother incapable of exertion and requiring constant attendance and though almost persuaded that nothing could be done for Lydia her uncle 's interference seemed of the utmost importance and till he entered the room her impatience was severe Mr and Mrs Gardiner had hurried back in alarm supposing by the servant 's account that their niece was taken suddenly ill but satisfying them instantly on that head she eagerly communicated the cause of their summons reading the two letters aloud and dwelling on the postscript of the last with trembling energy though Lydia had never been a favourite with them Mr and Mrs Gardiner could not but be deeply afflicted Not Lydia only but all were concerned in it and after the first exclamations of surprise and horror Mr Gardiner promised every assistance in his power Elizabeth though expecting no less thanked him with tears of gratitude and all three being actuated by one spirit everything relating to their journey was speedily settled They were to be off as soon as possible But what is to be done about Pemberley cried Mrs Gardiner John told us Mr Darcy was here when you sent for us was it so {para} Yes and I told him we should not be able to keep our engagement THAT is all settled {para} What is all settled repeated the other as she ran into her room to prepare And are they upon such terms as for her to disclose the real truth Oh that I knew how it was {para} But wishes were vain or at least could only serve to amuse her in the hurry and confusion of the following hour Had Elizabeth been at leisure to be idle she would have remained certain that all employment was impossible to one so wretched as herself but she had her share of business as well as her aunt and amongst the rest there were notes to be written to all their friends at Lambton with false excuses for their sudden departure An hour however saw the whole completed and Mr Gardiner meanwhile having settled his account at the inn nothing remained to be done but to go and Elizabeth after all the misery of the morning found herself in a shorter space of time than she could have supposed seated in the carriage and on the road to Longbourn {para} Chapter 47 {para} I have been thinking it over again Elizabeth said her uncle as they drove from the town and really upon serious consideration I am much more inclined than I was to judge as your eldest sister does on the matter It appears to me so very unlikely that any young man should form such a design against a girl who is by no means unprotected or friendless and who was actually staying in his colonel 's family that I am strongly inclined to hope the best Could he expect that her friends would not step forward Could he expect to be noticed again by the regiment after such an affront to Colonel Forster His temptation is not adequate to the risk {para} Do you really think so cried Elizabeth brightening up for a moment {para} Upon my word said Mrs Gardiner I begin to be of your uncle 's opinion It is really too great a violation of decency honour and interest for him to be guilty of I cannot think so very ill of Wickham Can you yourself Lizzy so wholly give him up as to believe him capable of it {para} Not perhaps of neglecting his own interest but of every other neglect I can believe him capable If indeed it should be so But I dare not hope it Why should they not go on to Scotland if that had been the case {para} In the first place replied Mr Gardiner there is no absolute proof that they are not gone to Scotland {para} Oh but their removing from the chaise into a hackney coach is such a presumption And besides no traces of them were to be found on the Barnet road {para} Well then supposing them to be in London They may be there though for the purpose of concealment for no more exceptional purpose It is not likely that money should be very abundant on either side and it might strike them that they could be more economically though less expeditiously married in London than in Scotland {para} But why all this secrecy Why any fear of detection Why must their marriage be private Oh no no this is not likely His most particular friend you see by Jane 's account was persuaded of his never intending to marry her Wickham will never marry a woman without some money He cannot afford it And what claims has Lydia what attraction has she beyond youth health and good humour that could make him for her sake forego every chance of benefiting himself by marrying well As to what restraint the apprehensions of disgrace in the corps might throw on a dishonourable elopement with her I am not able to judge for I know nothing of the effects that such a step might produce But as to your other objection I am afraid it will hardly hold good Lydia has no brothers to step forward and he might imagine from my father 's behaviour from his indolence and the little attention he has ever seemed to give to what was going forward in his family that HE would do as little and think as little about it as any father could do in such a matter {para} But can you think that Lydia is so lost to everything but love of him as to consent to live with him on any terms other than marriage {para} It does seem and it is most shocking indeed replied Elizabeth with tears in her eyes that a sister 's sense of decency and virtue in such a point should admit of doubt But really I know not what to say Perhaps I am not doing her justice But she is very young she has never been taught to think on serious subjects and for the last half year nay for a twelvemonth she has been given up to nothing but amusement and vanity She has been allowed to dispose of her time in the most idle and frivolous manner and to adopt any opinions that came in her way Since the shire were first quartered in Meryton nothing but love flirtation and officers have been in her head She has been doing everything in her power by thinking and talking on the subject to give greater what shall I call it susceptibility to her feelings which are naturally lively enough And we all know that Wickham has every charm of person and address that can captivate a woman {para} But you see that Jane said her aunt does not think so very ill of Wickham as to believe him capable of the attempt {para} Of whom does Jane ever think ill And who is there whatever might be their former conduct that she would think capable of such an attempt till it were proved against them But Jane knows as well as I do what Wickham really is We both know that he has been profligate in every sense of the word that he has neither integrity nor honour that he is as false and deceitful as he is insinuating {para} And do you really know all this cried Mrs Gardiner whose curiosity as to the mode of her intelligence was all alive {para} I do indeed replied Elizabeth colouring I told you the other day of his infamous behaviour to Mr Darcy and you yourself when last at Longbourn heard in what manner he spoke of the man who had behaved with such forbearance and liberality towards him And there are other circumstances which I am not at liberty which it is not worth while to relate but his lies about the whole Pemberley family are endless From what he said of Miss Darcy I was thoroughly prepared to see a proud reserved disagreeable girl Yet he knew to the contrary himself He must know that she was as amiable and unpretending as we have found her {para} But does Lydia know nothing of this can she be ignorant of what you and Jane seem so well to understand {para} Oh yes that that is the worst of all Till I was in Kent and saw so much both of Mr Darcy and his relation Colonel Fitzwilliam I was ignorant of the truth myself And when I returned home the shire was to leave Meryton in a week or fortnight 's time As that was the case neither Jane to whom I related the whole nor I thought it necessary to make our knowledge public for of what use could it apparently be to any one that the good opinion which all the neighbourhood had of him should then be overthrown And even when it was settled that Lydia should go with Mrs Forster the necessity of opening her eyes to his character never occurred to me That SHE could be in any danger from the deception never entered my head That such a consequence as THIS could ensue you may easily believe was far enough from my thoughts {para} When they all removed to Brighton therefore you had no reason I suppose to believe them fond of each other {para} Not the slightest I can remember no symptom of affection on either side and had anything of the kind been perceptible you must be aware that ours is not a family on which it could be thrown away When first he entered the corps she was ready enough to admire him but so we all were Every girl in or near Meryton was out of her senses about him for the first two months but he never distinguished HER by any particular attention and consequently after a moderate period of extravagant and wild admiration her fancy for him gave way and others of the regiment who treated her with more distinction again became her favourites {para} It may be easily believed that however little of novelty could be added to their fears hopes and conjectures on this interesting subject by its repeated discussion no other could detain them from it long during the whole of the journey From Elizabeth 's thoughts it was never absent Fixed there by the keenest of all anguish self reproach she could find no interval of ease or forgetfulness {para} They travelled as expeditiously as possible and sleeping one night on the road reached Longbourn by dinner time the next day It was a comfort to Elizabeth to consider that Jane could not have been wearied by long expectations {para} The little Gardiners attracted by the sight of a chaise were standing on the steps of the house as they entered the paddock and when the carriage drove up to the door the joyful surprise that lighted up their faces and displayed itself over their whole bodies in a variety of capers and frisks was the first pleasing earnest of their welcome {para} Elizabeth jumped out and after giving each of them a hasty kiss hurried into the vestibule where Jane who came running down from her mother 's apartment immediately met her {para} Elizabeth as she affectionately embraced her whilst tears filled the eyes of both lost not a moment in asking whether anything had been heard of the fugitives {para} Not yet replied Jane But now that my dear uncle is come I hope everything will be well {para} Is my father in town {para} Yes he went on Tuesday as I wrote you word {para} And have you heard from him often {para} We have heard only twice He wrote me a few lines on Wednesday to say that he had arrived in safety and to give me his directions which I particularly begged him to do He merely added that he should not write again till he had something of importance to mention {para} And my mother how is she How are you all {para} My mother is tolerably well I trust though her spirits are greatly shaken She is upstairs and will have great satisfaction in seeing you all She does not yet leave her dressing room Mary and Kitty are thank Heaven are quite well {para} But you how are you cried Elizabeth You look pale How much you must have gone through {para} Her sister however assured her of her being perfectly well and their conversation which had been passing while Mr and Mrs Gardiner were engaged with their children Was now put an end to by the approach of the whole party Jane ran to her uncle and aunt and welcomed and thanked them both with alternate smiles and tears {para} When they were all in the drawing room the questions which Elizabeth had already asked were of course repeated by the others and they soon found that Jane had no intelligence to give The sanguine hope of good however which the benevolence of her heart suggested had not yet deserted her she still expected that it would all end well and that every morning would bring some letter either from Lydia or her father to explain their proceedings and perhaps announce their marriage {para} Mrs Bennet to whose apartment they all repaired after a few minutes conversation together received them exactly as might be expected with tears and lamentations of regret invectives against the villainous conduct of Wickham and complaints of her own sufferings and ill usage blaming everybody but the person to whose ill judging indulgence the errors of her daughter must principally be owing {para} If I had been able said she to carry my point in going to Brighton with all my family THIS would not have happened but poor dear Lydia had nobody to take care of her Why did the Forsters ever let her go out of their sight I am sure there was some great neglect or other on their side for she is not the kind of girl to do such a thing if she had been well looked after I always thought they were very unfit to have the charge of her but I was overruled as I always am Poor dear child And now here 's Mr Bennet gone away and I know he will fight Wickham wherever he meets him and then he will be killed and what is to become of us all The Collinses will turn us out before he is cold in his grave and if you are not kind to us brother I do not know what we shall do {para} They all exclaimed against such terrific ideas and Mr Gardiner after general assurances of his affection for her and all her family told her that he meant to be in London the very next day and would assist Mr Bennet in every endeavour for recovering Lydia {para} Do not give way to useless alarm added he though it is right to be prepared for the worst there is no occasion to look on it a certain It is not quite a week since they left Brighton In a few days more we may gain some news of them and till we know that they are not married and have no design of marrying do not let us give the matter over as lost As soon as I get to town I shall go to my brother and make him come home with me to Gracechurch Street and then we may consult together as to what is to be done {para} Oh my dear brother replied Mrs Bennet that is exactly what I could most wish for And now do when you get to town find them out wherever they may be and if they are not married already MAKE them marry And as for wedding clothes do not let them wait for that but tell Lydia she shall have as much money as she chooses to buy them after they are married And above all keep Mr Bennet from fighting Tell him what a dreadful state I am in that I am frighted out of my wits and have such tremblings such flutterings all over me such spasms in my side and pains in my head and such beatings at heart that I can get no rest by night nor by day And tell my dear Lydia not to give any directions about her clothes till she has seen me for she does not know which are the best warehouses Oh brother how kind you are I know you will contrive it all {para} But Mr Gardiner though he assured her again of his earnest endeavours in the cause could not avoid recommending moderation to her as well in her hopes as her fear and after talking with her in this manner till dinner was on the table they all left her to vent all her feelings on the housekeeper who attended in the absence of her daughters {para} Though her brother and sister were persuaded that there was no real occasion for such a seclusion from the family they did not attempt to oppose it for they knew that she had not prudence enough to hold her tongue before the servants while they waited at table and judged it better that ONE only of the household and the one whom they could most trust should comprehend all her fears and solicitude on the subject {para} In the dining room they were soon joined by Mary and Kitty who had been too busily engaged in their separate apartments to make their appearance before One came from her books and the other from her toilette The faces of both however were tolerably calm and no change was visible in either except that the loss of her favourite sister or the anger which she had herself incurred in this business had given more of fretfulness than usual to the accents of Kitty As for Mary she was mistress enough of herself to whisper to Elizabeth with a countenance of grave reflection soon after they were seated at table {para} This is a most unfortunate affair and will probably be much talked of But we must stem the tide of malice and pour into the wounded bosoms of each other the balm of sisterly consolation {para} Then perceiving in Elizabeth no inclination of replying she added Unhappy as the event must be for Lydia we may draw from it this useful lesson that loss of virtue in a female is irretrievable that one false step involves her in endless ruin that her reputation is no less brittle than it is beautiful and that she cannot be too much guarded in her behaviour towards the undeserving of the other sex {para} Elizabeth lifted up her eyes in amazement but was too much oppressed to make any reply Mary however continued to console herself with such kind of moral extractions from the evil before them {para} In the afternoon the two elder Miss Bennets were able to be for half an hour by themselves and Elizabeth instantly availed herself of the opportunity of making any inquiries which Jane was equally eager to satisfy After joining in general lamentations over the dreadful sequel of this event which Elizabeth considered as all but certain and Miss Bennet could not assert to be wholly impossible the former continued the subject by saying But tell me all and everything about it which I have not already heard Give me further particulars What did Colonel Forster say Had they no apprehension of anything before the elopement took place They must have seen them together for ever {para} Colonel Forster did own that he had often suspected some partiality especially on Lydia 's side but nothing to give him any alarm I am so grieved for him His behaviour was attentive and kind to the utmost He WAS coming to us in order to assure us of his concern before he had any idea of their not being gone to Scotland when that apprehension first got abroad it hastened his journey {para} And was Denny convinced that Wickham would not marry Did he know of their intending to go off Had Colonel Forster seen Denny himself {para} Yes but when questioned by HIM Denny denied knowing anything of their plans and would not give his real opinion about it He did not repeat his persuasion of their not marrying and from THAT I am inclined to hope he might have been misunderstood before {para} And till Colonel Forster came himself not one of you entertained a doubt I suppose of their being really married {para} How was it possible that such an idea should enter our brains I felt a little uneasy a little fearful of my sister 's happiness with him in marriage because I knew that his conduct had not been always quite right My father and mother knew nothing of that they only felt how imprudent a match it must be Kitty then owned with a very natural triumph on knowing more than the rest of us that in Lydia 's last letter she had prepared her for such a step She had known it seems of their being in love with each other many weeks {para} But not before they went to Brighton {para} No I believe not {para} And did Colonel Forster appear to think well of Wickham himself Does he know he real character {para} I must confess that he did not speak so well of Wickham as he formerly did He believed him to be imprudent and extravagant And since this sad affair has taken place it is said that he left Meryton greatly in debt but I hope this may be false {para} Oh Jane had we been less secret had we told what we knew of him this could not have happened {para} Perhaps it would have been better replied her sister But to expose the former faults of any person without knowing what their present feelings were seemed unjustifiable We acted with the best intentions {para} Could Colonel Forster repeat the particulars of Lydia 's note to his wife {para} He brought it with him for us to see {para} Jane then took it from her pocket book and gave it to Elizabeth These were the contents {para} MY DEAR HARRIET You will laugh when you know where I am gone and I cannot help laughing myself at your surprise to morrow morning as soon as I am missed I am going to Gretna Green and if you cannot guess with who I shall think you a simpleton for there is but one man in the world I love and he is an angel I should never be happy without him so think it no harm to be off You need not send them word at Longbourn of my going if you do not like it for it will make the surprise the greater when I write to them and sign my name Lydia Wickham What a good joke it will be I can hardly write for laughing Pray make my excuses to Pratt for not keeping my engagement and dancing with him to night Tell him I hope he will excuse me when he knows all and tell him I will dance with him at the next ball we meet with great pleasure I shall send for my clothes when I get to Longbourn but I wish you would tell Sally to mend a great slit in my worked muslin gown before they are packed up Good bye Give my love to Colonel Forster I hope you will drink to our good journey Your affectionate friend Lydia Bennet {para} Oh thoughtless thoughtless Lydia cried Elizabeth when she had finished it What a letter is this to be written at such a moment But at least it shows that SHE was serious on the subject of their journey Whatever he might afterwards persuade her to it was not on her side a SCHEME of infamy My poor father how he must have felt it {para} I never saw any one so shocked He could not speak a word for full ten minutes My mother was taken ill immediately and the whole house in such confusion {para} Oh Jane cried Elizabeth was there a servant belonging to it who did not know the whole story before the end of the day {para} I do not know I hope there was But to be guarded at such a time is very difficult My mother was in hysterics and though I endeavoured to give her every assistance in my power I am afraid I did not do so much as I might have done But the horror of what might possibly happen almost took from me my faculties {para} Your attendance upon her has been too much for you You do not look well Oh that I had been with you you have had every care and anxiety upon yourself alone {para} Mary and Kitty have been very kind and would have shared in every fatigue I am sure but I did not think it right for either of them Kitty is slight and delicate and Mary studies so much that her hours of repose should not be broken in on My aunt Phillips came to Longbourn on Tuesday after my father went away and was so good as to stay till Thursday with me She was of great use and comfort to us all And Lady Lucas has been very kind she walked here on Wednesday morning to condole with us and offered her services or any of her daughters if they should be of use to us {para} She had better have stayed at home cried Elizabeth perhaps she MEANT well but under such a misfortune as this one cannot see too little of one 's neighbours Assistance is impossible condolence insufferable Let them triumph over us at a distance and be satisfied {para} She then proceeded to inquire into the measures which her father had intended to pursue while in town for the recovery of his daughter {para} He meant I believe replied Jane to go to Epsom the place where they last changed horses see the postilions and try if anything could be made out from them His principal object must be to discover the number of the hackney coach which took them from Clapham It had come with a fare from London and as he thought that the circumstance of a gentleman and lady 's removing from one carriage into another might be remarked he meant to make inquiries at Clapham If he could anyhow discover at what house the coachman had before set down his fare he determined to make inquiries there and hoped it might not be impossible to find out the stand and number of the coach I do not know of any other designs that he had formed but he was in such a hurry to be gone and his spirits so greatly discomposed that I had difficulty in finding out even so much as this {para} Chapter 48 {para} The whole party were in hopes of a letter from Mr Bennet the next morning but the post came in without bringing a single line from him His family knew him to be on all common occasions a most negligent and dilatory correspondent but at such a time they had hoped for exertion They were forced to conclude that he had no pleasing intelligence to send but even of THAT they would have been glad to be certain Mr Gardiner had waited only for the letters before he set off When he was gone they were certain at least of receiving constant information of what was going on and their uncle promised at parting to prevail on Mr Bennet to return to Longbourn as soon as he could to the great consolation of his sister who considered it as the only security for her husband 's not being killed in a duel {para} Mrs Gardiner and the children were to remain in Hertfordshire a few days longer as the former thought her presence might be serviceable to her nieces She shared in their attendance on Mrs Bennet and was a great comfort to them in their hours of freedom Their other aunt also visited them frequently and always as she said with the design of cheering and heartening them up though as she never came without reporting some fresh instance of Wickham 's extravagance or irregularity she seldom went away without leaving them more dispirited than she found them {para} All Meryton seemed striving to blacken the man who but three months before had been almost an angel of light He was declared to be in debt to every tradesman in the place and his intrigues all honoured with the title of seduction had been extended into every tradesman 's family Everybody declared that he was the wickedest young man in the world and everybody began to find out that they had always distrusted the appearance of his goodness Elizabeth though she did not credit above half of what was said believed enough to make her former assurance of her sister 's ruin more certain and even Jane who believed still less of it became almost hopeless more especially as the time was now come when if they had gone to Scotland which she had never before entirely despaired of they must in all probability have gained some news of them {para} Mr Gardiner left Longbourn on Sunday on Tuesday his wife received a letter from him it told them that on his arrival he had immediately found out his brother and persuaded him to come to Gracechurch Street that Mr Bennet had been to Epsom and Clapham before his arrival but without gaining any satisfactory information and that he was now determined to inquire at all the principal hotels in town as Mr Bennet thought it possible they might have gone to one of them on their first coming to London before they procured lodgings Mr Gardiner himself did not expect any success from this measure but as his brother was eager in it he meant to assist him in pursuing it He added that Mr Bennet seemed wholly disinclined at present to leave London and promised to write again very soon There was also a postscript to this effect {para} I have written to Colonel Forster to desire him to find out if possible from some of the young man 's intimates in the regiment whether Wickham has any relations or connections who would be likely to know in what part of town he has now concealed himself If there were any one that one could apply to with a probability of gaining such a clue as that it might be of essential consequence At present we have nothing to guide us Colonel Forster will I dare say do everything in his power to satisfy us on this head But on second thoughts perhaps Lizzy could tell us what relations he has now living better than any other person {para} Elizabeth was at no loss to understand from whence this deference to her authority proceeded but it was not in her power to give any information of so satisfactory a nature as the compliment deserved She had never heard of his having had any relations except a father and mother both of whom had been dead many years It was possible however that some of his companions in the shire might be able to give more information and though she was not very sanguine in expecting it the application was a something to look forward to {para} Every day at Longbourn was now a day of anxiety but the most anxious part of each was when the post was expected The arrival of letters was the grand object of every morning 's impatience Through letters whatever of good or bad was to be told would be communicated and every succeeding day was expected to bring some news of importance {para} But before they heard again from Mr Gardiner a letter arrived for their father from a different quarter from Mr Collins which as Jane had received directions to open all that came for him in his absence she accordingly read and Elizabeth who knew what curiosities his letters always were looked over her and read it likewise It was s follows {para} MY DEAR SIR I feel myself called upon by our relationship and my situation in life to condole with you on the grievous affliction you are now suffering under of which we were yesterday informed by a letter from Hertfordshire Be assured my dear sir that Mrs Collins and myself sincerely sympathise with you and all your respectable family in your present distress which must be of the bitterest kind because proceeding from a cause which no time can remove No arguments shall be wanting on my part that can alleviate so severe a misfortune or that may comfort you under a circumstance that must be of all others the most afflicting to a parent 's mind The death of your daughter would have been a blessing in comparison of this And it is the more to be lamented because there is reason to suppose as my dear Charlotte informs me that this licentiousness of behaviour in your daughter has proceeded from a faulty degree of indulgence though at the same time for the consolation of yourself and Mrs Bennet I am inclined to think that her own disposition must be naturally bad or she could not be guilty of such an enormity at so early an age Howsoever that may be you are grievously to be pitied in which opinion I am not only joined by Mrs Collins but likewise by Lady Catherine and her daughter to whom I have related the affair They agree with me in apprehending that this false step in one daughter will be injurious to the fortunes of all the others for who as Lady Catherine herself condescendingly says will connect themselves with such a family And this consideration leads me moreover to reflect with augmented satisfaction on a certain event of last November for had it been otherwise I must have been involved in all your sorrow and disgrace Let me then advise you dear sir to console yourself as much as possible to throw off your unworthy child from your affection for ever and leave her to reap the fruits of her own heinous offense I am dear sir etc etc {para} Mr Gardiner did not write again till he had received an answer from Colonel Forster and then he had nothing of a pleasant nature to send It was not known that Wickham had a single relationship with whom he kept up any connection and it was certain that he had no near one living His former acquaintances had been numerous but since he had been in the militia it did not appear that he was on terms of particular friendship with any of them There was no one therefore who could be pointed out as likely to give any news of him And in the wretched state of his own finances there was a very powerful motive for secrecy in addition to his fear of discovery by Lydia 's relations for it had just transpired that he had left gaming debts behind him to a very considerable amount Colonel Forster believed that more than a thousand pounds would be necessary to clear his expenses at Brighton He owed a good deal in town but his debts of honour were still more formidable Mr Gardiner did not attempt to conceal these particulars from the Longbourn family Jane heard them with horror A gamester she cried This is wholly unexpected I had not an idea of it {para} Mr Gardiner added in his letter that they might expect to see their father at home on the following day which was Saturday Rendered spiritless by the ill success of all their endeavours he had yielded to his brother in law 's entreaty that he would return to his family and leave it to him to do whatever occasion might suggest to be advisable for continuing their pursuit When Mrs Bennet was told of this she did not express so much satisfaction as her children expected considering what her anxiety for his life had been before {para} What is he coming home and without poor Lydia she cried Sure he will not leave London before he has found them Who is to fight Wickham and make him marry her if he comes away {para} As Mrs Gardiner began to wish to be at home it was settled that she and the children should go to London at the same time that Mr Bennet came from it The coach therefore took them the first stage of their journey and brought its master back to Longbourn {para} Mrs Gardiner went away in all the perplexity about Elizabeth and her Derbyshire friend that had attended her from that part of the world His name had never been voluntarily mentioned before them by her niece and the kind of half expectation which Mrs Gardiner had formed of their being followed by a letter from him had ended in nothing Elizabeth had received none since her return that could come from Pemberley {para} The present unhappy state of the family rendered any other excuse for the lowness of her spirits unnecessary nothing therefore could be fairly conjectured from THAT though Elizabeth who was by this time tolerably well acquainted with her own feelings was perfectly aware that had she known nothing of Darcy she could have borne the dread of Lydia 's infamy somewhat better It would have spared her she thought one sleepless night out of two {para} When Mr Bennet arrived he had all the appearance of his usual philosophic composure He said as little as he had ever been in the habit of saying made no mention of the business that had taken him away and it was some time before his daughters had courage to speak of it {para} It was not till the afternoon when he had joined them at tea that Elizabeth ventured to introduce the subject and then on her briefly expressing her sorrow for what he must have endured he replied Say nothing of that Who should suffer but myself It has been my own doing and I ought to feel it {para} You must not be too severe upon yourself replied Elizabeth {para} You may well warn me against such an evil Human nature is so prone to fall into it No Lizzy let me once in my life feel how much I have been to blame I am not afraid of being overpowered by the impression It will pass away soon enough {para} Do you suppose them to be in London {para} Yes where else can they be so well concealed {para} And Lydia used to want to go to London added Kitty {para} She is happy then said her father drily and her residence there will probably be of some duration {para} Then after a short silence he continued {para} Lizzy I bear you no ill will for being justified in your advice to me last May which considering the event shows some greatness of mind {para} They were interrupted by Miss Bennet who came to fetch her mother 's tea {para} This is a parade he cried which does one good it gives such an elegance to misfortune Another day I will do the same I will sit in my library in my nightcap and powdering gown and give as much trouble as I can or perhaps I may defer it till Kitty runs away {para} I am not going to run away papa said Kitty fretfully If I should ever go to Brighton I would behave better than Lydia {para} YOU go to Brighton I would not trust you so near it as Eastbourne for fifty pounds No Kitty I have at last learnt to be cautious and you will feel the effects of it No officer is ever to enter into my house again nor even to pass through the village Balls will be absolutely prohibited unless you stand up with one of your sisters And you are never to stir out of doors till you can prove that you have spent ten minutes of every day in a rational manner {para} Kitty who took all these threats in a serious light began to cry {para} Well well said he do not make yourself unhappy If you are a good girl for the next ten years I will take you to a review at the end of them {para} Chapter 49 {para} Two days after Mr Bennet 's return as Jane and Elizabeth were walking together in the shrubbery behind the house they saw the housekeeper coming towards them and concluding that she came to call them to their mother went forward to meet her but instead of the expected summons when they approached her she said to Miss Bennet I beg your pardon madam for interrupting you but I was in hopes you might have got some good news from town so I took the liberty of coming to ask {para} What do you mean Hill We have heard nothing from town {para} Dear madam cried Mrs Hill in great astonishment don't you know there is an express come for master from Mr Gardiner He has been here this half hour and master has had a letter {para} Away ran the girls too eager to get in to have time for speech They ran through the vestibule into the breakfast room from thence to the library their father was in neither and they were on the point of seeking him upstairs with their mother when they were met by the butler who said {para} If you are looking for my master ma'am he is walking towards the little copse {para} Upon this information they instantly passed through the hall once more and ran across the lawn after their father who was deliberately pursuing his way towards a small wood on one side of the paddock {para} Jane who was not so light nor so much in the habit of running as Elizabeth soon lagged behind while her sister panting for breath came up with him and eagerly cried out {para} Oh papa what news what news Have you heard from my uncle {para} Yes I have had a letter from him by express {para} Well and what news does it bring good or bad {para} What is there of good to be expected said he taking the letter from his pocket But perhaps you would like to read it {para} Elizabeth impatiently caught it from his hand Jane now came up {para} Read it aloud said their father for I hardly know myself what it is about {para} Gracechurch Street Monday August 2 MY DEAR BROTHER At last I am able to send you some tidings of my niece and such as upon the whole I hope it will give you satisfaction Soon after you left me on Saturday I was fortunate enough to find out in what part of London they were The particulars I reserve till we meet it is enough to know they are discovered I have seen them both {para} Then it is as I always hoped cried Jane they are married {para} Elizabeth read on {para} I have seen them both They are not married nor can I find there was any intention of being so but if you are willing to perform the engagements which I have ventured to make on your side I hope it will not be long before they are All that is required of you is to assure to your daughter by settlement her equal share of the five thousand pounds secured among your children after the decease of yourself and my sister and moreover to enter into an engagement of allowing her during your life one hundred pounds per annum These are conditions which considering everything I had no hesitation in complying with as far as I thought myself privileged for you I shall send this by express that no time may be lost in bringing me your answer You will easily comprehend from these particulars that Mr Wickham 's circumstances are not so hopeless as they are generally believed to be The world has been deceived in that respect and I am happy to say there will be some little money even when all his debts are discharged to settle on my niece in addition to her own fortune If as I conclude will be the case you send me full powers to act in your name throughout the whole of this business I will immediately give directions to Haggerston for preparing a proper settlement There will not be the smallest occasion for your coming to town again therefore stay quiet at Longbourn and depend on my diligence and care Send back your answer as fast as you can and be careful to write explicitly We have judged it best that my niece should be married from this house of which I hope you will approve She comes to us to day I shall write again as soon as anything more is determined on Yours etc EDW GARDINER {para} Is it possible cried Elizabeth when she had finished Can it be possible that he will marry her {para} Wickham is not so undeserving then as we thought him said her sister My dear father I congratulate you {para} And have you answered the letter cried Elizabeth {para} No but it must be done soon {para} Most earnestly did she then entreaty him to lose no more time before he wrote {para} Oh my dear father she cried come back and write immediately Consider how important every moment is in such a case {para} Let me write for you said Jane if you dislike the trouble yourself {para} I dislike it very much he replied but it must be done {para} And so saying he turned back with them and walked towards the house {para} And may I ask said Elizabeth but the terms I suppose must be complied with {para} Complied with I am only ashamed of his asking so little {para} And they MUST marry Yet he is SUCH a man {para} Yes yes they must marry There is nothing else to be done But there are two things that I want very much to know one is how much money your uncle has laid down to bring it about and the other how am I ever to pay him {para} Money My uncle cried Jane what do you mean sir {para} I mean that no man in his senses would marry Lydia on so slight a temptation as one hundred a year during my life and fifty after I am gone {para} That is very true said Elizabeth though it had not occurred to me before His debts to be discharged and something still to remain Oh it must be my uncle 's doings Generous good man I am afraid he has distressed himself A small sum could not do all this {para} No said her father Wickham 's a fool if he takes her with a farthing less than ten thousand pounds I should be sorry to think so ill of him in the very beginning of our relationship {para} Ten thousand pounds Heaven forbid How is half such a sum to be repaid {para} Mr Bennet made no answer and each of them deep in thought continued silent till they reached the house Their father then went on to the library to write and the girls walked into the breakfast room {para} And they are really to be married cried Elizabeth as soon as they were by themselves How strange this is And for THIS we are to be thankful That they should marry small as is their chance of happiness and wretched as is his character we are forced to rejoice Oh Lydia {para} I comfort myself with thinking replied Jane that he certainly would not marry Lydia if he had not a real regard for her Though our kind uncle has done something towards clearing him I cannot believe that ten thousand pounds or anything like it has been advanced He has children of his own and may have more How could he spare half ten thousand pounds {para} If he were ever able to learn what Wickham 's debts have been said Elizabeth and how much is settled on his side on our sister we shall exactly know what Mr Gardiner has done for them because Wickham has not sixpence of his own The kindness of my uncle and aunt can never be requited Their taking her home and affording her their personal protection and countenance is such a sacrifice to her advantage as years of gratitude cannot enough acknowledge By this time she is actually with them If such goodness does not make her miserable now she will never deserve to be happy What a meeting for her when she first sees my aunt {para} We must endeavour to forget all that has passed on either side said Jane I hope and trust they will yet be happy His consenting to marry her is a proof I will believe that he is come to a right way of thinking Their mutual affection will steady them and I flatter myself they will settle so quietly and live in so rational a manner as may in time make their past imprudence forgotten {para} Their conduct has been such replied Elizabeth as neither you nor I nor anybody can ever forget It is useless to talk of it {para} It now occurred to the girls that their mother was in all likelihood perfectly ignorant of what had happened They went to the library therefore and asked their father whether he would not wish them to make it known to her He was writing and without raising his head coolly replied {para} Just as you please {para} May we take my uncle 's letter to read to her {para} Take whatever you like and get away {para} Elizabeth took the letter from his writing table and they went upstairs together Mary and Kitty were both with Mrs Bennet one communication would therefore do for all After a slight preparation for good news the letter was read aloud Mrs Bennet could hardly contain herself As soon as Jane had read Mr Gardiner 's hope of Lydia 's being soon married her joy burst forth and every following sentence added to its exuberance She was now in an irritation as violent from delight as she had ever been fidgety from alarm and vexation To know that her daughter would be married was enough She was disturbed by no fear for her felicity nor humbled by any remembrance of her misconduct {para} My dear dear Lydia she cried This is delightful indeed She will be married I shall see her again She will be married at sixteen My good kind brother I knew how it would be I knew he would manage everything How I long to see her and to see dear Wickham too But the clothes the wedding clothes I will write to my sister Gardiner about them directly Lizzy my dear run down to your father and ask him how much he will give her Stay stay I will go myself Ring the bell Kitty for Hill I will put on my things in a moment My dear dear Lydia How merry we shall be together when we meet {para} Her eldest daughter endeavoured to give some relief to the violence of these transports by leading her thoughts to the obligations which Mr Gardiner 's behaviour laid them all under {para} For we must attribute this happy conclusion she added in a great measure to his kindness We are persuaded that he has pledged himself to assist Mr Wickham with money {para} Well cried her mother it is all very right who should do it but her own uncle If he had not had a family of his own I and my children must have had all his money you know and it is the first time we have ever had anything from him except a few presents Well I am so happy In a short time I shall have a daughter married Mrs Wickham How well it sounds And she was only sixteen last June My dear Jane I am in such a flutter that I am sure I can't write so I will dictate and you write for me We will settle with your father about the money afterwards but the things should be ordered immediately {para} She was then proceeding to all the particulars of calico muslin and cambric and would shortly have dictated some very plentiful orders had not Jane though with some difficulty persuaded her to wait till her father was at leisure to be consulted One day 's delay she observed would be of small importance and her mother was too happy to be quite so obstinate as usual Other schemes too came into her head {para} I will go to Meryton said she as soon as I am dressed and tell the good good news to my sister Philips And as I come back I can call on Lady Lucas and Mrs Long Kitty run down and order the carriage An airing would do me a great deal of good I am sure Girls can I do anything for you in Meryton Oh Here comes Hill My dear Hill have you heard the good news Miss Lydia is going to be married and you shall all have a bowl of punch to make merry at her wedding {para} Mrs Hill began instantly to express her joy Elizabeth received her congratulations amongst the rest and then sick of this folly took refuge in her own room that she might think with freedom {para} Poor Lydia 's situation must at best be bad enough but that it was no worse she had need to be thankful She felt it so and though in looking forward neither rational happiness nor worldly prosperity could be justly expected for her sister in looking back to what they had feared only two hours ago she felt all the advantages of what they had gained {para} Chapter 50 {para} Mr Bennet had very often wished before this period of his life that instead of spending his whole income he had laid by an annual sum for the better provision of his children and of his wife if she survived him He now wished it more than ever Had he done his duty in that respect Lydia need not have been indebted to her uncle for whatever of honour or credit could now be purchased for her The satisfaction of prevailing on one of the most worthless young men in Great Britain to be her husband might then have rested in its proper place {para} He was seriously concerned that a cause of so little advantage to anyone should be forwarded at the sole expense of his brother in law and he was determined if possible to find out the extent of his assistance and to discharge the obligation as soon as he could {para} When first Mr Bennet had married economy was held to be perfectly useless for of course they were to have a son The son was to join in cutting off the entail as soon as he should be of age and the widow and younger children would by that means be provided for Five daughters successively entered the world but yet the son was to come and Mrs Bennet for many years after Lydia 's birth had been certain that he would This event had at last been despaired of but it was then too late to be saving Mrs Bennet had no turn for economy and her husband 's love of independence had alone prevented their exceeding their income {para} Five thousand pounds was settled by marriage articles on Mrs Bennet and the children But in what proportions it should be divided amongst the latter depended on the will of the parents This was one point with regard to Lydia at least which was now to be settled and Mr Bennet could have no hesitation in acceding to the proposal before him In terms of grateful acknowledgment for the kindness of his brother though expressed most concisely he then delivered on paper his perfect approbation of all that was done and his willingness to fulfil the engagements that had been made for him He had never before supposed that could Wickham be prevailed on to marry his daughter it would be done with so little inconvenience to himself as by the present arrangement He would scarcely be ten pounds a year the loser by the hundred that was to be paid them for what with her board and pocket allowance and the continual presents in money which passed to her through her mother 's hands Lydia 's expenses had been very little within that sum {para} That it would be done with such trifling exertion on his side too was another very welcome surprise for his wish at present was to have as little trouble in the business as possible When the first transports of rage which had produced his activity in seeking her were over he naturally returned to all his former indolence His letter was soon dispatched for though dilatory in undertaking business he was quick in its execution He begged to know further particulars of what he was indebted to his brother but was too angry with Lydia to send any message to her {para} The good news spread quickly through the house and with proportionate speed through the neighbourhood It was borne in the latter with decent philosophy To be sure it would have been more for the advantage of conversation had Miss Lydia Bennet come upon the town or as the happiest alternative been secluded from the world in some distant farmhouse But there was much to be talked of in marrying her and the good natured wishes for her well doing which had proceeded before from all the spiteful old ladies in Meryton lost but a little of their spirit in this change of circumstances because with such an husband her misery was considered certain {para} It was a fortnight since Mrs Bennet had been downstairs but on this happy day she again took her seat at the head of her table and in spirits oppressively high No sentiment of shame gave a damp to her triumph The marriage of a daughter which had been the first object of her wishes since Jane was sixteen was now on the point of accomplishment and her thoughts and her words ran wholly on those attendants of elegant nuptials fine muslins new carriages and servants She was busily searching through the neighbourhood for a proper situation for her daughter and without knowing of considering what their income might be rejected many as deficient in size and importance {para} Haye Park might do said she if the Gouldings could quit it or the great house at Stoke if the drawing room were larger but Ashworth is too far off I could not bear to have her ten miles from me and as for Pulvis Lodge the attics are dreadful {para} Her husband allowed her to talk on without interruption while the servants remained But when they had withdrawn he said to her Mrs Bennet before you take any or all of these houses for your son and daugher let us come to a right understanding Into ONE house in this neighbourhood they shall never have admittance I will not encourage the impudence of either by receiving them at Longbourn {para} A long dispute followed this declaration but Mr Bennet was firm It soon led to another and Mrs Bennet found with amazement and horror that her husband would not advance a guinea to buy clothes for his daughter He protested that she should receive from him no mark of affection whatever on the occasion Mrs Bennet could hardly comprehend it That his anger could be carried to such a point of inconceivable resentment as to refuse his daughter a privilege without which her marriage would scarcely seem valid exceeded all she could believe possible She was more alive to the disgrace which her want of new clothes must reflect on her daugher 's nuptials than to any sense of shame at her eloping and living with Wickham a fortnight before they took place {para} Elizabeth was now most heartily sorry that she had from the distress of the moment been led to make Mr Darcy acquainted with with their fears for her sister for since her marriage would so shortly give the proper termination to the elopement they might hope to conceal its unfavourable beginning from all those who were not immediately on the spot {para} She had no fear of its spreading farther through his means There were few people on whose secrecy she would have more confidently depended but at the same time there was no one whose knowledge of a sister 's frailty would have mortified her so much not however from any fear of disadvantage from it individually to herself for at any rate there seemed a gulf impassable between them Had Lydia 's marriage been concluded on the most honourable terms it was not to be supposed that Mr Darcy would connect himself with a family where to every other objection would now be added an alliance and relationship of the nearest kind with a man whom he so justly scorned {para} From such a connection she could not wonder that he would shrink The wish of procuring her regard which she had assured herself of his feeling in Derbyshire could not in rational expectation survive such a blow as this She was humbled she was grieved she repented though she hardly knew of what She became jealous of his esteem when she could no longer hope to be benefited by it She wanted to hear of him when there seemed the least chance of gaining intelligence She was convinced that she could have been happy with him when it was no longer likely they should meet {para} What a triumph for him as she often thought could he know that the proposals which she had proudly spurned only four months ago would now have been most gladly and gratefully received He was as generous she doubted not as the most generous of his sex but while he was mortal there must be a triumph {para} She began now to comprehend that he was exactly the man who in disposition and talents would most suit her His understanding and temper though unlike her own would have answered all her wishes It was an union that must have been to the advantage of both by her ease and liveliness his mind might have been softened his manners improved and from his judgement information and knowledge of the world she must have received benefit of greater importance {para} But no such happy marriage could now teach the admiring multitude what connubial felicity really was An union of a different tendency and precluding the possiblity of the other was soon to be formed in their family {para} How Wickham and Lydia were to be supported in tolerable independence she could not imagine But how little of permanent happiness could belong to a couple who were only brought together because their passions were stronger than their virtue she could easily conjecture {para} Mr Gardiner soon wrote again to his brother To Mr Bennet 's acknowledgments he briefly replied with assurance of his eagerness to promote the welfare of any of his family and concluded with entreaties that the subject might never be mentioned to him again The principal purport of his letter was to inform them that Mr Wickham had resolved on quitting the militia {para} It was greatly my wish that he should do so he added as soon as his marriage was fixed on And I think you will agree with me in considering the removal from that corps as highly advisable both on his account and my niece 's It is Mr Wickham 's intention to go into the regulars and among his former friends there are still some who are able and willing to assist him in the army He has the promise of an ensigncy in General s regiment now quartered in the North It is an advantage to have it so far from this part of the kingdom He promises fairly and I hope among different people where they may each have a character to preserve they will both be more prudent I have written to Colonel Forster to inform him of our present arrangements and to request that he will satisfy the various creditors of Mr Wickham in and near Brighton with assurances of speedy payment for which I have pledged myself And will you give yourself the trouble of carrying similar assurances to his creditors in Meryton of whom I shall subjoin a list according to his information He has given in all his debts I hope at least he has not deceived us Haggerston has our directions and all will be completed in a week They will then join his regiment unless they are first invited to Longbourn and I understand from Mrs Gardiner that my niece is very desirous of seeing you all before she leaves the South She is well and begs to be dutifully remembered to you and your mother Yours etc E GARDINER {para} Mr Bennet and his daughters saw all the advantages of Wickham 's removal from the shire as clearly as Mr Gardiner could do But Mrs Bennet was not so well pleased with it Lydia 's being settled in the North just when she had expected most pleasure and pride in her company for she had by no means given up her plan of their residing in Hertfordshire was a severe disappointment and besides it was such a pity that Lydia should be taken from a regiment where she was acquainted with everybody and had so many favourites {para} She is so fond of Mrs Forster said she it will be quite shocking to send her away And there are several of the young men too that she likes very much The officers may not be so pleasant in General s regiment {para} His daughter 's request for such it might be considered of being admitted into her family again before she set off for the North received at first an absolute negative But Jane and Elizabeth who agreed in wishing for the sake of their sister 's feelings and consequence that she should be noticed on her marriage by her parents urged him so earnestly yet so rationally and so mildly to receive her and her husband at Longbourn as soon as they were married that he was prevailed on to think as they thought and act as they wished And their mother had the satisfaction of knowing that she would be able to show her married daughter in the neighbourhood before she was banished to the North When Mr Bennet wrote again to his brother therefore he sent his permission for them to come and it was settled that as soon as the ceremony was over they should proceed to Longbourn Elizabeth was surprised however that Wickham should consent to such a scheme and had she consulted only her own inclination any meeting with him would have been the last object of her wishes {para} SENSE AND SENSIBILITY {para} by Jane Austen 1811 {para} CHAPTER 1 {para} The family of Dashwood had long been settled in Sussex Their estate was large and their residence was at Norland Park in the centre of their property where for many generations they had lived in so respectable a manner as to engage the general good opinion of their surrounding acquaintance The late owner of this estate was a single man who lived to a very advanced age and who for many years of his life had a constant companion and housekeeper in his sister But her death which happened ten years before his own produced a great alteration in his home for to supply her loss he invited and received into his house the family of his nephew Mr Henry Dashwood the legal inheritor of the Norland estate and the person to whom he intended to bequeath it In the society of his nephew and niece and their children the old Gentleman 's days were comfortably spent His attachment to them all increased The constant attention of Mr and Mrs Henry Dashwood to his wishes which proceeded not merely from interest but from goodness of heart gave him every degree of solid comfort which his age could receive and the cheerfulness of the children added a relish to his existence {para} By a former marriage Mr Henry Dashwood had one son by his present lady three daughters The son a steady respectable young man was amply provided for by the fortune of his mother which had been large and half of which devolved on him on his coming of age By his own marriage likewise which happened soon afterwards he added to his wealth To him therefore the succession to the Norland estate was not so really important as to his sisters for their fortune independent of what might arise to them from their father 's inheriting that property could be but small Their mother had nothing and their father only seven thousand pounds in his own disposal for the remaining moiety of his first wife 's fortune was also secured to her child and he had only a life interest in it {para} The old gentleman died his will was read and like almost every other will gave as much disappointment as pleasure He was neither so unjust nor so ungrateful as to leave his estate from his nephew but he left it to him on such terms as destroyed half the value of the bequest Mr Dashwood had wished for it more for the sake of his wife and daughters than for himself or his son but to his son and his son 's son a child of four years old it was secured in such a way as to leave to himself no power of providing for those who were most dear to him and who most needed a provision by any charge on the estate or by any sale of its valuable woods The whole was tied up for the benefit of this child who in occasional visits with his father and mother at Norland had so far gained on the affections of his uncle by such attractions as are by no means unusual in children of two or three years old an imperfect articulation an earnest desire of having his own way many cunning tricks and a great deal of noise as to outweigh all the value of all the attention which for years he had received from his niece and her daughters He meant not to be unkind however and as a mark of his affection for the three girls he left them a thousand pounds a piece {para} Mr Dashwood 's disappointment was at first severe but his temper was cheerful and sanguine and he might reasonably hope to live many years and by living economically lay by a considerable sum from the produce of an estate already large and capable of almost immediate improvement But the fortune which had been so tardy in coming was his only one twelvemonth He survived his uncle no longer and ten thousand pounds including the late legacies was all that remained for his widow and daughters {para} His son was sent for as soon as his danger was known and to him Mr Dashwood recommended with all the strength and urgency which illness could command the interest of his mother in law and sisters {para} Mr John Dashwood had not the strong feelings of the rest of the family but he was affected by a recommendation of such a nature at such a time and he promised to do every thing in his power to make them comfortable His father was rendered easy by such an assurance and Mr John Dashwood had then leisure to consider how much there might prudently be in his power to do for them {para} He was not an ill disposed young man unless to be rather cold hearted and rather selfish is to be ill disposed but he was in general well respected for he conducted himself with propriety in the discharge of his ordinary duties Had he married a more amiable woman he might have been made still more respectable than he was he might even have been made amiable himself for he was very young when he married and very fond of his wife But Mrs John Dashwood was a strong caricature of himself more narrow minded and selfish {para} When he gave his promise to his father he meditated within himself to increase the fortunes of his sisters by the present of a thousand pounds a piece He then really thought himself equal to it The prospect of four thousand a year in addition to his present income besides the remaining half of his own mother 's fortune warmed his heart and made him feel capable of generosity Yes he would give them three thousand pounds it would be liberal and handsome It would be enough to make them completely easy Three thousand pounds he could spare so considerable a sum with little inconvenience He thought of it all day long and for many days successively and he did not repent {para} No sooner was his father 's funeral over than Mrs John Dashwood without sending any notice of her intention to her mother in law arrived with her child and their attendants No one could dispute her right to come the house was her husband 's from the moment of his father 's decease but the indelicacy of her conduct was so much the greater and to a woman in Mrs Dashwood 's situation with only common feelings must have been highly unpleasing but in HER mind there was a sense of honor so keen a generosity so romantic that any offence of the kind by whomsoever given or received was to her a source of immoveable disgust Mrs John Dashwood had never been a favourite with any of her husband 's family but she had had no opportunity till the present of shewing them with how little attention to the comfort of other people she could act when occasion required it {para} So acutely did Mrs Dashwood feel this ungracious behaviour and so earnestly did she despise her daughter in law for it that on the arrival of the latter she would have quitted the house for ever had not the entreaty of her eldest girl induced her first to reflect on the propriety of going and her own tender love for all her three children determined her afterwards to stay and for their sakes avoid a breach with their brother {para} Elinor this eldest daughter whose advice was so effectual possessed a strength of understanding and coolness of judgment which qualified her though only nineteen to be the counsellor of her mother and enabled her frequently to counteract to the advantage of them all that eagerness of mind in Mrs Dashwood which must generally have led to imprudence She had an excellent heart her disposition was affectionate and her feelings were strong but she knew how to govern them it was a knowledge which her mother had yet to learn and which one of her sisters had resolved never to be taught {para} Marianne 's abilities were in many respects quite equal to Elinor 's She was sensible and clever but eager in everything her sorrows her joys could have no moderation She was generous amiable interesting she was everything but prudent The resemblance between her and her mother was strikingly great {para} Elinor saw with concern the excess of her sister 's sensibility but by Mrs Dashwood it was valued and cherished They encouraged each other now in the violence of their affliction The agony of grief which overpowered them at first was voluntarily renewed was sought for was created again and again They gave themselves up wholly to their sorrow seeking increase of wretchedness in every reflection that could afford it and resolved against ever admitting consolation in future Elinor too was deeply afflicted but still she could struggle she could exert herself She could consult with her brother could receive her sister in law on her arrival and treat her with proper attention and could strive to rouse her mother to similar exertion and encourage her to similar forbearance {para} Margaret the other sister was a good humored well disposed girl but as she had already imbibed a good deal of Marianne 's romance without having much of her sense she did not at thirteen bid fair to equal her sisters at a more advanced period of life {para} CHAPTER 2 {para} Mrs John Dashwood now installed herself mistress of Norland and her mother and sisters in law were degraded to the condition of visitors As such however they were treated by her with quiet civility and by her husband with as much kindness as he could feel towards anybody beyond himself his wife and their child He really pressed them with some earnestness to consider Norland as their home and as no plan appeared so eligible to Mrs Dashwood as remaining there till she could accommodate herself with a house in the neighbourhood his invitation was accepted {para} A continuance in a place where everything reminded her of former delight was exactly what suited her mind In seasons of cheerfulness no temper could be more cheerful than hers or possess in a greater degree that sanguine expectation of happiness which is happiness itself But in sorrow she must be equally carried away by her fancy and as far beyond consolation as in pleasure she was beyond alloy {para} Mrs John Dashwood did not at all approve of what her husband intended to do for his sisters To take three thousand pounds from the fortune of their dear little boy would be impoverishing him to the most dreadful degree She begged him to think again on the subject How could he answer it to himself to rob his child and his only child too of so large a sum And what possible claim could the Miss Dashwoods who were related to him only by half blood which she considered as no relationship at all have on his generosity to so large an amount It was very well known that no affection was ever supposed to exist between the children of any man by different marriages and why was he to ruin himself and their poor little Harry by giving away all his money to his half sisters {para} It was my father 's last request to me replied her husband that I should assist his widow and daughters {para} He did not know what he was talking of I dare say ten to one but he was light headed at the time Had he been in his right senses he could not have thought of such a thing as begging you to give away half your fortune from your own child {para} He did not stipulate for any particular sum my dear Fanny he only requested me in general terms to assist them and make their situation more comfortable than it was in his power to do Perhaps it would have been as well if he had left it wholly to myself He could hardly suppose I should neglect them But as he required the promise I could not do less than give it at least I thought so at the time The promise therefore was given and must be performed Something must be done for them whenever they leave Norland and settle in a new home {para} Well then LET something be done for them but THAT something need not be three thousand pounds Consider she added that when the money is once parted with it never can return Your sisters will marry and it will be gone for ever If indeed it could be restored to our poor little boy {para} Why to be sure said her husband very gravely that would make great difference The time may come when Harry will regret that so large a sum was parted with If he should have a numerous family for instance it would be a very convenient addition {para} To be sure it would {para} Perhaps then it would be better for all parties if the sum were diminished one half Five hundred pounds would be a prodigious increase to their fortunes {para} Oh beyond anything great What brother on earth would do half so much for his sisters even if REALLY his sisters And as it is only half blood But you have such a generous spirit {para} I would not wish to do any thing mean he replied One had rather on such occasions do too much than too little No one at least can think I have not done enough for them even themselves they can hardly expect more {para} There is no knowing what THEY may expect said the lady but we are not to think of their expectations the question is what you can afford to do {para} Certainly and I think I may afford to give them five hundred pounds a piece As it is without any addition of mine they will each have about three thousand pounds on their mother 's death a very comfortable fortune for any young woman {para} To be sure it is and indeed it strikes me that they can want no addition at all They will have ten thousand pounds divided amongst them If they marry they will be sure of doing well and if they do not they may all live very comfortably together on the interest of ten thousand pounds {para} That is very true and therefore I do not know whether upon the whole it would not be more advisable to do something for their mother while she lives rather than for them something of the annuity kind I mean My sisters would feel the good effects of it as well as herself A hundred a year would make them all perfectly comfortable {para} His wife hesitated a little however in giving her consent to this plan {para} To be sure said she it is better than parting with fifteen hundred pounds at once But then if Mrs Dashwood should live fifteen years we shall be completely taken in {para} Fifteen years my dear Fanny her life cannot be worth half that purchase {para} Certainly not but if you observe people always live for ever when there is an annuity to be paid them and she is very stout and healthy and hardly forty An annuity is a very serious business it comes over and over every year and there is no getting rid of it You are not aware of what you are doing I have known a great deal of the trouble of annuities for my mother was clogged with the payment of three to old superannuated servants by my father 's will and it is amazing how disagreeable she found it Twice every year these annuities were to be paid and then there was the trouble of getting it to them and then one of them was said to have died and afterwards it turned out to be no such thing My mother was quite sick of it Her income was not her own she said with such perpetual claims on it and it was the more unkind in my father because otherwise the money would have been entirely at my mother 's disposal without any restriction whatever It has given me such an abhorrence of annuities that I am sure I would not pin myself down to the payment of one for all the world {para} It is certainly an unpleasant thing replied Mr Dashwood to have those kind of yearly drains on one 's income One 's fortune as your mother justly says is NOT one 's own To be tied down to the regular payment of such a sum on every rent day is by no means desirable it takes away one 's independence {para} Undoubtedly and after all you have no thanks for it They think themselves secure you do no more than what is expected and it raises no gratitude at all If I were you whatever I did should be done at my own discretion entirely I would not bind myself to allow them any thing yearly It may be very inconvenient some years to spare a hundred or even fifty pounds from our own expenses {para} I believe you are right my love it will be better that there should by no annuity in the case whatever I may give them occasionally will be of far greater assistance than a yearly allowance because they would only enlarge their style of living if they felt sure of a larger income and would not be sixpence the richer for it at the end of the year It will certainly be much the best way A present of fifty pounds now and then will prevent their ever being distressed for money and will I think be amply discharging my promise to my father {para} To be sure it will Indeed to say the truth I am convinced within myself that your father had no idea of your giving them any money at all The assistance he thought of I dare say was only such as might be reasonably expected of you for instance such as looking out for a comfortable small house for them helping them to move their things and sending them presents of fish and game and so forth whenever they are in season I 'll lay my life that he meant nothing farther indeed it would be very strange and unreasonable if he did Do but consider my dear Mr Dashwood how excessively comfortable your mother in law and her daughters may live on the interest of seven thousand pounds besides the thousand pounds belonging to each of the girls which brings them in fifty pounds a year a piece and of course they will pay their mother for their board out of it Altogether they will have five hundred a year amongst them and what on earth can four women want for more than that They will live so cheap Their housekeeping will be nothing at all They will have no carriage no horses and hardly any servants they will keep no company and can have no expenses of any kind Only conceive how comfortable they will be Five hundred a year I am sure I cannot imagine how they will spend half of it and as to your giving them more it is quite absurd to think of it They will be much more able to give YOU something {para} Upon my word said Mr Dashwood I believe you are perfectly right My father certainly could mean nothing more by his request to me than what you say I clearly understand it now and I will strictly fulfil my engagement by such acts of assistance and kindness to them as you have described When my mother removes into another house my services shall be readily given to accommodate her as far as I can Some little present of furniture too may be acceptable then {para} Certainly returned Mrs John Dashwood But however ONE thing must be considered When your father and mother moved to Norland though the furniture of Stanhill was sold all the china plate and linen was saved and is now left to your mother Her house will therefore be almost completely fitted up as soon as she takes it {para} That is a material consideration undoubtedly A valuable legacy indeed And yet some of the plate would have been a very pleasant addition to our own stock here {para} Yes and the set of breakfast china is twice as handsome as what belongs to this house A great deal too handsome in my opinion for any place THEY can ever afford to live in But however so it is Your father thought only of THEM And I must say this that you owe no particular gratitude to him nor attention to his wishes for we very well know that if he could he would have left almost everything in the world to THEM {para} This argument was irresistible It gave to his intentions whatever of decision was wanting before and he finally resolved that it would be absolutely unnecessary if not highly indecorous to do more for the widow and children of his father than such kind of neighbourly acts as his own wife pointed out {para} CHAPTER 3 {para} Mrs Dashwood remained at Norland several months not from any disinclination to move when the sight of every well known spot ceased to raise the violent emotion which it produced for a while for when her spirits began to revive and her mind became capable of some other exertion than that of heightening its affliction by melancholy remembrances she was impatient to be gone and indefatigable in her inquiries for a suitable dwelling in the neighbourhood of Norland for to remove far from that beloved spot was impossible But she could hear of no situation that at once answered her notions of comfort and ease and suited the prudence of her eldest daughter whose steadier judgment rejected several houses as too large for their income which her mother would have approved {para} Mrs Dashwood had been informed by her husband of the solemn promise on the part of his son in their favour which gave comfort to his last earthly reflections She doubted the sincerity of this assurance no more than he had doubted it himself and she thought of it for her daughters sake with satisfaction though as for herself she was persuaded that a much smaller provision than 7000L would support her in affluence For their brother 's sake too for the sake of his own heart she rejoiced and she reproached herself for being unjust to his merit before in believing him incapable of generosity His attentive behaviour to herself and his sisters convinced her that their welfare was dear to him and for a long time she firmly relied on the liberality of his intentions {para} The contempt which she had very early in their acquaintance felt for her daughter in law was very much increased by the farther knowledge of her character which half a year 's residence in her family afforded and perhaps in spite of every consideration of politeness or maternal affection on the side of the former the two ladies might have found it impossible to have lived together so long had not a particular circumstance occurred to give still greater eligibility according to the opinions of Mrs Dashwood to her daughters continuance at Norland {para} This circumstance was a growing attachment between her eldest girl and the brother of Mrs John Dashwood a gentleman like and pleasing young man who was introduced to their acquaintance soon after his sister 's establishment at Norland and who had since spent the greatest part of his time there {para} Some mothers might have encouraged the intimacy from motives of interest for Edward Ferrars was the eldest son of a man who had died very rich and some might have repressed it from motives of prudence for except a trifling sum the whole of his fortune depended on the will of his mother But Mrs Dashwood was alike uninfluenced by either consideration It was enough for her that he appeared to be amiable that he loved her daughter and that Elinor returned the partiality It was contrary to every doctrine of her 's that difference of fortune should keep any couple asunder who were attracted by resemblance of disposition and that Elinor 's merit should not be acknowledged by every one who knew her was to her comprehension impossible {para} Edward Ferrars was not recommended to their good opinion by any peculiar graces of person or address He was not handsome and his manners required intimacy to make them pleasing He was too diffident to do justice to himself but when his natural shyness was overcome his behaviour gave every indication of an open affectionate heart His understanding was good and his education had given it solid improvement But he was neither fitted by abilities nor disposition to answer the wishes of his mother and sister who longed to see him distinguished as they hardly knew what They wanted him to make a fine figure in the world in some manner or other His mother wished to interest him in political concerns to get him into parliament or to see him connected with some of the great men of the day Mrs John Dashwood wished it likewise but in the mean while till one of these superior blessings could be attained it would have quieted her ambition to see him driving a barouche But Edward had no turn for great men or barouches All his wishes centered in domestic comfort and the quiet of private life Fortunately he had a younger brother who was more promising {para} Edward had been staying several weeks in the house before he engaged much of Mrs Dashwood 's attention for she was at that time in such affliction as rendered her careless of surrounding objects She saw only that he was quiet and unobtrusive and she liked him for it He did not disturb the wretchedness of her mind by ill timed conversation She was first called to observe and approve him farther by a reflection which Elinor chanced one day to make on the difference between him and his sister It was a contrast which recommended him most forcibly to her mother {para} It is enough said she to say that he is unlike Fanny is enough It implies everything amiable I love him already {para} I think you will like him said Elinor when you know more of him {para} Like him replied her mother with a smile I feel no sentiment of approbation inferior to love {para} You may esteem him {para} I have never yet known what it was to separate esteem and love {para} Mrs Dashwood now took pains to get acquainted with him Her manners were attaching and soon banished his reserve She speedily comprehended all his merits the persuasion of his regard for Elinor perhaps assisted her penetration but she really felt assured of his worth and even that quietness of manner which militated against all her established ideas of what a young man 's address ought to be was no longer uninteresting when she knew his heart to be warm and his temper affectionate {para} No sooner did she perceive any symptom of love in his behaviour to Elinor than she considered their serious attachment as certain and looked forward to their marriage as rapidly approaching {para} In a few months my dear Marianne said she Elinor will in all probability be settled for life We shall miss her but SHE will be happy {para} Oh Mamma how shall we do without her {para} My love it will be scarcely a separation We shall live within a few miles of each other and shall meet every day of our lives You will gain a brother a real affectionate brother I have the highest opinion in the world of Edward 's heart But you look grave Marianne do you disapprove your sister 's choice {para} Perhaps said Marianne I may consider it with some surprise Edward is very amiable and I love him tenderly But yet he is not the kind of young man there is something wanting his figure is not striking it has none of that grace which I should expect in the man who could seriously attach my sister His eyes want all that spirit that fire which at once announce virtue and intelligence And besides all this I am afraid Mamma he has no real taste Music seems scarcely to attract him and though he admires Elinor 's drawings very much it is not the admiration of a person who can understand their worth It is evident in spite of his frequent attention to her while she draws that in fact he knows nothing of the matter He admires as a lover not as a connoisseur To satisfy me those characters must be united I could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with my own He must enter into all my feelings the same books the same music must charm us both Oh mama how spiritless how tame was Edward 's manner in reading to us last night I felt for my sister most severely Yet she bore it with so much composure she seemed scarcely to notice it I could hardly keep my seat To hear those beautiful lines which have frequently almost driven me wild pronounced with such impenetrable calmness such dreadful indifference {para} He would certainly have done more justice to simple and elegant prose I thought so at the time but you WOULD give him Cowper {para} Nay Mamma if he is not to be animated by Cowper but we must allow for difference of taste Elinor has not my feelings and therefore she may overlook it and be happy with him But it would have broke MY heart had I loved him to hear him read with so little sensibility Mama the more I know of the world the more am I convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love I require so much He must have all Edward 's virtues and his person and manners must ornament his goodness with every possible charm {para} Remember my love that you are not seventeen It is yet too early in life to despair of such a happiness Why should you be less fortunate than your mother In one circumstance only my Marianne may your destiny be different from her 's {para} CHAPTER 4 {para} What a pity it is Elinor said Marianne that Edward should have no taste for drawing {para} No taste for drawing replied Elinor why should you think so He does not draw himself indeed but he has great pleasure in seeing the performances of other people and I assure you he is by no means deficient in natural taste though he has not had opportunities of improving it Had he ever been in the way of learning I think he would have drawn very well He distrusts his own judgment in such matters so much that he is always unwilling to give his opinion on any picture but he has an innate propriety and simplicity of taste which in general direct him perfectly right {para} Marianne was afraid of offending and said no more on the subject but the kind of approbation which Elinor described as excited in him by the drawings of other people was very far from that rapturous delight which in her opinion could alone be called taste Yet though smiling within herself at the mistake she honoured her sister for that blind partiality to Edward which produced it {para} I hope Marianne continued Elinor you do not consider him as deficient in general taste Indeed I think I may say that you cannot for your behaviour to him is perfectly cordial and if THAT were your opinion I am sure you could never be civil to him {para} Marianne hardly knew what to say She would not wound the feelings of her sister on any account and yet to say what she did not believe was impossible At length she replied {para} Do not be offended Elinor if my praise of him is not in every thing equal to your sense of his merits I have not had so many opportunities of estimating the minuter propensities of his mind his inclinations and tastes as you have but I have the highest opinion in the world of his goodness and sense I think him every thing that is worthy and amiable {para} I am sure replied Elinor with a smile that his dearest friends could not be dissatisfied with such commendation as that I do not perceive how you could express yourself more warmly {para} Marianne was rejoiced to find her sister so easily pleased {para} Of his sense and his goodness continued Elinor no one can I think be in doubt who has seen him often enough to engage him in unreserved conversation The excellence of his understanding and his principles can be concealed only by that shyness which too often keeps him silent You know enough of him to do justice to his solid worth But of his minuter propensities as you call them you have from peculiar circumstances been kept more ignorant than myself He and I have been at times thrown a good deal together while you have been wholly engrossed on the most affectionate principle by my mother I have seen a great deal of him have studied his sentiments and heard his opinion on subjects of literature and taste and upon the whole I venture to pronounce that his mind is well informed enjoyment of books exceedingly great his imagination lively his observation just and correct and his taste delicate and pure His abilities in every respect improve as much upon acquaintance as his manners and person At first sight his address is certainly not striking and his person can hardly be called handsome till the expression of his eyes which are uncommonly good and the general sweetness of his countenance is perceived At present I know him so well that I think him really handsome or at least almost so What say you Marianne {para} I shall very soon think him handsome Elinor if I do not now When you tell me to love him as a brother I shall no more see imperfection in his face than I now do in his heart {para} Elinor started at this declaration and was sorry for the warmth she had been betrayed into in speaking of him She felt that Edward stood very high in her opinion She believed the regard to be mutual but she required greater certainty of it to make Marianne 's conviction of their attachment agreeable to her She knew that what Marianne and her mother conjectured one moment they believed the next that with them to wish was to hope and to hope was to expect She tried to explain the real state of the case to her sister {para} I do not attempt to deny said she that I think very highly of him that I greatly esteem that I like him {para} Marianne here burst forth with indignation {para} Esteem him Like him Cold hearted Elinor Oh worse than cold hearted Ashamed of being otherwise Use those words again and I will leave the room this moment {para} Elinor could not help laughing Excuse me said she and be assured that I meant no offence to you by speaking in so quiet a way of my own feelings Believe them to be stronger than I have declared believe them in short to be such as his merit and the suspicion the hope of his affection for me may warrant without imprudence or folly But farther than this you must not believe I am by no means assured of his regard for me There are moments when the extent of it seems doubtful and till his sentiments are fully known you cannot wonder at my wishing to avoid any encouragement of my own partiality by believing or calling it more than it is In my heart I feel little scarcely any doubt of his preference But there are other points to be considered besides his inclination He is very far from being independent What his mother really is we cannot know but from Fanny 's occasional mention of her conduct and opinions we have never been disposed to think her amiable and I am very much mistaken if Edward is not himself aware that there would be many difficulties in his way if he were to wish to marry a woman who had not either a great fortune or high rank {para} Marianne was astonished to find how much the imagination of her mother and herself had outstripped the truth {para} And you really are not engaged to him said she Yet it certainly soon will happen But two advantages will proceed from this delay I shall not lose you so soon and Edward will have greater opportunity of improving that natural taste for your favourite pursuit which must be so indispensably necessary to your future felicity Oh if he should be so far stimulated by your genius as to learn to draw himself how delightful it would be {para} Elinor had given her real opinion to her sister She could not consider her partiality for Edward in so prosperous a state as Marianne had believed it There was at times a want of spirits about him which if it did not denote indifference spoke a something almost as unpromising A doubt of her regard supposing him to feel it need not give him more than inquietude It would not be likely to produce that dejection of mind which frequently attended him A more reasonable cause might be found in the dependent situation which forbad the indulgence of his affection She knew that his mother neither behaved to him so as to make his home comfortable at present nor to give him any assurance that he might form a home for himself without strictly attending to her views for his aggrandizement With such a knowledge as this it was impossible for Elinor to feel easy on the subject She was far from depending on that result of his preference of her which her mother and sister still considered as certain Nay the longer they were together the more doubtful seemed the nature of his regard and sometimes for a few painful minutes she believed it to be no more than friendship {para} But whatever might really be its limits it was enough when perceived by his sister to make her uneasy and at the same time which was still more common to make her uncivil She took the first opportunity of affronting her mother in law on the occasion talking to her so expressively of her brother 's great expectations of Mrs Ferrars 's resolution that both her sons should marry well and of the danger attending any young woman who attempted to DRAW HIM IN that Mrs Dashwood could neither pretend to be unconscious nor endeavor to be calm She gave her an answer which marked her contempt and instantly left the room resolving that whatever might be the inconvenience or expense of so sudden a removal her beloved Elinor should not be exposed another week to such insinuations {para} In this state of her spirits a letter was delivered to her from the post which contained a proposal particularly well timed It was the offer of a small house on very easy terms belonging to a relation of her own a gentleman of consequence and property in Devonshire The letter was from this gentleman himself and written in the true spirit of friendly accommodation He understood that she was in need of a dwelling and though the house he now offered her was merely a cottage he assured her that everything should be done to it which she might think necessary if the situation pleased her He earnestly pressed her after giving the particulars of the house and garden to come with her daughters to Barton Park the place of his own residence from whence she might judge herself whether Barton Cottage for the houses were in the same parish could by any alteration be made comfortable to her He seemed really anxious to accommodate them and the whole of his letter was written in so friendly a style as could not fail of giving pleasure to his cousin more especially at a moment when she was suffering under the cold and unfeeling behaviour of her nearer connections She needed no time for deliberation or inquiry Her resolution was formed as she read The situation of Barton in a county so far distant from Sussex as Devonshire which but a few hours before would have been a sufficient objection to outweigh every possible advantage belonging to the place was now its first recommendation To quit the neighbourhood of Norland was no longer an evil it was an object of desire it was a blessing in comparison of the misery of continuing her daughter in law 's guest and to remove for ever from that beloved place would be less painful than to inhabit or visit it while such a woman was its mistress She instantly wrote Sir John Middleton her acknowledgment of his kindness and her acceptance of his proposal and then hastened to shew both letters to her daughters that she might be secure of their approbation before her answer were sent {para} Elinor had always thought it would be more prudent for them to settle at some distance from Norland than immediately amongst their present acquaintance On THAT head therefore it was not for her to oppose her mother 's intention of removing into Devonshire The house too as described by Sir John was on so simple a scale and the rent so uncommonly moderate as to leave her no right of objection on either point and therefore though it was not a plan which brought any charm to her fancy though it was a removal from the vicinity of Norland beyond her wishes she made no attempt to dissuade her mother from sending a letter of acquiescence {para} CHAPTER 5 {para} No sooner was her answer dispatched than Mrs Dashwood indulged herself in the pleasure of announcing to her son in law and his wife that she was provided with a house and should incommode them no longer than till every thing were ready for her inhabiting it They heard her with surprise Mrs John Dashwood said nothing but her husband civilly hoped that she would not be settled far from Norland She had great satisfaction in replying that she was going into Devonshire Edward turned hastily towards her on hearing this and in a voice of surprise and concern which required no explanation to her repeated Devonshire Are you indeed going there So far from hence And to what part of it She explained the situation It was within four miles northward of Exeter {para} It is but a cottage she continued but I hope to see many of my friends in it A room or two can easily be added and if my friends find no difficulty in travelling so far to see me I am sure I will find none in accommodating them {para} She concluded with a very kind invitation to Mr and Mrs John Dashwood to visit her at Barton and to Edward she gave one with still greater affection Though her late conversation with her daughter in law had made her resolve on remaining at Norland no longer than was unavoidable it had not produced the smallest effect on her in that point to which it principally tended To separate Edward and Elinor was as far from being her object as ever and she wished to show Mrs John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother how totally she disregarded her disapprobation of the match {para} Mr John Dashwood told his mother again and again how exceedingly sorry he was that she had taken a house at such a distance from Norland as to prevent his being of any service to her in removing her furniture He really felt conscientiously vexed on the occasion for the very exertion to which he had limited the performance of his promise to his father was by this arrangement rendered impracticable The furniture was all sent around by water It chiefly consisted of household linen plate china and books with a handsome pianoforte of Marianne 's Mrs John Dashwood saw the packages depart with a sigh she could not help feeling it hard that as Mrs Dashwood 's income would be so trifling in comparison with their own she should have any handsome article of furniture {para} Mrs Dashwood took the house for a twelvemonth it was ready furnished and she might have immediate possession No difficulty arose on either side in the agreement and she waited only for the disposal of her effects at Norland and to determine her future household before she set off for the west and this as she was exceedingly rapid in the performance of everything that interested her was soon done The horses which were left her by her husband had been sold soon after his death and an opportunity now offering of disposing of her carriage she agreed to sell that likewise at the earnest advice of her eldest daughter For the comfort of her children had she consulted only her own wishes she would have kept it but the discretion of Elinor prevailed HER wisdom too limited the number of their servants to three two maids and a man with whom they were speedily provided from amongst those who had formed their establishment at Norland {para} The man and one of the maids were sent off immediately into Devonshire to prepare the house for their mistress 's arrival for as Lady Middleton was entirely unknown to Mrs Dashwood she preferred going directly to the cottage to being a visitor at Barton Park and she relied so undoubtingly on Sir John 's description of the house as to feel no curiosity to examine it herself till she entered it as her own Her eagerness to be gone from Norland was preserved from diminution by the evident satisfaction of her daughter in law in the prospect of her removal a satisfaction which was but feebly attempted to be concealed under a cold invitation to her to defer her departure Now was the time when her son in law 's promise to his father might with particular propriety be fulfilled Since he had neglected to do it on first coming to the estate their quitting his house might be looked on as the most suitable period for its accomplishment But Mrs Dashwood began shortly to give over every hope of the kind and to be convinced from the general drift of his discourse that his assistance extended no farther than their maintenance for six months at Norland He so frequently talked of the increasing expenses of housekeeping and of the perpetual demands upon his purse which a man of any consequence in the world was beyond calculation exposed to that he seemed rather to stand in need of more money himself than to have any design of giving money away {para} In a very few weeks from the day which brought Sir John Middleton 's first letter to Norland every thing was so far settled in their future abode as to enable Mrs Dashwood and her daughters to begin their journey {para} Many were the tears shed by them in their last adieus to a place so much beloved Dear dear Norland said Marianne as she wandered alone before the house on the last evening of their being there when shall I cease to regret you when learn to feel a home elsewhere Oh happy house could you know what I suffer in now viewing you from this spot from whence perhaps I may view you no more And you ye well known trees but you will continue the same No leaf will decay because we are removed nor any branch become motionless although we can observe you no longer No you will continue the same unconscious of the pleasure or the regret you occasion and insensible of any change in those who walk under your shade But who will remain to enjoy you {para} CHAPTER 6 {para} The first part of their journey was performed in too melancholy a disposition to be otherwise than tedious and unpleasant But as they drew towards the end of it their interest in the appearance of a country which they were to inhabit overcame their dejection and a view of Barton Valley as they entered it gave them cheerfulness It was a pleasant fertile spot well wooded and rich in pasture After winding along it for more than a mile they reached their own house A small green court was the whole of its demesne in front and a neat wicket gate admitted them into it {para} As a house Barton Cottage though small was comfortable and compact but as a cottage it was defective for the building was regular the roof was tiled the window shutters were not painted green nor were the walls covered with honeysuckles A narrow passage led directly through the house into the garden behind On each side of the entrance was a sitting room about sixteen feet square and beyond them were the offices and the stairs Four bed rooms and two garrets formed the rest of the house It had not been built many years and was in good repair In comparison of Norland it was poor and small indeed but the tears which recollection called forth as they entered the house were soon dried away They were cheered by the joy of the servants on their arrival and each for the sake of the others resolved to appear happy It was very early in September the season was fine and from first seeing the place under the advantage of good weather they received an impression in its favour which was of material service in recommending it to their lasting approbation {para} The situation of the house was good High hills rose immediately behind and at no great distance on each side some of which were open downs the others cultivated and woody The village of Barton was chiefly on one of these hills and formed a pleasant view from the cottage windows The prospect in front was more extensive it commanded the whole of the valley and reached into the country beyond The hills which surrounded the cottage terminated the valley in that direction under another name and in another course it branched out again between two of the steepest of them {para} With the size and furniture of the house Mrs Dashwood was upon the whole well satisfied for though her former style of life rendered many additions to the latter indispensable yet to add and improve was a delight to her and she had at this time ready money enough to supply all that was wanted of greater elegance to the apartments As for the house itself to be sure said she it is too small for our family but we will make ourselves tolerably comfortable for the present as it is too late in the year for improvements Perhaps in the spring if I have plenty of money as I dare say I shall we may think about building These parlors are both too small for such parties of our friends as I hope to see often collected here and I have some thoughts of throwing the passage into one of them with perhaps a part of the other and so leave the remainder of that other for an entrance this with a new drawing room which may be easily added and a bed chamber and garret above will make it a very snug little cottage I could wish the stairs were handsome But one must not expect every thing though I suppose it would be no difficult matter to widen them I shall see how much I am before hand with the world in the spring and we will plan our improvements accordingly {para} In the mean time till all these alterations could be made from the savings of an income of five hundred a year by a woman who never saved in her life they were wise enough to be contented with the house as it was and each of them was busy in arranging their particular concerns and endeavoring by placing around them books and other possessions to form themselves a home Marianne 's pianoforte was unpacked and properly disposed of and Elinor 's drawings were affixed to the walls of their sitting room {para} In such employments as these they were interrupted soon after breakfast the next day by the entrance of their landlord who called to welcome them to Barton and to offer them every accommodation from his own house and garden in which theirs might at present be deficient Sir John Middleton was a good looking man about forty He had formerly visited at Stanhill but it was too long for his young cousins to remember him His countenance was thoroughly good humoured and his manners were as friendly as the style of his letter Their arrival seemed to afford him real satisfaction and their comfort to be an object of real solicitude to him He said much of his earnest desire of their living in the most sociable terms with his family and pressed them so cordially to dine at Barton Park every day till they were better settled at home that though his entreaties were carried to a point of perseverance beyond civility they could not give offence His kindness was not confined to words for within an hour after he left them a large basket full of garden stuff and fruit arrived from the park which was followed before the end of the day by a present of game He insisted moreover on conveying all their letters to and from the post for them and would not be denied the satisfaction of sending them his newspaper every day {para} Lady Middleton had sent a very civil message by him denoting her intention of waiting on Mrs Dashwood as soon as she could be assured that her visit would be no inconvenience and as this message was answered by an invitation equally polite her ladyship was introduced to them the next day {para} They were of course very anxious to see a person on whom so much of their comfort at Barton must depend and the elegance of her appearance was favourable to their wishes Lady Middleton was not more than six or seven and twenty her face was handsome her figure tall and striking and her address graceful Her manners had all the elegance which her husband 's wanted But they would have been improved by some share of his frankness and warmth and her visit was long enough to detract something from their first admiration by shewing that though perfectly well bred she was reserved cold and had nothing to say for herself beyond the most common place inquiry or remark {para} Conversation however was not wanted for Sir John was very chatty and Lady Middleton had taken the wise precaution of bringing with her their eldest child a fine little boy about six years old by which means there was one subject always to be recurred to by the ladies in case of extremity for they had to enquire his name and age admire his beauty and ask him questions which his mother answered for him while he hung about her and held down his head to the great surprise of her ladyship who wondered at his being so shy before company as he could make noise enough at home On every formal visit a child ought to be of the party by way of provision for discourse In the present case it took up ten minutes to determine whether the boy were most like his father or mother and in what particular he resembled either for of course every body differed and every body was astonished at the opinion of the others {para} An opportunity was soon to be given to the Dashwoods of debating on the rest of the children as Sir John would not leave the house without securing their promise of dining at the park the next day {para} CHAPTER 7 {para} Barton Park was about half a mile from the cottage The ladies had passed near it in their way along the valley but it was screened from their view at home by the projection of a hill The house was large and handsome and the Middletons lived in a style of equal hospitality and elegance The former was for Sir John 's gratification the latter for that of his lady They were scarcely ever without some friends staying with them in the house and they kept more company of every kind than any other family in the neighbourhood It was necessary to the happiness of both for however dissimilar in temper and outward behaviour they strongly resembled each other in that total want of talent and taste which confined their employments unconnected with such as society produced within a very narrow compass Sir John was a sportsman Lady Middleton a mother He hunted and shot and she humoured her children and these were their only resources Lady Middleton had the advantage of being able to spoil her children all the year round while Sir John 's independent employments were in existence only half the time Continual engagements at home and abroad however supplied all the deficiencies of nature and education supported the good spirits of Sir John and gave exercise to the good breeding of his wife {para} Lady Middleton piqued herself upon the elegance of her table and of all her domestic arrangements and from this kind of vanity was her greatest enjoyment in any of their parties But Sir John 's satisfaction in society was much more real he delighted in collecting about him more young people than his house would hold and the noisier they were the better was he pleased He was a blessing to all the juvenile part of the neighbourhood for in summer he was for ever forming parties to eat cold ham and chicken out of doors and in winter his private balls were numerous enough for any young lady who was not suffering under the unsatiable appetite of fifteen {para} The arrival of a new family in the country was always a matter of joy to him and in every point of view he was charmed with the inhabitants he had now procured for his cottage at Barton The Miss Dashwoods were young pretty and unaffected It was enough to secure his good opinion for to be unaffected was all that a pretty girl could want to make her mind as captivating as her person The friendliness of his disposition made him happy in accommodating those whose situation might be considered in comparison with the past as unfortunate In showing kindness to his cousins therefore he had the real satisfaction of a good heart and in settling a family of females only in his cottage he had all the satisfaction of a sportsman for a sportsman though he esteems only those of his sex who are sportsmen likewise is not often desirous of encouraging their taste by admitting them to a residence within his own manor {para} Mrs Dashwood and her daughters were met at the door of the house by Sir John who welcomed them to Barton Park with unaffected sincerity and as he attended them to the drawing room repeated to the young ladies the concern which the same subject had drawn from him the day before at being unable to get any smart young men to meet them They would see he said only one gentleman there besides himself a particular friend who was staying at the park but who was neither very young nor very gay He hoped they would all excuse the smallness of the party and could assure them it should never happen so again He had been to several families that morning in hopes of procuring some addition to their number but it was moonlight and every body was full of engagements Luckily Lady Middleton 's mother had arrived at Barton within the last hour and as she was a very cheerful agreeable woman he hoped the young ladies would not find it so very dull as they might imagine The young ladies as well as their mother were perfectly satisfied with having two entire strangers of the party and wished for no more {para} Mrs Jennings Lady Middleton 's mother was a good humoured merry fat elderly woman who talked a great deal seemed very happy and rather vulgar She was full of jokes and laughter and before dinner was over had said many witty things on the subject of lovers and husbands hoped they had not left their hearts behind them in Sussex and pretended to see them blush whether they did or not Marianne was vexed at it for her sister 's sake and turned her eyes towards Elinor to see how she bore these attacks with an earnestness which gave Elinor far more pain than could arise from such common place raillery as Mrs Jennings 's {para} Colonel Brandon the friend of Sir John seemed no more adapted by resemblance of manner to be his friend than Lady Middleton was to be his wife or Mrs Jennings to be Lady Middleton 's mother He was silent and grave His appearance however was not unpleasing in spite of his being in the opinion of Marianne and Margaret an absolute old bachelor for he was on the wrong side of five and thirty but though his face was not handsome his countenance was sensible and his address was particularly gentlemanlike {para} There was nothing in any of the party which could recommend them as companions to the Dashwoods but the cold insipidity of Lady Middleton was so particularly repulsive that in comparison of it the gravity of Colonel Brandon and even the boisterous mirth of Sir John and his mother in law was interesting Lady Middleton seemed to be roused to enjoyment only by the entrance of her four noisy children after dinner who pulled her about tore her clothes and put an end to every kind of discourse except what related to themselves {para} In the evening as Marianne was discovered to be musical she was invited to play The instrument was unlocked every body prepared to be charmed and Marianne who sang very well at their request went through the chief of the songs which Lady Middleton had brought into the family on her marriage and which perhaps had lain ever since in the same position on the pianoforte for her ladyship had celebrated that event by giving up music although by her mother 's account she had played extremely well and by her own was very fond of it {para} Marianne 's performance was highly applauded Sir John was loud in his admiration at the end of every song and as loud in his conversation with the others while every song lasted Lady Middleton frequently called him to order wondered how any one 's attention could be diverted from music for a moment and asked Marianne to sing a particular song which Marianne had just finished Colonel Brandon alone of all the party heard her without being in raptures He paid her only the compliment of attention and she felt a respect for him on the occasion which the others had reasonably forfeited by their shameless want of taste His pleasure in music though it amounted not to that ecstatic delight which alone could sympathize with her own was estimable when contrasted against the horrible insensibility of the others and she was reasonable enough to allow that a man of five and thirty might well have outlived all acuteness of feeling and every exquisite power of enjoyment She was perfectly disposed to make every allowance for the colonel 's advanced state of life which humanity required {para} CHAPTER 8 {para} Mrs Jennings was a widow with an ample jointure She had only two daughters both of whom she had lived to see respectably married and she had now therefore nothing to do but to marry all the rest of the world In the promotion of this object she was zealously active as far as her ability reached and missed no opportunity of projecting weddings among all the young people of her acquaintance She was remarkably quick in the discovery of attachments and had enjoyed the advantage of raising the blushes and the vanity of many a young lady by insinuations of her power over such a young man and this kind of discernment enabled her soon after her arrival at Barton decisively to pronounce that Colonel Brandon was very much in love with Marianne Dashwood She rather suspected it to be so on the very first evening of their being together from his listening so attentively while she sang to them and when the visit was returned by the Middletons dining at the cottage the fact was ascertained by his listening to her again It must be so She was perfectly convinced of it It would be an excellent match for HE was rich and SHE was handsome Mrs Jennings had been anxious to see Colonel Brandon well married ever since her connection with Sir John first brought him to her knowledge and she was always anxious to get a good husband for every pretty girl {para} The immediate advantage to herself was by no means inconsiderable for it supplied her with endless jokes against them both At the park she laughed at the colonel and in the cottage at Marianne To the former her raillery was probably as far as it regarded only himself perfectly indifferent but to the latter it was at first incomprehensible and when its object was understood she hardly knew whether most to laugh at its absurdity or censure its impertinence for she considered it as an unfeeling reflection on the colonel 's advanced years and on his forlorn condition as an old bachelor {para} Mrs Dashwood who could not think a man five years younger than herself so exceedingly ancient as he appeared to the youthful fancy of her daughter ventured to clear Mrs Jennings from the probability of wishing to throw ridicule on his age {para} But at least Mamma you cannot deny the absurdity of the accusation though you may not think it intentionally ill natured Colonel Brandon is certainly younger than Mrs Jennings but he is old enough to be MY father and if he were ever animated enough to be in love must have long outlived every sensation of the kind It is too ridiculous When is a man to be safe from such wit if age and infirmity will not protect him {para} Infirmity said Elinor do you call Colonel Brandon infirm I can easily suppose that his age may appear much greater to you than to my mother but you can hardly deceive yourself as to his having the use of his limbs {para} Did not you hear him complain of the rheumatism and is not that the commonest infirmity of declining life {para} My dearest child said her mother laughing at this rate you must be in continual terror of MY decay and it must seem to you a miracle that my life has been extended to the advanced age of forty {para} Mamma you are not doing me justice I know very well that Colonel Brandon is not old enough to make his friends yet apprehensive of losing him in the course of nature He may live twenty years longer But thirty five has nothing to do with matrimony {para} Perhaps said Elinor thirty five and seventeen had better not have any thing to do with matrimony together But if there should by any chance happen to be a woman who is single at seven and twenty I should not think Colonel Brandon 's being thirty five any objection to his marrying HER {para} A woman of seven and twenty said Marianne after pausing a moment can never hope to feel or inspire affection again and if her home be uncomfortable or her fortune small I can suppose that she might bring herself to submit to the offices of a nurse for the sake of the provision and security of a wife In his marrying such a woman therefore there would be nothing unsuitable It would be a compact of convenience and the world would be satisfied In my eyes it would be no marriage at all but that would be nothing To me it would seem only a commercial exchange in which each wished to be benefited at the expense of the other {para} It would be impossible I know replied Elinor to convince you that a woman of seven and twenty could feel for a man of thirty five anything near enough to love to make him a desirable companion to her But I must object to your dooming Colonel Brandon and his wife to the constant confinement of a sick chamber merely because he chanced to complain yesterday a very cold damp day of a slight rheumatic feel in one of his shoulders {para} But he talked of flannel waistcoats said Marianne and with me a flannel waistcoat is invariably connected with aches cramps rheumatisms and every species of ailment that can afflict the old and the feeble {para} Had he been only in a violent fever you would not have despised him half so much Confess Marianne is not there something interesting to you in the flushed cheek hollow eye and quick pulse of a fever {para} Soon after this upon Elinor 's leaving the room Mamma said Marianne I have an alarm on the subject of illness which I cannot conceal from you I am sure Edward Ferrars is not well We have now been here almost a fortnight and yet he does not come Nothing but real indisposition could occasion this extraordinary delay What else can detain him at Norland {para} Had you any idea of his coming so soon said Mrs Dashwood I had none On the contrary if I have felt any anxiety at all on the subject it has been in recollecting that he sometimes showed a want of pleasure and readiness in accepting my invitation when I talked of his coming to Barton Does Elinor expect him already {para} I have never mentioned it to her but of course she must {para} I rather think you are mistaken for when I was talking to her yesterday of getting a new grate for the spare bedchamber she observed that there was no immediate hurry for it as it was not likely that the room would be wanted for some time {para} How strange this is what can be the meaning of it But the whole of their behaviour to each other has been unaccountable How cold how composed were their last adieus How languid their conversation the last evening of their being together In Edward 's farewell there was no distinction between Elinor and me it was the good wishes of an affectionate brother to both Twice did I leave them purposely together in the course of the last morning and each time did he most unaccountably follow me out of the room And Elinor in quitting Norland and Edward cried not as I did Even now her self command is invariable When is she dejected or melancholy When does she try to avoid society or appear restless and dissatisfied in it {para} CHAPTER 9 {para} The Dashwoods were now settled at Barton with tolerable comfort to themselves The house and the garden with all the objects surrounding them were now become familiar and the ordinary pursuits which had given to Norland half its charms were engaged in again with far greater enjoyment than Norland had been able to afford since the loss of their father Sir John Middleton who called on them every day for the first fortnight and who was not in the habit of seeing much occupation at home could not conceal his amazement on finding them always employed {para} Their visitors except those from Barton Park were not many for in spite of Sir John 's urgent entreaties that they would mix more in the neighbourhood and repeated assurances of his carriage being always at their service the independence of Mrs Dashwood 's spirit overcame the wish of society for her children and she was resolute in declining to visit any family beyond the distance of a walk There were but few who could be so classed and it was not all of them that were attainable About a mile and a half from the cottage along the narrow winding valley of Allenham which issued from that of Barton as formerly described the girls had in one of their earliest walks discovered an ancient respectable looking mansion which by reminding them a little of Norland interested their imagination and made them wish to be better acquainted with it But they learnt on enquiry that its possessor an elderly lady of very good character was unfortunately too infirm to mix with the world and never stirred from home {para} The whole country about them abounded in beautiful walks The high downs which invited them from almost every window of the cottage to seek the exquisite enjoyment of air on their summits were a happy alternative when the dirt of the valleys beneath shut up their superior beauties and towards one of these hills did Marianne and Margaret one memorable morning direct their steps attracted by the partial sunshine of a showery sky and unable longer to bear the confinement which the settled rain of the two preceding days had occasioned The weather was not tempting enough to draw the two others from their pencil and their book in spite of Marianne 's declaration that the day would be lastingly fair and that every threatening cloud would be drawn off from their hills and the two girls set off together {para} They gaily ascended the downs rejoicing in their own penetration at every glimpse of blue sky and when they caught in their faces the animating gales of a high south westerly wind they pitied the fears which had prevented their mother and Elinor from sharing such delightful sensations {para} Is there a felicity in the world said Marianne superior to this Margaret we will walk here at least two hours {para} Margaret agreed and they pursued their way against the wind resisting it with laughing delight for about twenty minutes longer when suddenly the clouds united over their heads and a driving rain set full in their face Chagrined and surprised they were obliged though unwillingly to turn back for no shelter was nearer than their own house One consolation however remained for them to which the exigence of the moment gave more than usual propriety it was that of running with all possible speed down the steep side of the hill which led immediately to their garden gate {para} They set off Marianne had at first the advantage but a false step brought her suddenly to the ground and Margaret unable to stop herself to assist her was involuntarily hurried along and reached the bottom in safety {para} A gentleman carrying a gun with two pointers playing round him was passing up the hill and within a few yards of Marianne when her accident happened He put down his gun and ran to her assistance She had raised herself from the ground but her foot had been twisted in her fall and she was scarcely able to stand The gentleman offered his services and perceiving that her modesty declined what her situation rendered necessary took her up in his arms without farther delay and carried her down the hill Then passing through the garden the gate of which had been left open by Margaret he bore her directly into the house whither Margaret was just arrived and quitted not his hold till he had seated her in a chair in the parlour {para} Elinor and her mother rose up in amazement at their entrance and while the eyes of both were fixed on him with an evident wonder and a secret admiration which equally sprung from his appearance he apologized for his intrusion by relating its cause in a manner so frank and so graceful that his person which was uncommonly handsome received additional charms from his voice and expression Had he been even old ugly and vulgar the gratitude and kindness of Mrs Dashwood would have been secured by any act of attention to her child but the influence of youth beauty and elegance gave an interest to the action which came home to her feelings {para} She thanked him again and again and with a sweetness of address which always attended her invited him to be seated But this he declined as he was dirty and wet Mrs Dashwood then begged to know to whom she was obliged His name he replied was Willoughby and his present home was at Allenham from whence he hoped she would allow him the honour of calling tomorrow to enquire after Miss Dashwood The honour was readily granted and he then departed to make himself still more interesting in the midst of an heavy rain {para} His manly beauty and more than common gracefulness were instantly the theme of general admiration and the laugh which his gallantry raised against Marianne received particular spirit from his exterior attractions Marianne herself had seen less of his person that the rest for the confusion which crimsoned over her face on his lifting her up had robbed her of the power of regarding him after their entering the house But she had seen enough of him to join in all the admiration of the others and with an energy which always adorned her praise His person and air were equal to what her fancy had ever drawn for the hero of a favourite story and in his carrying her into the house with so little previous formality there was a rapidity of thought which particularly recommended the action to her Every circumstance belonging to him was interesting His name was good his residence was in their favourite village and she soon found out that of all manly dresses a shooting jacket was the most becoming Her imagination was busy her reflections were pleasant and the pain of a sprained ankle was disregarded {para} Sir John called on them as soon as the next interval of fair weather that morning allowed him to get out of doors and Marianne 's accident being related to him he was eagerly asked whether he knew any gentleman of the name of Willoughby at Allenham {para} Willoughby cried Sir John what is HE in the country That is good news however I will ride over tomorrow and ask him to dinner on Thursday {para} You know him then said Mrs Dashwood {para} Know him to be sure I do Why he is down here every year {para} And what sort of a young man is he {para} As good a kind of fellow as ever lived I assure you A very decent shot and there is not a bolder rider in England {para} And is that all you can say for him cried Marianne indignantly But what are his manners on more intimate acquaintance What his pursuits his talents and genius {para} Sir John was rather puzzled {para} Upon my soul said he I do not know much about him as to all THAT But he is a pleasant good humoured fellow and has got the nicest little black bitch of a pointer I ever saw Was she out with him today {para} But Marianne could no more satisfy him as to the colour of Mr Willoughby 's pointer than he could describe to her the shades of his mind {para} But who is he said Elinor Where does he come from Has he a house at Allenham {para} On this point Sir John could give more certain intelligence and he told them that Mr Willoughby had no property of his own in the country that he resided there only while he was visiting the old lady at Allenham Court to whom he was related and whose possessions he was to inherit adding Yes yes he is very well worth catching I can tell you Miss Dashwood he has a pretty little estate of his own in Somersetshire besides and if I were you I would not give him up to my younger sister in spite of all this tumbling down hills Miss Marianne must not expect to have all the men to herself Brandon will be jealous if she does not take care {para} I do not believe said Mrs Dashwood with a good humoured smile that Mr Willoughby will be incommoded by the attempts of either of MY daughters towards what you call CATCHING him It is not an employment to which they have been brought up Men are very safe with us let them be ever so rich I am glad to find however from what you say that he is a respectable young man and one whose acquaintance will not be ineligible {para} He is as good a sort of fellow I believe as ever lived repeated Sir John I remember last Christmas at a little hop at the park he danced from eight o'clock till four without once sitting down {para} Did he indeed cried Marianne with sparkling eyes and with elegance with spirit {para} Yes and he was up again at eight to ride to covert {para} That is what I like that is what a young man ought to be Whatever be his pursuits his eagerness in them should know no moderation and leave him no sense of fatigue {para} Aye aye I see how it will be said Sir John I see how it will be You will be setting your cap at him now and never think of poor Brandon {para} That is an expression Sir John said Marianne warmly which I particularly dislike I abhor every common place phrase by which wit is intended and setting one 's cap at a man or making a conquest are the most odious of all Their tendency is gross and illiberal and if their construction could ever be deemed clever time has long ago destroyed all its ingenuity {para} Sir John did not much understand this reproof but he laughed as heartily as if he did and then replied {para} Ay you will make conquests enough I dare say one way or other Poor Brandon he is quite smitten already and he is very well worth setting your cap at I can tell you in spite of all this tumbling about and spraining of ankles {para} CHAPTER 10 {para} Marianne 's preserver as Margaret with more elegance than precision styled Willoughby called at the cottage early the next morning to make his personal enquiries He was received by Mrs Dashwood with more than politeness with a kindness which Sir John 's account of him and her own gratitude prompted and every thing that passed during the visit tended to assure him of the sense elegance mutual affection and domestic comfort of the family to whom accident had now introduced him Of their personal charms he had not required a second interview to be convinced {para} Miss Dashwood had a delicate complexion regular features and a remarkably pretty figure Marianne was still handsomer Her form though not so correct as her sister 's in having the advantage of height was more striking and her face was so lovely that when in the common cant of praise she was called a beautiful girl truth was less violently outraged than usually happens Her skin was very brown but from its transparency her complexion was uncommonly brilliant her features were all good her smile was sweet and attractive and in her eyes which were very dark there was a life a spirit an eagerness which could hardily be seen without delight From Willoughby their expression was at first held back by the embarrassment which the remembrance of his assistance created But when this passed away when her spirits became collected when she saw that to the perfect good breeding of the gentleman he united frankness and vivacity and above all when she heard him declare that of music and dancing he was passionately fond she gave him such a look of approbation as secured the largest share of his discourse to herself for the rest of his stay {para} It was only necessary to mention any favourite amusement to engage her to talk She could not be silent when such points were introduced and she had neither shyness nor reserve in their discussion They speedily discovered that their enjoyment of dancing and music was mutual and that it arose from a general conformity of judgment in all that related to either Encouraged by this to a further examination of his opinions she proceeded to question him on the subject of books her favourite authors were brought forward and dwelt upon with so rapturous a delight that any young man of five and twenty must have been insensible indeed not to become an immediate convert to the excellence of such works however disregarded before Their taste was strikingly alike The same books the same passages were idolized by each or if any difference appeared any objection arose it lasted no longer than till the force of her arguments and the brightness of her eyes could be displayed He acquiesced in all her decisions caught all her enthusiasm and long before his visit concluded they conversed with the familiarity of a long established acquaintance {para} Well Marianne said Elinor as soon as he had left them for ONE morning I think you have done pretty well You have already ascertained Mr Willoughby 's opinion in almost every matter of importance You know what he thinks of Cowper and Scott you are certain of his estimating their beauties as he ought and you have received every assurance of his admiring Pope no more than is proper But how is your acquaintance to be long supported under such extraordinary despatch of every subject for discourse You will soon have exhausted each favourite topic Another meeting will suffice to explain his sentiments on picturesque beauty and second marriages and then you can have nothing farther to ask {para} Elinor cried Marianne is this fair is this just are my ideas so scanty But I see what you mean I have been too much at my ease too happy too frank I have erred against every common place notion of decorum I have been open and sincere where I ought to have been reserved spiritless dull and deceitful had I talked only of the weather and the roads and had I spoken only once in ten minutes this reproach would have been spared {para} My love said her mother you must not be offended with Elinor she was only in jest I should scold her myself if she were capable of wishing to check the delight of your conversation with our new friend Marianne was softened in a moment {para} Willoughby on his side gave every proof of his pleasure in their acquaintance which an evident wish of improving it could offer He came to them every day To enquire after Marianne was at first his excuse but the encouragement of his reception to which every day gave greater kindness made such an excuse unnecessary before it had ceased to be possible by Marianne 's perfect recovery She was confined for some days to the house but never had any confinement been less irksome Willoughby was a young man of good abilities quick imagination lively spirits and open affectionate manners He was exactly formed to engage Marianne 's heart for with all this he joined not only a captivating person but a natural ardour of mind which was now roused and increased by the example of her own and which recommended him to her affection beyond every thing else {para} His society became gradually her most exquisite enjoyment They read they talked they sang together his musical talents were considerable and he read with all the sensibility and spirit which Edward had unfortunately wanted {para} In Mrs Dashwood 's estimation he was as faultless as in Marianne 's and Elinor saw nothing to censure in him but a propensity in which he strongly resembled and peculiarly delighted her sister of saying too much what he thought on every occasion without attention to persons or circumstances In hastily forming and giving his opinion of other people in sacrificing general politeness to the enjoyment of undivided attention where his heart was engaged and in slighting too easily the forms of worldly propriety he displayed a want of caution which Elinor could not approve in spite of all that he and Marianne could say in its support {para} Marianne began now to perceive that the desperation which had seized her at sixteen and a half of ever seeing a man who could satisfy her ideas of perfection had been rash and unjustifiable Willoughby was all that her fancy had delineated in that unhappy hour and in every brighter period as capable of attaching her and his behaviour declared his wishes to be in that respect as earnest as his abilities were strong {para} Her mother too in whose mind not one speculative thought of their marriage had been raised by his prospect of riches was led before the end of a week to hope and expect it and secretly to congratulate herself on having gained two such sons in law as Edward and Willoughby {para} Colonel Brandon 's partiality for Marianne which had so early been discovered by his friends now first became perceptible to Elinor when it ceased to be noticed by them Their attention and wit were drawn off to his more fortunate rival and the raillery which the other had incurred before any partiality arose was removed when his feelings began really to call for the ridicule so justly annexed to sensibility Elinor was obliged though unwillingly to believe that the sentiments which Mrs Jennings had assigned him for her own satisfaction were now actually excited by her sister and that however a general resemblance of disposition between the parties might forward the affection of Mr Willoughby an equally striking opposition of character was no hindrance to the regard of Colonel Brandon She saw it with concern for what could a silent man of five and thirty hope when opposed to a very lively one of five and twenty and as she could not even wish him successful she heartily wished him indifferent She liked him in spite of his gravity and reserve she beheld in him an object of interest His manners though serious were mild and his reserve appeared rather the result of some oppression of spirits than of any natural gloominess of temper Sir John had dropped hints of past injuries and disappointments which justified her belief of his being an unfortunate man and she regarded him with respect and compassion {para} Perhaps she pitied and esteemed him the more because he was slighted by Willoughby and Marianne who prejudiced against him for being neither lively nor young seemed resolved to undervalue his merits {para} Brandon is just the kind of man said Willoughby one day when they were talking of him together whom every body speaks well of and nobody cares about whom all are delighted to see and nobody remembers to talk to {para} That is exactly what I think of him cried Marianne {para} Do not boast of it however said Elinor for it is injustice in both of you He is highly esteemed by all the family at the park and I never see him myself without taking pains to converse with him {para} That he is patronised by YOU replied Willoughby is certainly in his favour but as for the esteem of the others it is a reproach in itself Who would submit to the indignity of being approved by such a woman as Lady Middleton and Mrs Jennings that could command the indifference of any body else {para} But perhaps the abuse of such people as yourself and Marianne will make amends for the regard of Lady Middleton and her mother If their praise is censure your censure may be praise for they are not more undiscerning than you are prejudiced and unjust {para} In defence of your protege you can even be saucy {para} My protege as you call him is a sensible man and sense will always have attractions for me Yes Marianne even in a man between thirty and forty He has seen a great deal of the world has been abroad has read and has a thinking mind I have found him capable of giving me much information on various subjects and he has always answered my inquiries with readiness of good breeding and good nature {para} That is to say cried Marianne contemptuously he has told you that in the East Indies the climate is hot and the mosquitoes are troublesome {para} He WOULD have told me so I doubt not had I made any such inquiries but they happened to be points on which I had been previously informed {para} Perhaps said Willoughby his observations may have extended to the existence of nabobs gold mohrs and palanquins {para} I may venture to say that HIS observations have stretched much further than your candour But why should you dislike him {para} I do not dislike him I consider him on the contrary as a very respectable man who has every body 's good word and nobody 's notice who has more money than he can spend more time than he knows how to employ and two new coats every year {para} Add to which cried Marianne that he has neither genius taste nor spirit That his understanding has no brilliancy his feelings no ardour and his voice no expression {para} You decide on his imperfections so much in the mass replied Elinor and so much on the strength of your own imagination that the commendation I am able to give of him is comparatively cold and insipid I can only pronounce him to be a sensible man well bred well informed of gentle address and I believe possessing an amiable heart {para} Miss Dashwood cried Willoughby you are now using me unkindly You are endeavouring to disarm me by reason and to convince me against my will But it will not do You shall find me as stubborn as you can be artful I have three unanswerable reasons for disliking Colonel Brandon he threatened me with rain when I wanted it to be fine he has found fault with the hanging of my curricle and I cannot persuade him to buy my brown mare If it will be any satisfaction to you however to be told that I believe his character to be in other respects irreproachable I am ready to confess it And in return for an acknowledgment which must give me some pain you cannot deny me the privilege of disliking him as much as ever {para} CHAPTER 11 {para} Little had Mrs Dashwood or her daughters imagined when they first came into Devonshire that so many engagements would arise to occupy their time as shortly presented themselves or that they should have such frequent invitations and such constant visitors as to leave them little leisure for serious employment Yet such was the case When Marianne was recovered the schemes of amusement at home and abroad which Sir John had been previously forming were put into execution The private balls at the park then began and parties on the water were made and accomplished as often as a showery October would allow In every meeting of the kind Willoughby was included and the ease and familiarity which naturally attended these parties were exactly calculated to give increasing intimacy to his acquaintance with the Dashwoods to afford him opportunity of witnessing the excellencies of Marianne of marking his animated admiration of her and of receiving in her behaviour to himself the most pointed assurance of her affection {para} Elinor could not be surprised at their attachment She only wished that it were less openly shewn and once or twice did venture to suggest the propriety of some self command to Marianne But Marianne abhorred all concealment where no real disgrace could attend unreserve and to aim at the restraint of sentiments which were not in themselves illaudable appeared to her not merely an unnecessary effort but a disgraceful subjection of reason to common place and mistaken notions Willoughby thought the same and their behaviour at all times was an illustration of their opinions {para} When he was present she had no eyes for any one else Every thing he did was right Every thing he said was clever If their evenings at the park were concluded with cards he cheated himself and all the rest of the party to get her a good hand If dancing formed the amusement of the night they were partners for half the time and when obliged to separate for a couple of dances were careful to stand together and scarcely spoke a word to any body else Such conduct made them of course most exceedingly laughed at but ridicule could not shame and seemed hardly to provoke them {para} Mrs Dashwood entered into all their feelings with a warmth which left her no inclination for checking this excessive display of them To her it was but the natural consequence of a strong affection in a young and ardent mind {para} This was the season of happiness to Marianne Her heart was devoted to Willoughby and the fond attachment to Norland which she brought with her from Sussex was more likely to be softened than she had thought it possible before by the charms which his society bestowed on her present home {para} Elinor 's happiness was not so great Her heart was not so much at ease nor her satisfaction in their amusements so pure They afforded her no companion that could make amends for what she had left behind nor that could teach her to think of Norland with less regret than ever Neither Lady Middleton nor Mrs Jennings could supply to her the conversation she missed although the latter was an everlasting talker and from the first had regarded her with a kindness which ensured her a large share of her discourse She had already repeated her own history to Elinor three or four times and had Elinor 's memory been equal to her means of improvement she might have known very early in their acquaintance all the particulars of Mr Jenning 's last illness and what he said to his wife a few minutes before he died Lady Middleton was more agreeable than her mother only in being more silent Elinor needed little observation to perceive that her reserve was a mere calmness of manner with which sense had nothing to do Towards her husband and mother she was the same as to them and intimacy was therefore neither to be looked for nor desired She had nothing to say one day that she had not said the day before Her insipidity was invariable for even her spirits were always the same and though she did not oppose the parties arranged by her husband provided every thing were conducted in style and her two eldest children attended her she never appeared to receive more enjoyment from them than she might have experienced in sitting at home and so little did her presence add to the pleasure of the others by any share in their conversation that they were sometimes only reminded of her being amongst them by her solicitude about her troublesome boys {para} In Colonel Brandon alone of all her new acquaintance did Elinor find a person who could in any degree claim the respect of abilities excite the interest of friendship or give pleasure as a companion Willoughby was out of the question Her admiration and regard even her sisterly regard was all his own but he was a lover his attentions were wholly Marianne 's and a far less agreeable man might have been more generally pleasing Colonel Brandon unfortunately for himself had no such encouragement to think only of Marianne and in conversing with Elinor he found the greatest consolation for the indifference of her sister {para} Elinor 's compassion for him increased as she had reason to suspect that the misery of disappointed love had already been known to him This suspicion was given by some words which accidently dropped from him one evening at the park when they were sitting down together by mutual consent while the others were dancing His eyes were fixed on Marianne and after a silence of some minutes he said with a faint smile Your sister I understand does not approve of second attachments {para} No replied Elinor her opinions are all romantic {para} Or rather as I believe she considers them impossible to exist {para} I believe she does But how she contrives it without reflecting on the character of her own father who had himself two wives I know not A few years however will settle her opinions on the reasonable basis of common sense and observation and then they may be more easy to define and to justify than they now are by any body but herself {para} This will probably be the case he replied and yet there is something so amiable in the prejudices of a young mind that one is sorry to see them give way to the reception of more general opinions {para} I cannot agree with you there said Elinor There are inconveniences attending such feelings as Marianne 's which all the charms of enthusiasm and ignorance of the world cannot atone for Her systems have all the unfortunate tendency of setting propriety at nought and a better acquaintance with the world is what I look forward to as her greatest possible advantage {para} After a short pause he resumed the conversation by saying {para} Does your sister make no distinction in her objections against a second attachment or is it equally criminal in every body Are those who have been disappointed in their first choice whether from the inconstancy of its object or the perverseness of circumstances to be equally indifferent during the rest of their lives {para} Upon my word I am not acquainted with the minutiae of her principles I only know that I never yet heard her admit any instance of a second attachment 's being pardonable {para} This said he cannot hold but a change a total change of sentiments No no do not desire it for when the romantic refinements of a young mind are obliged to give way how frequently are they succeeded by such opinions as are but too common and too dangerous I speak from experience I once knew a lady who in temper and mind greatly resembled your sister who thought and judged like her but who from an inforced change from a series of unfortunate circumstances Here he stopt suddenly appeared to think that he had said too much and by his countenance gave rise to conjectures which might not otherwise have entered Elinor 's head The lady would probably have passed without suspicion had he not convinced Miss Dashwood that what concerned her ought not to escape his lips As it was it required but a slight effort of fancy to connect his emotion with the tender recollection of past regard Elinor attempted no more But Marianne in her place would not have done so little The whole story would have been speedily formed under her active imagination and every thing established in the most melancholy order of disastrous love {para} CHAPTER 12 {para} As Elinor and Marianne were walking together the next morning the latter communicated a piece of news to her sister which in spite of all that she knew before of Marianne 's imprudence and want of thought surprised her by its extravagant testimony of both Marianne told her with the greatest delight that Willoughby had given her a horse one that he had bred himself on his estate in Somersetshire and which was exactly calculated to carry a woman Without considering that it was not in her mother 's plan to keep any horse that if she were to alter her resolution in favour of this gift she must buy another for the servant and keep a servant to ride it and after all build a stable to receive them she had accepted the present without hesitation and told her sister of it in raptures {para} He intends to send his groom into Somersetshire immediately for it she added and when it arrives we will ride every day You shall share its use with me Imagine to yourself my dear Elinor the delight of a gallop on some of these downs {para} Most unwilling was she to awaken from such a dream of felicity to comprehend all the unhappy truths which attended the affair and for some time she refused to submit to them As to an additional servant the expense would be a trifle Mamma she was sure would never object to it and any horse would do for HIM he might always get one at the park as to a stable the merest shed would be sufficient Elinor then ventured to doubt the propriety of her receiving such a present from a man so little or at least so lately known to her This was too much {para} You are mistaken Elinor said she warmly in supposing I know very little of Willoughby I have not known him long indeed but I am much better acquainted with him than I am with any other creature in the world except yourself and mama It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy it is disposition alone Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other and seven days are more than enough for others I should hold myself guilty of greater impropriety in accepting a horse from my brother than from Willoughby Of John I know very little though we have lived together for years but of Willoughby my judgment has long been formed {para} Elinor thought it wisest to touch that point no more She knew her sister 's temper Opposition on so tender a subject would only attach her the more to her own opinion But by an appeal to her affection for her mother by representing the inconveniences which that indulgent mother must draw on herself if as would probably be the case she consented to this increase of establishment Marianne was shortly subdued and she promised not to tempt her mother to such imprudent kindness by mentioning the offer and to tell Willoughby when she saw him next that it must be declined {para} She was faithful to her word and when Willoughby called at the cottage the same day Elinor heard her express her disappointment to him in a low voice on being obliged to forego the acceptance of his present The reasons for this alteration were at the same time related and they were such as to make further entreaty on his side impossible His concern however was very apparent and after expressing it with earnestness he added in the same low voice But Marianne the horse is still yours though you cannot use it now I shall keep it only till you can claim it When you leave Barton to form your own establishment in a more lasting home Queen Mab shall receive you {para} This was all overheard by Miss Dashwood and in the whole of the sentence in his manner of pronouncing it and in his addressing her sister by her christian name alone she instantly saw an intimacy so decided a meaning so direct as marked a perfect agreement between them From that moment she doubted not of their being engaged to each other and the belief of it created no other surprise than that she or any of their friends should be left by tempers so frank to discover it by accident {para} Margaret related something to her the next day which placed this matter in a still clearer light Willoughby had spent the preceding evening with them and Margaret by being left some time in the parlour with only him and Marianne had had opportunity for observations which with a most important face she communicated to her eldest sister when they were next by themselves {para} Oh Elinor she cried I have such a secret to tell you about Marianne I am sure she will be married to Mr Willoughby very soon {para} You have said so replied Elinor almost every day since they first met on High church Down and they had not known each other a week I believe before you were certain that Marianne wore his picture round her neck but it turned out to be only the miniature of our great uncle {para} But indeed this is quite another thing I am sure they will be married very soon for he has got a lock of her hair {para} Take care Margaret It may be only the hair of some great uncle of HIS {para} But indeed Elinor it is Marianne 's I am almost sure it is for I saw him cut it off Last night after tea when you and mama went out of the room they were whispering and talking together as fast as could be and he seemed to be begging something of her and presently he took up her scissors and cut off a long lock of her hair for it was all tumbled down her back and he kissed it and folded it up in a piece of white paper and put it into his pocket book {para} For such particulars stated on such authority Elinor could not withhold her credit nor was she disposed to it for the circumstance was in perfect unison with what she had heard and seen herself {para} Margaret 's sagacity was not always displayed in a way so satisfactory to her sister When Mrs Jennings attacked her one evening at the park to give the name of the young man who was Elinor 's particular favourite which had been long a matter of great curiosity to her Margaret answered by looking at her sister and saying I must not tell may I Elinor {para} This of course made every body laugh and Elinor tried to laugh too But the effort was painful She was convinced that Margaret had fixed on a person whose name she could not bear with composure to become a standing joke with Mrs Jennings {para} Marianne felt for her most sincerely but she did more harm than good to the cause by turning very red and saying in an angry manner to Margaret {para} Remember that whatever your conjectures may be you have no right to repeat them {para} I never had any conjectures about it replied Margaret it was you who told me of it yourself {para} This increased the mirth of the company and Margaret was eagerly pressed to say something more {para} Oh pray Miss Margaret let us know all about it said Mrs Jennings What is the gentleman 's name {para} I must not tell ma'am But I know very well what it is and I know where he is too {para} Yes yes we can guess where he is at his own house at Norland to be sure He is the curate of the parish I dare say {para} No THAT he is not He is of no profession at all {para} Margaret said Marianne with great warmth you know that all this is an invention of your own and that there is no such person in existence {para} Well then he is lately dead Marianne for I am sure there was such a man once and his name begins with an F {para} Most grateful did Elinor feel to Lady Middleton for observing at this moment that it rained very hard though she believed the interruption to proceed less from any attention to her than from her ladyship 's great dislike of all such inelegant subjects of raillery as delighted her husband and mother The idea however started by her was immediately pursued by Colonel Brandon who was on every occasion mindful of the feelings of others and much was said on the subject of rain by both of them Willoughby opened the piano forte and asked Marianne to sit down to it and thus amidst the various endeavours of different people to quit the topic it fell to the ground But not so easily did Elinor recover from the alarm into which it had thrown her {para} A party was formed this evening for going on the following day to see a very fine place about twelve miles from Barton belonging to a brother in law of Colonel Brandon without whose interest it could not be seen as the proprietor who was then abroad had left strict orders on that head The grounds were declared to be highly beautiful and Sir John who was particularly warm in their praise might be allowed to be a tolerable judge for he had formed parties to visit them at least twice every summer for the last ten years They contained a noble piece of water a sail on which was to a form a great part of the morning 's amusement cold provisions were to be taken open carriages only to be employed and every thing conducted in the usual style of a complete party of pleasure {para} To some few of the company it appeared rather a bold undertaking considering the time of year and that it had rained every day for the last fortnight and Mrs Dashwood who had already a cold was persuaded by Elinor to stay at home {para} CHAPTER 13 {para} Their intended excursion to Whitwell turned out very different from what Elinor had expected She was prepared to be wet through fatigued and frightened but the event was still more unfortunate for they did not go at all {para} By ten o'clock the whole party was assembled at the park where they were to breakfast The morning was rather favourable though it had rained all night as the clouds were then dispersing across the sky and the sun frequently appeared They were all in high spirits and good humour eager to be happy and determined to submit to the greatest inconveniences and hardships rather than be otherwise {para} While they were at breakfast the letters were brought in Among the rest there was one for Colonel Brandon he took it looked at the direction changed colour and immediately left the room {para} What is the matter with Brandon said Sir John {para} Nobody could tell {para} I hope he has had no bad news said Lady Middleton It must be something extraordinary that could make Colonel Brandon leave my breakfast table so suddenly {para} In about five minutes he returned {para} No bad news Colonel I hope said Mrs Jennings as soon as he entered the room {para} None at all ma'am I thank you {para} Was it from Avignon I hope it is not to say that your sister is worse {para} No ma'am It came from town and is merely a letter of business {para} But how came the hand to discompose you so much if it was only a letter of business Come come this won't do Colonel so let us hear the truth of it {para} My dear madam said Lady Middleton recollect what you are saying {para} Perhaps it is to tell you that your cousin Fanny is married said Mrs Jennings without attending to her daughter 's reproof {para} No indeed it is not {para} Well then I know who it is from Colonel And I hope she is well {para} Whom do you mean ma'am said he colouring a little {para} Oh you know who I mean {para} I am particularly sorry ma'am said he addressing Lady Middleton that I should receive this letter today for it is on business which requires my immediate attendance in town {para} In town cried Mrs Jennings What can you have to do in town at this time of year {para} My own loss is great be continued in being obliged to leave so agreeable a party but I am the more concerned as I fear my presence is necessary to gain your admittance at Whitwell {para} What a blow upon them all was this {para} But if you write a note to the housekeeper Mr Brandon said Marianne eagerly will it not be sufficient {para} He shook his head {para} We must go said Sir John It shall not be put off when we are so near it You cannot go to town till tomorrow Brandon that is all {para} I wish it could be so easily settled But it is not in my power to delay my journey for one day {para} If you would but let us know what your business is said Mrs Jennings we might see whether it could be put off or not {para} You would not be six hours later said Willoughby if you were to defer your journey till our return {para} I cannot afford to lose ONE hour {para} Elinor then heard Willoughby say in a low voice to Marianne There are some people who cannot bear a party of pleasure Brandon is one of them He was afraid of catching cold I dare say and invented this trick for getting out of it I would lay fifty guineas the letter was of his own writing {para} I have no doubt of it replied Marianne {para} There is no persuading you to change your mind Brandon I know of old said Sir John when once you are determined on anything But however I hope you will think better of it Consider here are the two Miss Careys come over from Newton the three Miss Dashwoods walked up from the cottage and Mr Willoughby got up two hours before his usual time on purpose to go to Whitwell {para} Colonel Brandon again repeated his sorrow at being the cause of disappointing the party but at the same time declared it to be unavoidable {para} Well then when will you come back again {para} I hope we shall see you at Barton added her ladyship as soon as you can conveniently leave town and we must put off the party to Whitwell till you return {para} You are very obliging But it is so uncertain when I may have it in my power to return that I dare not engage for it at all {para} Oh he must and shall come back cried Sir John If he is not here by the end of the week I shall go after him {para} Ay so do Sir John cried Mrs Jennings and then perhaps you may find out what his business is {para} I do not want to pry into other men 's concerns I suppose it is something he is ashamed of {para} Colonel Brandon 's horses were announced {para} You do not go to town on horseback do you added Sir John {para} No Only to Honiton I shall then go post {para} Well as you are resolved to go I wish you a good journey But you had better change your mind {para} I assure you it is not in my power {para} He then took leave of the whole party {para} Is there no chance of my seeing you and your sisters in town this winter Miss Dashwood {para} I am afraid none at all {para} Then I must bid you farewell for a longer time than I should wish to do {para} To Marianne he merely bowed and said nothing {para} Come Colonel said Mrs Jennings before you go do let us know what you are going about {para} He wished her a good morning and attended by Sir John left the room {para} The complaints and lamentations which politeness had hitherto restrained now burst forth universally and they all agreed again and again how provoking it was to be so disappointed {para} I can guess what his business is however said Mrs Jennings exultingly {para} Can you ma'am said almost every body {para} Yes it is about Miss Williams I am sure {para} And who is Miss Williams asked Marianne {para} What do not you know who Miss Williams is I am sure you must have heard of her before She is a relation of the Colonel 's my dear a very near relation We will not say how near for fear of shocking the young ladies Then lowering her voice a little she said to Elinor She is his natural daughter {para} Indeed {para} Oh yes and as like him as she can stare I dare say the Colonel will leave her all his fortune {para} When Sir John returned he joined most heartily in the general regret on so unfortunate an event concluding however by observing that as they were all got together they must do something by way of being happy and after some consultation it was agreed that although happiness could only be enjoyed at Whitwell they might procure a tolerable composure of mind by driving about the country The carriages were then ordered Willoughby 's was first and Marianne never looked happier than when she got into it He drove through the park very fast and they were soon out of sight and nothing more of them was seen till their return which did not happen till after the return of all the rest They both seemed delighted with their drive but said only in general terms that they had kept in the lanes while the others went on the downs {para} It was settled that there should be a dance in the evening and that every body should be extremely merry all day long Some more of the Careys came to dinner and they had the pleasure of sitting down nearly twenty to table which Sir John observed with great contentment Willoughby took his usual place between the two elder Miss Dashwoods Mrs Jennings sat on Elinor 's right hand and they had not been long seated before she leant behind her and Willoughby and said to Marianne loud enough for them both to hear I have found you out in spite of all your tricks I know where you spent the morning {para} Marianne coloured and replied very hastily Where pray {para} Did not you know said Willoughby that we had been out in my curricle {para} Yes yes Mr Impudence I know that very well and I was determined to find out WHERE you had been to I hope you like your house Miss Marianne It is a very large one I know and when I come to see you I hope you will have new furnished it for it wanted it very much when I was there six years ago {para} Marianne turned away in great confusion Mrs Jennings laughed heartily and Elinor found that in her resolution to know where they had been she had actually made her own woman enquire of Mr Willoughby 's groom and that she had by that method been informed that they had gone to Allenham and spent a considerable time there in walking about the garden and going all over the house {para} Elinor could hardly believe this to be true as it seemed very unlikely that Willoughby should propose or Marianne consent to enter the house while Mrs Smith was in it with whom Marianne had not the smallest acquaintance {para} As soon as they left the dining room Elinor enquired of her about it and great was her surprise when she found that every circumstance related by Mrs Jennings was perfectly true Marianne was quite angry with her for doubting it {para} Why should you imagine Elinor that we did not go there or that we did not see the house Is not it what you have often wished to do yourself {para} Yes Marianne but I would not go while Mrs Smith was there and with no other companion than Mr Willoughby {para} Mr Willoughby however is the only person who can have a right to shew that house and as he went in an open carriage it was impossible to have any other companion I never spent a pleasanter morning in my life {para} I am afraid replied Elinor that the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety {para} On the contrary nothing can be a stronger proof of it Elinor for if there had been any real impropriety in what I did I should have been sensible of it at the time for we always know when we are acting wrong and with such a conviction I could have had no pleasure {para} But my dear Marianne as it has already exposed you to some very impertinent remarks do you not now begin to doubt the discretion of your own conduct {para} If the impertinent remarks of Mrs Jennings are to be the proof of impropriety in conduct we are all offending every moment of our lives I value not her censure any more than I should do her commendation I am not sensible of having done anything wrong in walking over Mrs Smith 's grounds or in seeing her house They will one day be Mr Willoughby 's and {para} If they were one day to be your own Marianne you would not be justified in what you have done {para} She blushed at this hint but it was even visibly gratifying to her and after a ten minutes interval of earnest thought she came to her sister again and said with great good humour Perhaps Elinor it WAS rather ill judged in me to go to Allenham but Mr Willoughby wanted particularly to shew me the place and it is a charming house I assure you There is one remarkably pretty sitting room up stairs of a nice comfortable size for constant use and with modern furniture it would be delightful It is a corner room and has windows on two sides On one side you look across the bowling green behind the house to a beautiful hanging wood and on the other you have a view of the church and village and beyond them of those fine bold hills that we have so often admired I did not see it to advantage for nothing could be more forlorn than the furniture but if it were newly fitted up a couple of hundred pounds Willoughby says would make it one of the pleasantest summer rooms in England {para} Could Elinor have listened to her without interruption from the others she would have described every room in the house with equal delight {para} CHAPTER 14 {para} The sudden termination of Colonel Brandon 's visit at the park with his steadiness in concealing its cause filled the mind and raised the wonder of Mrs Jennings for two or three days she was a great wonderer as every one must be who takes a very lively interest in all the comings and goings of all their acquaintance She wondered with little intermission what could be the reason of it was sure there must be some bad news and thought over every kind of distress that could have befallen him with a fixed determination that he should not escape them all {para} Something very melancholy must be the matter I am sure said she I could see it in his face Poor man I am afraid his circumstances may be bad The estate at Delaford was never reckoned more than two thousand a year and his brother left everything sadly involved I do think he must have been sent for about money matters for what else can it be I wonder whether it is so I would give anything to know the truth of it Perhaps it is about Miss Williams and by the bye I dare say it is because he looked so conscious when I mentioned her May be she is ill in town nothing in the world more likely for I have a notion she is always rather sickly I would lay any wager it is about Miss Williams It is not so very likely he should be distressed in his circumstances NOW for he is a very prudent man and to be sure must have cleared the estate by this time I wonder what it can be May be his sister is worse at Avignon and has sent for him over His setting off in such a hurry seems very like it Well I wish him out of all his trouble with all my heart and a good wife into the bargain {para} So wondered so talked Mrs Jennings Her opinion varying with every fresh conjecture and all seeming equally probable as they arose Elinor though she felt really interested in the welfare of Colonel Brandon could not bestow all the wonder on his going so suddenly away which Mrs Jennings was desirous of her feeling for besides that the circumstance did not in her opinion justify such lasting amazement or variety of speculation her wonder was otherwise disposed of It was engossed by the extraordinary silence of her sister and Willoughby on the subject which they must know to be peculiarly interesting to them all As this silence continued every day made it appear more strange and more incompatible with the disposition of both Why they should not openly acknowledge to her mother and herself what their constant behaviour to each other declared to have taken place Elinor could not imagine {para} She could easily conceive that marriage might not be immediately in their power for though Willoughby was independent there was no reason to believe him rich His estate had been rated by Sir John at about six or seven hundred a year but he lived at an expense to which that income could hardly be equal and he had himself often complained of his poverty But for this strange kind of secrecy maintained by them relative to their engagement which in fact concealed nothing at all she could not account and it was so wholly contradictory to their general opinions and practice that a doubt sometimes entered her mind of their being really engaged and this doubt was enough to prevent her making any inquiry of Marianne {para} Nothing could be more expressive of attachment to them all than Willoughby 's behaviour To Marianne it had all the distinguishing tenderness which a lover 's heart could give and to the rest of the family it was the affectionate attention of a son and a brother The cottage seemed to be considered and loved by him as his home many more of his hours were spent there than at Allenham and if no general engagement collected them at the park the exercise which called him out in the morning was almost certain of ending there where the rest of the day was spent by himself at the side of Marianne and by his favourite pointer at her feet {para} One evening in particular about a week after Colonel Brandon left the country his heart seemed more than usually open to every feeling of attachment to the objects around him and on Mrs Dashwood 's happening to mention her design of improving the cottage in the spring he warmly opposed every alteration of a place which affection had established as perfect with him {para} What he exclaimed Improve this dear cottage No THAT I will never consent to Not a stone must be added to its walls not an inch to its size if my feelings are regarded {para} Do not be alarmed said Miss Dashwood nothing of the kind will be done for my mother will never have money enough to attempt it {para} I am heartily glad of it he cried May she always be poor if she can employ her riches no better {para} Thank you Willoughby But you may be assured that I would not sacrifice one sentiment of local attachment of yours or of any one whom I loved for all the improvements in the world Depend upon it that whatever unemployed sum may remain when I make up my accounts in the spring I would even rather lay it uselessly by than dispose of it in a manner so painful to you But are you really so attached to this place as to see no defect in it {para} I am said he To me it is faultless Nay more I consider it as the only form of building in which happiness is attainable and were I rich enough I would instantly pull Combe down and build it up again in the exact plan of this cottage {para} With dark narrow stairs and a kitchen that smokes I suppose said Elinor {para} Yes cried he in the same eager tone with all and every thing belonging to it in no one convenience or INconvenience about it should the least variation be perceptible Then and then only under such a roof I might perhaps be as happy at Combe as I have been at Barton {para} I flatter myself replied Elinor that even under the disadvantage of better rooms and a broader staircase you will hereafter find your own house as faultless as you now do this {para} There certainly are circumstances said Willoughby which might greatly endear it to me but this place will always have one claim of my affection which no other can possibly share {para} Mrs Dashwood looked with pleasure at Marianne whose fine eyes were fixed so expressively on Willoughby as plainly denoted how well she understood him {para} How often did I wish added he when I was at Allenham this time twelvemonth that Barton cottage were inhabited I never passed within view of it without admiring its situation and grieving that no one should live in it How little did I then think that the very first news I should hear from Mrs Smith when I next came into the country would be that Barton cottage was taken and I felt an immediate satisfaction and interest in the event which nothing but a kind of prescience of what happiness I should experience from it can account for Must it not have been so Marianne speaking to her in a lowered voice Then continuing his former tone he said And yet this house you would spoil Mrs Dashwood You would rob it of its simplicity by imaginary improvement and this dear parlour in which our acquaintance first began and in which so many happy hours have been since spent by us together you would degrade to the condition of a common entrance and every body would be eager to pass through the room which has hitherto contained within itself more real accommodation and comfort than any other apartment of the handsomest dimensions in the world could possibly afford {para} Mrs Dashwood again assured him that no alteration of the kind should be attempted {para} You are a good woman he warmly replied Your promise makes me easy Extend it a little farther and it will make me happy Tell me that not only your house will remain the same but that I shall ever find you and yours as unchanged as your dwelling and that you will always consider me with the kindness which has made everything belonging to you so dear to me {para} The promise was readily given and Willoughby 's behaviour during the whole of the evening declared at once his affection and happiness {para} Shall we see you tomorrow to dinner said Mrs Dashwood when he was leaving them I do not ask you to come in the morning for we must walk to the park to call on Lady Middleton {para} He engaged to be with them by four o'clock {para} CHAPTER 15 {para} Mrs Dashwood 's visit to Lady Middleton took place the next day and two of her daughters went with her but Marianne excused herself from being of the party under some trifling pretext of employment and her mother who concluded that a promise had been made by Willoughby the night before of calling on her while they were absent was perfectly satisfied with her remaining at home {para} On their return from the park they found Willoughby 's curricle and servant in waiting at the cottage and Mrs Dashwood was convinced that her conjecture had been just So far it was all as she had foreseen but on entering the house she beheld what no foresight had taught her to expect They were no sooner in the passage than Marianne came hastily out of the parlour apparently in violent affliction with her handkerchief at her eyes and without noticing them ran up stairs Surprised and alarmed they proceeded directly into the room she had just quitted where they found only Willoughby who was leaning against the mantel piece with his back towards them He turned round on their coming in and his countenance shewed that he strongly partook of the emotion which over powered Marianne {para} Is anything the matter with her cried Mrs Dashwood as she entered is she ill {para} I hope not he replied trying to look cheerful and with a forced smile presently added It is I who may rather expect to be ill for I am now suffering under a very heavy disappointment {para} Disappointment {para} Yes for I am unable to keep my engagement with you Mrs Smith has this morning exercised the privilege of riches upon a poor dependent cousin by sending me on business to London I have just received my dispatches and taken my farewell of Allenham and by way of exhilaration I am now come to take my farewell of you {para} To London and are you going this morning {para} Almost this moment {para} This is very unfortunate But Mrs Smith must be obliged and her business will not detain you from us long I hope {para} He coloured as he replied You are very kind but I have no idea of returning into Devonshire immediately My visits to Mrs Smith are never repeated within the twelvemonth {para} And is Mrs Smith your only friend Is Allenham the only house in the neighbourhood to which you will be welcome For shame Willoughby can you wait for an invitation here {para} His colour increased and with his eyes fixed on the ground he only replied You are too good {para} Mrs Dashwood looked at Elinor with surprise Elinor felt equal amazement For a few moments every one was silent Mrs Dashwood first spoke {para} I have only to add my dear Willoughby that at Barton cottage you will always be welcome for I will not press you to return here immediately because you only can judge how far THAT might be pleasing to Mrs Smith and on this head I shall be no more disposed to question your judgment than to doubt your inclination {para} My engagements at present replied Willoughby confusedly are of such a nature that I dare not flatter myself {para} He stopt Mrs Dashwood was too much astonished to speak and another pause succeeded This was broken by Willoughby who said with a faint smile It is folly to linger in this manner I will not torment myself any longer by remaining among friends whose society it is impossible for me now to enjoy {para} He then hastily took leave of them all and left the room They saw him step into his carriage and in a minute it was out of sight {para} Mrs Dashwood felt too much for speech and instantly quitted the parlour to give way in solitude to the concern and alarm which this sudden departure occasioned {para} Elinor 's uneasiness was at least equal to her mother 's She thought of what had just passed with anxiety and distrust Willoughby 's behaviour in taking leave of them his embarrassment and affectation of cheerfulness and above all his unwillingness to accept her mother 's invitation a backwardness so unlike a lover so unlike himself greatly disturbed her One moment she feared that no serious design had ever been formed on his side and the next that some unfortunate quarrel had taken place between him and her sister the distress in which Marianne had quitted the room was such as a serious quarrel could most reasonably account for though when she considered what Marianne 's love for him was a quarrel seemed almost impossible {para} But whatever might be the particulars of their separation her sister 's affliction was indubitable and she thought with the tenderest compassion of that violent sorrow which Marianne was in all probability not merely giving way to as a relief but feeding and encouraging as a duty {para} In about half an hour her mother returned and though her eyes were red her countenance was not uncheerful {para} Our dear Willoughby is now some miles from Barton Elinor said she as she sat down to work and with how heavy a heart does he travel {para} It is all very strange So suddenly to be gone It seems but the work of a moment And last night he was with us so happy so cheerful so affectionate And now after only ten minutes notice Gone too without intending to return Something more than what be owned to us must have happened He did not speak he did not behave like himself YOU must have seen the difference as well as I What can it be Can they have quarrelled Why else should he have shewn such unwillingness to accept your invitation here {para} It was not inclination that he wanted Elinor I could plainly see THAT He had not the power of accepting it I have thought it all over I assure you and I can perfectly account for every thing that at first seemed strange to me as well as to you {para} Can you indeed {para} Yes I have explained it to myself in the most satisfactory way but you Elinor who love to doubt where you can it will not satisfy YOU I know but you shall not talk ME out of my trust in it I am persuaded that Mrs Smith suspects his regard for Marianne disapproves of it perhaps because she has other views for him and on that account is eager to get him away and that the business which she sends him off to transact is invented as an excuse to dismiss him This is what I believe to have happened He is moreover aware that she DOES disapprove the connection he dares not therefore at present confess to her his engagement with Marianne and he feels himself obliged from his dependent situation to give into her schemes and absent himself from Devonshire for a while You will tell me I know that this may or may NOT have happened but I will listen to no cavil unless you can point out any other method of understanding the affair as satisfactory at this And now Elinor what have you to say {para} Nothing for you have anticipated my answer {para} Then you would have told me that it might or might not have happened Oh Elinor how incomprehensible are your feelings You had rather take evil upon credit than good You had rather look out for misery for Marianne and guilt for poor Willoughby than an apology for the latter You are resolved to think him blameable because he took leave of us with less affection than his usual behaviour has shewn And is no allowance to be made for inadvertence or for spirits depressed by recent disappointment Are no probabilities to be accepted merely because they are not certainties Is nothing due to the man whom we have all such reason to love and no reason in the world to think ill of To the possibility of motives unanswerable in themselves though unavoidably secret for a while And after all what is it you suspect him of {para} I can hardly tell myself But suspicion of something unpleasant is the inevitable consequence of such an alteration as we just witnessed in him There is great truth however in what you have now urged of the allowances which ought to be made for him and it is my wish to be candid in my judgment of every body Willoughby may undoubtedly have very sufficient reasons for his conduct and I will hope that he has But it would have been more like Willoughby to acknowledge them at once Secrecy may be advisable but still I cannot help wondering at its being practiced by him {para} Do not blame him however for departing from his character where the deviation is necessary But you really do admit the justice of what I have said in his defence I am happy and he is acquitted {para} Not entirely It may be proper to conceal their engagement if they ARE engaged from Mrs Smith and if that is the case it must be highly expedient for Willoughby to be but little in Devonshire at present But this is no excuse for their concealing it from us {para} Concealing it from us my dear child do you accuse Willoughby and Marianne of concealment This is strange indeed when your eyes have been reproaching them every day for incautiousness {para} I want no proof of their affection said Elinor but of their engagement I do {para} I am perfectly satisfied of both {para} Yet not a syllable has been said to you on the subject by either of them {para} I have not wanted syllables where actions have spoken so plainly Has not his behaviour to Marianne and to all of us for at least the last fortnight declared that he loved and considered her as his future wife and that he felt for us the attachment of the nearest relation Have we not perfectly understood each other Has not my consent been daily asked by his looks his manner his attentive and affectionate respect My Elinor is it possible to doubt their engagement How could such a thought occur to you How is it to be supposed that Willoughby persuaded as he must be of your sister 's love should leave her and leave her perhaps for months without telling her of his affection that they should part without a mutual exchange of confidence {para} I confess replied Elinor that every circumstance except ONE is in favour of their engagement but that ONE is the total silence of both on the subject and with me it almost outweighs every other {para} How strange this is You must think wretchedly indeed of Willoughby if after all that has openly passed between them you can doubt the nature of the terms on which they are together Has he been acting a part in his behaviour to your sister all this time Do you suppose him really indifferent to her {para} No I cannot think that He must and does love her I am sure {para} But with a strange kind of tenderness if he can leave her with such indifference such carelessness of the future as you attribute to him {para} You must remember my dear mother that I have never considered this matter as certain I have had my doubts I confess but they are fainter than they were and they may soon be entirely done away If we find they correspond every fear of mine will be removed {para} A mighty concession indeed If you were to see them at the altar you would suppose they were going to be married Ungracious girl But I require no such proof Nothing in my opinion has ever passed to justify doubt no secrecy has been attempted all has been uniformly open and unreserved You cannot doubt your sister 's wishes It must be Willoughby therefore whom you suspect But why Is he not a man of honour and feeling Has there been any inconsistency on his side to create alarm can he be deceitful {para} I hope not I believe not cried Elinor I love Willoughby sincerely love him and suspicion of his integrity cannot be more painful to yourself than to me It has been involuntary and I will not encourage it I was startled I confess by the alteration in his manners this morning he did not speak like himself and did not return your kindness with any cordiality But all this may be explained by such a situation of his affairs as you have supposed He had just parted from my sister had seen her leave him in the greatest affliction and if he felt obliged from a fear of offending Mrs Smith to resist the temptation of returning here soon and yet aware that by declining your invitation by saying that he was going away for some time he should seem to act an ungenerous a suspicious part by our family be might well be embarrassed and disturbed In such a case a plain and open avowal of his difficulties would have been more to his honour I think as well as more consistent with his general character but I will not raise objections against any one 's conduct on so illiberal a foundation as a difference in judgment from myself or a deviation from what I may think right and consistent {para} You speak very properly Willoughby certainly does not deserve to be suspected Though WE have not known him long he is no stranger in this part of the world and who has ever spoken to his disadvantage Had he been in a situation to act independently and marry immediately it might have been odd that he should leave us without acknowledging everything to me at once but this is not the case It is an engagement in some respects not prosperously begun for their marriage must be at a very uncertain distance and even secrecy as far as it can be observed may now be very advisable {para} They were interrupted by the entrance of Margaret and Elinor was then at liberty to think over the representations of her mother to acknowledge the probability of many and hope for the justice of all {para} They saw nothing of Marianne till dinner time when she entered the room and took her place at the table without saying a word Her eyes were red and swollen and it seemed as if her tears were even then restrained with difficulty She avoided the looks of them all could neither eat nor speak and after some time on her mother 's silently pressing her hand with tender compassion her small degree of fortitude was quite overcome she burst into tears and left the room {para} This violent oppression of spirits continued the whole evening She was without any power because she was without any desire of command over herself The slightest mention of anything relative to Willoughby overpowered her in an instant and though her family were most anxiously attentive to her comfort it was impossible for them if they spoke at all to keep clear of every subject which her feelings connected with him {para} CHAPTER 16 {para} Marianne would have thought herself very inexcusable had she been able to sleep at all the first night after parting from Willoughby She would have been ashamed to look her family in the face the next morning had she not risen from her bed in more need of repose than when she lay down in it But the feelings which made such composure a disgrace left her in no danger of incurring it She was awake the whole night and she wept the greatest part of it She got up with a headache was unable to talk and unwilling to take any nourishment giving pain every moment to her mother and sisters and forbidding all attempt at consolation from either Her sensibility was potent enough {para} When breakfast was over she walked out by herself and wandered about the village of Allenham indulging the recollection of past enjoyment and crying over the present reverse for the chief of the morning {para} The evening passed off in the equal indulgence of feeling She played over every favourite song that she had been used to play to Willoughby every air in which their voices had been oftenest joined and sat at the instrument gazing on every line of music that he had written out for her till her heart was so heavy that no farther sadness could be gained and this nourishment of grief was every day applied She spent whole hours at the pianoforte alternately singing and crying her voice often totally suspended by her tears In books too as well as in music she courted the misery which a contrast between the past and present was certain of giving She read nothing but what they had been used to read together {para} Such violence of affliction indeed could not be supported for ever it sunk within a few days into a calmer melancholy but these employments to which she daily recurred her solitary walks and silent meditations still produced occasional effusions of sorrow as lively as ever {para} No letter from Willoughby came and none seemed expected by Marianne Her mother was surprised and Elinor again became uneasy But Mrs Dashwood could find explanations whenever she wanted them which at least satisfied herself {para} Remember Elinor said she how very often Sir John fetches our letters himself from the post and carries them to it We have already agreed that secrecy may be necessary and we must acknowledge that it could not be maintained if their correspondence were to pass through Sir John 's hands {para} Elinor could not deny the truth of this and she tried to find in it a motive sufficient for their silence But there was one method so direct so simple and in her opinion so eligible of knowing the real state of the affair and of instantly removing all mystery that she could not help suggesting it to her mother {para} Why do you not ask Marianne at once said she whether she is or she is not engaged to Willoughby From you her mother and so kind so indulgent a mother the question could not give offence It would be the natural result of your affection for her She used to be all unreserve and to you more especially {para} I would not ask such a question for the world Supposing it possible that they are not engaged what distress would not such an enquiry inflict At any rate it would be most ungenerous I should never deserve her confidence again after forcing from her a confession of what is meant at present to be unacknowledged to any one I know Marianne 's heart I know that she dearly loves me and that I shall not be the last to whom the affair is made known when circumstances make the revealment of it eligible I would not attempt to force the confidence of any one of a child much less because a sense of duty would prevent the denial which her wishes might direct {para} Elinor thought this generosity overstrained considering her sister 's youth and urged the matter farther but in vain common sense common care common prudence were all sunk in Mrs Dashwood 's romantic delicacy {para} It was several days before Willoughby 's name was mentioned before Marianne by any of her family Sir John and Mrs Jennings indeed were not so nice their witticisms added pain to many a painful hour but one evening Mrs Dashwood accidentally taking up a volume of Shakespeare exclaimed {para} We have never finished Hamlet Marianne our dear Willoughby went away before we could get through it We will put it by that when he comes againBut it may be months perhaps before THAT happens {para} Months cried Marianne with strong surprise No nor many weeks {para} Mrs Dashwood was sorry for what she had said but it gave Elinor pleasure as it produced a reply from Marianne so expressive of confidence in Willoughby and knowledge of his intentions {para} One morning about a week after his leaving the country Marianne was prevailed on to join her sisters in their usual walk instead of wandering away by herself Hitherto she had carefully avoided every companion in her rambles If her sisters intended to walk on the downs she directly stole away towards the lanes if they talked of the valley she was as speedy in climbing the hills and could never be found when the others set off But at length she was secured by the exertions of Elinor who greatly disapproved such continual seclusion They walked along the road through the valley and chiefly in silence for Marianne 's MIND could not be controlled and Elinor satisfied with gaining one point would not then attempt more Beyond the entrance of the valley where the country though still rich was less wild and more open a long stretch of the road which they had travelled on first coming to Barton lay before them and on reaching that point they stopped to look around them and examine a prospect which formed the distance of their view from the cottage from a spot which they had never happened to reach in any of their walks before {para} Amongst the objects in the scene they soon discovered an animated one it was a man on horseback riding towards them In a few minutes they could distinguish him to be a gentleman and in a moment afterwards Marianne rapturously exclaimed {para} It is he it is indeed I know it is and was hastening to meet him when Elinor cried out {para} Indeed Marianne I think you are mistaken It is not Willoughby The person is not tall enough for him and has not his air {para} He has he has cried Marianne I am sure he has His air his coat his horse I knew how soon he would come {para} She walked eagerly on as she spoke and Elinor to screen Marianne from particularity as she felt almost certain of its not being Willoughby quickened her pace and kept up with her They were soon within thirty yards of the gentleman Marianne looked again her heart sunk within her and abruptly turning round she was hurrying back when the voices of both her sisters were raised to detain her a third almost as well known as Willoughby 's joined them in begging her to stop and she turned round with surprise to see and welcome Edward Ferrars {para} He was the only person in the world who could at that moment be forgiven for not being Willoughby the only one who could have gained a smile from her but she dispersed her tears to smile on HIM and in her sister 's happiness forgot for a time her own disappointment {para} He dismounted and giving his horse to his servant walked back with them to Barton whither he was purposely coming to visit them {para} He was welcomed by them all with great cordiality but especially by Marianne who showed more warmth of regard in her reception of him than even Elinor herself To Marianne indeed the meeting between Edward and her sister was but a continuation of that unaccountable coldness which she had often observed at Norland in their mutual behaviour On Edward 's side more particularly there was a deficiency of all that a lover ought to look and say on such an occasion He was confused seemed scarcely sensible of pleasure in seeing them looked neither rapturous nor gay said little but what was forced from him by questions and distinguished Elinor by no mark of affection Marianne saw and listened with increasing surprise She began almost to feel a dislike of Edward and it ended as every feeling must end with her by carrying back her thoughts to Willoughby whose manners formed a contrast sufficiently striking to those of his brother elect {para} After a short silence which succeeded the first surprise and enquiries of meeting Marianne asked Edward if he came directly from London No he had been in Devonshire a fortnight {para} A fortnight she repeated surprised at his being so long in the same county with Elinor without seeing her before {para} He looked rather distressed as he added that he had been staying with some friends near Plymouth {para} Have you been lately in Sussex said Elinor {para} I was at Norland about a month ago {para} And how does dear dear Norland look cried Marianne {para} Dear dear Norland said Elinor probably looks much as it always does at this time of the year The woods and walks thickly covered with dead leaves {para} Oh cried Marianne with what transporting sensation have I formerly seen them fall How have I delighted as I walked to see them driven in showers about me by the wind What feelings have they the season the air altogether inspired Now there is no one to regard them They are seen only as a nuisance swept hastily off and driven as much as possible from the sight {para} It is not every one said Elinor who has your passion for dead leaves {para} No my feelings are not often shared not often understood But SOMETIMES they are As she said this she sunk into a reverie for a few moments but rousing herself again Now Edward said she calling his attention to the prospect here is Barton valley Look up to it and be tranquil if you can Look at those hills Did you ever see their equals To the left is Barton park amongst those woods and plantations You may see the end of the house And there beneath that farthest hill which rises with such grandeur is our cottage {para} It is a beautiful country he replied but these bottoms must be dirty in winter {para} How can you think of dirt with such objects before you {para} Because replied he smiling among the rest of the objects before me I see a very dirty lane {para} How strange said Marianne to herself as she walked on {para} Have you an agreeable neighbourhood here Are the Middletons pleasant people {para} No not all answered Marianne we could not be more unfortunately situated {para} Marianne cried her sister how can you say so How can you be so unjust They are a very respectable family Mr Ferrars and towards us have behaved in the friendliest manner Have you forgot Marianne how many pleasant days we have owed to them {para} No said Marianne in a low voice nor how many painful moments {para} Elinor took no notice of this and directing her attention to their visitor endeavoured to support something like discourse with him by talking of their present residence its conveniences &c extorting from him occasional questions and remarks His coldness and reserve mortified her severely she was vexed and half angry but resolving to regulate her behaviour to him by the past rather than the present she avoided every appearance of resentment or displeasure and treated him as she thought he ought to be treated from the family connection {para} CHAPTER 17 {para} Mrs Dashwood was surprised only for a moment at seeing him for his coming to Barton was in her opinion of all things the most natural Her joy and expression of regard long outlived her wonder He received the kindest welcome from her and shyness coldness reserve could not stand against such a reception They had begun to fail him before he entered the house and they were quite overcome by the captivating manners of Mrs Dashwood Indeed a man could not very well be in love with either of her daughters without extending the passion to her and Elinor had the satisfaction of seeing him soon become more like himself His affections seemed to reanimate towards them all and his interest in their welfare again became perceptible He was not in spirits however he praised their house admired its prospect was attentive and kind but still he was not in spirits The whole family perceived it and Mrs Dashwood attributing it to some want of liberality in his mother sat down to table indignant against all selfish parents {para} What are Mrs Ferrars 's views for you at present Edward said she when dinner was over and they had drawn round the fire are you still to be a great orator in spite of yourself {para} No I hope my mother is now convinced that I have no more talents than inclination for a public life {para} But how is your fame to be established for famous you must be to satisfy all your family and with no inclination for expense no affection for strangers no profession and no assurance you may find it a difficult matter {para} I shall not attempt it I have no wish to be distinguished and have every reason to hope I never shall Thank Heaven I cannot be forced into genius and eloquence {para} You have no ambition I well know Your wishes are all moderate {para} As moderate as those of the rest of the world I believe I wish as well as every body else to be perfectly happy but like every body else it must be in my own way Greatness will not make me so {para} Strange that it would cried Marianne What have wealth or grandeur to do with happiness {para} Grandeur has but little said Elinor but wealth has much to do with it {para} Elinor for shame said Marianne money can only give happiness where there is nothing else to give it Beyond a competence it can afford no real satisfaction as far as mere self is concerned {para} Perhaps said Elinor smiling we may come to the same point YOUR competence and MY wealth are very much alike I dare say and without them as the world goes now we shall both agree that every kind of external comfort must be wanting Your ideas are only more noble than mine Come what is your competence {para} About eighteen hundred or two thousand a year not more than THAT {para} Elinor laughed TWO thousand a year ONE is my wealth I guessed how it would end {para} And yet two thousand a year is a very moderate income said Marianne A family cannot well be maintained on a smaller I am sure I am not extravagant in my demands A proper establishment of servants a carriage perhaps two and hunters cannot be supported on less {para} Elinor smiled again to hear her sister describing so accurately their future expenses at Combe Magna {para} Hunters repeated Edward but why must you have hunters Every body does not hunt {para} Marianne coloured as she replied But most people do {para} I wish said Margaret striking out a novel thought that somebody would give us all a large fortune apiece {para} Oh that they would cried Marianne her eyes sparkling with animation and her cheeks glowing with the delight of such imaginary happiness {para} We are all unanimous in that wish I suppose said Elinor in spite of the insufficiency of wealth {para} Oh dear cried Margaret how happy I should be I wonder what I should do with it {para} Marianne looked as if she had no doubt on that point {para} I should be puzzled to spend so large a fortune myself said Mrs Dashwood if my children were all to be rich my help {para} You must begin your improvements on this house observed Elinor and your difficulties will soon vanish {para} What magnificent orders would travel from this family to London said Edward in such an event What a happy day for booksellers music sellers and print shops You Miss Dashwood would give a general commission for every new print of merit to be sent you and as for Marianne I know her greatness of soul there would not be music enough in London to content her And books Thomson Cowper Scott she would buy them all over and over again she would buy up every copy I believe to prevent their falling into unworthy hands and she would have every book that tells her how to admire an old twisted tree Should not you Marianne Forgive me if I am very saucy But I was willing to shew you that I had not forgot our old disputes {para} I love to be reminded of the past Edward whether it be melancholy or gay I love to recall it and you will never offend me by talking of former times You are very right in supposing how my money would be spent some of it at least my loose cash would certainly be employed in improving my collection of music and books {para} And the bulk of your fortune would be laid out in annuities on the authors or their heirs {para} No Edward I should have something else to do with it {para} Perhaps then you would bestow it as a reward on that person who wrote the ablest defence of your favourite maxim that no one can ever be in love more than once in their life your opinion on that point is unchanged I presume {para} Undoubtedly At my time of life opinions are tolerably fixed It is not likely that I should now see or hear any thing to change them {para} Marianne is as steadfast as ever you see said Elinor she is not at all altered {para} She is only grown a little more grave than she was {para} Nay Edward said Marianne you need not reproach me You are not very gay yourself {para} Why should you think so replied he with a sigh But gaiety never was a part of MY character {para} Nor do I think it a part of Marianne 's said Elinor I should hardly call her a lively girl she is very earnest very eager in all she does sometimes talks a great deal and always with animation but she is not often really merry {para} I believe you are right he replied and yet I have always set her down as a lively girl {para} I have frequently detected myself in such kind of mistakes said Elinor in a total misapprehension of character in some point or other fancying people so much more gay or grave or ingenious or stupid than they really are and I can hardly tell why or in what the deception originated Sometimes one is guided by what they say of themselves and very frequently by what other people say of them without giving oneself time to deliberate and judge {para} But I thought it was right Elinor said Marianne to be guided wholly by the opinion of other people I thought our judgments were given us merely to be subservient to those of neighbours This has always been your doctrine I am sure {para} No Marianne never My doctrine has never aimed at the subjection of the understanding All I have ever attempted to influence has been the behaviour You must not confound my meaning I am guilty I confess of having often wished you to treat our acquaintance in general with greater attention but when have I advised you to adopt their sentiments or to conform to their judgment in serious matters {para} You have not been able to bring your sister over to your plan of general civility said Edward to Elinor Do you gain no ground {para} Quite the contrary replied Elinor looking expressively at Marianne {para} My judgment he returned is all on your side of the question but I am afraid my practice is much more on your sister 's I never wish to offend but I am so foolishly shy that I often seem negligent when I am only kept back by my natural awkwardness I have frequently thought that I must have been intended by nature to be fond of low company I am so little at my ease among strangers of gentility {para} Marianne has not shyness to excuse any inattention of hers said Elinor {para} She knows her own worth too well for false shame replied Edward Shyness is only the effect of a sense of inferiority in some way or other If I could persuade myself that my manners were perfectly easy and graceful I should not be shy {para} But you would still be reserved said Marianne and that is worse {para} Edward started Reserved Am I reserved Marianne {para} Yes very {para} I do not understand you replied he colouring Reserved how in what manner What am I to tell you What can you suppose {para} Elinor looked surprised at his emotion but trying to laugh off the subject she said to him Do not you know my sister well enough to understand what she means Do not you know she calls every one reserved who does not talk as fast and admire what she admires as rapturously as herself {para} Edward made no answer His gravity and thoughtfulness returned on him in their fullest extent and he sat for some time silent and dull {para} CHAPTER 18 {para} Elinor saw with great uneasiness the low spirits of her friend His visit afforded her but a very partial satisfaction while his own enjoyment in it appeared so imperfect It was evident that he was unhappy she wished it were equally evident that he still distinguished her by the same affection which once she had felt no doubt of inspiring but hitherto the continuance of his preference seemed very uncertain and the reservedness of his manner towards her contradicted one moment what a more animated look had intimated the preceding one {para} He joined her and Marianne in the breakfast room the next morning before the others were down and Marianne who was always eager to promote their happiness as far as she could soon left them to themselves But before she was half way upstairs she heard the parlour door open and turning round was astonished to see Edward himself come out {para} I am going into the village to see my horses said be as you are not yet ready for breakfast I shall be back again presently {para} Edward returned to them with fresh admiration of the surrounding country in his walk to the village he had seen many parts of the valley to advantage and the village itself in a much higher situation than the cottage afforded a general view of the whole which had exceedingly pleased him This was a subject which ensured Marianne 's attention and she was beginning to describe her own admiration of these scenes and to question him more minutely on the objects that had particularly struck him when Edward interrupted her by saying You must not enquire too far Marianne remember I have no knowledge in the picturesque and I shall offend you by my ignorance and want of taste if we come to particulars I shall call hills steep which ought to be bold surfaces strange and uncouth which ought to be irregular and rugged and distant objects out of sight which ought only to be indistinct through the soft medium of a hazy atmosphere You must be satisfied with such admiration as I can honestly give I call it a very fine country the hills are steep the woods seem full of fine timber and the valley looks comfortable and snug with rich meadows and several neat farm houses scattered here and there It exactly answers my idea of a fine country because it unites beauty with utility and I dare say it is a picturesque one too because you admire it I can easily believe it to be full of rocks and promontories grey moss and brush wood but these are all lost on me I know nothing of the picturesque {para} I am afraid it is but too true said Marianne but why should you boast of it {para} I suspect said Elinor that to avoid one kind of affectation Edward here falls into another Because he believes many people pretend to more admiration of the beauties of nature than they really feel and is disgusted with such pretensions he affects greater indifference and less discrimination in viewing them himself than he possesses He is fastidious and will have an affectation of his own {para} It is very true said Marianne that admiration of landscape scenery is become a mere jargon Every body pretends to feel and tries to describe with the taste and elegance of him who first defined what picturesque beauty was I detest jargon of every kind and sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself because I could find no language to describe them in but what was worn and hackneyed out of all sense and meaning {para} I am convinced said Edward that you really feel all the delight in a fine prospect which you profess to feel But in return your sister must allow me to feel no more than I profess I like a fine prospect but not on picturesque principles I do not like crooked twisted blasted trees I admire them much more if they are tall straight and flourishing I do not like ruined tattered cottages I am not fond of nettles or thistles or heath blossoms I have more pleasure in a snug farm house than a watch tower and a troop of tidy happy villages please me better than the finest banditti in the world {para} Marianne looked with amazement at Edward with compassion at her sister Elinor only laughed {para} The subject was continued no farther and Marianne remained thoughtfully silent till a new object suddenly engaged her attention She was sitting by Edward and in taking his tea from Mrs Dashwood his hand passed so directly before her as to make a ring with a plait of hair in the centre very conspicuous on one of his fingers {para} I never saw you wear a ring before Edward she cried Is that Fanny 's hair I remember her promising to give you some But I should have thought her hair had been darker {para} Marianne spoke inconsiderately what she really felt but when she saw how much she had pained Edward her own vexation at her want of thought could not be surpassed by his He coloured very deeply and giving a momentary glance at Elinor replied Yes it is my sister 's hair The setting always casts a different shade on it you know {para} Elinor had met his eye and looked conscious likewise That the hair was her own she instantaneously felt as well satisfied as Marianne the only difference in their conclusions was that what Marianne considered as a free gift from her sister Elinor was conscious must have been procured by some theft or contrivance unknown to herself She was not in a humour however to regard it as an affront and affecting to take no notice of what passed by instantly talking of something else she internally resolved henceforward to catch every opportunity of eyeing the hair and of satisfying herself beyond all doubt that it was exactly the shade of her own {para} Edward 's embarrassment lasted some time and it ended in an absence of mind still more settled He was particularly grave the whole morning Marianne severely censured herself for what she had said but her own forgiveness might have been more speedy had she known how little offence it had given her sister {para} Before the middle of the day they were visited by Sir John and Mrs Jennings who having heard of the arrival of a gentleman at the cottage came to take a survey of the guest With the assistance of his mother in law Sir John was not long in discovering that the name of Ferrars began with an F and this prepared a future mine of raillery against the devoted Elinor which nothing but the newness of their acquaintance with Edward could have prevented from being immediately sprung But as it was she only learned from some very significant looks how far their penetration founded on Margaret 's instructions extended {para} Sir John never came to the Dashwoods without either inviting them to dine at the park the next day or to drink tea with them that evening On the present occasion for the better entertainment of their visitor towards whose amusement he felt himself bound to contribute he wished to engage them for both {para} You MUST drink tea with us to night said he for we shall be quite alone and tomorrow you must absolutely dine with us for we shall be a large party {para} Mrs Jennings enforced the necessity And who knows but you may raise a dance said she And that will tempt YOU Miss Marianne {para} A dance cried Marianne Impossible Who is to dance {para} Who why yourselves and the Careys and Whitakers to be sure What you thought nobody could dance because a certain person that shall be nameless is gone {para} I wish with all my soul cried Sir John that Willoughby were among us again {para} This and Marianne 's blushing gave new suspicions to Edward And who is Willoughby said he in a low voice to Miss Dashwood by whom he was sitting {para} She gave him a brief reply Marianne 's countenance was more communicative Edward saw enough to comprehend not only the meaning of others but such of Marianne 's expressions as had puzzled him before and when their visitors left them he went immediately round her and said in a whisper I have been guessing Shall I tell you my guess {para} What do you mean {para} Shall I tell you {para} Certainly {para} Well then I guess that Mr Willoughby hunts {para} Marianne was surprised and confused yet she could not help smiling at the quiet archness of his manner and after a moment 's silence said {para} Oh Edward How can you But the time will come I hopeI am sure you will like him {para} I do not doubt it replied he rather astonished at her earnestness and warmth for had he not imagined it to be a joke for the good of her acquaintance in general founded only on a something or a nothing between Mr Willoughby and herself he would not have ventured to mention it {para} CHAPTER 19 {para} Edward remained a week at the cottage he was earnestly pressed by Mrs Dashwood to stay longer but as if he were bent only on self mortification he seemed resolved to be gone when his enjoyment among his friends was at the height His spirits during the last two or three days though still very unequal were greatly improved he grew more and more partial to the house and environs never spoke of going away without a sigh declared his time to be wholly disengaged even doubted to what place he should go when he left them but still go he must Never had any week passed so quickly he could hardly believe it to be gone He said so repeatedly other things he said too which marked the turn of his feelings and gave the lie to his actions He had no pleasure at Norland he detested being in town but either to Norland or London he must go He valued their kindness beyond any thing and his greatest happiness was in being with them Yet he must leave them at the end of a week in spite of their wishes and his own and without any restraint on his time {para} Elinor placed all that was astonishing in this way of acting to his mother 's account and it was happy for her that he had a mother whose character was so imperfectly known to her as to be the general excuse for every thing strange on the part of her son Disappointed however and vexed as she was and sometimes displeased with his uncertain behaviour to herself she was very well disposed on the whole to regard his actions with all the candid allowances and generous qualifications which had been rather more painfully extorted from her for Willoughby 's service by her mother His want of spirits of openness and of consistency were most usually attributed to his want of independence and his better knowledge of Mrs Ferrars 's disposition and designs The shortness of his visit the steadiness of his purpose in leaving them originated in the same fettered inclination the same inevitable necessity of temporizing with his mother The old well established grievance of duty against will parent against child was the cause of all She would have been glad to know when these difficulties were to cease this opposition was to yield when Mrs Ferrars would be reformed and her son be at liberty to be happy But from such vain wishes she was forced to turn for comfort to the renewal of her confidence in Edward 's affection to the remembrance of every mark of regard in look or word which fell from him while at Barton and above all to that flattering proof of it which he constantly wore round his finger {para} I think Edward said Mrs Dashwood as they were at breakfast the last morning you would be a happier man if you had any profession to engage your time and give an interest to your plans and actions Some inconvenience to your friends indeed might result from it you would not be able to give them so much of your time But with a smile you would be materially benefited in one particular at least you would know where to go when you left them {para} I do assure you he replied that I have long thought on this point as you think now It has been and is and probably will always be a heavy misfortune to me that I have had no necessary business to engage me no profession to give me employment or afford me any thing like independence But unfortunately my own nicety and the nicety of my friends have made me what I am an idle helpless being We never could agree in our choice of a profession I always preferred the church as I still do But that was not smart enough for my family They recommended the army That was a great deal too smart for me The law was allowed to be genteel enough many young men who had chambers in the Temple made a very good appearance in the first circles and drove about town in very knowing gigs But I had no inclination for the law even in this less abstruse study of it which my family approved As for the navy it had fashion on its side but I was too old when the subject was first started to enter it and at length as there was no necessity for my having any profession at all as I might be as dashing and expensive without a red coat on my back as with one idleness was pronounced on the whole to be most advantageous and honourable and a young man of eighteen is not in general so earnestly bent on being busy as to resist the solicitations of his friends to do nothing I was therefore entered at Oxford and have been properly idle ever since {para} The consequence of which I suppose will be said Mrs Dashwood since leisure has not promoted your own happiness that your sons will be brought up to as many pursuits employments professions and trades as Columella 's {para} They will be brought up said he in a serious accent to be as unlike myself as is possible In feeling in action in condition in every thing {para} Come come this is all an effusion of immediate want of spirits Edward You are in a melancholy humour and fancy that any one unlike yourself must be happy But remember that the pain of parting from friends will be felt by every body at times whatever be their education or state Know your own happiness You want nothing but patience or give it a more fascinating name call it hope Your mother will secure to you in time that independence you are so anxious for it is her duty and it will it must ere long become her happiness to prevent your whole youth from being wasted in discontent How much may not a few months do {para} I think replied Edward that I may defy many months to produce any good to me {para} This desponding turn of mind though it could not be communicated to Mrs Dashwood gave additional pain to them all in the parting which shortly took place and left an uncomfortable impression on Elinor 's feelings especially which required some trouble and time to subdue But as it was her determination to subdue it and to prevent herself from appearing to suffer more than what all her family suffered on his going away she did not adopt the method so judiciously employed by Marianne on a similar occasion to augment and fix her sorrow by seeking silence solitude and idleness Their means were as different as their objects and equally suited to the advancement of each {para} Elinor sat down to her drawing table as soon as he was out of the house busily employed herself the whole day neither sought nor avoided the mention of his name appeared to interest herself almost as much as ever in the general concerns of the family and if by this conduct she did not lessen her own grief it was at least prevented from unnecessary increase and her mother and sisters were spared much solicitude on her account {para} Such behaviour as this so exactly the reverse of her own appeared no more meritorious to Marianne than her own had seemed faulty to her The business of self command she settled very easily with strong affections it was impossible with calm ones it could have no merit That her sister 's affections WERE calm she dared not deny though she blushed to acknowledge it and of the strength of her own she gave a very striking proof by still loving and respecting that sister in spite of this mortifying conviction {para} Without shutting herself up from her family or leaving the house in determined solitude to avoid them or lying awake the whole night to indulge meditation Elinor found every day afforded her leisure enough to think of Edward and of Edward 's behaviour in every possible variety which the different state of her spirits at different times could produce with tenderness pity approbation censure and doubt There were moments in abundance when if not by the absence of her mother and sisters at least by the nature of their employments conversation was forbidden among them and every effect of solitude was produced Her mind was inevitably at liberty her thoughts could not be chained elsewhere and the past and the future on a subject so interesting must be before her must force her attention and engross her memory her reflection and her fancy {para} From a reverie of this kind as she sat at her drawing table she was roused one morning soon after Edward 's leaving them by the arrival of company She happened to be quite alone The closing of the little gate at the entrance of the green court in front of the house drew her eyes to the window and she saw a large party walking up to the door Amongst them were Sir John and Lady Middleton and Mrs Jennings but there were two others a gentleman and lady who were quite unknown to her She was sitting near the window and as soon as Sir John perceived her he left the rest of the party to the ceremony of knocking at the door and stepping across the turf obliged her to open the casement to speak to him though the space was so short between the door and the window as to make it hardly possible to speak at one without being heard at the other {para} Well said he we have brought you some strangers How do you like them {para} Hush they will hear you {para} Never mind if they do It is only the Palmers Charlotte is very pretty I can tell you You may see her if you look this way {para} As Elinor was certain of seeing her in a couple of minutes without taking that liberty she begged to be excused {para} Where is Marianne Has she run away because we are come I see her instrument is open {para} She is walking I believe {para} They were now joined by Mrs Jennings who had not patience enough to wait till the door was opened before she told HER story She came hallooing to the window How do you do my dear How does Mrs Dashwood do And where are your sisters What all alone you will be glad of a little company to sit with you I have brought my other son and daughter to see you Only think of their coming so suddenly I thought I heard a carriage last night while we were drinking our tea but it never entered my head that it could be them I thought of nothing but whether it might not be Colonel Brandon come back again so I said to Sir John I do think I hear a carriage perhaps it is Colonel Brandon come back again {para} Elinor was obliged to turn from her in the middle of her story to receive the rest of the party Lady Middleton introduced the two strangers Mrs Dashwood and Margaret came down stairs at the same time and they all sat down to look at one another while Mrs Jennings continued her story as she walked through the passage into the parlour attended by Sir John {para} Mrs Palmer was several years younger than Lady Middleton and totally unlike her in every respect She was short and plump had a very pretty face and the finest expression of good humour in it that could possibly be Her manners were by no means so elegant as her sister 's but they were much more prepossessing She came in with a smile smiled all the time of her visit except when she laughed and smiled when she went away Her husband was a grave looking young man of five or six and twenty with an air of more fashion and sense than his wife but of less willingness to please or be pleased He entered the room with a look of self consequence slightly bowed to the ladies without speaking a word and after briefly surveying them and their apartments took up a newspaper from the table and continued to read it as long as he staid {para} Mrs Palmer on the contrary who was strongly endowed by nature with a turn for being uniformly civil and happy was hardly seated before her admiration of the parlour and every thing in it burst forth {para} Well what a delightful room this is I never saw anything so charming Only think Mamma how it is improved since I was here last I always thought it such a sweet place ma'am turning to Mrs Dashwood but you have made it so charming Only look sister how delightful every thing is How I should like such a house for myself Should not you Mr Palmer {para} Mr Palmer made her no answer and did not even raise his eyes from the newspaper {para} Mr Palmer does not hear me said she laughing he never does sometimes It is so ridiculous {para} This was quite a new idea to Mrs Dashwood she had never been used to find wit in the inattention of any one and could not help looking with surprise at them both {para} Mrs Jennings in the meantime talked on as loud as she could and continued her account of their surprise the evening before on seeing their friends without ceasing till every thing was told Mrs Palmer laughed heartily at the recollection of their astonishment and every body agreed two or three times over that it had been quite an agreeable surprise {para} You may believe how glad we all were to see them added Mrs Jennings leaning forward towards Elinor and speaking in a low voice as if she meant to be heard by no one else though they were seated on different sides of the room but however I can't help wishing they had not travelled quite so fast nor made such a long journey of it for they came all round by London upon account of some business for you know nodding significantly and pointing to her daughter it was wrong in her situation I wanted her to stay at home and rest this morning but she would come with us she longed so much to see you all {para} Mrs Palmer laughed and said it would not do her any harm {para} She expects to be confined in February continued Mrs Jennings {para} Lady Middleton could no longer endure such a conversation and therefore exerted herself to ask Mr Palmer if there was any news in the paper {para} No none at all he replied and read on {para} Here comes Marianne cried Sir John Now Palmer you shall see a monstrous pretty girl {para} He immediately went into the passage opened the front door and ushered her in himself Mrs Jennings asked her as soon as she appeared if she had not been to Allenham and Mrs Palmer laughed so heartily at the question as to show she understood it Mr Palmer looked up on her entering the room stared at her some minutes and then returned to his newspaper Mrs Palmer 's eye was now caught by the drawings which hung round the room She got up to examine them {para} Oh dear how beautiful these are Well how delightful Do but look mama how sweet I declare they are quite charming I could look at them for ever And then sitting down again she very soon forgot that there were any such things in the room {para} When Lady Middleton rose to go away Mr Palmer rose also laid down the newspaper stretched himself and looked at them all around {para} My love have you been asleep said his wife laughing {para} He made her no answer and only observed after again examining the room that it was very low pitched and that the ceiling was crooked He then made his bow and departed with the rest {para} Sir John had been very urgent with them all to spend the next day at the park Mrs Dashwood who did not chuse to dine with them oftener than they dined at the cottage absolutely refused on her own account her daughters might do as they pleased But they had no curiosity to see how Mr and Mrs Palmer ate their dinner and no expectation of pleasure from them in any other way They attempted therefore likewise to excuse themselves the weather was uncertain and not likely to be good But Sir John would not be satisfied the carriage should be sent for them and they must come Lady Middleton too though she did not press their mother pressed them Mrs Jennings and Mrs Palmer joined their entreaties all seemed equally anxious to avoid a family party and the young ladies were obliged to yield {para} Why should they ask us said Marianne as soon as they were gone The rent of this cottage is said to be low but we have it on very hard terms if we are to dine at the park whenever any one is staying either with them or with us {para} They mean no less to be civil and kind to us now said Elinor by these frequent invitations than by those which we received from them a few weeks ago The alteration is not in them if their parties are grown tedious and dull We must look for the change elsewhere {para} CHAPTER 20 {para} As the Miss Dashwoods entered the drawing room of the park the next day at one door Mrs Palmer came running in at the other looking as good humoured and merry as before She took them all most affectionately by the hand and expressed great delight in seeing them again {para} I am so glad to see you said she seating herself between Elinor and Marianne for it is so bad a day I was afraid you might not come which would be a shocking thing as we go away again tomorrow We must go for the Westons come to us next week you know It was quite a sudden thing our coming at all and I knew nothing of it till the carriage was coming to the door and then Mr Palmer asked me if I would go with him to Barton He is so droll He never tells me any thing I am so sorry we cannot stay longer however we shall meet again in town very soon I hope {para} They were obliged to put an end to such an expectation {para} Not go to town cried Mrs Palmer with a laugh I shall be quite disappointed if you do not I could get the nicest house in world for you next door to ours in Hanover square You must come indeed I am sure I shall be very happy to chaperon you at any time till I am confined if Mrs Dashwood should not like to go into public {para} They thanked her but were obliged to resist all her entreaties {para} Oh my love cried Mrs Palmer to her husband who just then entered the room you must help me to persuade the Miss Dashwoods to go to town this winter {para} Her love made no answer and after slightly bowing to the ladies began complaining of the weather {para} How horrid all this is said he Such weather makes every thing and every body disgusting Dullness is as much produced within doors as without by rain It makes one detest all one 's acquaintance What the devil does Sir John mean by not having a billiard room in his house How few people know what comfort is Sir John is as stupid as the weather {para} The rest of the company soon dropt in {para} I am afraid Miss Marianne said Sir John you have not been able to take your usual walk to Allenham today {para} Marianne looked very grave and said nothing {para} Oh don't be so sly before us said Mrs Palmer for we know all about it I assure you and I admire your taste very much for I think he is extremely handsome We do not live a great way from him in the country you know Not above ten miles I dare say {para} Much nearer thirty said her husband {para} Ah well there is not much difference I never was at his house but they say it is a sweet pretty place {para} As vile a spot as I ever saw in my life said Mr Palmer {para} Marianne remained perfectly silent though her countenance betrayed her interest in what was said {para} Is it very ugly continued Mrs Palmer then it must be some other place that is so pretty I suppose {para} When they were seated in the dining room Sir John observed with regret that they were only eight all together {para} My dear said he to his lady it is very provoking that we should be so few Why did not you ask the Gilberts to come to us today {para} Did not I tell you Sir John when you spoke to me about it before that it could not be done They dined with us last {para} You and I Sir John said Mrs Jennings should not stand upon such ceremony {para} Then you would be very ill bred cried Mr Palmer {para} My love you contradict every body said his wife with her usual laugh Do you know that you are quite rude {para} I did not know I contradicted any body in calling your mother ill bred {para} Ay you may abuse me as you please said the good natured old lady you have taken Charlotte off my hands and cannot give her back again So there I have the whip hand of you {para} Charlotte laughed heartily to think that her husband could not get rid of her and exultingly said she did not care how cross he was to her as they must live together It was impossible for any one to be more thoroughly good natured or more determined to be happy than Mrs Palmer The studied indifference insolence and discontent of her husband gave her no pain and when he scolded or abused her she was highly diverted {para} Mr Palmer is so droll said she in a whisper to Elinor He is always out of humour {para} Elinor was not inclined after a little observation to give him credit for being so genuinely and unaffectedly ill natured or ill bred as he wished to appear His temper might perhaps be a little soured by finding like many others of his sex that through some unaccountable bias in favour of beauty he was the husband of a very silly woman but she knew that this kind of blunder was too common for any sensible man to be lastingly hurt by it It was rather a wish of distinction she believed which produced his contemptuous treatment of every body and his general abuse of every thing before him It was the desire of appearing superior to other people The motive was too common to be wondered at but the means however they might succeed by establishing his superiority in ill breeding were not likely to attach any one to him except his wife {para} Oh my dear Miss Dashwood said Mrs Palmer soon afterwards I have got such a favour to ask of you and your sister Will you come and spend some time at Cleveland this Christmas Now pray do and come while the Westons are with us You cannot think how happy I shall be It will be quite delightful My love applying to her husband don't you long to have the Miss Dashwoods come to Cleveland {para} Certainly he replied with a sneer I came into Devonshire with no other view {para} There now said his lady you see Mr Palmer expects you so you cannot refuse to come {para} They both eagerly and resolutely declined her invitation {para} But indeed you must and shall come I am sure you will like it of all things The Westons will be with us and it will be quite delightful You cannot think what a sweet place Cleveland is and we are so gay now for Mr Palmer is always going about the country canvassing against the election and so many people came to dine with us that I never saw before it is quite charming But poor fellow it is very fatiguing to him for he is forced to make every body like him {para} Elinor could hardly keep her countenance as she assented to the hardship of such an obligation {para} How charming it will be said Charlotte when he is in Parliament won't it How I shall laugh It will be so ridiculous to see all his letters directed to him with an MP But do you know he says he will never frank for me He declares he won't Don't you Mr Palmer {para} Mr Palmer took no notice of her {para} He cannot bear writing you know she continued he says it is quite shocking {para} No said he I never said any thing so irrational Don't palm all your abuses of languages upon me {para} There now you see how droll he is This is always the way with him Sometimes he won't speak to me for half a day together and then he comes out with something so droll all about any thing in the world {para} She surprised Elinor very much as they returned into the drawing room by asking her whether she did not like Mr Palmer excessively {para} Certainly said Elinor he seems very agreeable {para} Well I am so glad you do I thought you would he is so pleasant and Mr Palmer is excessively pleased with you and your sisters I can tell you and you can't think how disappointed he will be if you don't come to Cleveland I can't imagine why you should object to it {para} Elinor was again obliged to decline her invitation and by changing the subject put a stop to her entreaties She thought it probable that as they lived in the same county Mrs Palmer might be able to give some more particular account of Willoughby 's general character than could be gathered from the Middletons partial acquaintance with him and she was eager to gain from any one such a confirmation of his merits as might remove the possibility of fear from Marianne She began by inquiring if they saw much of Mr Willoughby at Cleveland and whether they were intimately acquainted with him {para} Oh dear yes I know him extremely well replied Mrs Palmer Not that I ever spoke to him indeed but I have seen him for ever in town Somehow or other I never happened to be staying at Barton while he was at Allenham Mama saw him here once before but I was with my uncle at Weymouth However I dare say we should have seen a great deal of him in Somersetshire if it had not happened very unluckily that we should never have been in the country together He is very little at Combe I believe but if he were ever so much there I do not think Mr Palmer would visit him for he is in the opposition you know and besides it is such a way off I know why you inquire about him very well your sister is to marry him I am monstrous glad of it for then I shall have her for a neighbour you know {para} Upon my word replied Elinor you know much more of the matter than I do if you have any reason to expect such a match {para} Don't pretend to deny it because you know it is what every body talks of I assure you I heard of it in my way through town {para} My dear Mrs Palmer {para} Upon my honour I did I met Colonel Brandon Monday morning in Bond street just before we left town and he told me of it directly {para} You surprise me very much Colonel Brandon tell you of it Surely you must be mistaken To give such intelligence to a person who could not be interested in it even if it were true is not what I should expect Colonel Brandon to do {para} But I do assure you it was so for all that and I will tell you how it happened When we met him he turned back and walked with us and so we began talking of my brother and sister and one thing and another and I said to him So Colonel there is a new family come to Barton cottage I hear and mama sends me word they are very pretty and that one of them is going to be married to Mr Willoughby of Combe Magna Is it true pray for of course you must know as you have been in Devonshire so lately {para} And what did the Colonel say {para} Oh he did not say much but he looked as if he knew it to be true so from that moment I set it down as certain It will be quite delightful I declare When is it to take place {para} Mr Brandon was very well I hope {para} Oh yes quite well and so full of your praises he did nothing but say fine things of you {para} I am flattered by his commendation He seems an excellent man and I think him uncommonly pleasing {para} So do I He is such a charming man that it is quite a pity he should be so grave and so dull Mamma says HE was in love with your sister too I assure you it was a great compliment if he was for he hardly ever falls in love with any body {para} Is Mr Willoughby much known in your part of Somersetshire said Elinor {para} Oh yes extremely well that is I do not believe many people are acquainted with him because Combe Magna is so far off but they all think him extremely agreeable I assure you Nobody is more liked than Mr Willoughby wherever he goes and so you may tell your sister She is a monstrous lucky girl to get him upon my honour not but that he is much more lucky in getting her because she is so very handsome and agreeable that nothing can be good enough for her However I don't think her hardly at all handsomer than you I assure you for I think you both excessively pretty and so does Mr Palmer too I am sure though we could not get him to own it last night {para} Mrs Palmer 's information respecting Willoughby was not very material but any testimony in his favour however small was pleasing to her {para} I am so glad we are got acquainted at last continued Charlotte And now I hope we shall always be great friends You can't think how much I longed to see you It is so delightful that you should live at the cottage Nothing can be like it to be sure And I am so glad your sister is going to be well married I hope you will be a great deal at Combe Magna It is a sweet place by all accounts {para} You have been long acquainted with Colonel Brandon have not you {para} Yes a great while ever since my sister married He was a particular friend of Sir John 's I believe she added in a low voice he would have been very glad to have had me if he could Sir John and Lady Middleton wished it very much But mama did not think the match good enough for me otherwise Sir John would have mentioned it to the Colonel and we should have been married immediately {para} Did not Colonel Brandon know of Sir John 's proposal to your mother before it was made Had he never owned his affection to yourself {para} Oh no but if mama had not objected to it I dare say he would have liked it of all things He had not seen me then above twice for it was before I left school However I am much happier as I am Mr Palmer is the kind of man I like {para} CHAPTER 21 {para} The Palmers returned to Cleveland the next day and the two families at Barton were again left to entertain each other But this did not last long Elinor had hardly got their last visitors out of her head had hardly done wondering at Charlotte 's being so happy without a cause at Mr Palmer 's acting so simply with good abilities and at the strange unsuitableness which often existed between husband and wife before Sir John 's and Mrs Jennings 's active zeal in the cause of society procured her some other new acquaintance to see and observe {para} In a morning 's excursion to Exeter they had met with two young ladies whom Mrs Jennings had the satisfaction of discovering to be her relations and this was enough for Sir John to invite them directly to the park as soon as their present engagements at Exeter were over Their engagements at Exeter instantly gave way before such an invitation and Lady Middleton was thrown into no little alarm on the return of Sir John by hearing that she was very soon to receive a visit from two girls whom she had never seen in her life and of whose elegance whose tolerable gentility even she could have no proof for the assurances of her husband and mother on that subject went for nothing at all Their being her relations too made it so much the worse and Mrs Jennings 's attempts at consolation were therefore unfortunately founded when she advised her daughter not to care about their being so fashionable because they were all cousins and must put up with one another As it was impossible however now to prevent their coming Lady Middleton resigned herself to the idea of it with all the philosophy of a well bred woman contenting herself with merely giving her husband a gentle reprimand on the subject five or six times every day {para} The young ladies arrived their appearance was by no means ungenteel or unfashionable Their dress was very smart their manners very civil they were delighted with the house and in raptures with the furniture and they happened to be so doatingly fond of children that Lady Middleton 's good opinion was engaged in their favour before they had been an hour at the Park She declared them to be very agreeable girls indeed which for her ladyship was enthusiastic admiration Sir John 's confidence in his own judgment rose with this animated praise and he set off directly for the cottage to tell the Miss Dashwoods of the Miss Steeles arrival and to assure them of their being the sweetest girls in the world From such commendation as this however there was not much to be learned Elinor well knew that the sweetest girls in the world were to be met with in every part of England under every possible variation of form face temper and understanding Sir John wanted the whole family to walk to the Park directly and look at his guests Benevolent philanthropic man It was painful to him even to keep a third cousin to himself {para} Do come now said he pray come you must come I declare you shall come You can't think how you will like them Lucy is monstrous pretty and so good humoured and agreeable The children are all hanging about her already as if she was an old acquaintance And they both long to see you of all things for they have heard at Exeter that you are the most beautiful creatures in the world and I have told them it is all very true and a great deal more You will be delighted with them I am sure They have brought the whole coach full of playthings for the children How can you be so cross as not to come Why they are your cousins you know after a fashion YOU are my cousins and they are my wife 's so you must be related {para} But Sir John could not prevail He could only obtain a promise of their calling at the Park within a day or two and then left them in amazement at their indifference to walk home and boast anew of their attractions to the Miss Steeles as he had been already boasting of the Miss Steeles to them {para} When their promised visit to the Park and consequent introduction to these young ladies took place they found in the appearance of the eldest who was nearly thirty with a very plain and not a sensible face nothing to admire but in the other who was not more than two or three and twenty they acknowledged considerable beauty her features were pretty and she had a sharp quick eye and a smartness of air which though it did not give actual elegance or grace gave distinction to her person Their manners were particularly civil and Elinor soon allowed them credit for some kind of sense when she saw with what constant and judicious attention they were making themselves agreeable to Lady Middleton With her children they were in continual raptures extolling their beauty courting their notice and humouring their whims and such of their time as could be spared from the importunate demands which this politeness made on it was spent in admiration of whatever her ladyship was doing if she happened to be doing any thing or in taking patterns of some elegant new dress in which her appearance the day before had thrown them into unceasing delight Fortunately for those who pay their court through such foibles a fond mother though in pursuit of praise for her children the most rapacious of human beings is likewise the most credulous her demands are exorbitant but she will swallow any thing and the excessive affection and endurance of the Miss Steeles towards her offspring were viewed therefore by Lady Middleton without the smallest surprise or distrust She saw with maternal complacency all the impertinent encroachments and mischievous tricks to which her cousins submitted She saw their sashes untied their hair pulled about their ears their work bags searched and their knives and scissors stolen away and felt no doubt of its being a reciprocal enjoyment It suggested no other surprise than that Elinor and Marianne should sit so composedly by without claiming a share in what was passing {para} John is in such spirits today said she on his taking Miss Steeles 's pocket handkerchief and throwing it out of window He is full of monkey tricks {para} And soon afterwards on the second boy 's violently pinching one of the same lady 's fingers she fondly observed How playful William is {para} And here is my sweet little Annamaria she added tenderly caressing a little girl of three years old who had not made a noise for the last two minutes And she is always so gentle and quiet Never was there such a quiet little thing {para} But unfortunately in bestowing these embraces a pin in her ladyship 's head dress slightly scratching the child 's neck produced from this pattern of gentleness such violent screams as could hardly be outdone by any creature professedly noisy The mother 's consternation was excessive but it could not surpass the alarm of the Miss Steeles and every thing was done by all three in so critical an emergency which affection could suggest as likely to assuage the agonies of the little sufferer She was seated in her mother 's lap covered with kisses her wound bathed with lavender water by one of the Miss Steeles who was on her knees to attend her and her mouth stuffed with sugar plums by the other With such a reward for her tears the child was too wise to cease crying She still screamed and sobbed lustily kicked her two brothers for offering to touch her and all their united soothings were ineffectual till Lady Middleton luckily remembering that in a scene of similar distress last week some apricot marmalade had been successfully applied for a bruised temple the same remedy was eagerly proposed for this unfortunate scratch and a slight intermission of screams in the young lady on hearing it gave them reason to hope that it would not be rejected She was carried out of the room therefore in her mother 's arms in quest of this medicine and as the two boys chose to follow though earnestly entreated by their mother to stay behind the four young ladies were left in a quietness which the room had not known for many hours {para} Poor little creatures said Miss Steele as soon as they were gone It might have been a very sad accident {para} Yet I hardly know how cried Marianne unless it had been under totally different circumstances But this is the usual way of heightening alarm where there is nothing to be alarmed at in reality {para} What a sweet woman Lady Middleton is said Lucy Steele {para} Marianne was silent it was impossible for her to say what she did not feel however trivial the occasion and upon Elinor therefore the whole task of telling lies when politeness required it always fell She did her best when thus called on by speaking of Lady Middleton with more warmth than she felt though with far less than Miss Lucy {para} And Sir John too cried the elder sister what a charming man he is {para} Here too Miss Dashwood 's commendation being only simple and just came in without any eclat She merely observed that he was perfectly good humoured and friendly {para} And what a charming little family they have I never saw such fine children in my life I declare I quite doat upon them already and indeed I am always distractedly fond of children {para} I should guess so said Elinor with a smile from what I have witnessed this morning {para} I have a notion said Lucy you think the little Middletons rather too much indulged perhaps they may be the outside of enough but it is so natural in Lady Middleton and for my part I love to see children full of life and spirits I cannot bear them if they are tame and quiet {para} I confess replied Elinor that while I am at Barton Park I never think of tame and quiet children with any abhorrence {para} A short pause succeeded this speech which was first broken by Miss Steele who seemed very much disposed for conversation and who now said rather abruptly And how do you like Devonshire Miss Dashwood I suppose you were very sorry to leave Sussex {para} In some surprise at the familiarity of this question or at least of the manner in which it was spoken Elinor replied that she was {para} Norland is a prodigious beautiful place is not it added Miss Steele {para} We have heard Sir John admire it excessively said Lucy who seemed to think some apology necessary for the freedom of her sister {para} I think every one MUST admire it replied Elinor who ever saw the place though it is not to be supposed that any one can estimate its beauties as we do {para} And had you a great many smart beaux there I suppose you have not so many in this part of the world for my part I think they are a vast addition always {para} But why should you think said Lucy looking ashamed of her sister that there are not as many genteel young men in Devonshire as Sussex {para} Nay my dear I 'm sure I don't pretend to say that there an't I 'm sure there 's a vast many smart beaux in Exeter but you know how could I tell what smart beaux there might be about Norland and I was only afraid the Miss Dashwoods might find it dull at Barton if they had not so many as they used to have But perhaps you young ladies may not care about the beaux and had as lief be without them as with them For my part I think they are vastly agreeable provided they dress smart and behave civil But I can't bear to see them dirty and nasty Now there 's Mr Rose at Exeter a prodigious smart young man quite a beau clerk to Mr Simpson you know and yet if you do but meet him of a morning he is not fit to be seen I suppose your brother was quite a beau Miss Dashwood before he married as he was so rich {para} Upon my word replied Elinor I cannot tell you for I do not perfectly comprehend the meaning of the word But this I can say that if he ever was a beau before he married he is one still for there is not the smallest alteration in him {para} Oh dear one never thinks of married men 's being beaux they have something else to do {para} Lord Anne cried her sister you can talk of nothing but beaux you will make Miss Dashwood believe you think of nothing else And then to turn the discourse she began admiring the house and the furniture {para} This specimen of the Miss Steeles was enough The vulgar freedom and folly of the eldest left her no recommendation and as Elinor was not blinded by the beauty or the shrewd look of the youngest to her want of real elegance and artlessness she left the house without any wish of knowing them better {para} Not so the Miss Steeles They came from Exeter well provided with admiration for the use of Sir John Middleton his family and all his relations and no niggardly proportion was now dealt out to his fair cousins whom they declared to be the most beautiful elegant accomplished and agreeable girls they had ever beheld and with whom they were particularly anxious to be better acquainted And to be better acquainted therefore Elinor soon found was their inevitable lot for as Sir John was entirely on the side of the Miss Steeles their party would be too strong for opposition and that kind of intimacy must be submitted to which consists of sitting an hour or two together in the same room almost every day Sir John could do no more but he did not know that any more was required to be together was in his opinion to be intimate and while his continual schemes for their meeting were effectual he had not a doubt of their being established friends {para} To do him justice he did every thing in his power to promote their unreserve by making the Miss Steeles acquainted with whatever he knew or supposed of his cousins situations in the most delicate particulars and Elinor had not seen them more than twice before the eldest of them wished her joy on her sister 's having been so lucky as to make a conquest of a very smart beau since she came to Barton {para} Twill be a fine thing to have her married so young to be sure said she and I hear he is quite a beau and prodigious handsome And I hope you may have as good luck yourself soon but perhaps you may have a friend in the corner already {para} Elinor could not suppose that Sir John would be more nice in proclaiming his suspicions of her regard for Edward than he had been with respect to Marianne indeed it was rather his favourite joke of the two as being somewhat newer and more conjectural and since Edward 's visit they had never dined together without his drinking to her best affections with so much significancy and so many nods and winks as to excite general attention The letter F had been likewise invariably brought forward and found productive of such countless jokes that its character as the wittiest letter in the alphabet had been long established with Elinor {para} The Miss Steeles as she expected had now all the benefit of these jokes and in the eldest of them they raised a curiosity to know the name of the gentleman alluded to which though often impertinently expressed was perfectly of a piece with her general inquisitiveness into the concerns of their family But Sir John did not sport long with the curiosity which he delighted to raise for he had at least as much pleasure in telling the name as Miss Steele had in hearing it {para} His name is Ferrars said he in a very audible whisper but pray do not tell it for it 's a great secret {para} Ferrars repeated Miss Steele Mr Ferrars is the happy man is he What your sister in law 's brother Miss Dashwood a very agreeable young man to be sure I know him very well {para} How can you say so Anne cried Lucy who generally made an amendment to all her sister 's assertions Though we have seen him once or twice at my uncle 's it is rather too much to pretend to know him very well {para} Elinor heard all this with attention and surprise And who was this uncle Where did he live How came they acquainted She wished very much to have the subject continued though she did not chuse to join in it herself but nothing more of it was said and for the first time in her life she thought Mrs Jennings deficient either in curiosity after petty information or in a disposition to communicate it The manner in which Miss Steele had spoken of Edward increased her curiosity for it struck her as being rather ill natured and suggested the suspicion of that lady 's knowing or fancying herself to know something to his disadvantage But her curiosity was unavailing for no farther notice was taken of Mr Ferrars 's name by Miss Steele when alluded to or even openly mentioned by Sir John {para} CHAPTER 22 {para} Marianne who had never much toleration for any thing like impertinence vulgarity inferiority of parts or even difference of taste from herself was at this time particularly ill disposed from the state of her spirits to be pleased with the Miss Steeles or to encourage their advances and to the invariable coldness of her behaviour towards them which checked every endeavour at intimacy on their side Elinor principally attributed that preference of herself which soon became evident in the manners of both but especially of Lucy who missed no opportunity of engaging her in conversation or of striving to improve their acquaintance by an easy and frank communication of her sentiments {para} Lucy was naturally clever her remarks were often just and amusing and as a companion for half an hour Elinor frequently found her agreeable but her powers had received no aid from education she was ignorant and illiterate and her deficiency of all mental improvement her want of information in the most common particulars could not be concealed from Miss Dashwood in spite of her constant endeavour to appear to advantage Elinor saw and pitied her for the neglect of abilities which education might have rendered so respectable but she saw with less tenderness of feeling the thorough want of delicacy of rectitude and integrity of mind which her attentions her assiduities her flatteries at the Park betrayed and she could have no lasting satisfaction in the company of a person who joined insincerity with ignorance whose want of instruction prevented their meeting in conversation on terms of equality and whose conduct toward others made every shew of attention and deference towards herself perfectly valueless {para} You will think my question an odd one I dare say said Lucy to her one day as they were walking together from the park to the cottage but pray are you personally acquainted with your sister in law 's mother Mrs Ferrars {para} Elinor DID think the question a very odd one and her countenance expressed it as she answered that she had never seen Mrs Ferrars {para} Indeed replied Lucy I wonder at that for I thought you must have seen her at Norland sometimes Then perhaps you cannot tell me what sort of a woman she is {para} No returned Elinor cautious of giving her real opinion of Edward 's mother and not very desirous of satisfying what seemed impertinent curiosity I know nothing of her {para} I am sure you think me very strange for enquiring about her in such a way said Lucy eyeing Elinor attentively as she spoke but perhaps there may be reasons I wish I might venture but however I hope you will do me the justice of believing that I do not mean to be impertinent {para} Elinor made her a civil reply and they walked on for a few minutes in silence It was broken by Lucy who renewed the subject again by saying with some hesitation {para} I cannot bear to have you think me impertinently curious I am sure I would rather do any thing in the world than be thought so by a person whose good opinion is so well worth having as yours And I am sure I should not have the smallest fear of trusting YOU indeed I should be very glad of your advice how to manage in such and uncomfortable situation as I am but however there is no occasion to trouble YOU I am sorry you do not happen to know Mrs Ferrars {para} I am sorry I do NOT said Elinor in great astonishment if it could be of any use to YOU to know my opinion of her But really I never understood that you were at all connected with that family and therefore I am a little surprised I confess at so serious an inquiry into her character {para} I dare say you are and I am sure I do not at all wonder at it But if I dared tell you all you would not be so much surprised Mrs Ferrars is certainly nothing to me at present but the time MAY come how soon it will come must depend upon herself when we may be very intimately connected {para} She looked down as she said this amiably bashful with only one side glance at her companion to observe its effect on her {para} Good heavens cried Elinor what do you mean Are you acquainted with Mr Robert Ferrars Can you be And she did not feel much delighted with the idea of such a sister in law {para} No replied Lucy not to Mr ROBERT Ferrars I never saw him in my life but fixing her eyes upon Elinor to his eldest brother {para} What felt Elinor at that moment Astonishment that would have been as painful as it was strong had not an immediate disbelief of the assertion attended it She turned towards Lucy in silent amazement unable to divine the reason or object of such a declaration and though her complexion varied she stood firm in incredulity and felt in no danger of an hysterical fit or a swoon {para} You may well be surprised continued Lucy for to be sure you could have had no idea of it before for I dare say he never dropped the smallest hint of it to you or any of your family because it was always meant to be a great secret and I am sure has been faithfully kept so by me to this hour Not a soul of all my relations know of it but Anne and I never should have mentioned it to you if I had not felt the greatest dependence in the world upon your secrecy and I really thought my behaviour in asking so many questions about Mrs Ferrars must seem so odd that it ought to be explained And I do not think Mr Ferrars can be displeased when he knows I have trusted you because I know he has the highest opinion in the world of all your family and looks upon yourself and the other Miss Dashwoods quite as his own sisters She paused {para} Elinor for a few moments remained silent Her astonishment at what she heard was at first too great for words but at length forcing herself to speak and to speak cautiously she said with calmness of manner which tolerably well concealed her surprise and solicitude May I ask if your engagement is of long standing {para} We have been engaged these four years {para} Four years {para} Yes {para} Elinor though greatly shocked still felt unable to believe it {para} I did not know said she that you were even acquainted till the other day {para} Our acquaintance however is of many years date He was under my uncle 's care you know a considerable while {para} Your uncle {para} Yes Mr Pratt Did you never hear him talk of Mr Pratt {para} I think I have replied Elinor with an exertion of spirits which increased with her increase of emotion {para} He was four years with my uncle who lives at Longstaple near Plymouth It was there our acquaintance begun for my sister and me was often staying with my uncle and it was there our engagement was formed though not till a year after he had quitted as a pupil but he was almost always with us afterwards I was very unwilling to enter into it as you may imagine without the knowledge and approbation of his mother but I was too young and loved him too well to be so prudent as I ought to have been Though you do not know him so well as me Miss Dashwood you must have seen enough of him to be sensible he is very capable of making a woman sincerely attached to him {para} Certainly answered Elinor without knowing what she said but after a moment 's reflection she added with revived security of Edward 's honour and love and her companion 's falsehood Engaged to Mr Edward Ferrars I confess myself so totally surprised at what you tell me that really I beg your pardon but surely there must be some mistake of person or name We cannot mean the same Mr Ferrars {para} We can mean no other cried Lucy smiling Mr Edward Ferrars the eldest son of Mrs Ferrars of Park Street and brother of your sister in law Mrs John Dashwood is the person I mean you must allow that I am not likely to be deceived as to the name of the man on who all my happiness depends {para} It is strange replied Elinor in a most painful perplexity that I should never have heard him even mention your name {para} No considering our situation it was not strange Our first care has been to keep the matter secret You knew nothing of me or my family and therefore there could be no OCCASION for ever mentioning my name to you and as he was always particularly afraid of his sister 's suspecting any thing THAT was reason enough for his not mentioning it {para} She was silent Elinor 's security sunk but her self command did not sink with it {para} Four years you have been engaged said she with a firm voice {para} Yes and heaven knows how much longer we may have to wait Poor Edward It puts him quite out of heart Then taking a small miniature from her pocket she added To prevent the possibility of mistake be so good as to look at this face It does not do him justice to be sure but yet I think you cannot be deceived as to the person it was drew for I have had it above these three years {para} She put it into her hands as she spoke and when Elinor saw the painting whatever other doubts her fear of a too hasty decision or her wish of detecting falsehood might suffer to linger in her mind she could have none of its being Edward 's face She returned it almost instantly acknowledging the likeness {para} I have never been able continued Lucy to give him my picture in return which I am very much vexed at for he has been always so anxious to get it But I am determined to set for it the very first opportunity {para} You are quite in the right replied Elinor calmly They then proceeded a few paces in silence Lucy spoke first {para} I am sure said she I have no doubt in the world of your faithfully keeping this secret because you must know of what importance it is to us not to have it reach his mother for she would never approve of it I dare say I shall have no fortune and I fancy she is an exceeding proud woman {para} I certainly did not seek your confidence said Elinor but you do me no more than justice in imagining that I may be depended on Your secret is safe with me but pardon me if I express some surprise at so unnecessary a communication You must at least have felt that my being acquainted with it could not add to its safety {para} As she said this she looked earnestly at Lucy hoping to discover something in her countenance perhaps the falsehood of the greatest part of what she had been saying but Lucy 's countenance suffered no change {para} I was afraid you would think I was taking a great liberty with you said she in telling you all this I have not known you long to be sure personally at least but I have known you and all your family by description a great while and as soon as I saw you I felt almost as if you was an old acquaintance Besides in the present case I really thought some explanation was due to you after my making such particular inquiries about Edward 's mother and I am so unfortunate that I have not a creature whose advice I can ask Anne is the only person that knows of it and she has no judgment at all indeed she does me a great deal more harm than good for I am in constant fear of her betraying me She does not know how to hold her tongue as you must perceive and I am sure I was in the greatest fright in the world t'other day when Edward 's name was mentioned by Sir John lest she should out with it all You can't think how much I go through in my mind from it altogether I only wonder that I am alive after what I have suffered for Edward 's sake these last four years Every thing in such suspense and uncertainty and seeing him so seldom we can hardly meet above twice a year I am sure I wonder my heart is not quite broke {para} Here she took out her handkerchief but Elinor did not feel very compassionate {para} Sometimes continued Lucy after wiping her eyes I think whether it would not be better for us both to break off the matter entirely As she said this she looked directly at her companion But then at other times I have not resolution enough for it I cannot bear the thoughts of making him so miserable as I know the very mention of such a thing would do And on my own account too so dear as he is to me I don't think I could be equal to it What would you advise me to do in such a case Miss Dashwood What would you do yourself {para} Pardon me replied Elinor startled by the question but I can give you no advice under such circumstances Your own judgment must direct you {para} To be sure continued Lucy after a few minutes silence on both sides his mother must provide for him sometime or other but poor Edward is so cast down by it Did you not think him dreadful low spirited when he was at Barton He was so miserable when he left us at Longstaple to go to you that I was afraid you would think him quite ill {para} Did he come from your uncle 's then when he visited us {para} Oh yes he had been staying a fortnight with us Did you think he came directly from town {para} No replied Elinor most feelingly sensible of every fresh circumstance in favour of Lucy 's veracity I remember he told us that he had been staying a fortnight with some friends near Plymouth She remembered too her own surprise at the time at his mentioning nothing farther of those friends at his total silence with respect even to their names {para} Did not you think him sadly out of spirits repeated Lucy {para} We did indeed particularly so when he first arrived {para} I begged him to exert himself for fear you should suspect what was the matter but it made him so melancholy not being able to stay more than a fortnight with us and seeing me so much affected Poor fellow I am afraid it is just the same with him now for he writes in wretched spirits I heard from him just before I left Exeter taking a letter from her pocket and carelessly showing the direction to Elinor You know his hand I dare say a charming one it is but that is not written so well as usual He was tired I dare say for he had just filled the sheet to me as full as possible {para} Elinor saw that it WAS his hand and she could doubt no longer This picture she had allowed herself to believe might have been accidentally obtained it might not have been Edward 's gift but a correspondence between them by letter could subsist only under a positive engagement could be authorised by nothing else for a few moments she was almost overcome her heart sunk within her and she could hardly stand but exertion was indispensably necessary and she struggled so resolutely against the oppression of her feelings that her success was speedy and for the time complete {para} Writing to each other said Lucy returning the letter into her pocket is the only comfort we have in such long separations Yes I have one other comfort in his picture but poor Edward has not even THAT If he had but my picture he says he should be easy I gave him a lock of my hair set in a ring when he was at Longstaple last and that was some comfort to him he said but not equal to a picture Perhaps you might notice the ring when you saw him {para} I did said Elinor with a composure of voice under which was concealed an emotion and distress beyond any thing she had ever felt before She was mortified shocked confounded {para} Fortunately for her they had now reached the cottage and the conversation could be continued no farther After sitting with them a few minutes the Miss Steeles returned to the Park and Elinor was then at liberty to think and be wretched {para} [ At this point in the first and second editions Volume 1 ends ] {para} CHAPTER 23 {para} However small Elinor 's general dependence on Lucy 's veracity might be it was impossible for her on serious reflection to suspect it in the present case where no temptation could be answerable to the folly of inventing a falsehood of such a description What Lucy had asserted to be true therefore Elinor could not dared not longer doubt supported as it was too on every side by such probabilities and proofs and contradicted by nothing but her own wishes Their opportunity of acquaintance in the house of Mr Pratt was a foundation for the rest at once indisputable and alarming and Edward 's visit near Plymouth his melancholy state of mind his dissatisfaction at his own prospects his uncertain behaviour towards herself the intimate knowledge of the Miss Steeles as to Norland and their family connections which had often surprised her the picture the letter the ring formed altogether such a body of evidence as overcame every fear of condemning him unfairly and established as a fact which no partiality could set aside his ill treatment of herself Her resentment of such behaviour her indignation at having been its dupe for a short time made her feel only for herself but other ideas other considerations soon arose Had Edward been intentionally deceiving her Had he feigned a regard for her which he did not feel Was his engagement to Lucy an engagement of the heart No whatever it might once have been she could not believe it such at present His affection was all her own She could not be deceived in that Her mother sisters Fanny all had been conscious of his regard for her at Norland it was not an illusion of her own vanity He certainly loved her What a softener of the heart was this persuasion How much could it not tempt her to forgive He had been blamable highly blamable in remaining at Norland after he first felt her influence over him to be more than it ought to be In that he could not be defended but if he had injured her how much more had he injured himself if her case were pitiable his was hopeless His imprudence had made her miserable for a while but it seemed to have deprived himself of all chance of ever being otherwise She might in time regain tranquillity but HE what had he to look forward to Could he ever be tolerably happy with Lucy Steele could he were his affection for herself out of the question with his integrity his delicacy and well informed mind be satisfied with a wife like her illiterate artful and selfish {para} The youthful infatuation of nineteen would naturally blind him to every thing but her beauty and good nature but the four succeeding years years which if rationally spent give such improvement to the understanding must have opened his eyes to her defects of education while the same period of time spent on her side in inferior society and more frivolous pursuits had perhaps robbed her of that simplicity which might once have given an interesting character to her beauty {para} If in the supposition of his seeking to marry herself his difficulties from his mother had seemed great how much greater were they now likely to be when the object of his engagement was undoubtedly inferior in connections and probably inferior in fortune to herself These difficulties indeed with a heart so alienated from Lucy might not press very hard upon his patience but melancholy was the state of the person by whom the expectation of family opposition and unkindness could be felt as a relief {para} As these considerations occurred to her in painful succession she wept for him more than for herself Supported by the conviction of having done nothing to merit her present unhappiness and consoled by the belief that Edward had done nothing to forfeit her esteem she thought she could even now under the first smart of the heavy blow command herself enough to guard every suspicion of the truth from her mother and sisters And so well was she able to answer her own expectations that when she joined them at dinner only two hours after she had first suffered the extinction of all her dearest hopes no one would have supposed from the appearance of the sisters that Elinor was mourning in secret over obstacles which must divide her for ever from the object of her love and that Marianne was internally dwelling on the perfections of a man of whose whole heart she felt thoroughly possessed and whom she expected to see in every carriage which drove near their house {para} The necessity of concealing from her mother and Marianne what had been entrusted in confidence to herself though it obliged her to unceasing exertion was no aggravation of Elinor 's distress On the contrary it was a relief to her to be spared the communication of what would give such affliction to them and to be saved likewise from hearing that condemnation of Edward which would probably flow from the excess of their partial affection for herself and which was more than she felt equal to support {para} From their counsel or their conversation she knew she could receive no assistance their tenderness and sorrow must add to her distress while her self command would neither receive encouragement from their example nor from their praise She was stronger alone and her own good sense so well supported her that her firmness was as unshaken her appearance of cheerfulness as invariable as with regrets so poignant and so fresh it was possible for them to be {para} Much as she had suffered from her first conversation with Lucy on the subject she soon felt an earnest wish of renewing it and this for more reasons than one She wanted to hear many particulars of their engagement repeated again she wanted more clearly to understand what Lucy really felt for Edward whether there were any sincerity in her declaration of tender regard for him and she particularly wanted to convince Lucy by her readiness to enter on the matter again and her calmness in conversing on it that she was no otherwise interested in it than as a friend which she very much feared her involuntary agitation in their morning discourse must have left at least doubtful That Lucy was disposed to be jealous of her appeared very probable it was plain that Edward had always spoken highly in her praise not merely from Lucy 's assertion but from her venturing to trust her on so short a personal acquaintance with a secret so confessedly and evidently important And even Sir John 's joking intelligence must have had some weight But indeed while Elinor remained so well assured within herself of being really beloved by Edward it required no other consideration of probabilities to make it natural that Lucy should be jealous and that she was so her very confidence was a proof What other reason for the disclosure of the affair could there be but that Elinor might be informed by it of Lucy 's superior claims on Edward and be taught to avoid him in future She had little difficulty in understanding thus much of her rival 's intentions and while she was firmly resolved to act by her as every principle of honour and honesty directed to combat her own affection for Edward and to see him as little as possible she could not deny herself the comfort of endeavouring to convince Lucy that her heart was unwounded And as she could now have nothing more painful to hear on the subject than had already been told she did not mistrust her own ability of going through a repetition of particulars with composure {para} But it was not immediately that an opportunity of doing so could be commanded though Lucy was as well disposed as herself to take advantage of any that occurred for the weather was not often fine enough to allow of their joining in a walk where they might most easily separate themselves from the others and though they met at least every other evening either at the park or cottage and chiefly at the former they could not be supposed to meet for the sake of conversation Such a thought would never enter either Sir John or Lady Middleton 's head and therefore very little leisure was ever given for a general chat and none at all for particular discourse They met for the sake of eating drinking and laughing together playing at cards or consequences or any other game that was sufficiently noisy {para} One or two meetings of this kind had taken place without affording Elinor any chance of engaging Lucy in private when Sir John called at the cottage one morning to beg in the name of charity that they would all dine with Lady Middleton that day as he was obliged to attend the club at Exeter and she would otherwise be quite alone except her mother and the two Miss Steeles Elinor who foresaw a fairer opening for the point she had in view in such a party as this was likely to be more at liberty among themselves under the tranquil and well bred direction of Lady Middleton than when her husband united them together in one noisy purpose immediately accepted the invitation Margaret with her mother 's permission was equally compliant and Marianne though always unwilling to join any of their parties was persuaded by her mother who could not bear to have her seclude herself from any chance of amusement to go likewise {para} The young ladies went and Lady Middleton was happily preserved from the frightful solitude which had threatened her The insipidity of the meeting was exactly such as Elinor had expected it produced not one novelty of thought or expression and nothing could be less interesting than the whole of their discourse both in the dining parlour and drawing room to the latter the children accompanied them and while they remained there she was too well convinced of the impossibility of engaging Lucy 's attention to attempt it They quitted it only with the removal of the tea things The card table was then placed and Elinor began to wonder at herself for having ever entertained a hope of finding time for conversation at the park They all rose up in preparation for a round game {para} I am glad said Lady Middleton to Lucy you are not going to finish poor little Annamaria 's basket this evening for I am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight And we will make the dear little love some amends for her disappointment to morrow and then I hope she will not much mind it {para} This hint was enough Lucy recollected herself instantly and replied Indeed you are very much mistaken Lady Middleton I am only waiting to know whether you can make your party without me or I should have been at my filigree already I would not disappoint the little angel for all the world and if you want me at the card table now I am resolved to finish the basket after supper {para} You are very good I hope it won't hurt your eyes will you ring the bell for some working candles My poor little girl would be sadly disappointed I know if the basket was not finished tomorrow for though I told her it certainly would not I am sure she depends upon having it done {para} Lucy directly drew her work table near her and reseated herself with an alacrity and cheerfulness which seemed to infer that she could taste no greater delight than in making a filigree basket for a spoilt child {para} Lady Middleton proposed a rubber of Casino to the others No one made any objection but Marianne who with her usual inattention to the forms of general civility exclaimed Your Ladyship will have the goodness to excuse ME you know I detest cards I shall go to the piano forte I have not touched it since it was tuned And without farther ceremony she turned away and walked to the instrument {para} Lady Middleton looked as if she thanked heaven that SHE had never made so rude a speech {para} Marianne can never keep long from that instrument you know ma'am said Elinor endeavouring to smooth away the offence and I do not much wonder at it for it is the very best toned piano forte I ever heard {para} The remaining five were now to draw their cards {para} Perhaps continued Elinor if I should happen to cut out I may be of some use to Miss Lucy Steele in rolling her papers for her and there is so much still to be done to the basket that it must be impossible I think for her labour singly to finish it this evening I should like the work exceedingly if she would allow me a share in it {para} Indeed I shall be very much obliged to you for your help cried Lucy for I find there is more to be done to it than I thought there was and it would be a shocking thing to disappoint dear Annamaria after all {para} Oh that would be terrible indeed said Miss Steele Dear little soul how I do love her {para} You are very kind said Lady Middleton to Elinor and as you really like the work perhaps you will be as well pleased not to cut in till another rubber or will you take your chance now {para} Elinor joyfully profited by the first of these proposals and thus by a little of that address which Marianne could never condescend to practise gained her own end and pleased Lady Middleton at the same time Lucy made room for her with ready attention and the two fair rivals were thus seated side by side at the same table and with the utmost harmony engaged in forwarding the same work The pianoforte at which Marianne wrapped up in her own music and her own thoughts had by this time forgotten that any body was in the room besides herself was luckily so near them that Miss Dashwood now judged she might safely under the shelter of its noise introduce the interesting subject without any risk of being heard at the card table {para} CHAPTER 24 {para} In a firm though cautious tone Elinor thus began {para} I should be undeserving of the confidence you have honoured me with if I felt no desire for its continuance or no farther curiosity on its subject I will not apologize therefore for bringing it forward again {para} Thank you cried Lucy warmly for breaking the ice you have set my heart at ease by it for I was somehow or other afraid I had offended you by what I told you that Monday {para} Offended me How could you suppose so Believe me and Elinor spoke it with the truest sincerity nothing could be farther from my intention than to give you such an idea Could you have a motive for the trust that was not honourable and flattering to me {para} And yet I do assure you replied Lucy her little sharp eyes full of meaning there seemed to me to be a coldness and displeasure in your manner that made me quite uncomfortable I felt sure that you was angry with me and have been quarrelling with myself ever since for having took such a liberty as to trouble you with my affairs But I am very glad to find it was only my own fancy and that you really do not blame me If you knew what a consolation it was to me to relieve my heart speaking to you of what I am always thinking of every moment of my life your compassion would make you overlook every thing else I am sure {para} Indeed I can easily believe that it was a very great relief to you to acknowledge your situation to me and be assured that you shall never have reason to repent it Your case is a very unfortunate one you seem to me to be surrounded with difficulties and you will have need of all your mutual affection to support you under them Mr Ferrars I believe is entirely dependent on his mother {para} He has only two thousand pounds of his own it would be madness to marry upon that though for my own part I could give up every prospect of more without a sigh I have been always used to a very small income and could struggle with any poverty for him but I love him too well to be the selfish means of robbing him perhaps of all that his mother might give him if he married to please her We must wait it may be for many years With almost every other man in the world it would be an alarming prospect but Edward 's affection and constancy nothing can deprive me of I know {para} That conviction must be every thing to you and he is undoubtedly supported by the same trust in your 's If the strength of your reciprocal attachment had failed as between many people and under many circumstances it naturally would during a four years engagement your situation would have been pitiable indeed {para} Lucy here looked up but Elinor was careful in guarding her countenance from every expression that could give her words a suspicious tendency {para} Edward 's love for me said Lucy has been pretty well put to the test by our long very long absence since we were first engaged and it has stood the trial so well that I should be unpardonable to doubt it now I can safely say that he has never gave me one moment 's alarm on that account from the first {para} Elinor hardly knew whether to smile or sigh at this assertion {para} Lucy went on I am rather of a jealous temper too by nature and from our different situations in life from his being so much more in the world than me and our continual separation I was enough inclined for suspicion to have found out the truth in an instant if there had been the slightest alteration in his behaviour to me when we met or any lowness of spirits that I could not account for or if he had talked more of one lady than another or seemed in any respect less happy at Longstaple than he used to be I do not mean to say that I am particularly observant or quick sighted in general but in such a case I am sure I could not be deceived {para} All this thought Elinor is very pretty but it can impose upon neither of us {para} But what said she after a short silence are your views or have you none but that of waiting for Mrs Ferrars 's death which is a melancholy and shocking extremity Is her son determined to submit to this and to all the tediousness of the many years of suspense in which it may involve you rather than run the risk of her displeasure for a while by owning the truth {para} If we could be certain that it would be only for a while But Mrs Ferrars is a very headstrong proud woman and in her first fit of anger upon hearing it would very likely secure every thing to Robert and the idea of that for Edward 's sake frightens away all my inclination for hasty measures {para} And for your own sake too or you are carrying your disinterestedness beyond reason {para} Lucy looked at Elinor again and was silent {para} Do you know Mr Robert Ferrars asked Elinor {para} Not at all I never saw him but I fancy he is very unlike his brother silly and a great coxcomb {para} A great coxcomb repeated Miss Steele whose ear had caught those words by a sudden pause in Marianne 's music Oh they are talking of their favourite beaux I dare say {para} No sister cried Lucy you are mistaken there our favourite beaux are NOT great coxcombs {para} I can answer for it that Miss Dashwood 's is not said Mrs Jennings laughing heartily for he is one of the modestest prettiest behaved young men I ever saw but as for Lucy she is such a sly little creature there is no finding out who SHE likes {para} Oh cried Miss Steele looking significantly round at them I dare say Lucy 's beau is quite as modest and pretty behaved as Miss Dashwood 's {para} Elinor blushed in spite of herself Lucy bit her lip and looked angrily at her sister A mutual silence took place for some time Lucy first put an end to it by saying in a lower tone though Marianne was then giving them the powerful protection of a very magnificent concerto {para} I will honestly tell you of one scheme which has lately come into my head for bringing matters to bear indeed I am bound to let you into the secret for you are a party concerned I dare say you have seen enough of Edward to know that he would prefer the church to every other profession now my plan is that he should take orders as soon as he can and then through your interest which I am sure you would be kind enough to use out of friendship for him and I hope out of some regard to me your brother might be persuaded to give him Norland living which I understand is a very good one and the present incumbent not likely to live a great while That would be enough for us to marry upon and we might trust to time and chance for the rest {para} I should always be happy replied Elinor to show any mark of my esteem and friendship for Mr Ferrars but do you not perceive that my interest on such an occasion would be perfectly unnecessary He is brother to Mrs John Dashwood THAT must be recommendation enough to her husband {para} But Mrs John Dashwood would not much approve of Edward 's going into orders {para} Then I rather suspect that my interest would do very little {para} They were again silent for many minutes At length Lucy exclaimed with a deep sigh {para} I believe it would be the wisest way to put an end to the business at once by dissolving the engagement We seem so beset with difficulties on every side that though it would make us miserable for a time we should be happier perhaps in the end But you will not give me your advice Miss Dashwood {para} No answered Elinor with a smile which concealed very agitated feelings on such a subject I certainly will not You know very well that my opinion would have no weight with you unless it were on the side of your wishes {para} Indeed you wrong me replied Lucy with great solemnity I know nobody of whose judgment I think so highly as I do of yours and I do really believe that if you was to say to me I advise you by all means to put an end to your engagement with Edward Ferrars it will be more for the happiness of both of you I should resolve upon doing it immediately {para} Elinor blushed for the insincerity of Edward 's future wife and replied This compliment would effectually frighten me from giving any opinion on the subject had I formed one It raises my influence much too high the power of dividing two people so tenderly attached is too much for an indifferent person {para} Tis because you are an indifferent person said Lucy with some pique and laying a particular stress on those words that your judgment might justly have such weight with me If you could be supposed to be biased in any respect by your own feelings your opinion would not be worth having {para} Elinor thought it wisest to make no answer to this lest they might provoke each other to an unsuitable increase of ease and unreserve and was even partly determined never to mention the subject again Another pause therefore of many minutes duration succeeded this speech and Lucy was still the first to end it {para} Shall you be in town this winter Miss Dashwood said she with all her accustomary complacency {para} Certainly not {para} I am sorry for that returned the other while her eyes brightened at the information it would have gave me such pleasure to meet you there But I dare say you will go for all that To be sure your brother and sister will ask you to come to them {para} It will not be in my power to accept their invitation if they do {para} How unlucky that is I had quite depended upon meeting you there Anne and me are to go the latter end of January to some relations who have been wanting us to visit them these several years But I only go for the sake of seeing Edward He will be there in February otherwise London would have no charms for me I have not spirits for it {para} Elinor was soon called to the card table by the conclusion of the first rubber and the confidential discourse of the two ladies was therefore at an end to which both of them submitted without any reluctance for nothing had been said on either side to make them dislike each other less than they had done before and Elinor sat down to the card table with the melancholy persuasion that Edward was not only without affection for the person who was to be his wife but that he had not even the chance of being tolerably happy in marriage which sincere affection on HER side would have given for self interest alone could induce a woman to keep a man to an engagement of which she seemed so thoroughly aware that he was weary {para} From this time the subject was never revived by Elinor and when entered on by Lucy who seldom missed an opportunity of introducing it and was particularly careful to inform her confidante of her happiness whenever she received a letter from Edward it was treated by the former with calmness and caution and dismissed as soon as civility would allow for she felt such conversations to be an indulgence which Lucy did not deserve and which were dangerous to herself {para} The visit of the Miss Steeles at Barton Park was lengthened far beyond what the first invitation implied Their favour increased they could not be spared Sir John would not hear of their going and in spite of their numerous and long arranged engagements in Exeter in spite of the absolute necessity of returning to fulfill them immediately which was in full force at the end of every week they were prevailed on to stay nearly two months at the park and to assist in the due celebration of that festival which requires a more than ordinary share of private balls and large dinners to proclaim its importance {para} CHAPTER 25 {para} Though Mrs Jennings was in the habit of spending a large portion of the year at the houses of her children and friends she was not without a settled habitation of her own Since the death of her husband who had traded with success in a less elegant part of the town she had resided every winter in a house in one of the streets near Portman Square Towards this home she began on the approach of January to turn her thoughts and thither she one day abruptly and very unexpectedly by them asked the elder Misses Dashwood to accompany her Elinor without observing the varying complexion of her sister and the animated look which spoke no indifference to the plan immediately gave a grateful but absolute denial for both in which she believed herself to be speaking their united inclinations The reason alleged was their determined resolution of not leaving their mother at that time of the year Mrs Jennings received the refusal with some surprise and repeated her invitation immediately {para} Oh Lord I am sure your mother can spare you very well and I DO beg you will favour me with your company for I 've quite set my heart upon it Don't fancy that you will be any inconvenience to me for I shan't put myself at all out of my way for you It will only be sending Betty by the coach and I hope I can afford THAT We three shall be able to go very well in my chaise and when we are in town if you do not like to go wherever I do well and good you may always go with one of my daughters I am sure your mother will not object to it for I have had such good luck in getting my own children off my hands that she will think me a very fit person to have the charge of you and if I don't get one of you at least well married before I have done with you it shall not be my fault I shall speak a good word for you to all the young men you may depend upon it {para} I have a notion said Sir John that Miss Marianne would not object to such a scheme if her elder sister would come into it It is very hard indeed that she should not have a little pleasure because Miss Dashwood does not wish it So I would advise you two to set off for town when you are tired of Barton without saying a word to Miss Dashwood about it {para} Nay cried Mrs Jennings I am sure I shall be monstrous glad of Miss Marianne 's company whether Miss Dashwood will go or not only the more the merrier say I and I thought it would be more comfortable for them to be together because if they got tired of me they might talk to one another and laugh at my old ways behind my back But one or the other if not both of them I must have Lord bless me how do you think I can live poking by myself I who have been always used till this winter to have Charlotte with me Come Miss Marianne let us strike hands upon the bargain and if Miss Dashwood will change her mind by and bye why so much the better {para} I thank you ma'am sincerely thank you said Marianne with warmth your invitation has insured my gratitude for ever and it would give me such happiness yes almost the greatest happiness I am capable of to be able to accept it But my mother my dearest kindest mother I feel the justice of what Elinor has urged and if she were to be made less happy less comfortable by our absence Oh no nothing should tempt me to leave her It should not must not be a struggle {para} Mrs Jennings repeated her assurance that Mrs Dashwood could spare them perfectly well and Elinor who now understood her sister and saw to what indifference to almost every thing else she was carried by her eagerness to be with Willoughby again made no farther direct opposition to the plan and merely referred it to her mother 's decision from whom however she scarcely expected to receive any support in her endeavour to prevent a visit which she could not approve of for Marianne and which on her own account she had particular reasons to avoid Whatever Marianne was desirous of her mother would be eager to promote she could not expect to influence the latter to cautiousness of conduct in an affair respecting which she had never been able to inspire her with distrust and she dared not explain the motive of her own disinclination for going to London That Marianne fastidious as she was thoroughly acquainted with Mrs Jennings manners and invariably disgusted by them should overlook every inconvenience of that kind should disregard whatever must be most wounding to her irritable feelings in her pursuit of one object was such a proof so strong so full of the importance of that object to her as Elinor in spite of all that had passed was not prepared to witness {para} On being informed of the invitation Mrs Dashwood persuaded that such an excursion would be productive of much amusement to both her daughters and perceiving through all her affectionate attention to herself how much the heart of Marianne was in it would not hear of their declining the offer upon HER account insisted on their both accepting it directly and then began to foresee with her usual cheerfulness a variety of advantages that would accrue to them all from this separation {para} I am delighted with the plan she cried it is exactly what I could wish Margaret and I shall be as much benefited by it as yourselves When you and the Middletons are gone we shall go on so quietly and happily together with our books and our music You will find Margaret so improved when you come back again I have a little plan of alteration for your bedrooms too which may now be performed without any inconvenience to any one It is very right that you SHOULD go to town I would have every young woman of your condition in life acquainted with the manners and amusements of London You will be under the care of a motherly good sort of woman of whose kindness to you I can have no doubt And in all probability you will see your brother and whatever may be his faults or the faults of his wife when I consider whose son he is I cannot bear to have you so wholly estranged from each other {para} Though with your usual anxiety for our happiness said Elinor you have been obviating every impediment to the present scheme which occurred to you there is still one objection which in my opinion cannot be so easily removed {para} Marianne 's countenance sunk {para} And what said Mrs Dashwood is my dear prudent Elinor going to suggest What formidable obstacle is she now to bring forward Do let me hear a word about the expense of it {para} My objection is this though I think very well of Mrs Jennings 's heart she is not a woman whose society can afford us pleasure or whose protection will give us consequence {para} That is very true replied her mother but of her society separately from that of other people you will scarcely have any thing at all and you will almost always appear in public with Lady Middleton {para} If Elinor is frightened away by her dislike of Mrs Jennings said Marianne at least it need not prevent MY accepting her invitation I have no such scruples and I am sure I could put up with every unpleasantness of that kind with very little effort {para} Elinor could not help smiling at this display of indifference towards the manners of a person to whom she had often had difficulty in persuading Marianne to behave with tolerable politeness and resolved within herself that if her sister persisted in going she would go likewise as she did not think it proper that Marianne should be left to the sole guidance of her own judgment or that Mrs Jennings should be abandoned to the mercy of Marianne for all the comfort of her domestic hours To this determination she was the more easily reconciled by recollecting that Edward Ferrars by Lucy 's account was not to be in town before February and that their visit without any unreasonable abridgement might be previously finished {para} I will have you BOTH go said Mrs Dashwood these objections are nonsensical You will have much pleasure in being in London and especially in being together and if Elinor would ever condescend to anticipate enjoyment she would foresee it there from a variety of sources she would perhaps expect some from improving her acquaintance with her sister in law 's family {para} Elinor had often wished for an opportunity of attempting to weaken her mother 's dependence on the attachment of Edward and herself that the shock might be less when the whole truth were revealed and now on this attack though almost hopeless of success she forced herself to begin her design by saying as calmly as she could I like Edward Ferrars very much and shall always be glad to see him but as to the rest of the family it is a matter of perfect indifference to me whether I am ever known to them or not {para} Mrs Dashwood smiled and said nothing Marianne lifted up her eyes in astonishment and Elinor conjectured that she might as well have held her tongue {para} After very little farther discourse it was finally settled that the invitation should be fully accepted Mrs Jennings received the information with a great deal of joy and many assurances of kindness and care nor was it a matter of pleasure merely to her Sir John was delighted for to a man whose prevailing anxiety was the dread of being alone the acquisition of two to the number of inhabitants in London was something Even Lady Middleton took the trouble of being delighted which was putting herself rather out of her way and as for the Miss Steeles especially Lucy they had never been so happy in their lives as this intelligence made them {para} Elinor submitted to the arrangement which counteracted her wishes with less reluctance than she had expected to feel With regard to herself it was now a matter of unconcern whether she went to town or not and when she saw her mother so thoroughly pleased with the plan and her sister exhilarated by it in look voice and manner restored to all her usual animation and elevated to more than her usual gaiety she could not be dissatisfied with the cause and would hardly allow herself to distrust the consequence {para} Marianne 's joy was almost a degree beyond happiness so great was the perturbation of her spirits and her impatience to be gone Her unwillingness to quit her mother was her only restorative to calmness and at the moment of parting her grief on that score was excessive Her mother 's affliction was hardly less and Elinor was the only one of the three who seemed to consider the separation as any thing short of eternal {para} Their departure took place in the first week in January The Middletons were to follow in about a week The Miss Steeles kept their station at the park and were to quit it only with the rest of the family {para} CHAPTER 26 {para} Elinor could not find herself in the carriage with Mrs Jennings and beginning a journey to London under her protection and as her guest without wondering at her own situation so short had their acquaintance with that lady been so wholly unsuited were they in age and disposition and so many had been her objections against such a measure only a few days before But these objections had all with that happy ardour of youth which Marianne and her mother equally shared been overcome or overlooked and Elinor in spite of every occasional doubt of Willoughby 's constancy could not witness the rapture of delightful expectation which filled the whole soul and beamed in the eyes of Marianne without feeling how blank was her own prospect how cheerless her own state of mind in the comparison and how gladly she would engage in the solicitude of Marianne 's situation to have the same animating object in view the same possibility of hope A short a very short time however must now decide what Willoughby 's intentions were in all probability he was already in town Marianne 's eagerness to be gone declared her dependence on finding him there and Elinor was resolved not only upon gaining every new light as to his character which her own observation or the intelligence of others could give her but likewise upon watching his behaviour to her sister with such zealous attention as to ascertain what he was and what he meant before many meetings had taken place Should the result of her observations be unfavourable she was determined at all events to open the eyes of her sister should it be otherwise her exertions would be of a different nature she must then learn to avoid every selfish comparison and banish every regret which might lessen her satisfaction in the happiness of Marianne {para} They were three days on their journey and Marianne 's behaviour as they travelled was a happy specimen of what future complaisance and companionableness to Mrs Jennings might be expected to be She sat in silence almost all the way wrapt in her own meditations and scarcely ever voluntarily speaking except when any object of picturesque beauty within their view drew from her an exclamation of delight exclusively addressed to her sister To atone for this conduct therefore Elinor took immediate possession of the post of civility which she had assigned herself behaved with the greatest attention to Mrs Jennings talked with her laughed with her and listened to her whenever she could and Mrs Jennings on her side treated them both with all possible kindness was solicitous on every occasion for their ease and enjoyment and only disturbed that she could not make them choose their own dinners at the inn nor extort a confession of their preferring salmon to cod or boiled fowls to veal cutlets They reached town by three o'clock the third day glad to be released after such a journey from the confinement of a carriage and ready to enjoy all the luxury of a good fire {para} The house was handsome and handsomely fitted up and the young ladies were immediately put in possession of a very comfortable apartment It had formerly been Charlotte 's and over the mantelpiece still hung a landscape in coloured silks of her performance in proof of her having spent seven years at a great school in town to some effect {para} As dinner was not to be ready in less than two hours from their arrival Elinor determined to employ the interval in writing to her mother and sat down for that purpose In a few moments Marianne did the same I am writing home Marianne said Elinor had not you better defer your letter for a day or two {para} I am NOT going to write to my mother replied Marianne hastily and as if wishing to avoid any farther inquiry Elinor said no more it immediately struck her that she must then be writing to Willoughby and the conclusion which as instantly followed was that however mysteriously they might wish to conduct the affair they must be engaged This conviction though not entirely satisfactory gave her pleasure and she continued her letter with greater alacrity Marianne 's was finished in a very few minutes in length it could be no more than a note it was then folded up sealed and directed with eager rapidity Elinor thought she could distinguish a large W in the direction and no sooner was it complete than Marianne ringing the bell requested the footman who answered it to get that letter conveyed for her to the two penny post This decided the matter at once {para} Her spirits still continued very high but there was a flutter in them which prevented their giving much pleasure to her sister and this agitation increased as the evening drew on She could scarcely eat any dinner and when they afterwards returned to the drawing room seemed anxiously listening to the sound of every carriage {para} It was a great satisfaction to Elinor that Mrs Jennings by being much engaged in her own room could see little of what was passing The tea things were brought in and already had Marianne been disappointed more than once by a rap at a neighbouring door when a loud one was suddenly heard which could not be mistaken for one at any other house Elinor felt secure of its announcing Willoughby 's approach and Marianne starting up moved towards the door Every thing was silent this could not be borne many seconds she opened the door advanced a few steps towards the stairs and after listening half a minute returned into the room in all the agitation which a conviction of having heard him would naturally produce in the ecstasy of her feelings at that instant she could not help exclaiming Oh Elinor it is Willoughby indeed it is and seemed almost ready to throw herself into his arms when Colonel Brandon appeared {para} It was too great a shock to be borne with calmness and she immediately left the room Elinor was disappointed too but at the same time her regard for Colonel Brandon ensured his welcome with her and she felt particularly hurt that a man so partial to her sister should perceive that she experienced nothing but grief and disappointment in seeing him She instantly saw that it was not unnoticed by him that he even observed Marianne as she quitted the room with such astonishment and concern as hardly left him the recollection of what civility demanded towards herself {para} Is your sister ill said he {para} Elinor answered in some distress that she was and then talked of head aches low spirits and over fatigues and of every thing to which she could decently attribute her sister 's behaviour {para} He heard her with the most earnest attention but seeming to recollect himself said no more on the subject and began directly to speak of his pleasure at seeing them in London making the usual inquiries about their journey and the friends they had left behind {para} In this calm kind of way with very little interest on either side they continued to talk both of them out of spirits and the thoughts of both engaged elsewhere Elinor wished very much to ask whether Willoughby were then in town but she was afraid of giving him pain by any enquiry after his rival and at length by way of saying something she asked if he had been in London ever since she had seen him last Yes he replied with some embarrassment almost ever since I have been once or twice at Delaford for a few days but it has never been in my power to return to Barton {para} This and the manner in which it was said immediately brought back to her remembrance all the circumstances of his quitting that place with the uneasiness and suspicions they had caused to Mrs Jennings and she was fearful that her question had implied much more curiosity on the subject than she had ever felt {para} Mrs Jennings soon came in Oh Colonel said she with her usual noisy cheerfulness I am monstrous glad to see you sorry I could not come before beg your pardon but I have been forced to look about me a little and settle my matters for it is a long while since I have been at home and you know one has always a world of little odd things to do after one has been away for any time and then I have had Cartwright to settle with Lord I have been as busy as a bee ever since dinner But pray Colonel how came you to conjure out that I should be in town today {para} I had the pleasure of hearing it at Mr Palmer 's where I have been dining {para} Oh you did well and how do they all do at their house How does Charlotte do I warrant you she is a fine size by this time {para} Mrs Palmer appeared quite well and I am commissioned to tell you that you will certainly see her to morrow {para} Ay to be sure I thought as much Well Colonel I have brought two young ladies with me you see that is you see but one of them now but there is another somewhere Your friend Miss Marianne too which you will not be sorry to hear I do not know what you and Mr Willoughby will do between you about her Ay it is a fine thing to be young and handsome Well I was young once but I never was very handsome worse luck for me However I got a very good husband and I don't know what the greatest beauty can do more Ah poor man he has been dead these eight years and better But Colonel where have you been to since we parted And how does your business go on Come come let 's have no secrets among friends {para} He replied with his accustomary mildness to all her inquiries but without satisfying her in any Elinor now began to make the tea and Marianne was obliged to appear again {para} After her entrance Colonel Brandon became more thoughtful and silent than he had been before and Mrs Jennings could not prevail on him to stay long No other visitor appeared that evening and the ladies were unanimous in agreeing to go early to bed {para} Marianne rose the next morning with recovered spirits and happy looks The disappointment of the evening before seemed forgotten in the expectation of what was to happen that day They had not long finished their breakfast before Mrs Palmer 's barouche stopped at the door and in a few minutes she came laughing into the room so delighted to see them all that it was hard to say whether she received most pleasure from meeting her mother or the Miss Dashwoods again So surprised at their coming to town though it was what she had rather expected all along so angry at their accepting her mother 's invitation after having declined her own though at the same time she would never have forgiven them if they had not come {para} Mr Palmer will be so happy to see you said she What do you think he said when he heard of your coming with Mamma I forget what it was now but it was something so droll {para} After an hour or two spent in what her mother called comfortable chat or in other words in every variety of inquiry concerning all their acquaintance on Mrs Jennings 's side and in laughter without cause on Mrs Palmer 's it was proposed by the latter that they should all accompany her to some shops where she had business that morning to which Mrs Jennings and Elinor readily consented as having likewise some purchases to make themselves and Marianne though declining it at first was induced to go likewise {para} Wherever they went she was evidently always on the watch In Bond Street especially where much of their business lay her eyes were in constant inquiry and in whatever shop the party were engaged her mind was equally abstracted from every thing actually before them from all that interested and occupied the others Restless and dissatisfied every where her sister could never obtain her opinion of any article of purchase however it might equally concern them both she received no pleasure from anything was only impatient to be at home again and could with difficulty govern her vexation at the tediousness of Mrs Palmer whose eye was caught by every thing pretty expensive or new who was wild to buy all could determine on none and dawdled away her time in rapture and indecision {para} It was late in the morning before they returned home and no sooner had they entered the house than Marianne flew eagerly up stairs and when Elinor followed she found her turning from the table with a sorrowful countenance which declared that no Willoughby had been there {para} Has no letter been left here for me since we went out said she to the footman who then entered with the parcels She was answered in the negative Are you quite sure of it she replied Are you certain that no servant no porter has left any letter or note {para} The man replied that none had {para} How very odd said she in a low and disappointed voice as she turned away to the window {para} How odd indeed repeated Elinor within herself regarding her sister with uneasiness If she had not known him to be in town she would not have written to him as she did she would have written to Combe Magna and if he is in town how odd that he should neither come nor write Oh my dear mother you must be wrong in permitting an engagement between a daughter so young a man so little known to be carried on in so doubtful so mysterious a manner I long to inquire and how will MY interference be borne {para} She determined after some consideration that if appearances continued many days longer as unpleasant as they now were she would represent in the strongest manner to her mother the necessity of some serious enquiry into the affair {para} Mrs Palmer and two elderly ladies of Mrs Jennings 's intimate acquaintance whom she had met and invited in the morning dined with them The former left them soon after tea to fulfill her evening engagements and Elinor was obliged to assist in making a whist table for the others Marianne was of no use on these occasions as she would never learn the game but though her time was therefore at her own disposal the evening was by no means more productive of pleasure to her than to Elinor for it was spent in all the anxiety of expectation and the pain of disappointment She sometimes endeavoured for a few minutes to read but the book was soon thrown aside and she returned to the more interesting employment of walking backwards and forwards across the room pausing for a moment whenever she came to the window in hopes of distinguishing the long expected rap {para} CHAPTER 27 {para} If this open weather holds much longer said Mrs Jennings when they met at breakfast the following morning Sir John will not like leaving Barton next week tis a sad thing for sportsmen to lose a day 's pleasure Poor souls I always pity them when they do they seem to take it so much to heart {para} That is true cried Marianne in a cheerful voice and walking to the window as she spoke to examine the day I had not thought of that This weather will keep many sportsmen in the country {para} It was a lucky recollection all her good spirits were restored by it It is charming weather for THEM indeed she continued as she sat down to the breakfast table with a happy countenance How much they must enjoy it But with a little return of anxiety it cannot be expected to last long At this time of the year and after such a series of rain we shall certainly have very little more of it Frosts will soon set in and in all probability with severity In another day or two perhaps this extreme mildness can hardly last longer nay perhaps it may freeze tonight {para} At any rate said Elinor wishing to prevent Mrs Jennings from seeing her sister 's thoughts as clearly as she did I dare say we shall have Sir John and Lady Middleton in town by the end of next week {para} Ay my dear I 'll warrant you we do Mary always has her own way {para} And now silently conjectured Elinor she will write to Combe by this day 's post {para} But if she DID the letter was written and sent away with a privacy which eluded all her watchfulness to ascertain the fact Whatever the truth of it might be and far as Elinor was from feeling thorough contentment about it yet while she saw Marianne in spirits she could not be very uncomfortable herself And Marianne was in spirits happy in the mildness of the weather and still happier in her expectation of a frost {para} The morning was chiefly spent in leaving cards at the houses of Mrs Jennings 's acquaintance to inform them of her being in town and Marianne was all the time busy in observing the direction of the wind watching the variations of the sky and imagining an alteration in the air {para} Don't you find it colder than it was in the morning Elinor There seems to me a very decided difference I can hardly keep my hands warm even in my muff It was not so yesterday I think The clouds seem parting too the sun will be out in a moment and we shall have a clear afternoon {para} Elinor was alternately diverted and pained but Marianne persevered and saw every night in the brightness of the fire and every morning in the appearance of the atmosphere the certain symptoms of approaching frost {para} The Miss Dashwoods had no greater reason to be dissatisfied with Mrs Jennings 's style of living and set of acquaintance than with her behaviour to themselves which was invariably kind Every thing in her household arrangements was conducted on the most liberal plan and excepting a few old city friends whom to Lady Middleton 's regret she had never dropped she visited no one to whom an introduction could at all discompose the feelings of her young companions Pleased to find herself more comfortably situated in that particular than she had expected Elinor was very willing to compound for the want of much real enjoyment from any of their evening parties which whether at home or abroad formed only for cards could have little to amuse her {para} Colonel Brandon who had a general invitation to the house was with them almost every day he came to look at Marianne and talk to Elinor who often derived more satisfaction from conversing with him than from any other daily occurrence but who saw at the same time with much concern his continued regard for her sister She feared it was a strengthening regard It grieved her to see the earnestness with which he often watched Marianne and his spirits were certainly worse than when at Barton {para} About a week after their arrival it became certain that Willoughby was also arrived His card was on the table when they came in from the morning 's drive {para} Good God cried Marianne he has been here while we were out Elinor rejoiced to be assured of his being in London now ventured to say Depend upon it he will call again tomorrow But Marianne seemed hardly to hear her and on Mrs Jenning 's entrance escaped with the precious card {para} This event while it raised the spirits of Elinor restored to those of her sister all and more than all their former agitation From this moment her mind was never quiet the expectation of seeing him every hour of the day made her unfit for any thing She insisted on being left behind the next morning when the others went out {para} Elinor 's thoughts were full of what might be passing in Berkeley Street during their absence but a moment 's glance at her sister when they returned was enough to inform her that Willoughby had paid no second visit there A note was just then brought in and laid on the table {para} For me cried Marianne stepping hastily forward {para} No ma'am for my mistress {para} But Marianne not convinced took it instantly up {para} It is indeed for Mrs Jennings how provoking {para} You are expecting a letter then said Elinor unable to be longer silent {para} Yes a little not much {para} After a short pause You have no confidence in me Marianne {para} Nay Elinor this reproach from YOU you who have confidence in no one {para} Me returned Elinor in some confusion indeed Marianne I have nothing to tell {para} Nor I answered Marianne with energy our situations then are alike We have neither of us any thing to tell you because you do not communicate and I because I conceal nothing {para} Elinor distressed by this charge of reserve in herself which she was not at liberty to do away knew not how under such circumstances to press for greater openness in Marianne {para} Mrs Jennings soon appeared and the note being given her she read it aloud It was from Lady Middleton announcing their arrival in Conduit Street the night before and requesting the company of her mother and cousins the following evening Business on Sir John 's part and a violent cold on her own prevented their calling in Berkeley Street The invitation was accepted but when the hour of appointment drew near necessary as it was in common civility to Mrs Jennings that they should both attend her on such a visit Elinor had some difficulty in persuading her sister to go for still she had seen nothing of Willoughby and therefore was not more indisposed for amusement abroad than unwilling to run the risk of his calling again in her absence {para} Elinor found when the evening was over that disposition is not materially altered by a change of abode for although scarcely settled in town Sir John had contrived to collect around him nearly twenty young people and to amuse them with a ball This was an affair however of which Lady Middleton did not approve In the country an unpremeditated dance was very allowable but in London where the reputation of elegance was more important and less easily attained it was risking too much for the gratification of a few girls to have it known that Lady Middleton had given a small dance of eight or nine couple with two violins and a mere side board collation {para} Mr and Mrs Palmer were of the party from the former whom they had not seen before since their arrival in town as he was careful to avoid the appearance of any attention to his mother in law and therefore never came near her they received no mark of recognition on their entrance He looked at them slightly without seeming to know who they were and merely nodded to Mrs Jennings from the other side of the room Marianne gave one glance round the apartment as she entered it was enough HE was not there and she sat down equally ill disposed to receive or communicate pleasure After they had been assembled about an hour Mr Palmer sauntered towards the Miss Dashwoods to express his surprise on seeing them in town though Colonel Brandon had been first informed of their arrival at his house and he had himself said something very droll on hearing that they were to come {para} I thought you were both in Devonshire said he {para} Did you replied Elinor {para} When do you go back again {para} I do not know And thus ended their discourse {para} Never had Marianne been so unwilling to dance in her life as she was that evening and never so much fatigued by the exercise She complained of it as they returned to Berkeley Street {para} Aye aye said Mrs Jennings we know the reason of all that very well if a certain person who shall be nameless had been there you would not have been a bit tired and to say the truth it was not very pretty of him not to give you the meeting when he was invited {para} Invited cried Marianne {para} So my daughter Middleton told me for it seems Sir John met him somewhere in the street this morning Marianne said no more but looked exceedingly hurt Impatient in this situation to be doing something that might lead to her sister 's relief Elinor resolved to write the next morning to her mother and hoped by awakening her fears for the health of Marianne to procure those inquiries which had been so long delayed and she was still more eagerly bent on this measure by perceiving after breakfast on the morrow that Marianne was again writing to Willoughby for she could not suppose it to be to any other person {para} About the middle of the day Mrs Jennings went out by herself on business and Elinor began her letter directly while Marianne too restless for employment too anxious for conversation walked from one window to the other or sat down by the fire in melancholy meditation Elinor was very earnest in her application to her mother relating all that had passed her suspicions of Willoughby 's inconstancy urging her by every plea of duty and affection to demand from Marianne an account of her real situation with respect to him {para} Her letter was scarcely finished when a rap foretold a visitor and Colonel Brandon was announced Marianne who had seen him from the window and who hated company of any kind left the room before he entered it He looked more than usually grave and though expressing satisfaction at finding Miss Dashwood alone as if he had somewhat in particular to tell her sat for some time without saying a word Elinor persuaded that he had some communication to make in which her sister was concerned impatiently expected its opening It was not the first time of her feeling the same kind of conviction for more than once before beginning with the observation of your sister looks unwell to day or your sister seems out of spirits he had appeared on the point either of disclosing or of inquiring something particular about her After a pause of several minutes their silence was broken by his asking her in a voice of some agitation when he was to congratulate her on the acquisition of a brother Elinor was not prepared for such a question and having no answer ready was obliged to adopt the simple and common expedient of asking what he meant He tried to smile as he replied your sister 's engagement to Mr Willoughby is very generally known {para} It cannot be generally known returned Elinor for her own family do not know it {para} He looked surprised and said I beg your pardon I am afraid my inquiry has been impertinent but I had not supposed any secrecy intended as they openly correspond and their marriage is universally talked of {para} How can that be By whom can you have heard it mentioned {para} By many by some of whom you know nothing by others with whom you are most intimate Mrs Jennings Mrs Palmer and the Middletons But still I might not have believed it for where the mind is perhaps rather unwilling to be convinced it will always find something to support its doubts if I had not when the servant let me in today accidentally seen a letter in his hand directed to Mr Willoughby in your sister 's writing I came to inquire but I was convinced before I could ask the question Is every thing finally settled Is it impossible to But I have no right and I could have no chance of succeeding Excuse me Miss Dashwood I believe I have been wrong in saying so much but I hardly know what to do and on your prudence I have the strongest dependence Tell me that it is all absolutely resolved on that any attempt that in short concealment if concealment be possible is all that remains {para} These words which conveyed to Elinor a direct avowal of his love for her sister affected her very much She was not immediately able to say anything and even when her spirits were recovered she debated for a short time on the answer it would be most proper to give The real state of things between Willoughby and her sister was so little known to herself that in endeavouring to explain it she might be as liable to say too much as too little Yet as she was convinced that Marianne 's affection for Willoughby could leave no hope of Colonel Brandon 's success whatever the event of that affection might be and at the same time wished to shield her conduct from censure she thought it most prudent and kind after some consideration to say more than she really knew or believed She acknowledged therefore that though she had never been informed by themselves of the terms on which they stood with each other of their mutual affection she had no doubt and of their correspondence she was not astonished to hear {para} He listened to her with silent attention and on her ceasing to speak rose directly from his seat and after saying in a voice of emotion to your sister I wish all imaginable happiness to Willoughby that he may endeavour to deserve her took leave and went away {para} Elinor derived no comfortable feelings from this conversation to lessen the uneasiness of her mind on other points she was left on the contrary with a melancholy impression of Colonel Brandon 's unhappiness and was prevented even from wishing it removed by her anxiety for the very event that must confirm it {para} CHAPTER 28 {para} Nothing occurred during the next three or four days to make Elinor regret what she had done in applying to her mother for Willoughby neither came nor wrote They were engaged about the end of that time to attend Lady Middleton to a party from which Mrs Jennings was kept away by the indisposition of her youngest daughter and for this party Marianne wholly dispirited careless of her appearance and seeming equally indifferent whether she went or staid prepared without one look of hope or one expression of pleasure She sat by the drawing room fire after tea till the moment of Lady Middleton 's arrival without once stirring from her seat or altering her attitude lost in her own thoughts and insensible of her sister 's presence and when at last they were told that Lady Middleton waited for them at the door she started as if she had forgotten that any one was expected {para} They arrived in due time at the place of destination and as soon as the string of carriages before them would allow alighted ascended the stairs heard their names announced from one landing place to another in an audible voice and entered a room splendidly lit up quite full of company and insufferably hot When they had paid their tribute of politeness by curtsying to the lady of the house they were permitted to mingle in the crowd and take their share of the heat and inconvenience to which their arrival must necessarily add After some time spent in saying little or doing less Lady Middleton sat down to Cassino and as Marianne was not in spirits for moving about she and Elinor luckily succeeding to chairs placed themselves at no great distance from the table {para} They had not remained in this manner long before Elinor perceived Willoughby standing within a few yards of them in earnest conversation with a very fashionable looking young woman She soon caught his eye and he immediately bowed but without attempting to speak to her or to approach Marianne though he could not but see her and then continued his discourse with the same lady Elinor turned involuntarily to Marianne to see whether it could be unobserved by her At that moment she first perceived him and her whole countenance glowing with sudden delight she would have moved towards him instantly had not her sister caught hold of her {para} Good heavens she exclaimed he is there he is there Oh why does he not look at me why cannot I speak to him {para} Pray pray be composed cried Elinor and do not betray what you feel to every body present Perhaps he has not observed you yet {para} This however was more than she could believe herself and to be composed at such a moment was not only beyond the reach of Marianne it was beyond her wish She sat in an agony of impatience which affected every feature {para} At last he turned round again and regarded them both she started up and pronouncing his name in a tone of affection held out her hand to him He approached and addressing himself rather to Elinor than Marianne as if wishing to avoid her eye and determined not to observe her attitude inquired in a hurried manner after Mrs Dashwood and asked how long they had been in town Elinor was robbed of all presence of mind by such an address and was unable to say a word But the feelings of her sister were instantly expressed Her face was crimsoned over and she exclaimed in a voice of the greatest emotion Good God Willoughby what is the meaning of this Have you not received my letters Will you not shake hands with me {para} He could not then avoid it but her touch seemed painful to him and he held her hand only for a moment During all this time he was evidently struggling for composure Elinor watched his countenance and saw its expression becoming more tranquil After a moment 's pause he spoke with calmness {para} I did myself the honour of calling in Berkeley Street last Tuesday and very much regretted that I was not fortunate enough to find yourselves and Mrs Jennings at home My card was not lost I hope {para} But have you not received my notes cried Marianne in the wildest anxiety Here is some mistake I am sure some dreadful mistake What can be the meaning of it Tell me Willoughby for heaven 's sake tell me what is the matter {para} He made no reply his complexion changed and all his embarrassment returned but as if on catching the eye of the young lady with whom he had been previously talking he felt the necessity of instant exertion he recovered himself again and after saying Yes I had the pleasure of receiving the information of your arrival in town which you were so good as to send me turned hastily away with a slight bow and joined his friend {para} Marianne now looking dreadfully white and unable to stand sunk into her chair and Elinor expecting every moment to see her faint tried to screen her from the observation of others while reviving her with lavender water {para} Go to him Elinor she cried as soon as she could speak and force him to come to me Tell him I must see him again must speak to him instantly I cannot rest I shall not have a moment 's peace till this is explained some dreadful misapprehension or other Oh go to him this moment {para} How can that be done No my dearest Marianne you must wait This is not the place for explanations Wait only till tomorrow {para} With difficulty however could she prevent her from following him herself and to persuade her to check her agitation to wait at least with the appearance of composure till she might speak to him with more privacy and more effect was impossible for Marianne continued incessantly to give way in a low voice to the misery of her feelings by exclamations of wretchedness In a short time Elinor saw Willoughby quit the room by the door towards the staircase and telling Marianne that he was gone urged the impossibility of speaking to him again that evening as a fresh argument for her to be calm She instantly begged her sister would entreat Lady Middleton to take them home as she was too miserable to stay a minute longer {para} Lady Middleton though in the middle of a rubber on being informed that Marianne was unwell was too polite to object for a moment to her wish of going away and making over her cards to a friend they departed as soon the carriage could be found Scarcely a word was spoken during their return to Berkeley Street Marianne was in a silent agony too much oppressed even for tears but as Mrs Jennings was luckily not come home they could go directly to their own room where hartshorn restored her a little to herself She was soon undressed and in bed and as she seemed desirous of being alone her sister then left her and while she waited the return of Mrs Jennings had leisure enough for thinking over the past {para} That some kind of engagement had subsisted between Willoughby and Marianne she could not doubt and that Willoughby was weary of it seemed equally clear for however Marianne might still feed her own wishes SHE could not attribute such behaviour to mistake or misapprehension of any kind Nothing but a thorough change of sentiment could account for it Her indignation would have been still stronger than it was had she not witnessed that embarrassment which seemed to speak a consciousness of his own misconduct and prevented her from believing him so unprincipled as to have been sporting with the affections of her sister from the first without any design that would bear investigation Absence might have weakened his regard and convenience might have determined him to overcome it but that such a regard had formerly existed she could not bring herself to doubt {para} As for Marianne on the pangs which so unhappy a meeting must already have given her and on those still more severe which might await her in its probable consequence she could not reflect without the deepest concern Her own situation gained in the comparison for while she could ESTEEM Edward as much as ever however they might be divided in future her mind might be always supported But every circumstance that could embitter such an evil seemed uniting to heighten the misery of Marianne in a final separation from Willoughby in an immediate and irreconcilable rupture with him {para} CHAPTER 29 {para} Before the house maid had lit their fire the next day or the sun gained any power over a cold gloomy morning in January Marianne only half dressed was kneeling against one of the window seats for the sake of all the little light she could command from it and writing as fast as a continual flow of tears would permit her In this situation Elinor roused from sleep by her agitation and sobs first perceived her and after observing her for a few moments with silent anxiety said in a tone of the most considerate gentleness {para} Marianne may I ask {para} No Elinor she replied ask nothing you will soon know all {para} The sort of desperate calmness with which this was said lasted no longer than while she spoke and was immediately followed by a return of the same excessive affliction It was some minutes before she could go on with her letter and the frequent bursts of grief which still obliged her at intervals to withhold her pen were proofs enough of her feeling how more than probable it was that she was writing for the last time to Willoughby {para} Elinor paid her every quiet and unobtrusive attention in her power and she would have tried to sooth and tranquilize her still more had not Marianne entreated her with all the eagerness of the most nervous irritability not to speak to her for the world In such circumstances it was better for both that they should not be long together and the restless state of Marianne 's mind not only prevented her from remaining in the room a moment after she was dressed but requiring at once solitude and continual change of place made her wander about the house till breakfast time avoiding the sight of every body {para} At breakfast she neither ate nor attempted to eat any thing and Elinor 's attention was then all employed not in urging her not in pitying her nor in appearing to regard her but in endeavouring to engage Mrs Jenning 's notice entirely to herself {para} As this was a favourite meal with Mrs Jennings it lasted a considerable time and they were just setting themselves after it round the common working table when a letter was delivered to Marianne which she eagerly caught from the servant and turning of a death like paleness instantly ran out of the room Elinor who saw as plainly by this as if she had seen the direction that it must come from Willoughby felt immediately such a sickness at heart as made her hardly able to hold up her head and sat in such a general tremour as made her fear it impossible to escape Mrs Jenning 's notice That good lady however saw only that Marianne had received a letter from Willoughby which appeared to her a very good joke and which she treated accordingly by hoping with a laugh that she would find it to her liking Of Elinor 's distress she was too busily employed in measuring lengths of worsted for her rug to see any thing at all and calmly continuing her talk as soon as Marianne disappeared she said {para} Upon my word I never saw a young woman so desperately in love in my life MY girls were nothing to her and yet they used to be foolish enough but as for Miss Marianne she is quite an altered creature I hope from the bottom of my heart he won't keep her waiting much longer for it is quite grievous to see her look so ill and forlorn Pray when are they to be married {para} Elinor though never less disposed to speak than at that moment obliged herself to answer such an attack as this and therefore trying to smile replied And have you really Ma'am talked yourself into a persuasion of my sister 's being engaged to Mr Willoughby I thought it had been only a joke but so serious a question seems to imply more and I must beg therefore that you will not deceive yourself any longer I do assure you that nothing would surprise me more than to hear of their being going to be married {para} For shame for shame Miss Dashwood how can you talk so Don't we all know that it must be a match that they were over head and ears in love with each other from the first moment they met Did not I see them together in Devonshire every day and all day long and did not I know that your sister came to town with me on purpose to buy wedding clothes Come come this won't do Because you are so sly about it yourself you think nobody else has any senses but it is no such thing I can tell you for it has been known all over town this ever so long I tell every body of it and so does Charlotte {para} Indeed Ma'am said Elinor very seriously you are mistaken Indeed you are doing a very unkind thing in spreading the report and you will find that you have though you will not believe me now {para} Mrs Jennings laughed again but Elinor had not spirits to say more and eager at all events to know what Willoughby had written hurried away to their room where on opening the door she saw Marianne stretched on the bed almost choked by grief one letter in her hand and two or three others laying by her Elinor drew near but without saying a word and seating herself on the bed took her hand kissed her affectionately several times and then gave way to a burst of tears which at first was scarcely less violent than Marianne 's The latter though unable to speak seemed to feel all the tenderness of this behaviour and after some time thus spent in joint affliction she put all the letters into Elinor 's hands and then covering her face with her handkerchief almost screamed with agony Elinor who knew that such grief shocking as it was to witness it must have its course watched by her till this excess of suffering had somewhat spent itself and then turning eagerly to Willoughby 's letter read as follows {para} Bond Street January MY DEAR MADAM {para} I have just had the honour of receiving your letter for which I beg to return my sincere acknowledgments I am much concerned to find there was anything in my behaviour last night that did not meet your approbation and though I am quite at a loss to discover in what point I could be so unfortunate as to offend you I entreat your forgiveness of what I can assure you to have been perfectly unintentional I shall never reflect on my former acquaintance with your family in Devonshire without the most grateful pleasure and flatter myself it will not be broken by any mistake or misapprehension of my actions My esteem for your whole family is very sincere but if I have been so unfortunate as to give rise to a belief of more than I felt or meant to express I shall reproach myself for not having been more guarded in my professions of that esteem That I should ever have meant more you will allow to be impossible when you understand that my affections have been long engaged elsewhere and it will not be many weeks I believe before this engagement is fulfilled It is with great regret that I obey your commands in returning the letters with which I have been honoured from you and the lock of hair which you so obligingly bestowed on me {para} I am dear Madam Your most obedient humble servant JOHN WILLOUGHBY {para} With what indignation such a letter as this must be read by Miss Dashwood may be imagined Though aware before she began it that it must bring a confession of his inconstancy and confirm their separation for ever she was not aware that such language could be suffered to announce it nor could she have supposed Willoughby capable of departing so far from the appearance of every honourable and delicate feeling so far from the common decorum of a gentleman as to send a letter so impudently cruel a letter which instead of bringing with his desire of a release any professions of regret acknowledged no breach of faith denied all peculiar affection whatever a letter of which every line was an insult and which proclaimed its writer to be deep in hardened villainy {para} She paused over it for some time with indignant astonishment then read it again and again but every perusal only served to increase her abhorrence of the man and so bitter were her feelings against him that she dared not trust herself to speak lest she might wound Marianne still deeper by treating their disengagement not as a loss to her of any possible good but as an escape from the worst and most irremediable of all evils a connection for life with an unprincipled man as a deliverance the most real a blessing the most important {para} In her earnest meditations on the contents of the letter on the depravity of that mind which could dictate it and probably on the very different mind of a very different person who had no other connection whatever with the affair than what her heart gave him with every thing that passed Elinor forgot the immediate distress of her sister forgot that she had three letters on her lap yet unread and so entirely forgot how long she had been in the room that when on hearing a carriage drive up to the door she went to the window to see who could be coming so unreasonably early she was all astonishment to perceive Mrs Jennings 's chariot which she knew had not been ordered till one Determined not to quit Marianne though hopeless of contributing at present to her ease she hurried away to excuse herself from attending Mrs Jennings on account of her sister being indisposed Mrs Jennings with a thoroughly good humoured concern for its cause admitted the excuse most readily and Elinor after seeing her safe off returned to Marianne whom she found attempting to rise from the bed and whom she reached just in time to prevent her from falling on the floor faint and giddy from a long want of proper rest and food for it was many days since she had any appetite and many nights since she had really slept and now when her mind was no longer supported by the fever of suspense the consequence of all this was felt in an aching head a weakened stomach and a general nervous faintness A glass of wine which Elinor procured for her directly made her more comfortable and she was at last able to express some sense of her kindness by saying {para} Poor Elinor how unhappy I make you {para} I only wish replied her sister there were any thing I COULD do which might be of comfort to you {para} This as every thing else would have been was too much for Marianne who could only exclaim in the anguish of her heart Oh Elinor I am miserable indeed before her voice was entirely lost in sobs {para} Elinor could no longer witness this torrent of unresisted grief in silence {para} Exert yourself dear Marianne she cried if you would not kill yourself and all who love you Think of your mother think of her misery while YOU suffer for her sake you must exert yourself {para} I cannot I cannot cried Marianne leave me leave me if I distress you leave me hate me forget me but do not torture me so Oh how easy for those who have no sorrow of their own to talk of exertion Happy happy Elinor YOU cannot have an idea of what I suffer {para} Do you call ME happy Marianne Ah if you knew And can you believe me to be so while I see you so wretched {para} Forgive me forgive me throwing her arms round her sister 's neck I know you feel for me I know what a heart you have but yet you are you must be happy Edward loves you what oh what can do away such happiness as that {para} Many many circumstances said Elinor solemnly {para} No no no cried Marianne wildly he loves you and only you You CAN have no grief {para} I can have no pleasure while I see you in this state {para} And you will never see me otherwise Mine is a misery which nothing can do away {para} You must not talk so Marianne Have you no comforts no friends Is your loss such as leaves no opening for consolation Much as you suffer now think of what you would have suffered if the discovery of his character had been delayed to a later period if your engagement had been carried on for months and months as it might have been before he chose to put an end to it Every additional day of unhappy confidence on your side would have made the blow more dreadful {para} Engagement cried Marianne there has been no engagement {para} No engagement {para} No he is not so unworthy as you believe him He has broken no faith with me {para} But he told you that he loved you {para} Yes no never absolutely It was every day implied but never professedly declared Sometimes I thought it had been but it never was {para} Yet you wrote to him {para} Yes could that be wrong after all that had passed But I cannot talk {para} Elinor said no more and turning again to the three letters which now raised a much stronger curiosity than before directly ran over the contents of all The first which was what her sister had sent him on their arrival in town was to this effect {para} Berkeley Street January {para} How surprised you will be Willoughby on receiving this and I think you will feel something more than surprise when you know that I am in town An opportunity of coming hither though with Mrs Jennings was a temptation we could not resist I wish you may receive this in time to come here to night but I will not depend on it At any rate I shall expect you to morrow For the present adieu {para} MD {para} Her second note which had been written on the morning after the dance at the Middletons was in these words {para} I cannot express my disappointment in having missed you the day before yesterday nor my astonishment at not having received any answer to a note which I sent you above a week ago I have been expecting to hear from you and still more to see you every hour of the day Pray call again as soon as possible and explain the reason of my having expected this in vain You had better come earlier another time because we are generally out by one We were last night at Lady Middleton 's where there was a dance I have been told that you were asked to be of the party But could it be so You must be very much altered indeed since we parted if that could be the case and you not there But I will not suppose this possible and I hope very soon to receive your personal assurance of its being otherwise {para} MD {para} The contents of her last note to him were these {para} What am I to imagine Willoughby by your behaviour last night Again I demand an explanation of it I was prepared to meet you with the pleasure which our separation naturally produced with the familiarity which our intimacy at Barton appeared to me to justify I was repulsed indeed I have passed a wretched night in endeavouring to excuse a conduct which can scarcely be called less than insulting but though I have not yet been able to form any reasonable apology for your behaviour I am perfectly ready to hear your justification of it You have perhaps been misinformed or purposely deceived in something concerning me which may have lowered me in your opinion Tell me what it is explain the grounds on which you acted and I shall be satisfied in being able to satisfy you It would grieve me indeed to be obliged to think ill of you but if I am to do it if I am to learn that you are not what we have hitherto believed you that your regard for us all was insincere that your behaviour to me was intended only to deceive let it be told as soon as possible My feelings are at present in a state of dreadful indecision I wish to acquit you but certainty on either side will be ease to what I now suffer If your sentiments are no longer what they were you will return my notes and the lock of my hair which is in your possession {para} MD {para} That such letters so full of affection and confidence could have been so answered Elinor for Willoughby 's sake would have been unwilling to believe But her condemnation of him did not blind her to the impropriety of their having been written at all and she was silently grieving over the imprudence which had hazarded such unsolicited proofs of tenderness not warranted by anything preceding and most severely condemned by the event when Marianne perceiving that she had finished the letters observed to her that they contained nothing but what any one would have written in the same situation {para} I felt myself she added to be as solemnly engaged to him as if the strictest legal covenant had bound us to each other {para} I can believe it said Elinor but unfortunately he did not feel the same {para} He DID feel the same Elinor for weeks and weeks he felt it I know he did Whatever may have changed him now and nothing but the blackest art employed against me can have done it I was once as dear to him as my own soul could wish This lock of hair which now he can so readily give up was begged of me with the most earnest supplication Had you seen his look his manner had you heard his voice at that moment Have you forgot the last evening of our being together at Barton The morning that we parted too When he told me that it might be many weeks before we met again his distress can I ever forget his distress {para} For a moment or two she could say no more but when this emotion had passed away she added in a firmer tone {para} Elinor I have been cruelly used but not by Willoughby {para} Dearest Marianne who but himself By whom can he have been instigated {para} By all the world rather than by his own heart I could rather believe every creature of my acquaintance leagued together to ruin me in his opinion than believe his nature capable of such cruelty This woman of whom he writes whoever she be or any one in short but your own dear self mama and Edward may have been so barbarous to bely me Beyond you three is there a creature in the world whom I would not rather suspect of evil than Willoughby whose heart I know so well {para} Elinor would not contend and only replied Whoever may have been so detestably your enemy let them be cheated of their malignant triumph my dear sister by seeing how nobly the consciousness of your own innocence and good intentions supports your spirits It is a reasonable and laudable pride which resists such malevolence {para} No no cried Marianne misery such as mine has no pride I care not who knows that I am wretched The triumph of seeing me so may be open to all the world Elinor Elinor they who suffer little may be proud and independent as they like may resist insult or return mortification but I cannot I must feel I must be wretched and they are welcome to enjoy the consciousness of it that can {para} But for my mother 's sake and mine {para} I would do more than for my own But to appear happy when I am so miserable Oh who can require it {para} Again they were both silent Elinor was employed in walking thoughtfully from the fire to the window from the window to the fire without knowing that she received warmth from one or discerning objects through the other and Marianne seated at the foot of the bed with her head leaning against one of its posts again took up Willoughby 's letter and after shuddering over every sentence exclaimed {para} It is too much Oh Willoughby Willoughby could this be yours Cruel cruel nothing can acquit you Elinor nothing can Whatever he might have heard against me ought he not to have suspended his belief ought he not to have told me of it to have given me the power of clearing myself The lock of hair repeating it from the letter which you so obligingly bestowed on me That is unpardonable Willoughby where was your heart when you wrote those words Oh barbarously insolent Elinor can he be justified {para} No Marianne in no possible way {para} And yet this woman who knows what her art may have been how long it may have been premeditated and how deeply contrived by her Who is she Who can she be Whom did I ever hear him talk of as young and attractive among his female acquaintance Oh no one no one he talked to me only of myself {para} Another pause ensued Marianne was greatly agitated and it ended thus {para} Elinor I must go home I must go and comfort mama Can not we be gone to morrow {para} To morrow Marianne {para} Yes why should I stay here I came only for Willoughby 's sake and now who cares for me Who regards me {para} It would be impossible to go to morrow We owe Mrs Jennings much more than civility and civility of the commonest kind must prevent such a hasty removal as that {para} Well then another day or two perhaps but I cannot stay here long I cannot stay to endure the questions and remarks of all these people The Middletons and Palmers how am I to bear their pity The pity of such a woman as Lady Middleton Oh what would HE say to that {para} Elinor advised her to lie down again and for a moment she did so but no attitude could give her ease and in restless pain of mind and body she moved from one posture to another till growing more and more hysterical her sister could with difficulty keep her on the bed at all and for some time was fearful of being constrained to call for assistance Some lavender drops however which she was at length persuaded to take were of use and from that time till Mrs Jennings returned she continued on the bed quiet and motionless {para} CHAPTER 30 {para} Mrs Jennings came immediately to their room on her return and without waiting to have her request of admittance answered opened the door and walked in with a look of real concern {para} How do you do my dear said she in a voice of great compassion to Marianne who turned away her face without attempting to answer {para} How is she Miss Dashwood Poor thing she looks very bad No wonder Ay it is but too true He is to be married very soon a good for nothing fellow I have no patience with him Mrs Taylor told me of it half an hour ago and she was told it by a particular friend of Miss Grey herself else I am sure I should not have believed it and I was almost ready to sink as it was Well said I all I can say is that if this be true he has used a young lady of my acquaintance abominably ill and I wish with all my soul his wife may plague his heart out And so I shall always say my dear you may depend on it I have no notion of men 's going on in this way and if ever I meet him again I will give him such a dressing as he has not had this many a day But there is one comfort my dear Miss Marianne he is not the only young man in the world worth having and with your pretty face you will never want admirers Well poor thing I won't disturb her any longer for she had better have her cry out at once and have done with The Parrys and Sandersons luckily are coming tonight you know and that will amuse her {para} She then went away walking on tiptoe out of the room as if she supposed her young friend 's affliction could be increased by noise {para} Marianne to the surprise of her sister determined on dining with them Elinor even advised her against it But no she would go down she could bear it very well and the bustle about her would be less Elinor pleased to have her governed for a moment by such a motive though believing it hardly possible that she could sit out the dinner said no more and adjusting her dress for her as well as she could while Marianne still remained on the bed was ready to assist her into the dining room as soon as they were summoned to it {para} When there though looking most wretchedly she ate more and was calmer than her sister had expected Had she tried to speak or had she been conscious of half Mrs Jennings 's well meant but ill judged attentions to her this calmness could not have been maintained but not a syllable escaped her lips and the abstraction of her thoughts preserved her in ignorance of every thing that was passing before her {para} Elinor who did justice to Mrs Jennings 's kindness though its effusions were often distressing and sometimes almost ridiculous made her those acknowledgments and returned her those civilities which her sister could not make or return for herself Their good friend saw that Marianne was unhappy and felt that every thing was due to her which might make her at all less so She treated her therefore with all the indulgent fondness of a parent towards a favourite child on the last day of its holidays Marianne was to have the best place by the fire was to be tempted to eat by every delicacy in the house and to be amused by the relation of all the news of the day Had not Elinor in the sad countenance of her sister seen a check to all mirth she could have been entertained by Mrs Jennings 's endeavours to cure a disappointment in love by a variety of sweetmeats and olives and a good fire As soon however as the consciousness of all this was forced by continual repetition on Marianne she could stay no longer With a hasty exclamation of Misery and a sign to her sister not to follow her she directly got up and hurried out of the room {para} Poor soul cried Mrs Jennings as soon as she was gone how it grieves me to see her And I declare if she is not gone away without finishing her wine And the dried cherries too Lord nothing seems to do her any good I am sure if I knew of any thing she would like I would send all over the town for it Well it is the oddest thing to me that a man should use such a pretty girl so ill But when there is plenty of money on one side and next to none on the other Lord bless you they care no more about such things {para} The lady then Miss Grey I think you called her is very rich {para} Fifty thousand pounds my dear Did you ever see her a smart stylish girl they say but not handsome I remember her aunt very well Biddy Henshawe she married a very wealthy man But the family are all rich together Fifty thousand pounds and by all accounts it won't come before it 's wanted for they say he is all to pieces No wonder dashing about with his curricle and hunters Well it don't signify talking but when a young man be who he will comes and makes love to a pretty girl and promises marriage he has no business to fly off from his word only because he grows poor and a richer girl is ready to have him Why don't he in such a case sell his horses let his house turn off his servants and make a thorough reform at once I warrant you Miss Marianne would have been ready to wait till matters came round But that won't do now a days nothing in the way of pleasure can ever be given up by the young men of this age {para} Do you know what kind of a girl Miss Grey is Is she said to be amiable {para} I never heard any harm of her indeed I hardly ever heard her mentioned except that Mrs Taylor did say this morning that one day Miss Walker hinted to her that she believed Mr and Mrs Ellison would not be sorry to have Miss Grey married for she and Mrs Ellison could never agree {para} And who are the Ellisons {para} Her guardians my dear But now she is of age and may choose for herself and a pretty choice she has made What now after pausing a moment your poor sister is gone to her own room I suppose to moan by herself Is there nothing one can get to comfort her Poor dear it seems quite cruel to let her be alone Well by and by we shall have a few friends and that will amuse her a little What shall we play at She hates whist I know but is there no round game she cares for {para} Dear ma'am this kindness is quite unnecessary Marianne I dare say will not leave her room again this evening I shall persuade her if I can to go early to bed for I am sure she wants rest {para} Aye I believe that will be best for her Let her name her own supper and go to bed Lord no wonder she has been looking so bad and so cast down this last week or two for this matter I suppose has been hanging over her head as long as that And so the letter that came today finished it Poor soul I am sure if I had had a notion of it I would not have joked her about it for all my money But then you know how should I guess such a thing I made sure of its being nothing but a common love letter and you know young people like to be laughed at about them Lord how concerned Sir John and my daughters will be when they hear it If I had my senses about me I might have called in Conduit Street in my way home and told them of it But I shall see them tomorrow {para} It would be unnecessary I am sure for you to caution Mrs Palmer and Sir John against ever naming Mr Willoughby or making the slightest allusion to what has passed before my sister Their own good nature must point out to them the real cruelty of appearing to know any thing about it when she is present and the less that may ever be said to myself on the subject the more my feelings will be spared as you my dear madam will easily believe {para} Oh Lord yes that I do indeed It must be terrible for you to hear it talked of and as for your sister I am sure I would not mention a word about it to her for the world You saw I did not all dinner time No more would Sir John nor my daughters for they are all very thoughtful and considerate especially if I give them a hint as I certainly will For my part I think the less that is said about such things the better the sooner tis blown over and forgot And what does talking ever do you know {para} In this affair it can only do harm more so perhaps than in many cases of a similar kind for it has been attended by circumstances which for the sake of every one concerned in it make it unfit to become the public conversation I must do THIS justice to Mr Willoughby he has broken no positive engagement with my sister {para} Law my dear Don't pretend to defend him No positive engagement indeed after taking her all over Allenham House and fixing on the very rooms they were to live in hereafter {para} Elinor for her sister 's sake could not press the subject farther and she hoped it was not required of her for Willoughby 's since though Marianne might lose much he could gain very little by the enforcement of the real truth After a short silence on both sides Mrs Jennings with all her natural hilarity burst forth again {para} Well my dear tis a true saying about an ill wind for it will be all the better for Colonel Brandon He will have her at last aye that he will Mind me now if they an't married by Mid summer Lord how he 'll chuckle over this news I hope he will come tonight It will be all to one a better match for your sister Two thousand a year without debt or drawback except the little love child indeed aye I had forgot her but she may be prenticed out at a small cost and then what does it signify Delaford is a nice place I can tell you exactly what I call a nice old fashioned place full of comforts and conveniences quite shut in with great garden walls that are covered with the best fruit trees in the country and such a mulberry tree in one corner Lord how Charlotte and I did stuff the only time we were there Then there is a dove cote some delightful stew ponds and a very pretty canal and every thing in short that one could wish for and moreover it is close to the church and only a quarter of a mile from the turnpike road so tis never dull for if you only go and sit up in an old yew arbour behind the house you may see all the carriages that pass along Oh tis a nice place A butcher hard by in the village and the parsonage house within a stone 's throw To my fancy a thousand times prettier than Barton Park where they are forced to send three miles for their meat and have not a neighbour nearer than your mother Well I shall spirit up the Colonel as soon as I can One shoulder of mutton you know drives another down If we CAN but put Willoughby out of her head {para} Ay if we can do THAT Ma'am said Elinor we shall do very well with or without Colonel Brandon And then rising she went away to join Marianne whom she found as she expected in her own room leaning in silent misery over the small remains of a fire which till Elinor 's entrance had been her only light {para} You had better leave me was all the notice that her sister received from her {para} I will leave you said Elinor if you will go to bed But this from the momentary perverseness of impatient suffering she at first refused to do Her sister 's earnest though gentle persuasion however soon softened her to compliance and Elinor saw her lay her aching head on the pillow and as she hoped in a way to get some quiet rest before she left her {para} In the drawing room whither she then repaired she was soon joined by Mrs Jennings with a wine glass full of something in her hand {para} My dear said she entering I have just recollected that I have some of the finest old Constantia wine in the house that ever was tasted so I have brought a glass of it for your sister My poor husband how fond he was of it Whenever he had a touch of his old colicky gout he said it did him more good than any thing else in the world Do take it to your sister {para} Dear Ma'am replied Elinor smiling at the difference of the complaints for which it was recommended how good you are But I have just left Marianne in bed and I hope almost asleep and as I think nothing will be of so much service to her as rest if you will give me leave I will drink the wine myself {para} Mrs Jennings though regretting that she had not been five minutes earlier was satisfied with the compromise and Elinor as she swallowed the chief of it reflected that though its effects on a colicky gout were at present of little importance to her its healing powers on a disappointed heart might be as reasonably tried on herself as on her sister {para} Colonel Brandon came in while the party were at tea and by his manner of looking round the room for Marianne Elinor immediately fancied that he neither expected nor wished to see her there and in short that he was already aware of what occasioned her absence Mrs Jennings was not struck by the same thought for soon after his entrance she walked across the room to the tea table where Elinor presided and whispered The Colonel looks as grave as ever you see He knows nothing of it do tell him my dear {para} He shortly afterwards drew a chair close to her 's and with a look which perfectly assured her of his good information inquired after her sister {para} Marianne is not well said she She has been indisposed all day and we have persuaded her to go to bed {para} Perhaps then he hesitatingly replied what I heard this morning may be there may be more truth in it than I could believe possible at first {para} What did you hear {para} That a gentleman whom I had reason to think in short that a man whom I KNEW to be engaged but how shall I tell you If you know it already as surely you must I may be spared {para} You mean answered Elinor with forced calmness Mr Willoughby 's marriage with Miss Grey Yes we DO know it all This seems to have been a day of general elucidation for this very morning first unfolded it to us Mr Willoughby is unfathomable Where did you hear it {para} In a stationer 's shop in Pall Mall where I had business Two ladies were waiting for their carriage and one of them was giving the other an account of the intended match in a voice so little attempting concealment that it was impossible for me not to hear all The name of Willoughby John Willoughby frequently repeated first caught my attention and what followed was a positive assertion that every thing was now finally settled respecting his marriage with Miss Grey it was no longer to be a secret it would take place even within a few weeks with many particulars of preparations and other matters One thing especially I remember because it served to identify the man still more as soon as the ceremony was over they were to go to Combe Magna his seat in Somersetshire My astonishment but it would be impossible to describe what I felt The communicative lady I learnt on inquiry for I stayed in the shop till they were gone was a Mrs Ellison and that as I have been since informed is the name of Miss Grey 's guardian {para} It is But have you likewise heard that Miss Grey has fifty thousand pounds In that if in any thing we may find an explanation {para} It may be so but Willoughby is capable at least I think he stopped a moment then added in a voice which seemed to distrust itself And your sister how did she {para} Her sufferings have been very severe I have only to hope that they may be proportionately short It has been it is a most cruel affliction Till yesterday I believe she never doubted his regard and even now perhaps but I am almost convinced that he never was really attached to her He has been very deceitful and in some points there seems a hardness of heart about him {para} Ah said Colonel Brandon there is indeed But your sister does not I think you said so she does not consider quite as you do {para} You know her disposition and may believe how eagerly she would still justify him if she could {para} He made no answer and soon afterwards by the removal of the tea things and the arrangement of the card parties the subject was necessarily dropped Mrs Jennings who had watched them with pleasure while they were talking and who expected to see the effect of Miss Dashwood 's communication in such an instantaneous gaiety on Colonel Brandon 's side as might have become a man in the bloom of youth of hope and happiness saw him with amazement remain the whole evening more serious and thoughtful than usual {para} CHAPTER XXXI {para} From a night of more sleep than she had expected Marianne awoke the next morning to the same consciousness of misery in which she had closed her eyes {para} Elinor encouraged her as much as possible to talk of what she felt and before breakfast was ready they had gone through the subject again and again and with the same steady conviction and affectionate counsel on Elinor 's side the same impetuous feelings and varying opinions on Marianne 's as before Sometimes she could believe Willoughby to be as unfortunate and as innocent as herself and at others lost every consolation in the impossibility of acquitting him At one moment she was absolutely indifferent to the observation of all the world at another she would seclude herself from it for ever and at a third could resist it with energy In one thing however she was uniform when it came to the point in avoiding where it was possible the presence of Mrs Jennings and in a determined silence when obliged to endure it Her heart was hardened against the belief of Mrs Jennings 's entering into her sorrows with any compassion {para} No no no it cannot be she cried she cannot feel Her kindness is not sympathy her good nature is not tenderness All that she wants is gossip and she only likes me now because I supply it {para} Elinor had not needed this to be assured of the injustice to which her sister was often led in her opinion of others by the irritable refinement of her own mind and the too great importance placed by her on the delicacies of a strong sensibility and the graces of a polished manner Like half the rest of the world if more than half there be that are clever and good Marianne with excellent abilities and an excellent disposition was neither reasonable nor candid She expected from other people the same opinions and feelings as her own and she judged of their motives by the immediate effect of their actions on herself Thus a circumstance occurred while the sisters were together in their own room after breakfast which sunk the heart of Mrs Jennings still lower in her estimation because through her own weakness it chanced to prove a source of fresh pain to herself though Mrs Jennings was governed in it by an impulse of the utmost goodwill {para} With a letter in her outstretched hand and countenance gaily smiling from the persuasion of bringing comfort she entered their room saying {para} Now my dear I bring you something that I am sure will do you good {para} Marianne heard enough In one moment her imagination placed before her a letter from Willoughby full of tenderness and contrition explanatory of all that had passed satisfactory convincing and instantly followed by Willoughby himself rushing eagerly into the room to inforce at her feet by the eloquence of his eyes the assurances of his letter The work of one moment was destroyed by the next The hand writing of her mother never till then unwelcome was before her and in the acuteness of the disappointment which followed such an ecstasy of more than hope she felt as if till that instant she had never suffered {para} The cruelty of Mrs Jennings no language within her reach in her moments of happiest eloquence could have expressed and now she could reproach her only by the tears which streamed from her eyes with passionate violence a reproach however so entirely lost on its object that after many expressions of pity she withdrew still referring her to the letter of comfort But the letter when she was calm enough to read it brought little comfort Willoughby filled every page Her mother still confident of their engagement and relying as warmly as ever on his constancy had only been roused by Elinor 's application to intreat from Marianne greater openness towards them both and this with such tenderness towards her such affection for Willoughby and such a conviction of their future happiness in each other that she wept with agony through the whole of it {para} All her impatience to be at home again now returned her mother was dearer to her than ever dearer through the very excess of her mistaken confidence in Willoughby and she was wildly urgent to be gone Elinor unable herself to determine whether it were better for Marianne to be in London or at Barton offered no counsel of her own except of patience till their mother 's wishes could be known and at length she obtained her sister 's consent to wait for that knowledge {para} Mrs Jennings left them earlier than usual for she could not be easy till the Middletons and Palmers were able to grieve as much as herself and positively refusing Elinor 's offered attendance went out alone for the rest of the morning Elinor with a very heavy heart aware of the pain she was going to communicate and perceiving by Marianne 's letter how ill she had succeeded in laying any foundation for it then sat down to write her mother an account of what had passed and entreat her directions for the future while Marianne who came into the drawing room on Mrs Jennings 's going away remained fixed at the table where Elinor wrote watching the advancement of her pen grieving over her for the hardship of such a task and grieving still more fondly over its effect on her mother {para} In this manner they had continued about a quarter of an hour when Marianne whose nerves could not then bear any sudden noise was startled by a rap at the door {para} Who can this be cried Elinor So early too I thought we HAD been safe {para} Marianne moved to the window {para} It is Colonel Brandon said she with vexation We are never safe from HIM {para} He will not come in as Mrs Jennings is from home {para} I will not trust to THAT retreating to her own room A man who has nothing to do with his own time has no conscience in his intrusion on that of others {para} The event proved her conjecture right though it was founded on injustice and error for Colonel Brandon DID come in and Elinor who was convinced that solicitude for Marianne brought him thither and who saw THAT solicitude in his disturbed and melancholy look and in his anxious though brief inquiry after her could not forgive her sister for esteeming him so lightly {para} I met Mrs Jennings in Bond Street said he after the first salutation and she encouraged me to come on and I was the more easily encouraged because I thought it probable that I might find you alone which I was very desirous of doing My object my wish my sole wish in desiring it I hope I believe it is is to be a means of giving comfort no I must not say comfort not present comfort but conviction lasting conviction to your sister 's mind My regard for her for yourself for your mother will you allow me to prove it by relating some circumstances which nothing but a VERY sincere regard nothing but an earnest desire of being useful I think I am justified though where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong He stopped {para} I understand you said Elinor You have something to tell me of Mr Willoughby that will open his character farther Your telling it will be the greatest act of friendship that can be shewn Marianne MY gratitude will be insured immediately by any information tending to that end and HERS must be gained by it in time Pray pray let me hear it {para} You shall and to be brief when I quitted Barton last October but this will give you no idea I must go farther back You will find me a very awkward narrator Miss Dashwood I hardly know where to begin A short account of myself I believe will be necessary and it SHALL be a short one On such a subject sighing heavily can I have little temptation to be diffuse {para} He stopt a moment for recollection and then with another sigh went on {para} You have probably entirely forgotten a conversation it is not to be supposed that it could make any impression on you a conversation between us one evening at Barton Park it was the evening of a dance in which I alluded to a lady I had once known as resembling in some measure your sister Marianne {para} Indeed answered Elinor I have NOT forgotten it He looked pleased by this remembrance and added {para} If I am not deceived by the uncertainty the partiality of tender recollection there is a very strong resemblance between them as well in mind as person The same warmth of heart the same eagerness of fancy and spirits This lady was one of my nearest relations an orphan from her infancy and under the guardianship of my father Our ages were nearly the same and from our earliest years we were playfellows and friends I cannot remember the time when I did not love Eliza and my affection for her as we grew up was such as perhaps judging from my present forlorn and cheerless gravity you might think me incapable of having ever felt Her 's for me was I believe fervent as the attachment of your sister to Mr Willoughby and it was though from a different cause no less unfortunate At seventeen she was lost to me for ever She was married married against her inclination to my brother Her fortune was large and our family estate much encumbered And this I fear is all that can be said for the conduct of one who was at once her uncle and guardian My brother did not deserve her he did not even love her I had hoped that her regard for me would support her under any difficulty and for some time it did but at last the misery of her situation for she experienced great unkindness overcame all her resolution and though she had promised me that nothing but how blindly I relate I have never told you how this was brought on We were within a few hours of eloping together for Scotland The treachery or the folly of my cousin 's maid betrayed us I was banished to the house of a relation far distant and she was allowed no liberty no society no amusement till my father 's point was gained I had depended on her fortitude too far and the blow was a severe one but had her marriage been happy so young as I then was a few months must have reconciled me to it or at least I should not have now to lament it This however was not the case My brother had no regard for her his pleasures were not what they ought to have been and from the first he treated her unkindly The consequence of this upon a mind so young so lively so inexperienced as Mrs Brandon 's was but too natural She resigned herself at first to all the misery of her situation and happy had it been if she had not lived to overcome those regrets which the remembrance of me occasioned But can we wonder that with such a husband to provoke inconstancy and without a friend to advise or restrain her for my father lived only a few months after their marriage and I was with my regiment in the East Indies she should fall Had I remained in England perhaps but I meant to promote the happiness of both by removing from her for years and for that purpose had procured my exchange The shock which her marriage had given me he continued in a voice of great agitation was of trifling weight was nothing to what I felt when I heard about two years afterwards of her divorce It was THAT which threw this gloom even now the recollection of what I suffered {para} He could say no more and rising hastily walked for a few minutes about the room Elinor affected by his relation and still more by his distress could not speak He saw her concern and coming to her took her hand pressed it and kissed it with grateful respect A few minutes more of silent exertion enabled him to proceed with composure {para} It was nearly three years after this unhappy period before I returned to England My first care when I DID arrive was of course to seek for her but the search was as fruitless as it was melancholy I could not trace her beyond her first seducer and there was every reason to fear that she had removed from him only to sink deeper in a life of sin Her legal allowance was not adequate to her fortune nor sufficient for her comfortable maintenance and I learnt from my brother that the power of receiving it had been made over some months before to another person He imagined and calmly could he imagine it that her extravagance and consequent distress had obliged her to dispose of it for some immediate relief At last however and after I had been six months in England I DID find her Regard for a former servant of my own who had since fallen into misfortune carried me to visit him in a spunging house where he was confined for debt and there the same house under a similar confinement was my unfortunate sister So altered so faded worn down by acute suffering of every kind hardly could I believe the melancholy and sickly figure before me to be the remains of the lovely blooming healthful girl on whom I had once doted What I endured in so beholding her but I have no right to wound your feelings by attempting to describe it I have pained you too much already That she was to all appearance in the last stage of a consumption was yes in such a situation it was my greatest comfort Life could do nothing for her beyond giving time for a better preparation for death and that was given I saw her placed in comfortable lodgings and under proper attendants I visited her every day during the rest of her short life I was with her in her last moments {para} Again he stopped to recover himself and Elinor spoke her feelings in an exclamation of tender concern at the fate of his unfortunate friend {para} Your sister I hope cannot be offended said he by the resemblance I have fancied between her and my poor disgraced relation Their fates their fortunes cannot be the same and had the natural sweet disposition of the one been guarded by a firmer mind or a happier marriage she might have been all that you will live to see the other be But to what does all this lead I seem to have been distressing you for nothing Ah Miss Dashwood a subject such as this untouched for fourteen years it is dangerous to handle it at all I WILL be more collected more concise She left to my care her only child a little girl the offspring of her first guilty connection who was then about three years old She loved the child and had always kept it with her It was a valued a precious trust to me and gladly would I have discharged it in the strictest sense by watching over her education myself had the nature of our situations allowed it but I had no family no home and my little Eliza was therefore placed at school I saw her there whenever I could and after the death of my brother which happened about five years ago and which left to me the possession of the family property she visited me at Delaford I called her a distant relation but I am well aware that I have in general been suspected of a much nearer connection with her It is now three years ago she had just reached her fourteenth year that I removed her from school to place her under the care of a very respectable woman residing in Dorsetshire who had the charge of four or five other girls of about the same time of life and for two years I had every reason to be pleased with her situation But last February almost a twelvemonth back she suddenly disappeared I had allowed her imprudently as it has since turned out at her earnest desire to go to Bath with one of her young friends who was attending her father there for his health I knew him to be a very good sort of man and I thought well of his daughter better than she deserved for with a most obstinate and ill judged secrecy she would tell nothing would give no clue though she certainly knew all He her father a well meaning but not a quick sighted man could really I believe give no information for he had been generally confined to the house while the girls were ranging over the town and making what acquaintance they chose and he tried to convince me as thoroughly as he was convinced himself of his daughter 's being entirely unconcerned in the business In short I could learn nothing but that she was gone all the rest for eight long months was left to conjecture What I thought what I feared may be imagined and what I suffered too {para} Good heavens cried Elinor could it be could Willoughby {para} The first news that reached me of her he continued came in a letter from herself last October It was forwarded to me from Delaford and I received it on the very morning of our intended party to Whitwell and this was the reason of my leaving Barton so suddenly which I am sure must at the time have appeared strange to every body and which I believe gave offence to some Little did Mr Willoughby imagine I suppose when his looks censured me for incivility in breaking up the party that I was called away to the relief of one whom he had made poor and miserable but HAD he known it what would it have availed Would he have been less gay or less happy in the smiles of your sister No he had already done that which no man who CAN feel for another would do He had left the girl whose youth and innocence he had seduced in a situation of the utmost distress with no creditable home no help no friends ignorant of his address He had left her promising to return he neither returned nor wrote nor relieved her {para} This is beyond every thing exclaimed Elinor {para} His character is now before you expensive dissipated and worse than both Knowing all this as I have now known it many weeks guess what I must have felt on seeing your sister as fond of him as ever and on being assured that she was to marry him guess what I must have felt for all your sakes When I came to you last week and found you alone I came determined to know the truth though irresolute what to do when it WAS known My behaviour must have seemed strange to you then but now you will comprehend it To suffer you all to be so deceived to see your sister but what could I do I had no hope of interfering with success and sometimes I thought your sister 's influence might yet reclaim him But now after such dishonorable usage who can tell what were his designs on her Whatever they may have been however she may now and hereafter doubtless WILL turn with gratitude towards her own condition when she compares it with that of my poor Eliza when she considers the wretched and hopeless situation of this poor girl and pictures her to herself with an affection for him so strong still as strong as her own and with a mind tormented by self reproach which must attend her through life Surely this comparison must have its use with her She will feel her own sufferings to be nothing They proceed from no misconduct and can bring no disgrace On the contrary every friend must be made still more her friend by them Concern for her unhappiness and respect for her fortitude under it must strengthen every attachment Use your own discretion however in communicating to her what I have told you You must know best what will be its effect but had I not seriously and from my heart believed it might be of service might lessen her regrets I would not have suffered myself to trouble you with this account of my family afflictions with a recital which may seem to have been intended to raise myself at the expense of others {para} Elinor 's thanks followed this speech with grateful earnestness attended too with the assurance of her expecting material advantage to Marianne from the communication of what had passed {para} I have been more pained said she by her endeavors to acquit him than by all the rest for it irritates her mind more than the most perfect conviction of his unworthiness can do Now though at first she will suffer much I am sure she will soon become easier Have you she continued after a short silence ever seen Mr Willoughby since you left him at Barton {para} Yes he replied gravely once I have One meeting was unavoidable {para} Elinor startled by his manner looked at him anxiously saying {para} What have you met him to {para} I could meet him no other way Eliza had confessed to me though most reluctantly the name of her lover and when he returned to town which was within a fortnight after myself we met by appointment he to defend I to punish his conduct We returned unwounded and the meeting therefore never got abroad {para} Elinor sighed over the fancied necessity of this but to a man and a soldier she presumed not to censure it {para} Such said Colonel Brandon after a pause has been the unhappy resemblance between the fate of mother and daughter and so imperfectly have I discharged my trust {para} Is she still in town {para} No as soon as she recovered from her lying in for I found her near her delivery I removed her and her child into the country and there she remains {para} Recollecting soon afterwards that he was probably dividing Elinor from her sister he put an end to his visit receiving from her again the same grateful acknowledgments and leaving her full of compassion and esteem for him {para} CHAPTER 32 {para} When the particulars of this conversation were repeated by Miss Dashwood to her sister as they very soon were the effect on her was not entirely such as the former had hoped to see Not that Marianne appeared to distrust the truth of any part of it for she listened to it all with the most steady and submissive attention made neither objection nor remark attempted no vindication of Willoughby and seemed to shew by her tears that she felt it to be impossible But though this behaviour assured Elinor that the conviction of this guilt WAS carried home to her mind though she saw with satisfaction the effect of it in her no longer avoiding Colonel Brandon when he called in her speaking to him even voluntarily speaking with a kind of compassionate respect and though she saw her spirits less violently irritated than before she did not see her less wretched Her mind did become settled but it was settled in a gloomy dejection She felt the loss of Willoughby 's character yet more heavily than she had felt the loss of his heart his seduction and desertion of Miss Williams the misery of that poor girl and the doubt of what his designs might ONCE have been on herself preyed altogether so much on her spirits that she could not bring herself to speak of what she felt even to Elinor and brooding over her sorrows in silence gave more pain to her sister than could have been communicated by the most open and most frequent confession of them {para} To give the feelings or the language of Mrs Dashwood on receiving and answering Elinor 's letter would be only to give a repetition of what her daughters had already felt and said of a disappointment hardly less painful than Marianne 's and an indignation even greater than Elinor 's Long letters from her quickly succeeding each other arrived to tell all that she suffered and thought to express her anxious solicitude for Marianne and entreat she would bear up with fortitude under this misfortune Bad indeed must the nature of Marianne 's affliction be when her mother could talk of fortitude mortifying and humiliating must be the origin of those regrets which SHE could wish her not to indulge {para} Against the interest of her own individual comfort Mrs Dashwood had determined that it would be better for Marianne to be any where at that time than at Barton where every thing within her view would be bringing back the past in the strongest and most afflicting manner by constantly placing Willoughby before her such as she had always seen him there She recommended it to her daughters therefore by all means not to shorten their visit to Mrs Jennings the length of which though never exactly fixed had been expected by all to comprise at least five or six weeks A variety of occupations of objects and of company which could not be procured at Barton would be inevitable there and might yet she hoped cheat Marianne at times into some interest beyond herself and even into some amusement much as the ideas of both might now be spurned by her {para} From all danger of seeing Willoughby again her mother considered her to be at least equally safe in town as in the country since his acquaintance must now be dropped by all who called themselves her friends Design could never bring them in each other 's way negligence could never leave them exposed to a surprise and chance had less in its favour in the crowd of London than even in the retirement of Barton where it might force him before her while paying that visit at Allenham on his marriage which Mrs Dashwood from foreseeing at first as a probable event had brought herself to expect as a certain one {para} She had yet another reason for wishing her children to remain where they were a letter from her son in law had told her that he and his wife were to be in town before the middle of February and she judged it right that they should sometimes see their brother {para} Marianne had promised to be guided by her mother 's opinion and she submitted to it therefore without opposition though it proved perfectly different from what she wished and expected though she felt it to be entirely wrong formed on mistaken grounds and that by requiring her longer continuance in London it deprived her of the only possible alleviation of her wretchedness the personal sympathy of her mother and doomed her to such society and such scenes as must prevent her ever knowing a moment 's rest {para} But it was a matter of great consolation to her that what brought evil to herself would bring good to her sister and Elinor on the other hand suspecting that it would not be in her power to avoid Edward entirely comforted herself by thinking that though their longer stay would therefore militate against her own happiness it would be better for Marianne than an immediate return into Devonshire {para} Her carefulness in guarding her sister from ever hearing Willoughby 's name mentioned was not thrown away Marianne though without knowing it herself reaped all its advantage for neither Mrs Jennings nor Sir John nor even Mrs Palmer herself ever spoke of him before her Elinor wished that the same forbearance could have extended towards herself but that was impossible and she was obliged to listen day after day to the indignation of them all {para} Sir John could not have thought it possible A man of whom he had always had such reason to think well Such a good natured fellow He did not believe there was a bolder rider in England It was an unaccountable business He wished him at the devil with all his heart He would not speak another word to him meet him where he might for all the world No not if it were to be by the side of Barton covert and they were kept watching for two hours together Such a scoundrel of a fellow such a deceitful dog It was only the last time they met that he had offered him one of Folly 's puppies and this was the end of it {para} Mrs Palmer in her way was equally angry She was determined to drop his acquaintance immediately and she was very thankful that she had never been acquainted with him at all She wished with all her heart Combe Magna was not so near Cleveland but it did not signify for it was a great deal too far off to visit she hated him so much that she was resolved never to mention his name again and she should tell everybody she saw how good for nothing he was {para} The rest of Mrs Palmer 's sympathy was shewn in procuring all the particulars in her power of the approaching marriage and communicating them to Elinor She could soon tell at what coachmaker 's the new carriage was building by what painter Mr Willoughby 's portrait was drawn and at what warehouse Miss Grey 's clothes might be seen {para} The calm and polite unconcern of Lady Middleton on the occasion was a happy relief to Elinor 's spirits oppressed as they often were by the clamorous kindness of the others It was a great comfort to her to be sure of exciting no interest in ONE person at least among their circle of friends a great comfort to know that there was ONE who would meet her without feeling any curiosity after particulars or any anxiety for her sister 's health {para} Every qualification is raised at times by the circumstances of the moment to more than its real value and she was sometimes worried down by officious condolence to rate good breeding as more indispensable to comfort than good nature {para} Lady Middleton expressed her sense of the affair about once every day or twice if the subject occurred very often by saying It is very shocking indeed and by the means of this continual though gentle vent was able not only to see the Miss Dashwoods from the first without the smallest emotion but very soon to see them without recollecting a word of the matter and having thus supported the dignity of her own sex and spoken her decided censure of what was wrong in the other she thought herself at liberty to attend to the interest of her own assemblies and therefore determined though rather against the opinion of Sir John that as Mrs Willoughby would at once be a woman of elegance and fortune to leave her card with her as soon as she married {para} Colonel Brandon 's delicate unobtrusive enquiries were never unwelcome to Miss Dashwood He had abundantly earned the privilege of intimate discussion of her sister 's disappointment by the friendly zeal with which he had endeavoured to soften it and they always conversed with confidence His chief reward for the painful exertion of disclosing past sorrows and present humiliations was given in the pitying eye with which Marianne sometimes observed him and the gentleness of her voice whenever though it did not often happen she was obliged or could oblige herself to speak to him THESE assured him that his exertion had produced an increase of good will towards himself and THESE gave Elinor hopes of its being farther augmented hereafter but Mrs Jennings who knew nothing of all this who knew only that the Colonel continued as grave as ever and that she could neither prevail on him to make the offer himself nor commission her to make it for him began at the end of two days to think that instead of Midsummer they would not be married till Michaelmas and by the end of a week that it would not be a match at all The good understanding between the Colonel and Miss Dashwood seemed rather to declare that the honours of the mulberry tree the canal and the yew arbour would all be made over to HER and Mrs Jennings had for some time ceased to think at all of Mrs Ferrars {para} Early in February within a fortnight from the receipt of Willoughby 's letter Elinor had the painful office of informing her sister that he was married She had taken care to have the intelligence conveyed to herself as soon as it was known that the ceremony was over as she was desirous that Marianne should not receive the first notice of it from the public papers which she saw her eagerly examining every morning {para} She received the news with resolute composure made no observation on it and at first shed no tears but after a short time they would burst out and for the rest of the day she was in a state hardly less pitiable than when she first learnt to expect the event {para} The Willoughbys left town as soon as they were married and Elinor now hoped as there could be no danger of her seeing either of them to prevail on her sister who had never yet left the house since the blow first fell to go out again by degrees as she had done before {para} About this time the two Miss Steeles lately arrived at their cousin 's house in Bartlett 's Buildings Holburn presented themselves again before their more grand relations in Conduit and Berkeley Streets and were welcomed by them all with great cordiality {para} Elinor only was sorry to see them Their presence always gave her pain and she hardly knew how to make a very gracious return to the overpowering delight of Lucy in finding her STILL in town {para} I should have been quite disappointed if I had not found you here STILL said she repeatedly with a strong emphasis on the word But I always thought I SHOULD I was almost sure you would not leave London yet awhile though you TOLD me you know at Barton that you should not stay above a MONTH But I thought at the time that you would most likely change your mind when it came to the point It would have been such a great pity to have went away before your brother and sister came And now to be sure you will be in no hurry to be gone I am amazingly glad you did not keep to YOUR WORD {para} Elinor perfectly understood her and was forced to use all her self command to make it appear that she did NOT {para} Well my dear said Mrs Jennings and how did you travel {para} Not in the stage I assure you replied Miss Steele with quick exultation we came post all the way and had a very smart beau to attend us Dr Davies was coming to town and so we thought we 'd join him in a post chaise and he behaved very genteelly and paid ten or twelve shillings more than we did {para} Oh oh cried Mrs Jennings very pretty indeed and the Doctor is a single man I warrant you {para} There now said Miss Steele affectedly simpering everybody laughs at me so about the Doctor and I cannot think why My cousins say they are sure I have made a conquest but for my part I declare I never think about him from one hour 's end to another Lord here comes your beau Nancy my cousin said t'other day when she saw him crossing the street to the house My beau indeed said I I cannot think who you mean The Doctor is no beau of mine {para} Aye aye that is very pretty talking but it won't do the Doctor is the man I see {para} No indeed replied her cousin with affected earnestness and I beg you will contradict it if you ever hear it talked of {para} Mrs Jennings directly gave her the gratifying assurance that she certainly would NOT and Miss Steele was made completely happy {para} I suppose you will go and stay with your brother and sister Miss Dashwood when they come to town said Lucy returning after a cessation of hostile hints to the charge {para} No I do not think we shall {para} Oh yes I dare say you will {para} Elinor would not humour her by farther opposition {para} What a charming thing it is that Mrs Dashwood can spare you both for so long a time together {para} Long a time indeed interposed Mrs Jennings Why their visit is but just begun {para} Lucy was silenced {para} I am sorry we cannot see your sister Miss Dashwood said Miss Steele I am sorry she is not well for Marianne had left the room on their arrival {para} You are very good My sister will be equally sorry to miss the pleasure of seeing you but she has been very much plagued lately with nervous head aches which make her unfit for company or conversation {para} Oh dear that is a great pity but such old friends as Lucy and me I think she might see US and I am sure we would not speak a word {para} Elinor with great civility declined the proposal Her sister was perhaps laid down upon the bed or in her dressing gown and therefore not able to come to them {para} Oh if that 's all cried Miss Steele we can just as well go and see HER {para} Elinor began to find this impertinence too much for her temper but she was saved the trouble of checking it by Lucy 's sharp reprimand which now as on many occasions though it did not give much sweetness to the manners of one sister was of advantage in governing those of the other {para} CHAPTER 33 {para} After some opposition Marianne yielded to her sister 's entreaties and consented to go out with her and Mrs Jennings one morning for half an hour She expressly conditioned however for paying no visits and would do no more than accompany them to Gray 's in Sackville Street where Elinor was carrying on a negotiation for the exchange of a few old fashioned jewels of her mother {para} When they stopped at the door Mrs Jennings recollected that there was a lady at the other end of the street on whom she ought to call and as she had no business at Gray 's it was resolved that while her young friends transacted their 's she should pay her visit and return for them {para} On ascending the stairs the Miss Dashwoods found so many people before them in the room that there was not a person at liberty to tend to their orders and they were obliged to wait All that could be done was to sit down at that end of the counter which seemed to promise the quickest succession one gentleman only was standing there and it is probable that Elinor was not without hope of exciting his politeness to a quicker despatch But the correctness of his eye and the delicacy of his taste proved to be beyond his politeness He was giving orders for a toothpick case for himself and till its size shape and ornaments were determined all of which after examining and debating for a quarter of an hour over every toothpick case in the shop were finally arranged by his own inventive fancy he had no leisure to bestow any other attention on the two ladies than what was comprised in three or four very broad stares a kind of notice which served to imprint on Elinor the remembrance of a person and face of strong natural sterling insignificance though adorned in the first style of fashion {para} Marianne was spared from the troublesome feelings of contempt and resentment on this impertinent examination of their features and on the puppyism of his manner in deciding on all the different horrors of the different toothpick cases presented to his inspection by remaining unconscious of it all for she was as well able to collect her thoughts within herself and be as ignorant of what was passing around her in Mr Gray 's shop as in her own bedroom {para} At last the affair was decided The ivory the gold and the pearls all received their appointment and the gentleman having named the last day on which his existence could be continued without the possession of the toothpick case drew on his gloves with leisurely care and bestowing another glance on the Miss Dashwoods but such a one as seemed rather to demand than express admiration walked off with a happy air of real conceit and affected indifference {para} Elinor lost no time in bringing her business forward was on the point of concluding it when another gentleman presented himself at her side She turned her eyes towards his face and found him with some surprise to be her brother {para} Their affection and pleasure in meeting was just enough to make a very creditable appearance in Mr Gray 's shop John Dashwood was really far from being sorry to see his sisters again it rather gave them satisfaction and his inquiries after their mother were respectful and attentive {para} Elinor found that he and Fanny had been in town two days {para} I wished very much to call upon you yesterday said he but it was impossible for we were obliged to take Harry to see the wild beasts at Exeter Exchange and we spent the rest of the day with Mrs Ferrars Harry was vastly pleased THIS morning I had fully intended to call on you if I could possibly find a spare half hour but one has always so much to do on first coming to town I am come here to bespeak Fanny a seal But tomorrow I think I shall certainly be able to call in Berkeley Street and be introduced to your friend Mrs Jennings I understand she is a woman of very good fortune And the Middletons too you must introduce me to THEM As my mother in law 's relations I shall be happy to show them every respect They are excellent neighbours to you in the country I understand {para} Excellent indeed Their attention to our comfort their friendliness in every particular is more than I can express {para} I am extremely glad to hear it upon my word extremely glad indeed But so it ought to be they are people of large fortune they are related to you and every civility and accommodation that can serve to make your situation pleasant might be reasonably expected And so you are most comfortably settled in your little cottage and want for nothing Edward brought us a most charming account of the place the most complete thing of its kind he said that ever was and you all seemed to enjoy it beyond any thing It was a great satisfaction to us to hear it I assure you {para} Elinor did feel a little ashamed of her brother and was not sorry to be spared the necessity of answering him by the arrival of Mrs Jennings 's servant who came to tell her that his mistress waited for them at the door {para} Mr Dashwood attended them down stairs was introduced to Mrs Jennings at the door of her carriage and repeating his hope of being able to call on them the next day took leave {para} His visit was duly paid He came with a pretence at an apology from their sister in law for not coming too but she was so much engaged with her mother that really she had no leisure for going any where Mrs Jennings however assured him directly that she should not stand upon ceremony for they were all cousins or something like it and she should certainly wait on Mrs John Dashwood very soon and bring her sisters to see her His manners to THEM though calm were perfectly kind to Mrs Jennings most attentively civil and on Colonel Brandon 's coming in soon after himself he eyed him with a curiosity which seemed to say that he only wanted to know him to be rich to be equally civil to HIM {para} After staying with them half an hour he asked Elinor to walk with him to Conduit Street and introduce him to Sir John and Lady Middleton The weather was remarkably fine and she readily consented As soon as they were out of the house his enquiries began {para} Who is Colonel Brandon Is he a man of fortune {para} Yes he has very good property in Dorsetshire {para} I am glad of it He seems a most gentlemanlike man and I think Elinor I may congratulate you on the prospect of a very respectable establishment in life {para} Me brother what do you mean {para} He likes you I observed him narrowly and am convinced of it What is the amount of his fortune {para} I believe about two thousand a year {para} Two thousand a year and then working himself up to a pitch of enthusiastic generosity he added Elinor I wish with all my heart it were TWICE as much for your sake {para} Indeed I believe you replied Elinor but I am very sure that Colonel Brandon has not the smallest wish of marrying ME {para} You are mistaken Elinor you are very much mistaken A very little trouble on your side secures him Perhaps just at present he may be undecided the smallness of your fortune may make him hang back his friends may all advise him against it But some of those little attentions and encouragements which ladies can so easily give will fix him in spite of himself And there can be no reason why you should not try for him It is not to be supposed that any prior attachment on your side in short you know as to an attachment of that kind it is quite out of the question the objections are insurmountable you have too much sense not to see all that Colonel Brandon must be the man and no civility shall be wanting on my part to make him pleased with you and your family It is a match that must give universal satisfaction In short it is a kind of thing that lowering his voice to an important whisper will be exceedingly welcome to ALL PARTIES Recollecting himself however he added That is I mean to say your friends are all truly anxious to see you well settled Fanny particularly for she has your interest very much at heart I assure you And her mother too Mrs Ferrars a very good natured woman I am sure it would give her great pleasure she said as much the other day {para} Elinor would not vouchsafe any answer {para} It would be something remarkable now he continued something droll if Fanny should have a brother and I a sister settling at the same time And yet it is not very unlikely {para} Is Mr Edward Ferrars said Elinor with resolution going to be married {para} It is not actually settled but there is such a thing in agitation He has a most excellent mother Mrs Ferrars with the utmost liberality will come forward and settle on him a thousand a year if the match takes place The lady is the Hon Miss Morton only daughter of the late Lord Morton with thirty thousand pounds A very desirable connection on both sides and I have not a doubt of its taking place in time A thousand a year is a great deal for a mother to give away to make over for ever but Mrs Ferrars has a noble spirit To give you another instance of her liberality The other day as soon as we came to town aware that money could not be very plenty with us just now she put bank notes into Fanny 's hands to the amount of two hundred pounds And extremely acceptable it is for we must live at a great expense while we are here {para} He paused for her assent and compassion and she forced herself to say {para} Your expenses both in town and country must certainly be considerable but your income is a large one {para} Not so large I dare say as many people suppose I do not mean to complain however it is undoubtedly a comfortable one and I hope will in time be better The enclosure of Norland Common now carrying on is a most serious drain And then I have made a little purchase within this half year East Kingham Farm you must remember the place where old Gibson used to live The land was so very desirable for me in every respect so immediately adjoining my own property that I felt it my duty to buy it I could not have answered it to my conscience to let it fall into any other hands A man must pay for his convenience and it HAS cost me a vast deal of money {para} More than you think it really and intrinsically worth {para} Why I hope not that I might have sold it again the next day for more than I gave but with regard to the purchase money I might have been very unfortunate indeed for the stocks were at that time so low that if I had not happened to have the necessary sum in my banker 's hands I must have sold out to very great loss {para} Elinor could only smile {para} Other great and inevitable expenses too we have had on first coming to Norland Our respected father as you well know bequeathed all the Stanhill effects that remained at Norland and very valuable they were to your mother Far be it from me to repine at his doing so he had an undoubted right to dispose of his own property as he chose but in consequence of it we have been obliged to make large purchases of linen china &c to supply the place of what was taken away You may guess after all these expenses how very far we must be from being rich and how acceptable Mrs Ferrars 's kindness is {para} Certainly said Elinor and assisted by her liberality I hope you may yet live to be in easy circumstances {para} Another year or two may do much towards it he gravely replied but however there is still a great deal to be done There is not a stone laid of Fanny 's green house and nothing but the plan of the flower garden marked out {para} Where is the green house to be {para} Upon the knoll behind the house The old walnut trees are all come down to make room for it It will be a very fine object from many parts of the park and the flower garden will slope down just before it and be exceedingly pretty We have cleared away all the old thorns that grew in patches over the brow {para} Elinor kept her concern and her censure to herself and was very thankful that Marianne was not present to share the provocation {para} Having now said enough to make his poverty clear and to do away the necessity of buying a pair of ear rings for each of his sisters in his next visit at Gray 's his thoughts took a cheerfuller turn and he began to congratulate Elinor on having such a friend as Mrs Jennings {para} She seems a most valuable woman indeed Her house her style of living all bespeak an exceeding good income and it is an acquaintance that has not only been of great use to you hitherto but in the end may prove materially advantageous Her inviting you to town is certainly a vast thing in your favour and indeed it speaks altogether so great a regard for you that in all probability when she dies you will not be forgotten She must have a great deal to leave {para} Nothing at all I should rather suppose for she has only her jointure which will descend to her children {para} But it is not to be imagined that she lives up to her income Few people of common prudence will do THAT and whatever she saves she will be able to dispose of {para} And do you not think it more likely that she should leave it to her daughters than to us {para} Her daughters are both exceedingly well married and therefore I cannot perceive the necessity of her remembering them farther Whereas in my opinion by her taking so much notice of you and treating you in this kind of way she has given you a sort of claim on her future consideration which a conscientious woman would not disregard Nothing can be kinder than her behaviour and she can hardly do all this without being aware of the expectation it raises {para} But she raises none in those most concerned Indeed brother your anxiety for our welfare and prosperity carries you too far {para} Why to be sure said he seeming to recollect himself people have little have very little in their power But my dear Elinor what is the matter with Marianne she looks very unwell has lost her colour and is grown quite thin Is she ill {para} She is not well she has had a nervous complaint on her for several weeks {para} I am sorry for that At her time of life any thing of an illness destroys the bloom for ever Her 's has been a very short one She was as handsome a girl last September as I ever saw and as likely to attract the man There was something in her style of beauty to please them particularly I remember Fanny used to say that she would marry sooner and better than you did not but what she is exceedingly fond of YOU but so it happened to strike her She will be mistaken however I question whether Marianne NOW will marry a man worth more than five or six hundred a year at the utmost and I am very much deceived if YOU do not do better Dorsetshire I know very little of Dorsetshire but my dear Elinor I shall be exceedingly glad to know more of it and I think I can answer for your having Fanny and myself among the earliest and best pleased of your visitors {para} Elinor tried very seriously to convince him that there was no likelihood of her marrying Colonel Brandon but it was an expectation of too much pleasure to himself to be relinquished and he was really resolved on seeking an intimacy with that gentleman and promoting the marriage by every possible attention He had just compunction enough for having done nothing for his sisters himself to be exceedingly anxious that everybody else should do a great deal and an offer from Colonel Brandon or a legacy from Mrs Jennings was the easiest means of atoning for his own neglect {para} They were lucky enough to find Lady Middleton at home and Sir John came in before their visit ended Abundance of civilities passed on all sides Sir John was ready to like anybody and though Mr Dashwood did not seem to know much about horses he soon set him down as a very good natured fellow while Lady Middleton saw enough of fashion in his appearance to think his acquaintance worth having and Mr Dashwood went away delighted with both {para} I shall have a charming account to carry to Fanny said he as he walked back with his sister Lady Middleton is really a most elegant woman Such a woman as I am sure Fanny will be glad to know And Mrs Jennings too an exceedingly well behaved woman though not so elegant as her daughter Your sister need not have any scruple even of visiting HER which to say the truth has been a little the case and very naturally for we only knew that Mrs Jennings was the widow of a man who had got all his money in a low way and Fanny and Mrs Ferrars were both strongly prepossessed that neither she nor her daughters were such kind of women as Fanny would like to associate with But now I can carry her a most satisfactory account of both {para} CHAPTER 34 {para} Mrs John Dashwood had so much confidence in her husband 's judgment that she waited the very next day both on Mrs Jennings and her daughter and her confidence was rewarded by finding even the former even the woman with whom her sisters were staying by no means unworthy her notice and as for Lady Middleton she found her one of the most charming women in the world {para} Lady Middleton was equally pleased with Mrs Dashwood There was a kind of cold hearted selfishness on both sides which mutually attracted them and they sympathised with each other in an insipid propriety of demeanor and a general want of understanding {para} The same manners however which recommended Mrs John Dashwood to the good opinion of Lady Middleton did not suit the fancy of Mrs Jennings and to HER she appeared nothing more than a little proud looking woman of uncordial address who met her husband 's sisters without any affection and almost without having anything to say to them for of the quarter of an hour bestowed on Berkeley Street she sat at least seven minutes and a half in silence {para} Elinor wanted very much to know though she did not chuse to ask whether Edward was then in town but nothing would have induced Fanny voluntarily to mention his name before her till able to tell her that his marriage with Miss Morton was resolved on or till her husband 's expectations on Colonel Brandon were answered because she believed them still so very much attached to each other that they could not be too sedulously divided in word and deed on every occasion The intelligence however which SHE would not give soon flowed from another quarter Lucy came very shortly to claim Elinor 's compassion on being unable to see Edward though he had arrived in town with Mr and Mrs Dashwood He dared not come to Bartlett 's Buildings for fear of detection and though their mutual impatience to meet was not to be told they could do nothing at present but write {para} Edward assured them himself of his being in town within a very short time by twice calling in Berkeley Street Twice was his card found on the table when they returned from their morning 's engagements Elinor was pleased that he had called and still more pleased that she had missed him {para} The Dashwoods were so prodigiously delighted with the Middletons that though not much in the habit of giving anything they determined to give them a dinner and soon after their acquaintance began invited them to dine in Harley Street where they had taken a very good house for three months Their sisters and Mrs Jennings were invited likewise and John Dashwood was careful to secure Colonel Brandon who always glad to be where the Miss Dashwoods were received his eager civilities with some surprise but much more pleasure They were to meet Mrs Ferrars but Elinor could not learn whether her sons were to be of the party The expectation of seeing HER however was enough to make her interested in the engagement for though she could now meet Edward 's mother without that strong anxiety which had once promised to attend such an introduction though she could now see her with perfect indifference as to her opinion of herself her desire of being in company with Mrs Ferrars her curiosity to know what she was like was as lively as ever {para} The interest with which she thus anticipated the party was soon afterwards increased more powerfully than pleasantly by her hearing that the Miss Steeles were also to be at it {para} So well had they recommended themselves to Lady Middleton so agreeable had their assiduities made them to her that though Lucy was certainly not so elegant and her sister not even genteel she was as ready as Sir John to ask them to spend a week or two in Conduit Street and it happened to be particularly convenient to the Miss Steeles as soon as the Dashwoods invitation was known that their visit should begin a few days before the party took place {para} Their claims to the notice of Mrs John Dashwood as the nieces of the gentleman who for many years had had the care of her brother might not have done much however towards procuring them seats at her table but as Lady Middleton 's guests they must be welcome and Lucy who had long wanted to be personally known to the family to have a nearer view of their characters and her own difficulties and to have an opportunity of endeavouring to please them had seldom been happier in her life than she was on receiving Mrs John Dashwood 's card {para} On Elinor its effect was very different She began immediately to determine that Edward who lived with his mother must be asked as his mother was to a party given by his sister and to see him for the first time after all that passed in the company of Lucy she hardly knew how she could bear it {para} These apprehensions perhaps were not founded entirely on reason and certainly not at all on truth They were relieved however not by her own recollection but by the good will of Lucy who believed herself to be inflicting a severe disappointment when she told her that Edward certainly would not be in Harley Street on Tuesday and even hoped to be carrying the pain still farther by persuading her that he was kept away by the extreme affection for herself which he could not conceal when they were together {para} The important Tuesday came that was to introduce the two young ladies to this formidable mother in law {para} Pity me dear Miss Dashwood said Lucy as they walked up the stairs together for the Middletons arrived so directly after Mrs Jennings that they all followed the servant at the same time There is nobody here but you that can feel for me I declare I can hardly stand Good gracious In a moment I shall see the person that all my happiness depends on that is to be my mother {para} Elinor could have given her immediate relief by suggesting the possibility of its being Miss Morton 's mother rather than her own whom they were about to behold but instead of doing that she assured her and with great sincerity that she did pity her to the utter amazement of Lucy who though really uncomfortable herself hoped at least to be an object of irrepressible envy to Elinor {para} Mrs Ferrars was a little thin woman upright even to formality in her figure and serious even to sourness in her aspect Her complexion was sallow and her features small without beauty and naturally without expression but a lucky contraction of the brow had rescued her countenance from the disgrace of insipidity by giving it the strong characters of pride and ill nature She was not a woman of many words for unlike people in general she proportioned them to the number of her ideas and of the few syllables that did escape her not one fell to the share of Miss Dashwood whom she eyed with the spirited determination of disliking her at all events {para} Elinor could not NOW be made unhappy by this behaviour A few months ago it would have hurt her exceedingly but it was not in Mrs Ferrars power to distress her by it now and the difference of her manners to the Miss Steeles a difference which seemed purposely made to humble her more only amused her She could not but smile to see the graciousness of both mother and daughter towards the very person for Lucy was particularly distinguished whom of all others had they known as much as she did they would have been most anxious to mortify while she herself who had comparatively no power to wound them sat pointedly slighted by both But while she smiled at a graciousness so misapplied she could not reflect on the mean spirited folly from which it sprung nor observe the studied attentions with which the Miss Steeles courted its continuance without thoroughly despising them all four {para} Lucy was all exultation on being so honorably distinguished and Miss Steele wanted only to be teazed about Dr Davis to be perfectly happy {para} The dinner was a grand one the servants were numerous and every thing bespoke the Mistress 's inclination for show and the Master 's ability to support it In spite of the improvements and additions which were making to the Norland estate and in spite of its owner having once been within some thousand pounds of being obliged to sell out at a loss nothing gave any symptom of that indigence which he had tried to infer from it no poverty of any kind except of conversation appeared but there the deficiency was considerable John Dashwood had not much to say for himself that was worth hearing and his wife had still less But there was no peculiar disgrace in this for it was very much the case with the chief of their visitors who almost all laboured under one or other of these disqualifications for being agreeable Want of sense either natural or improved want of elegance want of spirits or want of temper {para} When the ladies withdrew to the drawing room after dinner this poverty was particularly evident for the gentlemen HAD supplied the discourse with some variety the variety of politics inclosing land and breaking horses but then it was all over and one subject only engaged the ladies till coffee came in which was the comparative heights of Harry Dashwood and Lady Middleton 's second son William who were nearly of the same age {para} Had both the children been there the affair might have been determined too easily by measuring them at once but as Harry only was present it was all conjectural assertion on both sides and every body had a right to be equally positive in their opinion and to repeat it over and over again as often as they liked {para} The parties stood thus {para} The two mothers though each really convinced that her own son was the tallest politely decided in favour of the other {para} The two grandmothers with not less partiality but more sincerity were equally earnest in support of their own descendant {para} Lucy who was hardly less anxious to please one parent than the other thought the boys were both remarkably tall for their age and could not conceive that there could be the smallest difference in the world between them and Miss Steele with yet greater address gave it as fast as she could in favour of each {para} Elinor having once delivered her opinion on William 's side by which she offended Mrs Ferrars and Fanny still more did not see the necessity of enforcing it by any farther assertion and Marianne when called on for her 's offended them all by declaring that she had no opinion to give as she had never thought about it {para} Before her removing from Norland Elinor had painted a very pretty pair of screens for her sister in law which being now just mounted and brought home ornamented her present drawing room and these screens catching the eye of John Dashwood on his following the other gentlemen into the room were officiously handed by him to Colonel Brandon for his admiration {para} These are done by my eldest sister said he and you as a man of taste will I dare say be pleased with them I do not know whether you have ever happened to see any of her performances before but she is in general reckoned to draw extremely well {para} The Colonel though disclaiming all pretensions to connoisseurship warmly admired the screens as he would have done any thing painted by Miss Dashwood and on the curiosity of the others being of course excited they were handed round for general inspection Mrs Ferrars not aware of their being Elinor 's work particularly requested to look at them and after they had received gratifying testimony of Lady Middletons 's approbation Fanny presented them to her mother considerately informing her at the same time that they were done by Miss Dashwood {para} Hum said Mrs Ferrars very pretty and without regarding them at all returned them to her daughter {para} Perhaps Fanny thought for a moment that her mother had been quite rude enough for colouring a little she immediately said {para} They are very pretty ma'am an't they But then again the dread of having been too civil too encouraging herself probably came over her for she presently added {para} Do you not think they are something in Miss Morton 's style of painting Ma'am She DOES paint most delightfully How beautifully her last landscape is done {para} Beautifully indeed But SHE does every thing well {para} Marianne could not bear this She was already greatly displeased with Mrs Ferrars and such ill timed praise of another at Elinor 's expense though she had not any notion of what was principally meant by it provoked her immediately to say with warmth {para} This is admiration of a very particular kind what is Miss Morton to us who knows or who cares for her it is Elinor of whom WE think and speak {para} And so saying she took the screens out of her sister in law 's hands to admire them herself as they ought to be admired {para} Mrs Ferrars looked exceedingly angry and drawing herself up more stiffly than ever pronounced in retort this bitter philippic Miss Morton is Lord Morton 's daughter {para} Fanny looked very angry too and her husband was all in a fright at his sister 's audacity Elinor was much more hurt by Marianne 's warmth than she had been by what produced it but Colonel Brandon 's eyes as they were fixed on Marianne declared that he noticed only what was amiable in it the affectionate heart which could not bear to see a sister slighted in the smallest point {para} Marianne 's feelings did not stop here The cold insolence of Mrs Ferrars 's general behaviour to her sister seemed to her to foretell such difficulties and distresses to Elinor as her own wounded heart taught her to think of with horror and urged by a strong impulse of affectionate sensibility she moved after a moment to her sister 's chair and putting one arm round her neck and one cheek close to hers said in a low but eager voice {para} Dear dear Elinor don't mind them Don't let them make YOU unhappy {para} She could say no more her spirits were quite overcome and hiding her face on Elinor 's shoulder she burst into tears Every body 's attention was called and almost every body was concerned Colonel Brandon rose up and went to them without knowing what he did Mrs Jennings with a very intelligent Ah poor dear immediately gave her her salts and Sir John felt so desperately enraged against the author of this nervous distress that he instantly changed his seat to one close by Lucy Steele and gave her in a whisper a brief account of the whole shocking affair {para} In a few minutes however Marianne was recovered enough to put an end to the bustle and sit down among the rest though her spirits retained the impression of what had passed the whole evening {para} Poor Marianne said her brother to Colonel Brandon in a low voice as soon as he could secure his attention She has not such good health as her sister she is very nervous she has not Elinor 's constitution and one must allow that there is something very trying to a young woman who HAS BEEN a beauty in the loss of her personal attractions You would not think it perhaps but Marianne WAS remarkably handsome a few months ago quite as handsome as Elinor Now you see it is all gone {para} CHAPTER 35 {para} Elinor 's curiosity to see Mrs Ferrars was satisfied She had found in her every thing that could tend to make a farther connection between the families undesirable She had seen enough of her pride her meanness and her determined prejudice against herself to comprehend all the difficulties that must have perplexed the engagement and retarded the marriage of Edward and herself had he been otherwise free and she had seen almost enough to be thankful for her OWN sake that one greater obstacle preserved her from suffering under any other of Mrs Ferrars 's creation preserved her from all dependence upon her caprice or any solicitude for her good opinion Or at least if she did not bring herself quite to rejoice in Edward 's being fettered to Lucy she determined that had Lucy been more amiable she OUGHT to have rejoiced {para} She wondered that Lucy 's spirits could be so very much elevated by the civility of Mrs Ferrars that her interest and her vanity should so very much blind her as to make the attention which seemed only paid her because she was NOT ELINOR appear a compliment to herself or to allow her to derive encouragement from a preference only given her because her real situation was unknown But that it was so had not only been declared by Lucy 's eyes at the time but was declared over again the next morning more openly for at her particular desire Lady Middleton set her down in Berkeley Street on the chance of seeing Elinor alone to tell her how happy she was {para} The chance proved a lucky one for a message from Mrs Palmer soon after she arrived carried Mrs Jennings away {para} My dear friend cried Lucy as soon as they were by themselves I come to talk to you of my happiness Could anything be so flattering as Mrs Ferrars 's way of treating me yesterday So exceeding affable as she was You know how I dreaded the thoughts of seeing her but the very moment I was introduced there was such an affability in her behaviour as really should seem to say she had quite took a fancy to me Now was not it so You saw it all and was not you quite struck with it {para} She was certainly very civil to you {para} Civil Did you see nothing but only civility I saw a vast deal more Such kindness as fell to the share of nobody but me No pride no hauteur and your sister just the same all sweetness and affability {para} Elinor wished to talk of something else but Lucy still pressed her to own that she had reason for her happiness and Elinor was obliged to go on {para} Undoubtedly if they had known your engagement said she nothing could be more flattering than their treatment of you but as that was not the case {para} I guessed you would say so replied Lucy quickly but there was no reason in the world why Mrs Ferrars should seem to like me if she did not and her liking me is every thing You shan't talk me out of my satisfaction I am sure it will all end well and there will be no difficulties at all to what I used to think Mrs Ferrars is a charming woman and so is your sister They are both delightful women indeed I wonder I should never hear you say how agreeable Mrs Dashwood was {para} To this Elinor had no answer to make and did not attempt any {para} Are you ill Miss Dashwood you seem low you don't speak sure you an't well {para} I never was in better health {para} I am glad of it with all my heart but really you did not look it I should be sorry to have YOU ill you that have been the greatest comfort to me in the world Heaven knows what I should have done without your friendship {para} Elinor tried to make a civil answer though doubting her own success But it seemed to satisfy Lucy for she directly replied {para} Indeed I am perfectly convinced of your regard for me and next to Edward 's love it is the greatest comfort I have Poor Edward But now there is one good thing we shall be able to meet and meet pretty often for Lady Middleton 's delighted with Mrs Dashwood so we shall be a good deal in Harley Street I dare say and Edward spends half his time with his sister besides Lady Middleton and Mrs Ferrars will visit now and Mrs Ferrars and your sister were both so good to say more than once they should always be glad to see me They are such charming women I am sure if ever you tell your sister what I think of her you cannot speak too high {para} But Elinor would not give her any encouragement to hope that she SHOULD tell her sister Lucy continued {para} I am sure I should have seen it in a moment if Mrs Ferrars had took a dislike to me If she had only made me a formal courtesy for instance without saying a word and never after had took any notice of me and never looked at me in a pleasant way you know what I mean if I had been treated in that forbidding sort of way I should have gave it all up in despair I could not have stood it For where she DOES dislike I know it is most violent {para} Elinor was prevented from making any reply to this civil triumph by the door 's being thrown open the servant 's announcing Mr Ferrars and Edward 's immediately walking in {para} It was a very awkward moment and the countenance of each shewed that it was so They all looked exceedingly foolish and Edward seemed to have as great an inclination to walk out of the room again as to advance farther into it The very circumstance in its unpleasantest form which they would each have been most anxious to avoid had fallen on them They were not only all three together but were together without the relief of any other person The ladies recovered themselves first It was not Lucy 's business to put herself forward and the appearance of secrecy must still be kept up She could therefore only LOOK her tenderness and after slightly addressing him said no more {para} But Elinor had more to do and so anxious was she for his sake and her own to do it well that she forced herself after a moment 's recollection to welcome him with a look and manner that were almost easy and almost open and another struggle another effort still improved them She would not allow the presence of Lucy nor the consciousness of some injustice towards herself to deter her from saying that she was happy to see him and that she had very much regretted being from home when he called before in Berkeley Street She would not be frightened from paying him those attentions which as a friend and almost a relation were his due by the observant eyes of Lucy though she soon perceived them to be narrowly watching her {para} Her manners gave some re assurance to Edward and he had courage enough to sit down but his embarrassment still exceeded that of the ladies in a proportion which the case rendered reasonable though his sex might make it rare for his heart had not the indifference of Lucy 's nor could his conscience have quite the ease of Elinor 's {para} Lucy with a demure and settled air seemed determined to make no contribution to the comfort of the others and would not say a word and almost every thing that WAS said proceeded from Elinor who was obliged to volunteer all the information about her mother 's health their coming to town &c which Edward ought to have inquired about but never did {para} Her exertions did not stop here for she soon afterwards felt herself so heroically disposed as to determine under pretence of fetching Marianne to leave the others by themselves and she really did it and THAT in the handsomest manner for she loitered away several minutes on the landing place with the most high minded fortitude before she went to her sister When that was once done however it was time for the raptures of Edward to cease for Marianne 's joy hurried her into the drawing room immediately Her pleasure in seeing him was like every other of her feelings strong in itself and strongly spoken She met him with a hand that would be taken and a voice that expressed the affection of a sister {para} Dear Edward she cried this is a moment of great happiness This would almost make amends for every thing {para} Edward tried to return her kindness as it deserved but before such witnesses he dared not say half what he really felt Again they all sat down and for a moment or two all were silent while Marianne was looking with the most speaking tenderness sometimes at Edward and sometimes at Elinor regretting only that their delight in each other should be checked by Lucy 's unwelcome presence Edward was the first to speak and it was to notice Marianne 's altered looks and express his fear of her not finding London agree with her {para} Oh don't think of me she replied with spirited earnestness though her eyes were filled with tears as she spoke don't think of MY health Elinor is well you see That must be enough for us both {para} This remark was not calculated to make Edward or Elinor more easy nor to conciliate the good will of Lucy who looked up at Marianne with no very benignant expression {para} Do you like London said Edward willing to say any thing that might introduce another subject {para} Not at all I expected much pleasure in it but I have found none The sight of you Edward is the only comfort it has afforded and thank Heaven you are what you always were {para} She paused no one spoke {para} I think Elinor she presently added we must employ Edward to take care of us in our return to Barton In a week or two I suppose we shall be going and I trust Edward will not be very unwilling to accept the charge {para} Poor Edward muttered something but what it was nobody knew not even himself But Marianne who saw his agitation and could easily trace it to whatever cause best pleased herself was perfectly satisfied and soon talked of something else {para} We spent such a day Edward in Harley Street yesterday So dull so wretchedly dull But I have much to say to you on that head which cannot be said now {para} And with this admirable discretion did she defer the assurance of her finding their mutual relatives more disagreeable than ever and of her being particularly disgusted with his mother till they were more in private {para} But why were you not there Edward Why did you not come {para} I was engaged elsewhere {para} Engaged But what was that when such friends were to be met {para} Perhaps Miss Marianne cried Lucy eager to take some revenge on her you think young men never stand upon engagements if they have no mind to keep them little as well as great {para} Elinor was very angry but Marianne seemed entirely insensible of the sting for she calmly replied {para} Not so indeed for seriously speaking I am very sure that conscience only kept Edward from Harley Street And I really believe he HAS the most delicate conscience in the world the most scrupulous in performing every engagement however minute and however it may make against his interest or pleasure He is the most fearful of giving pain of wounding expectation and the most incapable of being selfish of any body I ever saw Edward it is so and I will say it What are you never to hear yourself praised Then you must be no friend of mine for those who will accept of my love and esteem must submit to my open commendation {para} The nature of her commendation in the present case however happened to be particularly ill suited to the feelings of two thirds of her auditors and was so very unexhilarating to Edward that he very soon got up to go away {para} Going so soon said Marianne my dear Edward this must not be {para} And drawing him a little aside she whispered her persuasion that Lucy could not stay much longer But even this encouragement failed for he would go and Lucy who would have outstaid him had his visit lasted two hours soon afterwards went away {para} What can bring her here so often said Marianne on her leaving them Could not she see that we wanted her gone how teazing to Edward {para} Why so we were all his friends and Lucy has been the longest known to him of any It is but natural that he should like to see her as well as ourselves {para} Marianne looked at her steadily and said You know Elinor that this is a kind of talking which I cannot bear If you only hope to have your assertion contradicted as I must suppose to be the case you ought to recollect that I am the last person in the world to do it I cannot descend to be tricked out of assurances that are not really wanted {para} She then left the room and Elinor dared not follow her to say more for bound as she was by her promise of secrecy to Lucy she could give no information that would convince Marianne and painful as the consequences of her still continuing in an error might be she was obliged to submit to it All that she could hope was that Edward would not often expose her or himself to the distress of hearing Marianne 's mistaken warmth nor to the repetition of any other part of the pain that had attended their recent meeting and this she had every reason to expect {para} CHAPTER 36 {para} Within a few days after this meeting the newspapers announced to the world that the lady of Thomas Palmer Esq was safely delivered of a son and heir a very interesting and satisfactory paragraph at least to all those intimate connections who knew it before {para} This event highly important to Mrs Jennings 's happiness produced a temporary alteration in the disposal of her time and influenced in a like degree the engagements of her young friends for as she wished to be as much as possible with Charlotte she went thither every morning as soon as she was dressed and did not return till late in the evening and the Miss Dashwoods at the particular request of the Middletons spent the whole of every day in every day in Conduit Street For their own comfort they would much rather have remained at least all the morning in Mrs Jennings 's house but it was not a thing to be urged against the wishes of everybody Their hours were therefore made over to Lady Middleton and the two Miss Steeles by whom their company in fact was as little valued as it was professedly sought {para} They had too much sense to be desirable companions to the former and by the latter they were considered with a jealous eye as intruding on THEIR ground and sharing the kindness which they wanted to monopolize Though nothing could be more polite than Lady Middleton 's behaviour to Elinor and Marianne she did not really like them at all Because they neither flattered herself nor her children she could not believe them good natured and because they were fond of reading she fancied them satirical perhaps without exactly knowing what it was to be satirical but THAT did not signify It was censure in common use and easily given {para} Their presence was a restraint both on her and on Lucy It checked the idleness of one and the business of the other Lady Middleton was ashamed of doing nothing before them and the flattery which Lucy was proud to think of and administer at other times she feared they would despise her for offering Miss Steele was the least discomposed of the three by their presence and it was in their power to reconcile her to it entirely Would either of them only have given her a full and minute account of the whole affair between Marianne and Mr Willoughby she would have thought herself amply rewarded for the sacrifice of the best place by the fire after dinner which their arrival occasioned But this conciliation was not granted for though she often threw out expressions of pity for her sister to Elinor and more than once dropt a reflection on the inconstancy of beaux before Marianne no effect was produced but a look of indifference from the former or of disgust in the latter An effort even yet lighter might have made her their friend Would they only have laughed at her about the Doctor But so little were they anymore than the others inclined to oblige her that if Sir John dined from home she might spend a whole day without hearing any other raillery on the subject than what she was kind enough to bestow on herself {para} All these jealousies and discontents however were so totally unsuspected by Mrs Jennings that she thought it a delightful thing for the girls to be together and generally congratulated her young friends every night on having escaped the company of a stupid old woman so long She joined them sometimes at Sir John 's sometimes at her own house but wherever it was she always came in excellent spirits full of delight and importance attributing Charlotte 's well doing to her own care and ready to give so exact so minute a detail of her situation as only Miss Steele had curiosity enough to desire One thing DID disturb her and of that she made her daily complaint Mr Palmer maintained the common but unfatherly opinion among his sex of all infants being alike and though she could plainly perceive at different times the most striking resemblance between this baby and every one of his relations on both sides there was no convincing his father of it no persuading him to believe that it was not exactly like every other baby of the same age nor could he even be brought to acknowledge the simple proposition of its being the finest child in the world {para} I come now to the relation of a misfortune which about this time befell Mrs John Dashwood It so happened that while her two sisters with Mrs Jennings were first calling on her in Harley Street another of her acquaintance had dropt in a circumstance in itself not apparently likely to produce evil to her But while the imaginations of other people will carry them away to form wrong judgments of our conduct and to decide on it by slight appearances one 's happiness must in some measure be always at the mercy of chance In the present instance this last arrived lady allowed her fancy to so far outrun truth and probability that on merely hearing the name of the Miss Dashwoods and understanding them to be Mr Dashwood 's sisters she immediately concluded them to be staying in Harley Street and this misconstruction produced within a day or two afterwards cards of invitation for them as well as for their brother and sister to a small musical party at her house The consequence of which was that Mrs John Dashwood was obliged to submit not only to the exceedingly great inconvenience of sending her carriage for the Miss Dashwoods but what was still worse must be subject to all the unpleasantness of appearing to treat them with attention and who could tell that they might not expect to go out with her a second time The power of disappointing them it was true must always be her 's But that was not enough for when people are determined on a mode of conduct which they know to be wrong they feel injured by the expectation of any thing better from them {para} Marianne had now been brought by degrees so much into the habit of going out every day that it was become a matter of indifference to her whether she went or not and she prepared quietly and mechanically for every evening 's engagement though without expecting the smallest amusement from any and very often without knowing till the last moment where it was to take her {para} To her dress and appearance she was grown so perfectly indifferent as not to bestow half the consideration on it during the whole of her toilet which it received from Miss Steele in the first five minutes of their being together when it was finished Nothing escaped HER minute observation and general curiosity she saw every thing and asked every thing was never easy till she knew the price of every part of Marianne 's dress could have guessed the number of her gowns altogether with better judgment than Marianne herself and was not without hopes of finding out before they parted how much her washing cost per week and how much she had every year to spend upon herself The impertinence of these kind of scrutinies moreover was generally concluded with a compliment which though meant as its douceur was considered by Marianne as the greatest impertinence of all for after undergoing an examination into the value and make of her gown the colour of her shoes and the arrangement of her hair she was almost sure of being told that upon her word she looked vastly smart and she dared to say she would make a great many conquests {para} With such encouragement as this was she dismissed on the present occasion to her brother 's carriage which they were ready to enter five minutes after it stopped at the door a punctuality not very agreeable to their sister in law who had preceded them to the house of her acquaintance and was there hoping for some delay on their part that might inconvenience either herself or her coachman {para} The events of this evening were not very remarkable The party like other musical parties comprehended a great many people who had real taste for the performance and a great many more who had none at all and the performers themselves were as usual in their own estimation and that of their immediate friends the first private performers in England {para} As Elinor was neither musical nor affecting to be so she made no scruple of turning her eyes from the grand pianoforte whenever it suited her and unrestrained even by the presence of a harp and violoncello would fix them at pleasure on any other object in the room In one of these excursive glances she perceived among a group of young men the very he who had given them a lecture on toothpick cases at Gray 's She perceived him soon afterwards looking at herself and speaking familiarly to her brother and had just determined to find out his name from the latter when they both came towards her and Mr Dashwood introduced him to her as Mr Robert Ferrars {para} He addressed her with easy civility and twisted his head into a bow which assured her as plainly as words could have done that he was exactly the coxcomb she had heard him described to be by Lucy Happy had it been for her if her regard for Edward had depended less on his own merit than on the merit of his nearest relations For then his brother 's bow must have given the finishing stroke to what the ill humour of his mother and sister would have begun But while she wondered at the difference of the two young men she did not find that the emptiness of conceit of the one put her out of all charity with the modesty and worth of the other Why they WERE different Robert exclaimed to her himself in the course of a quarter of an hour 's conversation for talking of his brother and lamenting the extreme GAUCHERIE which he really believed kept him from mixing in proper society he candidly and generously attributed it much less to any natural deficiency than to the misfortune of a private education while he himself though probably without any particular any material superiority by nature merely from the advantage of a public school was as well fitted to mix in the world as any other man {para} Upon my soul he added I believe it is nothing more and so I often tell my mother when she is grieving about it My dear Madam I always say to her you must make yourself easy The evil is now irremediable and it has been entirely your own doing Why would you be persuaded by my uncle Sir Robert against your own judgment to place Edward under private tuition at the most critical time of his life If you had only sent him to Westminster as well as myself instead of sending him to Mr Pratt 's all this would have been prevented This is the way in which I always consider the matter and my mother is perfectly convinced of her error {para} Elinor would not oppose his opinion because whatever might be her general estimation of the advantage of a public school she could not think of Edward 's abode in Mr Pratt 's family with any satisfaction {para} You reside in Devonshire I think was his next observation in a cottage near Dawlish {para} Elinor set him right as to its situation and it seemed rather surprising to him that anybody could live in Devonshire without living near Dawlish He bestowed his hearty approbation however on their species of house {para} For my own part said he I am excessively fond of a cottage there is always so much comfort so much elegance about them And I protest if I had any money to spare I should buy a little land and build one myself within a short distance of London where I might drive myself down at any time and collect a few friends about me and be happy I advise every body who is going to build to build a cottage My friend Lord Courtland came to me the other day on purpose to ask my advice and laid before me three different plans of Bonomi 's I was to decide on the best of them My dear Courtland said I immediately throwing them all into the fire do not adopt either of them but by all means build a cottage And that I fancy will be the end of it {para} Some people imagine that there can be no accommodations no space in a cottage but this is all a mistake I was last month at my friend Elliott 's near Dartford Lady Elliott wished to give a dance But how can it be done said she my dear Ferrars do tell me how it is to be managed There is not a room in this cottage that will hold ten couple and where can the supper be I immediately saw that there could be no difficulty in it so I said My dear Lady Elliott do not be uneasy The dining parlour will admit eighteen couple with ease card tables may be placed in the drawing room the library may be open for tea and other refreshments and let the supper be set out in the saloon Lady Elliott was delighted with the thought We measured the dining room and found it would hold exactly eighteen couple and the affair was arranged precisely after my plan So that in fact you see if people do but know how to set about it every comfort may be as well enjoyed in a cottage as in the most spacious dwelling {para} Elinor agreed to it all for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition {para} As John Dashwood had no more pleasure in music than his eldest sister his mind was equally at liberty to fix on any thing else and a thought struck him during the evening which he communicated to his wife for her approbation when they got home The consideration of Mrs Dennison 's mistake in supposing his sisters their guests had suggested the propriety of their being really invited to become such while Mrs Jenning 's engagements kept her from home The expense would be nothing the inconvenience not more and it was altogether an attention which the delicacy of his conscience pointed out to be requisite to its complete enfranchisement from his promise to his father Fanny was startled at the proposal {para} I do not see how it can be done said she without affronting Lady Middleton for they spend every day with her otherwise I should be exceedingly glad to do it You know I am always ready to pay them any attention in my power as my taking them out this evening shews But they are Lady Middleton 's visitors How can I ask them away from her {para} Her husband but with great humility did not see the force of her objection They had already spent a week in this manner in Conduit Street and Lady Middleton could not be displeased at their giving the same number of days to such near relations {para} Fanny paused a moment and then with fresh vigor said {para} My love I would ask them with all my heart if it was in my power But I had just settled within myself to ask the Miss Steeles to spend a few days with us They are very well behaved good kind of girls and I think the attention is due to them as their uncle did so very well by Edward We can ask your sisters some other year you know but the Miss Steeles may not be in town any more I am sure you will like them indeed you DO like them you know very much already and so does my mother and they are such favourites with Harry {para} Mr Dashwood was convinced He saw the necessity of inviting the Miss Steeles immediately and his conscience was pacified by the resolution of inviting his sisters another year at the same time however slyly suspecting that another year would make the invitation needless by bringing Elinor to town as Colonel Brandon 's wife and Marianne as THEIR visitor {para} Fanny rejoicing in her escape and proud of the ready wit that had procured it wrote the next morning to Lucy to request her company and her sister 's for some days in Harley Street as soon as Lady Middleton could spare them This was enough to make Lucy really and reasonably happy Mrs Dashwood seemed actually working for her herself cherishing all her hopes and promoting all her views Such an opportunity of being with Edward and his family was above all things the most material to her interest and such an invitation the most gratifying to her feelings It was an advantage that could not be too gratefully acknowledged nor too speedily made use of and the visit to Lady Middleton which had not before had any precise limits was instantly discovered to have been always meant to end in two days time {para} When the note was shown to Elinor as it was within ten minutes after its arrival it gave her for the first time some share in the expectations of Lucy for such a mark of uncommon kindness vouchsafed on so short an acquaintance seemed to declare that the good will towards her arose from something more than merely malice against herself and might be brought by time and address to do every thing that Lucy wished Her flattery had already subdued the pride of Lady Middleton and made an entry into the close heart of Mrs John Dashwood and these were effects that laid open the probability of greater {para} The Miss Steeles removed to Harley Street and all that reached Elinor of their influence there strengthened her expectation of the event Sir John who called on them more than once brought home such accounts of the favour they were in as must be universally striking Mrs Dashwood had never been so much pleased with any young women in her life as she was with them had given each of them a needle book made by some emigrant called Lucy by her Christian name and did not know whether she should ever be able to part with them {para} [ At this point in the first and second edtions Volume II ended ] {para} CHAPTER 37 {para} Mrs Palmer was so well at the end of a fortnight that her mother felt it no longer necessary to give up the whole of her time to her and contenting herself with visiting her once or twice a day returned from that period to her own home and her own habits in which she found the Miss Dashwoods very ready to ressume their former share {para} About the third or fourth morning after their being thus resettled in Berkeley Street Mrs Jennings on returning from her ordinary visit to Mrs Palmer entered the drawing room where Elinor was sitting by herself with an air of such hurrying importance as prepared her to hear something wonderful and giving her time only to form that idea began directly to justify it by saying {para} Lord my dear Miss Dashwood have you heard the news {para} No ma'am What is it {para} Something so strange But you shall hear it all When I got to Mr Palmer 's I found Charlotte quite in a fuss about the child She was sure it was very ill it cried and fretted and was all over pimples So I looked at it directly and Lord my dear says I it is nothing in the world but the red gum and nurse said just the same But Charlotte she would not be satisfied so Mr Donavan was sent for and luckily he happened to just come in from Harley Street so he stepped over directly and as soon as ever he saw the child be said just as we did that it was nothing in the world but the red gum and then Charlotte was easy And so just as he was going away again it came into my head I am sure I do not know how I happened to think of it but it came into my head to ask him if there was any news So upon that he smirked and simpered and looked grave and seemed to know something or other and at last he said in a whisper For fear any unpleasant report should reach the young ladies under your care as to their sister 's indisposition I think it advisable to say that I believe there is no great reason for alarm I hope Mrs Dashwood will do very well {para} What is Fanny ill {para} That is exactly what I said my dear Lord says I is Mrs Dashwood ill So then it all came out and the long and the short of the matter by all I can learn seems to be this Mr Edward Ferrars the very young man I used to joke with you about but however as it turns out I am monstrous glad there was never any thing in it Mr Edward Ferrars it seems has been engaged above this twelvemonth to my cousin Lucy There 's for you my dear And not a creature knowing a syllable of the matter except Nancy Could you have believed such a thing possible There is no great wonder in their liking one another but that matters should be brought so forward between them and nobody suspect it THAT is strange I never happened to see them together or I am sure I should have found it out directly Well and so this was kept a great secret for fear of Mrs Ferrars and neither she nor your brother or sister suspected a word of the matter till this very morning poor Nancy who you know is a well meaning creature but no conjurer popt it all out Lord thinks she to herself they are all so fond of Lucy to be sure they will make no difficulty about it and so away she went to your sister who was sitting all alone at her carpet work little suspecting what was to come for she had just been saying to your brother only five minutes before that she thought to make a match between Edward and some Lord 's daughter or other I forget who So you may think what a blow it was to all her vanity and pride She fell into violent hysterics immediately with such screams as reached your brother 's ears as he was sitting in his own dressing room down stairs thinking about writing a letter to his steward in the country So up he flew directly and a terrible scene took place for Lucy was come to them by that time little dreaming what was going on Poor soul I pity HER And I must say I think she was used very hardly for your sister scolded like any fury and soon drove her into a fainting fit Nancy she fell upon her knees and cried bitterly and your brother he walked about the room and said he did not know what to do Mrs Dashwood declared they should not stay a minute longer in the house and your brother was forced to go down upon HIS knees too to persuade her to let them stay till they had packed up their clothes THEN she fell into hysterics again and he was so frightened that he would send for Mr Donavan and Mr Donavan found the house in all this uproar The carriage was at the door ready to take my poor cousins away and they were just stepping in as he came off poor Lucy in such a condition he says she could hardly walk and Nancy she was almost as bad I declare I have no patience with your sister and I hope with all my heart it will be a match in spite of her Lord what a taking poor Mr Edward will be in when he hears of it To have his love used so scornfully for they say he is monstrous fond of her as well he may I should not wonder if he was to be in the greatest passion and Mr Donavan thinks just the same He and I had a great deal of talk about it and the best of all is that he is gone back again to Harley Street that he may be within call when Mrs Ferrars is told of it for she was sent for as soon as ever my cousins left the house for your sister was sure SHE would be in hysterics too and so she may for what I care I have no pity for either of them I have no notion of people 's making such a to do about money and greatness There is no reason on earth why Mr Edward and Lucy should not marry for I am sure Mrs Ferrars may afford to do very well by her son and though Lucy has next to nothing herself she knows better than any body how to make the most of every thing I dare say if Mrs Ferrars would only allow him five hundred a year she would make as good an appearance with it as any body else would with eight Lord how snug they might live in such another cottage as yours or a little bigger with two maids and two men and I believe I could help them to a housemaid for my Betty has a sister out of place that would fit them exactly {para} Here Mrs Jennings ceased and as Elinor had had time enough to collect her thoughts she was able to give such an answer and make such observations as the subject might naturally be supposed to produce Happy to find that she was not suspected of any extraordinary interest in it that Mrs Jennings as she had of late often hoped might be the case had ceased to imagine her at all attached to Edward and happy above all the rest in the absence of Marianne she felt very well able to speak of the affair without embarrassment and to give her judgment as she believed with impartiality on the conduct of every one concerned in it {para} She could hardly determine what her own expectation of its event really was though she earnestly tried to drive away the notion of its being possible to end otherwise at last than in the marriage of Edward and Lucy What Mrs Ferrars would say and do though there could not be a doubt of its nature she was anxious to hear and still more anxious to know how Edward would conduct himself For HIM she felt much compassion for Lucy very little and it cost her some pains to procure that little for the rest of the party none at all {para} As Mrs Jennings could talk on no other subject Elinor soon saw the necessity of preparing Marianne for its discussion No time was to be lost in undeceiving her in making her acquainted with the real truth and in endeavouring to bring her to hear it talked of by others without betraying that she felt any uneasiness for her sister or any resentment against Edward {para} Elinor 's office was a painful one She was going to remove what she really believed to be her sister 's chief consolation to give such particulars of Edward as she feared would ruin him for ever in her good opinion and to make Marianne by a resemblance in their situations which to HER fancy would seem strong feel all her own disappointment over again But unwelcome as such a task must be it was necessary to be done and Elinor therefore hastened to perform it {para} She was very far from wishing to dwell on her own feelings or to represent herself as suffering much any otherwise than as the self command she had practised since her first knowledge of Edward 's engagement might suggest a hint of what was practicable to Marianne Her narration was clear and simple and though it could not be given without emotion it was not accompanied by violent agitation nor impetuous grief THAT belonged rather to the hearer for Marianne listened with horror and cried excessively Elinor was to be the comforter of others in her own distresses no less than in theirs and all the comfort that could be given by assurances of her own composure of mind and a very earnest vindication of Edward from every charge but of imprudence was readily offered {para} But Marianne for some time would give credit to neither Edward seemed a second Willoughby and acknowledging as Elinor did that she HAD loved him most sincerely could she feel less than herself As for Lucy Steele she considered her so totally unamiable so absolutely incapable of attaching a sensible man that she could not be persuaded at first to believe and afterwards to pardon any former affection of Edward for her She would not even admit it to have been natural and Elinor left her to be convinced that it was so by that which only could convince her a better knowledge of mankind {para} Her first communication had reached no farther than to state the fact of the engagement and the length of time it had existed Marianne 's feelings had then broken in and put an end to all regularity of detail and for some time all that could be done was to soothe her distress lessen her alarms and combat her resentment The first question on her side which led to farther particulars was {para} How long has this been known to you Elinor has he written to you {para} I have known it these four months When Lucy first came to Barton Park last November she told me in confidence of her engagement {para} At these words Marianne 's eyes expressed the astonishment which her lips could not utter After a pause of wonder she exclaimed {para} Four months Have you known of this four months {para} Elinor confirmed it {para} What while attending me in all my misery has this been on your heart And I have reproached you for being happy {para} It was not fit that you should then know how much I was the reverse {para} Four months cried Marianne again So calm so cheerful how have you been supported {para} By feeling that I was doing my duty My promise to Lucy obliged me to be secret I owed it to her therefore to avoid giving any hint of the truth and I owed it to my family and friends not to create in them a solicitude about me which it could not be in my power to satisfy {para} Marianne seemed much struck {para} I have very often wished to undeceive yourself and my mother added Elinor and once or twice I have attempted it but without betraying my trust I never could have convinced you {para} Four months and yet you loved him {para} Yes But I did not love only him and while the comfort of others was dear to me I was glad to spare them from knowing how much I felt Now I can think and speak of it with little emotion I would not have you suffer on my account for I assure you I no longer suffer materially myself I have many things to support me I am not conscious of having provoked the disappointment by any imprudence of my own I have borne it as much as possible without spreading it farther I acquit Edward of essential misconduct I wish him very happy and I am so sure of his always doing his duty that though now he may harbour some regret in the end he must become so Lucy does not want sense and that is the foundation on which every thing good may be built And after all Marianne after all that is bewitching in the idea of a single and constant attachment and all that can be said of one 's happiness depending entirely on any particular person it is not meant it is not fit it is not possible that it should be so Edward will marry Lucy he will marry a woman superior in person and understanding to half her sex and time and habit will teach him to forget that he ever thought another superior to HER {para} If such is your way of thinking said Marianne if the loss of what is most valued is so easily to be made up by something else your resolution your self command are perhaps a little less to be wondered at They are brought more within my comprehension {para} I understand you You do not suppose that I have ever felt much For four months Marianne I have had all this hanging on my mind without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature knowing that it would make you and my mother most unhappy whenever it were explained to you yet unable to prepare you for it in the least It was told me it was in a manner forced on me by the very person herself whose prior engagement ruined all my prospects and told me as I thought with triumph This person 's suspicions therefore I have had to oppose by endeavouring to appear indifferent where I have been most deeply interested and it has not been only once I have had her hopes and exultation to listen to again and again I have known myself to be divided from Edward for ever without hearing one circumstance that could make me less desire the connection Nothing has proved him unworthy nor has anything declared him indifferent to me I have had to contend against the unkindness of his sister and the insolence of his mother and have suffered the punishment of an attachment without enjoying its advantages And all this has been going on at a time when as you know too well it has not been my only unhappiness If you can think me capable of ever feeling surely you may suppose that I have suffered NOW The composure of mind with which I have brought myself at present to consider the matter the consolation that I have been willing to admit have been the effect of constant and painful exertion they did not spring up of themselves they did not occur to relieve my spirits at first No Marianne THEN if I had not been bound to silence perhaps nothing could have kept me entirely not even what I owed to my dearest friends from openly shewing that I was VERY unhappy {para} Marianne was quite subdued {para} Oh Elinor she cried you have made me hate myself for ever How barbarous have I been to you you who have been my only comfort who have borne with me in all my misery who have seemed to be only suffering for me Is this my gratitude Is this the only return I can make you Because your merit cries out upon myself I have been trying to do it away {para} The tenderest caresses followed this confession In such a frame of mind as she was now in Elinor had no difficulty in obtaining from her whatever promise she required and at her request Marianne engaged never to speak of the affair to any one with the least appearance of bitterness to meet Lucy without betraying the smallest increase of dislike to her and even to see Edward himself if chance should bring them together without any diminution of her usual cordiality These were great concessions but where Marianne felt that she had injured no reparation could be too much for her to make {para} She performed her promise of being discreet to admiration She attended to all that Mrs Jennings had to say upon the subject with an unchanging complexion dissented from her in nothing and was heard three times to say Yes ma'am She listened to her praise of Lucy with only moving from one chair to another and when Mrs Jennings talked of Edward 's affection it cost her only a spasm in her throat Such advances towards heroism in her sister made Elinor feel equal to any thing herself {para} The next morning brought a farther trial of it in a visit from their brother who came with a most serious aspect to talk over the dreadful affair and bring them news of his wife {para} You have heard I suppose said he with great solemnity as soon as he was seated of the very shocking discovery that took place under our roof yesterday {para} They all looked their assent it seemed too awful a moment for speech {para} Your sister he continued has suffered dreadfully Mrs Ferrars too in short it has been a scene of such complicated distress but I will hope that the storm may be weathered without our being any of us quite overcome Poor Fanny she was in hysterics all yesterday But I would not alarm you too much Donavan says there is nothing materially to be apprehended her constitution is a good one and her resolution equal to any thing She has borne it all with the fortitude of an angel She says she never shall think well of anybody again and one cannot wonder at it after being so deceived meeting with such ingratitude where so much kindness had been shewn so much confidence had been placed It was quite out of the benevolence of her heart that she had asked these young women to her house merely because she thought they deserved some attention were harmless well behaved girls and would be pleasant companions for otherwise we both wished very much to have invited you and Marianne to be with us while your kind friend there was attending her daughter And now to be so rewarded I wish with all my heart says poor Fanny in her affectionate way that we had asked your sisters instead of them {para} Here he stopped to be thanked which being done he went on {para} What poor Mrs Ferrars suffered when first Fanny broke it to her is not to be described While she with the truest affection had been planning a most eligible connection for him was it to be supposed that he could be all the time secretly engaged to another person such a suspicion could never have entered her head If she suspected ANY prepossession elsewhere it could not be in THAT quarter THERE to be sure said she I might have thought myself safe She was quite in an agony We consulted together however as to what should be done and at last she determined to send for Edward He came But I am sorry to relate what ensued All that Mrs Ferrars could say to make him put an end to the engagement assisted too as you may well suppose by my arguments and Fanny 's entreaties was of no avail Duty affection every thing was disregarded I never thought Edward so stubborn so unfeeling before His mother explained to him her liberal designs in case of his marrying Miss Morton told him she would settle on him the Norfolk estate which clear of land tax brings in a good thousand a year offered even when matters grew desperate to make it twelve hundred and in opposition to this if he still persisted in this low connection represented to him the certain penury that must attend the match His own two thousand pounds she protested should be his all she would never see him again and so far would she be from affording him the smallest assistance that if he were to enter into any profession with a view of better support she would do all in her power to prevent him advancing in it {para} Here Marianne in an ecstasy of indignation clapped her hands together and cried Gracious God can this be possible {para} Well may you wonder Marianne replied her brother at the obstinacy which could resist such arguments as these Your exclamation is very natural {para} Marianne was going to retort but she remembered her promises and forbore {para} All this however he continued was urged in vain Edward said very little but what he did say was in the most determined manner Nothing should prevail on him to give up his engagement He would stand to it cost him what it might {para} Then cried Mrs Jennings with blunt sincerity no longer able to be silent he has acted like an honest man I beg your pardon Mr Dashwood but if he had done otherwise I should have thought him a rascal I have some little concern in the business as well as yourself for Lucy Steele is my cousin and I believe there is not a better kind of girl in the world nor one who more deserves a good husband {para} John Dashwood was greatly astonished but his nature was calm not open to provocation and he never wished to offend anybody especially anybody of good fortune He therefore replied without any resentment {para} I would by no means speak disrespectfully of any relation of yours madam Miss Lucy Steele is I dare say a very deserving young woman but in the present case you know the connection must be impossible And to have entered into a secret engagement with a young man under her uncle 's care the son of a woman especially of such very large fortune as Mrs Ferrars is perhaps altogether a little extraordinary In short I do not mean to reflect upon the behaviour of any person whom you have a regard for Mrs Jennings We all wish her extremely happy and Mrs Ferrars 's conduct throughout the whole has been such as every conscientious good mother in like circumstances would adopt It has been dignified and liberal Edward has drawn his own lot and I fear it will be a bad one {para} Marianne sighed out her similar apprehension and Elinor 's heart wrung for the feelings of Edward while braving his mother 's threats for a woman who could not reward him {para} Well sir said Mrs Jennings and how did it end {para} I am sorry to say ma'am in a most unhappy rupture Edward is dismissed for ever from his mother 's notice He left her house yesterday but where he is gone or whether he is still in town I do not know for WE of course can make no inquiry {para} Poor young man and what is to become of him {para} What indeed ma'am It is a melancholy consideration Born to the prospect of such affluence I cannot conceive a situation more deplorable The interest of two thousand pounds how can a man live on it and when to that is added the recollection that he might but for his own folly within three months have been in the receipt of two thousand five hundred a year for Miss Morton has thirty thousand pounds I cannot picture to myself a more wretched condition We must all feel for him and the more so because it is totally out of our power to assist him {para} Poor young man cried Mrs Jennings I am sure he should be very welcome to bed and board at my house and so I would tell him if I could see him It is not fit that he should be living about at his own charge now at lodgings and taverns {para} Elinor 's heart thanked her for such kindness towards Edward though she could not forbear smiling at the form of it {para} If he would only have done as well by himself said John Dashwood as all his friends were disposed to do by him he might now have been in his proper situation and would have wanted for nothing But as it is it must be out of anybody 's power to assist him And there is one thing more preparing against him which must be worse than all his mother has determined with a very natural kind of spirit to settle THAT estate upon Robert immediately which might have been Edward 's on proper conditions I left her this morning with her lawyer talking over the business {para} Well said Mrs Jennings that is HER revenge Everybody has a way of their own But I don't think mine would be to make one son independent because another had plagued me {para} Marianne got up and walked about the room {para} Can anything be more galling to the spirit of a man continued John than to see his younger brother in possession of an estate which might have been his own Poor Edward I feel for him sincerely {para} A few minutes more spent in the same kind of effusion concluded his visit and with repeated assurances to his sisters that he really believed there was no material danger in Fanny 's indisposition and that they need not therefore be very uneasy about it he went away leaving the three ladies unanimous in their sentiments on the present occasion as far at least as it regarded Mrs Ferrars 's conduct the Dashwoods and Edward 's {para} Marianne 's indignation burst forth as soon as he quitted the room and as her vehemence made reserve impossible in Elinor and unnecessary in Mrs Jennings they all joined in a very spirited critique upon the party {para} CHAPTER 38 {para} Mrs Jennings was very warm in her praise of Edward 's conduct but only Elinor and Marianne understood its true merit THEY only knew how little he had had to tempt him to be disobedient and how small was the consolation beyond the consciousness of doing right that could remain to him in the loss of friends and fortune Elinor gloried in his integrity and Marianne forgave all his offences in compassion for his punishment But though confidence between them was by this public discovery restored to its proper state it was not a subject on which either of them were fond of dwelling when alone Elinor avoided it upon principle as tending to fix still more upon her thoughts by the too warm too positive assurances of Marianne that belief of Edward 's continued affection for herself which she rather wished to do away and Marianne 's courage soon failed her in trying to converse upon a topic which always left her more dissatisfied with herself than ever by the comparison it necessarily produced between Elinor 's conduct and her own {para} She felt all the force of that comparison but not as her sister had hoped to urge her to exertion now she felt it with all the pain of continual self reproach regretted most bitterly that she had never exerted herself before but it brought only the torture of penitence without the hope of amendment Her mind was so much weakened that she still fancied present exertion impossible and therefore it only dispirited her more {para} Nothing new was heard by them for a day or two afterwards of affairs in Harley Street or Bartlett 's Buildings But though so much of the matter was known to them already that Mrs Jennings might have had enough to do in spreading that knowledge farther without seeking after more she had resolved from the first to pay a visit of comfort and inquiry to her cousins as soon as she could and nothing but the hindrance of more visitors than usual had prevented her going to them within that time {para} The third day succeeding their knowledge of the particulars was so fine so beautiful a Sunday as to draw many to Kensington Gardens though it was only the second week in March Mrs Jennings and Elinor were of the number but Marianne who knew that the Willoughbys were again in town and had a constant dread of meeting them chose rather to stay at home than venture into so public a place {para} An intimate acquaintance of Mrs Jennings joined them soon after they entered the Gardens and Elinor was not sorry that by her continuing with them and engaging all Mrs Jennings 's conversation she was herself left to quiet reflection She saw nothing of the Willoughbys nothing of Edward and for some time nothing of anybody who could by any chance whether grave or gay be interesting to her But at last she found herself with some surprise accosted by Miss Steele who though looking rather shy expressed great satisfaction in meeting them and on receiving encouragement from the particular kindness of Mrs Jennings left her own party for a short time to join their 's Mrs Jennings immediately whispered to Elinor {para} Get it all out of her my dear She will tell you any thing if you ask You see I cannot leave Mrs Clarke {para} It was lucky however for Mrs Jennings 's curiosity and Elinor 's too that she would tell any thing WITHOUT being asked for nothing would otherwise have been learnt {para} I am so glad to meet you said Miss Steele taking her familiarly by the arm for I wanted to see you of all things in the world And then lowering her voice I suppose Mrs Jennings has heard all about it Is she angry {para} Not at all I believe with you {para} That is a good thing And Lady Middleton is SHE angry {para} I cannot suppose it possible that she should {para} I am monstrous glad of it Good gracious I have had such a time of it I never saw Lucy in such a rage in my life She vowed at first she would never trim me up a new bonnet nor do any thing else for me again so long as she lived but now she is quite come to and we are as good friends as ever Look she made me this bow to my hat and put in the feather last night There now YOU are going to laugh at me too But why should not I wear pink ribbons I do not care if it IS the Doctor 's favourite colour I am sure for my part I should never have known he DID like it better than any other colour if he had not happened to say so My cousins have been so plaguing me I declare sometimes I do not know which way to look before them {para} She had wandered away to a subject on which Elinor had nothing to say and therefore soon judged it expedient to find her way back again to the first {para} Well but Miss Dashwood speaking triumphantly people may say what they chuse about Mr Ferrars 's declaring he would not have Lucy for it is no such thing I can tell you and it is quite a shame for such ill natured reports to be spread abroad Whatever Lucy might think about it herself you know it was no business of other people to set it down for certain {para} I never heard any thing of the kind hinted at before I assure you said Elinor {para} Oh did not you But it WAS said I know very well and by more than one for Miss Godby told Miss Sparks that nobody in their senses could expect Mr Ferrars to give up a woman like Miss Morton with thirty thousand pounds to her fortune for Lucy Steele that had nothing at all and I had it from Miss Sparks myself And besides that my cousin Richard said himself that when it came to the point he was afraid Mr Ferrars would be off and when Edward did not come near us for three days I could not tell what to think myself and I believe in my heart Lucy gave it up all for lost for we came away from your brother 's Wednesday and we saw nothing of him not all Thursday Friday and Saturday and did not know what was become of him Once Lucy thought to write to him but then her spirits rose against that However this morning he came just as we came home from church and then it all came out how he had been sent for Wednesday to Harley Street and been talked to by his mother and all of them and how he had declared before them all that he loved nobody but Lucy and nobody but Lucy would he have And how he had been so worried by what passed that as soon as he had went away from his mother 's house he had got upon his horse and rid into the country some where or other and how he had stayed about at an inn all Thursday and Friday on purpose to get the better of it And after thinking it all over and over again he said it seemed to him as if now he had no fortune and no nothing at all it would be quite unkind to keep her on to the engagement because it must be for her loss for he had nothing but two thousand pounds and no hope of any thing else and if he was to go into orders as he had some thoughts he could get nothing but a curacy and how was they to live upon that He could not bear to think of her doing no better and so he begged if she had the least mind for it to put an end to the matter directly and leave him shift for himself I heard him say all this as plain as could possibly be And it was entirely for HER sake and upon HER account that he said a word about being off and not upon his own I will take my oath he never dropt a syllable of being tired of her or of wishing to marry Miss Morton or any thing like it But to be sure Lucy would not give ear to such kind of talking so she told him directly with a great deal about sweet and love you know and all that Oh la one can't repeat such kind of things you know she told him directly she had not the least mind in the world to be off for she could live with him upon a trifle and how little so ever he might have she should be very glad to have it all you know or something of the kind So then he was monstrous happy and talked on some time about what they should do and they agreed he should take orders directly and they must wait to be married till he got a living And just then I could not hear any more for my cousin called from below to tell me Mrs Richardson was come in her coach and would take one of us to Kensington Gardens so I was forced to go into the room and interrupt them to ask Lucy if she would like to go but she did not care to leave Edward so I just run up stairs and put on a pair of silk stockings and came off with the Richardsons {para} I do not understand what you mean by interrupting them said Elinor you were all in the same room together were not you {para} No indeed not us La Miss Dashwood do you think people make love when any body else is by Oh for shame To be sure you must know better than that Laughing affectedly No no they were shut up in the drawing room together and all I heard was only by listening at the door {para} How cried Elinor have you been repeating to me what you only learnt yourself by listening at the door I am sorry I did not know it before for I certainly would not have suffered you to give me particulars of a conversation which you ought not to have known yourself How could you behave so unfairly by your sister {para} Oh la there is nothing in THAT I only stood at the door and heard what I could And I am sure Lucy would have done just the same by me for a year or two back when Martha Sharpe and I had so many secrets together she never made any bones of hiding in a closet or behind a chimney board on purpose to hear what we said {para} Elinor tried to talk of something else but Miss Steele could not be kept beyond a couple of minutes from what was uppermost in her mind {para} Edward talks of going to Oxford soon said she but now he is lodging at No Pall Mall What an ill natured woman his monther is an't she And your brother and sister were not very kind However I shan't say anything against them to YOU and to be sure they did send us home in their own chariot which was more than I looked for And for my part I was all in a fright for fear your sister should ask us for the huswifes she had gave us a day or two before but however nothing was said about them and I took care to keep mine out of sight Edward have got some business at Oxford he says so he must go there for a time and after THAT as soon as he can light upon a Bishop he will be ordained I wonder what curacy he will get Good gracious giggling as she spoke I 'd lay my life I know what my cousins will say when they hear of it They will tell me I should write to the Doctor to get Edward the curacy of his new living I know they will but I am sure I would not do such a thing for all the world La I shall say directly I wonder how you could think of such a thing I write to the Doctor indeed {para} Well said Elinor it is a comfort to be prepared against the worst You have got your answer ready {para} Miss Steele was going to reply on the same subject but the approach of her own party made another more necessary {para} Oh la here come the Richardsons I had a vast deal more to say to you but I must not stay away from them not any longer I assure you they are very genteel people He makes a monstrous deal of money and they keep their own coach I have not time to speak to Mrs Jennings about it myself but pray tell her I am quite happy to hear she is not in anger against us and Lady Middleton the same and if anything should happen to take you and your sister away and Mrs Jennings should want company I am sure we should be very glad to come and stay with her for as long a time as she likes I suppose Lady Middleton won't ask us any more this bout Good by I am sorry Miss Marianne was not here Remember me kindly to her La if you have not got your spotted muslin on I wonder you was not afraid of its being torn {para} Such was her parting concern for after this she had time only to pay her farewell compliments to Mrs Jennings before her company was claimed by Mrs Richardson and Elinor was left in possession of knowledge which might feed her powers of reflection some time though she had learnt very little more than what had been already foreseen and foreplanned in her own mind Edward 's marriage with Lucy was as firmly determined on and the time of its taking place remained as absolutely uncertain as she had concluded it would be every thing depended exactly after her expectation on his getting that preferment of which at present there seemed not the smallest chance {para} As soon as they returned to the carriage Mrs Jennings was eager for information but as Elinor wished to spread as little as possible intelligence that had in the first place been so unfairly obtained she confined herself to the brief repetition of such simple particulars as she felt assured that Lucy for the sake of her own consequence would choose to have known The continuance of their engagement and the means that were able to be taken for promoting its end was all her communication and this produced from Mrs Jennings the following natural remark {para} Wait for his having a living ay we all know how THAT will end they will wait a twelvemonth and finding no good comes of it will set down upon a curacy of fifty pounds a year with the interest of his two thousand pounds and what little matter Mr Steele and Mr Pratt can give her Then they will have a child every year and Lord help em how poor they will be I must see what I can give them towards furnishing their house Two maids and two men indeed as I talked of t'other day No no they must get a stout girl of all works Betty 's sister would never do for them NOW {para} The next morning brought Elinor a letter by the two penny post from Lucy herself It was as follows {para} Bartlett 's Building March {para} I hope my dear Miss Dashwood will excuse the liberty I take of writing to her but I know your friendship for me will make you pleased to hear such a good account of myself and my dear Edward after all the troubles we have went through lately therefore will make no more apologies but proceed to say that thank God though we have suffered dreadfully we are both quite well now and as happy as we must always be in one another 's love We have had great trials and great persecutions but however at the same time gratefully acknowledge many friends yourself not the least among them whose great kindness I shall always thankfully remember as will Edward too who I have told of it I am sure you will be glad to hear as likewise dear Mrs Jennings I spent two happy hours with him yesterday afternoon he would not hear of our parting though earnestly did I as I thought my duty required urge him to it for prudence sake and would have parted for ever on the spot would he consent to it but he said it should never be he did not regard his mother 's anger while he could have my affections our prospects are not very bright to be sure but we must wait and hope for the best he will be ordained shortly and should it ever be in your power to recommend him to any body that has a living to bestow am very sure you will not forget us and dear Mrs Jennings too trust she will speak a good word for us to Sir John or Mr Palmer or any friend that may be able to assist us Poor Anne was much to blame for what she did but she did it for the best so I say nothing hope Mrs Jennings won't think it too much trouble to give us a call should she come this way any morning twould be a great kindness and my cousins would be proud to know her My paper reminds me to conclude and begging to be most gratefully and respectfully remembered to her and to Sir John and Lady Middleton and the dear children when you chance to see them and love to Miss Marianne {para} I am &c {para} As soon as Elinor had finished it she performed what she concluded to be its writer 's real design by placing it in the hands of Mrs Jennings who read it aloud with many comments of satisfaction and praise {para} Very well indeed how prettily she writes aye that was quite proper to let him be off if he would That was just like Lucy Poor soul I wish I COULD get him a living with all my heart She calls me dear Mrs Jennings you see She is a good hearted girl as ever lived Very well upon my word That sentence is very prettily turned Yes yes I will go and see her sure enough How attentive she is to think of every body Thank you my dear for shewing it me It is as pretty a letter as ever I saw and does Lucy 's head and heart great credit {para} CHAPTER 39 {para} The Miss Dashwoods had now been rather more than two months in town and Marianne 's impatience to be gone increased every day She sighed for the air the liberty the quiet of the country and fancied that if any place could give her ease Barton must do it Elinor was hardly less anxious than herself for their removal and only so much less bent on its being effected immediately as that she was conscious of the difficulties of so long a journey which Marianne could not be brought to acknowledge She began however seriously to turn her thoughts towards its accomplishment and had already mentioned their wishes to their kind hostess who resisted them with all the eloquence of her good will when a plan was suggested which though detaining them from home yet a few weeks longer appeared to Elinor altogether much more eligible than any other The Palmers were to remove to Cleveland about the end of March for the Easter holidays and Mrs Jennings with both her friends received a very warm invitation from Charlotte to go with them This would not in itself have been sufficient for the delicacy of Miss Dashwood but it was inforced with so much real politeness by Mr Palmer himself as joined to the very great amendment of his manners towards them since her sister had been known to be unhappy induced her to accept it with pleasure {para} When she told Marianne what she had done however her first reply was not very auspicious {para} Cleveland she cried with great agitation No I cannot go to Cleveland {para} You forget said Elinor gently that its situation is notthat it is not in the neighbourhood of {para} But it is in Somersetshire I cannot go into Somersetshire There where I looked forward to goingNo Elinor you cannot expect me to go there {para} Elinor would not argue upon the propriety of overcoming such feelings she only endeavoured to counteract them by working on others represented it therefore as a measure which would fix the time of her returning to that dear mother whom she so much wished to see in a more eligible more comfortable manner than any other plan could do and perhaps without any greater delay From Cleveland which was within a few miles of Bristol the distance to Barton was not beyond one day though a long day 's journey and their mother 's servant might easily come there to attend them down and as there could be no occasion of their staying above a week at Cleveland they might now be at home in little more than three weeks time As Marianne 's affection for her mother was sincere it must triumph with little difficulty over the imaginary evils she had started {para} Mrs Jennings was so far from being weary of her guest that she pressed them very earnestly to return with her again from Cleveland Elinor was grateful for the attention but it could not alter her design and their mother 's concurrence being readily gained every thing relative to their return was arranged as far as it could be and Marianne found some relief in drawing up a statement of the hours that were yet to divide her from Barton {para} Ah Colonel I do not know what you and I shall do without the Miss Dashwoods was Mrs Jennings 's address to him when he first called on her after their leaving her was settled for they are quite resolved upon going home from the Palmers and how forlorn we shall be when I come back Lord we shall sit and gape at one another as dull as two cats {para} Perhaps Mrs Jennings was in hopes by this vigorous sketch of their future ennui to provoke him to make that offer which might give himself an escape from it and if so she had soon afterwards good reason to think her object gained for on Elinor 's moving to the window to take more expeditiously the dimensions of a print which she was going to copy for her friend he followed her to it with a look of particular meaning and conversed with her there for several minutes The effect of his discourse on the lady too could not escape her observation for though she was too honorable to listen and had even changed her seat on purpose that she might NOT hear to one close by the piano forte on which Marianne was playing she could not keep herself from seeing that Elinor changed colour attended with agitation and was too intent on what he said to pursue her employment Still farther in confirmation of her hopes in the interval of Marianne 's turning from one lesson to another some words of the Colonel 's inevitably reached her ear in which he seemed to be apologising for the badness of his house This set the matter beyond a doubt She wondered indeed at his thinking it necessary to do so but supposed it to be the proper etiquette What Elinor said in reply she could not distinguish but judged from the motion of her lips that she did not think THAT any material objection and Mrs Jennings commended her in her heart for being so honest They then talked on for a few minutes longer without her catching a syllable when another lucky stop in Marianne 's performance brought her these words in the Colonel 's calm voice {para} I am afraid it cannot take place very soon {para} Astonished and shocked at so unlover like a speech she was almost ready to cry out Lord what should hinder it but checking her desire confined herself to this silent ejaculation {para} This is very strange sure he need not wait to be older {para} This delay on the Colonel 's side however did not seem to offend or mortify his fair companion in the least for on their breaking up the conference soon afterwards and moving different ways Mrs Jennings very plainly heard Elinor say and with a voice which shewed her to feel what she said {para} I shall always think myself very much obliged to you {para} Mrs Jennings was delighted with her gratitude and only wondered that after hearing such a sentence the Colonel should be able to take leave of them as he immediately did with the utmost sang froid and go away without making her any reply She had not thought her old friend could have made so indifferent a suitor {para} What had really passed between them was to this effect {para} I have heard said he with great compassion of the injustice your friend Mr Ferrars has suffered from his family for if I understand the matter right he has been entirely cast off by them for persevering in his engagement with a very deserving young woman Have I been rightly informed Is it so {para} Elinor told him that it was {para} The cruelty the impolitic cruelty he replied with great feeling of dividing or attempting to divide two young people long attached to each other is terrible Mrs Ferrars does not know what she may be doing what she may drive her son to I have seen Mr Ferrars two or three times in Harley Street and am much pleased with him He is not a young man with whom one can be intimately acquainted in a short time but I have seen enough of him to wish him well for his own sake and as a friend of yours I wish it still more I understand that he intends to take orders Will you be so good as to tell him that the living of Delaford now just vacant as I am informed by this day 's post is his if he think it worth his acceptance but THAT perhaps so unfortunately circumstanced as he is now it may be nonsense to appear to doubt I only wish it were more valuable It is a rectory but a small one the late incumbent I believe did not make more than 200 L per annum and though it is certainly capable of improvement I fear not to such an amount as to afford him a very comfortable income Such as it is however my pleasure in presenting him to it will be very great Pray assure him of it {para} Elinor 's astonishment at this commission could hardly have been greater had the Colonel been really making her an offer of his hand The preferment which only two days before she had considered as hopeless for Edward was already provided to enable him to marry and SHE of all people in the world was fixed on to bestow it Her emotion was such as Mrs Jennings had attributed to a very different cause but whatever minor feelings less pure less pleasing might have a share in that emotion her esteem for the general benevolence and her gratitude for the particular friendship which together prompted Colonel Brandon to this act were strongly felt and warmly expressed She thanked him for it with all her heart spoke of Edward 's principles and disposition with that praise which she knew them to deserve and promised to undertake the commission with pleasure if it were really his wish to put off so agreeable an office to another But at the same time she could not help thinking that no one could so well perform it as himself It was an office in short from which unwilling to give Edward the pain of receiving an obligation from HER she would have been very glad to be spared herself but Colonel Brandon on motives of equal delicacy declining it likewise still seemed so desirous of its being given through her means that she would not on any account make farther opposition Edward she believed was still in town and fortunately she had heard his address from Miss Steele She could undertake therefore to inform him of it in the course of the day After this had been settled Colonel Brandon began to talk of his own advantage in securing so respectable and agreeable a neighbour and THEN it was that he mentioned with regret that the house was small and indifferent an evil which Elinor as Mrs Jennings had supposed her to do made very light of at least as far as regarded its size {para} The smallness of the house said she I cannot imagine any inconvenience to them for it will be in proportion to their family and income {para} By which the Colonel was surprised to find that SHE was considering Mr Ferrars 's marriage as the certain consequence of the presentation for he did not suppose it possible that Delaford living could supply such an income as anybody in his style of life would venture to settle on and he said so {para} This little rectory CAN do no more than make Mr Ferrars comfortable as a bachelor it cannot enable him to marry I am sorry to say that my patronage ends with this and my interest is hardly more extensive If however by an unforeseen chance it should be in my power to serve him farther I must think very differently of him from what I now do if I am not as ready to be useful to him then as I sincerely wish I could be at present What I am now doing indeed seems nothing at all since it can advance him so little towards what must be his principal his only object of happiness His marriage must still be a distant good at least I am afraid it cannot take place very soon {para} Such was the sentence which when misunderstood so justly offended the delicate feelings of Mrs Jennings but after this narration of what really passed between Colonel Brandon and Elinor while they stood at the window the gratitude expressed by the latter on their parting may perhaps appear in general not less reasonably excited nor less properly worded than if it had arisen from an offer of marriage {para} CHAPTER 40 {para} Well Miss Dashwood said Mrs Jennings sagaciously smiling as soon as the gentleman had withdrawn I do not ask you what the Colonel has been saying to you for though upon my honour I TRIED to keep out of hearing I could not help catching enough to understand his business And I assure you I never was better pleased in my life and I wish you joy of it with all my heart {para} Thank you ma'am said Elinor It is a matter of great joy to me and I feel the goodness of Colonel Brandon most sensibly There are not many men who would act as he has done Few people who have so compassionate a heart I never was more astonished in my life {para} Lord my dear you are very modest I an't the least astonished at it in the world for I have often thought of late there was nothing more likely to happen {para} You judged from your knowledge of the Colonel 's general benevolence but at least you could not foresee that the opportunity would so very soon occur {para} Opportunity repeated Mrs Jennings Oh as to that when a man has once made up his mind to such a thing somehow or other he will soon find an opportunity Well my dear I wish you joy of it again and again and if ever there was a happy couple in the world I think I shall soon know where to look for them {para} You mean to go to Delaford after them I suppose said Elinor with a faint smile {para} Aye my dear that I do indeed And as to the house being a bad one I do not know what the Colonel would be at for it is as good a one as ever I saw {para} He spoke of its being out of repair {para} Well and whose fault is that why don't he repair it who should do it but himself {para} They were interrupted by the servant 's coming in to announce the carriage being at the door and Mrs Jennings immediately preparing to go said {para} Well my dear I must be gone before I have had half my talk out But however we may have it all over in the evening for we shall be quite alone I do not ask you to go with me for I dare say your mind is too full of the matter to care for company and besides you must long to tell your sister all about it {para} Marianne had left the room before the conversation began {para} Certainly ma'am I shall tell Marianne of it but I shall not mention it at present to any body else {para} Oh very well said Mrs Jennings rather disappointed Then you would not have me tell it to Lucy for I think of going as far as Holborn to day {para} No ma'am not even Lucy if you please One day 's delay will not be very material and till I have written to Mr Ferrars I think it ought not to be mentioned to any body else I shall do THAT directly It is of importance that no time should be lost with him for he will of course have much to do relative to his ordination {para} This speech at first puzzled Mrs Jennings exceedingly Why Mr Ferrars was to have been written to about it in such a hurry she could not immediately comprehend A few moments reflection however produced a very happy idea and she exclaimed {para} Oh ho I understand you Mr Ferrars is to be the man Well so much the better for him Ay to be sure he must be ordained in readiness and I am very glad to find things are so forward between you But my dear is not this rather out of character Should not the Colonel write himself sure he is the proper person {para} Elinor did not quite understand the beginning of Mrs Jennings 's speech neither did she think it worth inquiring into and therefore only replied to its conclusion {para} Colonel Brandon is so delicate a man that he rather wished any one to announce his intentions to Mr Ferrars than himself {para} And so YOU are forced to do it Well THAT is an odd kind of delicacy However I will not disturb you seeing her preparing to write You know your own concerns best So goodby my dear I have not heard of any thing to please me so well since Charlotte was brought to bed {para} And away she went but returning again in a moment {para} I have just been thinking of Betty 's sister my dear I should be very glad to get her so good a mistress But whether she would do for a lady 's maid I am sure I can't tell She is an excellent housemaid and works very well at her needle However you will think of all that at your leisure {para} Certainly ma'am replied Elinor not hearing much of what she said and more anxious to be alone than to be mistress of the subject {para} How she should begin how she should express herself in her note to Edward was now all her concern The particular circumstances between them made a difficulty of that which to any other person would have been the easiest thing in the world but she equally feared to say too much or too little and sat deliberating over her paper with the pen in her band till broken in on by the entrance of Edward himself {para} He had met Mrs Jennings at the door in her way to the carriage as he came to leave his farewell card and she after apologising for not returning herself had obliged him to enter by saying that Miss Dashwood was above and wanted to speak with him on very particular business {para} Elinor had just been congratulating herself in the midst of her perplexity that however difficult it might be to express herself properly by letter it was at least preferable to giving the information by word of mouth when her visitor entered to force her upon this greatest exertion of all Her astonishment and confusion were very great on his so sudden appearance She had not seen him before since his engagement became public and therefore not since his knowing her to be acquainted with it which with the consciousness of what she had been thinking of and what she had to tell him made her feel particularly uncomfortable for some minutes He too was much distressed and they sat down together in a most promising state of embarrassment Whether he had asked her pardon for his intrusion on first coming into the room he could not recollect but determining to be on the safe side he made his apology in form as soon as he could say any thing after taking a chair {para} Mrs Jennings told me said he that you wished to speak with me at least I understood her so or I certainly should not have intruded on you in such a manner though at the same time I should have been extremely sorry to leave London without seeing you and your sister especially as it will most likely be some time it is not probable that I should soon have the pleasure of meeting you again I go to Oxford tomorrow {para} You would not have gone however said Elinor recovering herself and determined to get over what she so much dreaded as soon as possible without receiving our good wishes even if we had not been able to give them in person Mrs Jennings was quite right in what she said I have something of consequence to inform you of which I was on the point of communicating by paper I am charged with a most agreeable office breathing rather faster than usual as she spoke Colonel Brandon who was here only ten minutes ago has desired me to say that understanding you mean to take orders he has great pleasure in offering you the living of Delaford now just vacant and only wishes it were more valuable Allow me to congratulate you on having so respectable and well judging a friend and to join in his wish that the living it is about two hundred a year were much more considerable and such as might better enable you to as might be more than a temporary accommodation to yourself such in short as might establish all your views of happiness {para} What Edward felt as he could not say it himself it cannot be expected that any one else should say for him He LOOKED all the astonishment which such unexpected such unthought of information could not fail of exciting but he said only these two words {para} Colonel Brandon {para} Yes continued Elinor gathering more resolution as some of the worst was over Colonel Brandon means it as a testimony of his concern for what has lately passed for the cruel situation in which the unjustifiable conduct of your family has placed you a concern which I am sure Marianne myself and all your friends must share and likewise as a proof of his high esteem for your general character and his particular approbation of your behaviour on the present occasion {para} Colonel Brandon give ME a living Can it be possible {para} The unkindness of your own relations has made you astonished to find friendship any where {para} No replied be with sudden consciousness not to find it in YOU for I cannot be ignorant that to you to your goodness I owe it all I feel it I would express it if I could but as you well know I am no orator {para} You are very much mistaken I do assure you that you owe it entirely at least almost entirely to your own merit and Colonel Brandon 's discernment of it I have had no hand in it I did not even know till I understood his design that the living was vacant nor had it ever occurred to me that he might have had such a living in his gift As a friend of mine of my family he may perhaps indeed I know he HAS still greater pleasure in bestowing it but upon my word you owe nothing to my solicitation {para} Truth obliged her to acknowledge some small share in the action but she was at the same time so unwilling to appear as the benefactress of Edward that she acknowledged it with hesitation which probably contributed to fix that suspicion in his mind which had recently entered it For a short time he sat deep in thought after Elinor had ceased to speak at last and as if it were rather an effort he said {para} Colonel Brandon seems a man of great worth and respectability I have always heard him spoken of as such and your brother I know esteems him highly He is undoubtedly a sensible man and in his manners perfectly the gentleman {para} Indeed replied Elinor I believe that you will find him on farther acquaintance all that you have heard him to be and as you will be such very near neighbours for I understand the parsonage is almost close to the mansion house it is particularly important that he SHOULD be all this {para} Edward made no answer but when she had turned away her head gave her a look so serious so earnest so uncheerful as seemed to say that he might hereafter wish the distance between the parsonage and the mansion house much greater {para} Colonel Brandon I think lodges in St James Street said he soon afterwards rising from his chair {para} Elinor told him the number of the house {para} I must hurry away then to give him those thanks which you will not allow me to give YOU to assure him that he has made me a very an exceedingly happy man {para} Elinor did not offer to detain him and they parted with a very earnest assurance on HER side of her unceasing good wishes for his happiness in every change of situation that might befall him on HIS with rather an attempt to return the same good will than the power of expressing it {para} When I see him again said Elinor to herself as the door shut him out I shall see him the husband of Lucy {para} And with this pleasing anticipation she sat down to reconsider the past recall the words and endeavour to comprehend all the feelings of Edward and of course to reflect on her own with discontent {para} When Mrs Jennings came home though she returned from seeing people whom she had never seen before and of whom therefore she must have a great deal to say her mind was so much more occupied by the important secret in her possession than by anything else that she reverted to it again as soon as Elinor appeared {para} Well my dear she cried I sent you up to the young man Did not I do right And I suppose you had no great difficulty You did not find him very unwilling to accept your proposal {para} No ma'am THAT was not very likely {para} Well and how soon will he be ready For it seems all to depend upon that {para} Really said Elinor I know so little of these kind of forms that I can hardly even conjecture as to the time or the preparation necessary but I suppose two or three months will complete his ordination {para} Two or three months cried Mrs Jennings Lord my dear how calmly you talk of it and can the Colonel wait two or three months Lord bless me I am sure it would put ME quite out of patience And though one would be very glad to do a kindness by poor Mr Ferrars I do think it is not worth while to wait two or three months for him Sure somebody else might be found that would do as well somebody that is in orders already {para} My dear ma'am said Elinor what can you be thinking of Why Colonel Brandon 's only object is to be of use to Mr Ferrars {para} Lord bless you my dear Sure you do not mean to persuade me that the Colonel only marries you for the sake of giving ten guineas to Mr Ferrars {para} The deception could not continue after this and an explanation immediately took place by which both gained considerable amusement for the moment without any material loss of happiness to either for Mrs Jennings only exchanged one form of delight for another and still without forfeiting her expectation of the first {para} Aye aye the parsonage is but a small one said she after the first ebullition of surprise and satisfaction was over and very likely MAY be out of repair but to hear a man apologising as I thought for a house that to my knowledge has five sitting rooms on the ground floor and I think the housekeeper told me could make up fifteen beds and to you too that had been used to live in Barton cottage It seems quite ridiculous But my dear we must touch up the Colonel to do some thing to the parsonage and make it comfortable for them before Lucy goes to it {para} But Colonel Brandon does not seem to have any idea of the living 's being enough to allow them to marry {para} The Colonel is a ninny my dear because he has two thousand a year himself he thinks that nobody else can marry on less Take my word for it that if I am alive I shall be paying a visit at Delaford Parsonage before Michaelmas and I am sure I sha'nt go if Lucy an't there {para} Elinor was quite of her opinion as to the probability of their not waiting for any thing more {para} CHAPTER 41 {para} Edward having carried his thanks to Colonel Brandon proceeded with his happiness to Lucy and such was the excess of it by the time he reached Bartlett 's Buildings that she was able to assure Mrs Jennings who called on her again the next day with her congratulations that she had never seen him in such spirits before in her life {para} Her own happiness and her own spirits were at least very certain and she joined Mrs Jennings most heartily in her expectation of their being all comfortably together in Delaford Parsonage before Michaelmas So far was she at the same time from any backwardness to give Elinor that credit which Edward WOULD give her that she spoke of her friendship for them both with the most grateful warmth was ready to own all their obligation to her and openly declared that no exertion for their good on Miss Dashwood 's part either present or future would ever surprise her for she believed her capable of doing any thing in the world for those she really valued As for Colonel Brandon she was not only ready to worship him as a saint but was moreover truly anxious that he should be treated as one in all worldly concerns anxious that his tithes should be raised to the utmost and scarcely resolved to avail herself at Delaford as far as she possibly could of his servants his carriage his cows and his poultry {para} It was now above a week since John Dashwood had called in Berkeley Street and as since that time no notice had been taken by them of his wife 's indisposition beyond one verbal enquiry Elinor began to feel it necessary to pay her a visit This was an obligation however which not only opposed her own inclination but which had not the assistance of any encouragement from her companions Marianne not contented with absolutely refusing to go herself was very urgent to prevent her sister 's going at all and Mrs Jennings though her carriage was always at Elinor 's service so very much disliked Mrs John Dashwood that not even her curiosity to see how she looked after the late discovery nor her strong desire to affront her by taking Edward 's part could overcome her unwillingness to be in her company again The consequence was that Elinor set out by herself to pay a visit for which no one could really have less inclination and to run the risk of a tete a tete with a woman whom neither of the others had so much reason to dislike {para} Mrs Dashwood was denied but before the carriage could turn from the house her husband accidentally came out He expressed great pleasure in meeting Elinor told her that he had been just going to call in Berkeley Street and assuring her that Fanny would be very glad to see her invited her to come in {para} They walked up stairs in to the drawing room Nobody was there {para} Fanny is in her own room I suppose said he I will go to her presently for I am sure she will not have the least objection in the world to seeing YOU Very far from it indeed NOW especially there cannot be but however you and Marianne were always great favourites Why would not Marianne come {para} Elinor made what excuse she could for her {para} I am not sorry to see you alone he replied for I have a good deal to say to you This living of Colonel Brandon 's can it be true has he really given it to Edward I heard it yesterday by chance and was coming to you on purpose to enquire farther about it {para} It is perfectly true Colonel Brandon has given the living of Delaford to Edward {para} Really Well this is very astonishing no relationship no connection between them and now that livings fetch such a price what was the value of this {para} About two hundred a year {para} Very well and for the next presentation to a living of that value supposing the late incumbent to have been old and sickly and likely to vacate it soon he might have got I dare say fourteen hundred pounds And how came he not to have settled that matter before this person 's death NOW indeed it would be too late to sell it but a man of Colonel Brandon 's sense I wonder he should be so improvident in a point of such common such natural concern Well I am convinced that there is a vast deal of inconsistency in almost every human character I suppose however on recollection that the case may probably be THIS Edward is only to hold the living till the person to whom the Colonel has really sold the presentation is old enough to take it Aye aye that is the fact depend upon it {para} Elinor contradicted it however very positively and by relating that she had herself been employed in conveying the offer from Colonel Brandon to Edward and therefore must understand the terms on which it was given obliged him to submit to her authority {para} It is truly astonishing he cried after hearing what she said what could be the Colonel 's motive {para} A very simple one to be of use to Mr Ferrars {para} Well well whatever Colonel Brandon may be Edward is a very lucky man You will not mention the matter to Fanny however for though I have broke it to her and she bears it vastly well she will not like to hear it much talked of {para} Elinor had some difficulty here to refrain from observing that she thought Fanny might have borne with composure an acquisition of wealth to her brother by which neither she nor her child could be possibly impoverished {para} Mrs Ferrars added he lowering his voice to the tone becoming so important a subject knows nothing about it at present and I believe it will be best to keep it entirely concealed from her as long as may be When the marriage takes place I fear she must hear of it all {para} But why should such precaution be used Though it is not to be supposed that Mrs Ferrars can have the smallest satisfaction in knowing that her son has money enough to live upon for THAT must be quite out of the question yet why upon her late behaviour is she supposed to feel at all She has done with her son she cast him off for ever and has made all those over whom she had any influence cast him off likewise Surely after doing so she cannot be imagined liable to any impression of sorrow or of joy on his account she cannot be interested in any thing that befalls him She would not be so weak as to throw away the comfort of a child and yet retain the anxiety of a parent {para} Ah Elinor said John your reasoning is very good but it is founded on ignorance of human nature When Edward 's unhappy match takes place depend upon it his mother will feel as much as if she had never discarded him and therefore every circumstance that may accelerate that dreadful event must be concealed from her as much as possible Mrs Ferrars can never forget that Edward is her son {para} You surprise me I should think it must nearly have escaped her memory by THIS time {para} You wrong her exceedingly Mrs Ferrars is one of the most affectionate mothers in the world {para} Elinor was silent {para} We think NOW said Mr Dashwood after a short pause of ROBERT 'S marrying Miss Morton {para} Elinor smiling at the grave and decisive importance of her brother 's tone calmly replied {para} The lady I suppose has no choice in the affair {para} Choice how do you mean {para} I only mean that I suppose from your manner of speaking it must be the same to Miss Morton whether she marry Edward or Robert {para} Certainly there can be no difference for Robert will now to all intents and purposes be considered as the eldest son and as to any thing else they are both very agreeable young men I do not know that one is superior to the other {para} Elinor said no more and John was also for a short time silent His reflections ended thus {para} Of ONE thing my dear sister kindly taking her hand and speaking in an awful whisper I may assure you and I WILL do it because I know it must gratify you I have good reason to think indeed I have it from the best authority or I should not repeat it for otherwise it would be very wrong to say any thing about it but I have it from the very best authority not that I ever precisely heard Mrs Ferrars say it herself but her daughter DID and I have it from her That in short whatever objections there might be against a certain a certain connection you understand me it would have been far preferable to her it would not have given her half the vexation that THIS does I was exceedingly pleased to hear that Mrs Ferrars considered it in that light a very gratifying circumstance you know to us all It would have been beyond comparison she said the least evil of the two and she would be glad to compound NOW for nothing worse But however all that is quite out of the question not to be thought of or mentioned as to any attachment you know it never could be all that is gone by But I thought I would just tell you of this because I knew how much it must please you Not that you have any reason to regret my dear Elinor There is no doubt of your doing exceedingly well quite as well or better perhaps all things considered Has Colonel Brandon been with you lately {para} Elinor had heard enough if not to gratify her vanity and raise her self importance to agitate her nerves and fill her mind and she was therefore glad to be spared from the necessity of saying much in reply herself and from the danger of hearing any thing more from her brother by the entrance of Mr Robert Ferrars After a few moments chat John Dashwood recollecting that Fanny was yet uninformed of her sister 's being there quitted the room in quest of her and Elinor was left to improve her acquaintance with Robert who by the gay unconcern the happy self complacency of his manner while enjoying so unfair a division of his mother 's love and liberality to the prejudice of his banished brother earned only by his own dissipated course of life and that brother 's integrity was confirming her most unfavourable opinion of his head and heart {para} They had scarcely been two minutes by themselves before he began to speak of Edward for he too had heard of the living and was very inquisitive on the subject Elinor repeated the particulars of it as she had given them to John and their effect on Robert though very different was not less striking than it had been on HIM He laughed most immoderately The idea of Edward 's being a clergyman and living in a small parsonage house diverted him beyond measure and when to that was added the fanciful imagery of Edward reading prayers in a white surplice and publishing the banns of marriage between John Smith and Mary Brown he could conceive nothing more ridiculous {para} Elinor while she waited in silence and immovable gravity the conclusion of such folly could not restrain her eyes from being fixed on him with a look that spoke all the contempt it excited It was a look however very well bestowed for it relieved her own feelings and gave no intelligence to him He was recalled from wit to wisdom not by any reproof of her 's but by his own sensibility {para} We may treat it as a joke said he at last recovering from the affected laugh which had considerably lengthened out the genuine gaiety of the moment but upon my soul it is a most serious business Poor Edward he is ruined for ever I am extremely sorry for it for I know him to be a very good hearted creature as well meaning a fellow perhaps as any in the world You must not judge of him Miss Dashwood from YOUR slight acquaintance Poor Edward His manners are certainly not the happiest in nature But we are not all born you know with the same powers the same address Poor fellow to see him in a circle of strangers to be sure it was pitiable enough but upon my soul I believe he has as good a heart as any in the kingdom and I declare and protest to you I never was so shocked in my life as when it all burst forth I could not believe it My mother was the first person who told me of it and I feeling myself called on to act with resolution immediately said to her My dear madam I do not know what you may intend to do on the occasion but as for myself I must say that if Edward does marry this young woman I never will see him again That was what I said immediately I was most uncommonly shocked indeed Poor Edward he has done for himself completely shut himself out for ever from all decent society but as I directly said to my mother I am not in the least surprised at it from his style of education it was always to be expected My poor mother was half frantic {para} Have you ever seen the lady {para} Yes once while she was staying in this house I happened to drop in for ten minutes and I saw quite enough of her The merest awkward country girl without style or elegance and almost without beauty I remember her perfectly Just the kind of girl I should suppose likely to captivate poor Edward I offered immediately as soon as my mother related the affair to me to talk to him myself and dissuade him from the match but it was too late THEN I found to do any thing for unluckily I was not in the way at first and knew nothing of it till after the breach had taken place when it was not for me you know to interfere But had I been informed of it a few hours earlier I think it is most probable that something might have been hit on I certainly should have represented it to Edward in a very strong light My dear fellow I should have said consider what you are doing You are making a most disgraceful connection and such a one as your family are unanimous in disapproving I cannot help thinking in short that means might have been found But now it is all too late He must be starved you know that is certain absolutely starved {para} He had just settled this point with great composure when the entrance of Mrs John Dashwood put an end to the subject But though SHE never spoke of it out of her own family Elinor could see its influence on her mind in the something like confusion of countenance with which she entered and an attempt at cordiality in her behaviour to herself She even proceeded so far as to be concerned to find that Elinor and her sister were so soon to leave town as she had hoped to see more of them an exertion in which her husband who attended her into the room and hung enamoured over her accents seemed to distinguish every thing that was most affectionate and graceful {para} CHAPTER 42 {para} One other short call in Harley Street in which Elinor received her brother 's congratulations on their travelling so far towards Barton without any expense and on Colonel Brandon 's being to follow them to Cleveland in a day or two completed the intercourse of the brother and sisters in town and a faint invitation from Fanny to come to Norland whenever it should happen to be in their way which of all things was the most unlikely to occur with a more warm though less public assurance from John to Elinor of the promptitude with which he should come to see her at Delaford was all that foretold any meeting in the country {para} It amused her to observe that all her friends seemed determined to send her to Delaford a place in which of all others she would now least chuse to visit or wish to reside for not only was it considered as her future home by her brother and Mrs Jennings but even Lucy when they parted gave her a pressing invitation to visit her there {para} Very early in April and tolerably early in the day the two parties from Hanover Square and Berkeley Street set out from their respective homes to meet by appointment on the road For the convenience of Charlotte and her child they were to be more than two days on their journey and Mr Palmer travelling more expeditiously with Colonel Brandon was to join them at Cleveland soon after their arrival {para} Marianne few as had been her hours of comfort in London and eager as she had long been to quit it could not when it came to the point bid adieu to the house in which she had for the last time enjoyed those hopes and that confidence in Willoughby which were now extinguished for ever without great pain Nor could she leave the place in which Willoughby remained busy in new engagements and new schemes in which SHE could have no share without shedding many tears {para} Elinor 's satisfaction at the moment of removal was more positive She had no such object for her lingering thoughts to fix on she left no creature behind from whom it would give her a moment 's regret to be divided for ever she was pleased to be free herself from the persecution of Lucy 's friendship she was grateful for bringing her sister away unseen by Willoughby since his marriage and she looked forward with hope to what a few months of tranquility at Barton might do towards restoring Marianne 's peace of mind and confirming her own {para} Their journey was safely performed The second day brought them into the cherished or the prohibited county of Somerset for as such was it dwelt on by turns in Marianne 's imagination and in the forenoon of the third they drove up to Cleveland {para} Cleveland was a spacious modern built house situated on a sloping lawn It had no park but the pleasure grounds were tolerably extensive and like every other place of the same degree of importance it had its open shrubbery and closer wood walk a road of smooth gravel winding round a plantation led to the front the lawn was dotted over with timber the house itself was under the guardianship of the fir the mountain ash and the acacia and a thick screen of them altogether interspersed with tall Lombardy poplars shut out the offices {para} Marianne entered the house with a heart swelling with emotion from the consciousness of being only eighty miles from Barton and not thirty from Combe Magna and before she had been five minutes within its walls while the others were busily helping Charlotte to show her child to the housekeeper she quitted it again stealing away through the winding shrubberies now just beginning to be in beauty to gain a distant eminence where from its Grecian temple her eye wandering over a wide tract of country to the south east could fondly rest on the farthest ridge of hills in the horizon and fancy that from their summits Combe Magna might be seen {para} In such moments of precious invaluable misery she rejoiced in tears of agony to be at Cleveland and as she returned by a different circuit to the house feeling all the happy privilege of country liberty of wandering from place to place in free and luxurious solitude she resolved to spend almost every hour of every day while she remained with the Palmers in the indulgence of such solitary rambles {para} She returned just in time to join the others as they quitted the house on an excursion through its more immediate premises and the rest of the morning was easily whiled away in lounging round the kitchen garden examining the bloom upon its walls and listening to the gardener 's lamentations upon blights in dawdling through the green house where the loss of her favourite plants unwarily exposed and nipped by the lingering frost raised the laughter of Charlotte and in visiting her poultry yard where in the disappointed hopes of her dairy maid by hens forsaking their nests or being stolen by a fox or in the rapid decrease of a promising young brood she found fresh sources of merriment {para} The morning was fine and dry and Marianne in her plan of employment abroad had not calculated for any change of weather during their stay at Cleveland With great surprise therefore did she find herself prevented by a settled rain from going out again after dinner She had depended on a twilight walk to the Grecian temple and perhaps all over the grounds and an evening merely cold or damp would not have deterred her from it but a heavy and settled rain even SHE could not fancy dry or pleasant weather for walking {para} Their party was small and the hours passed quietly away Mrs Palmer had her child and Mrs Jennings her carpet work they talked of the friends they had left behind arranged Lady Middleton 's engagements and wondered whether Mr Palmer and Colonel Brandon would get farther than Reading that night Elinor however little concerned in it joined in their discourse and Marianne who had the knack of finding her way in every house to the library however it might be avoided by the family in general soon procured herself a book {para} Nothing was wanting on Mrs Palmer 's side that constant and friendly good humour could do to make them feel themselves welcome The openness and heartiness of her manner more than atoned for that want of recollection and elegance which made her often deficient in the forms of politeness her kindness recommended by so pretty a face was engaging her folly though evident was not disgusting because it was not conceited and Elinor could have forgiven every thing but her laugh {para} The two gentlemen arrived the next day to a very late dinner affording a pleasant enlargement of the party and a very welcome variety to their conversation which a long morning of the same continued rain had reduced very low {para} Elinor had seen so little of Mr Palmer and in that little had seen so much variety in his address to her sister and herself that she knew not what to expect to find him in his own family She found him however perfectly the gentleman in his behaviour to all his visitors and only occasionally rude to his wife and her mother she found him very capable of being a pleasant companion and only prevented from being so always by too great an aptitude to fancy himself as much superior to people in general as he must feel himself to be to Mrs Jennings and Charlotte For the rest of his character and habits they were marked as far as Elinor could perceive with no traits at all unusual in his sex and time of life He was nice in his eating uncertain in his hours fond of his child though affecting to slight it and idled away the mornings at billiards which ought to have been devoted to business She liked him however upon the whole much better than she had expected and in her heart was not sorry that she could like him no more not sorry to be driven by the observation of his Epicurism his selfishness and his conceit to rest with complacency on the remembrance of Edward 's generous temper simple taste and diffident feelings {para} Of Edward or at least of some of his concerns she now received intelligence from Colonel Brandon who had been into Dorsetshire lately and who treating her at once as the disinterested friend of Mr Ferrars and the kind of confidant of himself talked to her a great deal of the parsonage at Delaford described its deficiencies and told her what he meant to do himself towards removing them His behaviour to her in this as well as in every other particular his open pleasure in meeting her after an absence of only ten days his readiness to converse with her and his deference for her opinion might very well justify Mrs Jennings 's persuasion of his attachment and would have been enough perhaps had not Elinor still as from the first believed Marianne his real favourite to make her suspect it herself But as it was such a notion had scarcely ever entered her head except by Mrs Jennings 's suggestion and she could not help believing herself the nicest observer of the two she watched his eyes while Mrs Jennings thought only of his behaviour and while his looks of anxious solicitude on Marianne 's feeling in her head and throat the beginning of a heavy cold because unexpressed by words entirely escaped the latter lady 's observation SHE could discover in them the quick feelings and needless alarm of a lover {para} Two delighful twilight walks on the third and fourth evenings of her being there not merely on the dry gravel of the shrubbery but all over the grounds and especially in the most distant parts of them where there was something more of wildness than in the rest where the trees were the oldest and the grass was the longest and wettest had assisted by the still greater imprudence of sitting in her wet shoes and stockings given Marianne a cold so violent as though for a day or two trifled with or denied would force itself by increasing ailments on the concern of every body and the notice of herself Prescriptions poured in from all quarters and as usual were all declined Though heavy and feverish with a pain in her limbs and a cough and a sore throat a good night 's rest was to cure her entirely and it was with difficulty that Elinor prevailed on her when she went to bed to try one or two of the simplest of the remedies {para} CHAPTER 43 {para} Marianne got up the next morning at her usual time to every inquiry replied that she was better and tried to prove herself so by engaging in her accustomary employments But a day spent in sitting shivering over the fire with a book in her hand which she was unable to read or in lying weary and languid on a sofa did not speak much in favour of her amendment and when at last she went early to bed more and more indisposed Colonel Brandon was only astonished at her sister 's composure who though attending and nursing her the whole day against Marianne inclination and forcing proper medicines on her at night trusted like Marianne to the certainty and efficacy of sleep and felt no real alarm {para} A very restless and feverish night however disappointed the expectation of both and when Marianne after persisting in rising confessed herself unable to sit up and returned voluntarily to her bed Elinor was very ready to adopt Mrs Jennings 's advice of sending for the Palmers apothecary {para} He came examined his patient and though encouraging Miss Dashwood to expect that a very few days would restore her sister to health yet by pronouncing her disorder to have a putrid tendency and allowing the word infection to pass his lips gave instant alarm to Mrs Palmer on her baby 's account Mrs Jennings who had been inclined from the first to think Marianne 's complaint more serious than Elinor now looked very grave on Mr Harris 's report and confirming Charlotte 's fears and caution urged the necessity of her immediate removal with her infant and Mr Palmer though treating their apprehensions as idle found the anxiety and importunity of his wife too great to be withstood Her departure therefore was fixed on and within an hour after Mr Harris 's arrival she set off with her little boy and his nurse for the house of a near relation of Mr Palmer 's who lived a few miles on the other side of Bath whither her husband promised at her earnest entreaty to join her in a day or two and whither she was almost equally urgent with her mother to accompany her Mrs Jennings however with a kindness of heart which made Elinor really love her declared her resolution of not stirring from Cleveland as long as Marianne remained ill and of endeavouring by her own attentive care to supply to her the place of the mother she had taken her from and Elinor found her on every occasion a most willing and active helpmate desirous to share in all her fatigues and often by her better experience in nursing of material use {para} Poor Marianne languid and low from the nature of her malady and feeling herself universally ill could no longer hope that tomorrow would find her recovered and the idea of what tomorrow would have produced but for this unlucky illness made every ailment severe for on that day they were to have begun their journey home and attended the whole way by a servant of Mrs Jennings were to have taken their mother by surprise on the following forenoon The little she said was all in lamentation of this inevitable delay though Elinor tried to raise her spirits and make her believe as she THEN really believed herself that it would be a very short one {para} The next day produced little or no alteration in the state of the patient she certainly was not better and except that there was no amendment did not appear worse Their party was now farther reduced for Mr Palmer though very unwilling to go as well from real humanity and good nature as from a dislike of appearing to be frightened away by his wife was persuaded at last by Colonel Brandon to perform his promise of following her and while he was preparing to go Colonel Brandon himself with a much greater exertion began to talk of going likewise Here however the kindness of Mrs Jennings interposed most acceptably for to send the Colonel away while his love was in so much uneasiness on her sister 's account would be to deprive them both she thought of every comfort and therefore telling him at once that his stay at Cleveland was necessary to herself that she should want him to play at piquet of an evening while Miss Dashwood was above with her sister &c she urged him so strongly to remain that he who was gratifying the first wish of his own heart by a compliance could not long even affect to demur especially as Mrs Jennings 's entreaty was warmly seconded by Mr Palmer who seemed to feel a relief to himself in leaving behind him a person so well able to assist or advise Miss Dashwood in any emergence {para} Marianne was of course kept in ignorance of all these arrangements She knew not that she had been the means of sending the owners of Cleveland away in about seven days from the time of their arrival It gave her no surprise that she saw nothing of Mrs Palmer and as it gave her likewise no concern she never mentioned her name {para} Two days passed away from the time of Mr Palmer 's departure and her situation continued with little variation the same Mr Harris who attended her every day still talked boldly of a speedy recovery and Miss Dashwood was equally sanguine but the expectation of the others was by no means so cheerful Mrs Jennings had determined very early in the seizure that Marianne would never get over it and Colonel Brandon who was chiefly of use in listening to Mrs Jennings 's forebodings was not in a state of mind to resist their influence He tried to reason himself out of fears which the different judgment of the apothecary seemed to render absurd but the many hours of each day in which he was left entirely alone were but too favourable for the admission of every melancholy idea and he could not expel from his mind the persuasion that he should see Marianne no more {para} On the morning of the third day however the gloomy anticipations of both were almost done away for when Mr Harris arrived he declared his patient materially better Her pulse was much stronger and every symptom more favourable than on the preceding visit Elinor confirmed in every pleasant hope was all cheerfulness rejoicing that in her letters to her mother she had pursued her own judgment rather than her friend 's in making very light of the indisposition which delayed them at Cleveland and almost fixing on the time when Marianne would be able to travel {para} But the day did not close so auspiciously as it began Towards the evening Marianne became ill again growing more heavy restless and uncomfortable than before Her sister however still sanguine was willing to attribute the change to nothing more than the fatigue of having sat up to have her bed made and carefully administering the cordials prescribed saw her with satisfaction sink at last into a slumber from which she expected the most beneficial effects Her sleep though not so quiet as Elinor wished to see it lasted a considerable time and anxious to observe the result of it herself she resolved to sit with her during the whole of it Mrs Jennings knowing nothing of any change in the patient went unusually early to bed her maid who was one of the principal nurses was recreating herself in the housekeeper 's room and Elinor remained alone with Marianne {para} The repose of the latter became more and more disturbed and her sister who watched with unremitting attention her continual change of posture and heard the frequent but inarticulate sounds of complaint which passed her lips was almost wishing to rouse her from so painful a slumber when Marianne suddenly awakened by some accidental noise in the house started hastily up and with feverish wildness cried out {para} Is mama coming {para} Not yet cried the other concealing her terror and assisting Marianne to lie down again but she will be here I hope before it is long It is a great way you know from hence to Barton {para} But she must not go round by London cried Marianne in the same hurried manner I shall never see her if she goes by London {para} Elinor perceived with alarm that she was not quite herself and while attempting to soothe her eagerly felt her pulse It was lower and quicker than ever and Marianne still talking wildly of mama her alarm increased so rapidly as to determine her on sending instantly for Mr Harris and despatching a messenger to Barton for her mother To consult with Colonel Brandon on the best means of effecting the latter was a thought which immediately followed the resolution of its performance and as soon she had rung up the maid to take her place by her sister she hastened down to the drawing room where she knew he was generally to be found at a much later hour than the present {para} It was no time for hesitation Her fears and her difficulties were immediately before him Her fears he had no courage no confidence to attempt the removal of he listened to them in silent despondence but her difficulties were instantly obviated for with a readiness that seemed to speak the occasion and the service pre arranged in his mind he offered himself as the messenger who should fetch Mrs Dashwood Elinor made no resistance that was not easily overcome She thanked him with brief though fervent gratitude and while he went to hurry off his servant with a message to Mr Harris and an order for post horses directly she wrote a few lines to her mother {para} The comfort of such a friend at that moment as Colonel Brandon or such a companion for her mother how gratefully was it felt a companion whose judgment would guide whose attendance must relieve and whose friendship might soothe her as far as the shock of such a summons COULD be lessened to her his presence his manners his assistance would lessen it {para} HE meanwhile whatever he might feel acted with all the firmness of a collected mind made every necessary arrangement with the utmost despatch and calculated with exactness the time in which she might look for his return Not a moment was lost in delay of any kind The horses arrived even before they were expected and Colonel Brandon only pressing her hand with a look of solemnity and a few words spoken too low to reach her ear hurried into the carriage It was then about twelve o'clock and she returned to her sister 's apartment to wait for the arrival of the apothecary and to watch by her the rest of the night It was a night of almost equal suffering to both Hour after hour passed away in sleepless pain and delirium on Marianne 's side and in the most cruel anxiety on Elinor 's before Mr Harris appeared Her apprehensions once raised paid by their excess for all her former security and the servant who sat up with her for she would not allow Mrs Jennings to be called only tortured her more by hints of what her mistress had always thought {para} Marianne 's ideas were still at intervals fixed incoherently on her mother and whenever she mentioned her name it gave a pang to the heart of poor Elinor who reproaching herself for having trifled with so many days of illness and wretched for some immediate relief fancied that all relief might soon be in vain that every thing had been delayed too long and pictured to herself her suffering mother arriving too late to see this darling child or to see her rational {para} She was on the point of sending again for Mr Harris or if HE could not come for some other advice when the former but not till after five o'clock arrived His opinion however made some little amends for his delay for though acknowledging a very unexpected and unpleasant alteration in his patient he would not allow the danger to be material and talked of the relief which a fresh mode of treatment must procure with a confidence which in a lesser degree was communicated to Elinor He promised to call again in the course of three or four hours and left both the patient and her anxious attendant more composed than he had found them {para} With strong concern and with many reproaches for not being called to their aid did Mrs Jennings hear in the morning of what had passed Her former apprehensions now with greater reason restored left her no doubt of the event and though trying to speak comfort to Elinor her conviction of her sister 's danger would not allow her to offer the comfort of hope Her heart was really grieved The rapid decay the early death of a girl so young so lovely as Marianne must have struck a less interested person with concern On Mrs Jennings 's compassion she had other claims She had been for three months her companion was still under her care and she was known to have been greatly injured and long unhappy The distress of her sister too particularly a favourite was before her and as for their mother when Mrs Jennings considered that Marianne might probably be to HER what Charlotte was to herself her sympathy in HER sufferings was very sincere {para} Mr Harris was punctual in his second visit but he came to be disappointed in his hopes of what the last would produce His medicines had failed the fever was unabated and Marianne only more quiet not more herself remained in a heavy stupor Elinor catching all and more than all his fears in a moment proposed to call in further advice But he judged it unnecessary he had still something more to try some more fresh application of whose success he was as confident as the last and his visit concluded with encouraging assurances which reached the ear but could not enter the heart of Miss Dashwood She was calm except when she thought of her mother but she was almost hopeless and in this state she continued till noon scarcely stirring from her sister 's bed her thoughts wandering from one image of grief one suffering friend to another and her spirits oppressed to the utmost by the conversation of Mrs Jennings who scrupled not to attribute the severity and danger of this attack to the many weeks of previous indisposition which Marianne 's disappointment had brought on Elinor felt all the reasonableness of the idea and it gave fresh misery to her reflections {para} About noon however she began but with a caution a dread of disappointment which for some time kept her silent even to her friend to fancy to hope she could perceive a slight amendment in her sister 's pulse she waited watched and examined it again and again and at last with an agitation more difficult to bury under exterior calmness than all her foregoing distress ventured to communicate her hopes Mrs Jennings though forced on examination to acknowledge a temporary revival tried to keep her young friend from indulging a thought of its continuance and Elinor conning over every injunction of distrust told herself likewise not to hope But it was too late Hope had already entered and feeling all its anxious flutter she bent over her sister to watch she hardly knew for what Half an hour passed away and the favourable symptom yet blessed her Others even arose to confirm it Her breath her skin her lips all flattered Elinor with signs of amendment and Marianne fixed her eyes on her with a rational though languid gaze Anxiety and hope now oppressed her in equal degrees and left her no moment of tranquillity till the arrival of Mr Harris at four o'clock when his assurances his felicitations on a recovery in her sister even surpassing his expectation gave her confidence comfort and tears of joy {para} Marianne was in every respect materially better and he declared her entirely out of danger Mrs Jennings perhaps satisfied with the partial justification of her forebodings which had been found in their late alarm allowed herself to trust in his judgment and admitted with unfeigned joy and soon with unequivocal cheerfulness the probability of an entire recovery {para} Elinor could not be cheerful Her joy was of a different kind and led to any thing rather than to gaiety Marianne restored to life health friends and to her doting mother was an idea to fill her heart with sensations of exquisite comfort and expand it in fervent gratitude but it lead to no outward demonstrations of joy no words no smiles All within Elinor 's breast was satisfaction silent and strong {para} She continued by the side of her sister with little intermission the whole afternoon calming every fear satisfying every inquiry of her enfeebled spirits supplying every succour and watching almost every look and every breath The possibility of a relapse would of course in some moments occur to remind her of what anxiety was but when she saw on her frequent and minute examination that every symptom of recovery continued and saw Marianne at six o'clock sink into a quiet steady and to all appearance comfortable sleep she silenced every doubt {para} The time was now drawing on when Colonel Brandon might be expected back At ten o'clock she trusted or at least not much later her mother would be relieved from the dreadful suspense in which she must now be travelling towards them The Colonel too perhaps scarcely less an object of pity Oh how slow was the progress of time which yet kept them in ignorance {para} At seven o'clock leaving Marianne still sweetly asleep she joined Mrs Jennings in the drawing room to tea Of breakfast she had been kept by her fears and of dinner by their sudden reverse from eating much and the present refreshment therefore with such feelings of content as she brought to it was particularly welcome Mrs Jennings would have persuaded her at its conclusion to take some rest before her mother 's arrival and allow HER to take her place by Marianne but Elinor had no sense of fatigue no capability of sleep at that moment about her and she was not to be kept away from her sister an unnecessary instant Mrs Jennings therefore attending her up stairs into the sick chamber to satisfy herself that all continued right left her there again to her charge and her thoughts and retired to her own room to write letters and sleep {para} The night was cold and stormy The wind roared round the house and the rain beat against the windows but Elinor all happiness within regarded it not Marianne slept through every blast and the travellers they had a rich reward in store for every present inconvenience {para} The clock struck eight Had it been ten Elinor would have been convinced that at that moment she heard a carriage driving up to the house and so strong was the persuasion that she DID in spite of the ALMOST impossibility of their being already come that she moved into the adjoining dressing closet and opened a window shutter to be satisfied of the truth She instantly saw that her ears had not deceived her The flaring lamps of a carriage were immediately in view By their uncertain light she thought she could discern it to be drawn by four horses and this while it told the excess of her poor mother 's alarm gave some explanation to such unexpected rapidity {para} Never in her life had Elinor found it so difficult to be calm as at that moment The knowledge of what her mother must be feeling as the carriage stopt at the door of her doubt her dread perhaps her despair and of what SHE had to tell with such knowledge it was impossible to be calm All that remained to be done was to be speedy and therefore staying only till she could leave Mrs Jennings 's maid with her sister she hurried down stairs {para} The bustle in the vestibule as she passed along an inner lobby assured her that they were already in the house She rushed to the drawing room she entered it and saw only Willoughby {para} CHAPTER 44 {para} Elinor starting back with a look of horror at the sight of him obeyed the first impulse of her heart in turning instantly to quit the room and her hand was already on the lock when its action was suspended by his hastily advancing and saying in a voice rather of command than supplication {para} Miss Dashwood for half an hour for ten minutes I entreat you to stay {para} No sir she replied with firmness I shall NOT stay Your business cannot be with ME The servants I suppose forgot to tell you that Mr Palmer was not in the house {para} Had they told me he cried with vehemence that Mr Palmer and all his relations were at the devil it would not have turned me from the door My business is with you and only you {para} With me in the utmost amazement well sir be quick and if you can less violent {para} Sit down and I will be both {para} She hesitated she knew not what to do The possibility of Colonel Brandon 's arriving and finding her there came across her But she had promised to hear him and her curiosity no less than her honor was engaged After a moment 's recollection therefore concluding that prudence required dispatch and that her acquiescence would best promote it she walked silently towards the table and sat down He took the opposite chair and for half a minute not a word was said by either {para} Pray be quick sir said Elinor impatiently I have no time to spare {para} He was sitting in an attitude of deep meditation and seemed not to hear her {para} Your sister said he with abruptness a moment afterwards is out of danger I heard it from the servant God be praised But is it true is it really true {para} Elinor would not speak He repeated the inquiry with yet greater eagerness {para} For God 's sake tell me is she out of danger or is she not {para} We hope she is {para} He rose up and walked across the room {para} Had I known as much half an hour ago But since I AM here speaking with a forced vivacity as he returned to his seat what does it signify For once Miss Dashwood it will be the last time perhaps let us be cheerful together I am in a fine mood for gaiety Tell me honestly a deeper glow overspreading his cheeks do you think me most a knave or a fool {para} Elinor looked at him with greater astonishment than ever She began to think that be must be in liquor the strangeness of such a visit and of such manners seemed no otherwise intelligible and with this impression she immediately rose saying {para} Mr Willoughby I advise you at present to return to Combe I am not at leisure to remain with you longer Whatever your business may be with me will it be better recollected and explained to morrow {para} I understand you he replied with an expressive smile and a voice perfectly calm yes I am very drunk A pint of porter with my cold beef at Marlborough was enough to over set me {para} At Marlborough cried Elinor more and more at a loss to understand what he would be at {para} Yes I left London this morning at eight o'clock and the only ten minutes I have spent out of my chaise since that time procured me a nuncheon at Marlborough {para} The steadiness of his manner and the intelligence of his eye as he spoke convincing Elinor that whatever other unpardonable folly might bring him to Cleveland he was not brought there by intoxication she said after a moment 's recollection {para} Mr Willoughby you OUGHT to feel and I certainly DO that after what has passed your coming here in this manner and forcing yourself upon my notice requires a very particular excuse What is it that you mean by it {para} I mean said he with serious energy if I can to make you hate me one degree less than you do NOW I mean to offer some kind of explanation some kind of apology for the past to open my whole heart to you and by convincing you that though I have been always a blockhead I have not been always a rascal to obtain something like forgiveness from Ma from your sister {para} Is this the real reason of your coming {para} Upon my soul it is was his answer with a warmth which brought all the former Willoughby to her remembrance and in spite of herself made her think him sincere {para} If that is all you may be satisfied already for Marianne DOES she has LONG forgiven you {para} Has she he cried in the same eager tone Then she has forgiven me before she ought to have done it But she shall forgive me again and on more reasonable grounds NOW will you listen to me {para} Elinor bowed her assent {para} I do not know said he after a pause of expectation on her side and thoughtfulness on his own how YOU may have accounted for my behaviour to your sister or what diabolical motive you may have imputed to me Perhaps you will hardly think the better of me it is worth the trial however and you shall hear every thing When I first became intimate in your family I had no other intention no other view in the acquaintance than to pass my time pleasantly while I was obliged to remain in Devonshire more pleasantly than I had ever done before Your sister 's lovely person and interesting manners could not but please me and her behaviour to me almost from the first was of a kind It is astonishing when I reflect on what it was and what SHE was that my heart should have been so insensible But at first I must confess my vanity only was elevated by it Careless of her happiness thinking only of my own amusement giving way to feelings which I had always been too much in the habit of indulging I endeavoured by every means in my power to make myself pleasing to her without any design of returning her affection {para} Miss Dashwood at this point turning her eyes on him with the most angry contempt stopped him by saying {para} It is hardly worth while Mr Willoughby for you to relate or for me to listen any longer Such a beginning as this cannot be followed by any thing Do not let me be pained by hearing any thing more on the subject {para} I insist on you hearing the whole of it he replied My fortune was never large and I had always been expensive always in the habit of associating with people of better income than myself Every year since my coming of age or even before I believe had added to my debts and though the death of my old cousin Mrs Smith was to set me free yet that event being uncertain and possibly far distant it had been for some time my intention to re establish my circumstances by marrying a woman of fortune To attach myself to your sister therefore was not a thing to be thought of and with a meanness selfishness cruelty which no indignant no contemptuous look even of yours Miss Dashwood can ever reprobate too much I was acting in this manner trying to engage her regard without a thought of returning it But one thing may be said for me even in that horrid state of selfish vanity I did not know the extent of the injury I meditated because I did not THEN know what it was to love But have I ever known it Well may it be doubted for had I really loved could I have sacrificed my feelings to vanity to avarice or what is more could I have sacrificed hers But I have done it To avoid a comparative poverty which her affection and her society would have deprived of all its horrors I have by raising myself to affluence lost every thing that could make it a blessing {para} You did then said Elinor a little softened believe yourself at one time attached to her {para} To have resisted such attractions to have withstood such tenderness Is there a man on earth who could have done it Yes I found myself by insensible degrees sincerely fond of her and the happiest hours of my life were what I spent with her when I felt my intentions were strictly honourable and my feelings blameless Even THEN however when fully determined on paying my addresses to her I allowed myself most improperly to put off from day to day the moment of doing it from an unwillingness to enter into an engagement while my circumstances were so greatly embarrassed I will not reason here nor will I stop for YOU to expatiate on the absurdity and the worse than absurdity of scrupling to engage my faith where my honour was already bound The event has proved that I was a cunning fool providing with great circumspection for a possible opportunity of making myself contemptible and wretched for ever At last however my resolution was taken and I had determined as soon as I could engage her alone to justify the attentions I had so invariably paid her and openly assure her of an affection which I had already taken such pains to display But in the interim in the interim of the very few hours that were to pass before I could have an opportunity of speaking with her in private a circumstance occurred an unlucky circumstance to ruin all my resolution and with it all my comfort A discovery took place here he hesitated and looked down Mrs Smith had somehow or other been informed I imagine by some distant relation whose interest it was to deprive me of her favour of an affair a connection but I need not explain myself farther he added looking at her with an heightened colour and an enquiring eye your particular intimacy you have probably heard the whole story long ago {para} I have returned Elinor colouring likewise and hardening her heart anew against any compassion for him I have heard it all And how you will explain away any part of your guilt in that dreadful business I confess is beyond my comprehension {para} Remember cried Willoughby from whom you received the account Could it be an impartial one I acknowledge that her situation and her character ought to have been respected by me I do not mean to justify myself but at the same time cannot leave you to suppose that I have nothing to urge that because she was injured she was irreproachable and because I was a libertine SHE must be a saint If the violence of her passions the weakness of her understanding I do not mean however to defend myself Her affection for me deserved better treatment and I often with great self reproach recall the tenderness which for a very short time had the power of creating any return I wish I heartily wish it had never been But I have injured more than herself and I have injured one whose affection for me may I say it was scarcely less warm than hers and whose mind Oh how infinitely superior {para} Your indifference however towards that unfortunate girl I must say it unpleasant to me as the discussion of such a subject may well be your indifference is no apology for your cruel neglect of her Do not think yourself excused by any weakness any natural defect of understanding on her side in the wanton cruelty so evident on yours You must have known that while you were enjoying yourself in Devonshire pursuing fresh schemes always gay always happy she was reduced to the extremest indigence {para} But upon my soul I did NOT know it he warmly replied I did not recollect that I had omitted to give her my direction and common sense might have told her how to find it out {para} Well sir and what said Mrs Smith {para} She taxed me with the offence at once and my confusion may be guessed The purity of her life the formality of her notions her ignorance of the world every thing was against me The matter itself I could not deny and vain was every endeavour to soften it She was previously disposed I believe to doubt the morality of my conduct in general and was moreover discontented with the very little attention the very little portion of my time that I had bestowed on her in my present visit In short it ended in a total breach By one measure I might have saved myself In the height of her morality good woman she offered to forgive the past if I would marry Eliza That could not be and I was formally dismissed from her favour and her house The night following this affair I was to go the next morning was spent by me in deliberating on what my future conduct should be The struggle was great but it ended too soon My affection for Marianne my thorough conviction of her attachment to me it was all insufficient to outweigh that dread of poverty or get the better of those false ideas of the necessity of riches which I was naturally inclined to feel and expensive society had increased I had reason to believe myself secure of my present wife if I chose to address her and I persuaded myself to think that nothing else in common prudence remained for me to do A heavy scene however awaited me before I could leave Devonshire I was engaged to dine with you on that very day some apology was therefore necessary for my breaking this engagement But whether I should write this apology or deliver it in person was a point of long debate To see Marianne I felt would be dreadful and I even doubted whether I could see her again and keep to my resolution In that point however I undervalued my own magnanimity as the event declared for I went I saw her and saw her miserable and left her miserable and left her hoping never to see her again {para} Why did you call Mr Willoughby said Elinor reproachfully a note would have answered every purpose Why was it necessary to call {para} It was necessary to my own pride I could not bear to leave the country in a manner that might lead you or the rest of the neighbourhood to suspect any part of what had really passed between Mrs Smith and myself and I resolved therefore on calling at the cottage in my way to Honiton The sight of your dear sister however was really dreadful and to heighten the matter I found her alone You were all gone I do not know where I had left her only the evening before so fully so firmly resolved within my self on doing right A few hours were to have engaged her to me for ever and I remember how happy how gay were my spirits as I walked from the cottage to Allenham satisfied with myself delighted with every body But in this our last interview of friendship I approached her with a sense of guilt that almost took from me the power of dissembling Her sorrow her disappointment her deep regret when I told her that I was obliged to leave Devonshire so immediately I never shall forget it united too with such reliance such confidence in me Oh God what a hard hearted rascal I was {para} They were both silent for a few moments Elinor first spoke {para} Did you tell her that you should soon return {para} I do not know what I told her he replied impatiently less than was due to the past beyond a doubt and in all likelihood much more than was justified by the future I cannot think of it It won't do Then came your dear mother to torture me farther with all her kindness and confidence Thank Heaven it DID torture me I was miserable Miss Dashwood you cannot have an idea of the comfort it gives me to look back on my own misery I owe such a grudge to myself for the stupid rascally folly of my own heart that all my past sufferings under it are only triumph and exultation to me now Well I went left all that I loved and went to those to whom at best I was only indifferent My journey to town travelling with my own horses and therefore so tediously no creature to speak to my own reflections so cheerful when I looked forward every thing so inviting when I looked back at Barton the picture so soothing oh it was a blessed journey {para} He stopped {para} Well sir said Elinor who though pitying him grew impatient for his departure and this is all {para} Ah no have you forgot what passed in town That infamous letter Did she shew it you {para} Yes I saw every note that passed {para} When the first of hers reached me as it immediately did for I was in town the whole time what I felt is in the common phrase not to be expressed in a more simple one perhaps too simple to raise any emotion my feelings were very very painful Every line every word was in the hackneyed metaphor which their dear writer were she here would forbid a dagger to my heart To know that Marianne was in town was in the same language a thunderbolt Thunderbolts and daggers what a reproof would she have given me her taste her opinions I believe they are better known to me than my own and I am sure they are dearer {para} Elinor 's heart which had undergone many changes in the course of this extraordinary conversation was now softened again yet she felt it her duty to check such ideas in her companion as the last {para} This is not right Mr Willoughby Remember that you are married Relate only what in your conscience you think necessary for me to hear {para} Marianne 's note by assuring me that I was still as dear to her as in former days that in spite of the many many weeks we had been separated she was as constant in her own feelings and as full of faith in the constancy of mine as ever awakened all my remorse I say awakened because time and London business and dissipation had in some measure quieted it and I had been growing a fine hardened villain fancying myself indifferent to her and chusing to fancy that she too must have become indifferent to me talking to myself of our past attachment as a mere idle trifling business shrugging up my shoulders in proof of its being so and silencing every reproach overcoming every scruple by secretly saying now and then I shall be heartily glad to hear she is well married But this note made me know myself better I felt that she was infinitely dearer to me than any other woman in the world and that I was using her infamously But every thing was then just settled between Miss Grey and me To retreat was impossible All that I had to do was to avoid you both I sent no answer to Marianne intending by that to preserve myself from her farther notice and for some time I was even determined not to call in Berkeley Street but at last judging it wiser to affect the air of a cool common acquaintance than anything else I watched you all safely out of the house one morning and left my name {para} Watched us out of the house {para} Even so You would be surprised to hear how often I watched you how often I was on the point of falling in with you I have entered many a shop to avoid your sight as the carriage drove by Lodging as I did in Bond Street there was hardly a day in which I did not catch a glimpse of one or other of you and nothing but the most constant watchfulness on my side a most invariably prevailing desire to keep out of your sight could have separated us so long I avoided the Middletons as much as possible as well as everybody else who was likely to prove an acquaintance in common Not aware of their being in town however I blundered on Sir John I believe the first day of his coming and the day after I had called at Mrs Jennings 's He asked me to a party a dance at his house in the evening Had he NOT told me as an inducement that you and your sister were to be there I should have felt it too certain a thing to trust myself near him The next morning brought another short note from Marianne still affectionate open artless confiding everything that could make MY conduct most hateful I could not answer it I tried but could not frame a sentence But I thought of her I believe every moment of the day If you CAN pity me Miss Dashwood pity my situation as it was THEN With my head and heart full of your sister I was forced to play the happy lover to another woman Those three or four weeks were worse than all Well at last as I need not tell you you were forced on me and what a sweet figure I cut what an evening of agony it was Marianne beautiful as an angel on one side calling me Willoughby in such a tone Oh God holding out her hand to me asking me for an explanation with those bewitching eyes fixed in such speaking solicitude on my face and Sophia jealous as the devil on the other hand looking all that was Well it does not signify it is over now Such an evening I ran away from you all as soon as I could but not before I had seen Marianne 's sweet face as white as death THAT was the last last look I ever had of her the last manner in which she appeared to me It was a horrid sight yet when I thought of her to day as really dying it was a kind of comfort to me to imagine that I knew exactly how she would appear to those who saw her last in this world She was before me constantly before me as I travelled in the same look and hue {para} A short pause of mutual thoughtfulness succeeded Willoughby first rousing himself broke it thus {para} Well let me make haste and be gone Your sister is certainly better certainly out of danger {para} We are assured of it {para} Your poor mother too doting on Marianne {para} But the letter Mr Willoughby your own letter have you any thing to say about that {para} Yes yes THAT in particular Your sister wrote to me again you know the very next morning You saw what she said I was breakfasting at the Ellisons and her letter with some others was brought to me there from my lodgings It happened to catch Sophia 's eye before it caught mine and its size the elegance of the paper the hand writing altogether immediately gave her a suspicion Some vague report had reached her before of my attachment to some young lady in Devonshire and what had passed within her observation the preceding evening had marked who the young lady was and made her more jealous than ever Affecting that air of playfulness therefore which is delightful in a woman one loves she opened the letter directly and read its contents She was well paid for her impudence She read what made her wretched Her wretchedness I could have borne but her passion her malice At all events it must be appeased And in short what do you think of my wife 's style of letter writing delicate tender truly feminine was it not {para} Your wife The letter was in your own hand writing {para} Yes but I had only the credit of servilely copying such sentences as I was ashamed to put my name to The original was all her own her own happy thoughts and gentle diction But what could I do we were engaged every thing in preparation the day almost fixed But I am talking like a fool Preparation day In honest words her money was necessary to me and in a situation like mine any thing was to be done to prevent a rupture And after all what did it signify to my character in the opinion of Marianne and her friends in what language my answer was couched It must have been only to one end My business was to declare myself a scoundrel and whether I did it with a bow or a bluster was of little importance I am ruined for ever in their opinion said I to myself I am shut out for ever from their society they already think me an unprincipled fellow this letter will only make them think me a blackguard one Such were my reasonings as in a sort of desperate carelessness I copied my wife 's words and parted with the last relics of Marianne Her three notes unluckily they were all in my pocketbook or I should have denied their existence and hoarded them for ever I was forced to put them up and could not even kiss them And the lock of hair that too I had always carried about me in the same pocket book which was now searched by Madam with the most ingratiating virulence the dear lock all every memento was torn from me {para} You are very wrong Mr Willoughby very blamable said Elinor while her voice in spite of herself betrayed her compassionate emotion you ought not to speak in this way either of Mrs Willoughby or my sister You had made your own choice It was not forced on you Your wife has a claim to your politeness to your respect at least She must be attached to you or she would not have married you To treat her with unkindness to speak of her slightingly is no atonement to Marianne nor can I suppose it a relief to your own conscience {para} Do not talk to me of my wife said he with a heavy sigh She does not deserve your compassion She knew I had no regard for her when we married Well married we were and came down to Combe Magna to be happy and afterwards returned to town to be gay And now do you pity me Miss Dashwood or have I said all this to no purpose Am I be it only one degree am I less guilty in your opinion than I was before My intentions were not always wrong Have I explained away any part of my guilt {para} Yes you have certainly removed something a little You have proved yourself on the whole less faulty than I had believed you You have proved your heart less wicked much less wicked But I hardly know the misery that you have inflicted I hardly know what could have made it worse {para} Will you repeat to your sister when she is recovered what I have been telling you Let me be a little lightened too in her opinion as well as in yours You tell me that she has forgiven me already Let me be able to fancy that a better knowledge of my heart and of my present feelings will draw from her a more spontaneous more natural more gentle less dignified forgiveness Tell her of my misery and my penitence tell her that my heart was never inconstant to her and if you will that at this moment she is dearer to me than ever {para} I will tell her all that is necessary to what may comparatively be called your justification But you have not explained to me the particular reason of your coming now nor how you heard of her illness {para} Last night in Drury Lane lobby I ran against Sir John Middleton and when he saw who I was for the first time these two months he spoke to me That he had cut me ever since my marriage I had seen without surprise or resentment Now however his good natured honest stupid soul full of indignation against me and concern for your sister could not resist the temptation of telling me what he knew ought to though probably he did not think it WOULD vex me horridly As bluntly as he could speak it therefore he told me that Marianne Dashwood was dying of a putrid fever at Cleveland a letter that morning received from Mrs Jennings declared her danger most imminent the Palmers are all gone off in a fright &c I was too much shocked to be able to pass myself off as insensible even to the undiscerning Sir John His heart was softened in seeing mine suffer and so much of his ill will was done away that when we parted he almost shook me by the hand while he reminded me of an old promise about a pointer puppy What I felt on hearing that your sister was dying and dying too believing me the greatest villain upon earth scorning hating me in her latest moments for how could I tell what horrid projects might not have been imputed ONE person I was sure would represent me as capable of any thing What I felt was dreadful My resolution was soon made and at eight o'clock this morning I was in my carriage Now you know all {para} Elinor made no answer Her thoughts were silently fixed on the irreparable injury which too early an independence and its consequent habits of idleness dissipation and luxury had made in the mind the character the happiness of a man who to every advantage of person and talents united a disposition naturally open and honest and a feeling affectionate temper The world had made him extravagant and vain Extravagance and vanity had made him cold hearted and selfish Vanity while seeking its own guilty triumph at the expense of another had involved him in a real attachment which extravagance or at least its offspring necessity had required to be sacrificed Each faulty propensity in leading him to evil had led him likewise to punishment The attachment from which against honour against feeling against every better interest he had outwardly torn himself now when no longer allowable governed every thought and the connection for the sake of which he had with little scruple left her sister to misery was likely to prove a source of unhappiness to himself of a far more incurable nature From a reverie of this kind she was recalled at the end of some minutes by Willoughby who rousing himself from a reverie at least equally painful started up in preparation for going and said {para} There is no use in staying here I must be off {para} Are you going back to town {para} No to Combe Magna I have business there from thence to town in a day or two Good bye {para} He held out his hand She could not refuse to give him hers 's he pressed it with affection {para} And you DO think something better of me than you did said he letting it fall and leaning against the mantel piece as if forgetting he was to go {para} Elinor assured him that she did that she forgave pitied wished him well was even interested in his happiness and added some gentle counsel as to the behaviour most likely to promote it His answer was not very encouraging {para} As to that said he I must rub through the world as well as I can Domestic happiness is out of the question If however I am allowed to think that you and yours feel an interest in my fate and actions it may be the means it may put me on my guard at least it may be something to live for Marianne to be sure is lost to me for ever Were I even by any blessed chance at liberty again {para} Elinor stopped him with a reproof {para} Well he replied once more good bye I shall now go away and live in dread of one event {para} What do you mean {para} Your sister 's marriage {para} You are very wrong She can never be more lost to you than she is now {para} But she will be gained by some one else And if that some one should be the very he whom of all others I could least bear but I will not stay to rob myself of all your compassionate goodwill by shewing that where I have most injured I can least forgive Good bye God bless you {para} And with these words he almost ran out of the room {para} CHAPTER 45 {para} Elinor for some time after he left her for some time even after the sound of his carriage had died away remained too much oppressed by a crowd of ideas widely differing in themselves but of which sadness was the general result to think even of her sister {para} Willoughby he whom only half an hour ago she had abhorred as the most worthless of men Willoughby in spite of all his faults excited a degree of commiseration for the sufferings produced by them which made her think of him as now separated for ever from her family with a tenderness a regret rather in proportion as she soon acknowledged within herself to his wishes than to his merits She felt that his influence over her mind was heightened by circumstances which ought not in reason to have weight by that person of uncommon attraction that open affectionate and lively manner which it was no merit to possess and by that still ardent love for Marianne which it was not even innocent to indulge But she felt that it was so long long before she could feel his influence less {para} When at last she returned to the unconscious Marianne she found her just awaking refreshed by so long and sweet a sleep to the extent of her hopes Elinor 's heart was full The past the present the future Willoughby 's visit Marianne 's safety and her mother 's expected arrival threw her altogether into an agitation of spirits which kept off every indication of fatigue and made her only fearful of betraying herself to her sister Short was the time however in which that fear could affect her for within half an hour after Willoughby 's leaving the house she was again called down stairs by the sound of another carriage Eager to save her mother from every unnecessary moment 's horrible suspense she ran immediately into the hall and reached the outward door just in time to receive and support her as she entered it {para} Mrs Dashwood whose terror as they drew near the house had produced almost the conviction of Marianne 's being no more had no voice to inquire after her no voice even for Elinor but SHE waiting neither for salutation nor inquiry instantly gave the joyful relief and her mother catching it with all her usual warmth was in a moment as much overcome by her happiness as she had been before by her fears She was supported into the drawing room between her daughter and her friend and there shedding tears of joy though still unable to speak embraced Elinor again and again turning from her at intervals to press Colonel Brandon 's hand with a look which spoke at once her gratitude and her conviction of his sharing with herself in the bliss of the moment He shared it however in a silence even greater than her own {para} As soon as Mrs Dashwood had recovered herself to see Marianne was her first desire and in two minutes she was with her beloved child rendered dearer to her than ever by absence unhappiness and danger Elinor 's delight as she saw what each felt in the meeting was only checked by an apprehension of its robbing Marianne of farther sleep but Mrs Dashwood could be calm could be even prudent when the life of a child was at stake and Marianne satisfied in knowing her mother was near her and conscious of being too weak for conversation submitted readily to the silence and quiet prescribed by every nurse around her Mrs Dashwood WOULD sit up with her all night and Elinor in compliance with her mother 's entreaty went to bed But the rest which one night entirely sleepless and many hours of the most wearing anxiety seemed to make requisite was kept off by irritation of spirits Willoughby poor Willoughby as she now allowed herself to call him was constantly in her thoughts she would not but have heard his vindication for the world and now blamed now acquitted herself for having judged him so harshly before But her promise of relating it to her sister was invariably painful She dreaded the performance of it dreaded what its effect on Marianne might be doubted whether after such an explanation she could ever be happy with another and for a moment wished Willoughby a widower Then remembering Colonel Brandon reproved herself felt that to HIS sufferings and his constancy far more than to his rival 's the reward of her sister was due and wished any thing rather than Mrs Willoughby 's death {para} The shock of Colonel Brandon 's errand at Barton had been much softened to Mrs Dashwood by her own previous alarm for so great was her uneasiness about Marianne that she had already determined to set out for Cleveland on that very day without waiting for any further intelligence and had so far settled her journey before his arrival that the Careys were then expected every moment to fetch Margaret away as her mother was unwilling to take her where there might be infection {para} Marianne continued to mend every day and the brilliant cheerfulness of Mrs Dashwood 's looks and spirits proved her to be as she repeatedly declared herself one of the happiest women in the world Elinor could not hear the declaration nor witness its proofs without sometimes wondering whether her mother ever recollected Edward But Mrs Dashwood trusting to the temperate account of her own disappointment which Elinor had sent her was led away by the exuberance of her joy to think only of what would increase it Marianne was restored to her from a danger in which as she now began to feel her own mistaken judgment in encouraging the unfortunate attachment to Willoughby had contributed to place her and in her recovery she had yet another source of joy unthought of by Elinor It was thus imparted to her as soon as any opportunity of private conference between them occurred {para} At last we are alone My Elinor you do not yet know all my happiness Colonel Brandon loves Marianne He has told me so himself {para} Her daughter feeling by turns both pleased and pained surprised and not surprised was all silent attention {para} You are never like me dear Elinor or I should wonder at your composure now Had I sat down to wish for any possible good to my family I should have fixed on Colonel Brandon 's marrying one of you as the object most desirable And I believe Marianne will be the most happy with him of the two {para} Elinor was half inclined to ask her reason for thinking so because satisfied that none founded on an impartial consideration of their age characters or feelings could be given but her mother must always be carried away by her imagination on any interesting subject and therefore instead of an inquiry she passed it off with a smile {para} He opened his whole heart to me yesterday as we travelled It came out quite unawares quite undesignedly I you may well believe could talk of nothing but my child he could not conceal his distress I saw that it equalled my own and he perhaps thinking that mere friendship as the world now goes would not justify so warm a sympathy or rather not thinking at all I suppose giving way to irresistible feelings made me acquainted with his earnest tender constant affection for Marianne He has loved her my Elinor ever since the first moment of seeing her {para} Here however Elinor perceived not the language not the professions of Colonel Brandon but the natural embellishments of her mother 's active fancy which fashioned every thing delightful to her as it chose {para} His regard for her infinitely surpassing anything that Willoughby ever felt or feigned as much more warm as more sincere or constant which ever we are to call it has subsisted through all the knowledge of dear Marianne 's unhappy prepossession for that worthless young man and without selfishness without encouraging a hope could he have seen her happy with another Such a noble mind such openness such sincerity no one can be deceived in HIM {para} Colonel Brandon 's character said Elinor as an excellent man is well established {para} I know it is replied her mother seriously or after such a warning I should be the last to encourage such affection or even to be pleased by it But his coming for me as he did with such active such ready friendship is enough to prove him one of the worthiest of men {para} His character however answered Elinor does not rest on ONE act of kindness to which his affection for Marianne were humanity out of the case would have prompted him To Mrs Jennings to the Middletons he has been long and intimately known they equally love and respect him and even my own knowledge of him though lately acquired is very considerable and so highly do I value and esteem him that if Marianne can be happy with him I shall be as ready as yourself to think our connection the greatest blessing to us in the world What answer did you give him Did you allow him to hope {para} Oh my love I could not then talk of hope to him or to myself Marianne might at that moment be dying But he did not ask for hope or encouragement His was an involuntary confidence an irrepressible effusion to a soothing friend not an application to a parent Yet after a time I DID say for at first I was quite overcome that if she lived as I trusted she might my greatest happiness would lie in promoting their marriage and since our arrival since our delightful security I have repeated it to him more fully have given him every encouragement in my power Time a very little time I tell him will do everything Marianne 's heart is not to be wasted for ever on such a man as Willoughby His own merits must soon secure it {para} To judge from the Colonel 's spirits however you have not yet made him equally sanguine {para} No He thinks Marianne 's affection too deeply rooted for any change in it under a great length of time and even supposing her heart again free is too diffident of himself to believe that with such a difference of age and disposition he could ever attach her There however he is quite mistaken His age is only so much beyond hers as to be an advantage as to make his character and principles fixed and his disposition I am well convinced is exactly the very one to make your sister happy And his person his manners too are all in his favour My partiality does not blind me he certainly is not so handsome as Willoughby but at the same time there is something much more pleasing in his countenance There was always a something if you remember in Willoughby 's eyes at times which I did not like {para} Elinor could NOT remember it but her mother without waiting for her assent continued {para} And his manners the Colonel 's manners are not only more pleasing to me than Willoughby 's ever were but they are of a kind I well know to be more solidly attaching to Marianne Their gentleness their genuine attention to other people and their manly unstudied simplicity is much more accordant with her real disposition than the liveliness often artificial and often ill timed of the other I am very sure myself that had Willoughby turned out as really amiable as he has proved himself the contrary Marianne would yet never have been so happy with HIM as she will be with Colonel Brandon {para} She paused Her daughter could not quite agree with her but her dissent was not heard and therefore gave no offence {para} At Delaford she will be within an easy distance of me added Mrs Dashwood even if I remain at Barton and in all probability for I hear it is a large village indeed there certainly MUST be some small house or cottage close by that would suit us quite as well as our present situation {para} Poor Elinor here was a new scheme for getting her to Delaford but her spirit was stubborn {para} His fortune too for at my time of life you know everybody cares about THAT and though I neither know nor desire to know what it really is I am sure it must be a good one {para} Here they were interrupted by the entrance of a third person and Elinor withdrew to think it all over in private to wish success to her friend and yet in wishing it to feel a pang for Willoughby {para} CHAPTER 46 {para} Marianne 's illness though weakening in its kind had not been long enough to make her recovery slow and with youth natural strength and her mother 's presence in aid it proceeded so smoothly as to enable her to remove within four days after the arrival of the latter into Mrs Palmer 's dressing room When there at her own particular request for she was impatient to pour forth her thanks to him for fetching her mother Colonel Brandon was invited to visit her {para} His emotion on entering the room in seeing her altered looks and in receiving the pale hand which she immediately held out to him was such as in Elinor 's conjecture must arise from something more than his affection for Marianne or the consciousness of its being known to others and she soon discovered in his melancholy eye and varying complexion as he looked at her sister the probable recurrence of many past scenes of misery to his mind brought back by that resemblance between Marianne and Eliza already acknowledged and now strengthened by the hollow eye the sickly skin the posture of reclining weakness and the warm acknowledgment of peculiar obligation {para} Mrs Dashwood not less watchful of what passed than her daughter but with a mind very differently influenced and therefore watching to very different effect saw nothing in the Colonel 's behaviour but what arose from the most simple and self evident sensations while in the actions and words of Marianne she persuaded herself to think that something more than gratitude already dawned {para} At the end of another day or two Marianne growing visibly stronger every twelve hours Mrs Dashwood urged equally by her own and her daughter 's wishes began to talk of removing to Barton On HER measures depended those of her two friends Mrs Jennings could not quit Cleveland during the Dashwoods stay and Colonel Brandon was soon brought by their united request to consider his own abode there as equally determinate if not equally indispensable At his and Mrs Jennings 's united request in return Mrs Dashwood was prevailed on to accept the use of his carriage on her journey back for the better accommodation of her sick child and the Colonel at the joint invitation of Mrs Dashwood and Mrs Jennings whose active good nature made her friendly and hospitable for other people as well as herself engaged with pleasure to redeem it by a visit at the cottage in the course of a few weeks {para} The day of separation and departure arrived and Marianne after taking so particular and lengthened a leave of Mrs Jennings one so earnestly grateful so full of respect and kind wishes as seemed due to her own heart from a secret acknowledgment of past inattention and bidding Colonel Brandon farewell with a cordiality of a friend was carefully assisted by him into the carriage of which he seemed anxious that she should engross at least half Mrs Dashwood and Elinor then followed and the others were left by themselves to talk of the travellers and feel their own dullness till Mrs Jennings was summoned to her chaise to take comfort in the gossip of her maid for the loss of her two young companions and Colonel Brandon immediately afterwards took his solitary way to Delaford {para} The Dashwoods were two days on the road and Marianne bore her journey on both without essential fatigue Every thing that the most zealous affection the most solicitous care could do to render her comfortable was the office of each watchful companion and each found their reward in her bodily ease and her calmness of spirits To Elinor the observation of the latter was particularly grateful She who had seen her week after week so constantly suffering oppressed by anguish of heart which she had neither courage to speak of nor fortitude to conceal now saw with a joy which no other could equally share an apparent composure of mind which in being the result as she trusted of serious reflection must eventually lead her to contentment and cheerfulness {para} As they approached Barton indeed and entered on scenes of which every field and every tree brought some peculiar some painful recollection she grew silent and thoughtful and turning away her face from their notice sat earnestly gazing through the window But here Elinor could neither wonder nor blame and when she saw as she assisted Marianne from the carriage that she had been crying she saw only an emotion too natural in itself to raise any thing less tender than pity and in its unobtrusiveness entitled to praise In the whole of her subsequent manner she traced the direction of a mind awakened to reasonable exertion for no sooner had they entered their common sitting room than Marianne turned her eyes around it with a look of resolute firmness as if determined at once to accustom herself to the sight of every object with which the remembrance of Willoughby could be connected She said little but every sentence aimed at cheerfulness and though a sigh sometimes escaped her it never passed away without the atonement of a smile After dinner she would try her piano forte She went to it but the music on which her eye first rested was an opera procured for her by Willoughby containing some of their favourite duets and bearing on its outward leaf her own name in his hand writing That would not do She shook her head put the music aside and after running over the keys for a minute complained of feebleness in her fingers and closed the instrument again declaring however with firmness as she did so that she should in future practice much {para} The next morning produced no abatement in these happy symptoms On the contrary with a mind and body alike strengthened by rest she looked and spoke with more genuine spirit anticipating the pleasure of Margaret 's return and talking of the dear family party which would then be restored of their mutual pursuits and cheerful society as the only happiness worth a wish {para} When the weather is settled and I have recovered my strength said she we will take long walks together every day We will walk to the farm at the edge of the down and see how the children go on we will walk to Sir John 's new plantations at Barton Cross and the Abbeyland and we will often go the old ruins of the Priory and try to trace its foundations as far as we are told they once reached I know we shall be happy I know the summer will pass happily away I mean never to be later in rising than six and from that time till dinner I shall divide every moment between music and reading I have formed my plan and am determined to enter on a course of serious study Our own library is too well known to me to be resorted to for any thing beyond mere amusement But there are many works well worth reading at the Park and there are others of more modern production which I know I can borrow of Colonel Brandon By reading only six hours a day I shall gain in the course of a twelve month a great deal of instruction which I now feel myself to want {para} Elinor honoured her for a plan which originated so nobly as this though smiling to see the same eager fancy which had been leading her to the extreme of languid indolence and selfish repining now at work in introducing excess into a scheme of such rational employment and virtuous self control Her smile however changed to a sigh when she remembered that promise to Willoughby was yet unfulfilled and feared she had that to communicate which might again unsettle the mind of Marianne and ruin at least for a time this fair prospect of busy tranquillity Willing therefore to delay the evil hour she resolved to wait till her sister 's health were more secure before she appointed it But the resolution was made only to be broken {para} Marianne had been two or three days at home before the weather was fine enough for an invalid like herself to venture out But at last a soft genial morning appeared such as might tempt the daughter 's wishes and the mother 's confidence and Marianne leaning on Elinor 's arm was authorised to walk as long as she could without fatigue in the lane before the house {para} The sisters set out at a pace slow as the feebleness of Marianne in an exercise hitherto untried since her illness required and they had advanced only so far beyond the house as to admit a full view of the hill the important hill behind when pausing with her eyes turned towards it Marianne calmly said {para} There exactly there pointing with one hand on that projecting mound there I fell and there I first saw Willoughby {para} Her voice sunk with the word but presently reviving she added {para} I am thankful to find that I can look with so little pain on the spot shall we ever talk on that subject Elinor hesitatingly it was said Or will it be wrong I can talk of it now I hope as I ought to do {para} Elinor tenderly invited her to be open {para} As for regret said Marianne I have done with that as far as HE is concerned I do not mean to talk to you of what my feelings have been for him but what they are NOW At present if I could be satisfied on one point if I could be allowed to think that he was not ALWAYS acting a part not ALWAYS deceiving me but above all if I could be assured that he never was so VERY wicked as my fears have sometimes fancied him since the story of that unfortunate girl {para} She stopt Elinor joyfully treasured her words as she answered {para} If you could be assured of that you think you should be easy {para} Yes My peace of mind is doubly involved in it for not only is it horrible to suspect a person who has been what HE has been to ME of such designs but what must it make me appear to myself What in a situation like mine but a most shamefully unguarded affection could expose me to {para} How then asked her sister would you account for his behaviour {para} I would suppose him Oh how gladly would I suppose him only fickle very very fickle {para} Elinor said no more She was debating within herself on the eligibility of beginning her story directly or postponing it till Marianne were in stronger health and they crept on for a few minutes in silence {para} I am not wishing him too much good said Marianne at last with a sigh when I wish his secret reflections may be no more unpleasant than my own He will suffer enough in them {para} Do you compare your conduct with his {para} No I compare it with what it ought to have been I compare it with yours {para} Our situations have borne little resemblance {para} They have borne more than our conduct Do not my dearest Elinor let your kindness defend what I know your judgment must censure My illness has made me think It has given me leisure and calmness for serious recollection Long before I was enough recovered to talk I was perfectly able to reflect I considered the past I saw in my own behaviour since the beginning of our acquaintance with him last autumn nothing but a series of imprudence towards myself and want of kindness to others I saw that my own feelings had prepared my sufferings and that my want of fortitude under them had almost led me to the grave My illness I well knew had been entirely brought on by myself by such negligence of my own health as I had felt even at the time to be wrong Had I died it would have been self destruction I did not know my danger till the danger was removed but with such feelings as these reflections gave me I wonder at my recovery wonder that the very eagerness of my desire to live to have time for atonement to my God and to you all did not kill me at once Had I died in what peculiar misery should I have left you my nurse my friend my sister You who had seen all the fretful selfishness of my latter days who had known all the murmurings of my heart How should I have lived in YOUR remembrance My mother too How could you have consoled her I cannot express my own abhorrence of myself Whenever I looked towards the past I saw some duty neglected or some failing indulged Every body seemed injured by me The kindness the unceasing kindness of Mrs Jennings I had repaid with ungrateful contempt To the Middletons to the Palmers the Steeles to every common acquaintance even I had been insolent and unjust with a heart hardened against their merits and a temper irritated by their very attention To John to Fanny yes even to them little as they deserve I had given less than their due But you you above all above my mother had been wronged by me I and only I knew your heart and its sorrows yet to what did it influence me not to any compassion that could benefit you or myself Your example was before me but to what avail Was I more considerate of you and your comfort Did I imitate your forbearance or lessen your restraints by taking any part in those offices of general complaisance or particular gratitude which you had hitherto been left to discharge alone No not less when I knew you to be unhappy than when I had believed you at ease did I turn away from every exertion of duty or friendship scarcely allowing sorrow to exist but with me regretting only THAT heart which had deserted and wronged me and leaving you for or I professed an unbounded affection to be miserable for my sake {para} Here ceased the rapid flow of her self reproving spirit and Elinor impatient to soothe though too honest to flatter gave her instantly that praise and support which her frankness and her contrition so well deserved Marianne pressed her hand and replied {para} You are very good The future must be my proof I have laid down my plan and if I am capable of adhering to it my feelings shall be governed and my temper improved They shall no longer worry others nor torture myself I shall now live solely for my family You my mother and Margaret must henceforth be all the world to me you will share my affections entirely between you From you from my home I shall never again have the smallest incitement to move and if I do mix in other society it will be only to shew that my spirit is humbled my heart amended and that I can practise the civilities the lesser duties of life with gentleness and forbearance As for Willoughby to say that I shall soon or that I shall ever forget him would be idle His remembrance can be overcome by no change of circumstances or opinions But it shall be regulated it shall be checked by religion by reason by constant employment {para} She paused and added in a low voice If I could but know HIS heart everything would become easy {para} Elinor who had now been for some time reflecting on the propriety or impropriety of speedily hazarding her narration without feeling at all nearer decision than at first heard this and perceiving that as reflection did nothing resolution must do all soon found herself leading to the fact {para} She managed the recital as she hoped with address prepared her anxious listener with caution related simply and honestly the chief points on which Willoughby grounded his apology did justice to his repentance and softened only his protestations of present regard Marianne said not a word She trembled her eyes were fixed on the ground and her lips became whiter than even sickness had left them A thousand inquiries sprung up from her heart but she dared not urge one She caught every syllable with panting eagerness her hand unknowingly to herself closely pressed her sister 's and tears covered her cheeks {para} Elinor dreading her being tired led her towards home and till they reached the door of the cottage easily conjecturing what her curiosity must be though no question was suffered to speak it talked of nothing but Willoughby and their conversation together and was carefully minute in every particular of speech and look where minuteness could be safely indulged As soon as they entered the house Marianne with a kiss of gratitude and these two words just articulate through her tears Tell mama withdrew from her sister and walked slowly up stairs Elinor would not attempt to disturb a solitude so reasonable as what she now sought and with a mind anxiously pre arranging its result and a resolution of reviving the subject again should Marianne fail to do it she turned into the parlour to fulfill her parting injunction {para} CHAPTER 47 {para} Mrs Dashwood did not hear unmoved the vindication of her former favourite She rejoiced in his being cleared from some part of his imputed guilt she was sorry for him she wished him happy But the feelings of the past could not be recalled Nothing could restore him with a faith unbroken a character unblemished to Marianne Nothing could do away the knowledge of what the latter had suffered through his means nor remove the guilt of his conduct towards Eliza Nothing could replace him therefore in her former esteem nor injure the interests of Colonel Brandon {para} Had Mrs Dashwood like her daughter heard Willoughby 's story from himself had she witnessed his distress and been under the influence of his countenance and his manner it is probable that her compassion would have been greater But it was neither in Elinor 's power nor in her wish to rouse such feelings in another by her retailed explanation as had at first been called forth in herself Reflection had given calmness to her judgment and sobered her own opinion of Willoughby 's deserts she wished therefore to declare only the simple truth and lay open such facts as were really due to his character without any embellishment of tenderness to lead the fancy astray {para} In the evening when they were all three together Marianne began voluntarily to speak of him again but that it was not without an effort the restless unquiet thoughtfulness in which she had been for some time previously sitting her rising colour as she spoke and her unsteady voice plainly shewed {para} I wish to assure you both said she that I see every thing as you can desire me to do {para} Mrs Dashwood would have interrupted her instantly with soothing tenderness had not Elinor who really wished to hear her sister 's unbiased opinion by an eager sign engaged her silence Marianne slowly continued {para} It is a great relief to me what Elinor told me this morning I have now heard exactly what I wished to hear For some moments her voice was lost but recovering herself she added and with greater calmness than before I am now perfectly satisfied I wish for no change I never could have been happy with him after knowing as sooner or later I must have known all this I should have had no confidence no esteem Nothing could have done it away to my feelings {para} I know it I know it cried her mother Happy with a man of libertine practices With one who so injured the peace of the dearest of our friends and the best of men No my Marianne has not a heart to be made happy with such a man Her conscience her sensitive counscience would have felt all that the conscience of her husband ought to have felt {para} Marianne sighed and repeated I wish for no change {para} You consider the matter said Elinor exactly as a good mind and a sound understanding must consider it and I dare say you perceive as well as myself not only in this but in many other circumstances reason enough to be convinced that your marriage must have involved you in many certain troubles and disappointments in which you would have been poorly supported by an affection on his side much less certain Had you married you must have been always poor His expensiveness is acknowledged even by himself and his whole conduct declares that self denial is a word hardly understood by him His demands and your inexperience together on a small very small income must have brought on distresses which would not be the LESS grievous to you from having been entirely unknown and unthought of before YOUR sense of honour and honesty would have led you I know when aware of your situation to attempt all the economy that would appear to you possible and perhaps as long as your frugality retrenched only on your own comfort you might have been suffered to practice it but beyond that and how little could the utmost of your single management do to stop the ruin which had begun before your marriage Beyond THAT had you endeavoured however reasonably to abridge HIS enjoyments is it not to be feared that instead of prevailing on feelings so selfish to consent to it you would have lessened your own influence on his heart and made him regret the connection which had involved him in such difficulties {para} Marianne 's lips quivered and she repeated the word Selfish in a tone that implied do you really think him selfish {para} The whole of his behaviour replied Elinor from the beginning to the end of the affair has been grounded on selfishness It was selfishness which first made him sport with your affections which afterwards when his own were engaged made him delay the confession of it and which finally carried him from Barton His own enjoyment or his own ease was in every particular his ruling principle {para} It is very true MY happiness never was his object {para} At present continued Elinor he regrets what he has done And why does he regret it Because he finds it has not answered towards himself It has not made him happy His circumstances are now unembarrassed he suffers from no evil of that kind and he thinks only that he has married a woman of a less amiable temper than yourself But does it follow that had he married you he would have been happy The inconveniences would have been different He would then have suffered under the pecuniary distresses which because they are removed he now reckons as nothing He would have had a wife of whose temper he could make no complaint but he would have been always necessitous always poor and probably would soon have learned to rank the innumerable comforts of a clear estate and good income as of far more importance even to domestic happiness than the mere temper of a wife {para} I have not a doubt of it said Marianne and I have nothing to regret nothing but my own folly {para} Rather say your mother 's imprudence my child said Mrs Dashwood SHE must be answerable {para} Marianne would not let her proceed and Elinor satisfied that each felt their own error wished to avoid any survey of the past that might weaken her sister 's spirits she therefore pursuing the first subject immediately continued {para} One observation may I think be fairly drawn from the whole of the story that all Willoughby 's difficulties have arisen from the first offence against virtue in his behaviour to Eliza Williams That crime has been the origin of every lesser one and of all his present discontents {para} Marianne assented most feelingly to the remark and her mother was led by it to an enumeration of Colonel Brandon 's injuries and merits warm as friendship and design could unitedly dictate Her daughter did not look however as if much of it were heard by her {para} Elinor according to her expectation saw on the two or three following days that Marianne did not continue to gain strength as she had done but while her resolution was unsubdued and she still tried to appear cheerful and easy her sister could safely trust to the effect of time upon her health {para} Margaret returned and the family were again all restored to each other again quietly settled at the cottage and if not pursuing their usual studies with quite so much vigour as when they first came to Barton at least planning a vigorous prosecution of them in future {para} Elinor grew impatient for some tidings of Edward She had heard nothing of him since her leaving London nothing new of his plans nothing certain even of his present abode Some letters had passed between her and her brother in consequence of Marianne 's illness and in the first of John 's there had been this sentence We know nothing of our unfortunate Edward and can make no enquiries on so prohibited a subject but conclude him to be still at Oxford which was all the intelligence of Edward afforded her by the correspondence for his name was not even mentioned in any of the succeeding letters She was not doomed however to be long in ignorance of his measures {para} Their man servant had been sent one morning to Exeter on business and when as he waited at table he had satisfied the inquiries of his mistress as to the event of his errand this was his voluntary communication {para} I suppose you know ma'am that Mr Ferrars is married {para} Marianne gave a violent start fixed her eyes upon Elinor saw her turning pale and fell back in her chair in hysterics Mrs Dashwood whose eyes as she answered the servant 's inquiry had intuitively taken the same direction was shocked to perceive by Elinor 's countenance how much she really suffered and a moment afterwards alike distressed by Marianne 's situation knew not on which child to bestow her principal attention {para} The servant who saw only that Miss Marianne was taken ill had sense enough to call one of the maids who with Mrs Dashwood 's assistance supported her into the other room By that time Marianne was rather better and her mother leaving her to the care of Margaret and the maid returned to Elinor who though still much disordered had so far recovered the use of her reason and voice as to be just beginning an inquiry of Thomas as to the source of his intelligence Mrs Dashwood immediately took all that trouble on herself and Elinor had the benefit of the information without the exertion of seeking it {para} Who told you that Mr Ferrars was married Thomas {para} I see Mr Ferrars myself ma'am this morning in Exeter and his lady too Miss Steele as was They was stopping in a chaise at the door of the New London Inn as I went there with a message from Sally at the Park to her brother who is one of the post boys I happened to look up as I went by the chaise and so I see directly it was the youngest Miss Steele so I took off my hat and she knew me and called to me and inquired after you ma'am and the young ladies especially Miss Marianne and bid me I should give her compliments and Mr Ferrars 's their best compliments and service and how sorry they was they had not time to come on and see you but they was in a great hurry to go forwards for they was going further down for a little while but howsever when they come back they 'd make sure to come and see you {para} But did she tell you she was married Thomas {para} Yes ma'am She smiled and said how she had changed her name since she was in these parts She was always a very affable and free spoken young lady and very civil behaved So I made free to wish her joy {para} Was Mr Ferrars in the carriage with her {para} Yes ma'am I just see him leaning back in it but he did not look up he never was a gentleman much for talking {para} Elinor 's heart could easily account for his not putting himself forward and Mrs Dashwood probably found the same explanation {para} Was there no one else in the carriage {para} No ma'am only they two {para} Do you know where they came from {para} They come straight from town as Miss Lucy Mrs Ferrars told me {para} And are they going farther westward {para} Yes ma'am but not to bide long They will soon be back again and then they 'd be sure and call here {para} Mrs Dashwood now looked at her daughter but Elinor knew better than to expect them She recognised the whole of Lucy in the message and was very confident that Edward would never come near them She observed in a low voice to her mother that they were probably going down to Mr Pratt 's near Plymouth {para} Thomas 's intelligence seemed over Elinor looked as if she wished to hear more {para} Did you see them off before you came away {para} No ma'am the horses were just coming out but I could not bide any longer I was afraid of being late {para} Did Mrs Ferrars look well {para} Yes ma'am she said how she was very well and to my mind she was always a very handsome young lady and she seemed vastly contented {para} Mrs Dashwood could think of no other question and Thomas and the tablecloth now alike needless were soon afterwards dismissed Marianne had already sent to say that she should eat nothing more Mrs Dashwood 's and Elinor 's appetites were equally lost and Margaret might think herself very well off that with so much uneasiness as both her sisters had lately experienced so much reason as they had often had to be careless of their meals she had never been obliged to go without her dinner before {para} When the dessert and the wine were arranged and Mrs Dashwood and Elinor were left by themselves they remained long together in a similarity of thoughtfulness and silence Mrs Dashwood feared to hazard any remark and ventured not to offer consolation She now found that she had erred in relying on Elinor 's representation of herself and justly concluded that every thing had been expressly softened at the time to spare her from an increase of unhappiness suffering as she then had suffered for Marianne She found that she had been misled by the careful the considerate attention of her daughter to think the attachment which once she had so well understood much slighter in reality than she had been wont to believe or than it was now proved to be She feared that under this persuasion she had been unjust inattentive nay almost unkind to her Elinor that Marianne 's affliction because more acknowledged more immediately before her had too much engrossed her tenderness and led her away to forget that in Elinor she might have a daughter suffering almost as much certainly with less self provocation and greater fortitude {para} CHAPTER 48 {para} Elinor now found the difference between the expectation of an unpleasant event however certain the mind may be told to consider it and certainty itself She now found that in spite of herself she had always admitted a hope while Edward remained single that something would occur to prevent his marrying Lucy that some resolution of his own some mediation of friends or some more eligible opportunity of establishment for the lady would arise to assist the happiness of all But he was now married and she condemned her heart for the lurking flattery which so much heightened the pain of the intelligence {para} That he should be married soon before as she imagined he could be in orders and consequently before he could be in possession of the living surprised her a little at first But she soon saw how likely it was that Lucy in her self provident care in her haste to secure him should overlook every thing but the risk of delay They were married married in town and now hastening down to her uncle 's What had Edward felt on being within four miles from Barton on seeing her mother 's servant on hearing Lucy 's message {para} They would soon she supposed be settled at Delaford Delaford that place in which so much conspired to give her an interest which she wished to be acquainted with and yet desired to avoid She saw them in an instant in their parsonage house saw in Lucy the active contriving manager uniting at once a desire of smart appearance with the utmost frugality and ashamed to be suspected of half her economical practices pursuing her own interest in every thought courting the favour of Colonel Brandon of Mrs Jennings and of every wealthy friend In Edward she knew not what she saw nor what she wished to see happy or unhappy nothing pleased her she turned away her head from every sketch of him {para} Elinor flattered herself that some one of their connections in London would write to them to announce the event and give farther particulars but day after day passed off and brought no letter no tidings Though uncertain that any one were to blame she found fault with every absent friend They were all thoughtless or indolent {para} When do you write to Colonel Brandon ma'am was an inquiry which sprung from the impatience of her mind to have something going on {para} I wrote to him my love last week and rather expect to see than to hear from him again I earnestly pressed his coming to us and should not be surprised to see him walk in today or tomorrow or any day {para} This was gaining something something to look forward to Colonel Brandon must have some information to give {para} Scarcely had she so determined it when the figure of a man on horseback drew her eyes to the window He stopt at their gate It was a gentleman it was Colonel Brandon himself Now she could hear more and she trembled in expectation of it But it was NOT Colonel Brandon neither his air nor his height Were it possible she must say it must be Edward She looked again He had just dismounted she could not be mistaken it WAS Edward She moved away and sat down He comes from Mr Pratt 's purposely to see us I WILL be calm I WILL be mistress of myself {para} In a moment she perceived that the others were likewise aware of the mistake She saw her mother and Marianne change colour saw them look at herself and whisper a few sentences to each other She would have given the world to be able to speak and to make them understand that she hoped no coolness no slight would appear in their behaviour to him but she had no utterance and was obliged to leave all to their own discretion {para} Not a syllable passed aloud They all waited in silence for the appearance of their visitor His footsteps were heard along the gravel path in a moment he was in the passage and in another he was before them {para} His countenance as he entered the room was not too happy even for Elinor His complexion was white with agitation and he looked as if fearful of his reception and conscious that he merited no kind one Mrs Dashwood however conforming as she trusted to the wishes of that daughter by whom she then meant in the warmth of her heart to be guided in every thing met with a look of forced complacency gave him her hand and wished him joy {para} He coloured and stammered out an unintelligible reply Elinor 's lips had moved with her mother 's and when the moment of action was over she wished that she had shaken hands with him too But it was then too late and with a countenance meaning to be open she sat down again and talked of the weather {para} Marianne had retreated as much as possible out of sight to conceal her distress and Margaret understanding some part but not the whole of the case thought it incumbent on her to be dignified and therefore took a seat as far from him as she could and maintained a strict silence {para} When Elinor had ceased to rejoice in the dryness of the season a very awful pause took place It was put an end to by Mrs Dashwood who felt obliged to hope that he had left Mrs Ferrars very well In a hurried manner he replied in the affirmative {para} Another pause {para} Elinor resolving to exert herself though fearing the sound of her own voice now said {para} Is Mrs Ferrars at Longstaple {para} At Longstaple he replied with an air of surprise No my mother is in town {para} I meant said Elinor taking up some work from the table to inquire for Mrs EDWARD Ferrars {para} She dared not look up but her mother and Marianne both turned their eyes on him He coloured seemed perplexed looked doubtingly and after some hesitation said {para} Perhaps you mean my brother you mean Mrs Mrs ROBERT Ferrars {para} Mrs Robert Ferrars was repeated by Marianne and her mother in an accent of the utmost amazement and though Elinor could not speak even HER eyes were fixed on him with the same impatient wonder He rose from his seat and walked to the window apparently from not knowing what to do took up a pair of scissors that lay there and while spoiling both them and their sheath by cutting the latter to pieces as he spoke said in a hurried voice {para} Perhaps you do not know you may not have heard that my brother is lately married to to the youngest to Miss Lucy Steele {para} His words were echoed with unspeakable astonishment by all but Elinor who sat with her head leaning over her work in a state of such agitation as made her hardly know where she was {para} Yes said he they were married last week and are now at Dawlish {para} Elinor could sit it no longer She almost ran out of the room and as soon as the door was closed burst into tears of joy which at first she thought would never cease Edward who had till then looked any where rather than at her saw her hurry away and perhaps saw or even heard her emotion for immediately afterwards he fell into a reverie which no remarks no inquiries no affectionate address of Mrs Dashwood could penetrate and at last without saying a word quitted the room and walked out towards the village leaving the others in the greatest astonishment and perplexity on a change in his situation so wonderful and so sudden a perplexity which they had no means of lessening but by their own conjectures {para} CHAPTER 49 {para} Unaccountable however as the circumstances of his release might appear to the whole family it was certain that Edward was free and to what purpose that freedom would be employed was easily pre determined by all for after experiencing the blessings of ONE imprudent engagement contracted without his mother 's consent as he had already done for more than four years nothing less could be expected of him in the failure of THAT than the immediate contraction of another {para} His errand at Barton in fact was a simple one It was only to ask Elinor to marry him and considering that he was not altogether inexperienced in such a question it might be strange that he should feel so uncomfortable in the present case as he really did so much in need of encouragement and fresh air {para} How soon he had walked himself into the proper resolution however how soon an opportunity of exercising it occurred in what manner he expressed himself and how he was received need not be particularly told This only need be said that when they all sat down to table at four o'clock about three hours after his arrival he had secured his lady engaged her mother 's consent and was not only in the rapturous profession of the lover but in the reality of reason and truth one of the happiest of men His situation indeed was more than commonly joyful He had more than the ordinary triumph of accepted love to swell his heart and raise his spirits He was released without any reproach to himself from an entanglement which had long formed his misery from a woman whom he had long ceased to love and elevated at once to that security with another which he must have thought of almost with despair as soon as he had learnt to consider it with desire He was brought not from doubt or suspense but from misery to happiness and the change was openly spoken in such a genuine flowing grateful cheerfulness as his friends had never witnessed in him before {para} His heart was now open to Elinor all its weaknesses all its errors confessed and his first boyish attachment to Lucy treated with all the philosophic dignity of twenty four {para} It was a foolish idle inclination on my side said he the consequence of ignorance of the world and want of employment Had my brother given me some active profession when I was removed at eighteen from the care of Mr Pratt I think nay I am sure it would never have happened for though I left Longstaple with what I thought at the time a most unconquerable preference for his niece yet had I then had any pursuit any object to engage my time and keep me at a distance from her for a few months I should very soon have outgrown the fancied attachment especially by mixing more with the world as in such case I must have done But instead of having any thing to do instead of having any profession chosen for me or being allowed to chuse any myself I returned home to be completely idle and for the first twelvemonth afterwards I had not even the nominal employment which belonging to the university would have given me for I was not entered at Oxford till I was nineteen I had therefore nothing in the world to do but to fancy myself in love and as my mother did not make my home in every respect comfortable as I had no friend no companion in my brother and disliked new acquaintance it was not unnatural for me to be very often at Longstaple where I always felt myself at home and was always sure of a welcome and accordingly I spent the greatest part of my time there from eighteen to nineteen Lucy appeared everything that was amiable and obliging She was pretty too at least I thought so THEN and I had seen so little of other women that I could make no comparisons and see no defects Considering everything therefore I hope foolish as our engagement was foolish as it has since in every way been proved it was not at the time an unnatural or an inexcusable piece of folly {para} The change which a few hours had wrought in the minds and the happiness of the Dashwoods was such so great as promised them all the satisfaction of a sleepless night Mrs Dashwood too happy to be comfortable knew not how to love Edward nor praise Elinor enough how to be enough thankful for his release without wounding his delicacy nor how at once to give them leisure for unrestrained conversation together and yet enjoy as she wished the sight and society of both {para} Marianne could speak HER happiness only by tears Comparisons would occur regrets would arise and her joy though sincere as her love for her sister was of a kind to give her neither spirits nor language {para} But Elinor how are HER feelings to be described From the moment of learning that Lucy was married to another that Edward was free to the moment of his justifying the hopes which had so instantly followed she was every thing by turns but tranquil But when the second moment had passed when she found every doubt every solicitude removed compared her situation with what so lately it had been saw him honourably released from his former engagement saw him instantly profiting by the release to address herself and declare an affection as tender as constant as she had ever supposed it to be she was oppressed she was overcome by her own felicity and happily disposed as is the human mind to be easily familiarized with any change for the better it required several hours to give sedateness to her spirits or any degree of tranquillity to her heart {para} Edward was now fixed at the cottage at least for a week for whatever other claims might be made on him it was impossible that less than a week should be given up to the enjoyment of Elinor 's company or suffice to say half that was to be said of the past the present and the future for though a very few hours spent in the hard labor of incessant talking will despatch more subjects than can really be in common between any two rational creatures yet with lovers it is different Between THEM no subject is finished no communication is even made till it has been made at least twenty times over {para} Lucy 's marriage the unceasing and reasonable wonder among them all formed of course one of the earliest discussions of the lovers and Elinor 's particular knowledge of each party made it appear to her in every view as one of the most extraordinary and unaccountable circumstances she had ever heard How they could be thrown together and by what attraction Robert could be drawn on to marry a girl of whose beauty she had herself heard him speak without any admiration a girl too already engaged to his brother and on whose account that brother had been thrown off by his family it was beyond her comprehension to make out To her own heart it was a delightful affair to her imagination it was even a ridiculous one but to her reason her judgment it was completely a puzzle {para} Edward could only attempt an explanation by supposing that perhaps at first accidentally meeting the vanity of the one had been so worked on by the flattery of the other as to lead by degrees to all the rest Elinor remembered what Robert had told her in Harley Street of his opinion of what his own mediation in his brother 's affairs might have done if applied to in time She repeated it to Edward {para} THAT was exactly like Robert was his immediate observation And THAT he presently added might perhaps be in HIS head when the acquaintance between them first began And Lucy perhaps at first might think only of procuring his good offices in my favour Other designs might afterward arise {para} How long it had been carrying on between them however he was equally at a loss with herself to make out for at Oxford where he had remained for choice ever since his quitting London he had had no means of hearing of her but from herself and her letters to the very last were neither less frequent nor less affectionate than usual Not the smallest suspicion therefore had ever occurred to prepare him for what followed and when at last it burst on him in a letter from Lucy herself he had been for some time he believed half stupified between the wonder the horror and the joy of such a deliverance He put the letter into Elinor 's hands {para} DEAR SIR {para} Being very sure I have long lost your affections I have thought myself at liberty to bestow my own on another and have no doubt of being as happy with him as I once used to think I might be with you but I scorn to accept a hand while the heart was another 's Sincerely wish you happy in your choice and it shall not be my fault if we are not always good friends as our near relationship now makes proper I can safely say I owe you no ill will and am sure you will be too generous to do us any ill offices Your brother has gained my affections entirely and as we could not live without one another we are just returned from the altar and are now on our way to Dawlish for a few weeks which place your dear brother has great curiosity to see but thought I would first trouble you with these few lines and shall always remain {para} Your sincere well wisher friend and sister LUCY FERRARS {para} I have burnt all your letters and will return your picture the first opportunity Please to destroy my scrawls but the ring with my hair you are very welcome to keep {para} Elinor read and returned it without any comment {para} I will not ask your opinion of it as a composition said Edward For worlds would not I have had a letter of hers seen by YOU in former days In a sister it is bad enough but in a wife how I have blushed over the pages of her writing and I believe I may say that since the first half year of our foolish business this is the only letter I ever received from her of which the substance made me any amends for the defect of the style {para} However it may have come about said Elinor after a pause they are certainly married And your mother has brought on herself a most appropriate punishment The independence she settled on Robert through resentment against you has put it in his power to make his own choice and she has actually been bribing one son with a thousand a year to do the very deed which she disinherited the other for intending to do She will hardly be less hurt I suppose by Robert 's marrying Lucy than she would have been by your marrying her {para} She will be more hurt by it for Robert always was her favourite She will be more hurt by it and on the same principle will forgive him much sooner {para} In what state the affair stood at present between them Edward knew not for no communication with any of his family had yet been attempted by him He had quitted Oxford within four and twenty hours after Lucy 's letter arrived and with only one object before him the nearest road to Barton had had no leisure to form any scheme of conduct with which that road did not hold the most intimate connection He could do nothing till he were assured of his fate with Miss Dashwood and by his rapidity in seeking THAT fate it is to be supposed in spite of the jealousy with which he had once thought of Colonel Brandon in spite of the modesty with which he rated his own deserts and the politeness with which he talked of his doubts he did not upon the whole expect a very cruel reception It was his business however to say that he DID and he said it very prettily What he might say on the subject a twelvemonth after must be referred to the imagination of husbands and wives {para} That Lucy had certainly meant to deceive to go off with a flourish of malice against him in her message by Thomas was perfectly clear to Elinor and Edward himself now thoroughly enlightened on her character had no scruple in believing her capable of the utmost meanness of wanton ill nature Though his eyes had been long opened even before his acquaintance with Elinor began to her ignorance and a want of liberality in some of her opinions they had been equally imputed by him to her want of education and till her last letter reached him he had always believed her to be a well disposed good hearted girl and thoroughly attached to himself Nothing but such a persuasion could have prevented his putting an end to an engagement which long before the discovery of it laid him open to his mother 's anger had been a continual source of disquiet and regret to him {para} I thought it my duty said he independent of my feelings to give her the option of continuing the engagement or not when I was renounced by my mother and stood to all appearance without a friend in the world to assist me In such a situation as that where there seemed nothing to tempt the avarice or the vanity of any living creature how could I suppose when she so earnestly so warmly insisted on sharing my fate whatever it might be that any thing but the most disinterested affection was her inducement And even now I cannot comprehend on what motive she acted or what fancied advantage it could be to her to be fettered to a man for whom she had not the smallest regard and who had only two thousand pounds in the world She could not foresee that Colonel Brandon would give me a living {para} No but she might suppose that something would occur in your favour that your own family might in time relent And at any rate she lost nothing by continuing the engagement for she has proved that it fettered neither her inclination nor her actions The connection was certainly a respectable one and probably gained her consideration among her friends and if nothing more advantageous occurred it would be better for her to marry YOU than be single {para} Edward was of course immediately convinced that nothing could have been more natural than Lucy 's conduct nor more self evident than the motive of it {para} Elinor scolded him harshly as ladies always scold the imprudence which compliments themselves for having spent so much time with them at Norland when he must have felt his own inconstancy {para} Your behaviour was certainly very wrong said she because to say nothing of my own conviction our relations were all led away by it to fancy and expect WHAT as you were THEN situated could never be {para} He could only plead an ignorance of his own heart and a mistaken confidence in the force of his engagement {para} I was simple enough to think that because my FAITH was plighted to another there could be no danger in my being with you and that the consciousness of my engagement was to keep my heart as safe and sacred as my honour I felt that I admired you but I told myself it was only friendship and till I began to make comparisons between yourself and Lucy I did not know how far I was got After that I suppose I WAS wrong in remaining so much in Sussex and the arguments with which I reconciled myself to the expediency of it were no better than these The danger is my own I am doing no injury to anybody but myself {para} Elinor smiled and shook her head {para} Edward heard with pleasure of Colonel Brandon 's being expected at the Cottage as he really wished not only to be better acquainted with him but to have an opportunity of convincing him that he no longer resented his giving him the living of Delaford Which at present said he after thanks so ungraciously delivered as mine were on the occasion he must think I have never forgiven him for offering {para} NOW he felt astonished himself that he had never yet been to the place But so little interest had be taken in the matter that he owed all his knowledge of the house garden and glebe extent of the parish condition of the land and rate of the tithes to Elinor herself who had heard so much of it from Colonel Brandon and heard it with so much attention as to be entirely mistress of the subject {para} One question after this only remained undecided between them one difficulty only was to be overcome They were brought together by mutual affection with the warmest approbation of their real friends their intimate knowledge of each other seemed to make their happiness certain and they only wanted something to live upon Edward had two thousand pounds and Elinor one which with Delaford living was all that they could call their own for it was impossible that Mrs Dashwood should advance anything and they were neither of them quite enough in love to think that three hundred and fifty pounds a year would supply them with the comforts of life {para} Edward was not entirely without hopes of some favourable change in his mother towards him and on THAT he rested for the residue of their income But Elinor had no such dependence for since Edward would still be unable to marry Miss Morton and his chusing herself had been spoken of in Mrs Ferrars 's flattering language as only a lesser evil than his chusing Lucy Steele she feared that Robert 's offence would serve no other purpose than to enrich Fanny {para} About four days after Edward 's arrival Colonel Brandon appeared to complete Mrs Dashwood 's satisfaction and to give her the dignity of having for the first time since her living at Barton more company with her than her house would hold Edward was allowed to retain the privilege of first comer and Colonel Brandon therefore walked every night to his old quarters at the Park from whence he usually returned in the morning early enough to interrupt the lovers first tete a tete before breakfast {para} A three weeks residence at Delaford where in his evening hours at least he had little to do but to calculate the disproportion between thirty six and seventeen brought him to Barton in a temper of mind which needed all the improvement in Marianne 's looks all the kindness of her welcome and all the encouragement of her mother 's language to make it cheerful Among such friends however and such flattery he did revive No rumour of Lucy 's marriage had yet reached him he knew nothing of what had passed and the first hours of his visit were consequently spent in hearing and in wondering Every thing was explained to him by Mrs Dashwood and he found fresh reason to rejoice in what he had done for Mr Ferrars since eventually it promoted the interest of Elinor {para} It would be needless to say that the gentlemen advanced in the good opinion of each other as they advanced in each other 's acquaintance for it could not be otherwise Their resemblance in good principles and good sense in disposition and manner of thinking would probably have been sufficient to unite them in friendship without any other attraction but their being in love with two sisters and two sisters fond of each other made that mutual regard inevitable and immediate which might otherwise have waited the effect of time and judgment {para} The letters from town which a few days before would have made every nerve in Elinor 's body thrill with transport now arrived to be read with less emotion that mirth Mrs Jennings wrote to tell the wonderful tale to vent her honest indignation against the jilting girl and pour forth her compassion towards poor Mr Edward who she was sure had quite doted upon the worthless hussy and was now by all accounts almost broken hearted at Oxford I do think she continued nothing was ever carried on so sly for it was but two days before Lucy called and sat a couple of hours with me Not a soul suspected anything of the matter not even Nancy who poor soul came crying to me the day after in a great fright for fear of Mrs Ferrars as well as not knowing how to get to Plymouth for Lucy it seems borrowed all her money before she went off to be married on purpose we suppose to make a show with and poor Nancy had not seven shillings in the world so I was very glad to give her five guineas to take her down to Exeter where she thinks of staying three or four weeks with Mrs Burgess in hopes as I tell her to fall in with the Doctor again And I must say that Lucy 's crossness not to take them along with them in the chaise is worse than all Poor Mr Edward I cannot get him out of my head but you must send for him to Barton and Miss Marianne must try to comfort him {para} Mr Dashwood 's strains were more solemn Mrs Ferrars was the most unfortunate of women poor Fanny had suffered agonies of sensibility and he considered the existence of each under such a blow with grateful wonder Robert 's offence was unpardonable but Lucy 's was infinitely worse Neither of them were ever again to be mentioned to Mrs Ferrars and even if she might hereafter be induced to forgive her son his wife should never be acknowledged as her daughter nor be permitted to appear in her presence The secrecy with which everything had been carried on between them was rationally treated as enormously heightening the crime because had any suspicion of it occurred to the others proper measures would have been taken to prevent the marriage and he called on Elinor to join with him in regretting that Lucy 's engagement with Edward had not rather been fulfilled than that she should thus be the means of spreading misery farther in the family He thus continued {para} Mrs Ferrars has never yet mentioned Edward 's name which does not surprise us but to our great astonishment not a line has been received from him on the occasion Perhaps however he is kept silent by his fear of offending and I shall therefore give him a hint by a line to Oxford that his sister and I both think a letter of proper submission from him addressed perhaps to Fanny and by her shewn to her mother might not be taken amiss for we all know the tenderness of Mrs Ferrars 's heart and that she wishes for nothing so much as to be on good terms with her children {para} This paragraph was of some importance to the prospects and conduct of Edward It determined him to attempt a reconciliation though not exactly in the manner pointed out by their brother and sister {para} A letter of proper submission repeated he would they have me beg my mother 's pardon for Robert 's ingratitude to HER and breach of honour to ME I can make no submission I am grown neither humble nor penitent by what has passed I am grown very happy but that would not interest I know of no submission that IS proper for me to make {para} You may certainly ask to be forgiven said Elinor because you have offended and I should think you might NOW venture so far as to profess some concern for having ever formed the engagement which drew on you your mother 's anger {para} He agreed that he might {para} And when she has forgiven you perhaps a little humility may be convenient while acknowledging a second engagement almost as imprudent in HER eyes as the first {para} He had nothing to urge against it but still resisted the idea of a letter of proper submission and therefore to make it easier to him as he declared a much greater willingness to make mean concessions by word of mouth than on paper it was resolved that instead of writing to Fanny he should go to London and personally intreat her good offices in his favour And if they really DO interest themselves said Marianne in her new character of candour in bringing about a reconciliation I shall think that even John and Fanny are not entirely without merit {para} After a visit on Colonel Brandon 's side of only three or four days the two gentlemen quitted Barton together They were to go immediately to Delaford that Edward might have some personal knowledge of his future home and assist his patron and friend in deciding on what improvements were needed to it and from thence after staying there a couple of nights he was to proceed on his journey to town {para} CHAPTER 50 {para} After a proper resistance on the part of Mrs Ferrars just so violent and so steady as to preserve her from that reproach which she always seemed fearful of incurring the reproach of being too amiable Edward was admitted to her presence and pronounced to be again her son {para} Her family had of late been exceedingly fluctuating For many years of her life she had had two sons but the crime and annihilation of Edward a few weeks ago had robbed her of one the similar annihilation of Robert had left her for a fortnight without any and now by the resuscitation of Edward she had one again {para} In spite of his being allowed once more to live however he did not feel the continuance of his existence secure till he had revealed his present engagement for the publication of that circumstance he feared might give a sudden turn to his constitution and carry him off as rapidly as before With apprehensive caution therefore it was revealed and he was listened to with unexpected calmness Mrs Ferrars at first reasonably endeavoured to dissuade him from marrying Miss Dashwood by every argument in her power told him that in Miss Morton he would have a woman of higher rank and larger fortune and enforced the assertion by observing that Miss Morton was the daughter of a nobleman with thirty thousand pounds while Miss Dashwood was only the daughter of a private gentleman with no more than THREE but when she found that though perfectly admitting the truth of her representation he was by no means inclined to be guided by it she judged it wisest from the experience of the past to submit and therefore after such an ungracious delay as she owed to her own dignity and as served to prevent every suspicion of good will she issued her decree of consent to the marriage of Edward and Elinor {para} What she would engage to do towards augmenting their income was next to be considered and here it plainly appeared that though Edward was now her only son he was by no means her eldest for while Robert was inevitably endowed with a thousand pounds a year not the smallest objection was made against Edward 's taking orders for the sake of two hundred and fifty at the utmost nor was anything promised either for the present or in future beyond the ten thousand pounds which had been given with Fanny {para} It was as much however as was desired and more than was expected by Edward and Elinor and Mrs Ferrars herself by her shuffling excuses seemed the only person surprised at her not giving more {para} With an income quite sufficient to their wants thus secured to them they had nothing to wait for after Edward was in possession of the living but the readiness of the house to which Colonel Brandon with an eager desire for the accommodation of Elinor was making considerable improvements and after waiting some time for their completion after experiencing as usual a thousand disappointments and delays from the unaccountable dilatoriness of the workmen Elinor as usual broke through the first positive resolution of not marrying till every thing was ready and the ceremony took place in Barton church early in the autumn {para} The first month after their marriage was spent with their friend at the Mansion house from whence they could superintend the progress of the Parsonage and direct every thing as they liked on the spot could chuse papers project shrubberies and invent a sweep Mrs Jennings 's prophecies though rather jumbled together were chiefly fulfilled for she was able to visit Edward and his wife in their Parsonage by Michaelmas and she found in Elinor and her husband as she really believed one of the happiest couples in the world They had in fact nothing to wish for but the marriage of Colonel Brandon and Marianne and rather better pasturage for their cows {para} They were visited on their first settling by almost all their relations and friends Mrs Ferrars came to inspect the happiness which she was almost ashamed of having authorised and even the Dashwoods were at the expense of a journey from Sussex to do them honour {para} I will not say that I am disappointed my dear sister said John as they were walking together one morning before the gates of Delaford House THAT would be saying too much for certainly you have been one of the most fortunate young women in the world as it is But I confess it would give me great pleasure to call Colonel Brandon brother His property here his place his house every thing is in such respectable and excellent condition and his woods I have not seen such timber any where in Dorsetshire as there is now standing in Delaford Hanger And though perhaps Marianne may not seem exactly the person to attract him yet I think it would altogether be advisable for you to have them now frequently staying with you for as Colonel Brandon seems a great deal at home nobody can tell what may happen for when people are much thrown together and see little of anybody else and it will always be in your power to set her off to advantage and so forth in short you may as well give her a chance You understand me {para} But though Mrs Ferrars DID come to see them and always treated them with the make believe of decent affection they were never insulted by her real favour and preference THAT was due to the folly of Robert and the cunning of his wife and it was earned by them before many months had passed away The selfish sagacity of the latter which had at first drawn Robert into the scrape was the principal instrument of his deliverance from it for her respectful humility assiduous attentions and endless flatteries as soon as the smallest opening was given for their exercise reconciled Mrs Ferrars to his choice and re established him completely in her favour {para} The whole of Lucy 's behaviour in the affair and the prosperity which crowned it therefore may be held forth as a most encouraging instance of what an earnest an unceasing attention to self interest however its progress may be apparently obstructed will do in securing every advantage of fortune with no other sacrifice than that of time and conscience When Robert first sought her acquaintance and privately visited her in Bartlett 's Buildings it was only with the view imputed to him by his brother He merely meant to persuade her to give up the engagement and as there could be nothing to overcome but the affection of both he naturally expected that one or two interviews would settle the matter In that point however and that only he erred for though Lucy soon gave him hopes that his eloquence would convince her in TIME another visit another conversation was always wanted to produce this conviction Some doubts always lingered in her mind when they parted which could only be removed by another half hour 's discourse with himself His attendance was by this means secured and the rest followed in course Instead of talking of Edward they came gradually to talk only of Robert a subject on which he had always more to say than on any other and in which she soon betrayed an interest even equal to his own and in short it became speedily evident to both that he had entirely supplanted his brother He was proud of his conquest proud of tricking Edward and very proud of marrying privately without his mother 's consent What immediately followed is known They passed some months in great happiness at Dawlish for she had many relations and old acquaintances to cut and he drew several plans for magnificent cottages and from thence returning to town procured the forgiveness of Mrs Ferrars by the simple expedient of asking it which at Lucy 's instigation was adopted The forgiveness at first indeed as was reasonable comprehended only Robert and Lucy who had owed his mother no duty and therefore could have transgressed none still remained some weeks longer unpardoned But perseverance in humility of conduct and messages in self condemnation for Robert 's offence and gratitude for the unkindness she was treated with procured her in time the haughty notice which overcame her by its graciousness and led soon afterwards by rapid degrees to the highest state of affection and influence Lucy became as necessary to Mrs Ferrars as either Robert or Fanny and while Edward was never cordially forgiven for having once intended to marry her and Elinor though superior to her in fortune and birth was spoken of as an intruder SHE was in every thing considered and always openly acknowledged to be a favourite child They settled in town received very liberal assistance from Mrs Ferrars were on the best terms imaginable with the Dashwoods and setting aside the jealousies and ill will continually subsisting between Fanny and Lucy in which their husbands of course took a part as well as the frequent domestic disagreements between Robert and Lucy themselves nothing could exceed the harmony in which they all lived together {para} What Edward had done to forfeit the right of eldest son might have puzzled many people to find out and what Robert had done to succeed to it might have puzzled them still more It was an arrangement however justified in its effects if not in its cause for nothing ever appeared in Robert 's style of living or of talking to give a suspicion of his regretting the extent of his income as either leaving his brother too little or bringing himself too much and if Edward might be judged from the ready discharge of his duties in every particular from an increasing attachment to his wife and his home and from the regular cheerfulness of his spirits he might be supposed no less contented with his lot no less free from every wish of an exchange {para} Elinor 's marriage divided her as little from her family as could well be contrived without rendering the cottage at Barton entirely useless for her mother and sisters spent much more than half their time with her Mrs Dashwood was acting on motives of policy as well as pleasure in the frequency of her visits at Delaford for her wish of bringing Marianne and Colonel Brandon together was hardly less earnest though rather more liberal than what John had expressed It was now her darling object Precious as was the company of her daughter to her she desired nothing so much as to give up its constant enjoyment to her valued friend and to see Marianne settled at the mansion house was equally the wish of Edward and Elinor They each felt his sorrows and their own obligations and Marianne by general consent was to be the reward of all {para} With such a confederacy against her with a knowledge so intimate of his goodness with a conviction of his fond attachment to herself which at last though long after it was observable to everybody else burst on her what could she do {para} Marianne Dashwood was born to an extraordinary fate She was born to discover the falsehood of her own opinions and to counteract by her conduct her most favourite maxims She was born to overcome an affection formed so late in life as at seventeen and with no sentiment superior to strong esteem and lively friendship voluntarily to give her hand to another and THAT other a man who had suffered no less than herself under the event of a former attachment whom two years before she had considered too old to be married and who still sought the constitutional safeguard of a flannel waistcoat {para} But so it was Instead of falling a sacrifice to an irresistible passion as once she had fondly flattered herself with expecting instead of remaining even for ever with her mother and finding her only pleasures in retirement and study as afterwards in her more calm and sober judgment she had determined on she found herself at nineteen submitting to new attachments entering on new duties placed in a new home a wife the mistress of a family and the patroness of a village {para} Colonel Brandon was now as happy as all those who best loved him believed he deserved to be in Marianne he was consoled for every past affliction her regard and her society restored his mind to animation and his spirits to cheerfulness and that Marianne found her own happiness in forming his was equally the persuasion and delight of each observing friend Marianne could never love by halves and her whole heart became in time as much devoted to her husband as it had once been to Willoughby {para} Willoughby could not hear of her marriage without a pang and his punishment was soon afterwards complete in the voluntary forgiveness of Mrs Smith who by stating his marriage with a woman of character as the source of her clemency gave him reason for believing that had he behaved with honour towards Marianne he might at once have been happy and rich That his repentance of misconduct which thus brought its own punishment was sincere need not be doubted nor that he long thought of Colonel Brandon with envy and of Marianne with regret But that he was for ever inconsolable that he fled from society or contracted an habitual gloom of temper or died of a broken heart must not be depended on for he did neither He lived to exert and frequently to enjoy himself His wife was not always out of humour nor his home always uncomfortable and in his breed of horses and dogs and in sporting of every kind he found no inconsiderable degree of domestic felicity {para} For Marianne however in spite of his incivility in surviving her loss he always retained that decided regard which interested him in every thing that befell her and made her his secret standard of perfection in woman and many a rising beauty would be slighted by him in after days as bearing no comparison with Mrs Brandon {para} Mrs Dashwood was prudent enough to remain at the cottage without attempting a removal to Delaford and fortunately for Sir John and Mrs Jennings when Marianne was taken from them Margaret had reached an age highly suitable for dancing and not very ineligible for being supposed to have a lover {para} Between Barton and Delaford there was that constant communication which strong family affection would naturally dictate and among the merits and the happiness of Elinor and Marianne let it not be ranked as the least considerable that though sisters and living almost within sight of each other they could live without disagreement between themselves or producing coolness between their husbands {para} THE END {EOF}